Lifeline - 129. Our Long Lost Sister

Starting point is 00:00:00 The all-new FanDuel Sportsbook and Casino is bringing you more action than ever. Want more ways to follow your faves? Check out our new player prop tracking with real-time notifications. Or have out more ways to customize your casino page with our new favorite and recently played games tabs. And to top it all off, quick and secure withdrawals. Get more everything with FanDuel Sportsbook and Casino. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600.

Starting point is 00:00:23 Visit connexontario.ca. casino. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600. Visit connexontario.ca. So what's it like to buy your first cryptocurrency on Kraken? Well, let's say I'm at a food truck I've never tried before. Am I going to go all in on the loaded taco? No, sir. I'm keeping it simple. Starting small. That's trading on Kraken. Pick from over 190 assets and start with the 10 bucks in your pocket. Easy. Go to kraken.com and see what crypto can be. Not investment advice. Crypto trading involves risk of loss. See kraken.com slash legal slash ca dash pru dash disclaimer for info on Kraken's undertaking to register in Canada. It's a new day. How can you make the most of it with your membership rewards points?

Starting point is 00:01:01 Earn points on everyday purchases. Use's the powerful backing of American Express. On eligible cards, terms apply. Learn more at mx.ca. Hello, hello, please. Hello, hello, hello. Know what, sometimes I say my dad to you. Yeah. And that's okay. And I don't, are we going by the way? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:01:37 And I don't want you to, hey. What's going on? I'm texting mom back, hang on. I sometimes say, my dad to you. Yes. And that's okay. Because sometimes there have been like two times where you've been like, it's my dad too,

Starting point is 00:02:02 why do you say my dad? And that's over and I get it. And you're right. It should always be our dad. We're starting. Oh, this is it. Yeah. Start the clock.

Starting point is 00:02:13 And, uh, and it's okay that I do that. So don't, don't do that anymore. And you haven't done it for a while and it's fine. And it's not your fault, but I is something that I don't want to hear anymore and I'm creating a boundary. And it's, you know, so you're act what you're creating besides the boundaries, you're creating a problem when there was not. You're right.

Starting point is 00:02:31 You're right. Yeah, you're right. I am. It's great. It's great what we did there. But I established there is great. I don't mean to. I just have it's every time I say my dad, which is every now and then to you. I think about the times you've said that, which were a long time ago. And how come you don't do it anymore? Sounds like a you problem, doesn't it? How come you don't do it anymore?

Starting point is 00:02:49 We're gonna file that under a you problem. No, don't say that. You're not a mom. We're gonna file that under a you problem. Get the filing cabinet out. So, so, go so far with it. Why don't I do that anymore? Drag on the bit. Because I, probably because I... You know it's not worth it? No, probably because I've turned into somebody who understands that people make mistakes interest and I don't really Okay hold it against people anymore that they do. That's cool because I make them too, you know, yeah, that's cool. Yeah. All right I mean, that's fine. So I'm not so about a bigger mistake. No sure. Yeah, go ahead I don't think it's gonna be mine. I think I know which one yeah It's not gonna be yours and it's gonna be yelling my I don't think it's gonna be mine. I think I know which one you're gonna have. Yeah, it's not gonna be yours. And it's gonna be, yeah, they might schedule up,

Starting point is 00:03:27 but there's gonna be, so Chris, the producer, ordered food for us as he does normally before we show up, we eat. We show up with an empty stomach. Yeah, we specifically don't eat because we know we're gonna eat here. Especially today more than any other day. Because it's a cusp time.

Starting point is 00:03:44 Because it's a cusp time. Because it's a cusp time. We're starting at a cusp time. Why would you say that? We're starting around noon, that's a cusp time about meals. It's on the cusp of two different meals, breakfast and lunch. Eating at noon is weird.

Starting point is 00:03:56 Are we gonna eat? It's not a cusp time. It is a cusp time. Well, it's lunch, no? No, it's a little early for lunch. Yeah, you're right, okay, yeah. A little early for lunch. I don't know if I'd say it's a cusp of time, but still.

Starting point is 00:04:05 It's a cusp of time to me. It doesn't matter. No, it doesn't matter. Because what matters is. What he did matters. We always show up on an empty stomach. Because we eat. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:04:14 And then we do the show. Correct. Now today, more than any other day, I purposely didn't eat. Do you know why? Because I still come from Westlake. And I'm judging the time to try and get here. I got here't eat. Do you know why? Because I still come from Westlake and I'm judging the time to try and get here. I got here way early. I was like, I could eat, but good thing

Starting point is 00:04:31 I've got a great meal coming before I go, right? Get here. I get here early. I hear him say, oh God. Right when you got here? Yeah. I go, what? He says, I ordered the food to San Diego

Starting point is 00:04:47 unbelievable, alright, so now I go that's terrible because He was in San Diego and he didn't change the location of Postmates, which is that's so crazy Let's just talk about how utterly insane that's so crazy Let's let's break down how not break down how wild that is to do. Now, if you're gonna do it, it's really not that wild to do it by mistake, but to not realize it immediately after, to me is unforgivable.

Starting point is 00:05:24 To even start to list the reasons is like, what are we doing here? It's like, why is it wrong to stab someone in the neck? Like, what do you want me to list out the reasons? Well, I do have reasons. So go ahead. No, I'm saying the reasons why it's wrong and bad and unacceptable is so many, you might as well not.

Starting point is 00:05:40 The list is too plentiful. Well, what it is is uncanny, right? Okay, well, okay, go ahead and defend yourself. I mean, you know. Starting with uncanny, go ahead and explain. Uncanny. Explain why, how it happened, go ahead. Okay, so I was in San Diego for TwitchCon.

Starting point is 00:05:53 Right. And that was the last time I ordered food was there, okay? So sure. Postmates documentary. So now on my Postmates at the top, it says, very small, it says the address where you're being delivered to. It's not that small, everybody has Postmates. It says, very small, it says the address where you're being delivered to. It's not that small.

Starting point is 00:06:07 Everybody has Postmates. It's not very small. It's a phone. It's just in the upper left. It's in the upper left of the phone. It's in the upper left. Usually, when you're not geo-located near that address, it says, hold up, you're nowhere near here.

Starting point is 00:06:18 Do you have the right thing? And it's made me not order food to the wrong place before. Looks like you're far away from this place. Yes, exactly. They didn't do that. That was not there. Or at least I didn't see it. It was there.

Starting point is 00:06:29 It was there. It was there. Here's what. Oh, no. You know what? It didn't happen. Because when I went to order the food again, it wasn't there. OK.

Starting point is 00:06:37 OK. OK. I believe that. So yes, I did. And the other reason it's uncanny is that there's a fucking Zinke in San Diego, too. That happens to be what we order from. Zinke.

Starting point is 00:06:47 Yeah. And that's the meal we ordered in San Diego. Oh, all right. That's that to me that the last part is something. Okay. But still, it's really, really moronic because it sucks. Afterwards you look and you see, oh, they're picking it up in downtown San Diego. It says Zinke is preparing your order and you look where and it's at the

Starting point is 00:07:13 gas lamp district. Correct. It looks the same. It's we're in downtown LA and it's a grid in San Diego. Downtown San Diego is a grid dude. Okay. So I mean, so is every city, but yeah, I'm doing a lot and I just, it was done and I put the phone away. I didn't sit and look at- That's fine. It's fine.

Starting point is 00:07:30 Whatever. It's just lunacy and it's maddening, especially since today I specifically more than any other day decided to make sure I didn't eat. I think the part about you specifically making sure you didn't eat today is actually lessening the point. Here's where I get pissed off.

Starting point is 00:07:42 It's making the point worse because it's making it about you. When it has nothing to do with you, it's purely about him. And wouldn't you know it. And the pure idiocy and lunacy of what he did. Right, but I'm adding up, and wouldn't you know it. It's like making the story better. That's a wouldn't you know it.

Starting point is 00:07:54 Yeah, yeah, that is a wouldn't you know it. I think we all came the most hungry today, including myself. But anyway, despite all of that, I'm sorry. I totally, it's my fault. And this is what we like. It's totally stupid. And this is what we like. It's totally stupid. And this is what we like. And this is what you're like.

Starting point is 00:08:06 And this is what makes, this is what makes us know you have an appendage hanging in between your legs because no woman would ever do that. Chris. Knew that was coming. Knew something like that was coming. Why I thought I took accountability.

