Lifeline - 118. Body-Knowledge

Episode Date: July 14, 2024

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Let's go seize the night. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamex. Benefits vary by car and other conditions apply. Let's do a full episode right now. A full episode. That's just crazy, right? Do a full send of this full full episode that's just crazy right do a full send of this full episode 118 sunday yay lifeline let's do it subscribe so bad okay the ice cube rolling over in his grave even though he's not dead

you can't do that he's alive you can't do it if you got into a grave and rolled over. Okay. Smashed you to a thousand pieces. If you've got a question, just click on the link, and you know how you do it. You've got to watch Lifeline.com. Get the merch, dude. Hook it in. But what you said was subscribe, but you didn't say subscribe to the Patreon. Oh, yeah.

Patreon.com slash Lifeline. Luxury. Yay, yay. All right. All right. Okay. And then subscribe to my solo podcast, The Luxury. Yay, yay. All right. All right. Okay. And then subscribe to my solo podcast, The Private Record. Yay, yay.

All right, dude. I don't like that, man. I know you don't. Sincerely. It's making me want to do it more. I'm sorry. I love it then. I'm sorry.

You want a one-on-one with me? Go to MattDelia.com. I'll make your life better. I'll give you great advice. You will thank me daily in your prayers. Every time you say a prayer before you go to bed to Jesus and to to me it'll be great yeah come on man wow that sounds awful this shirt i used to like this shirt but it's just too too many holes now it's too many you had one that was even more holes i threw it away yeah just quit it's too much just booked it out of the room yeah uh it's

too much now. It's just too much. Well, let me see. Hold on. Turn it. Okay. So let me just tell you. That one is way less holy, and I don't mean religious, than the last one.

I know. And I threw that one away though. I know. So you're going to throw this one away? I'm not going to throw this one away yet, but it's the weirdest sneeze ever somebody just did. It's just- Stop calling things that are happening on screen.

Nobody's going to know what's going on. What I think is too much. What you this one's too big this one's too many yeah huh yeah uh let me see can you look at me again i mean it's all right it's it's not there yet yeah i agree with you yeah i agree with nearing the trash bin but it's not quite there i also the unfortunate thing is it is my it is the best yeah. Feel that. That's always what it is. Feel that. That's always what it is. Feel that. Feel that. Feel that.

Yeah, that's always what it is. I had a shirt once that I loved. And man, I guess it's because I travel so much. I just lose shit, you know? It must be because I travel so much. In hotels and stuff? Yeah. It's sexy, your hair.

I mean, so not sexy. Wow. But yeah, so i just lose stuff and um and and i guess it's somewhere in like you know racine wisconsin yeah exactly so that sucks my uh i have an um my skin from like here to here yeah it's like really sensitive to the point of pain all the time happens to me all the time really yep just the skin yep what do you want to know yeah it's like really sensitive to the point of pain all the time happens to me all the time really yep just the skin yep what do you want to know about it what is it uh i don't know but it happens to me all the time where particularly around where under my hair is

so that would make a lot of sense what you're describing right now okay has it happened other places yes happens in my it's happened in my arm it has happened on my rib cage sort of under my arm but like under my underarm saying under so much and uh yeah i've had it on the top of my head before because the hair thing it usually means i'm sick but oh yeah but i'm not sick you know why you know why it's different though it feels that way because when you're sick you know why you know why it's different though it feels that way because when you're sick you're really achy and that's the kind of achy you are when you're sick totally but when it's just in one part of your body yeah it's not the same thing so what is it you don't know all right but i i've had it so many times i know it's nothing so nervous yeah

because i've never had it not on the top of my head you've never i don't think so okay and and i i was out in the sun for three days so I was like, oh man, maybe it's cancer. That's the most not how that works. Okay.

You know? Why? Because three days out in the sun you don't suddenly erupt with cancer. No, I know, but there's the tipping point, right?

I mean. Yeah, but it doesn't happen the day after a couple of days in the hot, hot sun. So you think that that wasn't the tipping point?

It was definitely not the tipping point. And if it was, that's not how it starts. Okay. So if this is that, it's not because of the three days I was in the sun. That's not the tipping point. Correct. Okay. So then you think that if I have it, okay.

What's it? It's the C word. Canker. Okay. All right. Somehow it's worse when you say canker. And if I have it on my neck, I need to get it sawed off like this part. You think it's just a coincidence that I was out in the sun for three days and then it happened?

100%. Wow. If you have canker there, you would have already had it before the three days prior when you were in the sun. Okay. By the time it's erupting to that level, it would have been bubbling, bubbling, bubbling for a while before that. I'm a doctor. You know?

All right. Well, that's cool to know, I guess. I don't know why he left for so long, but he did. He left for a long time. Our producer left for a while, ran. He came back with rope. We're going to kill us. We're going gonna string us

up so you missed it you missed a bunch of stuff that we talked about we talked about the tipping point of cancer so we'll probably call this episode the tipping point which is fine chris thinks he has cancer no i don't catch you up i don't think that i i hope i don't because i talked you out of it you thought you did i talked you off the ledge i thought i would guess i probably didn't if i was going to bet money on it i would bet that i didn't okay okay all right oh i got a text i don't have it naughty boy naughty boy what you gonna do because i may i may because my lease is up on my car so i may i may get a different car that was my car guy let's talk about that you want to yeah Let's talk about how you, unlike every other person in the entire universe, doesn't know what their monthly payment is on their car.

Well, yeah, but okay. So say more stuff. What does it say about you in your eyes? I don't know what my monthly payment is on my car. Yeah, what does that say about you? I know what it says about me, but I don't want to say it. Oh, well, it says two things. Okay. You want to say one of them? I'm very, I'm very go with the, I don't care about, you know, the, I'm a very, uh,

chill about, chill about money. Yeah. Well, I think what it is is you decide when it's time to decide that a number is okay, you're okay with. And then you don't keep that information in your head. You just know it's a number you're okay with. All right. Yes. And no, though.

Oh, okay. What part is no? I basically just talk to my accountant, and I say, does this work? And make it work. Ah. Does this work? And then make it work.

You could skip the first part and just say the last part. I don't know. I don't want to know. I kind of don't want to know. I don't like. I get that, and I like it, and here's the thing you didn't know that i was going to say that nobody here knows nobody in the world knows i am an accountant oh no i didn't know that yeah so yeah no one i thought

that uh keep that up i thought that um i thought that uh i i don't like to know i i don't like to know because i want to just as long as i'm okay yeah i don't want to know because I want to just, as long as I'm okay, I don't want to know, you know, I get stuff shipped to the house and it's like from offer up. And Chris is like, I got this for $5 and that's fine. But like, I don't want to know if I'm making big purchases as long as they're handling it. Yeah. I'm poor as fuck.

