Lifeline - 141. Come In For a Hug

Episode Date: December 22, 2024

LIFELINE ✨LUXURY✨ is available at patreon.com/lifelineluxury. Extra episodes every month, no advice, all for $5. Our Patreon is also the exclusive home to all the live podcasts which we film and upload! 🤳 Want to submit to Lifeline? Go here: forms.gle/EYbqjvyy1A9r728Y9 🎧 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: apple.co/3NG2G2G 🔊 Subscribe on Spotify: spoti.fi/3NPUwoT 🔗 All our links: linktr.ee/watchlifeline TODAY we have a follow up about "wife material," some cousin -in-law drama, people messing with the climate in your car, and taking a gig which poses a conflict of interest.  💚 Lifeline is the first podcast about you, hosted by Matt D'Elia & Chris D'Elia. More Matt D'Elia: Sign up FOR FREE For Matt's Patreon for all episodes of The Private Record and upcoming drops of Matt D'Elia is Confused Book 20 or 40 min one-on-one sessions with Matt at mattdelia.com. More Chris D'Elia: Congratulations podcast: congratulationspod.com Live on tour: chrisdelia.com/tour More LIFELINE: Instagram: instagram.com/watchlifeline Tiktok: tiktok.com/@watchlifeline Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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dine in only until 11 a.m. I am so dreading groceries this week. Why? You can skip it. Oh, what, just like that? Just like that. How about dinner with my third cousin? Skip it. Prince Fluffy's favorite treats that? Just like that. How about dinner with my third cousin? Skip it. Prince Fluffy's favorite treats?

Skippable. Midnight snacks? Skip. My neighbor's nightly saxophone practices. Er, nope, you're on your own there. Coulda skipped it? Shoulda skipped it. Skip to the good part and get groceries,

meals, and more delivered right to your door on Skip. groceries, meals, and more delivered he knows. I did know. I just asked him. He said, wow. No, first of all, don't swear in the first five minutes. You do it all the time. I didn't. You always tell me not to do it when I do it. I do not do it in the first five minutes. I always check five minutes. I look, and I see, and then I start really letting it go. If Anthony was here instead of being a bad, bad, bad employee,

I would ask him. And he would say, yeah, sometimes. Very, very rarely I do it. Yeah, I It's just very, very rarely I do it. Yeah, I know. Okay, so very rarely I do it. We shouldn't have started, I still have my nose things in. But you know what, I'm real and it keeps it real. So I'm gonna say, on air, check this out.

This is gonna go viral because everybody's gonna see me taking those things out. You're a viral. The world is gonna stop like Kim Kardashian's ass and I'm a magazine. East Morgan. I can say ass. You can say ass, right?

You talking about a donkey or you talking about an? I think you can say ass, I can say ass, right? You talking about a donkey, or you talking about an? I think you could say ass. I don't know. Yeah, he's talking about a donkey. Doesn't even know, dude. Look, here's the deal. The rules are opaque. Yeah, that is true.

They are, which sucks. And they're ever changing. But I will say this. I mean, they just make them up as they go. Speaking of viral. I know, yeah, speaking of viral. Yeah, it's like a sci-fi movie, you know? That's what it's like. It's like a sci-fi movie, you know? That's what it's like.

It's like a sci-fi movie, The Rules. Of YouTube or in general? Going to get shadow bent for this? No, YouTube. Because in a sci-fi movie, you're like, oh, no. They're doomed. And then they're like, ah, well, there's this thing, the orb that we have to find, though.

And that'll fix it all. It'll move us back in time. And you're like, oh, that's a to find though, and that'll fix it all. It'll move us back in time. And you're like, oh, that's a new, okay, that's new. I guess they just made that up. Oh, you're making it up. Yeah, well, they can do whatever they want, and that's what they do. So congratulations to YouTube, you're a sci-fi movie.

They have all the power, and everyone on the platform has none. Speaking of viral. Yeah, speaking of viral. I had a viral infection in my nose for two years. I don't know. I fixed it. I hate to say this because I say it all the time,

but you've mentioned that already on this show. Yeah. Oh, okay. How are you feeling now? Great. That's the thing is the update is I feel great. Oh, good. And it was two years and now I feel great, dude.

It's gone. And I'm just like, I'm sleeping with my nose like, What's that? Just breathing. What does that mean? You were stuffed up? Yeah. Yeah.

It was crusted. He said, you look like you've done so much coke. You know what? I actually had a doctor say that to me before. I don't know who said doctor. There was actually a different doctor say that to me. Yeah, yeah. He sat me down with like pamphlets. Wow, really? Yeah. I was like, I've, you feel like a liar. Yeah. When a doctor sits you down and talks to you about something that is actually untrue, which I'm

sure is pretty rare because they're probably right because they just looked at your whole body. Which I'm sure is pretty rare because they're probably yeah, right because it just looked at your whole body. Uh-huh. I was like, uh, I Don't I don't know how to like I just haven't I've never done cocaine I don't know what to tell you and I was like, I don't I don't mean I rarely do it Yeah, I mean that is like the one draw. Oh, I didn't know that I've never done. I don't know. Yeah, I've never done cocaine. I've Yeah, that's crazy. Okay. Well, right that I mean doesn't believe me. He was like, mm-hmm. Yeah, I've never done cocaine. I've never, yeah, that's crazy. Okay, well, all right. That, I mean- Doesn't believe me. He was like, mm-hmm, yeah, okay.

Anyway, here's some pamphlets you can take them home on your own time. Basically. Just in case. It sucked, because I was trying to convince him and I was like, fuck this. Like, I don't wanna, sorry. Yeah, you sure. Sorry.

Anthony will bleep it out. Yeah, well, if he's here. Yeah, he's a bad guy. But I'll be, I have Brea. I have Brea, California. I'm coming up to Embraer, California. I have some dates in Fresno, well, if he's here. Yeah, he's bad. But I'll be, I have Brea. I have Brea, California. I'm coming up to Embraer, California. I have some dates in Fresno, California, San Luis Obispo, Covina, California, Santa Rosa, Stockton, California.

Look at all these California dates. People always come at me like, California, why are you never in California? First of all, I'm always in California. I pop in and out of the Laugh Factory and stuff. And anyway, I'm there. Cranston, Rhode Island, Boston, Massachusetts, Savannah, Georgia, Atlanta, Georgia.

I got a bunch of different dates. Go to chrislea.com. Thank you very much. It's December 22nd. I want to say Merry Christmas and happy birthday to Ray Fiennes and DaBaby, which they're obviously celebrating together. Peas in a pod, those two.

Yeah. And of course- Ray Fiennes is in Baltimore. Wow, I love Ray Fiennes. Ray Fiennes is in Baltimore. Ray Fienines is one of my favorite actors that is alive the baby is one of my favorite actors haha Ray Fines da baby the baby and da da Ray Fines yeah they both pronounce it kind of weird right it should be Ralph Fiennes and the baby the baby. Yeah, how sick is Rafe? Happy birthday, Ralph, Fiannis, and the baby.

