Lifeline - 131. The Long Arm of Um

Episode Date: October 13, 2024

Live show Dec 5 in Oxnard! Tickets here! LIFELINE ✨LUXURY✨ is available at patreon.com/lifelineluxury. Extra episodes every month, no advice, all for $5. Also has a full live show. 🤳 Want to submit to Lifeline? Go here: forms.gle/EYbqjvyy1A9r728Y9 ☎️ You can also call the hotline at 213-973-8095 🎧 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: apple.co/3NG2G2G 🔊 Subscribe on Spotify: spoti.fi/3NPUwoT 🔗 All our links: linktr.ee/watchlifeline TODAY, we're talking about a bunch of things, such as thinking you can control road rage until you're the one driving, how many buttons to unbutton on your shirt, how late is too late for a son to hold Daddy's hand, and if we unpack when we go on vacation. 💚 Lifeline is the first podcast about you, hosted by Matt D'Elia & Chris D'Elia. 📆 Book 20 or 40 min one-on-one sessions with Matt at mattdelia.com. More LIFELINE: Instagram: instagram.com/watchlifeline Tiktok: tiktok.com/@watchlifeline Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey guys, it's October 13th. Happy Sunday the 13th. Stop what you're doing right now and get the Lifeline Luxury patreon.com slash Lifeline Luxury. It is on and popping. We got the live shows on there and you get extra, we do two, three episodes of Lifeline Luxury, which is just banter, sick. Two, three, what does that mean?

We do two or three. We do three at least, baby, baby, baby. How about this? How crazy is this? It's October 13th and it's episode 131. Not, simply not crazy. That is just crazy. There's not a 13 in that except for 131 but that's 130 not 13. But if you're a student of numerology like I am, I'm an amazing. I mean I'll give you that. If you're a student of numerology, okay fine. Okay. But anyway I'm gonna be in

If you're a student of numerology, okay, fine. Okay. But anyway, I'm gonna be in Toronto and Bismarck and Sioux Falls and then we have our Lifeline live show in Oxnard, California, get tickets for that. And then Brea, California, I will be in Brea, California almost to bring in the new year here, chrislee.com, go get tickets. So anyway, if you have a question,

leave it for us in description or the link below. And that's what it is. That's what's up. You want the merch, you want the merch, go to lifeline merch dot com. Get the yes. Get out of that one. Merch. It's new. It's good. It's lovely. It's comfortable. You will like it. The show really is what it is. And you will support the show.

Yeah. So, you know, I'm feeling good. You know, I'm feeling good, you know, having a... I have white in my beard. So do I. Yeah, I don't, I only want white in my beard if I have white in my hair and I don't, I'm starting to get one or two white hairs in my hair and I want it to be comparable, and it's not.

And I really don't like that. That's interesting. Do you think that that's a weird thing? A weird thing. Well, no, I'm saying, if you see somebody with a white beard and not white hair, do you even register it? I immediately think like, oh, that sucks.

I don't like the way it looks, it looks bad. I don't think I've ever thought that once in the world, yeah. It's just a me thing. I noticed it, I mean, You're noticing it is one thing, I know, that's not what I'm really talking about. I have it too, it's the only person I notice it on. Like I've never thought that once about you.

Oh, okay, so it's just, okay, wow, all right. That's how little I see it in other people. People look so much better when they have all the same color hair. I've never even- Wow, okay. Ever. That's a crazy person. Even considered it.

I've only noticed it myself. I've been like, that's so weird. How come I don't have gray hair, but I have almost a completely gray beard? I think your face goes first for a lot of people. Well, clearly. It's true of us, at least. 100% of us.

Yeah, 100%. But not even your mustache, really. Oh, I have little gray pieces. A little bit. But more than I do with my hair? I don't have any gray hairs. No, no, no, but way even your mustache, really. Oh, I have little gray pieces. A little bit. But more than I do with my hair, I don't have any gray hairs. No, no, no, but way more here though. Yes.

And my neck, when it grows in, it's all white. There is almost no, yeah. Weird. And no, but not chest or pubes or anything, right? My pubes are a shocking red. Wow. Yeah, yeah. Like bright red?

Bright red, yeah, the carrot tops head is in my cross. Wow. Yeah, no, I have a couple gray red. Yeah. That Carrot Top's head is in my crotch. Wow. Yeah. No, I have a couple gray. Do, do, do. I'm getting assassinated. Do, do, do. On my chest. RZA.

I have a couple gray. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. On my chest. Okay. It wasn't honestly worth doing it one time. He did it three times. I have gray. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,

on my chest sometimes. All right, Bobby Digital. All right, so. What else we got? What do you, what do you mean we, it's three minutes in. What do you mean what else we got? What else we got? What else you got for me?

I'll tell you right now, dude. I'm back to wearing big white baggy shirts. You know about that? Yeah, I know about that. Because you said you were gonna be doing it. I still forgot the Oakleys at home, but guess what I still got? Wayfarers on baby.

No, I don't like. Okay, I'm done, I forgot the Oakleys at home, but guess what I still got? Wayfarers on, baby. Okay, I'm done. Okay, all right. Don Henley, is that Don Henley? That's Don Henley. Who's the one that did, oh, Huey Lewis. The Hotter Rock and Roll, right? So Huey Lewis I thought was so awesome

when I was a kid, all right? And then when I grew up, I realized that everyone thought he was like a laughing stock. Yeah, he was kind of a joke, but he was massive hits though. I know, that's fine, but it's like, but like, have you ever seen this? Who thought that?

Oh, the biggest you will withstand. The biggest you will withstand. In the music world, like music snobs were like, that guy's a joke. He's a hack suck, he sucks. Isn't that interesting? I'm gonna fact check. Oh!

Dude, you gotta look at We Are the World, Michael Jackson, how he reacts to Huey Lewis when he's singing. It's funny. And then people made fun of him because he was like, the song that really went over the top was, I think, I can't remember what the song about rock and roll was. And then he just mentions all the cities at the end. And then everyone's like, he just, everyone, so everyone in the city is like, yeah. And he's just trying to win everyone over and it sucks. The heart of rock and roll is competing.

That's it, right? And from what I'm seeing, I believe. Well, that's a Tundra version, but. A heart of rock and roll, heart of rock and roll is competing. Yeah, in Cleveland. Right. That's what he said. And all the different places though. But that's in the song how he starts out. Biloxi.

Biloxi, yeah, he probably gets to Biloxi, yeah. And Upsala in Canada. In New York, Los Angeles, Seattle, Cleveland, Chicago, Dallas. It's not like Baton Rouge. Remember the Sir Mix-A-Lock? What's up, Tampa, what's up? Of course. What's Sir Mix-A-Lot? What's up Tampa? What's up? What's up Miami?

What's up? Yeah, of course I remember that. St. Petersburg, jump on it. Jump on it. Was that different than the area code song? Yeah. He loved locations. Everything was about locations.

Well, that was ludicrous, but that was like in the 2000s. Sir Mix-A-Lot was 90s. Oh, I'm just thinking. What's up Portland? What's up? Yeah. What's up Houston? What's up? Yeah. What's up, Houston? What's up, Minnesota?