Starting point is 00:08:17 Because everything that you say has something like that coming at the end. Well, it's a joke, right? So we know. Okay. But you know, sometimes jokes are, you know. Walking back to the fact that it's a joke. We know because you got two nuts under you and an appendage

Starting point is 00:08:33 in between your legs. Two nuts under you, you know. And so. Ha ha ha ha! A squirrel. So anyway. A greedy squirrel. I will be in Birmingham, Alabama, Montgomery, Alabama,

Starting point is 00:08:45 Mobile, Alabama, Toronto, and I think maybe Sioux Falls. Yeah, Sioux Falls, Bismarck, North Dakota, Oxnard, California, we're doing the live show here, Lifeline Live. Stay and get our Patreon for that. Patreon.com slash Lifeline. If you can't make it, get on the Patreon because that's where we drop it.

Starting point is 00:09:05 And then I will be in Brea, California doing shows at the end of December. Go to chrislea.com for tickets. And yeah. Did you want to talk about anything that you want to talk about? Or did you want to get into it? Or did you want to keep on getting mad at him for that? Uh, I want to talk about the fact that I wear contacts so often now. So friggin' boring.

Starting point is 00:09:29 How about that? No, how about that? Everybody's so used to me wearing glasses, nobody's used to this. Check this out everybody. It's why I can wear the whole thing. Well, you're still wearing glasses though. No, I'm not. You're wearing sunglasses.

Starting point is 00:09:37 Right, but to see, those are not prescription. Right, I know, but you're still wearing glasses, so to us it's the same. Okay, but I took them off and now what am I doing? Now you're not wearing glasses. I don't have glasses on. But every now and then I took them off. And now what am I doing? I don't have glasses on. So every now and then you don't take your glasses off. Check out me in the Oakleys again. And down and dirty. What's that show called on HBO?

Starting point is 00:09:53 He's found it down and dirty. Dude, I look so good in these Oakleys. No, absolutely not. Tastic. Actually, let me go. Those Oakleys, I understand that style. I don't hate that style. Those Oakleys are terrible. They are nuttastic, dude.

Starting point is 00:10:11 All right. They are utterly nuttastic. You should get the mirrored kind. This is just the beginning. All right. Nobody even understands. Everybody's like, oh, Matt's wearing Oakleys now. Ha, he's not funny.

Starting point is 00:10:22 He looks like this. Matt's got a baggy t-shirt on. Ha, ha, ha, ha. He looks like this. You guys have this. Matt's got a baggy t-shirt on. Ha, ha, ha, ha. He looks like this. You guys have no idea what's coming. Pretty soon, I'm going to be tripping on the bagginess of my t-shirts. Orko.

Starting point is 00:10:31 Pretty soon, you're going to be seeing reflections of yourselves in the lenses of the Oakleys. Poetry. Poetry, dude. And you're never going to see the same pair of Oakleys, because I'm always going to be wearing new Oakleys, new Oakleys, new Oakleys, new baggy shirts, new baggy shirts, new baggy shirts.

Starting point is 00:10:43 The worst goals. And guess what? If you don't like it, take it straight to your new Oakley's, new baggy shirts, new baggy shirts, new baggy shirts. The worst goals. And guess what? If you don't like it, take it straight to your mama. It's nuttastic. Okay. Wow. I mean, that was the worst wrestling promo you cut ever right now.

Starting point is 00:10:54 And if you don't like it, take it straight to your mama. It's nuttastic. Oh, we're gonna go with the Barbara beefcake. How about Brett the Barbara beefcake? Yeah, just the greatest wrestling ballpark. Could come up with any names back then and never Beefcake. All right. How about Brett the Barber Beefcake? Yeah, it's a great festival. Could come up with any names back then and never be like, all right. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:11:09 I mean that voice. Yeah, I know, isn't that crazy? All right. All right, let's get into it. Yeah. I just have to bring this up. Someone submitted a question about like a wedding gift and like something about paying for their meal.

Starting point is 00:11:22 You guys like went in. We went in on him. Think strong. Why. Yeah. And you guys like went in on him. We went in on him. People united us. Think strong. Why? Whatever. And I'm like, I am confused at you guys because I was raised in New Jersey as well,

Starting point is 00:11:33 an Italian family, I think similar to you guys. And that was like the thing. I believe that's all I heard my parents talk about. Anytime you go to a wedding, you're like, oh, you're paying for your meal like that never heard that whatever the bride and groom paid for I Hear the headcount of each person like you're as a guest like covering I

Starting point is 00:11:56 Hear you covering that I never heard that and I feel like I'm in such a like Jersey Italian thing Yeah, so I was just like so confused that you guys had never heard of that. Unless you had heard of that and you just think it's stupid because I think it's stupid too. Yeah, great. But I don't know, I just had to say that. I had no idea. That's interesting.

Starting point is 00:12:16 I didn't know that. It's interesting, it's one of those things sometimes things slip through the cracks. I met somebody who had never seen an episode of Charles in Charge. What are you crazy? Making it so it's not about him. Sometimes it slips through the cracks. Sometimes things slip through the cracks for some reason. You met somebody that has episode of Charles in Charge. What are you crazy? Making it so it's not about him. Sometimes it slips through the cracks.

Starting point is 00:12:25 Sometimes it doesn't slip through the cracks for some reason. You met somebody that has never seen Charles in Charge, it's not a slip through the cracks thing. That's crazy. It's absolutely mental. How old was the guy? He was seven. How old was the guy?

Starting point is 00:12:34 He was like my age. Well, I mean, I was gonna say our age, but I'm way younger than him. That is not a slip through the cracks. It's crazy. Slip through the cracks, dude. It's like Mandela effect. He didn't even know what Charles in Charge was.

Starting point is 00:12:43 You know what's a Mandela effect? What's that? That's where you think something is something and it's not that thing and it's a different thing, right? Worst description of all time. What? I mean that's... Kazam and Shazam, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:12:53 Okay, dude. So many people come up to me. I have created a Mandela effect. Okay. Go ahead. Okay. My bit, my drunk girl's bit. They think it's, what do you say? They think it's, it's your alligator,

Starting point is 00:13:08 it's your alligator, it's not. It's a crocodile. What, what, okay. Okay, you know the bit? Yeah, I know the bit, but I don't know it by heart. Right, but you know what I talk about, does your crocodile? Oh, maybe.

Starting point is 00:13:17 Kind of vaguely, you remember, you remember, you know it, it's a classic bit and you have it tattooed. But, but, but dude, every single person comes up to me and says, alligator. Every single time it's commented online, it's a classic bit and you have it tattooed. But, but, but dude, every single person comes up to me and says alligator every single time it's commented online. It's alligator. And I never said alligator. I created a Mandela effect. Interesting.

Starting point is 00:13:36 I am. And when I say interesting, I mean, utterly uninteresting. I'm influential. Got it. So, but yeah, this is interesting. It's slip through the cracks, just like my friend who never seen Charles in charge. But that's not a slips through the cracks thing

Starting point is 00:13:44 is not seeing Charles in charge, dude. How about how this is interesting. It's Slips through the Cracks, just like my friend who never seen Charles in Charge. But that's not a Slips through the Cracks thing is not seeing Charles in Charge, dude. How about how fucking jingles used to be? That was kind of a, Charles in Charge of our days and our nights. And I want, Charles in, Charles in, Charles in. We should go over all of the ones we can think of.

Starting point is 00:14:01 It's actually kinky if you think about it. What's kinky? Charles in, I want Charles in charge of me. Oh yeah, it's like S&M kinda. Yeah. Yeah, it is a little bit, yeah. Sadomasochism, huh? Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:14:13 Tie me up on, you know what I mean? Yeah, I do. Yeah. On the bedposts, spread me out. Yeah. Please, I need water. I would do, I would have had a. We should have had a safe word. Banana banana it's banana. I want. It is a little bit that yeah. But to what she was

Starting point is 00:14:38 talking about I don't know what to tell you. It's it the bottom line is it's a bad way to think of it. But I understand that it's a thing that it was so ubiquitous for you growing up. I know big words. That you don't know how we didn't hear about it, too. Maybe we did. It just slipped through our cracks. I honestly. It somehow slipped through our cracks. Yeah, maybe. Stop saying slipped through our cracks. It slipped through our cracks somehow.

Starting point is 00:15:01 It sounds sexual. You know, slipping in my crack. Making everything into a sex thing. I forget the safe word and I want Charles and I can't remember. Custard was it? Custard I hope it is because otherwise I'm just saying custard. Getting slammed.

Starting point is 00:15:18 Custard would be such an upsetting safe word. It's so gross to think about during sex. Custard? Custard. Custard, custard, custard, custard, custard. Custard is just a disgusting thing. What is custard? I don't know.