Stop what you're doing right now if you're not signed up for our Patreon Lifeline luxury. It's where we don't take submissions. Oops. Get it for someone for Christmas. It's where we don't take submissions, but we just, it's like this for the whole entire episode. Oh, oops, dude. How many times are you going to just cut me off? I'm just trying to give a promo for the whole entire episode. That's what I'm saying. Oh, oops, dude.

The important. How many times are you going to just cut me off? I'm just trying to give a promo for what we're doing. Let me finish talking, then you can do your part. The important part is what I'm saying, though. But I'm not even done yet. OK. Go to Patreon.

Oh, my god, dude. I'm peppering it in. Go to Patreon.com slash Lifeline Luxury. It's where it's at. We do three episodes a month. And guess what comes up this month. Sign up now, get access to our second ever Lifeline Live. It was on and popping.

Booyah, booyah, and guess what? Booyah, get over there. And it's December 22nd. There's some people in your life you haven't gotten something for Christmas yet. Guess what? Get them a subscribe membership. How do they do that? 22nd there's some people in your life you haven't gotten something for Christmas yet guess what get him a Subscribe a membership to that. How do they do that? Oh, it's not the patreon.com slash lifeline luxury slash gift

Okay patreon.com slash lifeline luxury slash gift you want some free stuff who likes free stuff patreon.com slash Matt Delia sign up now become a member for free while you can Now you can talk you you don't okay, you don't do it good. Explain. What are you talking about? You talk for too long and in within that length there's not enough hitting them over the head. That is rich coming from you. And I do it. That is rich coming from you. I'm always hitting people over the head. Talk too much.

I talk too much. Anything after that coming from you. But I'm constantly hitting people over the head. Is negativo, negativo good buddy, Nenverino. I do talk. Nenver, Colorado. I talk, I do talk too much, but I am constantly smashing people over the head. You do not smash people over the head. I guess but I am constantly smashing people over the head.

You do not smash people over the head. I guess I just don't smash people over the head yet. I don't know, I don't know what to tell you. And it's okay, but this is the fast paced life of podcasting. What dude? I'm smashing people over the head. You're not saying things that make sense,

just so you know, and it's all good. I'm just saying, that's fine. And it's fine,. I'm just saying, that's fine. And it's fine, but let's just like, we're gonna relax and we got Lifeline here and we gotta just relax into it because it's just, it's getting, it's a little bit, it's good, it's good. It's gonna be good, but it's, you know.

Hasn't said anything yet. And don't forget about our merch, lifelinemerch.com. You know what, dude? When you do, when, not you, but when someone does like the radio stuff And don't forget about our merch, lifelinemerch.com. You know what, dude? When you do, when, not you, but when someone does like the radio stuff where they're like, like take what you just said. Lifelinemerch.com. We're gonna get into the, I hate when they do that.

They're running together. Yeah, dude. I like when they do that. Do you? Yeah. Why? Do you, do you want my love? Come on now. Hey.

What do you think about what I said? Well, what seems like is that you've done coke, honestly. Today. Have I told the story? When I was filled in for you on the golden hour, I told that story about the guy coming out to me at the Clipper game. What?

You said, that's the story I was gonna tell. You said, yeah, I've told it. Is that what you're talking about? I thought you meant about the Coke and the doctor. Oh, no. I thought that was the story you were talking about. Well, I literally just said that, so I'd be a goldfish if I didn't remember telling that story.

No, I'll make it short in case I've told it before. But I was at a Clipper game with Dad, and I went to the bathroom. And on my way, some sharp looking dude, but he looked kind of like a weasley shithead, like black leather jacket, beard, trimmed real nice. And he comes up to me and just stops me out of the blue and says, hey, do you have any coke? Oh yeah.

And I said the truth, which was, nah man, sorry I don't. And I started walking and he stepped further in front of me. So like, I couldn't continue walking forward. And he actually said, you don't. And I started walking, and he stepped further in front of me. So I couldn't continue walking forward. And he actually said, you don't? Wow. First of all, we're at a Clipper game. Second of all, do I look that much? Well, maybe.

That much like a cokehead? No, but it's not the cokehead that looks like he has coke. It might be the dealer. So maybe you look like a dealer. That's frankly even worse. I'd rather look like a cokehead than a coke dealer. Maybe not. No, it might be the dealer. So maybe you look like a dealer. That's frankly even worse. I'd rather look like a coke head than a coke dealer. Maybe not. No, no, no, no.

It sounds like somebody told him. It's the guy. Exactly, that's exactly what I was gonna say. You know what? I've actually never, ever considered that. Yeah, that's literally where my head went immediately. And you too? Wow.

And you didn't, huh? No, it's interesting. When you think about something, you start thinking about a certain way, and then you just, that's literally where my head went immediately. And you too? Wow. And you didn't, huh? No, it's interesting. When you think about something, you start thinking about a certain way, and then you just, that's how you think. Not me, I'm open-minded. No, you're not at all. I go like this.

Well, that's interesting, but let me also think about it in a lot of different ways. Imagine being that way in conversation. I do that because that's the smart, good thing to do. And like, for instance, the Jay-Z situation, when they go, hey, he was with a 13 year old, you go, people go like, oh my God, that's crazy. But I don't do that.

I step back and I go, that sounds weird. Is it true or not? I don't know, just like I didn't know before I heard about this. Right? Okay. So then more stuff comes out and it turns out that it really seems like that that didn't happen. What is the new thing? If you don't mind sharing. They interviewed the woman. Oh, really? And it's like a shadow on a wall and she's just talking and she's like, and the dad of the woman is like,

I don't remember any of that. On air? Yeah, and CNN, the worst network with the idiot interviewing her is like, I guess they're trying to make her look credible, but they do the opposite. How so? It just seems all false.

No, I know. I understand. I believe you. But I'm curious as to what it gives you, besides the dad saying I don't remember that. Because she seems not credible. And then also, what the dad said. If you put the interviewer, if you

put somebody in front of the camera that is not credible, that seems not credible, it's only going to be bad. So that's what it is. And even her shadow, you could tell by her shadow, she's lying. Her shadow is just like. That's a weird thing to notice. Yeah, but it's like, it's so silly, dude. And that reporter is such a joke.

Who was it? The same one who wrote a fucking thing about me. Okay, well, so we have pre-existing feelings about this reporter. No, so it means I know she lies. Oh, interesting. Now we're really getting interesting, aren so we have we have exist pre-existing feelings about this no so means I know she lies Oh interesting how we're really getting interesting aren't yeah, but anyway to go look at it on your own time. No What is it? What is the headline? I can't find it. I just roll up It's fine. I just look at it

It's inconsistencies and rape because the story proof her attorney was looking for quote money and fame. Well, okay. Yeah, it's yeah. Oh so, uh quote money and fame. Well, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Ho! So, Jay-Z's mustache, huh? Hey dude, shave it. So, no, shave it. Well, not even really, dude. It, I mean, it looks... Google Jay-Z mustache.

