Lifeline - 113. Our Mommy & Napoleon

Episode Date: June 9, 2024

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Let's go seize the night. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamex. Benefits vary by car and other conditions apply. Was born ready. Dude, I just saw Kerry Carpenter's on the disabled list, it's oh carrie carpenter yeah dude i just i just picked wow that's such a true thing that you carrie carpenter sounds like a babysitter that we would have had now isn't that interesting that you said that and i thought wow that's so true so unbelievably mad it's ridiculous do you remember our babysitter

named miffy what does she look like blonde with a fake uh white mink jacket yeah she's the one who had the friend that hypnotized you yeah dude that was crazy she didn't hypnotize us you know no she did that's why you are the way you are and that's why i'm different because that's not true at an early age the most basic hypnotized joke well i knew you'd like that oh damn it i broke this thing that's okay yeah i did like it look at this why did you know i would like it look at this okay magic wine is it bitch to drink it like a little oh yeah dude what do you mean is it look how little it is yeah but if you have to go like

this with something it doesn't matter what it is yeah you do that with your penis gotcha oh he's on one today so anyway uh look man you're gonna want to get lifeline luxury patreon.com slash lifeline luxury because we are releasing we are releasing uh or we know we have released the live show on Patreon. So go check it out right now. It's awesome. It's absolutely awesome. It's the best episode of Lifeline in the history of Lifeline. Shot at the Irvine Improv,

and we're probably going to do some more here. So do that. And then also get your tickets at crystalia.com. For me, I go to Australia and uh i will be there soon and now oxnard i have dates in oxnard anyway um and then matt's got a podcast private it's called private records so subscribe to that doesn't cost nothing just like jlo's love and um if you got a question hit the description below or go to watchlifeline.com. If you want a one-on-one advice session with Matt, go to mattdalia.com. And if you want to get the merch, which is really cool.

I was wearing it the other day. It's lifelinemerch.com or you can go to my website. But it's... I'll tell you guys something. A lot of you have done the one-on-one sessions with me and I didn't know what to expect. I've been doing it long enough now it's legitimately fulfilling for me wow so thank you to everybody who's done that i know a lot of you obviously watch the show and well that found out from this sociopath or

psychopath then is that what that means it points to it probably well you have this bass pro shops is an old one uh i don't know best pro shop hats are in now not that one oh really yeah and it's like so slamming me so hard and it's annoying not that one no with that it's good though that not that one oh it's always the the same one and all these bros have it really yeah and you're up and so you're brought up i want to know how close to being a bro i am when you see it you'll understand you've seen it you know okay yeah um but that one's way i've never seen that one that is it a vintage one oh oh oh dude yeah i know these of course exactly the trucker hat told you yeah yeah told you this is definitely i got this just at a shop i was looking for some sweatpants when i was in florida mad lib

i was looking for sweatpants when i was in florida because i flew to florida i had nothing comfy to sleep in i went to a thrift shop. So you got a hat to sleep in? Cool. I got some sick sweatpants, but I was like, show me the hat. It was all high up.

Show me the hat. A game show. Show me the hat. Show me the hat. Ding. And now you're looking at it. So hold on. Is it a vintage one?

Yeah. Well, it was a thrift store. Disgusting to wear a vintage hat, by the way. Pretty much. It's kind of, if you think about it, disgusting to wear anything that is vintage. Except for people wash clothes and they don't normally wash hats. Oh, I washed the hat before I put it on. Right.

I understand. But to think about the fact that that wasn't upkept washing and there might be like some deep, deep disease in it that's not something i know if you know what i mean i know but i'm saying still wouldn't stop thinking about it thank you very much next so you'd be wearing it thinking i have diseases on my head yeah i mean i wouldn't be wearing it but yeah i don't wear hats i'm not a hat guy yeah we know and i and and and i and i i don't know i don't know how somebody wears a hat all the time because it's so uncomfortable. I wear hats as much now as I did when I was a teenager.

I went like 20 years never really wearing hats. I tell you what, I wear the most hats of anybody in the world. And no, I really came around on hats. I really like wearing them now. But I don't wear them every day, and I agree with you. There are some guys that just have a hat on every day. Mexicans. Okay.

Mexicans do that. And it's fine. It's not racist, but they just do that. But bros do that too, dude. Like the backwards hat. Yeah, it's true. White bros in Arizona and Mexicans. Yeah.

Yeah, okay. There we go. Somebody in Arizona will wear a hat. Bros are bros all the time in Arizona. In Scottsdale, they'll wear hats in the pool. It's crazy. Oh, for sure. Dude, when somebody wears a hat in the pool, I get riled up, dude.

How about in Vegas? You go to like those party days in Vegas by the pool and there's like 75 guys in the pool. 80% of them have backwards hats on. I get riled up, dude. You just don't wear a hat in the pool. Only wear a swimsuit in the pool 80 of them have backwards hats on i get riled up dude you just don't wear a hat in the pool only wear a swimsuit in the pool if you're fat don't wear a shirt dude if you're fat just be fat in the pool do not wear a shirt we all know you're fat okay and and and don't wear a hat just wear a swimsuit dude if you want to wear a regular trunks cool if you want to wear speedo cool but do not wear anything but that i get riled up what riles you about it you think they're trying to hide it

yeah we know what you're doing but they're just insecure dude so i'm insecure too and what do you do about it i still go out there and i rock my shit but you're not a fat man no i know but i get insecure about other things and what do you do about those things i don't know but i get riled up and don't rile me up when i'm at the pool at the bellagio do you know what i mean and i'm riled up at the w in scottsdale if i'm at a pool in vegas i'm already riled up because everyone is too close it's gross dude i every once in a while i don't really go to vegas anymore but when i would i would always be in my room and then there'd be this crazy chaos sound on Saturday morning.

I would look down and there would be like 400 people at the pool, in the pool, just like being drunk already at 10 a.m. It's disgusting, dude. And everybody looks like they're having fun. They're lying. That's not fun. Well, they're on drugs. If you're on drugs, yeah, I guess. Oh, I guess.