Jump on me. Oh, wow, dude. I fucking loved that song. Yeah, yeah, me too. I'm gonna play it on the way home. How about that? How about it? We didn't drive together,

but I'm gonna play it on home. Just know that I'm listening to it and I'm gonna really listen to it good. Okay, sounds great. And the bloody guts. And the bloody guts. And the bloody guts. Why are you saying that? Because the interior.

Of all of your cars, like bloody guts? No, my Mercedes is bloody guts. Okay. Okay. It's got- So why did you say no? Well, about what? I said, like the interior of a car is bloody guts and you said no.

I said all of my cars, no. Didn't say that. The white car, it's like the white chocolate with the pussy inside. Oh man. I know, it's gross all of my cars, no. Didn't say that. The white car, it's like the white chocolate with the pussy inside. Oh man. I know, it's gross. That's disgusting, dude. We should probably bleep that out.

But you know what I mean, right? But why did you bring up Huey Lewis again? Oh, because you were mixing them up with Don Hanley? Oh, I'm gonna listen to Huey Lewis, I sort of mix a lot. What a playlist. Deep in the, we should bleep that out, it's the beginning of the show. What a playlist.

But you know what I mean when I say that, right? I don't think so. Because it's a white car with the red interior. What does the white have to do with? White chocolate. Oh, okay. I mean, I'm inside my white girl, right? Because- Disgusting to talk about it like that.

Disgusting to talk about it like that. And it's all good. What do you say? Goosh on the outside, goosh on the inside? No Well, he's a goo show on the outside goo on the inside No one's on the outside with the duck it in it I mean you get so mad at me for swearing in the first time I know we have to bleep that out bomb and swears I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I got loose with it, but I Think it's five minutes in and we're seven or eight minutes in but goo shit with the duck shit in it a goo shit

Duck shit sandwich is what my other car is. It's green and then brown on the inside. Yes, and I got my white girl and my goose shit sandwich. All right, man. Well. Which one am I gonna take? I don't know anything. I'll listen to Huey Lewis in the white girl

and then I'll listen to Sir Mix-A-Lot in the goose shit sandwich. Okay. Let's move on from- It's like the least clever shit. Come on. It's not, yeah. Also, what's goose shit?

Like, why do you know about goose shit? Goose shit is green and duck shit is brown. Oh, okay. So, but a lot of other- I could say I'm taking the frog today, but it's not interesting. It's a little bit more interesting than goose shit, duck shit. No, goose shit, duck shit is not interesting. The goose a little bit more interesting than goose shit duck shit. No, goose shit duck shit is not interesting.

Sandwich is so ill to say. It's so ill to say. It's disgusting because when you say sandwich, it makes you think about eating it. It's gross. Okay, well, so I'll take my white girl. But why are you, what? It's white with red inside. Okay, I get it man.

You know, cuz organs are red. Yes, I do know that the inside of our bodies is red. Yes, and for yeah, I'm inside my white guy. I could be gay about it, but I don't care about that. I could be gay about it. You should just say white person. I'm inside my white guy. But also why are you saying it's gay?

It's the inside of their body. I'm inside my white homie. That's what I'm in Yeah, but now I don't you know white person. I like it when it's feminine though. I'm inside my white I think about this sometimes why do people? Feminize their boats and vehicles. It's so weird. She's this they do that with countries. That's stupid. What is that? So that that's why I'm gonna say from now on when I'm in my Mercedes, I'm fucking this white man. Yeah, it's called a guy. Like a, there he is.

I'm getting taught from a white, let's go get taught from a white guy. And we go in the car. Oh, we're getting sucked off by a dude, huh? Just completely, we're just going to Taco Bell, you know? Okay. God, can we just go to the... You said we'd go to Best Buy.

Yeah. The worst. Gay now. What? Gay now? This is so devolving. You're going to the bathroom. Oh my god! Anthony's going to the bathroom again. It's 10 minutes in! He can't... He couldn't wait another 15 seconds to get to 10 minutes. Hey, you know what I realized? Lifeline is a laxative to him, dude It's just it's how is it always the first 10 minutes? I don't get it because he doesn't think he has to go then lifelines a laxative Unbelievable, that's unbelievable lifelines a laxative to you Dying he's laughing and then sort of coughing. He's gonna die in there. Alright, so let's start it. Let's get going. Yeah

Hey Matt and Chris, Britt from Jersey. I actually just got some on Clear and I know you guys are from the area. So I figured this would be a good submission because my issue is about shitty drivers. It took me about an hour to get here and I lost track at how many times I lost my shit on people.

And to be clear, I'm not like rolling down my window and like screaming at people or trying to swerve them off the road but the amount of times I got unbelievably pissed off at people is not healthy and my main issue is that when I'm sitting passenger and somebody else is driving and they start to get annoyed or pissed off I'm like calm down it's not worth it man but then the second I get behind the wheel it's like I think really changes a person and I'm out here Mf'ing people's grandmas with zero remorse and it's not good But I cannot for the life of me figure out why I can't just take my own advice

I don't know. Does this happen to you guys? Am I alone? Love you guys. No, it's so What do you call it? Identify with that, dude. But we were literally talking about this last episode. When people are driving, they become maniacs who get mad at a fucking drop of a feather. It's crazy how that goes. Like I was saying, me too, like I do it too.

It's so, you know what it's kinda like? I noticed this when I was a kid. First I noticed it too. It's so, you know what it's kinda like? I noticed this when I was a kid. First I noticed it about you. You were always such a bigger dick when you were playing video games. Yes, yes, yes. And I noticed after that, everyone is such a dick

while they're playing video games. It's almost like when their automatic pilot brain is doing something. Same idea. It's like, they're just like, they don't think as much about how they are being. Right. And they just, they're so liable to fly off the fucking handle, dude.

So if I'm in a car with somebody and they're driving like, and they're like, oh, this guy, this and that, it's stressful for me. I don't like it. Yeah, me neither. But if I'm in my goo shit sandwich, and I'm driving and I'm like, this guy, right? And I'm getting pissed, I'm in my goo shit sandwich, and I'm driving and I'm like this guy, right? And I'm getting pissed, I'm doing exactly so you're being a hypocrite really,

is what it is. Yeah, but what is that? It is weird, huh? It is weird how that happens. I am like that 100%. It must be a control thing. It must be a control thing. It must be a control thing.

It must be- How though? I don't see that. I don't know, I don't know. It just has to do with you It must be a control thing. It must be. How though? I don't know. I don't know. It just has to do with you doing it and then. Yeah. But you don't think about it.

It's so knee jerk. You're just like, oh, fuck this guy. No, I know, I know, I know, I know. Fuck him. What the fuck is this guy doing? Fuck you. It's just like you turn into fucking an anodized clay the minute you get behind the wheel.

How weird is it? How? I think the reason you're not like that in the past is because your first and foremost worried about your safety. And you don't want someone behind the wheel. How weird is it? How? I think the reason you're not like that in the past is because your first and foremost worried about your safety and you don't want someone behind the wheel to be a maniac. Maybe. You know, I'm gonna say something about this. The New Jersey accent, that much of it,

like where it's like, she's obviously from New Jersey. She didn't have that much of one. Well, I don't- Is that what you mean, that much? Okay. And then maybe She didn't have that much of one. Well, I don't- Is that what you mean that much? Let me finish what I'm gonna say. Okay. And then maybe you won't say that. Okay.

That much of one, where you know she's from New Jersey, but it's not overboard. Is that better? That's what I was gonna say. Sure, yeah. Because you can tell she's from New Jersey. I was trying to, okay. No?

