Lifeline - 110. Rubbing Entrances

Episode Date: May 19, 2024

✨ LIFELINE LUXURY is available at patreon.com/lifelineluxury. Extra episodes every month, no advice, all for $5. 🤳 Want to submit to Lifeline? Go here: forms.gle/EYbqjvyy1A9r728Y9 ☎️ You can also call the hotline at 213-973-8095 Today, we're talking about Johnny Cash & young Liam Neeson, if Sinbad was ever a genie, the proper way to order names, dealing with young brothers who fight, if hamsters are rats, and how to get along with old people. 🎧 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: apple.co/3NG2G2G 🔊 Subscribe on Spotify: spoti.fi/3NPUwoT 🔗 All our links: linktr.ee/watchlifeline 💚 Lifeline is the first podcast about you, hosted by Matt D'Elia & Chris D'Elia. 📆 Book 20 or 40 min one-on-one sessions with Matt at mattdelia.com. More LIFELINE: Instagram: instagram.com/watchlifeline Tiktok: tiktok.com/@watchlifeline Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Let's go seize the night. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamex. Benefits vary by car and other conditions apply. Now we're rolling. Yeah, dude, man. We did lifeline last night live in irvine and it was so fun it was actually way i thought it was gonna be fun but i couldn't believe how fun it was and it was so good and i will say it was one of my favorite experiences on stage probably now that makes me feel good everybody you included or you were guys were all asking me everybody here

am i nervous am i nervous and i'll be honest dude i for whatever reason i mean i think i know the main reason i was not nervous at all and i didn't even have like jitters when we walked out i thought like oh i will when we're about to go out but just knowing that if it tanked, like I'm on stage with my favorite comedian, so it's not going to be that bad. Jerry Sanford was there? Yeah, Jerry was there. No, Jim Gaffigan

was right next to me the whole time. Just waiting like this. But he never had to come out. With hot pockets. With a Christmas tree. I think that it was great and it's going to be on Patreon.

So it's not up yet, but if you can go on Patreon, patreon.com slash Lifeline Luxury, and you get on there now, you'll be able to access the show and redrop it, and then also there's Lifeline Luxuries on there right now that you can get. And straight up, I honestly think that it was the best episode of Lifeline ever. Yeah, it probably was the best episode of Lifeline. It's so nice to be able to interact with you in real time.

But it's different, though, because doing it on Zoom isn't the same. Something about with the audience, it was just great. It was so fun. It was special, honestly. And I want to do more, so we'll see what's going on. And frankly, not only was I up there just feeling like I was love and laugh, love and laugh, love and laugh. I could tell the audience when And when I looked out that

they were just like, love and love, love and love. Yeah, I don't know, man. And I was wearing this hat. You were wearing that hat. So it's so anyway, go check out Mojo going. Don't come out on the Patreon stuff. And and that's good. And I'm going to be in Chattanooga, Tennessee, and I'm going to be in Charleston, West Virginia. And I'm going to be in Irvine. I'm going to go back to Irvine and do my stand-up there. Des Moines, Iowa, Green Bay, Wisconsin, and then I got my Australia and New Zealand dates. So go over there, and then Oxnard, California. And everyone's saying, why don't you come to New Zealand? And it's really, really getting me going because I say I'm going to Australia and New Zealand,

and they only hear Australia, and they say, why don't you come to New Zealand? And it really gets me going. How is that even going to Australia and New Zealand and they only hear Australia and they say, why don't you come to New Zealand? And it really gets me going. How is that even possible? Oh, dude, the internet. You say New Zealand and they say, why don't you come to New Zealand? But I will post a show that I was at and be like, Green Bay was amazing. And then somebody under that will be like, man, I wish you would come to the Midwest. I wish you'd come to Green Bay. You know what I mean? Yeah. And there you have it. This is only more to my point that I keep making more and more, which is that people are so stupid yeah try to imagine how stupid you're not even close they're way

stupider so go to chrisley.com to get those tickets and uh check out matt's podcast private record at the private record.com and if you have a thing submission a video that you want to do for us send it on over at watch watch lifeline.com or leave us a message on the hotline and if you want a one-on-one advice session with Matt, go to mattdalia.com. You never mentioned the hotline. Good job. And also, of course, if you want the merch,

go to lifelinemerch.com. I want to wear it. Look. And get that. Dude, last night, a bunch of people bought this, and I forgot how amazing the black hoodie is. You get the absolute beautiful... Look at the script. Uh-oh. Look at it. Look at is. You get the absolute beautiful. Look at the script.

Look at it. Look at it. Look at the script and the artwork. It's absolutely fantastic. And if you want, coming or going. Look, coming or going. Wow. Look.

Coming or going. Coming or going right there. You got the lifeline on that pocket right there it says lifeline what's it say their lifeline call now dude i don't know the thing and there we go beautiful and look at it and you know and you know it's just got that pizza on there and the has no idea what it's brain with the fork in it just lifeline style uh absolute anyway dude i watch just old qvc clips not like not bloopers okay whoever out there thinks you know what i'm talking about oh yeah i love the bloopers that's not what i mean so get over yourself i don't know if anyone's really doing get over yourself thinking i'm

talking about the bloopers i'm not talking about the bloopers i'm talking about the bloopers. I'm not talking about the bloopers. I'm talking about just regular old local, like from Kansas City, QVC from like 1989. I watch it, okay? And I watch it for a long time. And then I taught myself. I watched local weather channel stuff from like outside St. Louis. The most. Just because I want to do it, okay? Not bloopers. The most boring personal life. Dude, no, it's really- Time for some weather. It sounds utterly backwards, but it's fascinating. It's fascinating stuff. I can't recommend it more. Because you like to think about those people's lives and stuff. And I like to think about how different things are now than they were then.

And one guy is getting a divorce and- Oh, so deeper. And his penis is bigger, softer than it is hard. So deeper, not possible. I'm just saying, no, it could. It could congeal. Congeal. Yeah.

And so anyway, that was really fun though last night. We did the Lifeline Live last night. It was so fun. I want to do more. Yeah. Let us know. We'll see. Not only if we should do more, but where we should do more.

Yeah, where's our demo? Where do we want to go to? We don't want to go to New Zealand because that's probably not our demo. New Zealand. Who knows, man? Is it Iowa? Is it Florida? No, it's New Zealand.

It's not. Is it Florida? Is it Ohio? Is it Eugene, Oregon? Where is it? Everybody let us know. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Could be. Florida. Could be Florida. Could be Florida, dude. I don't know. Floridians love me, dude. Honestly, as long as

it's not shreveport because i don't ever want to go there again oh okay dude shreveport i got pulled over in shreveport uh johnny fucking cash song yeah that's a second episode in a row one of us said something that sounded like a johnny cash song you actually sang something last week no last night i did the elvis song thing no i know but on the last episode of this show okay you said something right i said johnny cash song yeah so it's all good you know i got pulled over in tree port you never ever seen a man blood coming out of man's eyes doesn't go together you know what i mean like that's what he always took it to the real dark real quick johnny cash yeah i was shopping in a k-mart you then i saw a man bleed to death in the aisle bleed to death in the aisle wow that'd be a good cut more people bled to death

in the aisle and there was so much bloody mess in the aisle. I got my amenities and got out there. Boom. No way, dude. People just loving it. People just in Fort Worth. Yes. Yes. Do you know the story about dad and mom taking us to see Johnny Cash in North Carolina?

