Lifeline - 14, The Nose Job Episode

Episode Date: July 11, 2022

🎧 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: apple.co/3NG2G2G 🔊 Subscribe on Spotify: spoti.fi/3NPUwoT 🔗 All our links: linktr.ee/watchlifeline 💚 Lifeline is the first podcast about you, hosted by Matt D'Elia & Chris D'Elia. You might notice Chris is a bit nasally in this episode and that's because he's had surgery. Today we discuss Santa Claus, height disparities, long distance relationships, how to manage employees, and if drinking 40s under a bridge is okay. 🤳 Want to submit to Lifeline? Go here: forms.gle/EYbqjvyy1A9r728Y9 More LIFELINE: 📸 Instagram: instagram.com/watchlifeline 💃 Tiktok: tiktok.com/@watchlifeline Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Make your nights unforgettable with American Express. Unmissable show coming up? Good news. We've got access to pre-sale tickets so you don't miss it. Meeting with friends before the show? We can book your reservation. And when you get to the main event, skip to the good bit using the card member entrance.

Let's go seize the night. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamex. Benefits vary by car and other conditions apply. Lifeline is an advice show for entertainment purposes only. If you need real help or advice, please seek a therapist or a licensed professional. Hello. Hello.

Hello. Will you please. Hello. Hello. hey dude how do you feel how do i feel yeah i think the question is how do you feel no the thing is how do you feel about now are on you, dude, because they can't see my face. Bro, I'm the shit. Like this, I feel mysterious and like at an arm's length, which is very cool. I may sound a little different to the people who just listened to this podcast. It's because why? I got a nose job. It's not really a nose job, but it's all good. Well, you know what, though? You know what it is. And my nose is going to look very nice once I remove this Band-Aid. It's going to look exactly the same. Well, you never know, right? I mean, I guess, have you seen it without that on there yet? Yeah. So how does it look?

Did they fuck it up and make it look different? No, it's swollen a little bit, but it looks the same. Okay. So that means you didn't get a nose job. Well, you know, I had a deviated septum. And I went to the doctor and he said he would fix it. It was 95% blocked on the right side. You and I have talked about this before.

Yeah, we've talked about this. Because you have it too. The last episode, I think, or two episodes ago. And I got it. And it was three days ago. And here I am back at work. Now, let me tell you something, dude. You know how raw I am, right?

Like, I don't... This is how we do it here. Because we were going to... A lot of people would just skip it, right? But I'm raw and I want to give you the episode. And so I came and I give you the episode anyway, even though I got a full-on nose job. You say nose job,

people are going to think you got an actual cosmetic rhinoplasty yeah i guess that's that's the term yeah i i told him right before i went to pass out i was like yo dude make me look cute i want a bigger nose i want a fucking huge nose like liam neeson dude did you go to the same doctor that i went to when i had my sinus surgery yeah why didn't you ever tell me that that's so weird because i thought me about him do you know why no because i thought mom fucking probably told you oh well no she didn't well i went to doctor in syria dude yeah and he killed it i'll show you here look boom there we go i don't need it jokes on you oh yeah you don't you look exactly yeah i'm swollen oh yeah you are swollen swollen looks a little piggy it looks like you got a nose job well because it's all fucked up you're like shiny around it

because you can't well do anything around yeah i can't do anything around it yeah so i don't need that thing but the doctor told me to put it on but i don't need it but you still sound all fucked up so a little bit yeah why because uh there's stints in my nose oh dude when i so i've had stents i've had stents i've had two different no stance i've had i've had i've had two different nose surgeries in my life one well that's too many one when i was a kid and i uh ran into someone and their forehead smashed into my nose and my nose was crooked and they i needed to get it straightened out, otherwise everything would have been all fucked up.

Like in the world? And growing. Yeah, well, it turned out everything still got fucked up. Yeah. But don't do that. Hurts. Don't touch it. Hurts. They didn't tell me.

They put like cotton way up in my fucking brain. Oh, yeah. I know. And one day I was just hanging out watching a movie with mom and I started to feel something in my nose and I Oh, yeah. I know. And one day, one day, I was just hanging out watching a movie with mom and I started to feel something in my nose and I went to the bathroom

and pulled it out and it was, I was so freaked the fuck out. Bro, that's got to be so scary as a kid too. Covered in blood. Yeah, I was like 12, I think. It's like a horror movie.

Yeah. Cotton kills. It was fucked up. And the next one was when Dr. Masseri fixed my fucking sinuses because I was sick. Oh, so you had two. So you were put, dude, let me tell you what happened before and I'm going to. But now I need the one, And the next one was when Dr. Zanseri fixed my fucking sinuses because I was sick.

Oh, so you had two. Dude, let me tell you what happened before. But now I need the shit you got. So I'm going to have three. Oh, that sucks. And I still got this big ass nose. I haven't fixed it at some point. Get it a little down, dude.

Yeah. Make it cute. Bro, you know how cute you would be with a nice nose? That's the crux of how cute you can be with your face. I think I look good with a big nose, though. As a kid, I hated it. Yeah. But I think now as a man, I think I need the big nose.

I like big noses. You hit on me? I like big noses on chicks, too. You hitting on me? No. Okay. I like chicks with nice, strong, pronounced noses. Okay.

As long as there's no bum in it, dude. No what? Bum in it. Bump? Yeah, bump. Can't say the P. It reverberates in my fucking nose. Hurts.

Okay. Yes, dude. Can't say P's or M'sberates in my fucking nose. Hurts. Yes, dude. Can't say P's or M's. Just hurt twice, all for the sake of telling you. Yes, dude. The fucking, the P, the vibration. Yep. Oh, yeah.

Lost your fucking mind. P on. Yeah. The M is way more. The M is way worse, and I keep doing it. It hurts. Yes, dude. Crash test dummies.

Crash test dummies. A car. Dude, here's the deal. All right? Look. B a little bit. B. Lost your mind.

Here's. Okay. All good. A Vietnam vet. Listen. So here's the deal. My nose hurts. Fucking unbelievable. It's all good. We're here. We're raw, right? We're raw because we're going to do the show anyway. It's all good. A Vietnam vet. Listen. So here's the deal. My nose hurts. Fucking unbelievable.

It's all good. We're here. We're raw, right? We're raw because we're going to do the show anyway. It's all good. It's a little bit nasally. All good. Right?

Keeping it real. What? Nothing. Okay. So got to wear loose shirts so when I take them off, it doesn't rub up against my nose. It causes deviated septum to get all fucked up. What happens when something like you accidentally hit your nose? I go like this.