It looks like somebody, if you zoom in, it looks like somebody decorated for Halloween poorly. That's just horrible. That's just... Interesting. It's a bad mustache. Like, how can you be 50 something and that's the mustache

you bring to the table? He's got an interesting face, doesn't he? Yeah. Interesting face. Was that a Jay-Z laugh? Yeah. Nice. Why does he sound like Bill Clinton? Why does Jay-Z sound like Bill Clinton?

Hold on. Just let's see if it grows a little bit more. He's been saying that about, for years, dude. What's going on with him and Beyonce right now? Give me one second actually, just how, maybe if you see me next time, maybe the mustache will look more full.

Always insecure laughing at the end? Anyway, oh God, it's because it's sparse my hair And then you can't really you can see the skin so much under it Looks like Fucking how somebody looks like a chip cheered cheer Fucking, huh? Somebody looks like a cheer, cheer, cheer. Cheer, cheer, cheer. Come on, dude.

Cheer, cheer. That's a rough. Cheer pet. Yeah, he's gotta get rid of that, huh? Cheer pet. That's not what a billionaire should have on his face. Billionaire. Is he a billionaire? No.

I think so. You think so? That's wild. Kudos to him, huh? All right. Billionaire with bad hair. All right. Under my nose. So, um...

You think Beyonce's all mad at him because of what's going on? No, it just sucks. It all sucks. Okay. Nobody comes fucking forward 30 years after... Oh, is that the deal? 30 years? I don't know, whatever it is. It's just like, dude, bye.

I actually don't know anything about this at all. But yeah, well, neither do I. Except for- You know more than me. I know Jay-Z and I know his mustache. Yeah. All right, next one. First one.

First one that was there. Yeah, let's start, let's do it. Yeah. All right. Next one. First one. First one that would be. Yeah, let's start. Let's do it. Yeah. Hey, Matt. Hey, Chris. Love the show. I have a friend who, any time he's in my car,

he will mess with the climate. Climate. And it could be a summer night where it's decently warm. He'll put heat on, vice versa every single time. Has to do something on the climate. Climate? Secondly, he will put his elbow too far over in the center console.

Yeah, that's bullshit. So I'm like this. You can't do that. And I'm just wondering, should he start paying me? Because if you do that, it's your car now. Thanks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've had this about music.

I think I remember that similar submission. It's the same thing applies. Don't touch the settings on someone else's car without saying, hey. Yeah. We have to definitely say something. Do you mind if we make it cooler in here? If we warm it up in here

Because no one's gonna say if someone says hey, I'm a little cold. Can I turn the heat on? No one's gonna say no. I am why I'm gonna say if you turn the air You're not gonna turn the air on that's for sure. You want to make it hotter make it hotter Huh? Well, you're a dick then dude There's an actual dick if someone's warm too hot and they're like you mind if I turn the AC on for a little bit You just like no, I don't care that you're too hot. We're gonna knock into an AC on, that's what you would say. I go like this, now I'm for sure not gonna do it.

No, I, there are areas in my house. Whoa! There are areas in my house. I'm not function, dude. That are fucking pockets of coldness and it's so annoying, dude. And I turn the heat up and I sit in the area of the coldness by, you know,

I just happen to be there on the couch and it's, I get up and I walk four feet the other way and it's like the Sahara desert. That's nice. It's one of the, dude, what you're saying right now is one of those things that makes my brain do this. At first, I feel such relief, and I would almost say happiness,

about the fact that you also go through that, because my house is like that too. Then after that, I feel bad for having, for being happy about something shitty going on for you and what you own. And you're like AI learning about feelings right now. And then I go back to being happy that I'm not the only one who has fucked up

hitting an air system at their house. I, oh, cause you want, yeah, I get it. But yeah, cause that seems at my house, I'm happy I'm not the only one. If you're in someone's car, the fucking, the armrest saying I don't get, I just. You mean you don't know what he's saying? I mean, look, if it's a guy all the time doing the same thing, always putting his arm over

the thing, why are you driving with this dude so much first of all? Yeah. Hey guy, hey guy, take your own car and go- That's a very good point. How many times have you been in the car with another dude? What's the most dude you've been in a car with, how many times? You wanna know the answer? Cause I'm gonna tell you.

11? I'm gonna tell you. What? In this past year, honestly, it could be zero. But that's what I'm saying. Like I've probably driven with you more than most guys you've been with. Yeah, of course.

We've been in the car together driving somewhere 20 times? Recently almost none at all. But when we were younger, yeah. No, almost not at all. I'm just saying like, don't be driving with a dude so much, okay? Neither one of you guys hang out with other people at all. So I'll just say that. Okay, so you're in the car with a dude driving and you're with a dude, another dude over there driving like that.

You do that? Who leans on the console from the passenger seat? This is what I don't get. I mean, I could name somebody who's been in my car a dozen times this year, yeah. This year? Yes. He's in the room.

You're probably dating him. Taylor? Okay, we're not thinking about like people who can't put to work. Okay, I understand that. Maybe that's what this is. Of course, well that's a different, yeah. But it's annoying that,

By the way, that guy does not go to work. The guy that just submitted. Right, well he does, but it's at 11 p.m. because he's a DJ. And so when you, but when you, And he sells coke. When you go to, when you're in a passenger seat, that console should be for the driver.

Lean up against the window and door. Exactly. It's not like an airplane situation where you both only have one equally. Like the middle console is for the driver. You don't lean on that, you lean against the door. I guess I never really thought about it, honestly. Did you ever, dude, one time I was driving

and I sat this way out of the passenger side window and it's a trip for people, bro, onto the freeway. They'll drive by and they just see you like this. I'm confused, what do you do? Say that again. No. No, you're gonna. No, but you know what I said.

I don't, I was being you and not really listening. If you're driving, driver, and you sit like this, the passenger side, you sit like this and you're just facing out of the side window. How can you be on the passenger side if you're driving? Someone's driving. Oh, okay, you're in the passenger seat and you sit upright, straight forward.

No. No? I got it wrong again? Not straight forward. Okay. To the side, the spacer. You look out the window like that. Yeah, but like you square your shoulders off like that.

Got it, understanding now. It was supposed to, we weren't supposed to talk about it that much, but it's just. No, let's keep digging at this one. Yeah, I don't think, make that guy sit, make that guy,

I would say make him sit in the back, but then it looks like you're driving Uber for him. Well, next time it gets in your car, have rope and say, hey, come on in, open the door for him, let him sit down and get in the seat behind him and with the rope, tie him up like so his arms are bound close to his upper body. And then you tie with the rope all the way around his body

to the seat so that he can't even move his arms one way or the other. I don't know. And so not only can he not lean on the center console, but he can't touch your climate. I don't like when they say climate control because the cars do that. They'll be like, this is the climate control.

And it's like, dude, we're in a car. When he reaches for the climate dials, just say, I don't believe in climate change. No, like it's just so annoying. It's like, dude, we're in a car. Don't talk about the climate in a fucking four foot by four foot, you know, we're in a box, dude. You know why he says that?