Okay. Well, we're working on it. We're working on it, aren't we? We're working on it we're working on it aren't we all right well we're working on it so join the lifeline join the luxury but uh i'm gonna be in san diego july 26th uh memphis tennessee august 10th dallas texas wichita oxnard california now let me say these ones that i'm gonna be okay september i'm gonna be in mccallan and beaumont texas uh that's basically mexico okay now it's fine uh definitely definitely mccallan is yeah it's okay uh so i don't know how my um draw is there but come see me uh and then peterborough ontario london ontario and then let's keep scrolling because that's what the bottom says

uh duluth minnesota so thunder bay i don't even know where that is in ontario sickest name it is London, Ontario. And then let's keep scrolling because that's what the bottom says. Duluth, Minnesota. So Thunder Bay. I don't even know where that is in Ontario. Thunder Bay is the sickest name for a place ever. It is. It is. It is. Yeah.

Wow. Lexington. So here's other ones that I don't. So Lexington and then a bunch in Alabama. Sick. But those are the ones that I feel like I don't even know if people are going to come out. Birmingham, Montgomery, Mobile, Alabama. All those places.

If you're near those places, you want to go see Chris D'Elia. He's rarely in Alabama. He's never been in Alabama. You don't want to miss your chance. This might be the only chance you have. You might die before the next time he's in town. Yeah, I guess so. You never know.

You might get your tickets and die. You want to see it. You want to make sure you get that under your belt. I don't need that much promo. Dude, it's free. So what do we do? The promo's free promo's free just like fucking shitting on it no no no i'm not shitting on it i just don't think that uh i don't i wonder if i have a draw i played birmingham once um at a club i think i think um and i remember i had a bus and don't forget about sioux falls sioux falls south dakota if you're in sioux falls south dakota And don't forget about Sioux Falls. Sioux Falls. South Dakota.

If you're in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, go and see Chris D'Elia. It's in November. I'm just saying. I know. It's going to sell out. You want to get your tickets. It might. I don't know.

Being so bashful. Anyway. You know what I mean? I try my best. Anyway, dude. Yeah. I don't like when you're sick and you're achy. Me? No. Thank you. Well, I don't like when you are, but I don't like when you're when you're sick and you're achy me no thank you well i don't like when you are but i don't like when when i do you want to hear some good news on that note sure

yesterday or maybe the day before i woke up and i was like uh-oh you know when you hit an age for me it was like well because i've been so i was so sick in my 20s i think for me it was a little before for most people. Yeah. But you know the age you hit when you know your body so well? Yeah. That you just know when you're going to be sick in three days. Oh.

Or two days or whatever. Two days, yeah. Or obviously you know when you're going to be sick that day. Right. It's just like going so fast. But I woke up, no, yeah, it was a couple days ago. I would say you know one to two days in advance. I wouldn't say you know three days in advance. Sure. Yeah, say you know three days sure yeah that's why i walked it back kind of i got a little i got a little excited that's fine uh and i woke up and i had that feeling and i was

like oh no no no no no no and i do this thing where i i eat i feast on wellness formula from Whole Foods. Oh, really? And I just, every time I have a snack or a meal or anything that is going to sit in my stomach and act as something that might fill me up a little bit, I take six more. I take six pills of wellness formula. What? And I'm just shoving them and I'm shoving them

and I'm shoving them. But why? Because it's the only thing I've ever found that when I get that feeling, it can stop me from getting sick. When I get that feeling, it can stop me from getting sick. But, but, uh...

And it did. But, but, but how do you, how did you learn that? Oh. Like trial and error? Yeah. Back when I used to get sick all the time, I used to try anything

to divert the sickness. Okay. So, all right. Well, that's pretty, that's, that's pretty cool. And it worked. I want to know what it is. So I want to get it. You definitely want to get sickness. Okay. So, all right. Well, that's pretty, that's, that's pretty cool. I want to know what it is. So I want to get it.

So definitely want to get it. Yeah. But I know, I know I can, I, if I just don't sleep enough, I'm going to get sick. Period.

That's it. End of story. Case closed. Pack it up. Yeah. All right. See you guys. It was a good show.

Thanks everybody. Stop doing everything, Chris. Yeah. It's a hundred percent. Just like if I don't sleep, boom, sickness. Yeah. You've said that before. That's just what it is. It's unbelievable. So I know it's a hundred percent. Just like if I don't sleep, boom, sickness.

Yeah. You've said that before. It's just what it is. It's unbelievable. So I know it's always been like that. Like since you were young. Oh yeah. Oh wow.

And so now, uh, so now I don't, so it took me a while when I was on tour to not, to, I used to just take the first flight. I'd be like, I'll be, I'll deal with the tiredness. Who cares? And I would always get sick. take the first flight i'll be i'll be i'll deal with the tiredness who cares oh and i would always get sick and now that i don't take the first flight i i'm telling you i i'm i had such a a decline in how many times i got sick it's unbelievable that's what we do though yes i figured out some good thing about life we learn our bodies we learn how to take care of our bodies

we explore our bodies ignore that knowledge that body knowledge at your own peril. Body knowledge is the worst two words together. So, all right, let's. I have great body knowledge. Okay, that's also a good name for a title. We're crazy with the good titles. We're cooking, yeah. All right.

Let's start. So, let's do a submission here. Here we go. Hey, guys. Love the podcast. Okay, so I have a debate for you. Let's say you're out with a group of friends, but this group is a mix of your friends and maybe

some strangers that came along. Now, you run into someone only you know. Do you say hey everyone, this is blank, or hey everyone, this is blank, blank, this is XYZ blah blah blah. Okay.

I for one hate that approach because chances of me remembering the name of the stranger that joined the group, slim. Oh, got it. So one, don't want to look stupid. Two, don't want to make them feel bad. And three, who cares? Who cares? So what is the right approach in this scenario? That's a good question.

I had a good question. Let me know. The first one, the former. You say, hey, everybody is this is uh yeah yeah this is thaddeus right and then anybody who wants to meet thaddeus can introduce themselves on their own to thaddeus if you don't like the look of thaddeus then maybe don't introduce yourself or you can play it by ear and maybe later on you might introduce yourself personally and in which case he might remember your name okay anyway back to parcheese and why don't you sit back and just look at thaddeus for the first five ten minutes while he's with us

thaddeus stand up turn around yep there we go now go ahead now let that be let that sink in for just a few minutes and then if you feel like introducing yourself to that let's go for it let's take it right now who wants to know thaddeus right now stand up anybody okay craig so go ahead why shouldn't have said your name but you can do it go ahead craig hi i'm thaddeus right now. Stand up. Anybody. Okay, Craig, so go ahead. Well, I shouldn't have said your name, but you can do it. Go ahead. Craig, hi, I'm Thaddeus. I'm Thaddeus and Craig. Okay, great.

All right, great. Thaddeus, what do you think of Craig? That's how you should do it. Does anyone want to suck Thaddeus off yet? No? Okay, and it's fine if you don't. All right, let's move on. No one even has to suck.