I do. When I was three? I do. Okay. Did I tell it on the show? I think. No, you don't. Okay. Thank you, Anthony. The only person only person who ever pays it sound more like a deaf guy though Anthony when you talk he didn't dude come on he didn't sound like that uh how would he know he's deaf

so I my dad the only movie he ever made, he shot it in North Carolina. That is true. He's made more than one movie. No, he hasn't. Yeah, he did the Dottie West story. That's a TV movie. It's a movie. The only feature film that came out in movie theaters before. There we go.

Okay. So we'd like to get specific with our words. You're such a prick. But we'd like to get specific with our words. Okay. Okay. Anyway, he was shooting it and we went down to visit him, me, my mom, my brother from New Jersey.

And one of the things that there was to do in the middle of nowhere in North Carolina at the time was a Johnny Cash concert. He came to town, big tent. I remember it like it was yesterday, dude. Okay. We got good seats. We're like the big Hollywood people from New York

making a movie. And we're in like the third, fourth row, right in the middle. And in the middle of the concert, Johnny Cash, between songs, goes, and this is a song I'd like to dedicate to the man upstairs. And in the quiet part between that and the song coming up, I, however old I was, three or four, groaned and said,

oh no, not another song about God. Yeah, dude, and everyone in the Bible Belt turned and looked at him, and that was when they thought he was Satan, a three-year-old Satan. Yeah, from New York, you know? Is that the Hollywood family? Yep. Is that the Hollywood family? Anyway, here's the song.

I love the man upstairs, and then his eyes bled. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. There was blood all over the cross. And the fields and the fields and there were nails in his wrists and nails in his ankles and the blood was coming out so much. Oh my God.

That would be a good one. I would listen to that one for sure. I can't believe how much blood there was. Then someone saw him and said, I can't believe a man is dying. So repetitive. So not insightful, you know? No, dude.

Someone saw him and said, I can't believe a man is dying. So bad dude dude all country music all the johnny cash's song would be like i love what's his subject pick a subject that's not death uh prison no no no like someone that's like oh oh oh obviously prison yeah we're in a cell and i'll bash the guy's head in but it makes sense but i thought you meant pick it like that you would sing about pick something okay like vacationing i went on vacation and saw my wife's head off down to get down i mean there was blood spouting out her neck area down to the neck area

tried to put it back on but you can't do that they don't have reconstructive surgery that'll allow that and even if they did you'd probably still be paralyzed. That's what we get for going to Jupiter, Florida. Worsification. Worsification. Anyway, dude, I know a lot of places around, so Jupiter is just one of them. He knows a lot of places because he had that song, I've Been Everywhere. Is that him?

I don't know. Is that him? I don't know. Is that him? I don't know. Yeah? Yeah. You're talking about Ludacris? I've got hoes. I've got hoes.

Ludacris the lounge act. Ludacris the lounge act. Area code. Hoes. That would be funny, actually. That is what it is. If a lounge act singer did Ludacris. There is something like that. But also, Ludacris is basically lounge act singer did Ludacris. There is something like that.

But also Ludacris is basically that. Yeah. Ludacris. 718-912. Dude, remember when Ludacris got mad at you? Uh-huh. Does anyone know that story? Because that is absolutely hilarious.

Dude, the fact that someone could get mad at someone at a roast for roasting them. Well, it wasn't that actually. It wasn't? Specifically, no. It was the justin peeper roast he got mad at it there were we all wrote jokes and then we uh did our roasts and you know as you're going you're like oh i'm not gonna do that one or i'm gonna do that okay yeah um and there was one about paul walker that i was like nah skip that one because i didn't want to do

it because he died and i felt kind of bad. Yeah, good call. And it just felt like I wasn't going in that direction. So I didn't do it. And then afterwards, I was like, what's up, bro? That was a good job. And he was like, nah, man, you made fun of Paul Walker. And I was like, no, I didn't. And he was like, yeah, you did Paul Walker jokes.

And I was like, no, I didn't. I skipped it. Oh, my God. And he was like, nah, man. And then he shook Jeff Ross's hand who made Paul Walker jokes. Dude, what? And it all happened. It was so fast and furious.

I couldn't even believe it. I have a question, though. Why are there so many people making Paul Walker jokes? Because everyone wants to roast. Because Ludacris was in it. And they were making jokes about Ludacris and saying, like, oh. You know what I mean? It's probably because you look so much like Jeff Ross.

Yeah, maybe. Burn, baby, burn. All right. Well, so that's good. So anyway, we had a good time. So let's get into it. Yeah, maybe. Burn, baby, burn. All right. Well, so that's good. So anyway, we had a good time. So let's get into it, yeah? Yeah. Ha ha ha ha. I mean. What up, man? Chris checking

in from the yayaryoo. Anyways, how would you handle the situation? So I got invited to a party, and myself and the party host have a mutual friend. So I hit up the mutual friend, and I'm like, yo, are you going to this guy's party tonight or this guy's gathering or whatever the situation is? And he's all, what party?

What are you talking about? And I'm in that situation where I asked somebody that I assumed was invited to the party if they were going. And now I feel like the bad guy because maybe am I adding some tension between them? And now I have to explain that this guy's doing something and this guy wasn't invited. And then this guy's going to get mad at me for telling about the party. I don't know what to do. In a weird situation, it's happened before with parties, gatherings, dinners, whatever the heck.

And I'm not really sure how to navigate this because this is a very awkward situation. How do I moonwalk out of this? How do you guys handle it? You guys are the best. Appreciate it. Yeah. Stop doing it. I mean, learn your lesson.

What do you mean it's happened before? If it's happened before, why did you do it again, dude? For parties, get togethers, hangouts, when people are hanging out, a bunch of different people coming over.

It's happened to a bunch of people throwing out an Evite. I mean, just a party. Anniversaries, dude, okay. Wedding.

All you do, you can't do anything now. You already fucking blew it up, man. Yeah. You gotta, and moving forward, next time it happens, text the person

throwing the party saying, oh, hey, is so-and-so invited? Yes? Okay. Then I'll text them and see if they want to go, whatever. No? Okay. I won't text them. By not doing that, you've exposed that you're fucking dumb, dude. It's so obvious. It's so obvious to not do that. And then also, here's the other thing though. Anyone throwing a party, you're going to get found out. There's yeah you gotta invite everybody twitter there's all sorts of so it doesn't matter so you just got to be like yeah i didn't invite you or and make sure you invite everybody you wanted to right because sometimes you forget to invite people you know and it's not because you don't like them of course it's like oh shit yeah oh what the fuck totally yeah also don't throw parties

because by throwing parties you're gonna get yourself into trouble but that guy obviously most people with those parties he looks like he belongs at every party there ever was if i ever throw a party that guy's invited he's been there yeah yeah exactly you just didn't know yeah yeah no i would definitely invite that guy to parties i was hard on him i called him dumb but i didn't he's not dumb i didn't mean it he's just drake i didn't mean it okay okay no he's not dumb but also he's dra, and you know how he smells. He smells like so much cologne, and that's fine. Yeah, yeah. No one knows how he smells. Because he's never not got your car noir. Right,

right, right, right, right, right. He might smell great, but nobody knows. You know how some people go like this, and then go into it, and he just goes like this. 19 times. One person has choked and almost died what anyone walked by him what does he do though that guy has a job i don't know what does he do in this situation i don't i think it's lost you already fucked it up it's like breaking a plate and being like what do i do how do i not break the plate you broke the plate how you gonna eat going to eat? I think, yeah, you fucked up.