It's pretty light, but yeah, you could. It's not light. You could, yeah. It's not light. I thought it was light. It's not light. I thought it was light. And the fact is, is that it's not light. I thought it was light. It's not light. I thought it was light. And the fact is, is that it's not light.

I thought it was light. But it's not. I listened very closely and my thoughts were this. You didn't listen closely enough then because It was light. If we were in Provo, Utah and she came along, you'd be like, what the fuck? No, I'd be like,

oh that person's probably from New Jersey. You would be like, this is Luigi from Mario Kart. No, I thought be like, oh, that person's probably from New Jersey. You would be like, this is Luigi from Mario Kart. No, I thought it was light. No, it wasn't light, though. And when someone has that much of it, that much, light or not, I instantly feel a connection to them because we grew up that way. Isn't that weird?

I don't know that fucking person. That's weird, yeah. But you feel that way too, right? No. Of course you do. We've talked that way. Isn't that weird? I don't know that fucking person. That's weird, yeah. But you feel that way too, right? No. Of course you do. We've talked about this. Wait, why? You feel more comfortable with somebody who's talking to you like this.

Oh, comfortable with them, yeah, but I don't feel a connection with them. I guess that's what I mean. I don't feel like a connection. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like I feel comfortable with them and like. Yeah, I know how to be around people like that. Like if a guy's like, hey, what's up, what's up?

That's better than, hey, how's it going? Well, cause I feel like I know how to be around people like that. Like if a guy's like, hey, what's up? What's up? That's better than, hey, how's it going? Well, because I feel like I know how to, I instantly feel comfortable because I feel like I know how to be around people like that. Yeah, totally. Isn't that weird? Fuck. And that's why people are racist.

OK, that's not why people are racist. Because you don't know. You don't know. You're scared of what you don't know, dude. Yeah. Yeah. A lothmm. Yeah a Lot of black guys in New Jersey a lot of black guys in New Jersey So that means we do know them. I am NOT racist because you've been exposed to them

It's not comfortable around them exactly But you go to you get take somebody who grew up in an area where there's no black people They see black people when they get older they they what? They shit their pants. They shit their pants. Okay. They could go like this, and start crying. They could do that. I don't think that's common, but it's possible.

Or you could be holding a tray, and you could be like this, and all this stuff could be shaking on the tray, a tray of food and stuff. That's how they react. Maybe if they saw somebody. Maybe, I don't think that that's correct. That was black.

If they're racist. And the milk's just, kikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikik so we feel a kinship with you because you're from New Jersey. But I also do feel that way about the driving thing. And I think that I would, I don't know if most people are like that. I just realized something. I think it's weird when people don't say their name at the beginning of a video. Oh, really? Yeah, they should say their name so I can say,

hey, Nancy, here's what I think. I don't, I don't think it's weird at all. All right, well, go fuck yourself. Why would you say your name? So I could say, hey, Nancy, here's what you do. Hey, Brett, hey, Barnaby, hey, Barnacle. I mean, an alien that doesn't know human names. I'm just trying to get the name so I can give it more personalized advice. Okay, go ahead. Okay.

Cult members. Hey, Matt, hey, Chris. So my girlfriend and I can't seem to agree about how I should wear button downs like this. I think that the first button should always be left undone. Otherwise, you look like you have a bit of a stick up your ass, and it just doesn't look as good. OK. Now, to me, this has never actually been comfortable. I've never once in my life thought this would be comfortable, because the air kind of hits my chest a little weirdly,

and it feels a little bit oddly revealing. So I'd rather button it up. And furthermore, I think she should actually see it as sexier when I have this button down because she knows that I find that more comfortable and I'm wearing it the way that makes me feel comfortable rather than wearing it like a fake way to look sexy. Were you him?

Please help us solve this fashion dilemma. Thank you. What a sweet couple. He's right, he's right. She's completely right. You do. She's completely right. You do. She's completely right. You look like a fucking moron when you button it like that.

Very cute you think it's sexier when it's like that, but in fact it's not. She didn't say anything about sexier. She said you look like you have a stick up your ass. No. Much. Yeah, she did. He said, I think she should think it's sexier.

I don't think sexy enters the equation for her though. Okay. He should wear it how he wants. I, by the way, I think it looks better it's sexy. I don't think sexy enters the equation for her though. Okay. He should wear it how he wants. I, by the way, I think it looks better all buttoned up. Okay? Oh, I don't. That's what I disagree with. I think the second best is the way he does it.

The third best is one more button up. But that's what he likes. The third best is the way he does it. He wants to do it. Yeah, the way he wants to do it is the worst way. Arguably, it really depends on the shirt, honestly. Sure. Really.

But if there's a general rule, the way he wants it is the worst way. I say it goes best, second best, worst. But... So you look at button all the way up to the top button? Yeah. Okay, fucking Cholo. Yeah.

That's Cholo shit. Fine. Okay, no, I'm not like, that's just, yeah. That's Cholo shit. Fine. Okay. No, I'm not like that's just yeah. The higher the buttons, the downer the fool. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, that's right. The higher the socks, the downer the fool. That's so funny. Whoever thought of that. That's something? Yeah. Oh wow, I never thought of that. I never heard that I mean. Yeah. I never thought of that. My own. Yeah, he's right because what he thinks is sexy is sexy. Period. Because you are the man dude. That is so fucking stupid. That is the faultiest fucking logic dude. You're extending something way too far. It has no business being extended that far. People being themselves is attractive to a point.

It's not attractive beyond all tastes that everyone else has. Then why do women always want to fuck serial killers? They don't. Well, at all. But... Jeffrey Dahmer couldn't get laid and he was gay anyway. Other serial killers kill people specifically because they couldn't get laid and he was gay anyway. Right. Other serial killers kill people specifically because they can't get laid their whole fucking life. True. Thank you.

But the lore and afterwards women are always like, ugh, they were so hot. Explain that. No, because that's not a fucking thing. All right. Nobody after Jeffrey Dahmer's executed goes, you know what? Jeffrey Dahmer was so hot. I wish I sucked him All right. Nobody after Jeffrey Dahmer's executed goes, you know what? Jeffrey Dahmer was so hot. I wish I sucked him to completion.

You're the most, you've been so wrong so many times. You've never been more wrong or just wildly off base than you are right now. Congratulations. No, dude. Oh man, you electrocuted Jeffrey Dahmer. Damn, that sucks. Wish I could have sucked him to completion.

Well, inmates beat him up and killed him out of retaliation. Oh, yeah, he died in prison. They beat him up. I'll never get to suck him to completion. That's what chicks did. Literally that day. Nope. Nope.

Nope, he was gay. Oh, he can't. OK, well, great, great. Oh, they gave him the death penalty. They gave John Wayne Gacy the death penalty. Great. He'll never deposit inside me. Do you know how many women thought John Wayne Gacy was attractive?

I guarantee you the answer is absolute zero. He's disgusting and fat and gross. I know, but Ted Bundy was. But Ted Bundy was attractive regardless of what he did. And I look like him. He was an attractive guy. He was not attractive because he's a killer. Right. He's attractive because he looks the way he looks.