No one even has to suck Thaddeus off. Yeah. Yeah, nobody does. As a matter of fact, I don't know if Thaddeus is actually married yeah we came in yeah so i'm married okay so never mind um just the weirdest but yeah i think uh you do the one blanket hey everybody this is that is right hey guys this is maximilian yeah hey guys i mean the names you know hey guys this is maximilian uh this is everybody right you don't say the second part you say hey everybody this is Maximilian. This is everybody. You don't say the second part. You say, hey, everybody, this is Maximilian. And then they, hey, Maximilian.

And then, look, here's what I do. I'm sitting. Somebody else says, oh, hey, everybody, this is my friend Maximilian. I say, hey, Maximilian, what's up? I'm Matt. Oh, okay. That's on everybody else to do. I guess that's probably the best thing to do is to leave it up to the other person.

Yeah. Yeah. What up, guys? the best thing to do is to leave it up to the other person yeah yeah what up guys uh we interrupt this uh episode because we want to talk to you we have a we have a caller that's calling in here and it's very special very special guests the the uh my favorite ufc fighter cody durden he's here and he's zooming in with us now and uh he's here to promote his show for the UFC. He's fighting Bruno Silva coming up here in Las Vegas at the Apex Center, is it? Yeah, the Apex, yeah.

All right, cool. Tell us, how do you feel? Dude, I always wonder, actually, how do you feel before a fight? Because people say, like, do you get nervous before you go on stage? And I don't but i'm not getting punched in the face so you know hopefully you're not either but you probably get hit a few times with something so is it what is it yeah well you know first of all the game plans get in there hit him with some good shit don't get hit and leave with a pocket full of cash but uh you know uh it's kind of like riding the roller coaster at six flags the

first time you ride it it's exciting but you know ride that same roller coaster 30 times you know you kind of get used to it you've kind of seen it all heard it all i mean what's worse what's the worst that can happen you you you die death yeah yeah, I guess. You'll be all right. Yeah. You'll be all right. I guess. If you believe in the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, you will be okay. You definitely will be.

Because they'll take care of you, right? So, and a lot of fighters do. But you're, so I don't know if you know this, but Cody, the reason why I know Cody is because he wore a Life Rips mouth guard. That's how I know. That's how you know i learned that from seeing you cody without you know i was like what the fuck is in his mouth because i didn't know at all that you were like i was like holy shit so and you came to see me where was it in

augusta yeah yeah augusta georgia um and and but yeah dude you're a you're you're we like watching you bro i mean i'm you know i'm into i'm you know i'm you know obviously i do the podcast with shaub and i do you know i i know i know i know rogan and all those guys and so i i know a lot about the not a lot about the ufc but by proxy i'm um i do and uh and you're you're good dude every time i bring your name up people are like oh dude he's he's yeah he's, he's great. He's nothing to take lightly. Yeah, I mean, I'm ranked number 14 in the world right now. Damn, that's awesome.

I've won four out of my last five. I lost to Khabib's nephew. His name's Tagir. But I lost because he kept putting his six toes in the cage. Does he have six? It is. Yeah, yeah, probably. That should be illegal.

You got to chop one off, bro. He's from Dagestan. He might have six or seven. There you go. They all do, yeah. But, yeah, man, I mean, I'm pumped. You know, I'm ranked number 14 in the world, and I'm fighting this guy on a three-fight win streak,

and he's finished all three of his last opponents. And funny thing is, the motherfucker trains down here at american top team and i see him like oh every day oh wow yeah really so this yeah yeah it's weird bro it was weird at first but now you know i'm just like we get to find out who's varsity and who's jv i love it bro dude you're exactly you're exactly i'm really i'm really like when i found out that you hold on one second when i found out sorry i gotta plug in here always break when i found out that you were like you listen and you're a fan i was like i was i was jacked because i was like oh this is a cool dude and we we want we we're in your camp bro like i said i wish i could be there, but I'm going to be in Australia.

I wish I could be there. I'd fucking walk out with you, bro. I'm in your corner. We're in your corner here, and we want you to beat Bruno Silva on the, what is it, the 20th? Yeah, July 20th, Saturday. Yeah, man.

Let's go. Can't wait. Do you think, oh, you made weight already? You did it? No, no, you got to make weight the day before so i'm about i'm about 147 pounds today and i gotta make 126 in two in what is it uh about 16 days so that shit sounds so crazy to me but you're used to that shit right like getting losing that kind of weight in that kind of time is just part of the game for you that's crazy yeah yeah it's just i've been doing it for so long you know uh this will i think this is my 30 33rd 32nd uh fight wow i'm used to it and and i've been wrestling since i was uh

kicking slacks out the crib yeah right right right i'm i'm ready you know what i mean dude how do you how do you how does your how do the people that love you like how does your wife deal with it like when i mean i know you're obviously winning a lot but still that's got to be stressful for them man she she she loves it you know uh she she especially loves those red panty nights after i get that fat paycheck so yeah bro yeah i bet she does this is why we love you man all right dude uh we appreciate I get that fat paycheck. Fuck yeah, bro. Yeah. I bet she does. This is why we love you, man. All right, dude.

We appreciate you, man. I wanted to check in with you. I wanted to tell people to check out your fight against Bruno Silva. We got all our money on Cody Durden. Yes, we do. July 20th. You're the man, bro. And you're the UFC. You got to keep us safe, man, at the log cabin.

You understand? Yes, sir. Hey, nobody gets past the tall grass baby there we go bro cody durden said it you're the man bro we'll be watching appreciate it uh and uh and uh we we wish you well man and uh and uh you're the man all right appreciate it take care cody uh but if i but i'll say i will say, if someone introduces me and says, hey, Chris, these are my friends, and that's all that said, and nobody says anything, I go like this. Wow. Okay. Really loud to let them know that I mean business and that they should have introduced themselves to me. Right?

Okay. And I will say this. When I'm at Starbucks, which I never am, but I am when I travel sometimes because that's the only place to go to, right? Starbucks sucks. Do they have coffee bean in other states? Some, but not all of them.

Okay. Arizona? Yes. Nevada, I guess I know they have them in Vegas. Okay. So there we go. So yes. So Nevada, Arizona.

The Southwest. Maybe even more. I don't know. Okay. I don't know. Maybe North Carolina has one. I have no idea. Okay. Great. So it could be anywhere. It could be Maine, but I don't think okay i don't know like maybe north carolina has one i have no idea okay great so could be anywhere could be maine but i don't think so great right

other countries i don't think it's american but um uh if if they if if um wow so sometimes i go and they'll say uh hey yeah yeah, what do you want? And I say, four shots over ice, whatever. You know, cold brew, you know how I do it, right? Yes, I do. They'll go, okay, great. And your name's Chris? Because they know who I am, right?