This is bothering me for sure. The other guy, I knew it would. Why would you throw it there? Well, I threw it there and I was like, oh, am I bothering him? I thought, fuck it. It was just too late. Didn't care enough about me, you know? No, I do.

Because I wasn't sure. If I had confirmed it would bother you, I wouldn't have done it. Okay. But yeah, I don't know. I think that you just... I don't know. Now the other guy has to be invited, you know? That's, yeah. You know what you got to do?

You got to talk to the guy that's throwing the party and be like, listen, man, I fucked up. Pretend you forgot to send this guy an invite, but not right now. That's what you do, dude. There you go. All right? Now you got advice.

You happy now? Don't do it right then. No, yeah. Be like, dude, don't do this right now. Well, it's later anyway. But yeah, right, right right but for all the people that out there that obviously this advice might apply to this is the thing to do text the person through a party say man i need a favor i'm really really sorry you got to invite this guy because thank you or be like what what party i wasn't invited be like well jokes on you joke's on you. All expenses paid. You're my guest.

But what if the person really didn't want him to come? Then everything's fucked up. Because what if the person at the party is like, no, I don't like that guy anymore. And you're like, oh, dude, you have COVID, we can't come. You have COVID? Yeah. Yeah. And then he's like, no, no, I don't have COVID.

I just tested. He's like, no, no, no, no, you don't. You can get it though tomorrow. You're gonna get it tomorrow yeah all right all right next one hey matt and chris it's danielle from toronto hi danielle quick question you know sinbad was he great in a genie movie yeah oh no whoa that's a great submission you know why brevity yeah but that's a that's one of those... Mandela effects. Yeah, Mandela effects. The answer, we all...

Anybody who knows about this, the actual answer is no. Yeah. That being said, we've talked about the Mandela effect. Kazam is the Shaq. Yeah, but I don't... Do you think people are just mixing those up in their minds?

And if yes, why would they mix up Shaquille O'Neal and Sinbad? It is weird. I don't know. It's not... They don't even look remotely alike. And don't give me the thing where they're both black dude come on no they don't look they don't look anything alike no well he's light-skinned exactly and also like there's no overlap between those two guys no no no one's a fucking comedian

one's a basketball way earlier yeah not even the same eras i know it makes no sense what is what's um is there a movie called Shazam too? No, Shazam is the movie with the Marvel guy. Zachary Levi or whatever. People think that there's a movie Shazam with Sinbad. And it's weird. But I have, I do have a memory of seeing Sinbad in a genie costume.

So I don't know what the. Okay, so listen to this. I read a theory. My friend sent me a theory. Okay. Which is hilarious because he's into this Mandela effect shit. Like really into it. He remembers this Sinbad shit. which is hilarious because he's into this Mandela effect shit, like really into it.

He remembers this Sinbad shit. Okay. He remembers the same thing as Mandela in jail. Like I remember that too. Okay. Dead, died in jail. Nelson Mandela, the headlines. There's a couple other ones, ones to do with Forrest Gump.

There's a couple of really big ones. Chris D'Elia has a tiny penis. That's not true. People think Sally Fields' name is Sally Fields, not Sally Field. Oh, I don't have that so there's a but there's a bunch of them anyway there's this theory that he sent to me that people think that ever since the large hadron collider was built that the what the large hadron collider was built in switzerland or is it in sweden where is that shit i don't know what that is so you know what i'm talking about hold on the the um the large they collide the part the part of the massive particle

accelerator they built underground in europe okay okay just to like find out like this is how they like estimate when the fucking big bang was and shit okay and this is how the boson the the higgs boson dude right they finally like located the Higgs Boson, dude. Okay. Dude, are you laughing because I used to talk about that as a joke? No, I'm laughing because like Chris just, this is all. Anyway, anyway, it's like,

this is how they discovered quarks. Anyway, I don't want to get into it because of who you are, but anyway, people think that this has shifted like time and put people on different planes and put the earth back together look that shit up it's hilarious dude that these people have these like no he doesn't think that but he said he he is interested in the mandela effect yeah and all the ideas that people have about it and one of them damn was utterly look at that that's amazing that someone does that shit. What does she do? She does what? Like makes a fake VHS of it.

Yeah. What? It was this, right? It's from this, but like... I mean, not saying anything specific. But I remember this. See, that's... Okay, Anthony, that's what the Mandela Effect is.

That's not a movie. That doesn't exist. That's not a movie. No, Anthony, you don't understand. That isn't a movie. I completely understand. No, you don't get it. It never existed.

What would it take for Anthony to get mad, honestly? To get mad? He has a level of boiling that he's tamed, and it's always at that certain level, and it's almost at a breaking point at all times. But he's learned to talk quiet through it. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Well, that's interesting, because I thought he was just unflappable. In a way, he is, because he's taming it. He's tamed himself. Chris fucking nailed it. Oh, wow. Good job, Chris. I mean, I nail stuff too, but good job, Chris.

No, no, no, but I know. So I know stuff. But yeah, it is weird, though, that we do have a memory of him as a genie. I don't have that memory. You know why? Smartness. Oh. Mandela in prison was one.

I do have that one. I mean, that is so etched in my memory. As a kid, I remember seeing the headline. Wow. Nelson Mandela dies in jail, dude. What are other ones? I told you a bunch of other ones, man. I know.

There's Fruit Loops is one. What is it? That's not, you can't just say that. Just so hungry. Fruit Loops. The way you spell Fruit Loops. Go ahead. No.

Why don't you spell Fruit Loops? L-O-O-P. Wow. Oh, so dumb, dude dumb dude spell both words oh is it r u i t l o o p s r o o t yes i think i actually don't know which one it doesn't even know it but that's a mandela effect did you look up for loops everybody for some reason agrees that it's one of them anthony will you look up how to spell fruit loops for real for us thank you okay but i'm mad oh it is i remember being uit well that's just like a memory for its yeah no yeah but what's interesting

is that a lot of people have so do fruit loops mandela effect and that's 100 obvious no i think he did it right no he did it right but now we're doing something else oh god damn it oh mascot google her just an and about blaming the laptop andella fruit loops andella okay yeah so say yeah oh no it's obviously the 54 mandela effect examples let's talk about this on luxury dude okay This is too much. All right, that's fine. Let's do another submission. Perfect mustache.