And I get so mad. But do you think like drastic shit like you need to gotta go back in and do it yeah right yeah why do you why are you like that that pisses me off that you're like that uh i was wearing my sunglasses like this top of my head they go bonk fell on the nose hurt almost drove right directly to the hospital but why are you like that that's the better question uh i want everything to be okay and most of the time it's not gonna be okay and it's all good i need to realize that everything is out of my control talk about with my therapist it's all good yeah everything's definitely but so hold on a second now uh i want to tell you about when i went before we get into the episode i went into the to get the surgery um and the fucking doctor is like you ready and i was like he jokes you know he doesn't stop he does so many jokings hey son stop joking a little bit he does so many jokings

so he is like you ready and i was like sure they already had the iv in i don't want to do this right of course who the fuck wants to do surgery and he's like all right here we go but i'm in the i'm in this shit i'm in this shit i'm not in the gurney yet i'm in this shit right so i'm chilling i'm in the lazy boy chair whatever the fuck they call it you know the chair that goes back and he goes like this he takes a long metal uh what do you call it instrument puts it up my nose i don't know what he's doing i feel like he's checking or clearing it or whatever should have known because i already know what he did but well i don't know what he did he didn't say what i know what he did but you did it i i didn't do that you did surgeries not not not that okay i already know what you're gonna say it's not

no it was not a shot okay i know i understand yeah he put a long fucking thing up my nose, went so far up and then just goes, and I go, whoa. And he goes, all right, next one. And I go, whoa. And I say, what was that? No answer. All of a sudden, it feels like 120 ants were released into my brain. Okay. I don't understand what's happening.

I don't understand what's happening. I don't understand what's happening. Okay? My heart starts beating. I go, oh my God. Right? Ants spreading. Why ants? Plant, plant, plant.

Plant, plant, plant. Put an ant on an ant. Marching ants all over my fucking brain. That's what it felt like, bro. I'm describing it like a novel does. So that's what it felt like. Ants describing it i like i'm like a novel does okay so that's what it felt like ants just fucking making its way around my right so then uh but you know he didn't put ants in your right so but i don't know what he did so i'm like what what is the deal why does this why does this feel like fucking ants marching around in my brain right

so i say what did you do and he says, I numbed you up there. And I go, oh, I didn't know you were going to do that yet. And he says, oh, yeah, we do it beforehand. And I said, oh. So I'm chilling, right? But I'm already a little bit activated. My heart's pumping. And I'm like, oh, my God.

Oh, my God. So I say, is this normal? And he says, yeah. And I said, it feels like you got my brain. Did you get my brain? Wow, that's such a dumb fucking ass question kind of joking though kind of joking right but you i know you you weren't joking but here's what i want i want him to just be like oh dude don't even worry but when you ask a dumb question like that when you're joking they're gonna joke back now

am i gonna be asking dumber questions when it feels like 120 ants are marching around in my brain now the answer to that is yes right right? So he should take that into account and have some bedside manner and be like, dude, I know you're probably worried, but don't even worry about this, right? Yeah, okay. But I say, did you get my brain? And the jokester...

You should have known, yeah. He goes like this. Always. Yeah. He says, always. I said, okay. Hey, but can you be serious? Right.

Yeah, and he says, no, everything's fine. Too late. Because when he said always, my blood pressure dropped to 40. It dropped to 40, dude. But why? Not because I'm a resting athlete. Dude, it dropped to 40 and I go like this, oh my God. And I saw absolute pixelization and I didn't know it.

But later on in the day, Kristen told me I passed out. How? I said I did because i was so so nervous but but you can't pass out laying down hey dude did it okay first first ever yeah i passed out laying down dude they pulled they held my feet up they kristen said my body went like this dude what the fuck dude fucking tell me when you're going to numb my brain, you know? But he didn't. I don't get it at all, dude.

Why would you ask, did you get my brain? You know he didn't get your brain. I know. First of all. Second of all. You can poke through. If you asked it, you knew he was going to joke back with you because he's a jokester. But I was already fucked up and really nervous.

And then so anyway, he's like, let's do it. Went into the gurney. After I woke up, went into the gurney. And then he's into the gurney and then he's like lay down don't remember anything after that woke up nose was fucking hurt to high hell what happened when you got up so honestly i this is the truth i tried to fight the nurses and doctors physically why do you know this did i tell you this i think so i fought i i they the doctor was talking with kristin in the other room and the nurses say he's waking up and he says oh he's awake he's gonna be crazy i gotta go watch this because he knew i was gonna be crazy but there's two things you might do when you wake up

from surgery be combative or be very loosey-goosey he probably thought it's gonna be loosey-goosey dude kristin said it heard like they were trying to tame a woolly mammoth in the other room. Wow. And they were like, Chris, please. They were like, dude, bro, it was so funny. They were like, please, Chris, you just had surgery.

Please. Just try to pin me down. But what were you doing? Like trying to fucking swing. Get up and roar. Yeah. Wow. wow bro it was so funny terrible patient i know they're like chris don't hit your nose terrible patient wow i mean i remember when i got you took me to see i took you yeah and i got you back and i and i woke up and i remember thinking i don't even know why i remember this but i remember i remember telling you and the nurses that I had to go.

I was in a hurry because I had to get to the race. Yeah. Because I thought I was a NASCAR driver. I said, oh, really? He said, yeah. I said, are you a NASCAR driver? And you're like, uh-huh. Dude, it's so weird.

I hate that shit. It's so disconcerting to me. I don't like watching people like that. I don't even remember trying to fight the nurses and shit. Yeah, of course you don't. I went back the next day. I apologized. For real?

Yeah. Just to apologize no i had an appointment yeah here to take the fucking packing out it was awful dude it's all awful it's so uncomfortable but now i guess i'm supposed to be able to breathe soon anyway yeah we should get into the episode i'll talk about this more on my podcast congratulations because it's just me uh but before we even go i got you something look look what i got you. What does it do? Open it up. It's a button. Nope.

Other way. Nope. Other way. Now I'm pissed. Now I'm pissed. And you hit it. Wow. Every time?

Yep. Oh, it's different every time. So many different ones. Okay. So you get these at chrislea.com dude no one i'll ever interrupt you again i got a free one there you go all right so but i didn't interrupt you okay well that's really funny actually it's so obnoxious to have this Imagine a boss and you're just fucking talking and they're doing an interview and they say something you don't like. You just go like that.

I was so dick, dude. Love it. I would love it. You know what would be awesome? If Christian Bale brought it in his press junket for Thor Love and Thunder. All right, dude. You'd be like, so what do you think about your character? And he just goes.

All right, let's do it. Here we go. What's up,ris and matt so my wife was raised to believe that santa claus and believing in santa claus is bad that your parents are lying to you wow while on the other hand i was raised allowed to believe in him and and just thought it was a fun and magical part of my childhood i didn't think of it as being lied to um when i was dating my wife uh her mom asked me so how do you feel about your parents lying to you oh my god all of your childhood oh and that like really hurt me like yeah because i was just thinking

about all the fun memories that i had about they're like playing this santa claus character and i had no problem with it yep um and it continues in that she doesn't want yeah our son to have like the santa claus experience and i'm like is this worth arguing about in the first place santa claus let me know what you guys think oh that is what a best rate that is the best question yeah we've gotten so far and the way he did it too was really nice the way he said it what all of it it was just like the way he said it was very concise and good i mean it wasn't that concise that was a pretty long pretty long video. I didn't think it was that long, but most of you went in the beginning of it. I was thinking about other stuff.