Sometimes. That happens sometimes. Yeah. I'm famous. And so then sometimes they say, and your name is and i go like this okay i'll see you at the end of the uh at the end of the bar all right and then do you take care of business at the end of the bar then they say the weird guy right right yeah they should know my name um i don't get recognized nearly as much as you do so

i got recognized yeah you were saying this and it was the weirdest thing ever because i was walking my dog and i'm a i'm a really friendly guy to people that i've never met yeah i'm always like hey what's up man to like anybody on my street and but when you do that before someone recognizes you let me tell you it's weird because i was like hey what's up man to this one guy and he was like oh man oh so what's oh whoa i love what you're doing man and i was like oh okay i see at first i was like what my greeting you know and then it took him so many tries to say a few words that like made sense yeah you, so you just said hi because you say hi to people. Correct.

Oh, I was walking my dog. He was walking his dog and we were on separate sides of the street. And I was like, Hey, what's up, man? Just cause I'm a nice guy.

Does he know? Everybody says that about me. Does he watch the podcast? Yeah. Okay. Well, he said, he said,

I'm a big fan of you. I'm like, I like both of you guys, but I'm like 50.1 percent more of a fan of you and 49.9 i knew that was coming so all right so uh what if he did say that all right so um love it that's cool should have quizzed him to make sure go ahead yeah i didn't think about it but yeah the first one is better you're doing it right hey chris how bitch is this? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's pretty bitch, especially for the parking. That's for the, oh my God, I've never even seen that. So bitch. That's the most I've ever seen. Why did he only say Chris? He thinks I don't exist. Wow. He thinks, honestly, that was the greatest,

the most I've ever been disrespected without caring because i felt disrespected and then he did it and i was like this is too great it was the most disrespected i've disrespected i'd ever seen anyone be me too uh it's all right well it was a good uh it is it is so it's a bit with a park i mean it's one thing with the volume how could you or the air how could you make a car like that's correct it's an electric car no it has to be bitch ass electric didn't look like one. I'd like to point out he said it was a rental. That's not his car.

Okay. I figured no one would say that about their own car. They wouldn't get it if they thought that. That's not true. You would... That's not true. Take it back. I don't even want to explain why.

You think a person that doesn't like that feature would get a... I think that's an absolute deal breaker. You think that's a deal breaker? That's not true. For me, 100% that is a deal breaker for me that's not true 100 for you but think about how many people first of all don't care about their cars ah honestly i barely care about my car and i wouldn't do that but there's also guys who would be like oh cool that's so bad wow if you're a car if you're like this is my favorite car i want this car that's crazy yeah

that's crazy dude this for the gear shift what is this a shifter car what is that uh buffalo 66 wow you knew that huh get your motor running twisting a nipple that's amazing actually it's the least people i mean obviously people like associate driving with like being badass being free yeah dude this yeah yeah true is crazy it's like a clit dude looking for adventure that you know absolutely disgusting also with the noise it couldn't be worse A DJ, a DJ spinning. Absolutely disgusting. Also with the noise, it couldn't be worse.

Yeah, it was all very, very bad. Wow, dude. I mean, just... Absolutely. Born to be wild. But busting still. oh honestly honestly i just wanted everybody to know i'm only laughing because that is the stupidest thing i've ever seen anyone do oh Oh, my God. The fucking end of having sex with... And crashing. Oh, God.

Oh, fuck, dude. Wow, wow, wow. Oh, shit. Oh, man. Jeez. Also, dude, that. Wow, wow, wow. Oh, shit. Oh, man. Jeez. Oh, fuck. What? Also, dude, that really is just so bad.

It's hard to even believe. Oh, man. I'm so hot right now. Whoa. Not horny. I mean, I know. Yeah. You know what I mean?

No one thought Chris just said he was horny, you know? Only, mate. Horny. Horny is the worst word, you know? It really is bad, dude. Horny is the worst word because it kills any kind of sexual mood. It does. It does.

I didn't say anything yet and kept saying it does. Because I knew you were going to say it, dude. Said it loudly over me. Horny should stick, keep it for toads and that's it, man. Yeah, nice. Nice. I'm going to get that bumper sticker. Horny, keep it for toads?

Yeah. Man, after that, after laughing at that. Don't mind if i do after laughing at that yeah i am spent bro yeah it's tough let's do a new one let's let's let's let's relax and watch let's watch another submission yeah hey chris hey matt long time listener of the show um so i had a question slash advice i guess on a toothbrush debacle I'm having with my boyfriend of four years, Vince. So a little backstory when me and my sister would go to bed. Sometimes we would play dentist.

So I would take her toothbrush. She would take mine. We would brush each other's teeth. Anyways, it feels like really weird. And it's just like a silly goose thing. So I had told my boyfriend about this um like a year into dating and he was like absolutely not like no you're not going to brush my teeth because i asked him like would you let me do this um just period a few times a year it's been four years

he still has not let me brush his teeth not once so i'm just asking like do you guys ever have this issue where like chris you ask kristin or matt and chris like hey man just like do you guys ever have this issue where like chris you asked kristen or matt and chris like hey man just like do this thing and you're just like no i'm not gonna do it um and it's silly but i'm just like if you just let me do it i'll stop asking anyways um any advice would be great love you guys good question uh what a great person yeah i i i i definitely don't. I mean, I guess I'd have to ask my wife, but I don't think I do that to her. She, this is, I think it's a female thing.

She absolutely does it to me. What do you mean it? Can you describe it? Try, come on, do this. And you're like, I don't want to. And they're like, just try it and keep asking. Men don't do that. Yeah, women do that.

And I've had it happen to me. And why is that i don't know but it's it's i had at one time my girlfriend at the time wanted to she used to actually she used to have a specific thing called a tongue brush or tongue scraper i know and she was like she was like very big on oral hygiene and was like uh it's i'll do the disgust o meter yeah keep going so that the tongue is that much like even more important than brushing your teeth according to this woman right okay or just as important she'd scrape her tongue every time she brushed her teeth and she was like let me scrape your tongue and dude i was like no just straight up no and she was like come on why won't you let me and i was like i don't want my tongue to get scraped it's nothing to do with like you being near my mouth like you can for

instance if you want to brush my teeth go for it get up in there get in my mouth i don't want my tongue straight in there that's gross and it's gonna feel weird you know anyway she got legitimately mad at me oh wow yeah and it sucked and it was the same same girl uh i know i've talked about before i mean that's disgusting yeah that's really bad but uh i mean dude hey boyfriend let her do it once that's nothing well if he thinks it's disgusting fine but he's he would be wrong because it is not okay we'll just brush the teeth one time true dude i actually i'm gonna do that i'm gonna ask kristen because i think that's that you would do that thing where you're like let me pee between your legs to your girlfriend i mean well she's sitting on that actually really that's my thing dude look i've Let me pee between your legs to your girlfriend? I mean, I don't think I've ever done that, actually. Really?

That's my thing, dude. Look, I've done it before. I don't know. I don't think I've ever done it with Kristen, though. Yeah, it's cool because you've got to aim it right. I think I do it at public urinals. The stakes are high. You've got to aim it right, you know? Want to get pissed on in between your legs?