Hello, hosts of the Lifeline podcast. My name is Ryan. My question is, is it Chris and Matt or Matt and Chris? Oh, my God, that is so interesting. And why did both of you just say your own name? My wife thinks it's Madeline and Ryan and not Ryan and Madeline. She thinks it should go in alphabetical order. And I say that it should be the person you knew first and then that add-on person.

I agree. So like if I knew another couple, I'd say that's John and Samantha. Because I knew John first. I mean, no. I agree. I think the way he just did that, bear with me. They know a couple named John and Samantha, him and his wife. He's having an affair with Samantha,

but he pretended to not remember her name for a little bit because he wanted to throw his wife off the track, okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm onto you, Ryan. You know I'm right. Don't fuck with me ever again, dude. What if him and his wife are watching this right now and his wife looks at her and he's crying?

He's gone. And like the door is flapping, you know? Yeah, well, I- This is a good question a good question and what's weird sorry one more thing the last caller said hey matt and chris and i notice it when they people say hey matt and chris because i even think it's weird to say matt and chris chris and matt i think just because you're came first yeah exactly yeah that makes sense because you were saying chris a lot before matt yeah chris and matt so like obviously the parents would say it it's also weird to say the younger brother first and trust me i am very young so it's weird to do that you know it is it is uh but if it's not brothers i think it's what he said i would probably just honestly i would probably do

whoever's older first i would just i don't know i think that's probably but what if it's a couple and they seem the same yeah yeah true i would do i think it's what he said right the one you know better the one you know better definitely not necessarily first the one you know better but it's probably the one you know first for a while and then maybe if you know better then yeah then it changes you were just like yeah which one don't know better yeah you know how to know better samantha no i would i would agree with this guy yeah he's generally alphabetical has nothing to do with it yeah that's way wrong and your wife is fucking dead but here's the other thing too there are also names that sound better yes like chris and matt sounds better than matt

and chris i think matt and chris no chris and matt sounds better than matt chris for sure yeah it's because it's all about the Chris and Matt yeah Matt and Matt and yeah yeah and no it sounds better so that's what you do it yeah so we figured it out yeah so that's all your wife's all fucked up yeah your wife's all fucked up she should go to therapy for that that's a bad bad way she does things just just bad yeah she's bad yeah all right we figured it out thanks Ryan great honestly great mustache for real. That's a really, really well- A lot of hairs per capita. Well-orchestrated mustache, well-kept mustache.

A lot of hairs per capita. Well-placed mustache, perfect symmetry. I like it. Oh, yeah. Coming. All right. Oh, so sexy. I'm Matt from Canada.

Big fan. Been watching since episode episode one and ever since then been trying to think of something that i could submit took you a while uh to be honest i probably should have waited longer because this is a weird question but i want to know if you guys know where my shirt is your cum has a scent not i think it has like a a bleachy chemically not a weird scent but my one buddy checked out we've been arguing about it for years he thinks there's no scent at all he can't smell anything and that just doesn't make sense to me because everything has a scent so let me know

that isn't true i got a bad batch or what's going on i got two things i don't want to think about this guy's fucking jism jism i was was going to say jism. That's not... That's so weird. I never even say that. Neither do you. Neither do I. Weird. What?

We've also... We both said the same word earlier that was weird. Weird. Oh, we both said weird. So, I think two things about jism that is not... That people disagree with. You think two things about jism that is not, that people disagree with. You think two things about jism? Yep.

Okay, go. The floor is yours. One is, it doesn't smell at all. I, look. My jism and all the other men's jism that I smelled. You know? It doesn't smell, okay? Okay. And here's another thing. I'm all ears smelled. You know? It doesn't smell. Okay.

Okay. And here's another thing. I'm all ears. And this is what I don't like. It's not white. What do you mean? It's like clear. But that, it differs, dude.

People's cum is different. It's like some is clear, some is thicker and whiter. I don't like that. I said that it's disgusting. Well. You made me say that. I didn't make you say it. You made me say it, dude.

It's more clear. All the jism I've seen is all clear. In porns, it's all clear you made me say that i didn't make you say it you made me say it dude it's more clear all the jism i've seen is all clear in porns it's all clear it's always porn dude why is porn so funny to me to say it's not it's not white bro people draw it white people say it's white it's not white it's clear dude i'm getting angry oh well can anyone else chime in here chris anthony he's just wrong anthony's never had an orgasm but he's seen come he's seen as you I'm getting angry. Oh, well. Can anyone else chime in here? Chris, Anthony? He's just wrong. Anthony's never had an orgasm. But he's seen cum. He's seen, as you would say, porns.

I'm so nervous. Just, okay. Well, so you want to go? The answer is both. It is both. There's a spectrum, though. It's opaque. Some cums look different than other cums.

Yeah, it's not opaque, and it's not translucent. It's somewhere in between. It's opaque. Some cums look different than other cums. Yeah, it's not opaque and it's not translucent. It's somewhere in between. It's, it's, it's, or sorry, it's not transparent. It's like a translucent color. Yes, he's right. The man is right. When the man's right, the man's right. If you put a lot of it in a cup, it would look like a color.

It would look white. Gross. You're right. Hey, hey, hey, he's talking sense. Now I'm disgusted, but he's talking sense. If you took a drop or two, it look clear done it done it i mean teaching bill nye bill nye the cum guy it's the same reason why bill nye the jism guy same reason why what same reason why if you um you know took a cup of water from a lake, it's clear, but the whole lake... Bill Nye the cum guy, dude!

You ever notice that jism is translucent? Come on over here. Why am I standing near a lake? Kids in third grade just crying, you know? Give me that beer. What'd you learn in school today, kids? Jism is not clear.

An old man took me near a lake and taught me about jism. Did this guy Bill Nye the cum guy Bill Nye the cum guy dude Did this guy Wasn't asking about the No he wasn't

But we took it to a better place Because what he's talking about Is utterly disgusting Okay it doesn't I don't want to think A preacher I don't want to think about a guy Smelling his own

A preacher I don't want to think about me Smelling my own I don't want to think about a guy smelling his own. I don't want to think about me smelling my own. I don't want to think about anyone smelling their own. Well, we're getting demonetized. Say jism and maybe we have a fighting chance. Anthony can bleep it. He's cool.

Anthony knows what's up. Don't bleep jism. We don't ever get flagged. Anthony's good at it. Bill Nye the jizz. Bill Nye the splurt guy. You know? Bill Nye the alchimagism guy What?

Alchimagism? What is that? I don't know Is that something? No Why do I say alchimagism? A magician coming Alchimagism

She turns into a fucking Wow Don't get it on anything Oh no she turns into a fucking wow don't get it on anything oh no you get arrested for bestiality I swear it was a woman my jism it's alchemy jism here watch watch Mr. Freeze just

it's like just let me show you just let me show you and he's doing it and don't come any step closer and he goes and the cop just shoots him but the jizz gets on him and he goes you know he's a fucking lamb or a sheep and there's a gun next to him now and it's his gun that he used and that's a great movie that har Ford made. That would be such a crazy movie if that existed, dude. Wow. Alchemism. Alchemism. Starring Ryan Phillippe.

Oh, wow. I was going to say something about Ryan Phillippe, but. Your cum is magic. It was mean and I don't want to do that. Well, Ryan Phillippe is cool. I know, that's what I want to say. All right. All right.