It's like clouds are gonna come in and like lightning is gonna strike. You know why he says that? Cause that's what the car says about itself. I know, I'm saying the car shouldn't do that. Oh. It's not climate. Don't be like, if you want to change the climate in the car,

dude, we're right here. That's so fucking weird. What should they call it? Atmosphere? The weather. No. You want to change the air. AC.

AC. Or the AC, or the heat, yeah. I'll take it under consideration. Put on your raincoat, dude. You never know about the climate in my Volvo. I'll take it under. It's supposed to rain. I'll put it under review. All right. Yeah. All right. Stop driving with that dude.

Yeah, just stop driving so much with this guy. It's weird to drive so much with a guy, unless he's your boyfriend or husband. But I'm not even saying it in a gay way I don't mean it in a gay way. Of course not. It's just like what are you doing? Yeah. No, yeah We're gonna fucking GameStop a lot Yeah, next Breaking news coming in from bet 365 where every nail biting overtime win breakaway pick six three point shot underdog win buzzer beater, shootout,

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It's the girl you insisted was French, remember? Oh, and she's Spanish. And I said she had nice lips and you got so mad at me. There's a reveal in here. There's a reveal. She's from. Oh, okay, let's do it. Yeah.

Sorry about the darkness. I have the biggest pimple in history. I don't like pimples. No you don't. Thank you for answering my question, even though I think you didn't cover the wife material part, but also I agree with Matt

that there isn't actually a distinction. I noticed that you two see women in a very different way, and I agree with Matt, but I think I share with Chris the problem, a problem with the other sex. Like, I think he's a tiny bit misogynistic and I am a tiny bit Miss Andrik. And I wanted to maybe talk about it. To answer Matt's question, it's's of course I care about what Chris thinks because I care about him,

but, and I think we should discuss what being a woman really means. I think that men are too obsessed with genitality, which is a peepee in the wool. And they think that's intimacy and sex. And I totally disagree. And that's why they shame me. And they made me feel like a hoe because I don't partake in genitality. They think I want too much, I want commitment, I want them to be better, I want them to be reliable, and then they're like, oh no, I would rather pay you and buy you dinner and fuck you and then abandon you. And I have abandoned issues.

Such harsh words. I won't let you near me unless you commit. Oh, okay. That's the opposite of how it's defined by Greece. That's it. What? Well, I'm not French and I'm not Spanish. Yeah, you are. I am from Mania Grecia, which is in Greece. Made up.

Oh, Greece, okay. And I can say Delia better than you. Wow. Hey, yeah, you can. Also, I love you both a lot. Me more, yeah. Thank, yeah, you can. Also, I love you both a lot. Thank you. Me more, but yeah.

That's great. Uh, it sounds, this sounds like everybody, what it sounds like is any guy that's going to date you or whatever is getting the baggage from the past. That's what it sounds like. Which is what? Which is she's been either hurt or burned. And it's like, you know, some guys are just kind of chill guys. But chill guy. But like, uh, I'm a fun guy, but some guys are just chill guys.

You know, like the thought of going into dating, if you have negative thoughts like, okay, well, I'm not gonna let this person in close until we, yeah, you're negative. You start negative. You're fucking it all up from the beginning. If you go in and you're like, let's see what this is all about, it's a way better attitude.

She's... You're shooting yourself with the foot. She's saying that... She's saying that, this is a question. I don foot. She's saying that she's saying that this is a question. She's saying that she's doing that because this is why you mentioned the past. Correct me if I'm wrong. Because men in the past have just wanted the experience

to be like this. We go out to dinner. I pay for us. I give you my time and money and attention, and then in exchange we bang, bang, boogie. Yeah, but that's so Grecian, you know? That's so Grecian. They're just fucking, you know, with their shirts open

a little bit. Crazy to say Grecian instead of Greek, but yeah. No, I say Grecian. I know that, and that's what's crazy. Dude, fucking, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's great. Let's go to dinner, yeah? And then they go and then they're going like, what the fuck, like, they go back to my place, you know,

and they go back to the place and they just like, fuck. And he's like, that was awesome transaction, you know? And that's so Greek, Grecian. But, but, but dude, you know, it's, it's, it's, it's men and women are so different, dude, that, that a man is closer to a male chimp DNA wise than a male is to a female. Whoops nature. Okay. So, uh, we're're never gonna figure it out.

Is that true? That can't be true. Well, I fucking heard it. Oh, well, if we heard it, if Chris D'Elia heard it, it's true. Bro, that's what somebody said to me. Okay? All right.

The original version of I read it online, someone literally said it to me. And do we know that person who said it to be trustworthy or knowledgeable about stuff? About some stuff, yes. Okay. But not about everything. Look, no, a woman is more genetically similar

to a chimpanzee than a man. Okay, so I got it wrong, but wow, so women are, well, that's gonna sound sexist. What does it say? Women are more what? Genetically similar to chimpanzees than a man. Than to a man? Hold on.

What? Go up, go up, go up, go up. That's just a... Than a man. That's AI. Yeah, and this is confusing the way it's... It's not confusing the way it's... It's oddly phrased.

Click on that. Is it true that there's genetic difference between human males and... I'm sure it answered no. This is stupid to begin with. Oh, you didn't want to stay on a long answer. I didn't tell people to be like... We both pissed.

I just came up with a fucking hardcore stone ironclad fact. There you go. I don't know, whatever it does. Anyway, it doesn't matter. My point is, men and women are so fucking different that, like, we will never figure it out. And we won't, dude. We won't.

We won't. So... It's because men are always on the hunt trying to banger and women have no choice but to play defense and there are multiple strategies, but it puts them in such... immediately in such different categories. But men always want to just doink. Even if they really like you, they're like, well, let's see what, you know, we'll see, you know? And then they end up being like, all right, all right. Well, let's do it. Let's move in if you really want. All right.

Oh, okay. You got me. You got me. I just kind of wanted to fucking splurt and, you know. But so many guys are like stoked about like getting closer and like moving in. It's not like guys just want to bang and run. You know why? Enlighten us, please. Dude, because those guys are the guys that are like trying

to get in good with chicks. Yeah, they are. They're trying to move in with them and live with them. Yeah. And spend the right, their life with them. Yeah. But also they're trying to get in good with them in a different way than that. They're trying to, they're trying to, they know that they can't compete with men.

So they're like, well, let's get all the, you know, like the fucking, they're this guy. Give me a hug. That guy, fuck that guy, dude. Come in for a hug, come on. You're saying guys that are excited to move in with- The woman and you're just sort of like this, they're a fucking bitch, dude.

Their female partner are trying to get in good with women, that that's their motivation for trying to live with the person that they're in love with? Because they're not getting in good with the fucking men circle, dude. What I'm saying is... The craziest way to think about shit is what you're exhibiting right now. What I'm saying is...

It's so much easier to just believe them. Yeah. You know? But I don't do something because it's easy. I do something because it's right. No, I mean, so much easier in the sense that it makes so much more sense. You don't have to do so many mental gymnastics. But I really...