Women like a bad boy is what I'm saying. Anyway, not a fucking serial killer. Like a bad boy, like, yeah, a guy who like rides a fucking motorcycle. A guy who has his finger on the nuclear button to end the world gets the most pussy because he's the biggest bad boy. Sweetie. Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump or Joe Biden, I guess. I'll do it.

Sweetie, I'll do it. So not sexy. So not sexy. So incorrect. Wow. Most incorrect. Anyway, he should. Oh my God.

He should obviously, if, look, he should do whatever the fuck he wants, but if he's trying to do what she likes, if he's trying to look good to her, which he should care about, because ostensibly he's the only motherfucking person that he should care about being attracted to him, because this is his fucking partner,

button it the way she likes it. And then you'll be banging around in the most, because she finds that sexiest. Maybe, but sometimes women, and maybe men too, but women don't, they think they want something when in actuality they want the opposite thing. Yes, sometimes. But can we agree? That sometimes, yes. How come, oh when women are first getting relationship, I love that he's like that, and then four years in they're like, if I would change one thing and it's the thing you were attracted to me about oh so now what it's what you signed up for. Sedeeper. The fucking all-time record of Sedeeper. Wow yeah dude that's

not what you wanted you liked that I did shows every night. So deeper, wow. Yeah, button it the way she wants, man. It's better for everybody. Also, it's better for me because the way you want to button it fucking sucks my balls. I wouldn't go that far, dude. Sucks my fucking balliesi mose. Don't wear it the way you want. It looks like fucking dick shit. I mean just

Andrew Dice Clay It looks like shit. Oh All right, all right No one So close. Oh, I find it needs some advices My wife's best friend it talks to a lot of guys She really only talks to guys for about three to four weeks Which is super annoying because I have to pretend to be their friends and then oh, yeah

She brought one around six months ago He was kind of swasted kind of annoying so I was so dick and just ignored him Okay, of course. This is the guy she has updated for six months We try to set up a double date with them And he said he doesn't feel safe around me and doesn't want to be anywhere near me. Safe? Um, which is crazy because I'm under six foot which means I'll talk about this every time I go out in public. Cause a big problem in their friendship then I need help.

That was funny. That is funny. That is a good submission. Dude, this is King or in fucking Oakleys? Of course he's scared of you. He's intimidating. Well, he doesn't- you don't look like you can't. You don't look like you're not intimidating. You're the man, dude. You got Oakleys? Of course he's scared of you. He's intimidating. You're not fucking Oakleys dude. You don't look like you can't. You don't look like you're not intimidating. You're the man dude. You got Oakleys on. I mean you know, yeah you look healthy and good. You're the man. And so what I would say, that's funny, but that's what the fuck? What? Who is this guy? What a grown man after having one, spending one night around another guy who's like not like being super nice

to him. The next time he's potentially gonna be around him is like, I don't feel safe around him. Like what? I don't, wait. This girl's got the worst taste in guys. I don't feel safe around him. If that's honestly what he said, that is absolutely crazy.

I almost don't even believe. Well, here's what I think, you know, because sometimes women embellish. Here we go. But if she said that that's what he said when it's not what he said. Right. But let's just- Game of telephone. I also find it hard-

You really want the game of telephone to change. If you want a bunch of women to play, then the game of telephone will change. I also find it hard to believe that the guy said that, but let's just say that's what he said, because that's what the submission says. Okay, sure. Yeah, well then you basically call that dude and you threaten him. Wow.

And you say, hey, buck up motherfucker, let's go get a drink. I just, no, tell her like, look, bring him around, tell him to get over it, whatever, and then when you see him just like laugh and be like, dude, what do you mean you don't feel safer on me? Like what are you talking about? And be laughing. But you do it laugh and be like, dude, what do you mean you don't feel safer on me? Like what are you talking about? And be laughing.

But you'll be like this, dude, your girlfriend, she's always bringing dudes by. I have no idea who she's gonna suck off from week to week. I didn't know you were gonna stick around. So I didn't know I had to be your friend. Yeah, exactly, yeah, yeah. Anyway, let's go grab a beer. Yeah, there you go.

So she sucks off a lot of guys. Yeah, that's pretty much it. That's crazy though. Imagine saying go grab a beer. Yeah. There's an awful lot of guys. Yeah, that's pretty much it. Yeah. That's crazy, though. Imagine saying that about a guy. Yeah, that's weird. I just saying that about a guy to someone. So then they know how weak you are. Pretty well, he didn't say to him, right?

No, to someone, I said. He said it to his girl. It's even worse to admit that to your fucking new girlfriend. Let me just do it like, wow,. Let me do it like this though. There's a difference between I don't feel safe around that guy and you know, it's like I don't feel safe around that guy. Yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Completely different. Still, those are extreme words. I think the right response is I don't want to be around that guy.

He fucking sucks Did you see my roll the decks of acting chops right there? That was really good. Yeah. Congratulations, man. Thank you All right, let's do another one Hey guys, I love you guys so much Most I gotta know when the um joke started on Patreon but I don't know if it matters 391 Oh on patreon, but I don't know if it matters 391 Congratulations, make it by Craigslist posts on two of them at the end You make jokes about what they say like one of them you go five for um, the other one you go

Oh, I cool. Um, this stuff and I got like please get into When you started that it's my favorite man people And I love you guys Thank you, man, dude. Thanks, dude. You gotta you guys. Thank you. Thanks dude. You gotta, you should be on the fucking radio. That voice is so smooth. You should be on the radio or next to Winnie the Pooh. So it's dude, you and Eeyore. What's Eeyore? Eeyore's the, well, donkey guy. So yeah, people love that. What did we call it? We called it something recently and I can't remember what it was and we were like that's a perfect thing to call it.

Anyway, whatever. Oh. You remember? But that wasn't that. That was about something else though. It's a non sequitur thing. The um? Yeah.

But that, no, that's what he's talking about. The non sequitur thing. Oh, why is he saying calling it the um thing then? The um thing is different. Well, the um thing is- It's like, I'm moving on, um. But no, I think he's talking about us being like, annulated clutching our pearls when I'm doing this.

I don't think, no. I think he's talking about just you saying, um. Yeah, I think that too. And maybe the kind of thing that would. Sometimes it crosses over though. Sure, but the um is a specific thing unto itself. Yeah, but if I'm like blind. Yeah, that's what he means.

That's what I'm saying. But that's what I'm saying, that's what that is. But it doesn't, but that's not like blind, um, yeah, that's what he means. That's what I'm saying. But that's what I'm saying. That's what that is. But it doesn't, but that's, but that's, that's not the even example he gave anyway. Eh, Kenny Powers, um, right. The same thing. Right, but you don't always do it after the non-secret. Like it's not the same thing. You don't always do um after the non-secret. There you go. And there we have it. But I have a feeling he's a little confused. Why are you putting that on him? You're deciding he's confused when he's not being confusing. Why are you putting that on him? You're deciding he's confused when he's not being confusing.

Okay, so he just like, okay, we'll take it to um thing then. The um thing started- Goes back forever. Way back. We were in high school. Oh yeah, yeah, exactly, yeah. That was with- Mike Stevens.

Yeah, Mike Stevens. And I mean, that was just um, we would just- Okay, um. Yeah, yeah, that's where it would start. Yeah. Okay, so yeah, um is different than the non-secret. It was basically to indicate, it started as a way to indicate some kind of discomfort

and drawing attention to it, and then quickly like the um indicating like some, okay, we're moving on, I was fucking weird, um. Quintessential is, um, feel uncomfortable, um. Yeah, exactly. You just do that, right, okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's quintessential. Did any of it come from Conan?