Starting point is 00:15:29 It's in clue. What is it though? It's like an English delicacy. It's a killer, one of the killers in clue. English people have no idea how to eat things. I got roasted for saying that one time. No. English people make bad food.

Starting point is 00:15:39 Dude, yeah. No, they do. I know, but it's like a thing. It's like a stereotype. English people have fucked up food. Don't care. But I got hammered for it. Oh, you never had an English breath's like a stereotype. English people have fucked up food. Don't care. But I got hammered for it. Oh, you never had an English breakfast.

Starting point is 00:15:47 You never had proper English breakfast. Shut up. Yeah. You know what they were doing? They were saying that eating beans in a tomato at 10 a.m. They were saying. Here we go. Custard is a variety of culinary preparation based on sweetened milk, cheese or cream cooked with egg or egg yolk to thicken it.

Starting point is 00:15:59 So dairy. That's like so dairy. That's disgusting. I mean, the most dairy thing of all time. Oh, it is a sweet. It's like so dairy. That's disgusting. I mean, the most dairy thing of all time. Oh, it is a sweet. It's like an actual dessert. A sweet so far. It is a sweet. I didn't know if it was a sweeter or if it was a savory.

Starting point is 00:16:16 Who cares? Oh yeah, who cares? Ah ha ha ha. All right, let's do it. When is the correct time to fill up an ice cube tray with water? I believe it is when you take an ice cube out you immediately fill that space with water So that there is always a full frozen tray of ice in the freezer Also, I think I'm your long-lost sister

Starting point is 00:16:41 also, I love when you guys talk about 90s music, especially grunge and hip hop and alternative. All of it. And cut! She's awesome, first of all. That was our long lost sister. Hello. She's awesome. Crazy.

Starting point is 00:16:59 She's driving with no hands. That's amazing. But she's awesome. How quick she is. She's talking about the thing. And what did she, what was her question? The ice cube tray. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:17:12 Okay, I think it's crazy. But I really like how staunch she is about it. Like I like that. But that's bonkers. You know what? That's the thing you would say though, and you're fucking crazy stupid too. That's what I'm saying. that's why I like her.

Starting point is 00:17:25 But let me just say this. Don't, don't ever fill up an ice cube tray. Why would you? You have to, if it's empty. You don't though. You can just get ice or have ice being made in your fridge. Such a rich guy, dude. I know, I understand.

Starting point is 00:17:41 What a dick fuck. Get a better fridge, get a better fridge. What a dick fuck you are. Get a better fridge, get a better fridge. What a dick fuck you are. Get a better fridge. Like what an entitled fuck ahead. Order, work harder, get a better fridge. That's so stupid. That's honestly should be on a t-shirt.

Starting point is 00:17:56 Ice cube trays. Work harder, get a better fridge. Only get filled up when all of the cubes are gone. The end. I'm joking, okay? About what? You kind of made it real about how like I was being- Okay, go ahead.

Starting point is 00:18:08 A rich fuck. You were being a rich fuck. But I was joking though. Okay. But also, work hard, get a better fridge. So you're not joking? I mean, dude, it's a great saying. It's inspirational.

Starting point is 00:18:22 It's fucking something that Tony Robbins would do. Work hard, get a better fridge. That's like not at the top of anyone's list, you know? Work hard, relax on the ice tray. Work hard, relax on the ice tray, get a better fridge. Work hard, get a better fridge, relax on the ice tray. Ruining the catchiness of the phrase. We're ruining how bad the already bad saying was.

Starting point is 00:18:43 So the only thing to say to her query is you fill up the ice tray when it's entirely empty. Never before that. No. And you never leave one out. If you're the one that takes the last ice cube. I disagree with you. You better, you best be filling that shit up.

Starting point is 00:19:01 Bro, if there's one ice cube left and you take the last ice cube, your whole family is in ruins. Everything you do is awful in life. You need to have a few ice cubes left for a drink. You put one ice cube in a fucking drink, your whole family is in ruins. There's a second part to this though. If you put it back with just one ice cube in it,

Starting point is 00:19:21 you are a demented crazy person. So don't fill it up when they're all gone. Fill it up when they're not all gone. Fill it up more along the lines of how many are gone. If I say if half are gone, fill up the other half. You know what? Really? That's crazy.

Starting point is 00:19:34 You know what else you could do? What? I have two things I want to say. First of all, fuck you guys. You should get a receptacle to dump the fucking ready ice in and so you know what I mean? And then you can keep it. Oh, that was the rich guy. What if they can't afford a receptacle?

Starting point is 00:19:44 Or a receptacle is $2. Work harder, you can keep it. That was the rich guy. What if they can't afford a receptacle? Or a receptacle is $2. Work harder, get a receptacle. That's a great quote, honestly, for a shirt. And then the second thing is like, you can buy an ice maker on the TikTok shop now for like fucking 25. There we go, rich guy, do it.

Starting point is 00:19:56 Work harder, get an ice cube tray maker on fucking TikTok. Ice cube tray maker, you know? That's a great, work harder, get a receptacle, work even harder, get a ice maker on tiktok. That's affordable. Work even harder. Get a better fridge. That's an awesome. You could do it like Crosby stills and that's those stupid shirts that have the fucking, you know, I hate those fucking. What is that? I don't know what that is. What are those shirts? Pull it up. No, it's just.

Starting point is 00:20:26 I'll never find it. No, dude. Anthony won't find it so hard that when you said pull it up, Anthony literally goes like this. Yeah. Turned away from the computer. Had to find his computer first.

Starting point is 00:20:38 That's how hard it will be for him to find it. Wait, what's the screen part? That's him. What's it called? It's not called anything. Crosby Stills Nash shirt. It's not gonna come up. Let's see.

Starting point is 00:20:51 It's a style of shirt that is hip now. That's cool that people get that I hate. No, see, it's not that. It's, okay. It'll be like, it'll try to be cute. Like it'll say Logan, Scott, Xavier, yada yada and those are the X-Men. Yeah, I know what you're talking about.

Starting point is 00:21:13 It's not that, no, you know what I'm talking about? The style of shirt? Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, got it. And I don't like those shirts. Yeah, those are bad, yeah, who would ever get that? So here's the deal, here's something great about fridges. Want to know something great about fridges?

Starting point is 00:21:27 Just because I'm fucking like an encyclopedia with all this bullshit. Sure. OK. Looking for a path to accelerate your career? Clear direction for next level success? In a place that is innovative and practical? A path to stay current and connected to industry? A place where you

Starting point is 00:21:46 can be yourself? You will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue.yorku.ca Upper Canada College inspires boys from senior kindergarten to year 12 to find their passions and realize their potential. An IB world school, UCC offers a supportive environment, cutting-edge facilities and a best-in-Canada financial assistance program. UCC, a place where tradition, excellence and innovation meet. Learn more at our open house events on October 15th and 16th. Register now at causeandeffect.ucc.on.ca. Prime Big Deal Days is coming October 8th and 9th.

Starting point is 00:22:33 With exclusive savings just for Prime members, involuntary deal squeals can happen, like the deal on new running shoes squeal, the deal on a new shoes squeal, the deal on a new blender squeal, or the infamous deal on a new massager squeal. Save big on electronics, fashion, and more this Prime Big Deal Days, October 8 and 9. We bought a house.

Starting point is 00:23:04 The fridge just straight up doesn't work now. Oh, I knew that. You know, when you get a house, you you get inspectors. OK, the inspectors come in and tell you what doesn't work. The inspector didn't tell us that the fridge doesn't work. Yeah, that's that's that should be a reason for the entire deal to fall apart. The other dude. First, I didn't even know this. Do you know how much a fridge is? Yeah, I's that's that should be a reason for the entire deal to fall apart. The other dude, first, I didn't even know this. Do you know how much a fridge is? Yeah, I mean, I know it can be.

Starting point is 00:23:29 Yeah, like the high end is crazy. You know, 20, 20, 20 grand. Yeah. So you want to buy a fridge or a Porsche and yeah. And so she's just 20 grand. So I'm like, oh, well, because I was like, well, let's just buy a new fridge. And then they're like, it's 18 grand. I'm like, what? OK, so I'm like, OK, hold on. Do we have like insurance or anything like this?

Starting point is 00:23:52 And what about the inspector? Because now I'm like, this is bullshit. Yeah. You know, and and they're like, well, the inspector didn't said it worked. And then we got a guy come out to check the fridge. He said, there's no way this fridge worked for the family before. It's been broken for a long time. I know I'm a fridge master.