I don't know, dude. I fucking, when it comes to humanity, dude, I kind of got shit on line. Ha ha. Ha ha. Dude, I don't believe that. I mean, there are definitely versions of men who are like, yeah, like allies that are way loud vocal

and virtue signaling about it. And behind closed doors would be like, if the veil came off, they'd be complete fucking creeps and expose themselves to be the thing that they actually are. Those people exist, but just cause a guy wants to live with his fucking partner, it's for the rest of his life, it doesn't mean that he's just trying to get in good

with women or whatever that even means. I wanna live with Kristen. And the thing is, I wanna live and create a family, right? But if you don't want to create a family, then the, then the girl and the girls like, let's move it together. Guys like, Hey, a lot of guys fucked this up for me, but okay. Okay. I, this guy fucked it up for me.

Dude, if I ever see a guy, I'm going to fucking get off my bike and beat the shit out of them for real. Why are you on a bike? You don't have a bike. Well, I can't get out of my car. I'll be driving too fast, dude. If I'm on a bike and a guy's doing that, I'll just hop off the bike and do it. That would be so weird to see you on a bike, then see you seeing a guy doing this to a woman saying, coming from...

Ring, ring. Dude, you're just one big khaki guy right now. Stop hugging him. Look out, stand up. Look how khaki he is right now, dude. A fucking acorn, a human acorn. Congrats. I'm monochromatic. Who gives a fuck, dude? I'm monochromatic. And that's awesome.

Congrats. I've liked being monochromatic for so long. Here we go. What, you started it? No, I didn't start it, but I certainly was one of the pioneers of it. I've liked being monochromatic for so long. That- Here we go. What, you started it? No, I didn't start it, but I certainly was one of the pioneers of it. Ugh!

Ha ha ha ha ha! That's what starting a thing is. No. No, I didn't start it. I was just one of the first ones that did it, and then everyone else followed it. You know when it started too? First season of Boston Legal, dude.

When that shit came out, I saw- Ha ha ha ha ha! Boston Legal, dude, when that shit came out, I saw... Denny Crane had a fucking tie and a shirt the same color and I go, that's me for a while. I go, that's me for a while. And ever since then, I've been really doing monochromatic shit. And then Kanye came along and made it beige and everything. But dude, first season of Boston Legal, if you looked at me... I'm going to blow your mind.

You understood, what? I can point to a person that was doing it even earlier. Regis Philbin, who wants to be a millionaire? Yeah. Pull that pick up, dude. Purple on purple all the time. Dude, I understand. Red on red, yellow on yellow, dude.

The monochromatic king Regis Philbin or as Chris Malko's mom would say, Regis Philby. I understand, except for the fact that when Denny Crane did it, it was fashionable. When Regis Philbin or as Chris Mocco's mom would say Regis Philby. I understand except for the fact that when Denny Crane did it it was fashionable. When Regis Philbin does it it's fucking dorky and game show host like. So I took it from the fashion. Frankly it's wrong. Oh oh when William Shatner did it on ABC it was fashionable. Denny Crane. William Shatner has Denny Crane. I understand how acting works. Yeah. You know. That doesn't look good. Denny Crane looks fucking sick in it.

No, he looks great. Look at Regis Philby, dude. There you go. I don't really even remember Denny Crane doing- It wasn't really his thing. He did it, he did it. It was Regis' thing, dude. The first season of The Vaults Unleashed was when I started rocking it because Denny Crane

did it and that's when everyone started fucking doing it. Denny Crane! All right. Anyway. Denny Crane, dude. The fucking- What if I change my name to Danny Crane? There's not even, actually not even one picture. Maybe it was James Spader.

I don't... You didn't do it, neither did he. I'm making it up. Just making it up, dude. All right, so anyway, let's do another one. All right, I don't even remember the submission. Anyway, don't drive with that guy. That's not the submission.

I've got a question for you guys. Cool. Do you ever use those like chrome plugins that scrape the internet for discount codes and different how do you feel about them and I'll give you the example as making me call in I was on a website and I found a discount code for $40 off their entire site not percentage straight up $40 off And not only did I buy myself a $50 gift card for $10 well, I sent it to all my friends and

What now I'm feel bad about it. Okay, but also why you putting $40 off? promo code just out there on the internet, so Wonder what you guys think think what would you do? You game the system. Would you say it's on the business to you know protect their codes a little better and now Chalk it up to the game dude as my brother would say. Or would you say it's on me to respect that they're trying to run promotions that aren't for everybody Yeah but I don't know.

And to not steal them. What I would say. Just cause I can. I mean dude the way he's doing it or to not steal them. Have you ever done it yourself? What are your thoughts? Doing donuts. A cro way he's or to not steal them. Have you ever done it yourself? What are your thoughts? Doing doughnuts a crook, you know or to not steal them fucking steal their money

so what I think is It depends on what the company is if it's fucking like some massive conglomerate. Yeah, fuck them They're not gonna notice anything and take what you can get if it's some small business comment It's gonna roll that's gonna really hurt's some small business that's going to really hurt the small business and fuck them up, then maybe don't do that. But yeah, if it's Microsoft, dude, fucking pass it around. Take advantage. Yeah, no comment Amazon.

OK. But if it's a mom and pop shop, if it's like a barber shop that is just in a town somewhere, don't do it, but no comment. Are you farting again, dude? Black and Decker, what? Are you farting again? Have the decency to be quieter with your butthole.

It wasn't even really a fart, dude. Okay, what made the noise that came out of your butt? I let, it wasn't even really a fart, dude. Okay. What made the noise that came out of your butt? Was it a fart or not a fart? No, it wasn't. It wasn't a fart. Interesting, it was talking? No, a fart goes, you know.

Sometimes, usually, yeah. What makes? It genuinely, it genuinely just kinda went. Which is a fart. No, but it was like settling. It was settling. Your butt was settling a score? My anus was settling.

Okay. And it just, I moved and it just goes. It was fine. It was not a fart. There's no, it's not shit air. It went twice and you know it. Cause I settled really nicely. You resettled?

You guys have a friend who thought that farting was just shit getting closer to your ass. Oh my God, dude. I don't remember that, but that's fantastic. Making that up is so weird. Because it's so not accurate. You never read that. Yeah, no, yeah. You just know that you've always thought that and you say weird because it's so not accurate. You never read that.

Yeah, no, yeah. You just know that you've always thought that and you say it like it's just a matter of fact. Stuff that you just always know is amazing. Definitely somebody he knows. I never said that. No way, I would never forget that. But I would know that person for sure.

Yeah, exactly, yeah. I'd be friends with that person. Yes, you would be good friends with someone who thought that for their whole life. Hell yeah. It's probably Idis Mattis or something. Okay, next. Oh, here we go.

