Lifeline - 121. The Atheist Virgin

Episode Date: August 4, 2024

LIFELINE ✨LUXURY✨ is available at patreon.com/lifelineluxury. Extra episodes every month, no advice, all for $5. Also has a full live show. 🤳 Want to submit to Lifeline? Go here: forms.gle/EYbqjvyy1A9r728Y9 ☎️ You can also call the hotline at 213-973-8095 Today, we're discussing towel and blanket tags, fiend trip drama, neighborhood drama, breakup drama, living at home with your folks, newborn family drama, and career changes. 🎧 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: apple.co/3NG2G2G 🔊 Subscribe on Spotify: spoti.fi/3NPUwoT 🔗 All our links: linktr.ee/watchlifeline 💚 Lifeline is the first podcast about you, hosted by Matt D'Elia & Chris D'Elia. 📆 Book 20 or 40 min one-on-one sessions with Matt at mattdelia.com. More LIFELINE: Instagram: instagram.com/watchlifeline Tiktok: tiktok.com/@watchlifeline Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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It is episode 121. Whoa, it's Sunday, August 4th. Whoa, summer is slipping right on by. It is August. And we got two, what do you call it? Live episodes, live Lifelines coming up in the chamber. So make sure you get on that Patreon, patreon.com slash LifelineLuxury.

Get on there and don't unsubscribe because it's coming next week or next month or two. And do subscribe if you haven't because again, it's coming double dose of Lifeline Lives, baby. There you go. That's good. You wanna do the episode or you wanna do your stuff here? We can do that.

Let me do my stuff. Why don't you just go ahead and subscribe to the Private Record, my solo podcast. Bing bong, hit on over there, bing bong, and subscribe to that and then bing bong, come right back here. That's for sure. And that's what's up.

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You know, you want to know annoying? It's at LifelineMerch.kizzle. Oh, dude, that's horrible. Don't do that. Don't say I'm annoying then, because if you say I'm annoying, you'll get the real deal annoying. That's the most annoying thing is to do that. To do what?

In retaliation. Yeah, well. Well. That's what I do. Okay. So you say the thing that I'm not, I give it to you the real deal as if I was. Okay.

Anyway, that's fine. Thanks for giving it to me the real deal, but it is what it is. You need that magic mind you're yawning. That's two yawns. Is it two? It's two yawns. I did two yawns? Watch how many yawns I do now after this zero.

It's nighttime. It is nighttime. We never record at night and guess what it is? It's nighttime. Magic mind keeping me awake. There we go. The freaks come out at night. The freaks come out at night.

Natural five hour energy drink. Ah, cool, man. So five hour energy drink is a crazy company and they are not natural. Anyway. What are the words you just said? Five hour energy drink. Five hour, oh five, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They are not natural. So anyway, yeah, so my son got a, Calvin got a transformer costume. You saw it? I did see it. Yeah, it was really funny. He's so serious about it. That kid is so serious. He's a serious kid, yeah.

I got him gummy eyeballs. Dude, I got, he's like, okay, so I was with Eric Griffin and Brendan Chop doing Golden Hour. And I was with, he had brought Boston, his son, to the studio. We all had lunch, the four of us. How old is Boston?

Four. Oh, okay. And so I said to Boston, I was like, what kind of candy do you like? And he said, gummy eyeballs. And I was like, I've been hearing about this candy recently, I don't know why. It's weird.

It must be like a YouTube video going around about it or something. Okay. So I told Calvin about it, he was like, I always wish I could get gummy eyeballs, like and we're gonna go sometime, yeah. I guess somebody told him they were gonna take them or something and I was like, oh well let's look

and I looked at them on Amazon and I got them. I'm like, oh, they'll come tomorrow. Literally just they'll come tomorrow. Like everything else on Amazon. Right. But this one was like, it'll be here tomorrow morning. So I was like, oh, cool. So I clicked it and he was like, I can't wait.

I can't wait. Just flipping out, you know? And then he went to bed, woke up and I think actually he came into our room early morning and slept like when it was like still nighttime. See you later, man. See you, man. Just slowly.

It's good to have you on the podcast. And so he woke up and he says, we should go check for those gummy eyeballs. And I'm like, well, it's way too early. There's not gonna be there yet. So he went to go check. He had tears in his eyes and he was like, they're not here yet.

And I was like, buddy, it's still early. It'll come. So I got them finally. It was like before noon. It did come in the morning. And I gave them to him. And it was hilarious because he was looking for a toy. And I was like, I think I found it.

Is this it? And it was the gummy eyeballs. And he goes like this. He's just like, wow. And he runs to the kitchen table, sits down, and I said, what are you doing? And he says, I'm going to eat good food so I can have some of those.

Oh, smart. It was so cute. He just ran directly to the kitchen table. I was like, oh, it wasn't even time for lunch. He just knows that he doesn't get candy unless, you know? Cool. And so all day, he's been carrying around these eyeballs there's 40 of them he unwrapped they're an individual wrapped he unwrapped a bunch of them put him in a cup and carry around went to Trader Joe's he's like I want to bring

my eyeballs just brought them he just carrying around with the Starbucks I hate Starbucks but we have to go there there was only coffee shop around he went to Starbucks brought the eyeballs in there where were you was the only show were you like in in between Phoenix and no no no I went there was only a coffee shop around. He went to Starbucks, brought the eyeballs in there. Where were you? Was the only show, were you like in between Phoenix and Flagstaff? No, no, no, no, I went, there was one right there on Sunset. Oh, it was like literally right around, got it, yeah.

So, so dude, I mean, it's been so funny. I guarantee you right now he's playing with those eyeballs. Has he eaten them? Oh yeah, he tried it, right, yeah, he tried it. What does he think of them? No, he loves them. He's like, these are really good. It's crazy the the

Palate of a kid I know like There's disgusting They smell good, but we I like like I know well No, if you eat one as an adult now you can go like okay, I get it It's good, but I'm not gonna eat this shit. I can't even eat one. Oh really candy anymore Can you what are gummy bears for me? No. I can't even eat one candy anymore. Candy's off for me. No, I can't. Oh really?

I mean, until recently I can't fuck any candy anymore. Sweets I eat, chocolate, forget about it, right? Eat the candy. But yeah, no, I don't do candy with candies. Wow, interesting. Like made in a factory, like a bright green thing. Yeah, sour stuff I used to love, can't even smell it anymore. What about, okay thing. Yeah, it's sour stuff. I used to love can't even like smell it anymore

What about um, okay All right. Well, that's good. It is good. I always wondered why when I was little I was like dad doesn't like just what a What? A loser. I I was just like I don't even understand you how could you not like this? What is wrong with this? And I I do I I still think candy is fucking amazing though. You eat candy No, I don't but I still think it's amazing. I don't eat it, but like. So how do you know it's still amazing then, right?

Well, because I will still try it. Like I tried it recently. Did you have an eyeball? No. You didn't have one eyeball, dude? No, I might, who knows? You haven't yet had a taste of one eyeball? No.

That's crazy to me. The comments just like, eyeballs, eyeballs, eyeballs. Recently I've, it's mostly chocolate I like, but recently I've tried something like sour candies and oh my god, they're just, nothing is as good as the sour candies that are gummy. I'm just like, ah. You still like them. You still like them.