Yeah, it's weird at like 1 p.m. to be just, I don't know. having fun they're lying that's not well they're on drugs if you're on drugs yeah i guess but i yeah i don't yeah it's weird at like 1 p.m to be just i don't know i don't really have fun period unless i'm at home i don't have fun until like 5 p.m if i'm out there's no if i'm like 1 p.m if i'm out i can't like no no no no but i'm saying even if i'm out i can't do it it's like not fun it's weird i'm like what am i doing i feel like a vampire i feel like i step in the sun too long i'm gonna go you know that might happen it won't i need to get a suntan though i'll tell you that much you've been you actually look a little bit more like got a little bit more colored i might have been outside a little bit i can't remember but it's so close to the vest not much

you know you never know. No, you look significantly less white than you usually do. Really? Yeah, for sure. Do you guys agree? Like he's got some color for real. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's agreement?

There's agreement in the house. Wow. Okay. Well, I guess I'm just doing it. You're a tan guy, dude. I'm a tan? Thanks. You're a tan out of tan.

I'm tan out of 10 so uh yeah anyway but so we're you know this is great and the lifeline luxury the lifeline uh live was was so fun i know i keep talking about it but it was so fun but that's how fun it was you keep talking about things that are fun you know i'm saying it's in the middle of summer we're in the middle of summer you know it's june 9th right um what are your summer plans mine yeah mine are to not feel so hot i'm gonna do what i can to stay not very very hot which frankly means not being outdoors very much that's great plans man my my big summer plans are to not be very very hot really fun yeah

it's gonna be a blast dude oh there's a fly in the studio idiot never had that okay wow i mean it flew away patronizing it flew away so it's gone learning english what are you doing there's a fly in the studio wow it flew away um i i am i'm going to australia and then i got like dude that's so sick when you're going i think i have hawaii too um it's hawaii no hawaii i don't hawaii is not something i say i don't do that because i'm not on the mainland any people on the mainland can do it yeah but or on in hawaii but anytime someone is like from if you're from texas and and you're like Hawaii, you're a piece of shit. You know that, right? Hawaii?

Yeah. Like that dude that we used to know that said Mercedes, and we were like, dude, it's Mercedes. He's like, no, that's how you say Mercedes in German. I was like, who gives a shit? We're in fucking Thousand Oaks. At that point, we were in Sacramento, but yeah. Yeah.

He said, you know, it's actually called Mercedes, and we're like, oh, we don't care. Yeah. We want people to think that we don't, you know what I mean? Like, take cocks up her ass, you know you know well that's not even really what it is what it is yeah is anyone you say mercedes to will think one of two things you're a giant asshole or they'll say what yeah or you take it up you know i don't want to say it that seems to be the third option

yeah um you go like oh god yeah oh did you go did you did you drive here in a mercedes so stupid anyway oh yeah all over oh yeah um so um anyway dude well you want to go to a submission yeah okay um here it is okay gents well so i was just at a hotel breakfast buffet one guy probably at his late 50s coughing and sneezing into hand, picking at his nose and wiping it on a napkin. Then he goes up to the buffet again, touching shared utensils and stuff. What would you have done? I'd consider publicly scolding him or helping out his cough with adjacent state and throat punch or even just communicate with him using death stares. Oh, okay.

By the way, we're in Geneva and he was speaking Pouet-en- and he was speaking so we're both outside our cultural context but i figure the past few years should have taught everyone something about nasopharyngeal hygiene i mean what do you reckon robot chris i'm gonna miss your down under tour this year as i'm traveling too but uh the first one was awesome oh thanks and i just want you to remember how to ask why spanish oh no one knows oh elevator where's the elevator got it because that was a was awesome oh thanks and i just want you to remember how to ask elevator donde esta why spanish oh no one knows oh elevator where's the elevator got it because that was a bit i did seems like a really sweet guy yeah he does that's disgusting that is absolutely disgusting and i'll tell you something very few kinds of things like upset me more like in terms of just things that

happen in public on the semi-regular because people are often sneezing and not covering up and coughing and just being gross about where they're coughing uh and i was i've always been like covid knock it has nothing to do with that since covid it's not worse yeah no just don't do that period don't do that just in 11 yeah don't yeah exactly When you're a kid, you're taught how to do these things. And you're basically a caveman or a cavewoman. You're a cave person if you knew that. Who was the Mrs.

I had a teacher, Mrs. Amatrudi? Or was that? That does not ring a bell. No. Yeah, Mrs. Amatrudi. That's what it was. What a name. In New Jersey.

Okay. And she made people bring in uh kleenex and and we would have to have them on our desk and if we sneezed we'd have to grab the kleenex and sneeze in the kleenex and if we didn't use the kleenex she would say you didn't use your kleenex wow yep how have i never heard of that story i don't know actually how old what grade what like what um it was probably like fifth or sixth in new jersey wow you didn't use your kleenex dude how about the fact that i spent all school year there yeah and i have like one memory of it and that's it well so what school were you even at north mount hebron do you went to mount hebron

for one year so it was sixth grade oh that's so weird we had such different lives yeah i never even set foot on mount hebron man yeah what a life what a life you've led well yeah i mean it's you know but uh and then people will go achoo And she'd be like, now what? Now you're going to shake someone's hand and they're going to get your germs. Great. What a great teacher. Right. I know.

But I just, it was a lot. And she was, it was, nobody liked her. It sounds like she was a germaphobe, which is not great. But that's disgusting. Where is he? Where did he say he was? He was in Geneva, he said. Where's that?

Geneva, Switzerland? Like at the convention? Wow. You know? Like it's, Switzerland? Like at the convention? Wow. You know? Like it's a place. At the Geneva convention? What is that? Asia?

Asian? No, man. It's in Switzerland. I know. Geneva. But he said he obviously is not from Geneva. Yeah. And he said somebody, did he say he was speaking Vietnamese?

I forget what he said. He said someone was speaking something else. I don't know what he said he was saying. Yeah. i forget what he said he said someone was speaking something else i don't know what he said he was saying yeah it sounded like he said was an asian thing yeah it was yeah uh asian people kind of just sneeze on people and you know what it's wow i know not not american asian people asian dude you ever see the things with like on public transportation they just smash in there and they're just in there and they're just sneezing all over everyone i have seen the sardine they can't even they they don't go like they're such in sardine subways that they can't move their hands if they have a runny nose they

just go like this on someone else and wipe it on their other shoulder you know what that's interesting what do you do if they don't they don't have like that kind of and it's fine those videos are scary to me and you might god and you might be like chris that's racist but it's just a fact and then also uh what is what is the thing you are saying that is racist though they sneeze on each other yeah they don't they don't they don't um their spatial awareness is different because they just think it's like not a big deal because they're always packed as sardines like this that i believe yeah sure yeah uh and uh. And also, anytime you think that I'm racist and I say something racist, just know that also, and this is very true, and I've thought about this before. No matter what I'm saying about a certain race, if they're doing it, also old white people also do it. It doesn't matter what it is.