I want to hear your cock. Nope. All right. You know, to just random men? Yeah. In like a fucking Ikea bathroom. All good. Is that Chris Lea? just random men yeah yeah in like a fucking ikea bathroom all good is that chris leah uh i do think though that that is like we said that is more of a female to male thing maybe lesbians do it to

each other all the time though oh and they're just like yes you can do it to me because they totally get it yeah yeah uh i don't uh so there's there's there is i definitely do do with the thing where like if i want to watch a movie and she doesn't or if she wants to watch a movie but i want to watch a horror movie and she doesn't i'll be like oh come on and i try to be like come on let's watch a horror movie that's not the same thing right that's not the same thing no because you want to watch it right right right yeah yeah okay what she's describing is doing something to your partner or sibling or loved one that kind of requires some kind of vulnerability or openness and it's usually a physical thing it's not like an act activity for the most part it's usually it's usually squeezing the the like the oh you have a white head on your

shoulder you know in fact i've never dated anyone who didn't want to do that. Women do that, period. And every woman that has ever done that to me, I have said, you know all women do this. Then they get mad that I say that. Well, then how about take a cue and don't say that? No, because they need to know that they're being. They don't need to know that. I don't want them to do it, though.

Well, then say that. Don't say the thing that's good. I said that first. Oh, I want them to do it. I love when they do it. Oh, okay the thing that's- I do say that. I say that first. Oh, I want them to do it. I love when they do it. Oh, okay. Well, then that's where we're- Therein lies the difference.

Yeah. Okay. And honestly, that makes me the man. Why? That makes me the man that I want them to do it. Okay. And it makes you a fucking loser. No.

Okay, next video. Wow. Hi, Chris and Matt. That is cool. I love your podcast. I'm going to keep this really short. What is your opinion on people speaking in tongues do you think it's real or fake no it's fake bye next well i actually honestly not to be like this but depends on what you mean by real or fair sure sure i don't think

the i think the vast majority of people who do it are not like well i'm gonna bullshit my way through this or i'm gonna fool all these people they do it are not like, well, I'm going to bullshit my way through this or I'm going to fool all these people. They believe it. I think that what's happening is more along the lines of social contagion. When people see someone else do it, they believe that it's real. They know that it's real. That person swears. The person who did it swears it was real.

It was the Holy Ghost. However, it's not. Then they get overcome with the same sort of whatever the hell it was. But you're being Jordan Peterson, right? Because it's just not real. And we can all just say it's not real and we know what it means. But what does that mean? Define not real, though.

Jordan Peterson, dude. This is what I'm talking about. Like, you're not actually, there isn't a spirit overcoming you. Is that what she's asking? I think so. If that's what she's asking, then simple as that. The answer would be no. Well, then how is that question she's asking i think so if that's what she's asking then simple as that i mean look the answer would be no well then well then what's that how is that question different than can you talk in tongues absolutely i shouldn't look like that's because then clearly

i did it's clearly you can is what would be my point right like is it real or is it fake if you're asking is is it a spirit speaking through you no no no no, no. No, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. Speaking in tongue. Okay. Let me answer that in a language you understand. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. An island on Vancouver, BC. You know, an island in fucking whatever it is, British Columbia. Yes! Got out of that one.

Gave up near the end. Almost gave up. But yeah. We should make yes got out of of that one. I just merge. Yeah, that's good. That's a good idea. I think though that I do want to be clear that I don't think those people are bullshitting. In fact, I strongly believe that they're not.

No, I, I, yes. I know you're not saying they're being genuine, but that isn't even that to me seems the wrong way to say it. They think they're, it's like I'm saying I know better. I don't, I'm not saying I know better. I know more than them. I think their experience is a real thing.

No. Whether it's actually physically happening in the physical world that we all share, the answer is no. But are they experiencing that or whatever their version of that is they i think they actually are no okay well he thinks no oh there we go oh no oh a slight disagreement who's disagreeing would you disagree please i need backup

the mic in a way the mic in a way and shit Would you disagree please? I need backup. The mic in the way? The mic in the way and shit? Hey man. Alright. Stop. You know? In the car. Alright. Great. That was great. It was terrific. In the car. All right.

Great. That was great. It was terrific. I loved every second of it. Okay, cool. Hey, man, Chris. It's Jenna from Minneapolis. Hey, Jenna.

I am mainly just calling. I will keep this short. I promise. Okay. I've noticed a lot of submissions, especially from men, with like a very low. Oh, yeah. Women would never do that. But women would never do that. maybe it's like that elder millennial

female of me where we were like yeah get your angle right better or something that's funny is that a gender thing is it generational is it a secret third thing and do people have a preference so that is all I have to ask today good love you guys thanks bye congratulations on the great teeth true preference so that is all i have to ask today that's good i love you guys thanks bye women

think it matters congratulations on the great teeth true i think men think it's like them looking big and tough and like cool and i think with women it makes i think it's as simple as it makes you look lighter because the more flattering light you look you look f a t when it's a low angle right yeah i don't think men think about it as much as you're saying t h i n when it's a low angle right yeah i don't think men think about it as much as you're saying t h i n when it's a high angle so then um so ten ten yeah thine uh so all right so yeah i i don't think men think like when i'm doing it i'm not thinking about, oh, this angle looks terrible. Well, you should because you look F-A-T when you do it. And so- I had a seizure. That's Tourette's.

So I just go, I mean, maybe I'll be like, maybe I'll look to where I look better, I guess. Dude, I do open it like this and I'm like, oh, damn. Yeah, I guess I've done that. F-A-T. Let me straighten this baby out. You can say it. It's not- We've said C-O-C-K on this podcast, you know?

I don't know. It's the F word, you know? I pretended to have sex with an ignition on a car. Yeah, you did. On a rental car um so but yeah no i think it makes it makes people a low angle makes you look fat simple as that you know and that's so so i think women definitely are more aware of their angles when it comes to looking fat for sure so i guess i would say that that's a gender thing i guess i think specifically it is a gender thing

that women do this and men do this. Because I do think men do this, if they consciously do it, to look bigger. And women do it to look less big. It's as simple as that. I guess I wouldn't do it like this. I would be like, I look like a little bitch.

See? Yeah. There we have it. So, yeah. The thing is with me, though, I could do it here. I could do it there. I could do it there. I look like fucking little bitch see yeah now there we have it so yeah the thing is with me though i could do it here i could do it there i could do it there i look like fucking tyson beckford basically but white for an accountant yeah all right yeah it's good good submission no these are good submissions i'm liking these these are good submissions submissions so drunk

okay next one submissions what's up chris and matt my name's Mike. Huge fan of the podcast. Been a true baby since day one. Oh yeah. I need some advices. I'm from New York. My fiance's from northern Michigan. There's some dialect differences. She's got a little bit of that Midwest accent. She says things like pop instead of soda. Oh wow. and it's whenever there's something that needs to be done she says this needs done Oh Andre needs folded the house needs clean this needs cooked came out everything we've been together six years she hasn't always said it I feel I think she started doing this about two years ago when we went to see her family for

Thanksgiving in Michigan her mom and her sister talking like that so she might have been like i gotta hold on to that midwest accent you know hilarious uh and it's just getting worse she just texted me that something needs done and uh makes me blood red mad and i don't know what to do i've tried to be like you're right that does need to be done right um but i don't know any advice helps appreciate it thanks. Thanks. Love you guys. That's funny. I like when people are ticked off by stuff like that. When people go back to wherever they're from, they always come back with a thicker accent.