I hate you when I go, ah, the sour watermelons, forget, ah, the sour watermelons, forget it, dude. Interesting. If I had three things to be on a an island I would pick that because not only would that be That'd be one of them the things I would pick because not only would that be oh I get to eat them cuz they're good I'll probably die quicker because I eat too much of them and that's fine because I'm on this island anyway Yeah, totally I I like the I liked the watermelon ones

But the best ones were always a strawberry or the cherry flavored ones. Any red sour thing was what's up. Nah. The more you get into the pink territory, the less good it is. Wait, which sour watermelon? The gummy sour watermelon. The Sour Patch Kids? Well, they're not Sour Patch Kids. You know why? You know he didn't say that word?

Or the Sour Patch Watermelon. He didn't say those words? They don't make Sour Patch... Oh wait, no, they do make them. Yes, and those are good. I'm just asking to specify. Pretty much any kind. Any kind.

Any version of it is really nice. 7-Eleven. Really nice, you know? Really nice. They do a nice job with them. So, you know what's funny though? It's utterly hilarious. Don't really love watermelon.

They're not freaking hilarious. Well, they don't taste anything like watermelon. No, they don't. That's what's hilarious. That is weird, right, right? Very none of those things taste like the thing that they're advertised. Yeah Yeah, it's false advertising. Yeah, we should see it. So but anyway, it's all good So I I was I was I was I didn't need the eyeball. Yeah, but I will so insecure I'm so good. You see my leg or what? There were 40 of them Yeah I see it

There were 40 of them in the bag and he was open He made me open a bunch of we just want to put him in a cup and like he carries them around and then there were eight left in the individual wraps and he was like I Was he I was like all right. Well, you should leave some in the wrappers and he's like why I said so they'll taste better And he was like, what do you mean? And I was like, well, they get stale. He says what does that mean? I said, well, they're not fresh. He says what does that mean? I said so food tastes best when it first come out comes out and then after a few days it'll be stale And he was like, oh no, we'll keep those in a wrapper. I don't want those to be stale and I was like No, no, it's fine. It's okay. It's gonna be okay. You could still eat these. They're just not gonna be as good

It was like it's crazy Anyway, you should have warned him that before you opened 32 of them Well be happy that I warned him at all when we still had some left in the wrappers So don't come at me like that. What I did was good. You could have re-wrapped them up. What I did was good. You could have just re-wrapped a whole bunch of them up. No, you can't re-wrap stuff up.

Yes you can. How? Twist it up. Oh, was it like you unseal? They're all individually wrapped. Oh. Like I said. But I figured they were like twisted up in paper. They're all individually in plastic.

When you assume you make an ass out of you and I, you ever heard that? You didn't, that's not even how, you and I, dude. You M E, fucking doesn't even understand it at all. When you asswee, when you asswee, you make an ass out of you and I. Ha ha ha ha. I'm smart, okay?

Okay. I'm street smart, okay? I'm street smart, forget it. And then I'm also some book smart, but not all book smart and that's fine. Donald Trump. Absolutely Donald Trump. All right, what is this dude? Why is, what is this?

That's what Calvin asked that the other day. You picked it up. What is it though? And the package, he said, what is that? Why is it here? You got it day. You picked it up. What is it though? And the packer said, what is that? Why is it here? You got it. I didn't get this. Yes, we got it sent here.

They're coasters. I bought this. No, you, give me this. You got it sent to you. It's such a bad coaster, it's too tall. No, and it was free and you were like, these are cool. Because the person sent it to you and now you're being a dick.

Oh, somebody made them for us? Yeah, they're great. I love those. All right, so anyway, why don't we start with one of the submissions and we'll do it. Hey guys. In a bunker. Love the show.

Chris, love you. Matt, love you even more. I'm Sam from Montreal. Nice, what's up dude? Quick question. This little paper thing that's, you know, attached to blankets and towels and stuff. I truly believe that it should never touch your upper body, right? I believe that it should be used in a way that it's always on the lower body side. That's not possible.

Lower body side and a friend of mine was like, he was saying the complete opposite. I was like, no. No, that's wrong. And I think I'm right, honestly. So let me know. Hold on. He's talking about the tag?

Yeah, right? And he's saying, like, if you're drying yourself off, that has to be on the bottom? That's what he said. That is such an idiosyncratic thing. He is bonkers for that. I think he's right though, think about it. Why would you, a tag on your upper body is unacceptable.

A tag on your lower body. You're not wearing a towel. But here's moreover, get the tags off of towels. Well yeah, that's the thing. Why is there a tag on a towel? I thought that's what he was gonna say. I was like, he's about to be so right. No, right, yeah, but no, but he.

Because I had never thought that before, but then instead he said something absolutely insane. Well what if they become collector's items? You can't sell them for as much. No, that's, to be so right. No, right, yeah. Because I had never thought that before. But then instead he said something absolutely insane. Well, what if they become collector's items? You can't sell them for as much. No, to think that is crazy. I've never, I maybe have thought that, I've never catered to it. To have someone think that,

and then to have someone think the opposite. Like who, how did you two collide in this world? You two utter fucking stranger weirdos. So Dick, and so so but the craziest thing is to make a video about it and send it anywhere. And to do it like you're in a bunker with no shirt on hiding in a dark corner somewhere. So, yeah, it's just absolutely insane.

And it doesn't, and it simply doesn't matter. Congratulations, it matters zero. If I had to say someone was right, it would be you though. It doesn't make any sense to be like, a tag should only touch your upper body. I think he says lower body because it's like feels further away from him

even though that's not true. Tags should never be near your eyes. Exactly. But hold on, is the other guy saying, no, it should only be at the upper part? Yes. That's weird. That's what I'm saying.

Yes. Of the two of you, you're right. Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. But also, it doesn't matter at all. Neither one of you are right because you're totally both insane. That's a wild thing. And that's crazy coming from the two of us.

For both of us to be like, dude, you're an idiosyncratic maniac. That means you really must be. So see a doctor. That is, how did those two people meet? That is really wild. How did that even come up? Yeah. How did it come up and then one of them was saying it

and the other one was like, oh my God, he's gonna say something I've thought my whole life. And then he says upper body instead of lower body. He's like, what? That's so, the opposite is true. Maybe it just kind of. Even if they're not gay, they should get married

because they're so meant for each other. They should be gay, yeah. I think that that's wild. I think that you're, that's crazy. And I'm glad to teach you the word idiosyncratic because you didn't know it before me. What? I said it and then you go, oh yeah, oh yeah.

I probably haven't used it in a while. And so there you go. Okay. It's a big word. I mean, it's a word everyone knows. So it's all good though. So it's all good. Now everyone knows it.

Because I said it and then you. Everyone just looked it up and now everybody knows. In their dictionary. Wow, remember? We didn't have phones. We could just, we had a dictionary. You know what? I listened to your private record, the last one,

or one of them. Gunna, absolutely, kicked the living shit out of me. It's very interesting and hilarious. Saved it for live on the show. No, and it was really good. And I wanted to say you're very good at speaking. It's crazy. Me?