Charlie Rose? Charlie Rose? No, no, no, no, no, no. Conan? It did not come from Conan. What's that? Or what? I know who he is.

He does a version of it, for sure. What does he do? Yeah, but it was before Conan, for sure. OK. 100%. Conan did do that sometimes, yes. And when he did that, I was like, that's funny. That's what Mike Stevens and I did when we do it.

What does he do? He does that? He'll go, um. He'll just, I was like, that's funny. That's what Mike Stevens and I did when we do it. What does he do? He does that? He'll go, um, he'll just do it. Oh. Oh, it's something. Yeah, like he'll be talking to a hot woman or like she's seducing him.

I'm sweating now. Um. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Yeah, that's the same thing. Yeah, hot women talk to me too, but I like that example, Jokes. So anyway, yes, that's where that comes from. If you're talking about the non sequitur thing.

But you clearly want to talk about. You're right, I put that on you. You may not be talking about that, but you're talking about like, like, yeah, I mean, didn't say a single word right now. But yeah, but that started when did that? That started probably, I was in my early 20s. Yeah, that wasn't that long after that. All of it's been around so long.

Almost none of it is like new. No, none of it's new. Yeah, yeah. Wow. It is long lasting. So that's the story of Um. The long arm of Um. Ha ha ha!

The long arm of Um, dude. We would read, you'd have to read that in high school and you'd get, and fucking you'd skim it and then you'd do the test and you'd get a fucking D dude. Bless me Ultima, remember Bless Me Ultima? Oh fuck! Yeah. The fucking cover was stupid. Chingada was in there. Everyone was like oh my god it's a Spanish swear word.

It was like oh whoa whoa whoa she said fuck but it was in Spanish so it's okay. Look up Bless Me Ultima. Chingada. You read Bless Me Ultima, we didn't in Spanish, so it's okay. Look up Bless Me, I'll help the money. Chingada. You read Bless Me, I'll help the money. We didn't have to. Oh really? Interesting. We had to read it, our eyes were watching God.

I mean, we all had to read more than one book, but okay. Oh, I read one. There we go, that's the one I had, the purple one. That's not the, those aren't the book covers I know. Oh yeah, the purple one, yeah. You said you didn't have to read it. I don't know why, I'm probably thinking of a different book. I read.

I don't remember this at all. Okay, anyway. Bless me, um, to my. Bless me, um, okay. All right. That's good. Anyway, next one. Hey guys, I just hopped on really quick

to let you know that what we mean when you've saved our lives is like Christy right like when we're super low and we don't think anything in life could get better and you know, we want to Yeah, you know eat ourselves You definitely put a smile on our face you and Matt and Yes. You definitely put a smile on our face, you and Matt. Cause I know that's happened to me. So I'm forever grateful. And yeah, if you ever stop doing your podcast, I'm gonna kill myself.

Wow, okay. Well, thank you for saying that. And thanks for being very clear about it. So we know. That. That was great. Could you imagine if that's what it was? That was the most genuine I've ever laughed at a submission.

Same. Fucking funny. I would say so, yeah. Well, there was, no, remember the guy who's- Not the hardest, but the most like, well, okay. Caught me off guard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe the hardest we laughed was the guy who was drunk.

Oh, yeah, yeah. What was it? You couldn't understand a word he was saying? The dude- The guy with the French- Oh, yeah. No, it was the guy asking about the knob on the car. No, but we laughed at that because of what we were saying. Yeah, right, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think it was the guy who was pen pals with the French girl. Yes, yes. That was the first episode. One of them. And then he followed up. It could have been one. It was the guy with the toothbrush. Yeah, that's what it was.

That's right, no, Anthony's right. that's what it was. That's right. That's it. Number one. Hands down, Anthony's right. Anthony. I have something that's annoying. That's her toothbrush. That guy, right?

Yeah, that guy. That guy was unreal. That guy was, but this was the most off guard. Yes, you're right. Even that clip went like millions of views, that fucking toothbrush clip. Oh, did it? I don't even remember.

On Instagram, yeah. Oh yeah,'t even remember. On Instagram, yeah. Oh yeah, it did get pretty up there, yeah. It was so funny. Anyway, we're getting deep in the weeds here, but that's sweet. All right, we won't stop. We won't stop to save your life. Yeah, keep your life going. You seem cool.

She does. She's also called in before, I think. I didn't recognize her. I recognized her for something. Anyway, that is great. I do love, I gotta tell you man, I love this podcast. Yeah, me too. And it's weird to me that I don't know what's going on, but it's not like, like there's other podcasts that are like, like Bad Friends Take Bad Friends. Like that's a good podcast. Those are funny.

But they're funny. So like, we're good like that. You say we're better or as good or just under or whatever. But like- Well, it's subjective anyway. Yeah, of course, yeah. But like, dude, this is it. Because you know why? This is cult shit, bro.

That's why. Meaning? You know, like this would be the, this is the cult classic of podcasts, dude. Ah, interesting. Just got something rammed, inserted into your butt so deeply and it was so freezing. I just, I simply can't believe how much my contacts

are annoying me right now, hang on. Learning English. I simply cannot believe how much my contacts are bothering me right now. At the glasses place. Look what I found though. Look what I. A magician. Look what I found.

A magician. It's a bitch. Dude. Wow, so bitch, dude. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Bitch! Look what I found though, dude.

I mean, I lost a member. Oh, you found him, right? I found him. All right, cool. All right. Now we're back in business, baby. All right, well let's go to the next one. Yep.

Hey guys. JD Vance, JD fucking Vance. Hey guys, what do you guys think of my debate performance on uh on October 1st? Every okay Hey guys big fan of the show My name is Chris with a K and I feel like change it well There's every time I have to put my name down somewhere so when asked what it is

I always have to specify it's Chris with a K your parents fuck or else. They're gonna put down Chris with a C I always have to specify it's Chris with a K your parents fuck or else they're gonna put down Chris with a C ors My question is is this just something I'm burdened by yes Should I change my name should I wear a name tag all the time that says my name well gangster? So my question is just how can I go about not having to explain it every time for me and for other people? I've ever seen in my life non such generic names never self lotioning them So thanks anyway gotta go lotion my hand. Let me say something about this guy. Wakes up in the morning, grabs a barbersaw, puts it in his hand, puts it together, goes like this. Gets his razor, goes like this. And then he's done shaving for the day. Pull up, pull him up again.

Ooh, is it really like cut off? It's just got so much chest hair, so much beard, and no hair right here. And that's how he shaves. Wow, interesting. He's actually a wolf. He just shaves this part. Oh wow, that's amazing. Okay. But yeah, I think the name tag thing is truly baller

if you wanted to do that. K-R-I-S for a man is crazy. It's not, it's K-R-S-1, you know? I think that- You spelled my name K1, you know? I think that. You spelled my name KR-S. I think the way you got to do it is just to be like, I'm Chris with a K. Chris with a K. I know it sucks.

My parents fucked me anyway. Well, you leave that part out. But you say the first part like you're going to say that part. Like you're pissed. How about Chris with a K? Chris with a K. Yeah. What's your name?