Okay, so you know what he said? Not really. I know he said the thing about... Here's the deal. Okay. I don't like when people... And my therapist agrees with this because we were talking about

what's that thing where they hook up all this stuff to your brain, EDMR therapy, EMRD, or whatever the fuck it's called. Don know anyway it brings up traumas that you don't necessarily know that you have and it helps you work through them and brings them to the surface now my therapist says there's two thoughts of it some of them people think it's good because it brings all your traumas to the surface and you get to work through it. But some therapists think it's bad because sometimes your brain is protecting you

from remembering those traumas. Correct. And you don't necessarily need to work through them because you forget them, and that's okay. So here's the thing. This guy's living his life, having a good time, loving Santa Claus, and then all of a sudden, this fucking mom is like,

hey, how do you think about your family lying to you and he's like oh i didn't really think of it that way and she's like well you know that's what it is technically and she's basically turning something that was beautiful into something like no you really need to think about this and she's fucking him up that's all on her that's on him and he should be able to raise his kid the way he wants to raise her but it's her kid too i know so here's the deal say no stay on your ground why no he's the way he asked it was right he's like is this really something to put my foot down about fucking santa claus bro the kid is gonna be shunned in school no he's gonna be the one that everyone's that is gonna be like ruining it for everybody

i know they're gonna think he's an asshole no no he's gonna be the popular one because he knows i don't know it's it's fucked up that... What the fuck is wrong with your wife's parents, dude? That's really weird. I mean, it is lying, but... If they're not Christian, then I get it. But if they're Christian and they're just like, fucking, no, we tell no lies. What about all the Christian shit?

That's lies. They believe in it, though. Yeah, I know. Well, the fucking... He should have spun it back in his face. Wow. What about the shit about Jesus rising from the dead? you think you believe that shit yeah fucking easter every fucking day you idiot every every year you idiot right so not the way to have that conversation

no he should have flung it back in his wife's mom's face what i think is is it a christian thing did he say that no he didn't say that yeah but i'm saying i'm saying the thing i'm saying uh which is different than what he said. Right. Which is, honestly, you shouldn't be saying that. No, no, no. Because I say he says things, and then I say different things in response to him. I mean, I get it. Yeah.

Okay, good. I know how conversations work. That's what the show is. All right. I don't think that, I think your wife's mom is super fucked up. Wow. I think that your wife was sort of kind of deprived in a weird fucking way of a fun thing.

It's just fun, like fucking whatever. Yeah. But I also think, don't fucking fight about it. Who gives a shit? Really? Yeah, dude, who cares? Dude, I would go nuts

if my wife didn't want Calvin to have Santa Claus. Who cares? Just get him fucking presents. I mean, I guess, but it's like, what about the magic of it and it's so sweet and you wait and you grow up and you're like oh yeah okay i get it everyone was kind of just it was a thing for a kid kids it's not like it fucking so insecure the way you have to do it now because i got all this fucking bullshit in the back of my nose but it's like i got ants back there but um yeah it's like nobody thinks nobody thinks that like they're lies like this is something that's wrong with the the mother that's what i'm saying like nobody's lying to the kids but here's the thing the what the wife

you interrupted me the wife got fucked up yeah by the mom yeah so it's not the wife's fault right so just go with what the wife wants because she's beyond fucked up because the mom fucked her up it's the mom's fault yes so let the wife let the wife fucking have it the way she wants it because she's already beyond fucked up yeah and i guess fuck up your kid but with it and everything too and perpetuate the fucked upness. I mean, the worst fucking therapist. Go ahead and perpetuate the fucked upness. It's like they're going to fight about it?

Yeah, I guess if there's going to be a fight about it, just make sure that you can just get your kids presents and make sure that they can include themselves in the day. But I guess it's not worth it if your wife's going to be fucking crazy and be like, hey, no, no Santa Claus in our house because it's a lie. You know what I mean? Yeah. You're wearing makeup. That's not really how you look. That's a lie, too. How about do that?

Yeah. Say that. Oh, you wear fucking pumps. You're not that tall. What about that? You lied about that. Look, where's the line that we draw? Yeah, where's the line?

Yeah. Either don't wear pumps or they're Santa. Which one? Something bad happened to the mom when she was a kid with Santa, you know? Yeah, no shit, man. But unfortunately, I mean, you know what? The more I fucking think about it,

fuck your wife, dude. Wow. That's so fucking weird, dude. You want to do the thing to make your kid happy? You should be able to do it. You're not lying. Remember when mom told us

there was no Santa Claus and then dad was mad because they obviously didn't have that conversation together and then dad the next year said, know so maybe there is santa claus because we didn't even know you want that you wanted that but we but he still got it for you santa knew and i was like yeah i know what you're doing dude i don't remember that how old were we we were like a fucking way too old you know and mom was like you know there's not really santa

and we're like oh really oh yeah okay and then later later on my dad was like yeah you know mom said there wasn't no santa i was like yeah and she was like well you didn't tell us that you wanted that right i was like no and he's like did you want that and i was like yeah then he's like well santa knew and there must be santa and i'm like all right man we're like wearing a suit you know like 22 you know uh i remember i was like i was like 12 and i i like cornered mom and dad yeah like you're gonna fucking tell me wow that there is no santa claus i know there is no santa claus you're gonna tell me and they wouldn't do it they still they would not do it i was like you guys are being so weird i know i fucking know

how did you know there is no because i because i was i was fucking basically an adult already and i understood that there's no guy who brings fucking presents to every only Christian household and goes down the chimney and is a fat fuck and eats cookies all night. Yeah. Okay?

I still believe. I knew that. I believe in him. Okay. Well, sorry to break it to you, but he doesn't exist. Do you know where... Yeah.

Okay. Well, they don't... By the way, I forgot to tell you. Dallas, I'm coming up. I'll be in there soon. ChrisLeah.com. Dallas. Get your tickets.

It's almost sold out. Go Dallas. ChrisLeah.com. Atlanta. ChrisLeah.com. These are the ones coming up i'll be in there soon chrislea.com dallas get your tickets it's almost sold out go dallas chrislea.com atlanta chrislea.com these are the ones coming up wichita chrislea.com uh and a few others go check it out washington dc too all right let's go to the next one man chris what's up uh i love the show i look forward to it every week i apologize in advance for wearing sunglasses i'm just feeling a little ugly right now. Yeah. And it's all good. There you go.

It doesn't matter. That's cool. So I got a blood test taken for the first time in my life. I'm 33. And the results came back that I have high cholesterol. And I'm a bit of a hypochondriac. So I was really worried about it. I did modify some of my habits and all that.

I did some Googling. But as far as talking to my doctor about it, he's overweight. The doctor? Yes. it you know i did modify some of my habits and all that you know i did some googling um but my you know as far as talking to my doctor about it he's overweight and the doctor yes i just wonder like can you take advice from somebody who very clearly doesn't follow their own advice you know like obviously i would be asking him like you know nutrition advice uh you know health advice and he seems smart and he seems knowledgeable, but how do you feel about people who are very intelligent and seem to give

great advice, but they very clearly don't take their own advice? I'm sure you've met people like that before. Let me know what you think. Yeah, like us. I think for sure he's clearly a professional that knows way more than anybody else in your

life probably. Just because he doesn't take the advice, you should still fucking follow it. It doesn't... Somebody... I think this is a major misconception. Somebody can be great at giving advice. Yeah. Just because they themselves don't take it doesn't mean that it's less good advice.