Hey Chris, hey Matt. I am wondering how you guys would handle a situation. So my husband works for a company that his cousin's wife also works for. She has always had dramas around her her entire life. And she brings that into the workplace pretty often. Great. So what she's done is basically created this lie

that my husband is in love with her. Oh no. And that is why they do not get along. And she has told multiple people at work this and it got back around to him and of course he told me about it. And so we have a trip coming up in about a month and I'm expecting that there will be some drama because she will be there along with several of the women that she has told

this lie to. Oh no. And I'm just wondering how you would respond to her if something comes up or like, should I say anything to her about this lie that she's created? I know she'll deny it, so that makes it hard. But yeah, I'm just wondering like, what's a spin move that I can make on her or what's something I can say to her that's not going to create more drama, but that we'll maybe like put her in her place and let her know like, stop lying,

stop making this stuff up. Let me know. Thanks, love you guys. So she thinks, so they don't get along and she's blaming it on it's because he loves me? That doesn't make any sense. I don't know if that's the order of events. She didn't specify that they weren't getting along

and then the reason that the cousin's wife decided. She did say though. The reason they don't get along. Yeah. Yeah, but that could have been. Okay. I don't know that that's the order is all I'm saying. But yes, she thinks that the reason they don't get along

is because he's in love with her. Now, one thing that is possible that I wanna throw out there that was not mentioned conveniently is, is he in love with her? Or they're just fucking having a crazy torrid affair. Which doesn't sound likely because why would she go out saying that to everybody they work with? And he'd be nice to her. Sure, yes. Yeah. So you're saying it's possible he's in love with her? No, well, yeah, I guess I'm saying what, how do we know that it's not that?

Because she's going off the assumption that it isn't. That's hilarious. I believe that he's not, but like, how does she know that? can help you get there. All you need to do is make a new deposit before December 31st, 2024 to pay zero dollars in management fees on net new deposits until the end of 2025. Lower fees means you can keep more of your money where it belongs, in your account. Don't wait! Opening an account is quick and easy. Switch to Quest Wealth Portfolios today and keep more of your money. Conditions apply. portfolios today and keep more of your money conditions apply. As a Fizz member, you can look forward to free data, big savings on plans, and having your unused data roll over to the following month, every month.

At Fizz, you always get more for your money. Terms and conditions for our different programs and policies apply. Details at fizz.ca. It would be nice to know. That's it. No, dude. I do. I. it. No, dude. I do. I.

Oh, my God, dude. It's just so it's like, dude, a person that is a crazy person fucks you up so much, and it's not even your fault, dude. It's like, just stop, dude. Hey, hey, cause oh, shut the fuck up, dude. It's like just stop dude. Hey, hey, Cusso shut the fuck up, dude. I don't love you. Check this out. Hate you. Dude. It's so annoying. It's like, it's like, I don't, the guy's not doing, okay.

Say he's not in love with her. He's not doing anything, dude. He's just doing his job. And this fucking idiot, this other fucking idiot, is just like in her head, she goes, huh, well, he fucking loves me. And now this guy has to deal with all this fucking horse shit. Do you understand? I know you understand, but that's, that is fucking so that,

dude, there's nothing more annoying than that. There's nothing more annoying than when a, a crazy person's craziness affects you when you ain't doing shit. Be crazy on your own fucking time. I've said this before. That never happens though. No, it does happen a lot.

Craziness are like literal wrecking balls. Very crazy people, but I'm saying I'm crazy. I'm crazy in my way, usually not, you know, I don't walk into a coffee shop and scream, there's a fire, you know, and there's not. I'm just crazy in my head. People mostly don't have to deal with it, except my wife a lot, right? But like when you're just like a fucking guy at work. You're not, we're using the term crazy instead of broad way. Like you're not the same kind that the person

like the woman she's describing is. You fucking loser. You don't seek drama. People that seek drama are so terrifying because it's easy to stir shit up and it's really, really, really hard to quell it and end it. It just doesn't go away sometimes. Oh, you just suck sweetie.

Ah, ah dude. I think she should just. You make your drama cause you suck? Oh, you're boring? Aww! Hey! On your own time, sweetheart! Like this in the chair and then just like that.

The fuck out of here, it's so annoying. I don't know if she's boring, no. She's just... You wouldn't be making all that shit up if you weren't boring. Crazy people are pretty interesting, you know? Yeah, but because they have to be, otherwise they're boring. Their true self is boring. So they fucking, they make, their brain breaks and they have to be otherwise they're boring their true self is boring so they fucking they make their brain breaks and they become all crazy so they can become interesting like on purpose they're like

shit I'm boring no not on purpose not a lot of something maybe some of the time but like it's just like people want to matter you know I'm interested I really would love to know more maybe this woman can call back and and explain to me, this sounds so interesting to me. Like why this woman, why would she start this shit? She's fucking it up for the whole family. She's married to the guy's cousin. Like what a fucking terrible thing to make up. God, that sucks.

But like, what does she say? How does she say, God, I want to know everything. Yeah, yeah. There's a lot not known for us to know. But I think anyway, based on just the question and the information you gave us, I think you should bring it up with her for sure. If everyone knows and it's just this secret

everyone's sitting on. Absolutely. Just say, hey, can we talk about this? Let's just love business. Why do you go around saying this? Like, and it would be interesting, I bet, most interesting for your sake to just be like, I'm really curious as to what makes you say this. Like take it as, make it seem like you're not like,

hey bitch, why are you saying this shit about my husband? But like, say like, frame it in a way that makes it sound like you're genuinely interested. Sit down with me. Yeah, yeah, like that. Sit down with me, sweetie doll. Give her no way, even if you have to bite your tongue and really, really try to do this.

Give her no way to be like, oh, well she came all fucked up at me about her husband. Just because he loves me is, I'm like, don't let her go get away with any of that shit. The best way to corner someone like that and really pin them down is to seem like you're coming proper, super correct. Hmm.

You know? Hmm. Yeah, I'm upset. And just be real direct with her about it. Don't let her squirm out. I'm upset. It's like wrestling, dude. Pin her down and don't let her out. With Grace? What?

She should pretend she has a podcast and then ask her to come on as a guest worst interview worst get renting mics and I'm renting a studio and shit Anthony's there well he's not here all right Anthony got a flat tire yeah Anthony got a flat tire dude he's just getting dome dude jerking off the hentai oh Oh yeah, I got a flat tire guys. Oh hell yeah dude. Anthony's not getting dumb dude. No? No, his back hurts too much.

He's just, maybe he's eating box instead. Anthony. I can't dude, I got a flat tire. Come on dude. I didn't do the tongue thing. You know I don't like it. I didn't do the tongue thing. Fucking God.

No one would like that. Dude, hey, you know when the Sopranos, in the first season when they're like, don't tell him I, you know, I feel fellatio because it's gay. I kind of believe that. What? Dude.

Chris. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You believe, you agree with Uncle Junior of the Sopranos and his feelings about fellatio and giving it? It's just like, it's fine. It doesn't mean you're gay. I know. Yeah, but it's-

The least gay thing you can do- No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Is have your face buried in a woman's No. Poseisi Poseidon adventure. That's where we disagree. Okay. That is truly where we disagree.