Old white people also sneeze and don't give a fuck where they are or who it's on. And it's always all old white people. Dude, take a look. I say Mexicans wear hats. I say Mexicans wear hats, right? Didn't I just say that on this podcast, right? I think you did. I think I did, right?

Okay. Also, old white men wear hats for no reason. It's also old white. So if you think I'm being racist, just remember, I know also old white people do it too so thank you very much so if you ever thought that don't forget chris also thinks whatever he said about that particular race of people yeah he also believes that old white men do it yeah or or women sometimes women women as well okay sometimes women but not that hat thing but yeah anyway uh so so yeah so that's disgusting and i what would i do i would be like hey hey that's disgusting i would have to say something i would say that i would have to i sneezed all

over the stuff huh i would i don't know if i would say that oh i would i would say something like can you like go over there if you're gonna do that like i would say that would upset me so much i couldn't not say something it would it would it would it would i would be bothered about myself the rest of the day if i didn't say something interesting yeah um yeah it's just that's that's that's disgusting dude i was at a when i was a teenager i was at a baja fresh once and some kid i love baja fresh stories some kid was sticking his hand in the salsas how old was a kid like four oh but the parent was with them you go break the parents dude i know and the parent said nothing oh that dude said nothing bro and i was like what do i do now i would have called

into this show about that i didn't even know i was like frozen but also I was still a kid so I didn't really had any of the development fury and things like that I looked at Calvin's fingernails the other day he was playing with Play-Doh and I looked at his fingernails at the end of the day and it was just like Play-Doh all in his fingernails

and I was like I gotta get this out and he was like why and I was like oh you just have to I have to cut your fingernails and I cut his fingernails and i was like i gotta get this out and he was like why and i was like oh you just have to i have to cut your fingernails and i cut his fingernails and um actually i think that's the end of the story that was the worst story that anyone i was gonna say you have ever told but nobody could tell a worse story yeah but how fascinating was it that i told that for no reason and and if you really think about it i i i'm i'm i'm showing you something and and it was very quick this story so it's okay but like yeah yeah fascinating that i told that oh yeah okay i'm glad uh you think so yeah it's bad it was a bad story and fascinating that I just fired it out there. Well, okay.

All right. Well, let's do another one then. Okay. Hey, guys. I'm on my lunch break right now for work. I'm a teacher's assistant. Cool. That has nothing to do with my question.

Okay. So, anywho, what I've been thinking about lately, and it comes and goes, but it's back. So, I'm like, let me see what they think about this. It's back. So I'm like, let me see what they think about this. I noticed that like, I really take on other people's like. Identities. Mannerisms or like little quirks.

With that being said, like I feel confident in who I am. And I feel like I'm being myself. But I do notice that I'll like say something the same way like one of my friends says it. Or like this phrase that someone I know honestly, it even happens like listening to you guys like I'll start picking up on little like tones that you do or whatever and then it's like am I still being myself like is that normal like to kind of like I almost feel like like my friends and like people I watch or like spend time with like all become like a little like part of me yeah but then like am i still me it's a deeper but like do you know what

i mean oh yeah i think that might be my very favorite submission ever on the show what that that is such a good specific thing that i think plagues people of a certain kind of mindset that people don't often put out in the world because they think even uttering it is some kind of admission that they're something negative so you like that it's vulnerable a little bit it is but i what i love most about is that she's not in the way she's asking it she clearly understands that it's not it doesn't it's nothing negative about her whether it does make her less herself quote unquote or not uh no but i feel strongly about this because all of my and i'm sure yours too uh life people that i've been close to tend to to to one degree or another,

sometimes an insane amount, sometimes just very little and subtle, take on either like the way I talk or certain things that I say. It is weird. And a handful of times it's happened the other way around. I meet someone that is like so sort of like

their presence is so, I don't know, vibrant that I take on some of their qualities, but none of this has anything to do with who you are. All we are in general is an amalgamation of the things that we've come across that have stuck with us and we've taken in. Like you're not less you just because you were raised by your parents, whoever they are, and they instilled the values in you that they decided to instill in you.

All that is, is who you are. It doesn't mean that you're just some like carbon copy of them or some soldier of theirs. Like all we are, are the things we pick up along the way before we die. Honestly, that never happened to me. I don't ever get influenced by anything period i never do not for nothing but then you're talking like that because oh i watched this that um last night the sopranos prequel was on well that thing is bad by the way is it yeah what? Yeah. What the fuck? Many Saints in New York.

I don't know. Yeah. Did you really watch it? No. Okay. No, all for the joke, huh? Yeah. You know what I mean?

Not for nothing. The whole nine, it was on. I didn't watch it. The whole nine. Not for nothing. But what do you think? Yeah, I mean, dude. But do you think less of someone?

No, dude. But do you think less of someone? No, no. If you look at Larry David's comedy, it's a little bit like Seinfeld's comedy. And it's because they've been friends for years, you know? And it's just how it happens. So even original people who are deemed as like original people do it, you know? Yeah. Look, a lot of people come to my shows they talk like me they've they're at the meet and greet they'll do that you know or like us or whatever we do the and and then and then we got a lot of what we got from our you know dad and uncle vinnie and

uncle richard and and our mommy and don't forget our mommy and napoleon and so um and our mommy and napoleon yeah our mommy and napoleon Yeah, but I say them because they're guys. Okay. You know what I mean? Like, if you're a guy, you mostly model yourself after guys. No, I just mean, I think she's talking about unintentional things you pick up. Oh, okay. Not modeling on purpose.

It's like- Yeah, yeah, no, I understand. Listen, I understand. Not for nothing, I think it's mostly if you're a guy, it happens when you're hanging around guys, right? And if you're a woman, you're hanging around women. You're hanging around people with balls between their legs. Exactly.

When you're a woman, you don't hang out with people with bolts. It's the most Italian-American thing to add a T after the two L's and before the S. Bolts. Bolts. My bolts were sagging so heavy. Hey, you're breaking my bolts. Yeah. But not for nothing, yeah.