Right. Those are two totally separate things. That's what you're saying. Like, that's why sometimes really good teachers are failures. Sure. In what they did themselves, right? Like, oh, you can teach acting, but why are you not Brad Pitt? Yeah, because that's a totally separate thing.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, you're good at fucking teaching, but why can't you do? Those who can't do teach is basically what you're saying. No, that's not right. You can maybe do it. You actually probably can do it. So you're saying. No, that's not right. You can maybe do it. You actually probably can do it. So you're just also

a teacher. Right, right. You know? So you want to be a teacher and not make the millions of dollars? Okay. No, not everyone gets

to make millions of dollars. Well, if you were good, you'd be Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt's not even that good. So it's not about being good. It's about looking like fucking Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt's a bad doctor.

I, I, I, yeah, I don't know. I mean, doctor's a fat piece of shit. First of all, if you're a doctor, don't be a fat piece of shit, you know? Like, be healthy looking, right? It's like when you see a cop that's fat, it's like, I'm going to outrun you. I'm going to rob a bank, I'm going to outrun you.

He has a gun now. Yeah, but so do I if I rob a bank, right? Oh, wow. Yeah, so. You're quick. Yeah, dude, I don't know, man. Yeah, you can take advice from a doctor even though he's fat about health. Yes, you can.

For sure. Right, yeah. Because it's not, I mean, you know, maybe he's got food addiction, right? That's something. Oh, hey. Maybe he's got. Overeaters. Who the hell knows?

Right. I'm just saying he probably knows more than. Yeah, he knows more than you for sure. Yeah, exactly. And you're free and easy, sure. So, yeah. Anyway, I think that uh yeah listen to your doctor you have high blood pressure which sucks cholesterol it doesn't matter same

shit no one lead what are they will they both lead to heart disease right i don't think so cholesterol does that's the doctor that's the fat doctor but uh honestly you'll be fine just follow your guidelines to what the doctor's saying and all that shit and if you have a deviated septum get a nose job like i did yeah okay go let's do it hey matt and chris i'm katie i just wanted to ask some advice about my job i am a landscaper right now it's my fourth season doing that and i'm a foreman i have quite a few people on my crew who are 19, 20 years old, whose first season it is. And I know it's a hard job to get into. And there's quite a few things that just take some time and experience to get the hang of. But a lot of them also just don't generally have a great work ethic and aren't listening to me when I tell them what to do.

and aren't listening to me when I tell them what to do. So how do I, as their foreman, get them to listen to me? Or should I maybe just let it go and stop caring so much? Any advice would be awesome. Thank you, guys. If it's her business, I get why she wants them to care. But if it's not, dude, just do your job as best you can. And you can't control other people. But being a foreman, part of her job is making people work.

I know. But what are you going to do, dude? You're only in control of what you're in control of, right? You know what it is? You need to be more charismatic. You need to be a little bit more like, and I don't agree with what he did, but Hitler, right? Because Hitler was obviously really charismatic. Okay.

I'm just going to gloss over that entirely. I'm saying nobody would have followed him. Fucking. Yeah. They don't do what you say, yell at them oh right that's it no not no no well no nothing hitler no right uh yell at them and threaten them that you're gonna get them fucking replaced from the work site right that's it they don't do the fucking shit that you tell them to do, then they're fucking shitty

and shouldn't even be there in the first place. Right. That is a super coveted job. Construction's a fucking good job. Like, union shit. People really, really want those jobs. People need jobs.

And tell those motherfuckers, if you're not going to listen to me, I'm going to fucking get your ass on the street. Yeah. You could be like, you know, you and I would be familiar,

but do you know who hitler was and when they'd be like yeah be like okay well so what he would do is if you didn't do what he was saying he would kill you i'm not going to do that right because uh it's a different time but that's not really what hitler was known for doing but okay this you just bring it up time right this isn't the 40s anymore but and also it doesn't matter what your religion is but I will say I'm not going to do that

but I am going to replace you and this is a very coveted job so please get to work and you know join the third rank or whatever the fuck

you want to say but why would you say that anything about Hitler well you wouldn't but I'm just saying to like add drama to it it would get people really all you got to do is mention Hitler and people are like whoa whoa what like right now

i bet is the most engaged time during this podcast no i don't know most confused time for sure because it makes absolutely no fucking sense yeah um but yeah uh fucking threaten him and maybe do like one of these like the thing where you fucking oh wow really you can just do this oh you don't want to work no you fucking get up. You just get up in their shit and go like that. I don't know if that would work. That's, yeah. I mean, you might as well mention Hitler if you're going to do that, honestly.

No, you get up close to him and you just fucking do like the, like you're going to jump like that. Yeah. I know what you're saying, dude. For people that are listening and not watching. Also, I'm like pretending like I'm about to come at you. Yeah, not fake. Yeah.

Yeah. But also she's a woman and most of the people are probably virile 20 year old men well that's probably why they're not listening that's even more fucked up sexist they're sexist dude yeah so get them fucking fuck dude get them fucking fired bye bye get them fired right they're sexist and lazy get them out of here they're not doing the job fucking report of the higher ups get them the fuck out of there what the fuck are they doing yeah you know the answer to this get him fired why did she have a donut necklace what are those necklaces that people wear what i didn't notice i don't know i'm very very very observant okay so she had a donut necklace anyway all right cool well that's what you do go to the higher ups and tell them and if you want fail safe right talk about the hitler stuff but that's failed that

won't help right next get a book on managing get a book on managing worst advice that's good managing written by that's what that is you need managing techniques yeah yell at them threaten to get them fired yell at them threaten to get them fired you need managing techniques okay joey fatone chris matt what up love what you're doing chris i'm always in my log cabin have been you know well you're in for like three years it's all good hell yeah um so let's get down to brass tacks okay i've been dating this girl for a long time uh the relationship is actually going really well uh you know things are actually on the up uh well they've they've always been on the up um however we both just graduated college i'm going

into the united states navy for you know the foreseeable future um and i'm not going to see her like ever like for a long time how long and i don't know what to do i don't know if i should break it off i don't know if we should like set some ground rules or like boundaries or if i should just like try to slow burn it uh i don't think it's very fair to either of us but maybe it is i don't know i know that like i would find myself getting really lonely in a situation like that um so i don't know trying to keep it brief. You know, I think you guys got the gist. Let me know. Other than that, though, life rips. Keep doing what you're doing, guys. I love it. Hoping you can give me this lifeline. Hell yeah, bro. Listen,

you're in the Navy, bro. That means you're the toughest of the toughest, which means, bro, you're the man. This is what she wants. She wants you to say, sweetheart, wait for me. She wants you to say that. Sweetheart, I love you. I want to be with you. I don't want to break up. I'm going to be away, I don't know for how long, but I'll be back. When I am, we're going to reconvene.

I don't want to lose you. That's what she wants. You don't break up with her. You don't break up with her. You don't break up with her. But here's the thing. You're a Navy. You're a Navy, whatever the fuck.

You're in the Navy. People are going to, you know, you might be gone for however long. Dude, she's going to cheat. Nah, nah. Dude, you don't know what real life's like. She's going to cheat, okay? And that's, and what you're going to do when you come back, you're going to know she is, right?