To have your face buried in a woman's Poseidon adventure That's truly where we disagree. Dive your face buried in a woman's Poseidon adventure. That's truly where we disagree. Is just not remotely homosexual behavior. No, what's not remotely homosexual is being inside, doing missionary sex and also kissing. What is, if there was a spectrum of gayness, it's a little bit gayer to then go down next to a vagina and be kissing it and stuff like that.

And it's not gay, it doesn't mean you're gay. You're right, there's a spectrum, but none of it gets you close to the homosexual side. No part of an act of intimacy with a woman, if you're a man, is remotely gay because she's a woman. Look, I agree. I think even if you were with a woman and you had her have a strap on and she plugged y'all up,

that's not gay. Because you're with a woman, I agree. Right, yeah. But it's a little bit gayer than- That is a little bit. Right. Because it's like mimicking a dick which only men have. But how, wait, wait, wait, no.

How is going down on a woman if you're a guy gay? It's not gay, it's just like, ah, come on, man. Making him so nervous. No, I mean, I don't mean you are, come on, man. I mean, like, it's like, ah, yeah, I'll do it, sure. I'll do it for you, sweetie, but I can't mean you are, come on man. I mean, like, it's like, ah, yeah, I'll do it, sure. I'll do it for you, sweetie, but I can't. You know what's going on.

I don't. It's the classic guys who think they should only be serviced. Ah! And don't have to service anybody else. So servicing is what females do, and therefore it's not gay. Is that what you're saying? Is, yeah, is that it? Servicing, I don't know.

I mean, you're the one who thinks that you fuck. I don't really actually think it. I just think, like Junior, look. That. Servicing, I don't know. I mean, you're the one who thinks that you fuck. I don't really actually think it. I just think, like Junior, look. That's what Junior, yeah. His swag, dude, is pretty fucking dope when he's talking about it. Such a dipshit. Uncle Junior's swag.

Like DJ Khaled said it. And- Who? DJ Khaled said that? Yeah, he did in an interview. And then stuck to it. They were like, you don't really think that. He's like, yeah, I think, you know. He thinks it's gay.

No, no, not that it's gay. No no not that it's gay He's like I I do everything and I think that I shouldn't have to do you know whoa dude Wait a best DJ Khaled find it most disgusting thing to imagine anything sexual with him. You know, I don't know man, okay Fucking another one How do I search for this? Him after he gets to be gay. DJ Khaled, eating pussy.

You know? Gay. The computer just breaks. DJ Khaled, eating pussy, gay. DJ Khaled says he expects oral sex, but won't return the favor because there are quote, different rules for men. Rule, there's no rules, you know?

Look at that. Like someone's gonna get him in trouble. Look at that picture with the headline. Like someone's gonna be like knocking on his door. Excuse me Mr. Khaled. We've heard you broke the rules can we come in? Have you been eating pussy? So I'm convinced he has. I believe a woman should praise the man. The king. If you hold it down for your woman I feel like the woman should praise. What? And the man should praise the queen. But you know if you the king hold it down for for your woman I feel like the woman should praise and the man should praise the Queen but you know my way of praising is called huh how was dinner you like the house you living in you like all them clothes you get in I'm taking care of your family I'm taking

care of my family you know put in the work They say you don't go down. Yeah, never all of that to say you don't go down I don't you saying I'm in life. I don't do that. I don't do that Not even like for her birthday. Nah, listen Christmas She gets these can I put in that work. My work is great. You know what I'm saying? Idiot. So now she told you she don't do that. Is that okay?

I'm not, it's not okay. Because, you know what I'm saying? I'm confused. So. You gotta understand, I'm the Don, I'm the king. What? And she's the queen. The king of the house.

She's the queen. Of course. So. I don't do that. So what an idiot. So bad at debating. Got cornered so hard. That woman just ate his ass up. You know?

At the end he was just like, because I don't do it. I don't do that, because. Wow, is he just the most supreme fucking idiot in the world or what? You know what it is? It's, if there's an argument to make in his defense, he's doing it the worst possible way. Is it a bit?

Is there any chance it's a bit? Yeah, there's a chance. He's just like, dude, like you can be in a relationship where it's like, dude, I'm the guy, I'm gonna provide, you, you, you know, it's like fucking transactional, okay, fine, but like, don't, don't say it the way he's saying it. I'm the king, I'm the don, and my shit is like,

huh, huh, you like the house you live in? Like, what a moron, dude. Crazy. We not the best. He's just, yeah. He's so entertaining though, huh? Yeah. In his train wreckness.

Yeah, but it's like- The shit where he gets carried on the stage so his shoes don't touch the ground. Hey, they're shoes. They're invented explicitly to touch the ground. Yeah. Anyway. Whatever.

We'll do one more before we wrap this. Who knows how many we'll do. Oh, wow. Hey guys. So I have a question or I need advice about whether or not I should play a show for this collective that has reached out to me and asked for me to play for them for a charity

to raise money for my friend who was in the hospital to pay for the medical bills. So the people that reached out to me that want me to play for them are the arch nemesis of the group that I usually DJ for. So I'm wondering, should I just say I don't give a fuck? Like I'm trying to raise money for my friend, still going to spend for these people that my friend doesn't like necessarily. I don't know how to approach it.

Like I should just not give a fuck or if I should say true to the people who I usually promote for and get into shows for free because I'm kind of on their side nonetheless. So yeah, just let me know what you think. Love you guys and everything you're doing. Aw, sweet. Just do, just are you allowed to say she's pretty?

Yeah, you should. All right, well fucking thanks dude. But it's's just like you do it a lot. You know fucking The attractive commentary police no I'm not I'm just I'm here to point out things that You know I'm observant, so you're observing. She's pretty I'm observing that you say that quite a bit You don't like when Matt says yeah, pretty. Yeah, but it makes me mad. No, no, no. It makes you mad when I comment. No, it doesn't.

No, it's not when you say girls are pretty. It's when I'm specific about certain features. Cause one time I said something about someone's teeth and you fucking raged. But then too you do it. And I know, I know, I know. It's not a woman thing. It's just, it's like, I want to know

what they're going to say. I want to know about them. And you're immediately just making it about their looks. Oh, the richness, dude. You're really bringing the richness this episode. You're, what do you call it? You're superficial. Yes, that's me, dude.

Figured it out. That's me. But you're not though, you're not superficial. I know that. me. Figured it out. That's me. But you're not though, you're not superficial. I know that. So does everyone watching listening right now. Yeah, and I'm not either. Everyone knows that's horseshit. Well, I do like, you know, look.

Here we go. I'm not gonna lie. Great. Hotness is hotness. Said nothing. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Hotness is hotness and porches are Porsches, dude. You're not gonna fucking.

Nah, now that is a good point. What were you gonna say though? You were gonna say something about that, right? Yeah, I think you just check with everyone. Yeah. That's it. Clear it. If, look, if in the end it's all in aid of your friend

and helping her out with her medical bills, that washes away everything else. But I agree, you wanna like clear it, clear it first. Sorry, sorry, I didn't wanna play the show for the Christmas thing because that's my arch nemesis. So you have to suffer longer. Boop. Ha ha ha.