The whole nine. Anyway, I just really like that. I also like her. She had a great vibe. Yeah, she's definitely cool. The answer is no. You're not less you just because you start talking like people that you're around sometimes.

Also, sometimes it's like, sometimes you're like, oh, I like the way that person does that. It's better than the way I do it. Why would you not just do it? You're not like copying them. Thank you. You're taking what's available

and just improving yourself. Thank you. But yeah, but be rich though, you know? What? Be rich. Be rich? No, dude, that's bad advice. Be original.

It puts pressure on people to have to be original. I know, dude, I'm joking. Okay, man. How am I supposed to know? All right, dude. That's bad advice. Be original. It puts pressure on people to have to be original. I know, dude. I'm joking. Okay, man. How am I supposed to know? All right, dude. Kevin of Play-Doh under his nails. All right.

You want to do the next one? Such a crazy person. So dark. Hey, Chris. Hey, Matt. I have a quick question for you. Sometimes when my wife and I, she's the one laughing over there, are about to watch TV, we have a little snack.

And that's fine. You have a little snack when you watch TV. Oh, so mad. But the snacks that my wife chooses to eat are the loudest snacks. And not only that, but when she goes to open the snacks, she waits until right when we start the show. Because she's a woman. She'll have an ice cream sandwich and she'll wait until right when she starts it.

And then she'll open it with the crinkly crinkle crinkle wrapper or she'll have popcorn crinkle crinkle in the metal bucket for things or she'll have a large bag of chips with your crinkle crinkle crinkle bag

and it's always the loudest things to eat when I'm trying we're trying to watch the show and you're trying to hear the dialogue and you can't because crunch

or crinkle this guy's great so what do you think should there be certain snacks that are not allowed when you're watching shows together? Or am I just the asshole? Thanks.

No. For one thing, you are flaming hot furious when he took that video. He was so unbelievably angry. Well, he obviously took it when it's happening. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, I, dude, I was watching a show the other day and Jerrica came in and was like, what are you watching?

And I said it, whatever. I don't remember what it was. Nothing, nothing. But, and, uh, she was standing there for a little bit. She had a bag of like, whatever the most crinkly bag is like for like it was for like rice cakes or something and she and we're watching and and she starts rolling up the bag like like she's done with it like oh well that's a crazy thing i realize it's happening and i'm watching i'm like surely this wraps up so soon yeah yeah because she, yeah. Because she knows what's happening.

Dude, it kept happening. She was doing it so slow that I, like a movie, because I wanted it to be like a movie since it was being so dramatic, I go like this. While it's happening, it's still happening. And I look at her and she goes like this. And then she goes like this. And I'm looking at her and I'm like, she must feel me i look at her and she goes like this and then she goes like this and i'm looking at her and i'm like she must feel me looking at her and she goes like this oh wow that's hilarious it was a movie yeah dude that's why dude was it last night was a movie what was it just mindless she wasn't thinking about yeah yeah of course she

she knew she was like oh my god what am I doing? Right, right, right. But it was so funny the way it happened. But yeah, dude, I mean, women tend to talk only when you're watching movies, when the dialogue is being spoken. Now, that is true. What I was going to say about the first part, about the crinkly bag and the loud crunching. Sorry, everybody.

I do that. I hate that I do it, but I do it. And when I'm about to do it, I do the thing. What? I make the loud. What do you mean, what? There's only, literally only one thing we're talking about. But you do it so quickly, though.

Right? No, I'm saying I fuck it up and I do it. Oh, you do. But here's the thing I do. I say to myself, I say, this is going to be loud, but I don't give a fuck. Oh. You know? I think typically.

If I go like this, say I'm gonna open a bag. He says something, she says something, he says something, she says something, she says something, they do an action. Right, I try to do that. Yeah, I do, I do, I do. But the next one that you said, what did you say? The talk, right when the guy's gonna talk,

the character's gonna- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I never do that. Dude, I say to Kristen, like there'll be a whole scene. It's crazy. It's crazy. Of like an airplane flying, an exterior shot of an airplane flying. Talk all you want.

And another airplane is chasing it. That's the scene. And it's like a minute and a half. And then just... Then it will cut inside the airplane and it'll be like we're rolling over and and chris is like do you know it like yeah right yeah and i'm like talk when they're the fucking outside of the airplane it's insane dude that's wild that that that is just yeah wow but yeah i dated i dated someone once she was so bad at that that it made watching

anything with her like a fraught experience because i would be thinking oh she's gonna talk when this guy opens his mouth and she just fucking would and i even talked to her i was like listen why do you why don't you and then you sound like such a dick there's no way why don't you talk between when other people are like when the characters are talking. Yep. And then when you say that. And this is an eye roll and you're just like,

oh God, you're so this. And I'm like, okay, well maybe I am, but still answer the question. I have a question. Is,

what do you think, what would you call this? What would you call doing this? What would you call it is? Um. Would you say, here's my question. would you count that as an eye roll oh that's a good question yep i think it is a good question i don't think i would but if someone did i wouldn't be like no no no no i would understand what they meant. Right. I wouldn't call them out. So, okay. So, this is an eye roll, right? I would call it a sigh.

Okay. So, this is an eye roll, right? Yeah. Who does that? Nobody, right? Nobody actually goes like this. I do that. No, I don't do that.

But I'll like behind someone's back go. Okay. Let me think. Let me think of it. Yeah, okay. Yeah, right? Yeah. So, who does...

Okay. So, this is not an eye roll because Kristen does that and I say, don't roll your eyes. And she says, I'm not rolling my eyes. She's getting you on a technicality. It's not fair. It's not fair, right?

But she's right. But it's not fair. Right, but it's not fair. Because you know what I'm saying. Of course, yeah. Oh, fuck yeah, got out of that one. Wasn't in anything at all. I was in one and i got out of it wasn't uh houdini uh wait but just call it a sigh then you won't have to deal with you don't have to sigh follow yeah okay yeah but then she'll

be like well i can sigh when i want it's not it doesn't sound negative she can also eye roll when she wants but it's like a sigh at someone is is you're communicating displeasure what they've done yeah don't communicate displeasure don't don't say that don't or don't be exasperated what's the why are you so exasperated don't communicate why do you have to express exasperation why do you express exasperation that's exactly right you're duplicating what is it why are you expressing exasperation that's really good thank you okay got out of that one all right next one yeah yeah yeah matt so chris this is kelton coming to you from Oklahoma. Life fucking rips.