You're going to know she is because you can see it in her eyes. And she's going to be like a little different, right? And you're going to be like, maybe it's because i've been gone away and they're gonna realize oh okay i see she kind of had a thing with a guy four doors down i get it and you're going to eat that and it's going to be fine and you're going to move on to have a wonderful life so here's the deal stay with her she's going to cheat chill on that eat it have kids after that yeah i mean I actually kind of fucking agree with that there we go dude

I mean there we go don't break up with her don't break up with her why would you break up with her in fact the fact that you're even asking makes you think you want to break up with her so now I'm thinking maybe not maybe break up with her break up with her maybe he just wanted to be on the show and didn't really have a question because I don't think she'd break up with her

eat it dude if things are really on the up like you say do not break out with her yeah they are on the up dude look at the guy he's fine he's cool he seemed happy and you know you don't know it's i i don't if if they weren't on the up he would have told us they're not on the up what should i do but he said we're not on the i'm on the up what the fuck should i do should i break it off i don't want to be unfair. Dude, she doesn't even want that. She wants you to say, I'll love you enough to wait this shit out. And yeah, I might stroke a few guys off in the fucking Navy. But whatever. When I come back, I still want to be with you.

And yeah, you might fucking doink a guy four doors down. But guess what? It's going to be fine. We're going to wait out that shit. We're both going to stroke a few guys. And when I come back, we're going to have some kids. Okay. Way to go. Way to go, dude. It's like, am I going to stroke a few guys and when i come back we're going to have some kids okay way to go way to go dude it's like am i getting paid for this or well let's see no i don't even mean but they put like it's like

yeah well yeah technically you are getting paid yeah i mean yeah a little bit but yeah hey chris and matt what's up I'm calling in basically from next door. It's downtown LA. It's an ulterior motive. Anyways, I have some advice to ask from y'all. Basically, I'm addicted to sugar. And how the fuck do I get rid of that? Like, I feel like I live a pretty healthy lifestyle.

Other than that, like, I sleep well. I drink hella water. I'm actually a personal trainer on the side. So the workout stuff is completely fine. It's just a sugar thing that I feel like I can't get over like I quit drinking just overnight I quit smoking cigarettes just overnight but the sugar thing I feel like I just can't get rid of also I don't want to completely get rid of it I still want to be able to enjoy sugar every now and then I just don't want to have it rule my life which I feel like it kind of does sometimes

so any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for everything you do. Whoa, she's got tattoos on the inside of her hand. Did you see that? No. That's crazy. 30% of your thoughts are about tattoos. Ah, I'm just saying, man. What do you think a tattoo I should get? The next one. Dude,

that's crazy to be that disciplined with... That is, and I think it's because she doesn't want to totally quit because she can quit things she wants to totally quit it's easy you just and it's gone but she doesn't want to totally quit sugar so she's trying to find that balance and that's what's hard yeah or she's an addict and that's the reason why she works out so much anyway and she works out because that's her addict behavior and then also she's compartmentalizing on why she doesn't want to stop

eating sugar because she knows she needs it. You know what I'm saying? What does she need? Well, she's saying like I don't really want to stop, meaning she thinks she can handle it, but maybe she can't handle it. Yeah. That's crazy to be addicted to sugar. I mean, I guess a lot of people are. I probably am a little bit. I have

streaks where like I'll eat like fucking two p. I probably am a little bit. I have streaks where I'll eat fucking two pints of ice cream a day. What? A day? For like a week, yeah. Two pints a day? No, like a night, like in a condensed period, all at once. Like some Marlon Brando shit. You'll eat two pints at one sitting?

Yeah. Holy shit. I've eaten one. I'm a hard addict, though. i get on the thing and i just fucking ruin it yeah oh wow yeah uh she's thinking about herself so uh all right well so what about um shit well if you don't want to stop then what the fuck is she saying she doesn't does it too much okay that's the trick though you can't do that that's the answer is you can't do that you want to stop you have to stop entirely you can't be like i want to you she has the answer in her own fucking question she was able to stop drinking able to stop smoking cigarettes but not able to

stop sugar why because she wants to still keep sugar in her life a little bit enjoy it once in a while but that's not how you can fucking think of it. You can't think of it that way. You're saying she needs to stop or just not even bother. She needs to completely stop eating sugar, or rather dedicate her mind to completely stopping. Otherwise, it's not going to make a dent.

I understand that, but what about how sugar's almost in everything? You're saying don't even eat fruit? No, she means fucking sweets. Oh, well, no. no some people don't eat sugar like literally won't eat fruit if she's a personal trainer i don't think that's what she meant yeah well i mean like that's what you can do like you know learn to fucking love blueberries or some shit learn to love strawberries but if you're eating smarties and you're wondering why your shit turns purple if you're doing it too much you know well that's not really her her inquiry i mean i'm just saying that happened to me though i know you ate so many smarties that

your shit turned purple i used to call them smollies i know because you can talk and i shit and purple came out and i called mom worst three steps of all time not not on the phone i shit purple came out i called mom yeah i was like six and i i was such a little fucking shitty brat and i wouldn't eat anything except smarties that i called smileys and finally eventually i took a shit and i couldn't believe the color of it and i called mom from down the hall do you remember the color of it yeah it was purple it was like uh the straw oh dude yeah it's like a coffee bean straw yeah uh all right when i was older yeah I ate too many electric blue gushers. Electric blue, you know?

Anything that is something you eat that has the word electric in it, it's actually disgusting. And I ate like three packs or something in one day. And what was your shit? Electric blue, dude. Why is your shit all different colors? I got rainbow shit. I've had one color shit, brown.

You're fucking missing out. You're a loser. You're a loser because you're not eating electric gushers. You're a loser because you only shit one color. You're a fucking loser. Nah, all right. So I shit brown and also like tan a little bit. But like, yeah, I don't know. I think you got to stop.

You got to stop cold turkey. You can do it. But right now, here's the thing. You're young. Live it up. I always say live it up. Eat the sugar, dude. Spend your dad's money while you still can. You know what I'm talking thing you're young live it up i always say live it up eat the sugar dude spend your dad's money while you still can you know i'm talking about like fucking live it up dude pretty soon you got your own bills you're not gonna be able to fucking eat sugar

because you're gonna be diabetic they're gonna throw you cut your feet off right yeah so eat it until like my buddy dean delray he ate sugar all the time until the doctor was like guess what got news for you your feet are coming off in two weeks if you don't stop. And he just stopped. Yeah. Because if it's a life or death situation or if your feet are going to come off, the shit's got to stop. So wait for that moment. Live it up, baby. Live it up.

Eat Smalley's all day long. Make your shit purple. Is your shit purple? You're not eating enough sugar. Dean's diabetic? Yeah. He was. Oh, pre, yeah.

Yeah. So, yeah. So, you know, shit, man. Don't do it yet you're young what is she 20 fucking eight you know she looked young i don't know how much sugar you're eating yeah that's the thing it's like some people are like i'm addicted to sugar and they just eat like a fucking snickers every other day it's like you're fine yeah i mean she looks fantastic you know it's not like she's fucking obese but she's she's worried about her health yeah it's not about being no no i know but i'm just saying you think of

someone addicted to sugar that you think of them it'd be like job of the hut nah i mean look at me man well you're not addicted to sugar thin as fuck i'm eating two hot pints of ice cream you're not though when's the time you ate two pints of ice cream three days ago and then went before that years oh this fucking guy so so you're not addicted to it no i'm not addicted to it now but i fucking no i'm definitely not addicted to sugar no i'm not addicted to sugar oh the truth comes out dude i just cross-examined you and killed it yeah Yeah, I'm not addicted to sugar. Wow. Might as well face it, you're addicted to sugar. Wow. Might as well face it, you're addicted to sugar.