Yeah. Oh, dude, thanks. Which episode was it? You know a lot of words, but it's beyond that. You know how to use them and you barely stutter. Dude, I don't, dude. And that's wild. I fucking do stuff.

Ba da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. No, I wouldn't describe you as that. That's how I talk. I wouldn't describe you as that. You're right. No, what you said, which is what I said, you're right. Okay, so. No, but that't describe you as that. That's how I talk. I wouldn't describe you as that. No, what you said, which is what I said, you're right. Okay, so anyway. No, but that's cool, man. Thank you very much.

That means a lot to me. So you should, yeah, you should check it out. So I said it was good. I should check it out. It's my show, you know? You should check out that record. Yeah, check out the video. So no, but-

Wait, wait, wait, speaking of that. What is, you might, what is Check It Out and Stuff? Why do I say that? Check It Out and Stuff. What is that from? Isn't that from your friend or something? No, it's from a, it was, wasn't it a comedian? Oh, oh, was it?

It's from Johnny Sanchez, Comedy Central. Johnny Sanchez, wow, what a memory on you, dude. Johnny Sanchez is hilarious. How did you remember that? Check It Out and Stuff, that's him? What'd he do? We say Check It Out and Stuff since we were like, in fourth grade.

That's hilarious. You know Johnny Sanchez? Yeah, he's awesome. Oh dude, we used to die at that. Johnny Sanchez is hilarious. I forgot what that was. That's right, dude. That guy is too funny.

That was hilarious. Yeah. That whole bit. Damn, hell yeah. I did a show with him recently, actually. What a good name, huh? Johnny Sanchez? Yeah, yeah, he's funny.

But anyway. Cool, man. Yeah, so. Thanks. Speaking of shows, there'll be a Memphis and Wichita and Dining Hall. I'm gonna go with the Memphis and Wichita. I'm gonna go with the Memphis and Wichita. I'm gonna go with the Memphis and Wichita. I'm gonna go with the Memphis and Wichita. I'm gonna go with the Memphis and Wichita. What a good name, huh, Johnny Sanchez? Yeah, yeah, he's funny. But anyway. Cool, man. Yeah, so.

Thanks. Speaking of shows, there'll be a Memphis and Wichita and Dallas coming up, chrislea.com, get your tickets. Memphis, the hardest, hardest market to sell comedy tickets in. I'm coming, I'm coming. Why is that? I don't know, dude.

It's so hard to sell tickets. It's so hard to sell tickets in Memphis, it's crazy. Interesting. Is Memphis where Graceland is? No. It is, right? I don't know, I mean, spoke so out of turn. Oh yeah, you know,

Tennessee, Tennessee, Tennessee, Tennessee. You know that shit. All right, so anyway, let's do the next one. What's that from? That's from the song, Tennessee. By who though? Oh wow. Yeah, Memphis. Elvis Presley Boulevard, you know, how about the people who think Elvis is still alive? Hey, no, he's not he would be 120. Okay Still do yeah, they do I swear they do. All right, that'd be amazing to hold on to that. Hey guys

So I'm caught in a little bit of friend drama. It actually is nothing to do with me But I was sorry. what your thoughts are. So I'm going on a trip with eight friends next month. We've had this plan for a while now. Too many. I'm bringing my boyfriend. We've been together for several months, so it's pretty established. My other friend invited her boyfriend of five years. They've had a very up and down relationship. Long story short, he's not coming. She's got pretty eyes.

And then our other friend really wants to bring her new boyfriend of like, I think they've been together like a month. So the only issue is that other girl doesn't want him coming because the one time they met, she didn't get along with him. But more importantly, because she doesn't want to be the only girl

without a boyfriend there. So that I think is just selfish across the board. But I also think it's a little early for the other guy to come. What would you guys think? So everybody's bringing their boyfriend, but one person? Correct. Well, that person should not go, period.

No, that person should get a boyfriend and it should turn into a Sandra Bullock movie. No. You know what I mean? So you're saying she should go single, find a guy there like a central political. No, she should like put out an ad, find a Ryan Reynolds character. The boyfriend ad.

And then they fall in love while all the other couples break up. Right, I see what you're saying. You know what I'm saying? That is so a movie that would come out in 2003. And then mom would genuinely think is as good as The Godfather. Mom?

Mom, our mom. Our mom would think it was okay. And Catherine O'Hara would play the mom. Oh dude, yes. So I think that that's a, that's a... Chicks are so weird man. Well what's the weird part? It's like... Okay. Hey, eight guys. We're going to fucking Vegas. First of all, we wouldn't bring the chicks, okay?

So if we did, all right, I wouldn't know any info about it. It would just be like, I'd show up and be like, oh, where's your girlfriend? And they'd be like, oh, she didn't wanna come. I'd be like, oh, we broke up, oh. It's just like, the things that they busy themselves with is crazy, some broke up. Oh, it's just like the things that they busy themselves with this crazy some of them You're it's like some guys would never be in this situation unless they were

Absolute bitches. They don't care about this stuff. They're just like go it's gonna be fun. It's fun no matter what go You're telling me though if You were going on the trip just for the sake of the hypothetical you're going on a trip with a bunch of your guy friends. One of the guys has a five year long relationship. He's bringing his girl or wife or whatever. Another one has been together for almost a year like her. He's bringing his girl. You're gonna be, there's gonna be two guys that are alone.

Then that fuck, that other fuck who's gonna be alone guys that are alone uh-huh then that fuck that other fuck who's gonna be alone with you just met a girl uh-huh and is like I love her though I'm gonna take her with me. No that guy's a bitch. So that's that's what I'm saying he fucked everything up so the girl that has been dating a guy that's what I'm saying in this case. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I got it. In her case the one who's only been dating a guy a month right fucked up for everybody. Right, but that's so- Because there was a balance.

Well, bro, I gotta tell you something, man. That's only something a woman would do. But that's fucking immaterial anyway, though. It's horrible, yeah. It's so, so silly. Also, I don't know, dude. There are definitely fucking guys that would do that. There are bitch dudes that do that, but as a general thing, women are like,

I don't wanna be the only one, I gotta bring it. Guy would just be like, all right. Generally, but yes, you're right. But why can't you just, like, you just met this person. Yeah. Like the guy's not gonna get butt hurt if he can't come. So like just go and you'll see him when you get back. Well yeah, but we can't tell her that,

she's not the person, so, but yeah. But I'm saying she's asking for, this is the conclusion that I'm coming to. No, the person wanting to bring the person, that the boyfriend that they've only been dating for a month is Fucking it annoying. That's an annoying person. She's fucking it off. Stay home and stay with your boyfriend or Don't or go it's just like they were gonna be the only two there that were they were cool Exactly. Yeah, it was a really good balance

Yeah, two single people two people in a relationship only two boyfriends now. It's all fucked up Your fucking shitty friend fucked it all up. Getting demonetized. Yeah, we got limited views from that one sentence. So yeah, so I think that it's bad. I think it's bad. I think it's all bad. I also, you know what, how about this?