Oh my God, Matt. Anyways, I'll get right to it. I'm a valet attendant. Go back. Start with this fucking guy I didn't even see. I didn't see because I was doing it. Dancing. He had a reason to have his arm up.

Matt, so Chris, this is Kelton coming to you from Oklahoma. Life fucking rips. Oh, awesome. Look at that. That's a good one. Anyways, I'll get right to it. I'm a valet attendant. Works for a casino. Okay. Get fucking rips. Anyways, I'll get right to it. I'm a valet attendant. Works for a casino. Get in the bag.

Anyways, we have to ask these guests or customers what their last name and phone number is before we can even valet their car. Now, some people are regulars and they already know what's up. They will already come out of their car. Davis, D-A-V-I-S, before I

even say, what's up? Hey, how we doing? Right. And then right after they get done spelling the name, there comes the number. Yeah. So what's a good spin move I can do to get them to shut the fuck up, hold it. I got this. I work here.

Let me know. And also I'm a tall 5'7". Oh, good for you. Oh, wow. So short. So he wants to. I think he skipped a part when he's really saying, when people are like, why do you need that?

No, I think he's saying... Okay, yeah, maybe I'm wrong. Well, what he said was he... When people step out, when regulars step out, they say, hey, Davis, this is my number. And he's like, hold up. I work here. I'll... that's what he said right oh but which i don't chime in i think he's saying i don't know what he's saying i think he's saying

for the regulars they're saying the names but he he wants them to know that he knows yes that's what i thought that's what i thought that's what i thought but good. But that's not even a thing to ask us. Just be like, yeah, thanks. I got it. Right? I don't understand the problem. This is one of those things that your hands are tied. I think you can't do anything.

Here's why. Here's why. It happens too quickly, and to preempt it would be to potentially put your job on the line. But also just, hey, what's up, Davis? How you doing? Right when they come out with the thing, if you're fucking so smart. He did it. If you're so smart.

You did it. Hey! Mr. 4, 2, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 5. You didn't say the number really loud? Preempt anything and say, hello, Mr. Yeah, if you're so fucking smart, Mr. Tall57, come out. Yeah.

Hey, you know? Yeah. You're going to get it wrong too. That's the thing. One of these days you're going to get it wrong. But if you're so confident, start it. Say, hey, Mr. Davis, whatever the fuck. Yeah.

And you're good. They won't say it then. What I thought he was going to say, say it then what i thought he was gonna say it was like probably what you thought guys i thought i was gonna say people said why do you need my number totally because that's what i would do if somebody if i was gonna go to valet and i pulled up gave the guy my keys and the guy said what's your last name and phone number i'd say what what do you need that for you would uh yeah dude but you know what you know what they need it for my last name why because because they want if you're a guest they put it under the last name it's a casino though

oh yeah but that's why it's because of it's because there's hotels in there oh and then and then i would say no i'm not staying here and then the number is so you can get a text for the number is fine okay i don a text for... The number is fine. Oh, okay. I don't care about giving my phone number. So it's your last name? Yeah. Home address? Basically, yeah. Social security number?

Home address, penis size? Penis size. Whoa, for me, it'd be, whoa, we don't have that. We need more paper. Whoa. Because they'd have to be... Because it's... Because you got to do.0000000000000000001.

Because it starts with a number and then there's so many zeros. Ah zero zero one that was a really good slam oh thanks but it's not true hell yeah dude nice i knew anthony laughed but i didn't hear it when you were laughing because it was loud so that's good good. That counts as two points. Has such a crush on Anthony. The amount you check if he laughs or not is crazy. Because he's the only one I can't see his mouth. Has a crush on Anthony. Wants to see his mouth all the time. I'd love to see his mouth, dude.

No, because everyone else, I could see their mouth. I know when you're laughing. I know when Marco's laughing. I can't see when Anthony's laughing because I can't see his mouth i'd love to see his mouth dude no because everyone else i could see their mouth i know when you're laughing i know when marco's laughing i can't see when anthony's laughing because i can't see his mouth and then you know tasting ice cream so um all right we'll do another one i guess won't we yeah so british soft life line walking home and you're in. Thank you for coming to talk. Pause. Pause. What are any of the words you just said? I genuinely didn't get one.

It's like I'm listening to Forrest Whitaker. I literally did not catch one of those words. That was fascinating. It was impressive, yeah. This is what he did. Lep. Sibidin. Shim.

Love it. One L love. yeah this would be like let's save it in shim love it when i love started that was unbelievable let's see how much okay okay let's try it for for a soft lifeline walking home and you're in thank you pause thank you konto okay editor in what's an editor i don't know Then he didn't say that. The first thing I didn't understand. Me neither, but. Then he said walking home.

He said sup calling us something. Sup. Sup, Floody Pads. Walking home. Editor in. Contos. What? What did he say?

Start over again. Start over. We got to keep going until we get it. Sup, Floody Pads. I'm walking home and you're in thank you for coming to thank you for contact okay thank you for contact why did he say that i don't know why did he say we're talking about uh smelling your own schism oh my god oh my god and curious do you ever taste your own schism because close but. Hardest to wear

hollows. What bro? And I really want to like I really want to do it in front of the girl because like they're super exposed to it and I uh think it's gross but

I want us to be together in the experience.burg Rooms. Do you ever do that? Or do you think it's supposed to just be a girl thing? Is it supposed to be a nobody thing? Theme. What's up? Bro.

Your voice is so interesting. Is he swallowing his tongue? I don't understand he's okay this is what i thought he said when you ejaculate he wants to taste it with his girl i is that what he's saying i'll be i'm sorry but is that the theme he's saying i'll be honest i i don't really really don't know what he said. Okay, let's watch it again. I don't want to watch it again. I think it's worth it.

I think people at home will be like, oh, wait, I want to hear it again. I don't know. Go ahead. So I think the first part, what he's saying, he's saying, I'm walking at home, and he points to his earbuds. He's like, and they're in.

Thanks for the content or something. Thanks for the content. Thanking us for the content. Thanks for the content. Thanking us for the content. Thanks for the content. Okay. That makes more sense. Okay. All right.

Let's try again. Soft lifeline. Walking home and you're in. Thank you for coming to. Wow. We're talking about

smelling your own chism. Just so drunk. He is. Do you ever taste your own chism? No. First of all, no. Close. Bye. Hardest to wear holos. So drunk. Jairus, do you ever taste your own jism? No.