Next one. Next one. Hey, Matt and Chris. I'm just wondering, as a parent of two boys who fight so intensely sometimes that it's almost like a fight to the death, whether you guys grew up like that, if you fought a lot quite physically, or whether it was more verbal, and if your mum stepped in and played referee, or did she just let you go at it until you came to your own resolution. I'm keen to know what you guys think. And also just love the podcast.

Thank you. I work in suicide prevention as my job, and it's really intense. But listening to your podcast on my way home is always the best way for me to recalibrate and um i thank you for what you guys create so love you thank you okay that was so nice i want to pay the compliment back to you first of all you clearly have a good eye because that is a great shot that like kind of cutting off your face and then with your beautiful dog in the background but dude she looks like what this actress in this movie i fucking love i think the actress's name is rachel ward i think the movie's from 1989 i mean you know we're losing everybody i'm gonna look it up but i i think she's like the most that actress is like the most beautiful woman in the world i just want to look it up so you go while i look this up yeah that's a beautiful she's a beautiful

woman i know I'm just saying you have the hots for her. I have the hots for her, yeah. Okay. Exactly. Rachel Ward, huh? Yeah, that's, I mean. Oh, she's on Baywatch?

No, man. Why is she on Red Swimsuit? Because Red Swimsuit exists in the world. Not before Baywatch. No, only before Baywatch. Afterwards, it's Baywatch. Okay.

Okay, anyway, you go and I'll, okay. What was the question? what was the question what was the question she wants to know about two brothers they always fight oh she's a mom of two brothers okay um well i think our we would probably answer this a little differently like i don't remember fighting too much hey we're gonna podcast i know uh well you remember wrong bro how many had an era we had an era of our lives maybe three or four years one summer mom literally i i i i but but dude okay i know you know this story man but we're talking to a whole entire audience thousands of thousands of people coming uh one summer mom in the beginning of the summer we were fighting so much mom said The whole entire audience, thousands and thousands of people. Come on. One summer, mom, in the beginning of the summer,

we were fighting so much, mom said, I'll pay you both $75 a piece if you both just don't fight the entire summer through the end of August. We were like, hell yeah, 75 bucks, you're on.

You're an idiot. We're going to get, you're going to be 150 bucks out. Loser, mom. Literally, less than two hours later, we're in the back of her suburban and i'm punching you you fucked it up yeah i fucking ruined it and i had totally forgotten and my mom says all right there goes the 75 bucks and i just was like oh no i knew i could do it but

obviously i would have done it couldn't do it even a little bit after dark my sweet after dark my sweet that's the name of the movie rich Rich Ward. So far after Dark My Suite. So you fought me. You fought me. I didn't fight. So that's why you remember it because you remember fighting. I don't remember fighting ever.

Maybe we were in one fight, maybe two fights. But you would like hurt me. How? Do like dick stuff like to the back of my head or like... What?

What's that thing that you used to do like a dung chi? You used to do that and like you used to like... of my head or like what's that thing that used to do like a dung chi you used to do that and like you used to like to like your dick you know you go like this that too yeah on me oh yeah yeah dick you know learning english you do it to your dick yeah you'd go like well it's not called a dung chi no you don't slap your dick oh you're right yeah no it was that you're right it wasn't a dung chi dung chi you know um there's some more common name for that but don Dong Chi, yeah. I'm gonna try and look that up.

Dong Chi, nobody knows what Dong Chi is. Dong Cheetle? It's a Dong Cheetle. Dong Cheetle, that's how you do it. Yeah. It's tough. It's tough because they're both boys and it's almost like,

I mean, if they're really fighting and hurting each other, yeah, you have to put a stop to it yeah that's the thing you know you you when i think about it the only reason why i really did ever stop besides like stop putting me in check by hurting me more is because my mom would like either threaten punishment or make me realize how stupid it was that i was running you as much as it seems these are two unruly little boys that are just never going to listen to you, that is not true. You're their mom. They want you to like them. Obviously, they want you to love them, but they also actually want you to like them, which might seem crazy. That probably sounds

crazy to you right now because of the way they act to you, but I promise you, they want you to like them. So if you can frame it in a way where you're not trying to make them feel stupid, but make it clear that that's not a thing that you like when people do that. When boys do that, it's a thing that you don't like. And that is like you're cutting to the heart of the matter, and that's the likeliest way to get them to... Look, they're never going to stop. If they're fighting all the time, you're never going to get them to fully stop but you can curb it i think by really kind of like getting around the bullshit don't get mad don't get exasperated just let it be known i don't like you guys when you do this i don't know boys

do this it's an unlikable quality i don't know yeah i mean i i don't know if i disagree with that it's just uh punishment you can't now you're grounded the weekend well yeah obviously yeah if it gets to a point where there's nothing you can you have to punish you have to punish them you can't not punish them of course i'm just saying in the meantime before you really throw the gauntlet down you don't want to jump to punishment because that's the last line of defense. If they don't stop after the punishment, you're fucked. Right, but it seems like she's asking us,

so it seems like it's the last line of defense. Maybe. But I don't know. Could be. Yeah. But yeah, the solution is absolutely not to just let them roll with it. No, no, no, no, yeah.

If they're physically fighting, I don't think so. Because they won't just stop on their own. They just won't. They're testing limits. That's what they're doing in the first place. Yeah, they do that. You got to make sure that they don't take it too far. Yeah.

You know? Yeah. Also, we just, for whatever we did or however much we did or didn't fight compared to other brothers, we just, we simply grew out of it. And it ended. I don't. And that's it. I think we've, like, compared to normal brothers, I think we were way under the fighting. That I agree't. That's it. I think we've like compared to normal brothers.

I think we were way under the. That I agree with. Okay. Okay. For sure. Okay. So I thought that you thought maybe we were like middle ground. We were not.

No. If anything, we were like lower third, like 30th, 20th to 30th percentile. Okay. Yeah. I would agree. Cool. Okay. All right. Good luck though. Hey, hey man chris my name is amanda big fan of the podcast been listening since day one um the dynamic between

the two of you really reminds me of me and my brother i'm from also from new jersey and i live in la now so i feel like i can really relate to you guys chicago shirt on so anyway when i buy shit online and i don't like it, I just say, fuck it. Charge the game. And I will either keep it or throw it out because I can't be bothered to return. Yeah, I do. That's all I was like, you know, I'd have over 100 bucks worth of stuff from Amazon. Apparently, they make it easy now to return shit at Whole Foods.

So let me give it a shot. All right. They do. I just left Whole Foods. Never again. I mean, the place is a madhouse. Took forever. It's long ass line.

It's self-serve kiosk. But I also hate grocery stores i hate going grocery shopping i don't know why it's like the bane of my existence i usually get groceries delivered which i already feel guilty about because i have two working legs i have a car but yeah my question for you is do you guys have any like seemingly normal tasks or errands that you just like cannot fucking stand doing um and also do you have any tips on how to just get over it and just do it anyway because i have to be a functioning adult right like i need to just do this shit uh so yeah let me know also i know i

look like a lesbian right now but unfortunately i'm not so hit me up now. Unfortunately. She's cool. She's funny. She's cool. I am not any of any errand. You? Actually, let me start, actually. I won't do it. I'll die first. I hate doing all things that she just described. It's not just grocery shopping.