You go on vacation with eight people, something like this is gonna happen. It's too many people. It is too many people. You should have had a rule to be with. They're gonna be so shitty to each other. When you put this together, you gotta be like, okay, no boyfriends or... Yep. Boyfriends or nobody.

Or there's a rule. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Dude, they're gonna be so shitty to each other? Eight women are so shitty to each other. It's not eight women, no. It's four... It's four women. Oh. And three or something. Oh, well that's much better and three or something. You know what I mean?

It's like some of those people. Well, that's much better. Yeah. Okay. I thought that at first too. I get it, I get it, I get it, I get it, I get it, I get it, I get it, I get it. Okay.

But yeah, that one friend with the one month boyfriend fucked it all up by inviting him. That is the person that fucked everything up. Yeah. That person. Yes. Great, congratulations on that person. We figured it out.

Yep. All right, cool. Okay, next one. Now that we figured that out, next one. Your mom hates it when you leave six half full glasses on your nightstand. It's a good thing mom lives on the other side of the country.

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I'm honestly a huge fan of the show, but I'm literally so blood red mad that I don't even have time to give you your just due. I have to get straight to it. And it literally just happened, so it's like fresh and I gotta get this on. My video today is about bad neighbors. Just to give you some context,

me and my wife recently became homeowners. We just purchased a house in New York and we also are expecting our first child soon. Whoa, congratulations! That's awesome. So ever since we got the place, I've been coming home to random strangers playing in my driveway. There's a fire hydrant right in front of my driveway. And I'm gonna give you a picture just to give you some context to show you like what this looks like. But the other day,

I came home and there was a woman and her kids, they had a pool set up in my driveway, playing in and out of the fire hydrant, which was like, you know, I don't like it, but whatever. They had their stuff draped over our step. Like their bathing suits and a bunch of other things. I'm walking in the house and I see her as I walk up the stairs. And she's like, what? I'm like, we live here. This is there's somebody lives here. It is our driveway. And she's like, oh, OK. So I let it go. I step back outside.

She's lighting up a blunt. Oh, she's smoking. And I'm like, hey, the online maybe taking that down. Maybe like a just literally a couple feet like, you know, this is like I was saying before, this is our driveway. She goes, Oh, you're doing too much. She's like, first of all, I didn't even know anybody lived here. But like that's not that's not the point am I trippin? Am I the asshole then that I came home today? And it's a completely new family playing in my driveway So like I don't know what to do wait. I said we're first time homeowners and we need some guidance like that's crazy We situation. All right, the first time homeowners. I understand that you're like wait

This is new to me. So I don't know how to handle that. Yeah, it has nothing to do with this. Everything, all of your instincts are 100% correct and would be universally felt by anyone in that situation, first time homeowners or not. That is, what you're describing is insane. So they're playing in the fire hydrant. Yes, like you do in the summer in the city. But that's illegal, right?

You can't. I think so. Yeah. It has to be. You can't just open the fire. You can't waste water like that. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So like, all of it is bad.

Correct. I mean, what you did was great because you tried to deal with it. If it's being- And you tried to do it in a civil way. Yeah. If it- You could have just straight up called the cops.

You're doing too much is- That's crazy. That's the worst part. I'd pass out. I'd pass out. If someone said, you're doing too much, I'd just skip. I'd pass out. I'd be like, oh fuck, get my wife.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. That's just crazy. We're doing too much, dude. What, what? Why is there another family doing it? Well, here's what I'm gleaning and I obviously could be wrong. What I'm assuming is nobody lived there

or somebody lived there and was never there and families would come by and play like people play in a sprinkler in the fire hydrant, which is a very old school in the city, New York thing to do. But hey, things, here's what pisses me off so much about people. Situations change and when they do,

we all have to act accordingly. We can't be like, oh, I didn't know anyone lived here, so what I'm doing is okay. That's not the reaction. The reaction is, oh shit, I didn't know anyone lived here, so what I'm doing is okay. That's not the reaction. The reaction is, oh shit, I didn't know someone lived here. I'm sorry, I'm gonna go somewhere else. It's like, it doesn't matter what you thought, it makes it okay that you didn't know someone was living there as long as you go,

but like, what the fuck? I mean, if that happens again, absolutely just don't bother with going to the person that's called the fucking house. I mean, if it's another family, then bother with going to the person. Call the fucking cops. I mean, if it's another family, then maybe say that to a person. But yeah, that's crazy. To call the... No, you know what?

Ask for keys to their house. OK, if we're going to be doing this, I need a copy of your keys. Because I live there now, too. Because you live here, obviously. So I live there. you live here as well. We're friends. Yeah, that's crazy. That's like a nightmare.

I would have that nightmare. That's like a nightmare I would have. Very good, very good it is. And I would be like, can you please leave? And they'd be like, well, we've come here forever. And then I would have a 25 minutes conversation and it would just go back and forth. We'd say the same thing back and forth

over and over and over again. But it would only be three minutes cuz dreams don't last Entire dream yeah, yeah, I don't believe that okay, man. Just a Skeptical who told me that I don't remember exactly Still stupid look it up come on. Do you tell me I can't dream for longer three minutes I could do for so long if I wanted to so I had So many fucking dreams the other night That it was just... I don't

like dreams anymore man. I'm over I'm beyond dreams. Poetry! Beyond dreams that's the title. Yeah I have dreams sometimes and I thought I didn't and I did. I thought I was done dreaming and then one night it was so many dreams. So many? Can you explain what it was so many dreams. So many? Can you explain what that means? So many dreams. I had seven different dreams. You woke up and then had a new one.

No, I had different scenes, different settings, different characters in all of those. So what happened was you had one dream. What? Just so you know. What are you talking about? Different dreams are different periods of sleep. A dream is one contiguous sleep. It's not just different things that happen

throughout the course of that entire sleep. How? I don't like that and it's not true. What do you guys think? I've heard what Matt has said. So a dream has to do with the length of it not the content? Not the length. Whether you wake up in the middle of it or not. A dream is, if you sleep for six hours, you're in a dream. The dream that you have is your dream. Whether it feels like eight or one. If you wake up twice and have a dream

each time you have had three dreams. Dude. Even if it's the same dream it feels like. Does that make sense? No it doesn't make sense because if I'm if I have a shirt on okay I'm wearing a shirt here if I put another shirt on I'm wearing shirts yeah I'm not wearing a shirt. You're talking about you're literally doing apples and oranges though, like the expression that comparing apples and oranges. If I have one apple. Shirts and dreams? I have an apple. If I have two apples. Shirts and dreams dude. I don't have one apple. I fucking agree.

John Malkovich. About shirts and fucking apples. John Malkovich and in the line of fire. Dude, I, the director's cut. I don't, I think we could cut the apples in our honesty scene. No, dude, if I dream about ketchup and mustard, and then that dream, that thought goes away. Seeing Martin Luther King Jr. That thought goes away, okay?

And then I start thinking or dreaming of a chair. That's the same dream. Correct, absolutely correct, yeah. What? Now I don't get mad. I get mad. You get mad more than anyone I know. But I don't get really mad. You get really mad more than anyone I know. Okay. In unreasonable circumstances.