Close. Hardest to wear hollows. So drunk. I think he's going to throw up. I really want to do it in front of the girl because they're super exposed to it and I think it's gross.

But I want us to be together in the experience. Who? Do you ever do you ever do that? What do you think? What's on secure? Is it supposed to just be a girl thing?

Is it supposed to be a nobody thing? A nobody thing? Dude, why is he hiking drunk? What is a nobody thing? like he's saying phrases that are he's like he's an alien this guy's an alien dude dude he's so close to getting phrases and terms right but he's just not getting them right okay over and over this is unbelievable that we don't even understand he's just so drunk hiking and he's is it a nobody theme. I really think it's gross. But I want to expose it.

I want to do it with her. I want us to be together. I want us to be together. Dude, he wants to kiss her with his semen on his mouth. That's what he's saying. He is? Yeah. Wow, I didn't hear any of that.

Honestly. Really? Yeah, dude. I'm having a real hard time. You think he could be talking about moving? He's talking about jism and tasting it. That's all I got, though. What is he talking about?

I want to do it together? What the hell are you talking about? You're trying to think about a drunk guy, but I think he's saying, is it a nobody thing? I think what he means is, should I just not do that? Whatever you're proposing, don't do that. Well, I mean, unless she wants to do it and he wants to do but he said he thinks it's gross exactly it sounds like he wants to do make a girl do something gross and no or do something gross in front of her so that she can be like ill gross none of those

things maybe that or sounds like the girl wants to do something and he thinks it's gross well i didn't get that anyway yeah yeah well yeah i mean you can't this guy is just like the girl wants to do something and he thinks it's gross well i didn't get that anyway yeah yeah well yeah i mean you can't this guy is just like the doll but but but what okay so you got something good well so i i think what he said was uh he wants i think what he's saying is that he wants his girl to feel comfortable with swallowing his jizz. And so he wants to do it with her to make her feel comfortable. Oh, okay. Well, we got a real translator over here.

That is... What if you look and Chris was so drunk and that's how he got it? He just had a bunch of empty bottles around him. And I think that's what he's saying. So here's the thing. the whole thing is just is just a massive no i'll tell you i'll tell you don't think about this right yeah it's so weird to be drunk with a backpack on if you think about it it's so it's so crazy everything he's doing in

this video the first thing he says is sup flam flam take it over stop the video right then and start it again dude you start a video saying sup flam flam like dude begin again it's it's like he has no self-conscious i respect that part he's just like didn't think at all about how he might have come across and just fucking shot it off right away. To do that about this inquiry is hilarious. He was in such a hurry to get this question into the show, he couldn't take another take. Really interesting.

Despite not understanding a fucking word he said, I really do find this guy extremely interesting. Because how can you give a whole submission where I understand eight percent of the words yeah and you're and you're speaking english yeah um you know i don't know no it's just it's just i for such a terrible submission i it was really fascinating fascinating on its face technically it was a bad submission right but boy did we have fun we had a lot of fun okay so really that's all that matters so thank you so thanks for that one yeah thanks no next one hey matt hey chris love you both my question is about how to not turn into

the grumpy old lady because that's what's happening yeah i've always been a critical person but it always sort of balanced out with you know humor and just being dumb sometimes or outgoing it always just sort of worked out and it was cute when i was younger but i'm getting older now i'm 30 and 30 i don't i think it's starting to not get cute when everyone like has a experience. And I'm the one that's like, oh, God, that lineup. Or, I don't know, oh, the traffic was horrible. Or, oh, God, waiting in the airport. Like, if I was the one who had gone to stagecoach and had to stand for five hours, oh, my back would have been wrecked.

My back would have been wrecked. My back would have been wrecked. And I'd have been the one in the car who's just like, let's get to the hotel. I would have yelled at my wife too if she'd given me wrong instructions. I would have yelled at her too. Anyways, how do I not turn into a preppy old person? I accept the guess.

Well, she's right. I would say actually probably 30 is like the cutoff of it's not cute anymore. And not that you're an old person. Oh, sure. But like once you start complaining over 30, it's like, dude. Shut up. You know, deal with life better.

Yeah. So I would agree with her that she's entering that territory. But I would also say the fact that she's even become aware of it already. Oh, yeah, yeah. Way ahead of a lot of people is so such a good sign in terms of your outlook of not remaining some grump or becoming some grumpy old person yeah like grumpy old people never have the thought you know should i stop being so crabby and like shitty to everybody around me they never think that they're just i'm fuck everybody i'm the way i am and that's it

you know yeah i think that i i i am like that a lot sometimes you know and um i know i'm the way i am and that's it you know yeah i think that i i i am like that a lot sometimes you know and um i know i'm like that sometimes and it's like uh yeah i'm like that i hate it about myself yeah but so it's like but we keep doing it well that's kind of what like hating yourself is it's like you are away and the older you get the wiser you get the better you are about realizing what's wrong with it and yet you still do is it's like you are a way and the older you get the wiser you get the better you are about realizing what's wrong with it and yet you still do it it's like people are ways and it's hard to change those ways because it's like saying like it's like being mad you have like two arms like sure be mad about it but like you have two arms you're not gonna get a third one and cut

one off yeah then you'd have one just saying if you're mad for two you're one you know but yeah i get it you should cut your arms off but no you shouldn't yeah um but yeah it's it's i think the best you can do is to be aware of it so that just make sure you don't get excessive about it because i'm sure your friends who are already your friends love you not despite that but like they love that side of you as well just don't let it get too much because then it's like it'll there'll be a tipping point and everyone will be like i'm so sick of her shit she just never stops complaining at least have a sense of humor about it i think yeah sounds like she

actually does but it does yeah like i, here's the thing, man. You probably, were you, did you know about the whole thing when Kristen gave us the wrong directions and I yelled at her? Yeah, you told her, yeah. So, at Stagecoach. So, my whole thing is like, I want to be like, what the fuck, you put the wrong place in? And have her be like oh fuck you playing along or just yeah and like well shut up yeah i fucked up so what gives

your fucking big head you know yeah but she just goes like this yeah yeah so i'm like oh fuck dude i can't even have fun with it i can't't even get mad. I can't get mad. I can't have fun with it. You know? And it's like, so it sounds like if it's really bothering the people you're with, that's one thing. Right. It doesn't sound like it is. But if they're able to roll with it and have a sense of humor about it, then I don't think it matters as much. Right.