It's not just post office. I hate it all. I stand for not doing it. Now, I compared to my brother, I'm like a regular person who likes getting shit done i'm the william wallace of not doing chores and errands that is the most not something of all the things that are not something that you said that is the most not william wallace of not doing errands on the fucking thing and they're like will you do the laundry and i'm like no and they cut off my penis. How good is Mel Gibson acting in that scene?

Could you imagine if it was about laundry and Chris D'Elia was in it? I mean, that would be just as good. But dude, honestly, between takes, after he did no, no, when his face is shaking, he literally rolled off of the thing, that wooden thing he was on,

and he just quietly said to some of the extras around him, he said, I'm going to win a fucking Oscar for this. You know? Like, how could he not know that? He actually didn't win for acting but still he won an oscar uh yeah yeah that it just if you're a person in the world and there's not at least let's say three mundane everyday things you hate doing you're like a terrorist you suck you put everybody else to shame dude that is so fucked up that you like

you did 9-11 if you don't like to do your own shit you did 9-11 um no you're not like a fucking i know you know international bomber international yeah you're just like you terrorize everyone around you don't brush your teeth you're timothy mcveigh so um basically no i think that uh if you don't brush your teeth you're disgusting that's different and timothy mcveigh that's like health maintenance yeah i've never not brushed my teeth just so you know okay you don't know and thought that but okay what no one thought you didn't but people think i don't shower i shower every day at least what do people think they always say i look greasy i don't look you know i still that's racist that's because you're italian yeah exactly dude those

people are being racist fucked up dude i have no i don't stand for racism dude also who cares doing people i don't really care people racism first of all i'm american yeah straight up so if you're raised to me because i'm italian same guess what i believe that doesn't mean anything i don't because i'm from these fucking livingston new jersey these colors don't run okay man even if i have to go to the bathroom really bad i'll just shit my pants i'm so american oh that's unrelated that's what they mean when they say these colors don't run they stand there and they walk to the bathroom really bad. I'll just shit my pants. I'm so American. Oh, that's unrelated. That's what they mean when they say these colors don't run. They stand there and they walk to the bathroom and if they shit themselves on the way, that's America.

All right, man. Yeah. And then they go and you shit and it smells so bad and somebody looks at you and they go, ew, and they go, I'm a patriot. So they can kiss my fucking ass. Are you a stupid? What are you, a commie? I'm on my way to the bathroom and I'm not running. These colors don't run. These colors don't run, but these pants do. Yeah, dude. What are you, a commie? I'm on my way to the bathroom. These colors don't run.

These colors don't run, but these pants do. Yeah, yeah. You're a communist walking to the bathroom. The craziest person on earth. Anyone who does that. You're a fucking communist. You know? Man. Bro, let me tell you something right now 43 years old 44 i'm 44 yeah and i can't wait

to be 45 because i'm still gonna be doing this kind of humor yeah and i'll tell you you're gonna be doing it when you're 75 you're damn right dude but um i this podcast is so good yeah and it's so fun and it's so funny yeah and everyone should subscribe and if you're not subscribed it's fucking it's bullshit yeah all right and share it with're not subscribed, it's fucking, it's bullshit. Yeah. All right. And share it with your friends, dude, because it's like enough is enough,

dude. Enough is enough. We did Lifeline Live and it was so bonkers, so great. You want to go to Patreon and get it, but like we want to do more and we're not going to do more,

you know, if it's not, if the show doesn't, you know. I mean, just went from having a blast to just shaming some people, you know.

Also people that are actually watching this or none of them are the people we're talking about. But they need to do the due diligence and give it to their friends. They do. Yeah, be a soldier. Right. Be a soldier.

Be a Lifeline soldier. Be a Lifeline soldier. Get someone you know to subscribe and then sign up for the Patreon. Be a Lifeline soldier boy. Or else, you're not a Lifeline soldier boy. Yep. Okay?

You want to be a Lifeline soldier boy? Lifeline soldier boy. And by the way, that's not gendered. You can be a girl and be a Lifeline soldier boy. Don't try to get us on a technicality. Soldier boy or soldier boy? Lifeline soldier boy. And by the way, that's not gendered. You can be a girl and be a lifeline soldier boy. Don't try to get us on a technicality. Soldier boy or soldier gal? No, soldier boy is just the term. It doesn't mean boy or girl.

I was just making a joke, dude. No, dude. Listen. All right. This is serious shit. All right, yeah. Let's do another one. Okay, another one.

Cute. Hi, Matt and Chris. My friends say I'm too into hamsters. It's a lie. Do you have hamsters when you're a kid? And do you think hamsters are rats? Okay, so... So cute.

Didn't know when that video was going to happen. I've never seen something more cute in my life. So I really want to be clear about this. And I'm not going to use bad language because hopefully your parents... Yeah, if you're going to see this. I'll see this and show it to you because we used your video. You are a special person you're extremely cute and no one should ever give you any grief or guff about loving hamsters it's totally normal to love hamsters as much as you love hamsters well yeah

are they rats i don't know no i don't i think they're different right they're different they're just they're aren't hamsters rodents i don't know they are They are. But they're not rats. But they're not rats. No, they're not rats. They're rodents though. I think that basically, she's saying like people like think that they're basically rats, but yeah.

We didn't have one, but I had friends that had hamsters and I used to love watching them go around in their wheel. It's just weird to have them any, here's the thing. You're at the age where you should have that.

Correct. If you're after like, you know, if you're 20 and age where you should have that correct if you're after like you know if you're 20 and have a hamster yeah i think get out of dodge i think okay so you're at the exact age when you're supposed to like hamsters so like the answers for you know how to take care of perfect right yeah but you know you don't want to be like getting into your late teens. Let's say still, if you let, if you're 16, okay,

you're okay. 17, you're getting into bad 18. You can't, you can't say 20 for 20 and you have a hamster. You're like, no one wants to be your friend. Oh dude,

I can. I got to go feed my hamster. You want to go ice blocking? Dude, I can't. You want to go to the bar? Yeah. Do you want to go vote for the

president oh man i can't i gotta go check out my hamster see if that water bottle that comes down and dips into his mouth is all full yeah know that thing hamsters the only problem with hamsters are their tails their tails are disgusting and that's how you know they are like rats and they look like rat tails you want to work though tail? And they also smell bad. Yeah, a lot of animals that shouldn't smell bad smell bad, like cats, like rabbits, dude. You ever smell a rabbit? Yeah, I smell a dirty rabbit. Dude, rabbits are filthy animals.