Starting point is 00:24:10 And he's been working on fridges for 17 years. I believe him, yeah. He needs to either, we need to either get the fridge fixed or buy a new fridge. Yeah, that's how it works. We gotta get the fridge fixed. You know how much it is to fix a fridge? Probably. Half of that.

Starting point is 00:24:22 Yeah, right. Okay. So I'm like, oh, for fuck's, just get a new fridge. The guy goes, no, you shouldn't do that. And I was like, why? And he said, because new fridges are way worse than old fridges. So now I'm like, this guy's a conspiracy theorist. I might as well hook him up with Anthony. I agree with that guy.

Starting point is 00:24:40 That's a sick thing to say. So I'm like, that's crazy. Why? He's like, the computer system. And I said, what do you think about pizza gate? And he's like, it's completely real. I'm getting a gun to go in your DC. He says, you know Anthony, I agree with him.

Starting point is 00:24:51 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, so, so I say, oh wow, really? Is it real or not? And they're like, really? So I call my realtor, my realtor says, yeah, no, it is true. Old fridges are better than new fridges. So I go, fuck, now I'm in a real dilemma. Damn.

Starting point is 00:25:03 Cause also I want to have a new fridge. It would look dope. New fridges aren't as good as old fridges. But than new fridges so I go fuck now in a real dilemma. Damn. Because also I want to have a new fridge it will look dope. New fridges aren't as good as old fridges. But it's too much also so I'm like I guess I'm gonna have to pay seven grand and just he's gonna gut the fridge and fix it and then I go like this yeah but what if I pay for it and it still doesn't work and he goes like this I've never knocked face to fridge. Oh I trust that guy without with all my heart. Do you know how dope that is? Yeah, I do. I'm like, so I trust how long you've been working. He says 17 years and I go alright Yeah, he said I've never not fixed a fridge and he said this is what he said I've never not fixed a fridge fridge fridge. I've never not fixed a Viking fridge

Starting point is 00:25:37 like Doubling up like I never not fix a fridge and like oh boy. This is a Viking. I've never not fixed a fight Yeah, yeah Viking. I'm like at it. Yeah. Yeah, Viking forgot. I'm like, yeah. All right. So so that's what's going to happen, I guess. Well, that's why it's so expensive, though. The Viking shit. Obviously, it's not a fucking fridge you'd buy at a yard sale, man. It's me we're talking about, dude.

Starting point is 00:25:56 I give you 150. The fridge snob over here. Fucking it's obvious. It's obviously not a fucking yellow one. You know what I mean? Well, like it's stainless steel. Oh, there's also there's also another fucking part that is on top of it that isn't even,

Starting point is 00:26:10 doesn't even belong to the fridge, that is a different part that they put there that the owners know doesn't belong there. They really fucked me, man. What are you talking about? They fucked me out of the fridge money. What you just said makes no sense, dude. Do fridges usually come with houses?

Starting point is 00:26:26 Yeah, they do. Yeah. In California, at least. I don't know how it is. Really? Different places, yeah. Yeah, man, get over it. Why? Ha ha ha! Lighting and electric,

Starting point is 00:26:36 and it's part of lighting and electric. You son of a bitch. Yeah, Anthony, get over it. All right, so anyway, halfway is the ice tray thing. Half way. That's too, that's crazy. No, it's not because, dude, you're fucked if you want ice.

Starting point is 00:26:51 Refilling the ice tray is like making a bed. Nobody wants to do it and it's gonna get done. So do it at the last minute. I completely disagree. Refilling an ice tray is so easy. Making a bed takes a long time. I hate it all. It's not that bad.

Starting point is 00:27:04 What she's doing is respectable and that's nice. What she's doing is cocoa crazy. It is crazy but it's respectable. Cocoa crazy go nuts. Okay, next. Okay, next. Do I know this guy? We know this guy.

Starting point is 00:27:17 Gonna cook some breakfast. Oh, so boring. This guy deserves his own cooking show. Emeril. Oh God, you know. What are we looking at? I don't even know what that is. I'm gonna cook some breakfast

Starting point is 00:27:28 and he fucking lit up a Snickers bar. Bro. So bad. Don't do it. Fuck out of here. Hey. That's it? Crazy people. That was it? Crazy people in the world, huh?

Starting point is 00:27:38 Dude, why did you send us that? Why did you show us that? I get why he would show us this. To show us the wheel, the gamut of the maniac. But that's not, we have no advice for you. Give up. How about this? Yeah, I do. Give up.

Starting point is 00:27:50 I have advice. Change your eating habits. Don't eat that for breakfast. I got news for you. There's another bullshit one in here too. Oh no, dude. All right. Let's keep them going.

Starting point is 00:27:58 I should have kept it to one. Okay, go. And you shouldn't order the food from San Diego. But you're making mistakes all day. You might as well stick with it. Get them all out of the way today. Go ahead. Oh, hey, Rob. Go. And you should order the food from San Diego. But you're making mistakes all day, you might as well stick with it. Yeah. Get them all out of the way today. Go ahead.

Starting point is 00:28:07 Oh, hey Rob. He's dick to it. All right guys, I have a problem at work. Oh, it's Rob. Don't know what to do. Jon Snow. So a few months ago, I sent him a boss, have you tried this new donut shop?

Starting point is 00:28:15 He said no. I said, have a look at their menu online. Which one would you have? I'm gonna go in and get some. He told me which one he wanted. I walked in town, picked up the donuts, came back, gave him a donut. He said, I'll take you home and I'll share it with my daughter tonight. He has this thing with his daughter.

Starting point is 00:28:28 It's kind of cute when he shares food with her. Okay. Next morning I says, how did you like your doughnut? He says, oh, we both loved it. Nice. And I thought that was the end of it. Then two, three weeks later, I'm looking everywhere for a pair of rubber gloves. I'm looking at all the cupboards. No one's in the office. It's only me. I thought my boss has got some. I looked in his bottom drawer. Here's the donut box. I said, Oh, no, surely not. Surely not. Opens up the box and hears the donut hasn't been touched. What the fuck am I supposed to do with this information? Get it. How long is that donut going to sit there before he fucking bends it? Exit. Hold on. That's wild. I'm a little bit confused. You're confused because it's crazy. No, the accent was hard.

Starting point is 00:29:08 Okay, not for me. I heard every word. I'm really good at this. Same? Okay, no, obviously not the same. But what did he say? I get it, I get it kind of, but explain it. I mean, the short version is he got his boss a donut

Starting point is 00:29:21 because he wanted to try something from the donut shop, is what the boss said. Right. He brought his boss a donut just to try one out. Said, great, I'm gonna take it home to share with my daughter tonight. It's the thing he does with his daughter. He reports back the next day. We both love the donut.

Starting point is 00:29:39 He's looking for something in the office. He can't find it. He goes to look in his boss's office to find it. And the donut's still there. And he finds the donut still there. So he lied to him, the boss lied find it. He goes to look in his boss's office to find it. And the doughnut's still there. And he finds the doughnut's still there. So he lied to him, the boss lied to him. Yes. Oh yeah.

Starting point is 00:29:49 That's hilarious. Yeah, I love it, but that's- I love it. You know what? That's the kind of boss you wanna work for. I agree, actually, but why would he- Because that dude just will fucking make his workers happy. Yeah, exactly.

Starting point is 00:30:00 It's like he's kind of doing what bosses do the opposite of. Right. Which is kind of like going out of his way, lying really, to make his employees feel better about, but the weird thing is why would he care about, why would he care about making you feel good about a donut you randomly chose? Why make up the whole yarn about the daughter and shit?

Starting point is 00:30:21 I thought that he said he picked the donut because the boss wanted that one. No. Oh. He said there's what do you think is good here and Rob just picked one. Got it. Okay. Oh wow. Maybe the guy's got a super like you know everyone has to like me thing. I know people like that. The boss? Yeah. I mean again that would only be a good thing for you. Either way here's what you do with the information about the donuts. Get that out of your head. You have a free donut for you. Just, yeah, or who cares though?

Starting point is 00:30:49 Just get that information out of your head. You never found it. What you found was evidence that your boss is gonna lie, go so far as to lie to make you feel okay. Be happy at your workplace. Make it, let it make you feel good. All right? Because the thing about the donut,

Starting point is 00:31:04 there are certain mysteries of the world that we never gonna solve. This is probably one of them about your boss. You gotta get out of your head as early as possible because you don't want it kicking around up there. What if it was another donut? What if he really liked it and got another one, dude? You don't know, you don't know.