But I do get the feeling of like, wait, am I just a fucking grump? I don't think it matters as much right but i do get the feeling of like wait am i just a fucking grump i don't want to be like that whether people accept it or not right so but yeah i do think awareness of it is the only thing that can really help you because in situations when you're doing it it can get you to not overdo it and overdoing that kind of thing is when it just isn't fun for anybody uh even if you are sort of like being playful people get sick of that yeah yeah true uh but yeah your awareness will help you do it sparingly and i think that'll that's all you really need uh you do it in a way where it seems like you can't not say the thing that's bothering you. Yeah, I wonder if I'm... It's like a compulsive thing.

I wonder if I'm like... I used to think it was in my OCD, but now I just wonder if I'm a little bit on the spectrum or something. Oh, I have no idea about that. I don't know. Because they say that like i have a very uh uh strong desire to not be misunderstood and that's a big indicator of either autism or something oh really yeah like i will like if kristin or somebody is talking about something that happened and they get something wrong about it i'll be like no no that's not what happened

this you are like that dude yeah and then you're like well yeah but it doesn't matter the guy still drowned yeah right yeah i'm like yeah but nobody said that part yeah yeah you are like that yeah sucks yeah i i don't and i and i and i i don't even think it sucks that's how fucked up i am well while you're doing it yeah i'm like yeah but this why are we not telling each other what actually happened though and then furthermore sometimes i'm wrong about what happened so like i'm like wrong about it and also trying to be like that's rare but like because usually you know what happened but sure but like so that makes people crazy yeah it does yeah it makes people think like they're being policed i think is the issue yeah and i don't like don't say it like that say like this i don't want that well then stop it's like it seems necessary to me no it's not i know frankly it's not you know what i mean

but i have people in my life like you that would be like who gives a fuck shut the fuck up and then i go i like that right yeah yeah but you can't do that with kristin you know sure she's more sensitive it makes sense oh yeah she's a female you know okay ah she is next one hey chris hey matt thank you guys for everything that you do i do have a question for you guys so i do a lot of different things i am an actress a musician and i just founded a nonprofit offering like yoga, breath work and sound. And everyone always tells me that I need to choose only one thing that I do. But the thing is, is that I'm passionate about and I love a lot of things. So I don't want to just choose one or the other. So my question to you guys is that do I need to choose one thing or can I do multiple things and be happy or am I going to continue to feel just kind of

burnt out and spread thin if I don't just pick one thing? So I would love to hear your thoughts on this, guys. I'm curious if you guys think it's just a social construct that you have to choose one thing or if you do think that you kind of need to pick one path but anyway guys thank you guys so much looking forward to hearing your response I don't necessarily think it's a social

construct in the sense that what I think is that that is more of like an old fashioned way of thinking about the profession we choose, our occupation in life. Now it's a bit harder to just choose one thing and stick with it. What if it's going really slow? She said she's an actor. Like what if she chose acting?

She would have so much free time while trying to build her career that she should be doing other things like founding a nonprofit or whatever. her career that she should be doing other things like founding a non-profit or whatever and like it makes more sense now i think than ever to put sort of irons and various fires to try to get several things going at once but also there's like you you said you like doing that stuff which is all that really matters and then you said am i gonna burn out do i feel like i'm spread too thin so it's like you either like it or or you feel like you're spread too thin and and it sounds like you're responding to your friends that are saying you're going to be spread too thin and if you are then that doesn't matter because if you don't feel that way don't worry about feeling that way you like what you're doing so just do it dude if you are having fun in life and doing the thing you things you want to do

and not hurting anyone then do that yeah yeah i don't know i don't i don't know if i'm that familiar with the kind of sentiment where people are like you know you gotta you gotta stop doing three or four things no but it's like jack like the jack of all trades, master of none, master of none. But I understand. It's just like if you're having fun, who cares? It sounds like you're doing all cool things. Also, though, it's a good way if you don't know exactly how you want to spend your entire life, it's a good way to figure it out by sort of trying all of them at various speeds, wherever you can.

I actually think it's a good thing to do more than one thing. It's seeing, A, what works, how you can make a living, but B, what you like or what you can tolerate. You know what I mean? It totally makes sense. Also, yes, you do look quite young. I don't think you're in any kind of hurry to settle into one position necessarily. Right, right, right. Although that dog looks kind of high maintenance. You might need to earn a whole lot of money to settle into one position necessarily right right although that dog looks

kind of high maintenance you might need to earn a whole lot of money to make that life go yeah i don't know if uh yeah fucking i feel like she knows the answer you think so why do you think that why would you do anything but what you want to do? Especially in this end. But it makes sense to be like, should I pick one thing? People in my life are telling me I need to pick one thing, but I love all these things. The only reason why you need to pick one thing is if there's one thing you want to pick and that you like it more. That's it.

I'm the man for thinking that and telling her that. Fair enough. All right. Well, should we squeak one should we get squeak one more yeah let's do another one shit hey what's up matt and chris so i was watching old lifeline episodes the other day and there's an episode where matt talks about how the lead singer from counting crows tried to fuck his girlfriend and then you guys just sort of moved past that um if that's a true story I would love to hear that story and the details of it. Just a timeline. Like, was he the Counting Crows guy at the time? And yeah, just how you dealt with it or what happened exactly.

Do you boycott the Counting Crows to this day? Or did you for a period of time? Should I boycott the Counting Crows? I'm a huge 90s music fan, but I'm a Matt D'Elia fan first. Pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-pim-p who was sort of a better version of us or had something to offer that we didn't or just was totally different. Not me. So yeah, let me know what you think. Not me.

Yeah, I can tell that story. Me. It's a really long story. Let me try to think of the shortest possible version. Is it as long as... Long December. One more night in Hollywood. Gave up on the last possible version. Is it as long as long December? One more night in Hollywood. Gave up on the last part when he does it.

God, I hate the fucking Counting Crows. The funny part about that. No, the funny part is that when we met, it was her favorite band. Okay. And I hated them. Oh, you did already? Yeah, dude.

And there was one night back when I used to drink. This is forever ago. She put a County Crows CD in her car and we were in the middle of a fight. She was playing it and I hit eject, took the disc and threw it out the window. Okay. This is before any of this happened, which is fucking hilarious. Oh, really? Yes.