Yep. Or maybe even if they're not. A gangster. Rabbits are filthy animals. Yeah, filthy. So, yeah, no, I think that they're not... Are they rats I don't know

I don't know they're rodents man okay is that what we found out yeah okay yeah okay well holding his breath

hey yeah why are you talking like you're holding your breath dude yeah why are you talking you're holding your breath dude doing tantric exercises trying to stop from fucking jizz them trying to stop from busting dude yep oh god okay i came um

this uh it's funny dude how good is funny stuff bro god you are telling me man i don't there are people that just don't really laugh you know well no that okay yes yes that's one thing it to be a kind of person that's kind of just grumpy or grim whatever if you're the kind of person that is like no no no no no laughing now that's what sucks if. If you're the kind of person that is like, no, no, no, no, no, no laughing now, that's what sucks. If you just aren't the kind of person that's prone to laughing, that's how you are.

That's fine. But if you're like, I can laugh and I know what's funny, but no, no, no, we're not doing that now. Like we were listening to- Sayonara. Kristen read this book. I don't know what the hell it was,

but it was like some book that was like, she was like loved. And it was about like some beast man that like meets a woman and he has wings and claws, but it's like a race of beasts. A Tale of Two Cities. I think that's A Tale of Two Cities. Is it?

No, go ahead. And so, and they make love and she's like, the sex scenes are crazy. That sounds fucking sick. I'm like, oh, that sounds, I don't want to read that. She's like, the sex scenes are crazy. That sounds fucking sick, dude. I'm like, oh, that sounds, I don't want to read that. She's like, just read it. So I, you know, I had to read it. Oh.

I'm reading about this beast fucking this woman, you know? No way. That's just straight up erotic. Yeah, but it wasn't, it wasn't, it was like the only scene like that in the book. Oh. It wasn't like. I like this. What's the name of the book, dude?

I can't remember. But anyway, there's another, there's like a series of them. Oh. And like she, on the way home from Lifetime Live, she was like, she was like. Oh, wait, she was talking to me. Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was like, she goes, she says, we're listening to a case file.

You know what I mean? Like somebody's. Guys foil. Guys foil. Somebody's getting murdered and shit. And I'm listening. I'm into it. And she goes like this.

Switch the Apple Play over to me. And I say, I'm listening to a case file. Oh, dude. She goes like this. Bossing you. Dude, she goes like this, switch the Apple Play over to me. And I say, I'm listening to Case Bob. Oh, dude. She goes like this. Bossing you. Dude, she goes like this, trust me, she said. Oh, no.

And I said, I just want you to know, I'm going to record that. He said, trust me. Okay. Okay. She plays the audio book of the new book. There's a sex scene in the new book. She's like, listen to this.

Oh, well. And I say, you've lost. Trust me. Oh. i don't trust you would want that because you're interested in this i'm not i'm not so so now she's listening to it and it's the woman that's like in you know she's in the booth and she's like and then the beast yeah you know stuck his big beastly schlong inside my worst romance novel and so one of them she said that was when the that was when he um uh feasted on me like about eating you know going down that's erotica and i was like ew dude feast and she was like no it's gross if you say it like that i'm like it's gross anyway dude gross

as you say it like that that's how it was written if i was with if you were with a guy and they were like let me feast on you darling you'd be you dude you dry up and then she was like you always make everything funny like why can't we just listen to it and it's nice and i was like and then he said and then he said when he arrived at my entrance and i was like oh come on dude mcdonald's like dude it's just yeah so now i'm like dude if you were having sex with guy and he was like i can't wait to get inside your entrance and she was like i just want to listen and i was being funny but i was like did you don't get to do this yeah so we think about that what i think about that is she definitely doesn't get to do that with you she needs to know her audience dude you're the least you can do that with i would have a hard time doing that but if someone i was with was like

come on we listened to your thing can we just listen to mine without you like i would be like oh okay entrance bro and then if they said entrance no i would remain i would remain come on, we listened to your thing. Can we just listen to mine without you? Like, I would be like, oh, okay. Entrance, bro. And then if they said entrance, no. I would remain. I would remain. No, you're right. I wouldn't.

You would. I would pause it. There he was at my entrance. I would pause it and be like, I'm sorry. What the fuck? And talk about it. Yeah. He fucked his entrance.

He fucked her entrance. Did you have the common courtesy to pause it? No, because it was her phone. She had her phone. Oh, you couldn't pause it oh come on babe entrance feasting on her entrance kristen if you're listening that is such bad writing like she loves it feasting and the entrance thing is wildly shitty writing dude oh that was a huge book and i'm gonna call it that from now on sweetie what's up with your

entrance come to bed. You know, not how anybody would propose sexual anything. Exactly. But that's not what the writer. Okay. Anyway, I'm not going to defend the book. Okay. Anyway, I want to read that shit now.

What's it called? Entrance? I don't remember. Her entrance. Feasting on her entrance. I've arrived. Feasting on her entrance, dude. And if you're gay gay you go into the exit okay man

thanks for explaining that because of how it's poop if you're a gay man yeah if you're a gay woman you just your entrance on

your entrance on entrance entrance to entrance is the gay version two doors close together is the gay woman version rubbing entrances together rubbing entrances dude that's the

that's the female gay erotic rubbing entrances would be a movie that Liam Neeson did before he did Schindler's List and nobody knew who he was. Dude, young Liam Neeson? Young Liam

Neeson is the most dashing, handsome guy. I'm just going to go out and say it. Rubbing Entrance. And he was great in Rubbing Entrances. I noticed Two Doors. An actually Irish film. Yes, yes. I was going to say that, but I didn't. Be a romantic lead. I noticed Two Doors. actually Irish film. I know. Yes, yes. I was going to say that, but I didn't. Be a romantic lead.

I noticed two doors. Why are they so close together? Oh, no. There's an earthquake. Armpits. They're rubbing. It's a rubbing entrance. Wow, you know?

I mean, it's so sexy. A guy gets two points hotter when he puts his hands above his head and grabs something. God, that's so true, dude. Also, when he's on a stool, elbows on his knees leaning forward and looking up. Look at that. Rubbing true, dude. Also, when he's on a stool, elbows on his knees leaning forward and looking up.

Look at that. Rubbing entrance, dude. Rubbing entrances. It has to be two entrances. It can't be rubbing entrance. Yeah, okay. Look at him, dude, with no shirt on,

touching his eyebrow. Whoa. That was when I noticed I was rubbing entrances. I've got a special set of skills and what I do is I get one entrance. The vest.

And then I go over to another entrance. And I put them together. And then I just start robbing them. Wow. Look at the blue hat one. Look at the blue hat one. Look how fucking sick he looks in that. That's when he was in.

Dude, he looks so good. I've seen that. I've seen that picture before. Why? I don't know. Isn't that weird? Fucking weirdo. I've seen that picture before.

I look up young Liam Neeson sometimes. Dude, look how good he looks though. Peak male form, everybody. All right, dude all right right there no no you come on well all right all right that's enough liam neeson admiring for now all right we'll do one more what's up guys my shirt yeah i'm just gonna come out swinging here. Okay. Old people piss me off. Yeah. Well, I'm 33. I'm an introvert. I'm cynical.

I'm from the north. I live in the south. So this is probably a me problem. So many directions. But maybe someone else can understand. I work with a lot of old people, and I'm not saying 90 years old. I'm saying like 50s and 60s. And for some reason, all they want to do all day is talk to me.