Starting point is 00:31:16 And then he hid it at the office overnight? No, he didn't hide it. He just put it, how long was it there? Two days? Oh, we don't know. Yeah. Dude, and then he's like, when should I bin it? Yeah. Because that's crazy. Don't bin it. Don, we don't know. Yeah, I dude any then he's like when should I been it? Yeah, because that's crazy. Don't been it don't also don't say been it no unless but no, but that's what they say

Starting point is 00:31:31 I know I'm saying to him don't say but also maybe maybe Rob. That's part of his job It's a cleaners dogs boss's desk. You don't know If it is then he wouldn't have put it in his desk his boss is not a fucking moron Trying to get caught subconscious hely trying to get caught. The jinx, it's like the jinx with donuts. Well, maybe then if that's, if he's subconsciously trying to get caught, then he's got a weird,

Starting point is 00:31:51 he's got like a weird psychological hangup or something. Didn't give it to my daughter, of course. Yeah, dude. It is in the bottom of the shelf of my anger. Rob's going to want to bin it, of course. Does he say, of course, or something in the bathroom? Yeah, yeah. He says, kill them all.

Starting point is 00:32:12 Kill them all, of course. That's his famous line. Really? Kill them all, of course. Yeah, dude. Dude, remember when that first aired, how much everyone in America was in agreement that that was the most epic shit that ever happened?

Starting point is 00:32:27 There wasn't a person in America that wasn't watching the jinx. Everyone was shocked. And everyone stood up off of their couches, even lazy fucks like you guys, and were just like, wow, this is absolutely mental. And really, it really truly was mental. It was mental, yeah.

Starting point is 00:32:42 It was a truly mental moment in TV history. He needed to expel that confession out because it just had to come out somehow. Speaking of expelling confessions, or expelling things because they have to come out, have you guys seen the act of violence? Yeah, sorry, the act of killing. Yeah, what is it?

Starting point is 00:33:03 The documentary, The Act of Killing. No, what is it about? it's about a genocide that took place and Filmmaker goes to where it took place and interviews one particular soldier sort of foot soldier in the army that Executed the genocide and it's all about an executed that they still think is it Malaysia that they still think of them as heroes the people That committed the genocide. It would be like if in Germany, Hitler was revered and the people that did it,

Starting point is 00:33:30 all the Nazis were thought of as heroes, right? Okay, but throughout the course of the documentary, the filmmaker Oppenheimer has them like reenact the shit. It's called the act of killing. It's like, that's sort of a double meaning. And these people who are heroes of the whole region, go and reenact all the famous killings and terrible torturings they did, right?

Starting point is 00:33:53 It sounds like the other one. And through the act of doing it, he sort of brought face to face with it. And by the end, there's this crazy moment that it's the craziest thing I've ever seen committed on camera in my life. Hold up, it's what's called again? The act of killing. It's the one no it's it's about the one in uh oh oh oh this is the this is the best not only the best documentary I've ever seen yeah it's one of the best movies ever that's what I

Starting point is 00:34:23 always say yeah oh really yeah it's like the best movie of the last 20 years. No, this is just... It's... This is the one where at the end where he's just like, bleh! Yes. Oh dude. That's the moment I'm talking about.

Starting point is 00:34:33 It's the most amazing thing I've ever seen on camera. I forgot it was called the Active Film. To see it in isolation would be meaningless though. You have to watch the whole movie to make the end matter. So don't just go watch the end. Oh yeah, don't look at the end. No, this is phenomenal. Yes, it's nuts. You know what it is? watch the whole movie to make the end matter. So don't just go watch the end. Oh yeah, don't look at the end. No, no, this is phenomenal.

Starting point is 00:34:47 Yes, it's nuts. You know what it is? He took like 25 years to make it or something. Just art. Yeah. It's just art. Yeah, it's art, dude. You guys wanna know what art is?

Starting point is 00:34:56 He-hoo, he-hoo, he-hoo. Bro, I, I, I, okay. Fucking, maybe your opinion just went out the window, you know, all right. Yeah, dude, it's art. All right, was that it? Oh yeah. Just, I don't know, just out the window, you know, all right. Dude, it's art. All right. Uh, w w was that it? Oh yeah. Just, I don't know.

Starting point is 00:35:06 Just eat the donut, free donut. Um, my question for you guys, I think you will relate to a well I have. I get angry a lot. So whenever I'm out in public and a stranger does something messed up or you would say, want to know something fascinating about this guy? Sure. He's the only guy in history that has worn a necklace that's actually smaller than the circumference of his neck.

Starting point is 00:35:32 How did he do it? That's... Well, it's the way it's falling, but that's funny. Dude, do not explain it. It's what I said. It's tremendous, bro. He also has the thinnest mustache since 1930. Everything about this guy is small. it's what I said. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha thin as most such a conquistador looks at it and goes like this that's thin okay now that is thin yeah all right so anyway he gets mad meaning a lot of times i've always stood up for myself or even sometimes you know said something kind of kind of harsh to them i believe you have normally deserved

Starting point is 00:36:17 but uh wow recently i had a situation where it kind of escalated they ended up threatening threatening me and it just got kind of weird. My question for you guys is how do you handle that when someone's doing something out of line or something, you know, disrespectful, those sorts of things? Do you stand up for yourself despite not knowing what the person's capable of or who they are,

Starting point is 00:36:41 how they'll respond, or do you kind of just bite your tongue? Just curious how you guys handle those situations. Thank you. It depends if it's to me or like to a loved one. I, if it's to me, it takes a lot. If it's to a loved one, hey dude, I go berserk. Okay. I go berserk. I say, give me a moment. And then I go berserk. I definitely get way more upset if it's just someone I care about that I'm with, but then I do about myself. But I'm a carrier flamethrower. Oftentimes out in the world,

Starting point is 00:37:13 I see somebody being disrespectful. It's not to me or someone I'm with. I remember one time I was at the beach and I saw this family and the father of the family, they were all eating chicken and the father was eating this chicken. And just like when he would finish something that was like chicken wings. So there were a lot of pieces.

Starting point is 00:37:32 He would just literally throw the ball. That's terrible, yeah. And he's doing this in front of his little kids. And I just kept thinking, these kids are fucked. Cause they're gonna grow up and be disgusting people just like their father. But what am I gonna do? Say, hey, you don't act like this in front of your kids.

Starting point is 00:37:49 Like that's his family. And it's his world just as much as it's my world. Yeah, but you could be like, hey dude, come on man. This beach, I like this beach. Don't be putting chicken bones everywhere. No, I totally could. But I'm saying that is just under the line of me getting involved.

Starting point is 00:38:03 I'm not going to get involved when it's like questionable in any way. When it's completely and 100% over the line, someone says something fucked up to me, or obviously especially someone I'm with that I care about, then obviously I say something, come what may. Sometimes you have to say something in a situation where it immediately and readily appears

Starting point is 00:38:24 like you're gonna get your fucking ass kicked. Right, right, right, right, right. If you can avoid that, obviously, though, great, but sometimes you don't have a choice. It really is like, okay, here we go. I'm gonna put my face on the line right now. But yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:38:39 It's tough, but I think there's a way to draw the line clearly where you can know ahead of time if something like that is possible in a situation or not. You sound like you've got a temper problem though. Temper problems are different. Take a beat, take a deep breath and think, before you do anything, just remind yourself you have a temper problem that your impulse to do things,

Starting point is 00:38:59 it's distorted in that immediate moment. Take a beat, you'll be shocked to see how much less angry and ready to rumble you are after that brief moment. It's really just a split second, ready to rumble. It's a little longer for me. Is it? Yeah, it's not a split second. Dude, for me, it's a length of a breath, deep breath. Oh wow. And in that deep breath reminding myself, I just stored reality and that's, what I'm feeling right now is not how I'm gonna feel in a minute, five minutes, 10 minutes.

Starting point is 00:39:33 Okay. And knowing that and remembering that, part of it is just living long enough to know and have made the mistake enough times to know, and that's not always easy when you're young like you. Even though you have as mustache as thin as Clark Gable, and you's not always easy when you're young like you. Even though you have as much mustache as thin as Clark Gable, you would think you're 104 years old, but really you look like you're 25.

Starting point is 00:39:50 And a fucking necklace shorter than the circumference of your own neck. How do you do it? It's crazy, yeah, it's fine. It's interesting. Okay, so next one. Paramount Plus. We come to you from the mountain of entertainment

Starting point is 00:40:04 to tell you what's streaming on Paramount Plus. We come to you from the mountain of entertainment to tell you what's streaming on Paramount Plus. Blockbusters, like A Quiet Place, Day One. Originals, including Yellowstone. I'm gonna let the world know we're here. Light it up! And hits like Dexter. You're decent and good. I'm not.