So someone we both know very well mutually was working with the County Crows. I think maybe just Adam. His name's Adam Duritz. And he invited her to set the day the County Crows were going to be there because he knew she was a big County Crows fan. And I was there when she did it. It was all above board. He wasn't like, hey, don't tell me. It was like totally fine. He didn't like, Hey, don't tell me. It was like totally fine.

He didn't have any reason to suspect it would bother me, but I was like seething on the inside. I was like, of all fucking things to have happen, she's going to go fucking. Couldn't it be puddle of mud? Couldn't it just be the offspring? You know what I mean?

And so obviously speaking of jealousy, I'm not like a jealous guy. No. So I was like, what the fuck? You're going to meet, go meet the people in your favorite band. Have fun.

Like I'll see you afterwards, you know? So she goes and she's like, comes back and she's like, Oh my God, they were all so nice. And the shit, uh,

they all were like, wanted to hang out and the shit, you're a fucking hot girl. And they're fucking the counting crows. You know what I mean? Yeah. Anytime they a fucking hot girl and they're fucking the counting crows you know what i mean yeah anytime they see a hot girl they're like oh i'm gonna fuck this girl and she's like well they were really cool like they seem like they just wanted wants to fuck you okay so but whatever still even i'm like i trust her like if she wants to fucking go hang out with adam fucking dirt's what is she gonna do cheat on me then then guess what i break up with her yep

so uh she a couple times first time she went she was like she wasn't that she wasn't telling me the fucking details but she was just like trying to hide the fact it was it was just so obvious but i think she was trying to not believe it herself yeah yeah i believe and i was like listen i'm not gonna say her name but i was like do you you have to understand you have to understand he wants to fuck you smash do you how do you not know this i'm not saying you aren't the kind of person that someone could respect or right that's the thing because they think like what it's just about that like no but you got tits too i'm not even saying that at this guy doesn't respect you in fact i'm sure he does respect you yep yep but also it just so happens you got tits see ya he

wants to super smash brothers yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't blame him. You're my girlfriend. I love you and think you're beautiful. Of course, I understand why he would want to do that. Right, right, right. It's so like, there's no problem here even. We're dealing with a tit situation

that's really throwing a wrench into the works. So then I lived in, this is the part that gets long, boring, confusing. I'll condense it. Long December. I lived in New York, she lived in LA. It was a long distance relationship. She's from New York, I'm from LA.

So when we would both visit home, we'd switch coasts. Oh, wow. So there was a point where I was in LA, she was in New York and she was like, Adam's throwing this Halloween party, I'm gonna go. And I was like, I feel a little bit weird yeah i would too yeah will you can i like obviously it's adam durst's halloween party i can think of a number of my friends who would want to go she's friends with my friends when you go with

one of my friends he does go oh that's a whole story unto itself i'm not going to get into turns into its own cluster of a story really but she goes with her sister and my friend okay and that night he physically i'm not saying anything wrong he did not right at all but when a guy likes a girl i don't know if anybody knows this i don't have they do things to try to maybe kiss them or get close to them or you know advance the position right right right uh which he does right and she's or you know advance the position right right right right uh which he does right and she's like you know you're adam duritz if anybody knows what adam duritz looks like hey great guy talented musician but i mean he's one of the hottest guys ever take a look you're kidding right no okay yeah i mean yes dude i don't even know what he looks like obviously

though he's dating beautiful women why of course he's in the kind of gross because he sings like anyway yeah pull up pic yeah uh and um that's that's what happened and all i did i didn't get mad at her she told me everything i wasn't upset and i was like told you i flarkin told you so dude come on with the sideshow bob no that's so that's eric griffin and the that one looks so much like eric what the fuck that is weird dude everything is so weird adam looks like look all the things will tie hold on he looks like a mr potato and you put the hair on you put the glasses on you put the goatee on whoa dude wild right only in the 90s really you put the goatee on whoa dude wild right only in the 90s really look at him now though wow what is um the is he is that dreads are those those are dreads is he black i don't think so i think he's jewish whoa not that you can't be jewish and black but oh the one with the money bag on it go left left left no no the money back the money bag shirt the pink and the gold with the money bag on it go to left left left no no the money the money bag shirt the pink

and the gold bag of money oh is that real of course that's his beard thing that's something on his chin that looks like a beard so i'm guessing it's a beard yeah he dated jennifer yeah yeah i mean he's been with like some of the most famous well back back go to the upper left one i mean you know. That's a little. That's better. He kind of looks like Colin Farrell there, but just not as hot as Colin Farrell. He's not.

He's not. Look at him there. He's totally fine. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. That's not. You can't be having that kind of hair.

Can you even do that? There's a guy from NSYNC here. What? Yeah, a little bit. The backup guy for in sync yeah what's his name uh chris kirkpatrick yeah knows it damn well loves it has it damn well yeah anyway how do you deal with jealousy i don't know what happened to me but at some point in my early 20s i just completely stopped being jealous in every possible way i and before that it's not that i was jealous i just would get

really insecure and like get kind of um like panic about other guys and my girlfriend but i don't know my my thinking was always if she likes another guy better than me then she should be with that other person yes and, same. And if that's going to happen, I'd rather her break up with me first. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, you know, there's nothing you can do. Jealousy is, I just, it didn't seem to have any utility to me.

And not that I only feel things that are necessary. That's ridiculous. But like, I just stopped, I don't know. It stopped serving me in a very obvious way. And I just stopped feeling it. It's hard to explain. And also jealousy makes things worse always when you express that jealousy yeah and it's you just say shit you don't mean it's yeah it's no good well oh oh there's a little girl in here well why is that sneeze

sounded so much like a little girl really who was that it that? It was Marco. That was. Oh, my God, dude. I didn't hear that. Wow. Wow. Call me out. So it sounds like a grown up man, but OK. All right. Well, there you go. I'm going to be in Australia.

Get your Australian tickets. Chris Leah dot com. And tomorrow, actually, Monday, I'm announcing new dates. So go and check out my website to check out what the dates I'm announcing are. Nice. Go subscribe to the private record thank you oh and of course the most duh ever get the lifeline the lifeline live show is now up for your viewing pleasures at patreon.com slash lifeline luxury get in there got 30 plus episodes and now the lifeline live episode that i once again will

repeat it is the best episode of lifeline in the history of life yes it is wow okay yes okay chris bott