I don't know what you're talking about. Or a more specific dialect. Marron. Are you crazy? So stupid. No, but it's true. Even when people aren't from that place. Like I knew a girl who lived in England for a year or two and came back and was just like as if she's from manchester with her accent simply don't agree

she's from fucking san marino california my mom's in the hospital yeah basically yeah uh oh god sick and i is basically how she was talking but yeah no uh that's back from australia annoying as again annoying if it's annoying and it sounds like to you that is the needs whatever is annoying. It's a game, man. It's talking like a game. But I actually don't think that particular dialect thing is annoying. I think that's kind of endearing. But I guess if someone I lived with, my partner, whatever,

like my wife said it about a lot of different're gay i think i would i think i would get used to it after a while and not be like oh because it's not that annoying i like regional dialect things i don't know yeah yeah yeah that one doesn't bother me but i guess the advice though would be i would make fun of her though right if it bothers you stop doing like don't pussyfoot around it and be like yeah it does really need to be cleaned be like hey i just want to know like you started doing this more since you went home and i know it's a regional thing but like are you aware that you're doing that a lot and like what's up get that go on the app store uh download here we go here we go okay and and put it on and start watching it with your wife

and be watching it and watch some stuff on it he's got a lot of hilarious things on it and and good yeah it really does and so um you know after that becomes the app that you go to make that the go-to app that you go look at movies and tv shows and stuff uh then say uh one day say what's that app and she says to be and then say oh so you can say it that's really good and that's the long play but you know entirely unnecessary but it's good i still like yeah no that's awesome dude i would love to do stuff like that i'm gonna do that i wish my wife was from the- I want to convince Kristen to start doing that. So just to facilitate-

We already watched Tubi though. You being able to delete it. I'll delete it for the thing. Yeah. No, but Tubi's the best. So I'm glad you brought it up. Tubi should sponsor this show because I talk about Tubi all the time

and they're getting free advertising and that is not fair. You know what the best is though? Shudder. I love Shudder, but it's it's not it's it's it's too niche sometimes you want to watch like a bad tv movie from the 80s you can't get anywhere but to be well sometimes you want to watch a steven seagal movie you can only get it on to be right yeah okay sure yes but a lot of times you want

to watch a horror movie it's on shutter and to be yeah but if you like horror, Tubi is, or I'm sorry, Shudder is. Of course, it's for horror fans. And I am. I am. But you like other movies too. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So that's what's, let's stop with Tubi. Would you say you're a horror fan? Also, Tubi's free. Yay, yay. No. Am I a horror fan? Yeah, I am.

I like horror movies, but I don't think I'm like a horror fan. I finally saw that In a Violent Nature movie. Don't care. Okay. What else is going on? Okay. Yeah, you you know you mentioned that to him oh yeah anthony said he didn't like it boo what is it i could change your mind fuck yeah i can change your mind

do it uh darren what's his name the mentalist yeah uh i'm kidding i don't know why did you not like is that the one with the hood on the scary guy mentalist no it's the really handsome guy that's in all those black people movies. Come on. Who? The white guy that's really handsome that's in all those black people movies. What black people? The mentalist.

The guy who played the mentalist is in so many black people movies. Simon Baker? Yes. Is in black movies? He's always in a movie with like Neil Long. That's sick. Yeah. It's cool.

Anyway. He's handsome, huh? Yeah. Yeah. Very handsome. Yeah. Cool. Thank you.

So anyway, what were you saying? I forget and I'm pissed. About the- him convincing him oh wait is that the movie that you showed us the trailer of with the guy the new kind of killer yeah okay yeah where they follow him is real slow yeah okay yeah yeah so i didn't see it of course it is i mean that would be false advertising if the movie was like super fast after that trailer so why didn't you like it anthony no no no no, no, no. Really want to do that here? Okay, we'll do it on Lifetime Logger.

Yeah. But no, you can. I mean, I'm just saying this is a submission show. We're going to talk about a movie you saw on Shudder. True, true, true, true, true, true. Okay. Okay. Jesus Christ, slap me on the wrist.

Why don't you? Okay. All right. What's up, Matt? What's up, Chris? Oh, he's wasted, dude. So my name is Cody. Mustache scared of itself. Forgot. So as a kid, dude. So my name is Cody. Mustache scared of itself. Forgot.

So as a kid, I was always the shaved head kid. Because that's all my parents didn't want to pay for a haircut. Mustache is so scared of the middle of his nose. So mom pulled the clippers out. He, he, he. Guy from Place Academy. I know how it works. I'm an adult.

I'm 30. I'm married. I have kids. Okay, bragging. I'm like, I'm going to grow my hair out. And I'm going to grow my, you know i'm like i'm gonna grow my hair out and i'm gonna grow my you know what i'm gonna grow my facial hair out too not all of that's not working um my wife has some opinions about my hair and my facial hair um i'm calling to see your guys's opinion on how much my wife's opinion should weigh on whether I grow my hair out and fight through the awkward stage or keep my face short.

Yeah, let me know. Yeah, I get it. Here's the answer. No other opinion matters besides your wife's. And if you're not married, no other opinion matters besides your girlfriend's or if you're- Well, yours does.

His does. Sure, if she wanted him to do something he hated, then of course I would not suggest it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if he's asking how much should I weigh my wife's opinion, very, very, very heavily. Yeah. Because who cares about anything else? I think what he's asking, though, is how much should I weigh it in response to my own opinion?

I don't think he's asking how much should that matter for people's do you understand what i'm saying for people for people's uh opinion just gave up you know how much it should matter for people's no because i thought it was inferred that i meant opinion but yeah people's opinion yeah okay um yeah well okay well sure no one else's opinion should matter but if you disagree heavily with your wife then you're kind of at a crossroads i still think you should divert your wife though if she's like your hair looks like shit yeah cut it again i think you should listen to it i guess you're right yeah yeah probably like who cares what anyone thinks besides the one person you

need to think you look good that's true that. That's true. Yeah. That's true. Unless you are just like, I need to do this just this one time. That's different. But you need to see how your hair looks long. I get it. But like if it's just like a lark and you're like, maybe I'll grow my hair out. And your wife's like, that looks like shit. Cut it again.

Then cut it. Like it's simple. Yeah. I mean, sure. I guess I agree. I mean, it sounds like maybe she just doesn't want to wait out the period of the awkward stage. In which case, that's silly of her. Just let him try it.

That facial hair is going to be an awkward stage for 18 years. It'll be a while. He's got very thick hair. Oh, you're saying the facial hair? Oh, yeah. Yeah, because it will never- It'll never grow in because of what it looks like now. Just get a little Sharpie and just right there.