Then the Mark XI madness I don't reach too much. Okay. I'm working on Mark XI madness dude. Because that's crazy. It's just the truth. Who said it? How many times, why is that your new thing? Who said that? What do you mean who said it, dude? It's a good thing. It's like the definition of a thing.

I don't know who said it, you know what I mean? All right, and Marco believes it. Look up dream, just look up the definition of dream. And Anthony's on my side, which is a red flag, but. Exactly, I was gonna say that, but I didn't wanna be mean to Anthony. No, I'd be mean. What are we gonna Google here? Just Google definition of the word dream. Nah, we don't definition of dream. And Anthony's on my side, which is a red flag, but. Exactly, I was gonna say that, but I didn't wanna be mean to Anthony. No, I'd be mean. What are we gonna Google here?

Just Google definition of the word dream. Nah, we don't need the dream. Well, I'll tell you who's gonna Google it, you and not Anthony, because Anthony will fuck it up. Our dream's different, he'll just ring. A series of thoughts, images, and sensations occurring in a person's mind during sleep.

Wow. Booyah, booyah, and booyah. It's literally what I'm describing. Thank you, thank you very much. I don't like that, dude. I mean, I don't. I never knew that. I honestly don't really like it either

because it makes more sense a bit, what you're saying. Yes. But it is true. Okay. Okay. Fine. Fair, okay. That's fine.

But it's, you know what it's like, like, think about like, like, think about, oh, I remember when I found out when I was a kid about sex and what a virgin and a not a virgin was. And I was like, a virgin should be someone who's had sex because they did something so they should be labeled as something. And I was like, you're saying a virgin

is someone who hasn't done something? It was so confusing to me. Right, right, right, right, right. So that's what, you should get a type, there should not be virgin, virgin should be nothing. And then when you have sex, you become a fucker or whatever it is. A fucker, yeah, yeah.

A smasher. It's why people get confused about the meaning of the term atheist. Because an atheist isn't something that, you don't believe in something and then become an atheist. It's just, you lack of anything and believe in anything. The atheist version. The atheist version might be a better title than

Shirts and Drain for whatever it was. All right, next one. Hey Matt, hey Chris, I'm Daniel, I'm 20, I love the podcast, I'm from Brazil. Thanks man. What's up man? And I'm wearing a hat inside because my hair is a fucking 6.2 right now. But anyways, I just got a relationship of two and a half years.

I'm sorry to hear it. And... That's hard. The long and short of it is that she went to Canada like 10 months ago. Never came back? and she had she made a friend there that always bothered me always said some stupid shit like first time I met him when I went to visit her in February and he said some joke about wanting to fuck her okay I was gonna say he's Brazilian so you never know if he actually crossed the line or not

she defended him like oh yeah yeah that's fucked up but he always says some stupid shit like that it doesn't mean it right and he's just like that That kept happening and that really bothered me, but yeah anyways when we broke up I know something about this guy that's so true days ago She told me that as soon as we broke up they had sex Yeah, that really fucked you're obviously You're obviously dating a Brazilian as well. That has always been my biggest insecurity. Yeah it sucks man. And yeah I just I don't know what to do right now. Get to step in Morena. I just want to know what you guys have to say like

what can I do to not feel like an idiot for doing like a wasted two and a half years of my life on topros and then as soon as I wasn't convenient for her anymore, threw me out and did the thing that she knew would hurt me the most, you know? No. But yeah, I'm gonna be okay. Yeah, you will be okay. I just wanna know what you guys think about it.

I mean, your wall's too white in the background, but yeah, dude, I know something about this guy so much. Okay, so get out of the way. The amount of sex that he's had, period. He has never once made any other face but resting face during sex. You know that's true. You know he's the one, the whole time. He's never gone, oh, never, no fucking way.

I think something different. Okay, what? I think that he does that thing where he's like fucking, he's just very like, teeth are clenched. And it's just like, and when he comes, he's like starts shaking his head a little bit. And then right at the, as he's finishing coming, he just like melts in tears.

That's stupid, bro, no. Just like, uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh. No, no, no, no, that's not true. Yes it is, dude. Mine is right. No, no, because he's why? Because he's Catholic. And Catholics have that guilt shit when they fuck, dude. Look, dude, it's so, let me just- Because he's Brazilian, you know he's fucking Catholic.

Every Brazilian has ever existed as a Catholic. No, he's not Jewish. Well, no, there are Brazilian Jews. Okay. Because they fled there after the Holocaust. Anyway, during the Holocaust. Mom's part two, dude. But also, what's interesting about that is

Nazis also fled there. So it's kind of interesting, there's like a little mini third Reich there. Hitler is still living in Brazil. Yeah, well those people are as dumb as the people that think Elvis is still in the Gulf. So it is very Brazilian to, because when he said like,

that guy would always say stuff that I don't like, you know, and you're like, okay. But you know, you might be like, he said something about the refrigerator, and I just didn't like the way like he said something about the refrigerator and my and and and I just didn't like the way he was saying it about my little he wanted to fuck her you know yeah yeah I knew because the way he said it he looked at the fridge and then he looked at her and he was like ah you think that

she's a cold bitch okay I'm gonna fuck you up. I also want to put my meat in her like I put my meat in the refrigerator. And so I found out that his girl is Brazilian though when she's like, Oh really we break up? Okay, guess what? I fucked that guy. That is the most brazilian thing to do. Producer told you to kill time. Besides eat meat off of one of those fucking things. Producer told you to kill time Besides eat meat off of one of those fucking things You know, are you crazy bro? That's the most resilient thing next to this besides owning a machete

And having three tank tops but dude for real You said something that something that upset me. You said something in such deep self judgment. Brasil. And it's wrong. Yeah. You said, I don't remember exactly what you said, but it was along the lines of like, what did I do wrong? Why did I waste my time?

What was it that he said? Some version of that, right? Yeah, I was an idiot for two and a half years. I wasted my time. That's not what happened. You don't bad relationships are not what People think of them as wastes of time. They're not waste of time That's not at all what they are and I don't mean like you needed to do that to become who you are That's not what I mean either. It's not like some destiny thing all it is is a thing that you did that you now are a different version of yourself because of.

That doesn't mean you made a fucking mistake or you wasted your time. You know more now and you can move forward in life knowing more about what's good for you, what's not good for you, the kind of person that you wanna be with in your life and the kind of person that you are. These things are really fucking valuable

and you don't just learn them by living and time elapses and suddenly you realize who you are. You learn them by being in relationships that fuck you up, by being in relationships that are good, that slip through your fingers, you don't know what happened, suddenly you're different. All this shit, it's never a waste of time. The way to look at it is,

the series of events that happened to make you into the person that you are now and that person who are now knows way more about everything including yourself and the world and the people in it than you did before. Dude it I'll go one further. Okay. Just because a relationship ends doesn't mean it was unsuccessful. Oh he said it. Yeah, that's definitely true But it was something that I just said and you agree with yeah, but which I did in and be like, oh dang Okay, and then you agree with it because of that's how hard it hits. I don't I don't subscribe to the way that you live which is you

Dictate how everyone should react to every single thing you say, right? I mean, I think that I, I gotta be honest. I think that I know how people should react to stuff. Yeah, no shit. No, but yeah, it's true. It's full of honesty. You're right about what you said about relationships.