What the fuck is that? That's a robot coming in and replacing it. Oh, wow. That's 100% obvious, dude. It wasn't obvious to me. Might as well face it, you're addicted to... Sugar. What is the sound?

It's the recording starting. Might as well face it, you're addicted to... Sugar. That's so stupid, dude. Oh, shit, dude. it you're addicted to sugar oh shit dude i can't believe i got a nose job i'm just like a real pretty dude i hear i hear it in your voice and it's bothering me well dude i mean what do you want me to do it's knocking me off of all of my normal thoughts because all i'm thinking about is how fucking fucked you sound okay okay absolutely fucking obsessed with me and my sinuses all right let's go to the next one my babies

what's up papa chris uncle matt it's your girl katie collin and from nashville nice let's go ahead and jump into it shall we wow? Wow. So I'm going to be 25 at the end of July. Super, super excited to begin my quarter life crisis. And I've been dating this guy for the past two months who happens to be my first like real committed relationship. You know, I dated around here and there in college and stuff. I just kind of did my own thing. And he's like the first one to really like stick around which is nice um so no complaints there but here's the thing that's been weighing on my mind um so we met on the super romantic medium that is tender and i and he knows this

but i never would have like gone for him have we not met that way because he's 5'5 i'm 5'10 um and i know that some guys can feel like a little bit threatened like masculinity wise around taller women which like breaks my heart because i myself have so much love to give i just need a chance um and and short kings need love too so anyway um you know we've gotten side eyes about this and i just do the whole spin move and like that's that's my thing but like it still weighs on my mind sometimes so i just wonder like like what do you guys think about that like why do you think it's a stigma um have you dated taller women in the past what was your experience i'm just kind of curious we're milking the shit out of it though i just so you guys know like for halloween he's going to be a koala bear i'm going to be a eucalyptus tree oh it's gonna

be great so i love it um love you guys uh thank you guys so much for this podcast chris i will see you in savannah hell yeah and uh matt love you so much you're incredible and you make this podcast whole hope you know that all right bye over and out i will be in savannah chris leah.com but here's the thing dude you're trying to talk to i mean are you trying to talk yourself out of it if he doesn't have a problem with it then there's no problem she she if you listened which you clearly have a problem doing this episode she just wants to know it sticks in her mind a little bit this stigma and she's wondering about what we might think about it she's not no problems anywhere she's just like one it's in her mind she wants

to know sort of what we think about the general height disparity height stigma between short men and tall women but she did say my heart goes out to him like what if like you know like i know that maybe there is like some she did say that kind like some. She did say that kind of shit. What? She did say that kind of shit. So wasn't listening. You know what I mean? Listen to 80% of it.

No, no, no. I did, dude. I don't, you know, let him be a fucking koala, dude. Have I ever dated a taller girl? Hell yeah. Did I date a girl seven foot one once? No, you didn't. There's no such thing. Well, that is true.

And I know that because there's no such thing. I did date a girl that was six foot once. And with heels, she was, you know. Six taller than you? She was tall as me. I know and i'm fucking i really i'm a tall drink of water but uh yeah i don't think i've ever dated a woman actually taller than me but uh i definitely do know men male friends who have dated women taller than them. Some guys have to. All that matters is if the guy gives a fuck. That's the only thing that matters.

Because if the guy doesn't give a fuck, then obviously nothing matters because he doesn't care and then the trickle down, nobody cares. But if the guy fucking cares, the guy cares, then it's a fucking problem because he acts fucking weird and then it fucks everything up. Trickle up up i'm cool with it no it's all good no whatever i mean it's fine you know she's taller than me so what i mean

most most people are talking what's that matter oh dude do you mind if i have that lollipop the fucking koala eucalyptus thing is good though you guys sound like you're doing fucking great keep it up sounds like you didn't give a fuck five five is oh boy though yeah that's fucking sure maybe maybe like i don't know he's not done growing yeah how old is he he's nine years old oh fuck dude you're not not done growing right what's on the center of that dude fucking hell yeah, dude. That's awesome. That's cool, man. 5'10", 5'5". That's crazy, bro.

You know what? Have him get heels. Have him get heels. Nah, because they don't care. If he doesn't care, he would really wear heels and just rock that shit. No. I don't give a fuck. Whatever.

Clomp, clomp, clomp. Cheer, please. For dinner. What was that? What was that? Cheer, please. For dinner with the heels on. Me and my chick

still shorter than her by three inches uh your five inches is quite a bit yeah yeah man uh that's sick though what if he's got like a fetish you know yeah yeah yeah true true if you like so good for everybody takes all kinds man he's fucking killing he's a koala well if he likes yeah well wow 510 that's that's that's when a chick enters into you're tall 5 9 yes but 5 10 okay you're very tall for a chick she's actually a tall chick and see here's the thing it's not that she's taller than him it's that she's a tall chick and he's a short dude yeah right that's a big discrepancy yeah like nobody would be like oh that's a dude chick and he's a short dude. Yeah, right. So it's a big discrepancy. Yeah. Like nobody would be like, oh, that's a dude. And also, oh, yeah. Like you describe it.

You'd be like, yo, you know Frank. Who? The short guy. Right. Okay. Yeah. Oh, the guy with the fucking tall chick. Yeah.

The guy who's always eating a lollipop. You know, I think in a weird way it makes it easier though. He's like a short guy. She's a tall girl. And it's like that can become their thing. They can lean the fuck into it when a guy's like five seven and a girl's five nine right she's not like a tall woman he's not like a particularly short guy ah then it's like a little bit weird right you know what i'm saying

oh i see what you're saying yeah they're in their fucking roles they got it locked down they're good bro fuck it man the guy grew the guy's how he is you love him that's awesome it's obviously real love that's amazing dude that that just goes to show you uh the tricks on tinder it's the only story i ever heard that made me actually think tinder's good for yeah because no way did he say he was five five on tinder right you gotta lead with that when you're a dude you gotta be like i'm this how tall i am ladies maybe not though he yeah i guess so he tricked her into it he tricked her into it her whole relationship based on lies no like the santa claus thing yeah exactly he probably probably still believes in santa claus because i'm seething about that guy's fucking wow we should have said that for last that guy's wife's mom fucking pisses

me off all right well i mean you know she needs a fucking therapist or two wow all right let's do another one all right cool yo what up chris and matt my name's delia it's just like your last name but without the apostrophe did you guys ever think if your last name was your first name i swear the mailman would 100 think you're a black chick i'm not here to joke although i got jokes for days i do do need advice. So my husband and I are having our 12th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks. And I have plans to get like super dressed up and go out to dinner and then drink 40s under a bridge. But I'm not sure if that's sufficient for an anniversary. And this year was especially tough.

We have a one-year-old, which the way chris when you talk about calvin it's like i'm staring into my future and the future's so bright i'm wearing sunglasses so i think maybe i should do something more romantic but it still has to be funny so any advice would be much appreciated uh by the way chris we're going to see you in albany in november hell yeah very much looking forward to it. All right. Love the show, guys. Thanks so much.