Put it on right there. Yeah. And then when you shave, you'll look like Hitler's that's a trick you bad idea trick you it's a pretty bad guy to look like um michael jordan did it i would say way weighed heavily but uh you got to do what you got to do if you got to grow your hair out you got to grow your hair out remember when michael jordan had the uh no what is this hitler mustache no google that do he does google michael jordan hitler mustache okay i can't wait for this yeah it was on an underwear commercial yeah on the fruit of the looms or something okay it wasn't a hitler mustache oh yes it was yes it was really yes look at it

oh that's very hitlerian oh my god hey shave it it looks like a sharpie really weird huh it's just not it's not grown in enough to even he would be worth keeping though because like he's a weird dude you own like i'm michael joy yeah yeah and yeah well yeah i'm gonna try you only think of one thing when you see that though and that's it's so it's just that i've got possible explanations also he looks really good with a regular mustache remember when we got an argument i was saying he's one of the most handsome athletes ever and you hard disagreed look at him how could you disagree okay go go down to go down go down go down down okay go to the bottom of that one right there on the right on the right with the regular mustache that so yeah he's handsome i think he looks better with no facial hair oh really yeah okay he's so handsome clean

he's handsome yeah he's handsome yeah yeah hell yeah he's handsome one of the most handsome it's crazy to be i don't know that handsome and that good at something that so many people care about i don't know if i'd say i don't know i still don't think i'd say one of the most handsome sports players i don't think i'd say that i'm only saying that because i can't really think of many that are more jeter high there's johnny damon high ugly guy johnny damon looks like a neanderthal. That's crazy, bro. Both of those guys are ugly. Who else you got for me? Let's think of basketball here.

Isaiah Thomas was kind of handsome, but he's more cute. Doesn't really apply. Yeah, you know what? You're right, actually. Michael Jordan is probably. Athletes are ugly. Well, no, no, no. That's not true, though. Typically.

I mean, not in hockey. Well, yeah, typically, yeah. That's not true, though. Typically. I mean, not in hockey. Well, yeah, typically, yeah. Yeah, typically, yeah. Remember that pitcher, Barry Zito? He was handsome. Yeah, he was handsome, yeah. Some pitchers are handsome, I think. Andy Pettit, wasn't he handsome?

Some quarterbacks are handsome. Wasn't he handsome? Some wide receivers are handsome. Andy Pettit was not that handsome. No. Todd Zeal? Eh. All right.

It was whatever. Wally Backman, if you like that kind of thing. Wally Backman, dude. that kind of thing wally backman dude wow uh yeah so anyway uh ryan sandberg mark grace was handsome kind of yeah and like that yeah and the all-american rough guy way no no rough pretty rough really dark like this oh okay yeah okay anyway we're going down the next one uh next one hey chris and matt love you guys so the other day i was on a walk with glasses too Next one. Hey, Chris and Matt. Love you guys. So the other day I was on a walk with a baby. And there's a guy up ahead mowing his lawn.

And as we're passing, he stops and gets off and asks if he can see the baby. And I don't think he was trying to be weird or creepy or anything. But in the moment, it just freaked me out. And I said, sorry, we're in a hurry to try and kind of move along. I get it, yeah. And get away since he's a stranger and I was alone. So my question is, in that situation, what would you say if you were me? Was I kind of overreacting or was he just being nice?

And then going along with that, do you think that women should always kind of be on guard with strangers, especially if we're alone or, you know, with a baby. Or is there certain situations where we don't have to be as cautious or careful? Just want the guy's perspective on that. Thanks. Bye. So I just want to say one thing real quick about this episode. All of these submissions have been so good. It's making me think it's like a top three or five. Best submitted show so far. Lifeline episode.

I would say one of the best. The best submissions maybe ever, yeah. You're welcome. Oh, you know. Yeah, I mean, we are saying thanks. It's only been 120 episodes. Took it a little farther. But yeah, great submission.

If you want to go, go ahead. I mean, yeah, you have to be on your guard. Well, period. But also for a woman extra, definitely. No doubt. I mean, no doubt. I also don't think you overreacted i don't either i it's happened to me before where um as a baby when you were a baby something something like this will happen and it won't be until right after the interaction that i realized oh she was just doing yeah what she's

not supposed to do but she's being sensible my initial reaction in those instances is to be like oh that's so shitty why would but then i so quickly arrive at oh well she doesn't know me yeah like i totally get it you know that's why in those situations when they arise if i open my mouth at all it's always like if i open my mouth at all it's always like in the most like yeah same i'm yeah yeah i will back away the moment you would like me to yeah um but yeah it's ha it's happened to me and i just as a man yeah where a woman is like doesn't want to respond or look at me or or whatever like she's alone on a street passing me yeah and like of course i totally get it when a woman doesn't want to go or goes out of her way to not want to engage yeah is um so can i clear something up she said she was walking with her baby in a stroller right

and and who it was somebody that was doing She said they were doing this and then they stopped and said something. What were they doing? Or am I wrong here? Do you guys get it? Were they just walking by or were they on a walk? She was on a walk with the baby, walked by a guy in the garden. Is that what you're asking? Oh, yeah. OK, so but I guess I guess my point is if they're walking by and they say oh can i see the baby that's not really a big deal but if they're doing something else like if the guy was gardening yeah and then

oh can i see the baby get up that's fucking so weird that is weird but i also i think i honestly think everyone kind of abided enough by the social con the unspoken social contract he he just was it's probably like maybe he recently had a kid or a grandkid and it's just like baby crazy at the moment and like saw like a really nice looking family and was like I not thinking probably that much but she did the right thing yeah yeah yeah there's nothing wrong with him asking there's nothing wrong with him asking there's nothing wrong with you saying no totally nothing and if he asked and you said no and he was like oh okay then he's a fucking asshole he's a dick yeah yeah uh but i get it i and i think about this a lot

that sucks man it does for any woman in this situation where it's like you got to think about am i being mean like here's the deal though the end the truth the truth is you're not being mean unless you act mean there's no version of you being like oh no i'm in a rush sorry that's not mean because that is a normal thing to say in a nice way to reply to somebody when you don't have time right right but if he did that and you were like no fuck sorry fuck face you look like you have a small dick there you go exactly that would be mean yeah or any version of something that's like oh like if you even made a face like oh creep like that's you don't need to do that yeah yeah yeah just you're fine though

don't overthink it and don't be an asshole and you're all so nice yeah yeah and probably that kind of shit probably happens to her a lot or enough to make her wonder. She looks very approachable. Yeah. Plus her kid is super cute. Yeah. And I also want to take a closer look. Yeah.

I mean. So wheel her down here. Or him. I think that, yes, but the bottom line is I think women should be extra vigilant about that stuff. Yeah, for sure. And really, really weak men too. I would say if women feel like being extra careful,

then they should absolutely follow their gut. If they're, if they're like, why would I be extra careful and don't, don't want to be, I wouldn't be like, well, you know what?