Yeah, no, I know. So, yeah, so anyway, I think that it's okay and it will be okay and fuck it. They're good for each other if they did that, you know. Here's the thing. What you don't want to do is you don't want to have the frame of mind that you, it seems like you might have at the end of the video. It made me a little worried. You made it sound like you think, it's true or not you shouldn't think that she did it to hurt you. Because that kind of thinking is is so self like we're putting ourselves at the center of the universe. What very well could have happened is that that guy's a piece of shit and

he's just circling, circling, circling waiting for her to be single and he could have just been like either pressuring her to have sex, and she was like, I just need to have sex with somebody to get over my boyfriend. You don't know. You don't know that it was to hurt you, is what I'm saying.

You don't know that. And even if it's true, it doesn't matter. All you gotta do is focus on moving on. It doesn't matter if they tried to hurt you. Yeah, what's the matter? Fuck them. They're gone. They're not in your life anymore.

Sedeeper. Fuck them. Sedeeper, Sedeeper. Start foaming at the mouth. Fuck them. They're gone. They're not in your life anymore. Sit deeper. Fuck them. Sit deeper. Sit deeper. Start foaming at the mouth. Fuck them. I mean, trying to make sure this YouTube video sees the least amount of eyeballs. Why? Because you keep saying the F word. Oh, dude. I say the F word whenever I feel like it. No, no, no. I know.

And I'm raw. I know you're raw, but I'm just, I'm raw too, but you can be raw and then also, you know, not say the F word so much so we can get to more eyeballs. What if I say instead of F, you seek a F, you g g. Would I still get bad? Fog? Yeah. Probably if you enunciate the G enough. Bug them. Good. Fog. Fog. Them both. Yeah, I guess that's bug.

I guess that's better. Both of them. All right? Yeah, I just think that it's really, really, really crappy that that happened and I'm sorry. Version of that. But she did you a fave. Maybe this will make you feel better, I don't know. A version of that has happened to everybody.

Yeah. It's like a rite of passage, dude. Oh yeah. And now it happened to you, so you can have that little like, what do you call it? Yeah. Thing in your a rite of passage. Oh, yeah. And now it happened to you. So you can have that little like, what do you call it? Yeah. Thing in your belt. Not your belt. Not me. That happened to me. I lay it down, but okay. Nice. I lay it down. Okay. Yeah. It's definitely happened to you. Multiple times. But yeah, I could see how hurt you are. Still lay it down. I'm not

hurt. I am not hurt. And you will absolutely get better. And I'm fine. You know, trying to talk to this Brazilian guy, man. Yeah. All right. Get that body out of here. Hey Morena, take a step. Right?

Worst actor ever. A white guy playing a Brazilian movie in 1949. Yeah, and it was okay back then. And now it's not. And I don't subscribe to that. I don't think that it should happen because I think that white people are represented enough and I think that everyone needs to get their due.

I think no white people should be in movies now, period. This guy has eight of this exact same shirt but all in different colors. Oh, now that's good. Now that's good. Now that's good. Mine was good on the other one. That one's good though.

Thanks, man. All one's good though. Thanks man. Alright. Alright. Mom, Dad, you should shop Amazon for back to school and save some money. See, I'm currently obsessed with superheroes and need all the superhero stuff. Superhero launch box, superhero backpack, but next year it'll be something else. Maybe dinosaurs? I don't know. I'm not a fortune teller. But I can tell you not to spend a fortune and shop low prices for school on Amazon. K, good chat.

Amazon, spend less, smile more. Hey, what up Chris, what up Matt? It's Mickey from El Paso. What's up Mickey? I'm pretty excited, El Paso. I have a lisp, so bear with me. Oh, you're good. I'm 24 years old, I'm currently living at home my parents

My parents are pretty well-off good for you. I have a career like I'm doing pretty well off I'm choosing to be at home double good for you. I want to get more money I want to stack that money to the roof. Oh, yeah, but obviously it's a pretty hot topic of debate for my friends or you know girls I'm trying to like talk to you now They're saying you're 24 years old living with your parents though Like don't you want to mature? Don't you want to grow? And for me, they don't know my scenario,

but should I be looking to move out now? Is there a time that I should be moving out now? I have no relationship. I'm just living at home with my parents. I'm a single child. So any advice, I mean, that will be appreciated. And love you guys. Dude, I don't like, what up, bro, thank you.

I don't, like do whatever you want. If it feels good, do what you do, man. Like you're cutting back on costs, it's definitely hard out there. Also, he said they make their well off, their parents are well off. They do well, he does well. Here's the thing, the reason people say,

why would a 24, like the reason people say 24 year olds should not live at home is because what's implied when people think? About that is yeah, 24 years a fucking loser. That's true Can't get off the couch and can't get a job and can't whatever the fuck can't yeah light a finer That's obviously not what's happening. No, obviously not being said if there's some version that is like Stunting your emotional or mental growth really smart then like you should maybe consider it. We don't know that though. But like. What if he just moved out and the day moved out

he stopped the lisp? He'd be like, oh, oh. Yeah. I'm just saying, I think that it's probably fine. You're 24, you're not 30. You know what I mean? Like if you were 30 something, but it's like why, you know, if you love your parents, everything's fine, who cares?

I think. Yeah, there are a lot, here's what's up. There are a lot of versions of the scenario you're describing that would be weird and not healthy for you. True, true, true. Think those through. If those are not the case, fuck it.

Not everybody has to live by all the same rules that everybody else lives by. Like we are all individuals, we all have to have like a little wiggle room for that individuality, like whatever, man. It's not, if it's weird, it's weird. If it's not though, then it isn't. Yeah, it's true.

It's one of those things that like society says you have to move out when you're at whatever age you think it is, but like if you're just like, it's not weird, I one of those things that like society says you have to move out when you're at whatever age you think it is. But like if you're just like, it's not weird, I like it. Yeah. You're a dick. Then it doesn't matter. Here's the thing though.

It's not weird. It might, if you're like trying to date, it might get in the way. It should get in, it probably will, right? So like if you are trying to get out there and like you're trying to meet somebody and find a serious nature. You should get your own place.

You should probably. Definitely. That's the one thing that I would agree with. Well, no, the one thing that I was actually gonna say, I agree with everything you said, but that is for sure something that you gotta definitely do. Cause a potential partner would be like, oh, I don't know, is that weird?

And you don't need that. Well, you can't go back to his place and stuff. That's like another step. Or you can. And then to his place and stuff. That's like another step. Or you can, and then it's just like, that person's gonna feel weird. Jennifer's here. Yeah. We're gonna bangerang for the first time in our room.

So if you hear anything, it'll be that. Yeah, don't come. Okay sweetie. Let me put my underwear on the doorknob so they know. But here's the thing, they're well off. Maybe they got a gigantro house. That's true, or maybe he's in the guest house. Dude yeah, and there's like a whole separate wing

where he could just be like bangarang and mommy and daddy don't even know. That is true. You know? So, we don't know, dude. We don't know the details. What I, the takeaway though is, it is not necessarily weird.