Oh, what a sweetie. Albany. I'll be there. ChrisLeah.com. You know what, dude? Well, you're putting all this pressure on yourself. Why do you need to do something special? Because the year was hard?

Got a one-year-old? Well, some people value their anniversary and look forward to it. I know, but I'm saying don't put pressure on yourself. Have a nice night out. You want to go drink 40s under a bridge, go drink 40s under a bridge. That actually sounds good. I mean, I haven't had a fucking 40 in 20 years. But you are under a bridge a lot.

Yeah, I am. I don't know. What do you think? Go have a nice dinner. Do the fucking 40s thing. Drink 40s, fucking A. Have fun. Yeah.

So you're saying go to a nice dinner, pack the car with 40s in the back? Just get 40s. So don't even do 40s thing. Drink 40s, fucking A. Have fun. Yeah. So you're saying go to a nice dinner, pack the car with 40s in the back? Just get 40s. So don't even do the dinner thing. Don't go to dinner, yeah. Skip the dinner. So be like, honey, I want to take you somewhere. And then go, where are we going?

Where are we going? Blindfold them. Let them out under a bridge. Yep. Have the 40s on ice already. Oh, right there already. Frank can help you. But also, why is it on her?

Maybe, yeah, no, I don't know. Why doesn't your fucking husband do anything? Fuck him. Okay, well, you're quick to the fuck the other person thing on this show. On this episode, you're quick to the fuck the other person. Usually, the man at least has a hand in planning the anniversary. Yeah. So where the fuck is he?

I don't know. He doesn't want to do the shit. Call in. Maybe he's fucking got something planned. Who knows? That's what I'm trying to say, though. I was saying, don't suppose. You don't know he doesn't want to do the call in maybe he's fucking got something playing who knows that's what i'm trying to say though i say don't suppose you don't know maybe just don't plan anything assume he's gonna do everything and have fun with whatever he does yeah he will right yeah dudes pretty much don't give a fuck so like you as long as you're happy he'll be happy because the last thing he doesn't want the last thing we want as dudes is you to like not be happy because then the whole

thing's fucked up yeah here's the thing i hate to break it to you if this is gonna be bad for you to hear but he doesn't care yeah he doesn't care at all what you do for your anniversary right right right you do right so do whatever you want right he doesn't go fuck right if you really wanted to do what he wanted to do for the anniversary you'd stay home you'd forget and fucking be like the next morning was yesterday or anniversary oh shit hey well yeah a hundred percent uh so yeah so i don't know i just feel like do don't put pressure on yourself is the key you want to go out and do a nice dinner go out and do a nice dinner if you want to go drink 40s under a bridge go drink 40s under a bridge do that shit but don't think twice about it sometimes i feel like i don't have a partner thank you thank you

we are all full my only friend we've got enough contestants thank you very much you are not coming to hollywood you know what that is though do you know what that is that's sammy cowell saying you're My only friend. We've got enough contestants. Thank you very much. You are not coming to Hollywood. You know what that is, though? Do you know what that is? That's Simon Cowell saying you're not good. Do you know what I was doing, though? Yeah. I mean, I think you were trying to do the song by fucking Red Hot Chili Peppers.

It's a good song. The song is good, yeah. And I do it good. You don't do it good. I do it good. It's called Under the Bridge. That's why I did it. Sounds scary. it don't don't don't don't don't don't

don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't

don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't

don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't

don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't

don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't

don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't

don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't

don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't

don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't

don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't, don't, don't, don't, don Yeah. That's what I meant, the consonants. Oh, okay. Well, that's pretty stupid to get those mixed up. That's how you do it if you have nasal reconstructive surgery. Did you just get a fucking septum fixed? Dude, that's so cool that I got my septum fixed. It will be when you can breathe.

Man, it really hurts. But I'm here because we're raw my babies we are raw do you get pain meds or what yeah i took coding a little bit of coding today uh i took early on in the morning but i don't take it too much you know because i don't want to take i don't want to take it too much you should take it a lot but i operate heavy machinery so i don't want to be operating my forklift when i when i'm on a code uh so yeah all right okay next one when i'm on a code uh so yeah all right okay next one hi matt hi chris i'm a huge fan of you guys chris i'm seeing you in oakland uh when you're here look at that dude um this is my situation i go to a bar almost every weekend it's my favorite bar but recently there's this group

there that has been making me feel very judged, very looked at. I feel very self-conscious when I'm there now. So I need to know how to block them out, how to get back to being at my favorite bar and being happy. They're friends with the bartender, so I can't really tell them to F off. I've asked their friends kind of like, is there an issue with me? And no one has anything to say. So I just need to know how to block them out. What do I do?

Fuck the haters. Let me know what you guys have to say. What, what, what could they be doing? Yeah, I know. This is incredible. What could they be doing? See, this is why when we're going to do our live show, we're going have you guys call in uh and we can ask questions yes you can ask we can ask questions to you but there's like a it depends on like what level of confrontation you want to do

it yeah because there's a version where you can just be like i don't give a fuck about any of these people this is my bar i'm gonna go and i'm not even gonna look at them there's that right by the time you go do it enough you'll forget about it you won't even fucking see him there's anywhere from that to next time you go you make a beeline for him and sit like between them and yeah and and confront it in in a really direct way yeah and say what do you do say oh sorry i thought this was a free country right yeah are we in iran where wait where are we yeah oh i'm sorry is this is this north korea yeah oh my my b i thought this was america and in america it's for conch yeah right if you said it like that you might not know what the fuck you're talking about uh my b is a free conch yeah i think i and then

you just say so what is it yeah you know so what is it? Well, she might know what it is even. She might be in cagey with us, right? But something is going on. And this is her bar. And all of a sudden, this group started coming in. That she thinks is judging her, maybe eyeing her, making fun of her, something. Yeah. I mean, you could go up and be like, yo, what's the problem?

What is it? Yeah. Because that's what I would do. Sit between them and say, what is it? Okay like yo what's the problem what is it yeah because that's what i would do sit between them and say what is it okay well but here's what is it that's very confrontational yeah but also you could do it in a non-confrontational way and just be like hey what's going on do i make you guys uncomfortable you know that's pretty confrontational but but like why are why i feel like there's this thing here going on what is it right because we don't live in fucking north korea this america's for country and i can be here but you make me feel uncomfortable right yeah so like you could do that ask them and then who knows maybe they become your lifelong friends right maybe yeah i mean that

could be how the story ends but i wonder what the fuck you know what i mean i don't know what's wrong, but you could, you know, dude, this is the move. Send them around. Right? Send them around to shit. Say, see how they react, right? That could be sending out the olive branch, right? Hey, what's going on? I just want you to know I got your shit.

I got you around. Here's a round of, you know know absinthe or whatever the fuck you want to give them yeah and then when they drink that shit they're gonna be having a good time they're gonna think that you're you're the shit and then maybe it will squash everything but why if not then you know the problem is on that because you you let out an olive branch right but what's the fucking problem well we don't know she's not telling us but she didn't do anything well you don't know that so fuck them all here's the thing is up i killed their family right it's up she's not letting us know something

i think she goes in next time she goes there she goes and sits between them and says real loud so what is it no that's they're just gonna be like what is it huh yeah okay let's do that let's act that out okay ready here ready? Here we go. I walk in. Hey, Phil. Okay, I just sat down. You don't have to just sit down. So what is it?