Chris with a K. No, so one time I was listening to back when the radio was Prevalent, you know, it's a long time ago. Yeah. Yeah, like there was no what I mean is there's no XM. Yeah. Yeah, I Was driving I was a friend I was close to Jack in the box. Okay driving to Foothill Boulevard. Okay, this is knocking out of you and in like another guy and Jack in the Box, driving to Foothill Boulevard. OK, this is in La Quina. And in La Quina, yeah. And somebody and the KS, there's a KS1 song that goes. He was the shit.

Yeah, really great. He there's a song where he goes, fuck school. OK. And that happened. And it was after school. And everyone went, whoa, on the radio. And they're like, oh, we play the wrong version. Oh my god. That funny? Wow I've never heard that. I know. That never happened. We always played that. Like this is

right after school and we messed up we played that we didn't mean to okay. Yeah. That funny? Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. And I and you made it up. No I. Congrats man. You know what's funny is if somebody told me that I don't know if I believe them. But you know I don't do that. I don't like when people knee-jerk, don't believe people's absolutely meaningless stories. That story, you do this. He does this. You know why?

Motherfuckers lie. But who cares? No, but about this kind of shit, who cares? Believe the story. It's more fun to believe that story. It's not like somebody's talking about like some fucking. I get it. Current political thing that's important.

You don't want people to lie about that shit. But it doesn't matter if somebody's lying about something that happened in 1990 fucking three. I'd rather not. On the radio after school one day. Motherfuckers! Okay. Okay.

Next. What's that from? My life. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Exclusive my life. Exclusively my life. Exclusively my life. That's great.

Right. Hey guys, I just have quick advice for the Australian. Go back, go back. The first still. So... What? So what? Drunk!

Oh wow, that's funny. I was gonna say, I was gonna say just the most pleasant person in the world. Yeah, I mean she probably is, but... So drunk right there. So drunk sure. Hey guys. I just have quick advice for the Australian woman from last episode who? Doesn't know what to say to the friend that keeps texting her. Oh I had to deal with this recently and I think her best bet is to Text her and say hey, I don't see us being close friends right now No, that's upsetting. I'm sorry. I think we're just

Drifting apart and we're really different and I wish you all the best and then don't respond after that you're done Wow, I don't have to deal with the stress of her text. That's so fucking baller every month. You're not a liar you've told the truth and You're always gonna be so dick in this situation like Chris said so you might as well be honest Okay, that's it Cute ah dude. I look honestly for women. I think that that would work much better than for men If a man did that to a man that person would have to lock his fucking doors at night and get a deadbolt Because that motherfuckers gonna be dead soon, dude.

Yeah, yeah. That is a very... We love talking like all of it out, bro. They love being direct and communicating and getting it done, dude. Well, guys like being direct. Some guys are like... A lot of guys do. Anything but to hit the thing on the head.

True, true, true. Or anything that have to be forced into, what? Look how close his mouth is getting. You're doing it again? Fucking last episode now doing two episodes again? No, so I'll describe it again. I know it's the same episode, it's a different episode. I'm sorry.

He goes too low. He's eating during the episode, which is fine. He has a whole appendage here, dude. Yeah. And he gets the fork and then he moves his whole body up. I know what he's doing. And you don't think that that's weird? No.

Wow, dude. Bro, who cares? He doesn't want to get it all over himself. It's because I'm wearing a white shirt. Guys wearing a white shirt again. I know, but why don't you just do this? Moreover, why does it bother you? Why does it bother you that he doesn't do that?

It doesn't bother me, it's astonishing. It's like seeing that is truly like being in Alaska on a cruise ship and looking out. And seeing? Oh, just seeing Alaska? Yeah, just. It's unbelievable. Glacier's just. That's what that's like to me.

That's crazy that's like to me. That's crazy. That it's that crazy. That's crazy. What's the craziest of all of it is how crazy it is to you. Truly. Truly. I mean, I, you know, okay. Okay.

So upset. You don't. I'm just crying. Roiling mad. You don't. So you would, you would def. You would track that and you would see that and you would think that is so something.

I would think, oh, bitch, but I wouldn't, I wouldn't be like, I can't believe he's doing it. It's astonishing, you know? I feel like I've probably done that before, where you're like, yeah, I've definitely done that. Where you're like. Yeah, but when you, after you do it a few times, you're like, what am I doing? Like a chip. I have a whole arm. With like a, like that before where you're like, yeah, I've definitely done that where you're like, yeah But when you after you do it a few times like what am I doing?

Like a chip with like a like that I'm dipping into something. I will lean forward It's definitely so bitch. No, that is also so bitch. You kidding me like this, dude like just Bitch dude, there's no way around the bitchness. It's just yeah. He is saying the burrito he has is very sloppy He did say that he mentioned that he did mention that so he has a lot of defense Sloppy BJ. Okay. All right next What's up Kirsten bad big fan of the bot Boy, so my question is do you guys ever run into the situation where you're in a discussion with someone and you're trying to think?

Of a word to describe something. Oh to describe something but it's eluding you in the moment and all you could start thinking about is how dumb you look trying to think of that word rather than actually thinking of the word itself or trying to describe it a different way and you kind of get into this like flustered brainfuck, Steve. I run into this problem a lot, and I was wondering if you guys have any spin moves, or if you have run into this, and how you, if you've encountered this, like see, it just happened right there, and how you guys handle it, thanks.

What did you say right there? See, it just happened right there. Oh, this happened to me the other day. I hate it when it happens. About a word, I can't remember the word, of course. But I don't think I look so stupid. It happens to everybody. Yeah, I think the same thing you do, yeah.

It was a word that was so regular. It's a word sometimes that's just regular. Sometimes it's just, yeah. It wasn't like dog, but it was like, you know, something like. That would be so fucking, I'd be worried about someone if they couldn't think of the word dog, imagine. Well that means you have a fucking brain tumor.

Yeah, they're like, they got hair, they're always in everybody's house, they're like pets, they slobber, and you're just like, fucking dog? Yes, dog, yes. You're like, cousin it? No, no, it's way more common than cousin it. Almost everyone has one.

Four legs. That my friend's uncle had a brain tumor and the reason why they found out is because he was like, couldn't think of what a spider was called. He was talking about a spider. Oh, specifically, really? Yeah. Wow. Jeez.

It was like, it was like a word like aggressive or something where I was like, what's the word? It was like too easy. And I was like, what's the word? It was like too easy. And I was like, this is crazy. I couldn't think about it for so long. And then I did. And I got out of it and I go, yes, got it. The worst for me is when it's the I know it's the exact right.

Well, that was what this was to as well. And I know I know the word. I know I've used the word. I know I like the word. Yeah. I know it's perfect. And it's like I could can get, I can approximate it with like a sentence or a phrase, but I don't want that. Right, right, right.

I want the word that I know. Right, right. Where's the word that I know? It's in my brain, I only have one, I know it's in there. When I think of it later, it's not gonna be fucking right. It's gonna be too late. An overworked computer. It's gonna be too late.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I understand. I'm gonna put my nose things in because I can't fucking breathe right now I mean just you're gonna have so many things every glasses your contacts your nose things you're gonna have like fucking your you know yeah pretty soon matter of time yeah I feel so much better hey someone out there will you buy me that thing that you hold and you point it like a gun at someone while they're talking? A gun? And yeah, it looks like a gun.