Yeah. That's it. That's it. It's, what year would you say, at what year would you say it starts getting, not weird, but out of the norm? What would you say? I honestly, I would say like, well it is out of the norm, it's 24 already.

You think so? But I think society agrees that it's just straight up weird across the board, everybody would think it if you're like in your late 20s, definitely 30. 30 for sure, but I would think. But by 24, I think most people are like, oh, you still live with your parents? That's weird. Because the assumption also is that

you wanna get the fuck out of there. That's true, yeah. Who the hell wants to live with their parents after the moment they don't have to, every kid wants to get out of there. I'm not saying you should be the only one. Yeah, no, no, no, do what you wanna do. But when did I, yeah, I guess I did it as soon as I.

Yeah, I was out of there before I was 18. What? No. Ding. I mean, you weren't, you know. Yes, I was. I mean, I was in college, but I was out of my parents' house. Yeah, because you were.

I was 17. When you went to college? Yeah. That's right. The man. Doogie, Doogie Houser? What? Yeah, I'm the man.

Oh, you're like Doogie Houser? Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Bad? No, it was better than you normally would do. I thought it was gonna be abysmal, but good job. Mommy said my- You really wanted it to be like, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, and then you go, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding,

ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, but whatever, that's not what I'm, you know? I wasn't, yeah. Da, da, da, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. No, no, no, no, no, no. Okay. So you do that and we don't like that, okay the vibrato when it's not even in there All right, let's not uh, wow that show. Huh? Remember the intro to that show then? Black and white like oh, there we go. There it is. Hit it. Keep going. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah What What?

Dude, if you made a beat with this. Yeah, I bet it exists though. Come on, let's be real. I don't know, man. What a bad cranking song. It's just so, so bare. Yeah. You know? Now it's getting busy.

Breeze through high school in nine weeks, that's so smart. What a weird... What? Remember when shows used to just tell the whole backstory in the opening credits? Yeah, I know. Crazy. That looks like me as a kid.

Yeah, it does. Except you were an idiot and he was smart. No. That note, that bruh, is not good. Yeah, it does except you were an idiot and he was smart That that note that brawl is not good. I Remembered this show. I was like whoa, dude This shows ill no bro Neil Patrick Harris Max Casella's a pain working dude Oh, yeah, never Neil Patrick Harris came out of the womb with a punch card, dude and never this guy never Stopped working now now I don't

think he's working anything now James sickening yeah I think I died yeah oh man dude what David Kelly I know his son I know one of his sons David Kelly it's that David Kelly yeah David Kelly created with Steven Batchko I thought Stephen Batchko created he did with. Okay, I didn't know that Stephen Botchko, but yeah Botchko no, no, no, no botchko the shit that that some of the times the shit that you do is Great truly. That's truly bad. No, okay Talk to you into it. So so so so

All right, I see the next one. Hey fellas, Matt, who's your friend Chris, I'm your friend. Nice. In no particular order. So, my son was born last Tuesday, he's been in NICU, he's premature. Sorry to hear that. My mother-in-law today decided to say some fucking out-of-pocket shit to my wife. Basically, she said that she hates my wife for choosing the name that we chose and for not getting circumcised. The name that she hates is the middle name which happens to be my first name

and the circumcision thing she said that he's gonna be seen as disgusting by every woman and no woman's ever gonna want him which is super offensive and also I'm not cutting a piece of his dick off. So anyway, I don't know what to do, how to move forward on this cuz I'm pissed right and so is my wife We've been through a lot. So Hopefully my boy comes home this week and I appreciate you guys. Thanks. Your boy will be okay

Appreciate you. What do you do? Is that what he said at the end there? What do I do? Yeah, I do that lady is so out of touch Here's what you do. You don't even do anything. Yeah, true. This woman is almost dead. She doesn't know anything though, but she doesn't know anything. People of a certain age,

and I don't mean you hit that age and then suddenly it happens. I mean, it's different for everybody, but everybody has that age that they hit. Not me. They're just fucking wrong about everything from that point on. At my age, and that was three.

And they just get locked in in their ways and there's no getting through to them about anything. They don't even consider other possibilities. Obviously your mother-in-law hit that. And dude, it's just, let it go, dude. It's meaningless. I wish that we could ask him about the wife, like his wife, like how she's been dealing with it.

If she's totally on his side or what? I mean, she must be totally on his side. Oh, of course she's totally on his side. That they don't like the name they chose? Of course she's on his side. Well, what he said was she now hates her daughter because of what they named the kid. Also, if you really care about the middle name that much and you're

not, bro, I don't even know people's middle name. She's so crazy. I don't even know your middle name. Imagine, imagine, it's Denzel. We're leaving out the craziest part. The kid is in the NICU and she's got the fucking audacity. She's got the tawdryness to get pissed about the middle name that he fucking chose. And the fact that he didn't mutilate his cock-a-rone. Yeah, so Italian. I think that it's just, this is one of those things like

a reaction from somebody that has nothing to do with you. Just phase her, like just don't deal with her for as long as this energy is coming at you what she's proven to you Is that there's like no room for her? Energy totally in your life totally and let that be bruises and pudding like known to you now and a parent and like Align in the sand this was the moment that she proved to us that she doesn't mean You're eating pudding? Diddly dick to us from here on out.

You're eating pudding? What? You're eating pudding? Wait till you hit the bathroom. The proof will be right in the toilet. Wow, took so securitas to get there, you know? Hahahaha That's crazy though, dude. How about some people? Look behind you after you take a shit. That'll be the proof.

Some people do, just... Well, I gotta start using shit. That'll be the proof. Some people do just. Well, I gotta start using that. That's really dope. Old people, shut up, you know? Old people are just unbelievable, dude. The shit that they say. Yeah, I know, I know. They're crazy.

They're out of touch, but they lose their minds. That's it. That's the other thing too. And if you wanna be understanding about it, you don't owe this to her. She's going soft and it's obvious. Nobody does that. Who does that?

To their own daughter. When their newborn child is in the NICU who says, I hate you now because the middle name you chose for your child. Oh, and I hate you now because you didn't get your son circumcised. Women are gonna be scared of him for the whole month. What?

Do yourself a favor. Video record you eating pudding, okay? And then, so you have that video. And then the next time she comes over, right? Make sure you eat the pudding like three and a half, four hours before she comes over, okay? Then the next time she comes over, okay? But you gotta film yourself.

You go to the bath, you bring her in the bathroom, come here, you go bring her in, you sit on the toilet and you wait you have her wait No, no, no, you don't leave No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And you show her the video and you're like, that was three and a half, four hours earlier. So you know the proof is the pudding. You're out of my life. What is happening in that whole like, I'm gonna do that for somebody. I can't wait to do that with my kids.

What proof is in his shit? Like what is the proof? Is the pudding, the proof that she's, she proved to you. You proved to me that your energy has nothing, there is nothing, my life has nothing to do with your energy. So he's taking the expression. Yeah, the proof is in the pudding. As very literal.

Yep, and I, you don't think that's pudding? I knew you'd say that, well check this out. Three and a half, we can timestamp it. Three and a half, four hours earlier, I was, who's that, that's me, and what is he eating? Pudding, great. I mean, would it be so mentally unstable if you did that, you know?