Starting point is 00:40:22 Paramount Plus, your eyeballs equals entertainment. Stream Paramount Plus from 6.99 a month. So I first came to Edward Jones with a great deal of trepidation. When I first met with my advisor and I really was feeling vulnerable about what I would have to share, I was of course pleasantly surprised to find that there was absolutely no judgment and a lot of support. And when it was time to get serious, he really took my hand and helped me to do that. Edward Jones, we do money differently.

Starting point is 00:40:57 Visit edwardjones.ca slash different. Oh, here's the little knuckles talking about. Trying to get a dildo out of his ass. I mean, you know, people are crazy, huh? They just send that they just send that. They just sent that. What do you mean? Of course. But like for what?

Starting point is 00:41:15 Sitting on a dildo, sitting on a dildo, trying to get it out of trying to get a dildo out of there we go. Right. That's we're on in the background. That is hilarious. That is so funny. That is so funny. Also, the worst room I've ever seen in my life. I kind of like that guy. What do you think? No, that yeah, I'm sure he seems cool, but he seems cool.

Starting point is 00:41:35 You know, he's eating up our space, though. He's eating up our space. What does that mean? Yeah. What do you mean? Like our space in the in the inbox? He's got it's funny. Short, at least. Yeah, that's true. He was fine. It's fine that he did inbox. He's got, it's funny. I think he got short at least. Yeah, that's true. He's fine.

Starting point is 00:41:46 It's fine that he did this. It's great. He's loaded. He's legitimately on so many drugs. He has $18 million in a trust fund somewhere. He doesn't even know he has it, but he's gonna find out in like a couple months that he has all that money and didn't realize it.

Starting point is 00:41:59 Okay. So long time listener, congratulations. And wanna thank you both for the entertainment you provide each week. Love listening to you guys. Question for today is what do you guys recommend to essentially create or help grow a relationship with your siblings? We all are adults. For context, me and my siblings come from a pretty like messed up childhood. I'm the youngest of three. I'm in my late twenties and my sister come from a pretty messed up childhood. I'm the youngest of the three. I'm in my late 20s. And my sister called me a couple weekends ago.

Starting point is 00:42:28 We had a long talk, got stuff off our chests, and just essentially had a heart to heart. But anyways, both agreed, like, maybe we should start a text chat amongst us three siblings to be consistent and get something going. I like that. But it sounds corny, but I think it'll work. I don't know. Yeah, no, that'll work.

Starting point is 00:42:44 Definitely will work. Thanks. I think that. But it sounds corny, but I think it'll work. I don't know. No, that'll work. Definitely work. Thanks. I think about how much our relationships has grown because of text chains, for real. Not me and you, I'm just saying everyone. Like you keep in touch with so many people because of that? Also though, think about the other side of it,

Starting point is 00:42:59 which is that it's like a lazy way to do it. And how much are we missing out on by not making that phone call or meeting up with someone for coffee or a walk or whatever. The meeting up thing, I don't know. The texting is really keeping in touch, but are we really satisfying that need as social animals that we have?

Starting point is 00:43:16 I think I am. Do you really think so? I don't think you are in particular. I think I'm better at it than you. I think you're missing out on it more than anyone I know. What I'm describing. Talking to people and being hanging out? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:43:29 But I do that. You do hang out with people, yeah. Who else can I point it instead of you? I bet Anthony does that. Pretty bad. He's got a text chain for pizza gate going on. Yeah, dude. He's got the pizza gate telegram.

Starting point is 00:43:39 You guys still think it's real, right? All of it? There wasn't one part that was fiction? That's Anthony's last text in the chain. There's 80 of them on there? And you. There wasn't one part that was fiction. That's Anthony's last text in the chain. There's 80 of them on there. And you know there wasn't one part that was fiction. It's okay guys, gotta record Lifeline. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:43:54 Well, I don't know. What really was his question though? Who? Cause it's interesting. He had a question and then he answered it really well at the very end and now I don't know what to, you answered it. The text chain is a great idea.

Starting point is 00:44:08 Cause here's the thing, if you're gonna, if you're gonna, if you, maybe you're trying to grow the relationship, which is what he said, right? Yes. So,

Starting point is 00:44:15 I think it's a perfect way to do that. It's a perfect way to do it because you'll figure out if you want to see each other by just saying stuff. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. On the text messages. Yeah. And it's kind of,

Starting point is 00:44:24 it's a softer way in than getting together every week or something. That elevates the heat. It's a good first step toward exploring more intense and better relationships with your siblings. I think that's a great idea. Stick to it, though.

Starting point is 00:44:39 If it starts slipping, make sure you send a text. On the ground. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Shoot one out. Make, she went out. Make sure it keeps going. OK. I go to Chick-fil-A every time I'm at work, right? Right down there.

Starting point is 00:44:52 And then there's this dude there kind of like, you know, not all the way there. Just say it like that. This is a young black dude. And I live I'm in like a pretty predominantly white town. So this kid Sees me all the time like yo, yo, yo, what's up? Randomly comes up to me like you got snapchat. I was like, yeah, he's like hanging on snapchat So i'm like, all right, and it's enough. It's gonna add him on snapchat

Starting point is 00:45:16 He's posting like weird stuff on there. Just like up close fake selfies and shit And then I start pulling up to the curb side to get your order Just like pull up and they'll bring out your order and every time well the first time he's like yo You think I could get a fry? Because I'm hungry and all this stuff. I'm like what they don't feed you in there Yeah, so yeah allowed to just like take a fry and stuff. He's like no no am I alright I hand him like I think I have two fries Then he like leans inside my car and just stuffed it all in his mouth What and then looks like all right things I'm like goes back and now every time I come second time I come again

Starting point is 00:45:50 Oh, yo, you know, I think I could get a fry that enough. I'm like, I give him a give him a fry And I drive away. I'm like damn I gave him like the biggest spider the thing kind of feel jipped a little bit And then the third time I come he don't ever asked for the fry He just expected like yo, you know the deal like let me get the fries. I'm like, bro I gotta give this guy a fry every time I fucking pull up. I don't want to be mean like yo Get yourself your own fries, you know, as I said, he's not all the way there and it's just like damn, bro Should I just do I pay the fry tax every time I go?

Starting point is 00:46:22 To do get your fillet or? Or what should I do? Fry toll. Dude, I have a question though before you answer. What did he mean by, don't they feed you? What is he saying? Yeah, I- Does he work there? He made it seem like he works there, but-

Starting point is 00:46:34 What the fuck was that? No, I think that maybe he was just saying, cause he's there a lot that- Don't they feed you where? I think he would have been, he's like, you don't get food here. The guy works at Chick-fil-A, right? Does he?

Starting point is 00:46:43 And he's just thinking- Oh, so he does, that's what he meant. He does work at Chick-fil-A get food here. The guy works at Chick-fil-A, right? Does he? Oh, okay. And he's just thinking. He, oh, so he does, that's what he meant. He does work at Chick-fil-A. He didn't say he works at Chick-fil-A. He did not say that at the time. He said he goes to Chick-fil-A and the guy that. He said he's not all the way there. I figured he was a homeless guy.

Starting point is 00:46:54 Yeah, so did I. Bad, bad setup, dude. Way to fucking go, man. No, no, no, bad storytelling. I also might be wrong. Yeah, you're probably wrong, you're probably wrong. Bad setup to the story, man. Way to go, man.

Starting point is 00:47:03 Fucked it all. But hold on, but it's a valid, it's a good video though. Thank you for making it. Yeah, I'm just saying. I, this is perfect, dude. You got, you have his Snapchat. So just write him there when you're home later and be like, yo man, stop asking for my fries.

Starting point is 00:47:20 This way you don't have to be confrontational to a crazy person. Or let, fuck, if he does work there, let Chick-fil-A know, and here's the thing, if he doesn't work there, obviously they'll know, if he doesn't work there, let Chick-fil-A know there's somebody accosting fucking customers trying to make them give him their food. They don't want that. They'll take care of that. That's right. You don't need to go to the fucking guy and say, hey, I don't want to, you don't need to write him their food. They don't want that. They'll take care of that. That's right, that's right. You don't need to go to the fucking guy and say,

Starting point is 00:47:46 hey, I don't want to, you don't need to write him on Snapchat. And if you guys don't want to deal with him directly, I have his Snapchat. So write him there. Thank you very much. I have to, I have to go. Just be like, I don't want to get the fucking, I don't want to get the cops involved

Starting point is 00:47:57 cause that's crazy. But can you guys handle this fucking guy? What do you need him for? Stealing the fries. Could you handle this guy who keeps asking me for fucking fries? He's right at the drive-through window. Get him out of here. What do you need him? Stealing fries. Could you handle this guy who keeps asking me for fucking fries? He's right at the drive-through window. Get him out of here.