No, but you point it and it attaches to headphones and it makes you hear them? I want that. Wait, what is it? Like it's a thing that- Like a spy thing. Yeah, spy gear. I don't hear it. It's a microphone with a satellite.

I don't hear it. I want it. I can't wait till Calvin gets old enough to where he's taller, so his mouth isn't so far away. Right. Dude? I'm walking to school and he's just, what? What? I'm like this, I'm getting so- Such a dad, such a dad, you know?

What? Can you speak up a little bit? And then he's just like, yeah, chocolate, I had chocolate. And you're like, it doesn't matter. Well, everything he says doesn't matter, he's four, you know. But I want that gun thing to hear stuff. Because I already spy on my neighbors, I can see everything that they do.

I got binoculars, I got the really high power binoculars. I see exactly into their window. I see what they're doing. I just can't hear them and I wanna be able to hear them too. So illegal. So I'd have the binoculars and I'd have the gun and I'd be pointing the gun and I'd have headphones on and I would be so perfect yeah just they're right next to me and shit like ten yards away yeah look at that guy that's you yeah

dude get me that someone out there who cares about it has an actual binoculars on it that's crazy that's an all-in in one. All in one, bro? Wow. What if you went to rob a bank with that? All right, I want all the money. Do you think they'd give it to you? No, well maybe. It's scary. They're instructed to do that.

60% would give you all the money in the bank. They're instructed to roll over. They're not instructed to like tell you no or whatever. Hey, is that a real gun? No, wait, that's one of those ones you point out so you can hear people dude look how baller was it called spy listening to fight oh wow doing a whole bit it wasn't even paying attention haha it was the 40% it wasn't a sonar one it was a revolver it looked like one of those things that dogs have

when they get out of hotspot surgery. It does look like that. So they can't bite the affected. It's called a cone, you know? Yeah, but it's way funnier to describe it when you're dying at a fucking bank because you got shot because you thought You're right a fucking spy listening device and real in reality It's a revolver. So you're trying to think of what the thick dog is in the hotspot

Dude said so many more words than you planned on saying with the amount of breath you had in your lungs Like so many more words came to you Dude, I hate when that happens and then Yeah, going and going and going. Yeah. Yeah yeah yeah. You only have room for like eight words you end up saying 25. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. All right. Okay. Who's next? What's going on? What's going on? Chris, repeat caller but I have another one I need an answer to. Yeah I remember this guy. Help me out. When you guys go on vacation, hotel, Airbnb, stay Chris stay Chris around the road all the time, do you guys fully unpack? No. And put clothes on, shirts on, hangers, pants in drawers? Because I'm not crazy. Or are you someone who lives out of your luggage? So I unpack, it makes

it feel more homey, it makes everything easier to find. Yeah. I have a friend who pre-plans fits or outfits. So he'll take a pair of pants, he'll take a shirt, and he'll roll them up and put them individually in a suitcase. I have weird friends. It is what it is. Let me know what you guys think. Matt, next time you're in Chicago, we have to get a beer. Let's do it. I wish I knew where those glasses were from. I knew where those glasses were from. So I've done that. I've unpacked one time. Once?

One time. I mean, I've definitely done it a handful of times. And I know where it was. Five or 10, but I usually keep things in my bag. Unless it's like, it'll get really fucking wrinkled and I need it to not be wrinkled. I'm not gonna be ironing something in a hotel. Well, you might take one or two things out.

But you take a lot of it. That's what I'm saying be wrinkles. I'm not gonna be ironing something in a hotel. Well, you might take one or two things out, but you take a lot of it. That's what I'm saying, yeah. I just, it's, I, my, the guy, Linoche, he used to open for me. He would do it every time. We'd be there for one night. Oh wow. I'm like, bro, this is crazy.

And he was like, why don't you fucking take the thing? I'm like, I think most people don't. Of all people to do that, I know, I know. You think he would not. Yeah, he's got that though. And it's like, so I don't unpack Of all people to do that. I know, I know. He's got that though. And it's like, so I don't unpack, never. I never do.

I never do. Yeah, I don't really get it. Again, unless it's a specific item of clothing that needs to be. It's so not your home. Yeah. It's that it's just like, let's just get through this. Also the reason he gave, it feels more homey. Who gives a shit?

You're not home, that's the whole point. Yeah. You don't want to be home when You're not home. That's the whole point. You don't want to be home when you're on vacation. Maybe if you're on vacation, you want to, and you're there for like a week. Yeah, if you're there for over a week, two weeks, of course, then definitely. But if you're just, it's like a little quick trip.

No, fuck that. Yeah, it's like you're moving almost. Yeah, fuck that. The guy likes moving. All right, we solved that one. All right. Next. Shit. Brian Cowell.

Hey fellas, what's going on? Long time listener, first time video submitter. The issue that I've got is have a ten, almost eleven year old son, sweetest boy, still wants to hold his daddy's hand in public. Oh, I love that one. Which, don't get me wrong, love it, my daddy never held my hand in public so deeper, but I had a conversation with him the other day and I said, buddy, don't you think that maybe you're getting just a little bit old

to hold your daddy's hand in public? And he said, well, what do you mean? And I go, well, do you see any other boys your age that are holding their daddy's hands? And he said, well, no. So I thought, so I said to him, well, did you think that maybe that's an indicator that you're getting a little bit too old

to hold your daddy's hand? And he said, well, I don't know, what do you think? And I said, well, I mean, if you go to hold your daddy's hand and he said well I don't know. What do you think and I said well? I mean if you go to hold your daddy's hand daddy's not gonna sweat your hand away But at the same time daddy doesn't want to hold you back from Becoming a man or scoring the babes To which he said yeah, I understand so Seemed a little bit upset about it thought I would try to get some other

male advice You Chris having a son thought that maybe you could relate to it in some way. So any advice that you guys could offer up would be greatly appreciated and I'll keep creating the fantastic content. Love you guys. Bye bye. Thank you very much. That is a very interesting question.

I will never stop it. He'll can be 35, I don't care. I'll be on 90, I don't give a fuck. It's not like he's 19. And frankly, he's not gonna be holding your hand when he's 13, so why bother? Yeah, that's a good point. Who cares?

That's a good point. He's just gonna stop at some point. Yeah, let your kid do it, let your kid decide. Enjoy the hand holding. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for real, bro. You must like it, you must like it. Well, maybe he doesn't. Maybe he's not. I love it. I mean, I always start to reach for my hand, I go, you know, it. You must like it. Well, maybe he doesn't. Maybe I love it. I mean, I was so reached for my hand. I go, you know, Billy does now. And it's

just like, I'm like, man, yeah, you know, till the wheels fall off, dude. Yeah, why not? I mean, like stop. Might as well continue it as long as you can. He wants to hold in dad's hand for him. Nice. I hold both of dad's hands when we walk. He holds, we're like this, side by side. Oh really? No, he's walking backwards. Yeah, that's how we do that. Interesting.

Pretty cool. Yeah, it's so sweet. That's cute. I get where he's coming from, but I don't think it's Yeah. I get where he's coming from, but I don't think it's necessary. I get where he's coming from. I think the fear is you don't want your son to have other kids think he's, yes.