You should be. It's just, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Cause I yeah because i've known girls that are i've i've been like hey like you might want to be careful when you're in that area yeah yeah and then they like clap back at me and they're like and i'm like fuck are you kidding yeah yeah all right all right hey it's your funeral hey it's your fucking funeral um i yeah kristen kristen the other day said look at how cute this is i want to do this with the kids and she pulled up a video online and it was uh a family like on the on the on a bench and behind it was like um you know i don't know if it was sea world or what but like there was a pool of

water and the guy was like come on come on and the big ass seal comes and poses with the kids oh my god and she was like isn't that cute and i was like just so you know that will never be allowed yeah yeah she's like but it's so cute i was like i mean i'm not even saying it's not cute i just have you not seen the videos where they fucking all they do need to do is grab you drag you under it done i haven't seen those videos oh dude it's the most horrific thing you've ever seen what are you saying happens though all they have to do is just go oh a fucking baby so that happens though you're saying and there are videos of it oh yeah oh then yeah obviously don't do that she was like it's not

gonna happen i was like i don't give a fuck. Yeah, why? No way. For a cute pic is not worth it. Yeah. No. But she thinks I'm being overboard. Show her the videos. She'll change her mind.

Yeah, maybe you're right. Maybe I would. One of those, if that exists. It's horrific, dude. Yeah, I was going to ask a question. I don't want to know the answer. Oh, man, I feel bad now. You were going to ask a question.

You don't want to know the answer? Correct. All right, one more more i know i'm 225 is where i can bench if that's what it was hey chris and matt long time listener my name is onyx and i am from atlanta georgia oh and as you can see i have tattoos yeah i'm yatted as someone say and people seem to think that this is the main topic of conversation that i want to have all day every day people show me their tattoos people ask me to show them more of my tattoos i think it's wild to run up on a stranger and demand to see parts of their body. But that's just me. Yeah. I went to the ER recently, you know, and the nurse asked me to, you know, pull up my sleeve to stick the IV or whatever. And upon seeing my sleeve, you know,

And upon seeing my sleeve, you know, she started going into this long story about she got this tattoo in memoriam of this event. And I said, ma'am, I am running a fever and I feel like I'm going to vomit at any second. Can we get this show on the road? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not to be rude, but it's just like it's not always time for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not always time for that. Of course. Do you have a quip or a one-liner to get me out of this jam?

It would be greatly appreciated. Chris, you rock. Matt, I love you. Baby, baby. Pimpy, pimping. I love you, too. Wow. Oh, sweet.

I mean, in that situation, you were in the hospital. I'd be like, I can't talk right now. I feel like shit. Yeah, I mean, that's so crazy when a doctor or nurse or nurse is like trying to be jovial or even overly friendly with you and you're like i can't even talk right now what the fuck are you doing but sometimes doctors do that because they they feel like that'll lighten the mood and make you feel better which i understand but all you got to do is be like yo i can't do this right now and i'm sure they'd understand if they're a nurse or a doctor what do you do do when it's a stranger? It's just, that's so awkward.

It is weird. Cause like, I guess I have a lot of tattoos, but like. Well, this is what I'm going to say. Just keep in mind somewhere, even if it's just in the back of your mind, a little faint whisper. They're doing it because they want to talk to you. Right. True. And for whatever reason, I don't know what that might be, but I'll let you do the math on that one.

But like these people, they're not just seeing tattoos on person, then thinking, I want to know what that person's tattoos are. They're seeing you, wanting to talk to you, and seeing that you have a lot of tattoos, and then thinking, oh, well, that's an easy thing to first start talking about. Right, right, right. She has tattoos. I have tattoos. I'll ask her about her it yeah it's just like that's what's really going on there uh so i don't know if that helps you it doesn't change your situation you still have to be in that situation but maybe

it'll help you be able to think of something to say that you know i guess what i'm saying is keep in mind it's not really about the tattoos. It's about talking to you. So if it's a stranger, you can be like, I'm sorry, I'm in a rush or whatever. I don't know what's like that. That's good.

I'm in a rush. I mean, yeah, there you go. Like the woman with the baby. There you go. Yeah. Did you just take you that long to connect the baby to that thing?

Cause I had it right there, locked and loaded. So who gives a fuck? Not me. Okay. Well, I could have thought of that. to connect the baby to that thing? Because I had it right there locked and loaded. So? Who gives a fuck? Not me. Okay, well, I could have thought of that. I thought of that right away and I could have fired out

a joke or two about it, but I didn't because I didn't think it was worth it. And you made the connection too and that's good. It just took too long. Who gives a fuck? Not me.

All right. Who gives a fuck? I mean, yeah, I don't want any trouble. Nobody gives a fuck i mean yeah i don't want any trouble nobody gives a fuck i care i don't care one person gives a fuck i'm just saying uh so yeah i don't you know i mean i know i don't i actually rarely get asked about my tattoos it happens i guess now that i think about it's probably because when people come up to me they come up to me for a different reason but but what do you do okay so that's similar though that's a fucking i can see it it's not out but there's a huge outline of your cock and well what do you know idiot what do you say to get out of it quickly i say this isn't about my cock man and i moonwalk no what do you say so you can help give advice to

this woman so Okay, so... Because it's the same. What I'm saying is it's actually the same thing. Yeah, yeah. You know? You could just go like this. Me for nosh neck, loaf nosh,

need nish, not a nosh. They would fucking leave. Maybe. I cannot. But I don't picture her really wanting to do that. I am looking for souls. Do that.

That's so stupid. Yeah, I'm late. I'm in a rush. I'm sorry. Or you could that. That's so stupid. Yeah, I'm late. I'm in a rush. I'm sorry. Or you could say you have COVID, dude. How about this? Go ahead. Nice tattoos.

Oh, nice tattoos. Let me show you my tattoos. Don't. Sorry, I am. Tattoos. Tattoos? I am. They would touch her, you know?

They'd be like, you're a tattoo? I am Russian with gun. Yeah. So, yeah. Anyway, that's it. That's what's up give better advice though for the dude that's it that's the advice top-notch advice i don't speak english that's not i don't speak a lot oh i guess i would do that i would do that okay i don't do that because i can't i would do that all the time i have different advice it's i'm late i gotta be somewhere I'm sorry I'm in a hurry or I have COVID I am late I am COVID and I have COVID yes I am late and I don't speak English only language I know is what I am saying that is it

and also and also golf and also uh golf club and park and caddy. That is it. And that is it. And that is it. Okay. And then leave. Okay, yeah. We both gave pretty equally good advice.

All right. Only English I know is I am late, I have COVID, and I do not speak English, and golf and basketball and hockey and caddy. And that is all I know. And I know all I know. And that is it. And that is it.

Okay. And that is it. Yeah. Thank you, everybody. Sign up for the Patreon. Patreon.com slash Life on Luxury. We love you. We love when you sign up for that.

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