Starting point is 00:48:06 What do you hear for? Your place of business. You could tell because it plays my business. It's so, that's so fucking annoying, dude. I'm mad on your behalf. My business, man. You could tell because it plays my business. Fuck that guy.

Starting point is 00:48:19 Fuck that guy. You know who said that? Yeah, man. Tupac. You know why he said it? It's one of the greatest quotes to me of all time. No go ahead. I think it's the greatest quote of all time. All right what is it? He beat a case, walked out of the courtroom and they were like Tupac how do you feel? They're

Starting point is 00:48:35 trying to pin his shit on me. I'm not like this. They're trying to say I'm like this but I'm not like this. You know I'm like not like this because I'm a businessman and you could tell me businessman because when you when you look for me you could find me in my place of business, which is where who fucking knows dude. So why is it great? It's It sounds great. It's Hilarious. Okay. Yeah, it's funny, but but it's not the best quote of all time. So you don't say I like the refrigerator one No, we should haha. Yeah, that was a good one. What about what I said about Oakleys in the beginning? That was pretty great too. What was it? Something about, you know,

Starting point is 00:49:09 tell your mother or something like that. I don't remember. I feel like I remember if it was really good. Oh, it was good. We can rewind this. Okay, all right, all right. Another one. Hey guys, I am a bit behind.

Starting point is 00:49:21 I'm on episode 118, Body Knowledge. Thank you. If you go back and reference the opening of the show, you might notice that Matthew points out somebody's sneezing. Somebody has a weird sneeze and he mentions it. Christopher scolds him for this. He says, don't do that. Don't reference things happening off camera. Nobody understands what that is. You shouldn't do it.

Starting point is 00:49:44 Yeah, dude, yeah. Fine, whatever. But then just a minute or two later, the producer gets up and leaves and then comes back and Christopher points it out, he mentions that the producer's gone or something. But this is happening off screen. I described it though.

Starting point is 00:49:57 So what's happening is he is doing exactly what he just told Matthew not to do. I'm not being hypocritical. Yes you are. And so my question becomes, I remember what happened. Matthew, what do you do with a bossy, hypocritical, bossy pants?

Starting point is 00:50:12 But I'm not hypocritical. Second question is in regards to Mobile, Alabama. Now, I'm saying it wrong. We all know it's Mobile, but if anybody's been watching the show, they've heard Christopher say mobile. Oh, you see for some reason for weeks. Mobile? I don't care what it is.

Starting point is 00:50:27 And I was really looking forward to witnessing in real time the education of Chris learning mobile Alabama. It's honestly mobile. But I think somebody's already taught it to him and it's kind of been skipped over. So could you guys revisit that for me? Sure, Mobile would tell me that. And explain to me how he came to know that it's mobile.

Starting point is 00:50:47 Thanks, buds. It's mobile. It's mobile. Yeah, I know that. How did you come to learn that? Because somebody told me. There's his answer. He's asking me when I learned it.

Starting point is 00:50:56 Yeah, how did that happen? Oh yeah, somebody told me, yeah. But also- So you're a hypocrite and everybody knows it because they watch the show. Mobile. Mobile. I'm not a hypocrite and everybody knows it because they watch the show. Mobile. Mobile. I'm not a hypocrite because I remember when that happened, you see, don't refer to it off the screen.

Starting point is 00:51:11 And then he got up and I said, our producer is getting up. I was describing what was happening. So you didn't mean don't talk about what's happening off screen. You meant don't talk about it happening off screen unless you explain it entirely. Yeah. That's still being hypocritical, but you didn't fully explain it. Just cause you understand in your head what you meant. You need to go by the words you said outwardly

Starting point is 00:51:29 cause people won't understand unless you say the right words. I say the right words so many times. Trump. Yeah. Oh wow. Look at the non sleeves on this guy's shirt though. Well, V-necks are bad. It's basically the sleeves are cut off, but they're not. V-necks are bad. It's basically, the sleeves are cut off, but they're not.

Starting point is 00:51:45 V-necks are bad. Unless they're enormous. That's the rule. We came up with this rule together. Yeah, dude, trust me. V-necks are terrible unless they're enormous. V-necks. Next.

Starting point is 00:51:58 V-necks, I said, instead of V-necks. Next. Hi, Chris and Matt. It's a little dark. I'm in the parking garage at work. It's incredibly dark. But straight to the point, when are you considered rude or when is it rude to not hold the door open for somebody? Oh.

Starting point is 00:52:14 Like, for example, if you're at the top of a staircase and they're at the bottom, do you sit and wait, like stand and wait, and hold the door open for them to get to the top? Or do you just keep going? Because I will keep going. My boyfriend will stand there and wait wait and then I get irritated because I'm trying to go like we're trying to get to where we're going and he'll stand there and wait for them to get all the way to the top hmm but then I get called

Starting point is 00:52:35 rude because he's just being a gentleman and polite and I do hold the door open for people if they're right behind you or like coming up like within steps but at the bottom of the staircase? No, that's crazy. Cause also- Am I the dick for that? Anyway, love you both. Love you to two stairs. You're entirely correct.

Starting point is 00:52:52 But here's the thing that you guys are not realizing that you should use as part of your argument next time it comes up. It is often something that makes someone else hurry or go at a pace that they're not already going. Polite to a fault is not good. It's like, dude, you open a door for somebody when at the bottom of a staircase, they're gonna be like,

Starting point is 00:53:09 oh, now I gotta run up the stairs to make this guy seem feel fucking polite. I'll get it, I'll get up there when I can. Go ahead, that's what I do. Go ahead. Yeah, go ahead. I might take a break, who knows? But even that is still, you gotta say something and think it all the way through.

Starting point is 00:53:22 Like you open a door for somebody if they're really close. That's like that's like when when you're waiting across the street and a car slows down and they're like, you're like, dude, you're the car. That's not as bad because it is California state law that they have. It's still annoying. But they have to stop legally. I know. But also jaywalking is illegal. So it's an illegal on top of an illegal. Yeah, you know, aren't you talking about at a crosswalk, though?

Starting point is 00:53:42 Speaking of yes, got that one. We got the merch. Go to Lifeline merch dot com. Aren't you talking about at a crosswalk though? Speaking of yes, got it at that one. We got the merch, go to lifelinemerch.com. Aren't you talking about at a crosswalk though? No, I wasn't. Oh, just like on the street. Not on a crosswalk. A crosswalk. Oh, that is annoying.

Starting point is 00:53:53 It makes sense, yes. Yeah, yeah, totally. But yeah, no. Here's the rule, okay? It's very simple. If the door would fully close naturally before the person approaching would get there, you don't hold the door open.

Starting point is 00:54:10 If the door would be- How do you know? Because you happen to know how fast doors close and you know how far someone is and the pace at which they're going. So if the door would be like a few inches closed- So you gotta be a fucking mathematician. You gotta be a fucking mathematician.

Starting point is 00:54:24 Okay then, whatever. Eyeball it, man. You don't a fucking mathematician. OK, then whatever. Eyeball it, man. You don't need to be exact. If they're close enough, fuck you. OK, you get what I'm saying. All right. I think that honestly, so I walked out of a man. I walked out of a deli the other day with Kristen.

Starting point is 00:54:36 There was an old couple that walked out. That's their fault. They're old. OK, well, next. No, but also what happened wasn't even that bad. I walked out. I walked out. They walked out. The two of them walked out. Kristen walked out first. Okay? Wait.

Starting point is 00:54:52 Kristen walked out first of the deli. She walked out. Where are the old people? Between me and Kristen. Oh, okay. Kristen walked out first. Then the old lady opens the door. The old man walks through the door. And the old lady is now gonna walk through the door. Yeah, she held it open for the guy. She held it open for the guy, but then I walked through also. While the woman was

Starting point is 00:55:15 holding it? Yes, but she didn't hold it open for me. Okay. Like you could tell. Okay. I just did it. Yeah. Because I'm quick and younger than them and I can get through it. Okay Kristen said you can't do that And I said really she's like that's rude Really cut in between them and I said we talked about just renew in town I don't want to be like I was like nah, I'm if that happens again, just so you know, I'm doing that Wait, what do you mean in between them? Oh, oh he went then you went you went, then she went. Yeah, pretty, kind of, yeah. Okay. Did they seem like put out? No, no, but in her head, she probably thinks that they had a big face on, but they didn't. You

Starting point is 00:55:54 know, I'll be honest, I'm having trouble even picturing this. How did you end up slipping through the door before? This is so weird. There, I'm nimble, I admit it. So what were you thinking when you went? Nothing. I wanna get out of this place. That's the whole thing. And they were going slow? I don't know. I was going faster.