Someone half their age that they have nothing in common with, and all they want to do is have small talk. And I'm not interested in that at all. I have my headphones in, making it very clear that I'm on my phone, watching your guys' podcasts every day on break. You're doing the right thing. And even on the floor, they're bothering me, talking to me. Why can't they just stick to their own age group?

That's not the solution. People would be like, well, they're lonely. They want someone to talk to. They have someone to talk to. They have 25 people their age. Why are they talking to me, someone half their age? I wouldn't be talking to someone half my age at a job or anywhere. I just want to know what to say to these older people that are constantly driving me crazy

because I don't see eye to eye with that generation, and I don't think they see eye to eye with me. So in my mind, that would make me avoid someone. So why are they attracted to me? I see it as like a Windows 98. It's outdated, it's slow, and it's not something I have any interest in being around. So anyway, is it me? What can I say to these people? First of all, also, Chris, thank you, man.

Oh, that's sick, dude. Okay. So first of all, that generation you're speaking of is Gen X. That is the greatest living generation. So you're fucking psychotic. I want to talk to everybody from Gen X. So I can't agree with you there but to your question dude if you have your headphones they'd just be like i can't i can't hear you and just keep walking dude like you have headphones

in you can that is such an easy out you can even pretend you're on the phone if you have headphones in yeah but they don't know that people that old don't even understand that's not true like that they're not like you said they're not 75 they're 15 60 jesus christ it's like we have a truth podcast or something wow um yeah i i i think that's weird that you don't like talking to them so much yeah well he said he's an introvert i guess i get that but then but yeah but he's not saying he's saying so if he worked with a bunch of other 33 year olds and they were talking to him he'd probably feel the same way yeah That's true. Yeah. No, no. He made it sound like.

That's what I'm saying. Yeah, you're right. You're right. Good point. Yeah. Good point, finally. It only took us 200 episodes. So I think that.

No, but so what I think is what you're saying is you just are an introvert and you probably wouldn't. I'm deducing. What I make up is that you probably don't like even 33-year-olds talking to each other. Probably, yeah. Talk to you, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's not an age thing. you you know yeah yeah so it's not an age thing so which means a it's you and that's fine by the way um i don't know what your job is

if your job is you know yeah i wish you specified yeah uh but if your job is talking to old people you're kind of fucked what are you i'm an old person talker and I hate it. And so, but if you're, you know, I don't know. Like if you work in an old person's home, yo, bro. You kind of need a new job.

Which is probably not because it's 50-60. Yeah, nobody. Yeah. That's what I'm going to check into an old person's home though. That's cool. 50 years old.

You'd be the most popular person there because everybody's like, oh, he's so youthful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? All the girls, all the guys

want to be your friend yeah yeah i'll just stand up for everyone yeah man hey what's the deal with um wrinkles oh wow you know what's up with mademuse guys you've been taking where's fucking material in history um yeah uh i'm torn with this guy because it's like i get it i kind of have intro i'm i'm not an introvert but like i understand wanting to be left alone trust me but dude you don't want to talk to gen x gen x is what's up yeah also if there's other obi-wan just introduce the person talking to you to another old person yeah it's like oh dave i'm sorry what was that hold on hold on whoa i'm going away i'm going away this guy's coming up whoa you guys are talking now okay bye we're talking about all right check it out, Martha, this guy takes my abusal

and then you leave. Talk about that. Yeah, just link them up. They're all around. Just put them together, dude. There you go. Yeah, there you go. There you go.

Yeah, I don't think that. You're basically just asking how to not, how to get out of a conversation, I guess, at the end of the day. Yeah, which is why you do the headphones thing. I don't i can't but he does have headphones but yeah he does have headphones in yeah so point to him be like i can't and then just back away dude that's fine no one's but if you're an introvert and you think these people are such fucking annoying why do you care about pissing them off or hurting their feelings i guess just don't fucking talk to them i get it I will say the

dude it happens to me a lot people they don't you are such a person that people want to talk to you like and you've always been like that no but I'm talking about strangers I know no I know how did you not know that's what he was talking about you mean I look approachable

that's the same thing and you are approachable and people approach you strangers as in strangers people approachable and people approach you. Yes. Strangers, as in strangers. But so- People you know don't approach you. This is different from what, I mean, he's saying I don't want to talk to these people. I'm fine talking to people.

I don't want to talk to people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But when I have headphones in, somebody will come up and then I'll go on the phone. Yeah, right, right. And then they keep talking. Oh, that's crazy.

I don't even get it. I'm just like, oh. And then I just turn around and walk. Yeah, well, see, that's the thing. You can do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's totally within, like, you're okay doing that. I do it when I don't even get it and i'm just not and then i just turn around and walk yeah well see that's the thing you can do that yeah yeah and that's totally within like you're okay doing that i do it when i don't even have headphones in oh sorry dude i'm on the phone yeah and also that's not even that unbelievable now i don't care that's a thing i look at people sometimes i'm like are they on

the phone or crazy yeah yeah because their shit the shit is so little now it's hard to even tell oh dude i'm on the phone man and then my phone rings so not on the phone my phone rings real loud oh dude i always pretend i'm on the phone and it. And then my phone rings. So not on the phone. And then my phone rings real loud. Oh, dude, I always pretend I'm on the phone, and it's my nightmare that I don't have the ringer off. Because I'll be like, oh, yeah, what was that? And it's like, brr, brr, you know? Sorry, call waiting. Just gets caught so hard.

I have a special phone. How about when someone takes a picture of you, and it's flash and shit? Oh, fuck. Oh, they got caught? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Happens to be a lot of people i just remember something what um i hate you guys i'm dying when the app when they

first introduced the app store right i got this app i paid for it like a dollar and it was like you could just you could set an amount of time like 10 or 30 seconds and then your phone would look like it's ringing and it would say barack obama oh i remember you had that i was with you until the obama part yeah that's terrible go go go obama wow it's just so silly thinking like what do you think people are gonna think when they see that the way like he's actually calling barack obama so you didn't even have to program barack obama in your phone i know man i don't remember i know you didn't have to program the actual Barack Obama in the phone. I think you could make it whatever you wanted.

I think that was like its default setting. I like that app. Except the Barack Obama part. You know what I have? Call me Liam Neeson. Young Liam Neeson. Oh, shit. Young Liam Neeson. I gotta go. With that picture where the blue hat pops up.

Alright. Alright, cool. This was a really great episode. I laughed a lot. Go on over. With that picture Where the blue hat Pops up Alright Alright cool This was a really great episode I laughed a lot Go on over It's not up yet But it will be Go on to the Patreon

Patreon.com And you'll see the Lifeline live show Which was great It was really fun to do And then And that'll come out soon And then

You go to Chrisley.com To get tickets I'll be in Chattanooga I'll be in Irvine I'll be in Charleston, West Virginia I'll be in chattanooga i'll be in irvine i'll be in charleston west virginia i'll be in uh australia des moines new zealand a bunch of different places new zealand

uh go on over chrisley.com thanks very much subscribe to my solo podcast the private record on youtube you love it uh you want to one-on-one go to mattalia.com and don't forget to buy every item of the merch at less than merch.com or you hate us it's up to you uh all right see you next week