Boop. We could have had enough money to get you outta here. Boop. We almost got the money and I wish another company came to me and did it. Because I couldn't do it because it's my arch nemesis, dude. Just fucking. You're a piece of shit. You should have done the show.

Whoa, going to hell. No, no. Maybe they go to hell. It's possible. I don't think that that kind of shit. Look, you're a good person. You're asking the right question maybe, but just check with everyone, ask everyone.

I mean, if you go to the people that you're usually working with and you're like, listen, I wanna help my friend. And they say, nah, then that's fucked up. Or maybe they wanna do something where they raise money. I don't know. Yeah, just do it. But no, don't, you don't even have to ask.

Just be like, hey, I know this is like, this is what it is. But like, you know, clear the air first. But like, I'm doing this to help you, period. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Story. Bye bye. It's DJing, you know? It's like sliding DJing.

No, no, no, I'm not. I'm just saying, like, it's not, you're not fucking. Here we go. I'm going to slide him so hard. No, I'm not. It's just like, you're not fucking. Here we go. I'm gonna slide him so hard. No, I'm not. It's just like, you're not fucking, you're not like making clothes for the homeless, dude. You're playing Sandstorm, right?

There we go. No, and I know, I know, no, no, no, I know. But it's like, you're playing fucking, you know, some Tiesto. You're not fucking carving turkey for people dying of scurvy. You're, you're like, oh shit, oh dude, I gotta mix this Avicii fucking with, with, with a little bit of cascade. Yeah, what, I have two questions. What, why is everyone a DJ? Is one. I know why. And two. I know why. a DJ is one. I know why.

And two is what is a DJ? I know why. And God bless the lady. And there's talent, fine. There's talent. Like Diplo's crazy talented, okay? He's a DJ. Yeah. But good DJs produce music and shit.

This is what I don't understand. But there are DJs that are just DJs because they put a fucking playlist together. That's what I don't understand. That kind of person, honestly, should be, oh, they should be tossed. How is it? How is it a full time profession? How is it? Well, because people are people are they they're they're untalented and they need to do something.

Can I step in here and defend DJs? Yeah, no, I'm asking for real. I'm saying there are some talented DJs out there. They're curating a vibe in the room. And they have to- Bye. No, they have to react to what's happening. Okay, look, you're probably being hired to assist in a party and

keep the atmosphere good. Okay. And that is just as important as lighting and food. Yeah, I agree. Guest list. I got an iPod shuffle. Nope, an iPod shuffle can't be reactive to a... So that's... So what? That's the answer to my question. So you gotta, oh, I know what'll get them. Boop. It could be that. But... No, oh, I know what'll get them. Boop! It could be that. But that- No, dude, unless you're making your own shit. Make your own shit the way you mix, the way you move.

And I'm not saying like, look, you can be a DJ and a good DJ and not be a producer. You can still be a good DJ. But most of it is horse shit. It's like acting, bro. Okay. But that's not how a DJ would describe it. I literally was asking the question like what,

but that's the answer, I guess. Chris, did you have an iPod shuffle at your wedding? It's fucking slam teeny, slam filled. I didn't have a DJ either. I had a fucking band, dude. Remember? Oh yeah. No.

It's a fucking, you know. Oh yeah, I do remember. Yeah, yeah. Remember the guy? The guy was the shit. Bro, is there anything you want me to play? Remember that story? No.

Story? No. Dude, this motherfucker, first of all, the band killed it. They were awesome. He's like, the first break he came out, he's like, hey man, nice to meet you, just some of the band guy. The beforehand, he says, if there's any song you want to hear. And I was like, nah, you know,

just play your thing, you know? He's like, all right, well let me know if there's anything. Starts playing. First break, he comes off. Oh man, I just, this is what a great vibe. I just want to, uh, uh, is there anything you want to play? Uh, and I was like, nah, you're doing great, dude. You do you. I don't want to tell you what to do. You're killing it. Okay. Second break, he comes over. He says, Oh man, this is great. You have a great wedding, man.

I know I asked this already, but is there any song, if you dig deep, is there any song you want to hear? He was a Will Ferrell character? And I said, Hey man, honestly, you're killing it. I wouldn't change a thing. I'm totally happy. And he says, okay. The third break, he comes over, he says, oh man.

South Park character, wow. He's like, is there anything you wanted? I know, and I'm like, all right, look, dude, now I'm pissed. I like, just don't, I said it's all good. What do you think? I'm like that shy? Like, there is a song I want him to play.

No, he thinks you may have thought of something. Okay, okay. Right? So I go like this. At a loss, I go like this. Okay. Brickhouse? And he goes like this.

Wow. Wow, I don't know this story. Oh, I love it. Wow. And then doesn't play Brickhouse. That's too good, dude. That's too fucking good. The whole time.

That's amazing, dude. Dude, that's awesome. The whole time. That's amazing, dude. Dude, that's awesome. There's an amazing sequence in the movie House Guest to the song Brickhouse. So let's pound it out to that, right? I mean, I guess, but like. That's hilarious. But no, so it's like he fucked me, dude.

He made me pick a song. He fucked me up, dude. That's why he laughed. He was like, I got him. I fucking nailed him to the wall just finally after four times. When he went back and he laughed and then he went on his knees, it was for so long, I was like, what's happening? And then he goes like this.

How old was this guy do you think? And I realized he was laughing silently. Right, right, right, wow. How old is he? About, yeah. Well, at least 55. OK, that makes it way better, yeah. Yeah.

If he's 35, that's like half as funny. Yeah, it's funny, but it's like 55, 60. So good, yeah. I mean, he was killing, and dude, he knows Brickhouse. If you fucking have- He knew everything. Dude, you don't even need to be a musician to know how to play Brickhouse. Exactly, dude.

You just get on stage and you're like, I think I got this. Yeah, and then you don't know the guitar, you get somebody to just go, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Exactly, the bass, but yeah. P boom boom boom exactly the bass, but yeah It's a bass, but yeah, whatever. It's kind of a guitar. No, it is a guitar, but it's a bass guitar It's all good. It's all good. So good. So mine

All right. Well, this was a really great episode even though we argued so much. No, it just it's fine No, it was great. Yeah, you didn't like it. It's good. It was good No, it was great. You think it was great episode. I thought it was pretty great. Oh see now you're going back No, but only because you're like being a shithead about it. I'm being you think what do you think the episode was? I'm being like negatively influenced by your bullshit attitude. Don't be Sometimes it's hard when somebody's so fucking negative. No when somebody's so I'm very very when somebody's so fucking negative. No, when somebody's so negative. Very, very convincing and like.

Convincingly negative, yeah. Anyway. All right. Well, all right. Thanks everybody. Have a great Christmas. Again, don't forget, if you haven't gotten somebody that you love or care about a nice gift, it's very easy.

Patreon.com slash Lifeline Luxury slash gift. Oh yeah. Thanks everybody. Love to love to love you. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

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