And I understand that because that can affect him. Yeah, maybe his son's having a hard time making friends or something, and he thinks that's an indicator of why, maybe he thinks he's too attached to his parents. There's a number of reasons it could be, but I think, fuck it, it's gonna happen anyway. He's not gonna be holding your hand when he's 13, 14,

so fuck it. It's awesome you have that relationship with him, honestly. Yeah, yeah. Cool, all right, next one. Hey, Chris and Matt. Just wanted to say, yo, Matt, thanks again for this whole advice. I don't know if you remember me, but.

Of course. Yeah, no, I've never seeing that jack-off guy ever again Yes, living a single life. It's got this fresh haircut in a fresh No, for real. I just like recently was in the situation where I felt really annoyed because Basically, there's this sushi place around my place and I love it. I've been going there all these years It's kind of like my you know place. I just like love it. I've been going there all these years. It's kind of like my, you know, place. I just like the sushi. I don't know. I don't know. One of my friends, I ran into her. She asked me what I'm doing. I was like, yeah, I'm going to the sushi place. She's like,

ew, what the fuck? That place sucks. And then her friend was like, yeah, what the fuck? Ew. And then I just went there and all of a sudden the sushi, it just didn't taste the same and I just ordered them again and I'm hoping it's not happening again and I'm like really annoyed. And I'm feeling like, do I need like a spin move next time that happens? Or just like, how do I get that lava got back? Guys, help me out, I really need this place.

It's like my, a safe space. All right, peace. I think it's too late. Yeah, it might be. Peace. I think it's too late. Yeah, it might be too late. I think that place is tainted now. But you should, that's, depending on how well you know these people, it's annoying that they did that.

That's weird. Hey, I'm going to this place. Ew, you're going to that restaurant? Like who the fuck does that? Agree. Unless it's like your closest friend. You're like, ew, you like that place? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know? That's true. That's weird. It is weird, but I think in the future, avoid people like that, because it's weird that someone would do that, those people suck. But like, I don't think there's a way to go back

and rediscover your love for the sushi place. I think it's gone. Rediscover your love for the sushi place. I think it's gone. Rediscover your love for the sushi place. I think it's gone. I think that love will never be rediscovered. One woman meets two women that ruin the love for sushi. Yeah. How much, by the way, frankly, in all seriousness, does that sushi place suck?

Yeah, it's terrible. I already know it's terrible. It has too much fish. It's so bad. It's like gamey. frankly, in all seriousness, does that sushi place? Suck. Yeah, it's terrible. I already know it's terrible. It has too much fish. It's so bad. It's like gamey. It's too chewy. It's not chewy, yes.

It's too chewy. And you should know that by the way they react. And they put too much sushi inside the things and it's like, more is not better when it comes to sushi. Yes, dude. This is an elemental misunderstanding about sushi. The rolls are too big. More is not better.

The rolls are too big. Dude, I know. I know. And it's so annoying that she doesn't better. Dude, I know. I know. And it's so annoying that she doesn't know that, to be honest. You know what? They did you a favor. They are assholes by doing that in the first place.

So you're saying basically, no one sushi places are bad and you won't run into this problem. Well, I'm saying in this instance, yes. But they are rude. They're rude assholes, but sometimes rude assholes do people a favor. They were right rude assholes. Yeah, and they did you a favor. They stopped you from going to this place. Now, is it annoying? Of course, you liked it, it was probably cheap.

Of course it was cheap because they give you too much sushi and it's an amount and it's too chewy. And it's bad. And it's bad. But that's the way the cookie crumbles. We make friends, sometimes they say things that they're not supposed to say, and then everything's fucked up from then on forward.

Well, if you are eating a sushi, also wait, hold on. Let me say this, every now and then, great sushi places have a bad night. Yeah, but she's been there a lot. Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. So I'm saying, give it another shot. Definitely give it another shot.

That's the main thing. They put too much sushi on the plate and we know it. Too much fish for sure. I mean, you know. There's just no way it doesn't happen. As sushi chef, fuck your girl. Ha ha ha. But yeah, so many places like that in LA, dude,

where it's just like, I want to fucking, something kind of hand roll. It's like this big. It's like, dude, get the fuck out of here. But sushi places in LA are notoriously great. There's a lot of great ones, but there's a lot of, there's just a lot. Well, of course, there's just a lot.

So there's bad ones too. Well, let's see, what's happening is I was supposed to be talking for most of that interaction. I actually. You were talking for about 90% of it. 90% of it, right. And it was too much. No, I don't know if I agree with that.

Of course you don't. 90%, I don't know if I agree. 80, 80, 90. I'd say 60, 65, 70. We do 70. 75 and up. You'll do 75? 75 and up. Bargaining.

What do you mean end up? 75 or more, obviously. That's, no, it's 75. 70, I still think. How about this at 70? I'm sticking at 75. I agree with 75. 75, okay, 75.

Okay then. All right, we're good. Still too much. I got you down. I got you down. No, see now I'm going back to 70. We already agreed on 75. Okay, 75. Okay, then. All right, we're good. Still too much. I got you down. Still too much. I got you down. No, see, now I'm going back to 70. We already agreed on 75. I'm saying still too much to be talking when I was supposed to be talking, 75%.

I'm still hovering around that 75%. Yeah, that's fine. Most annoying people in the world. Yeah. All right. Mom and dad are watching right now. They're just like, my God. What have we done?

Yeah. What is this? Oh, boy. Mom and dad watch every episode. Yeah, dude. No, no, no. All right. Now, you said it. Fuck you, dude.

No, that's so stupid to take issue with the way. You said it like I meant it a certain way and I didn't mean it that way. And the worst part is you know I didn't mean it that way. What do you think I said it? What did it imply about the way you meant it? I'm gonna be honest. Yeah. I forgot what happened. What a wow you must feel have very strong convictions about it then. I said yeah dude they watch it yeah dude yeah man yeah man I said mom they watch every episode you go yeah man because you said it like it's not a bad thing though and I wasn't concerned. Oh no I did not. I did not mean that. That's how I fucking stupid for reading it that way.

You are fucking John Malkovich. Stupid as hell for thinking that. Go on. British. Go on. Alright look man they watch every episode. That's great. I love that. And it's funny to think about them watching every episode. We should have another channel, not another channel. We should have a Lifeline show of our parents watching Lifeline.

That's it. That's all it is. Just a feed of them looking at the screen? Well, no, another video uploaded of them on with the Lifeline smaller and them watching it, uploading a video of our parents watching Lifeline. So, but right, but the camera's on them.

Yes. Yeah, okay, great. Picture to picture. Great idea. All right, and on that note, great episode. Do, yeah, okay, yeah. We'll pitch it to them next time we see them. Actually, that was our pitch to you, mom and dad.

Hope you guys like it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. to them next time we see them. Actually, that was our pitch to you, Mom and Dad. Hope you guys like it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're gonna block us. Yeah, go to get the Patreon, get the Patreon, Lifeline Luxury. Patreon.com slash Lifeline Luxury. Because that's where you get the live episodes and that's also where you get the Lifeline Luxury.

And those are the shit. Get tickets for the December 5th Lifeline Live show, our second ever. Be there or be square, get your tickets before they sell out. And of course get to the Lifeline merch at Lifeline merch. Get the merch and wear it at the show. Lifeline merch.com. Yeah. And also, you know what?

I haven't plugged this in a while. Go to mataliah.com and book your one-on-one sessions with me. Get your sound private advice. Just me, your boy Matt D'Alia, who loves you more than anyone else in the world. Thank you very much. See you next week.