So what is it? What is what? Are you talking to us? What's? What's the problem? What's the problem you got? You're too loud is the problem now at this point no but you'll break him down

it's not fucking you know what I mean war I think it is though I think it's what she's leaving shit out I think she's leaving shit out and I think whatever it is if she's if it's fucked up enough for her to call in something's up something's going on and if she wants to stake a claim and say it's her bar

she needs to fucking swing her dick around so to speak yeah not dick because she has a vagina right no i don't know but i think that what you should do is definitely just send her out and see how it goes from there you could try that first yeah do that first if it's nice you'll you'll see you know the bartender be like yeah and then they'll be like okay and then they come oh thank you oh hey you know but this is the thing if you fuck their friends or their boyfriends that's not a thing to do right yeah because we don't really know what's going on so send around a drinks unless you know secretly that you did something you're not telling us in which case then you just got to put your fucking hater shades on right and block them out

yeah i think that's probably gonna end up being the best thing anyway okay sure send them around see what happens yep yeah cool all right great perfect next one last one hey matt and chris this is lindsey i'mani. We're sisters. We are sisters. I'm at the hospital. I'm in labor. I'm going to deliver my second child soon. I wish the machine wasn't beeping in the background. That's like freaking driving me nuts, but it's okay. We move on. wanted to ask for some advice about creating our own podcast we have been a fan of chris's for a long time and since listening to lifeline and listening to you guys have a good time and goof off and stuff it's inspired us to start our own podcast however we have no flipping idea what our content should be so if you guys have any ideas or suggestions, let us know. Or advices on how to get us started, let us know. Thanks so much.

Life rips. Cute. Look, you're not going to know. You're not going to know. Just start. Dude, I started my podcast. I didn't know what it was going to be about. I still don't know. Yeah. But you get a following if it's good. If you guys are good, if there's something about you that you like, that people like, then they'll tune in. Also, you got to have a podcast.'re a person and everyone in the world has

a podcast now yeah okay even people that don't even shouldn't even people that shouldn't have podcasts honestly so whether you should or you shouldn't you should have one because everyone has a podcast because they're people and you're a person right yeah you're people they're both people you know you could be like the it could be fucking uh whatever it is you know sisters right sister sister podcast i think that might exist but you could do it sisters in labor always yeah yeah sisters in labor uh yeah i don't know man i mean like you got to have a podcast you're a person so let's try it right i think if they're looking for there to be a topic though i think the answer is what are things that you both bond over as sisters because

if you don't want to just be like fucking congratulations where you just talk about bullshit no and bullshit the entire fucking time no no matter what the topic is hard-hitting issues no we talk about the hard-hitting issues if you want it to be a topic it has to be something that you already bond over you can't like reach out and be like oh i want it to be about fucking everything is niche anyway right now nowadays right that is the shit like if you love episode five of the mandalorian then make it just about episode five of the mandalorian those people will find you dude those people will find you you know they got fucking office ladies or whatever it's like one of the most popular fucking it's about a they do a podcast on a tv show yeah what the fuck is i don't know they got another one the fucking doctors one with

the the fucking guy from uh scrubs the two guys from scrubs oh they do just they they just talk about scrubs this shit was 900 years ago what the and they just talk about a show that was on fucking it was like if b ar Arthur had a show about Golden Girls. I mean, that would be better than the one... Yeah, well, especially because she's dead. It would be impossible for her to do. But yeah, dude. I mean, like, find the specific thing that you guys love. That's great advice.

Get that niche because everything's a niche anyway, unless it's a Marvel movie. And let's face it, you're not a Marvel movie, right? No podcast is. So just find what you love with your sister and what you bond over and fucking go from there that's definitely it and your first few episodes they're gonna be clunky as shit it's gonna be bad right and you're gonna learn how to do it and you're gonna find your way just like your audience is maybe you record episodes and if they suck don't even

fucking post them i've done that my first one I never posted. Really? Yeah. And congratulations. It's the hidden episode that no one will ever hear. Does it exist anymore? Is it deleted? I have it. It exists? Yeah, we have it.

Maybe I should put it on my Patreon. Who knows? Sell it to one person. Like it's a fucking NFT? For like a million dollars. Like the Wu-Tang album? Yeah. It was just one of them? Yep.

And the guy who fucking made that AIDS cure bought it? It wasn't AIDS. It was Martin one of them? Yep. And the guy who fucking made that AIDS cure bought it? It wasn't AIDS. Martin Shkreli? Yeah. He made the HIV thing, right? No, no, no. It wasn't HIV. What was it?

What was that? It was diabetes? What was it? No. It was AIDS. It wasn't fucking AIDS. Dude, I think it's AIDS. Well, there's no fucking AIDS cure, so no.

Well, whatever it was, it was close to AIDS. No, that's not something. Close to AIDS. Martin Shkre's not something. Close to AIDS. Martin Shirely. On the AIDS spectrum. Martha Farnsarely. Martin Shirely. Isn't that guy in jail now?

He's out. He got out? What did he get, like nine weeks? The medicine was called Daraprim. Daraprim. What was it for? And it was for deviated septum.

Parasitic infections. What a prick that guy was, dude. Yeah, but look at him, bro. It cost $13 and he raised the price to $750 a tablet. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Like, you know? Of course you go to jail for that.

Yeah, but also look at him. That's a guy that looks so much like he would be in jail and so much like a shyster. Look at his face. Like a white-collar guy. Just look at his face. You go like this. Your Honor, I would like to call to stand this guy. And then he goes up. shyster look look at his face like like white just look at his face you go like this uh your honor i

i would like to call to stand this guy and then he goes up arthur fonzarelli goes up and he's like look this is him and this is his face book him and the judge goes i agree cong congs 900 years or whatever look at his face dude arthur fonzarelli you know whatever the fuck his name is Martin Shkreli Shkreli? Martin Shkrodim Okay Wow So fucking immature dude That's it

For this episode right? That's it man So How's your nose? Oh it hurts Oh it feels like Fucking 100 bees are in it It's looking

It looks shiny It's shiny yeah And it looks bigger Because I can't wipe it I can't wash it. The only person to ever get a nose job to make the nose bigger. Yeah, I said I want that Liam Neeson shit. So whatever, this is the nose job

episode and I appreciate you guys listening. Watchlifeline.com. That's where you can go. Watchlifeline.com if you have a question. Subscribe to the channel and subscribe to Super Cult. This is the Super Cult studios and we do uh other shows here too that have yet to come out uh so be the first to know by subscribing and also go to

chrislea.com for tour and chrislea.com for the oops button uh you guys thank you very much and i just want to add one little thing to this no so many of you yeah dm me and ask me hey how do i submit a video for the for the show do it i'm gonna fucking tell you now and again and again and again go to the fucking link in the description below or motherfuckers just go to watch lifeline.com they just want to they just want to talk to you dude honestly it's bullshit well then ask me something else that I'll actually respond to

no I know but here's the thing though don't respond to them I don't because people out there are crazy and I will tell you

this much dude I have to get ready for the rest of the day you can just go to watchlifeline.com and do the shit and fucking send us a video

it's all gonna be good it's all fine okay a character from true romance dude uh i love you guys bye Hello? Hello? Will you please Say I don't like the light Hello? Hello? Hello?