Dude, could you imagine? You're the one to worry about, yeah. If you did that, man, I gotta do that. I'm going to do that. Please don't do that. I'm going to do that. I coined that, by the way. Yeah, no one else would even think of it.

So I know you're going to try. No one else would ever try to steal it. Dude, someone's going to steal that fucking eating pudding, recording it, shitting three and a half hours later and bringing the person that they want to see the proof of the pudding to in the bathroom with them and then pointing to it and then be like, and also I have proof I ate pudding

three and a half hours earlier. I guess what I'm still missing is what's in the shit that proves anything, right? What is the proof that is in the pudding? What are you proving? There's the person, whatever you want. It's a saying. The saying means nothing.

Proof is in the pudding means, well, what it means is there's your proof right there. You showed me. Right? Look, the proof is in the pudding. I guess honestly, he didn't file his taxes. What I'm really honestly realizing is I don't even know what the proof is in the pudding. Everyone get in here. Judge, lawyers, get in here, jury, get in here, get in here.

No, no, don't leave yet. Don't leave yet stenographer, make sure you're getting all this. Okay, get up, now everyone gather around, look at this. I'm talking about, no, no, no, no, no, no. Order, order. Would be in jail. What is that?

That's, that's, if you don't know that there's pudding, oh well check this out. Hold on, where's my phone? Can you go out to actually the kitchen? Jury number five? For contempt so quickly. Go out in the kitchen and grab my phone there. Here we go. Okay, there we go. Hold on, I deleted it. Uh, let me get into the deleted videos. Okay, and I didn't delete it. So there you go. And that is me what? Who is judge? Who's that me eating? What pudding exactly? That is what that is and the proof is in the pudding. I rest my case Court is adjourned. Thank you very much. Your honor

What does the proof is in the pudding mean? Thank you for that There's a really powerful. Yeah, it's like and justice for all remember that the last It was a really powerful performance. Yeah, that's like, and justice for all. Remember that last. Yeah, and you're out of order, and you're out of order. The proof is in the pudding, you know what it means. I don't, I don't.

I have a thing up here. The proof of the pudding is in the eating. What does the proof is in the pudding come from? The proof is in the pudding is an alteration of the older expression from the proof of the pudding is in the eating. Oh, that's like fucking with my head. Why?

I'm getting so tripped up by this. Yeah, wow. The early 1600s. I thought they made pudding in the 1980s. Oh, pudding's been around forever, dude, because it's nothing. It meant that you had to try out the food to know whether it was good.

Ah, yeah, of course that's what it means, dude. Come on. I had to try it out too. Huh. Dude, how about back in the day when they used to just add letters to words that didn't need to be in there. Remains with an E between the N and the S.

That is pretty weird. Work has an E at the end of it for no reason. Where? Oh yeah, that is weird. Anyway, wow, what a weird expression. Bertain? Bertain, yeah. Yeah, anyway.

How about that? Proof is in the pudding, baby. All right, we can also name the episode that should we do one more? sure So Hey Matt and Chris big fan been watching since day one. No question today is Just moved into sales at work. I was in the store room kind of hidden away and now I'm on the floor Selling electronics and should be a good Australian. I've been told I'm a people person, I've been told I'm very approachable and kind.

But in my head, man, I'm crazy, man. I've got six swords. I've just been diagnosed with ADHD, I'm on spectrum a little bit, depression and all this shit. So I just want to know if there's any way I can, anything I can say to myself to help myself calm down because now I've gone from seeing no one every day in the store room to now hundreds of people every day and I can talk to everyone as draining and I just want to know if you had any advice to ensure both of you have met a lot of people and you know you've both been on stage and

stuff so I just want to know if you have any advice on how to kind of get myself through all these social interactions and how to kind of get some confidence. I'm just kind of struggling in my head to pull it together. Anyway, love you both. Love you too. One of those things, I have some advices for you, but it's one of those things that is like,

it creates its own momentum and then you're fucked once it starts to get going. Cause you like, it's like, I've been having trouble sleeping. Now every time I go to sleep, I'm like, I hope that this isn't gonna be a night where this happens and it makes it worse. It's been going on with me. It's real bad. Oh really?

Yeah. It never, it hasn't happened in years and it's happened to me this month and I'm just so miserable. Yeah, it sucks. So, ah man. But here's the thing, medication, here's what it is for me though. The key to all this, no one knows this.

Yeah, they don't know. No one knows this is going on and so much of what we do in our minds, we think other people are like either onto us or can tell or see our discomfort or anxiety. It is not true, dude. Nobody sees it. And even better, nobody gives a shit.

Even if they did see it, they do not fucking care because you're just another person in the world to them. And I mean that's a good thing. I don't mean like you're meaningless. I mean like you're just, to you, you're you. And that's the end all be all. To everyone else, you're just a fucking guy. It is weird though.

Ease up on yourself. It is weird how you can be thinking of things and you could stop yourself from talking something, but you can't really stop yourself. You can stop yourself from thinking something, but it's a lot harder. Yeah, you gotta be an expert level meditation. Thank you, and it's just lot harder. Yeah, you gotta be an expert level meditation shit. Thank you.

And it's just like weird because, you know. Like sometimes people will just be like in this supermarket and I'll see them and I'm like, what if I just walked up this version? I'm like, ugh. And then I'm like, I have to walk away from that person because I'm like, I can't stop thinking about it. I think I'm gonna do it.

It's like people, the common one of that is people get close to, they're up high, they get close to a ledge and they think they're gonna jump off. And it's like, brains are full of constant contradictions and they don't stop for anything. It's also your gift though. I mean, sure, there's a version of reality.

I think that I have a low, low, low level of Tourette's syndrome, that's how bad it is with me. You've said that before. I think you said that recently on the show before. Yeah, maybe. It's just like, I'm like, oh, I'm almost gonna do it. Did I just do it? Did I, oh my, it's like, well,

thanks for bringing this up, buddy. Now I feel like a fucking lunatic, but you, no, I just, it's part of, you know, just you're interesting and it's gonna be weird, but you're gonna be alright. Just know that no one Whatever it feels like you're looking like. No one is seeing it picking up on it And even if they did they don't care So just treat everyone like you're never gonna see him again because guess what you're fucking not. Yeah, it's not like I Keep seeing the same people over and over again and it's like, okay, well. A crazy person, absolutely crazy person.

I never see the real or not. Beavis. Beavis. All right. All right, well, there you go. Good luck to you, I feel bad. I've been there before. Yeah, I'll be in Memphis. Speaking of things that nobody ever wants to say,

I'll be in Memphis and I will be in Dallas and I will be in Wichita and Oxnard, California. I got dates coming up. Go to chrislea.com. Thank you very much. Thank you. Make sure you check out the dates on the Lifeline Live shows in Southern California. They're both going to be bang-a-rang-a-rang-a-ring-a.

And of course, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com slash LifelineLuxury. All the Lifeline Live episodes will be taped and up on that channel, so make sure you are subscribed if you are not already. And subscribe anyway because we've got not only two episodes a month now, but at least three. Thank you very much. Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello,

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