Starting point is 00:56:12 It's more that I was going faster. I'm nimble, there, I said it. Bro, it's weird that you did that. I agree with her. I don't think it's rude per se, but I do think it's really weird that you did that. What? Like, they're-

Starting point is 00:56:22 What? They're going through the door. Wait, just wait a second. It was, there was so much room for me to do it. How though? I guess that's what I'm getting confused. It was like a double door. It was a double door, dude.

Starting point is 00:56:35 Okay, so what? I already admitted I'm nimble. Both of them were open. Oh my God, bro. Both doors. What do you guys think besides Anthony? I agree with Chris. Okay. Oh, fuck yeah, bro. Both doors. What do you guys think besides Anthony? I agree with Chris. Okay. Oh, fuck yeah, dude.

Starting point is 00:56:48 Anthony? I believe in Pizza Gate. I'll be in DC in November. I'm taking care of everyone. I agree with Chris too. Oh yes, dude. All right, then I can see it. I'm wrong.

Starting point is 00:57:00 I must not be like- What about Chadrick? I'm gonna vote for Chris on this one. Oh wow. I must be misunderstanding Rude Chris on this one. Oh wow! I must be misunderstanding it then. It didn't hurt anybody. It didn't hurt anybody. Of course it didn't hurt anybody.

Starting point is 00:57:11 I'm not saying you fucked them over. I literally, I go like this. And Kristen goes like this, Chris, like I'm supposed to know what I'm even, what, what? I said what? No, I won't be pressured. I still agree with Kristen. Yeah. Interesting.

Starting point is 00:57:27 Yeah. Interesting. But she said rude. That's not the right word for me, but I agree that it's like, just what are you doing? Well, let me tell you something. If I'm doing that. Yeah. And Kristen, and I'm opening it for Kristen and somebody does that to me, I don't even think about it.

Starting point is 00:57:42 I'm thinking about that. And I actually don't like that someone did that. Really? So now I fully agree with you. No, you know what you are. A woman? You're a bitch for this. You're a...

Starting point is 00:57:53 I didn't know my brother was a bitch. Well, you learn something new every day, huh? I mean, it's okay. I'm glad you're standing your ground. That's not it. Yeah, I just think that I'm unconvinced. Yeah. By my how much is the will the real movie in 1999 that came out there called unconvinced?

Starting point is 00:58:11 And it's about a Jack Black playing a character named Vince. Oh, wow. And he and he has no opinions of anything. I would watch that in a fucking second. Same dude. Nineties, indies, dude. Give me all of them. All right We got we got another one in the chamber

Starting point is 00:58:29 What's up guys quick question we're not on the phone with somebody and the conversation is over do you press the hang up button on the phone like a normal person or Do you just set the phone down and assume the other person is going to hang up the phone my mom? You just set the phone down and assume the other person is going to hang up the phone my mom Has done this my whole life She will get done on the phone Yeah, and she'll set it down or put it in her purse and just assume that I'm going to hang up my god No, I think so crazy. Yeah, I've never told that a landline puts in a person. She knows that she does it It's so weird. I've tested it and it'll go on for minutes Whoa of me just sitting in her purse. Yeah, and I can hear everything she's doing

Starting point is 00:59:09 You can tell I forget to hang up the phone. She'll be able to hear everything I'm doing Why just I don't know if I'm crazy or no Is let me know appreciate correct? You might be crazy because that woman raised you that woman does that is clearly crazy and that means other ways She's crazy as well. She raised you in a way that made you crazy probably too. So you, that woman does that and is clearly crazy. And that means other ways she's crazy as well. She raised you in a way that made you crazy probably too. So yes, you're crazy, but not for that reason. She's obviously not a bad person. You know what I mean? I'm not doing anything

Starting point is 00:59:35 nefarious. You know, that is, that is, I can't imagine. That is so, so funny, dude. That's, that's, I've never heard of that. Your mom does that. Your mom does that? Oh my God. Yeah. I didn't hear that. Really? Are you guys brothers? But why though? Somebody needs to hang up the phone? Why is she? So that's a boss move actually, being like don't hang it up. It is but why does your mom do it? Does your mom even realize she's like what's going on? She certainly doesn't think oh the phone hangs up on its own. She might think she does. She might, yeah. Oh, that's.

Starting point is 01:00:05 She maybe does because everybody has always been forced to hang up. That's awesome. Be the person to hang up. Yeah, that's baller. But that, but you don't. They'll do it. They'll do it. That's baller, yeah.

Starting point is 01:00:14 They'll do it as baller. Yeah. Oh, the phone hangs up itself is not baller. No, that's crazy. That's crazy. That's crazy. It's crazy. It's interesting.

Starting point is 01:00:22 Crazy and baller are often very close. You could be a crazy baller. It's rare to be a crazy baller though. It's usually one or the other, but they're close. I think our moms are very similar in a lot of ways. Yeah, me and you? Yeah, I thought that your mom, you guys were gonna say that Ellie doesn't.

Starting point is 01:00:34 No, no, she didn't. I don't think so, but you know what my mom does do? I'm probably not to you as much because I'm more often on her phone because I keep in touch with her more, I text her more and we talk to each other more on the phone because I love her more than you love her. You do?

Starting point is 01:00:47 But she often will, like, not but dial me, but text me, but voice note me. Yeah. So I'll just get an eight minute chunk of whatever my mom's doing at the time. Murder them all, of course. Just like usually talking shit about my brother, but like sometimes it's just watching the news, whatever the fuck, talking to my dad. Watching the MSP.

Starting point is 01:01:15 And it's crazy to think about all the steps you have to take to actually create a voice note and stop it and send it. Not true. Yeah, you have to start it, hold it, then hit send. No, you don't. What do you mean? You only have to tilt your phone if it's on the text messages. What? I don't know what you mean. Do you know what I'm saying? I don't. Can you explain? Because we're on camera so you might as well explain.

Starting point is 01:01:36 He doesn't matter because he's not on camera so why don't you just... He's me. But you, you, you, if you're on the phone, you're texting and you leave the text field open and you tilt your phone like this, it'll start. What? Okay, so I'm texting, yada, yada, yada, texting, texting, texting, tilted it. Yep. You have to tilt a certain way, but yes, it does happen.

Starting point is 01:01:57 You have to be a bitch about it. You have to be like that. No, yeah. It does? It is, yeah, it does work. It does, here. It's not working. I have to get this.

Starting point is 01:02:04 It's just all this shit talking about you on the phone. It does here. It's not working. It's just all this shit talking about you on the phone It does it Yeah, it has to be yeah, well that settings on for her yeah It happens all the time Well, I mean, I believe you just I've never seen that I had no idea Yeah, so I don't think that's what happened with mom though. Do you? Yeah, I think that's what happened with her. Okay.

Starting point is 01:02:26 There's no way she's hitting the buttons and shit. I guess, yeah. It's hard to imagine what it is though. I always listen to the whole thing studio to try to get something funny and it's usually just boring and shit. Oh really? I never listened to even a second of it.

Starting point is 01:02:36 If I see an eight minute thing, whether you meant to or not, I'm not listening to it. Oh, if it was, I wouldn't from most people, but my mom's liable to say something funny as fuck. Also, I said the thing my mom to you just now remember yeah, I'm under the sun here. We go came full circle Full there we go look at that look at that look at that look at that look at that look at that look at that Look, I wasn't I wasn't I wasn't okay. I'll be in Toronto. I'll be in st What was the one?

Starting point is 01:03:03 You did Sioux Falls. And get the merch, the yes, got it, that one, tees and hoodies, lifelikemerch.com. Thank you, thank you very much. Elvis, the merch is pimping. Now, you know what's interesting? What? I gotta do this too, because it feels weird.

Starting point is 01:03:18 I gotta do it to both. I used to be like that. I'm not like that anymore. Which one do you guys think looks better, when I do it with my right arm or my left arm? Neither of them. You look like a fucking coat hanger. The left arm looks better, I think.

Starting point is 01:03:28 They both are really bad. Jerking off a guy in a circular motion. Ha ha, ripping his dick off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, so that's what that was. Bye everybody, I love you. Have a good time. Tuh. Have a good time. Toh. ["Hello"]

Lifeline - 129. Our Long Lost Sister

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.