Lifeline - 142. Denzel On Denzel

Episode Date: December 29, 2024

LIFELINE ✨LUXURY✨ is available at patreon.com/lifelineluxury. Extra episodes every month, no advice, all for $5. Our Patreon is also the exclusive home to all the live podcasts which we film and upload! 🤳 Want to submit to Lifeline? Go here: forms.gle/EYbqjvyy1A9r728Y9 🎧 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: apple.co/3NG2G2G 🔊 Subscribe on Spotify: spoti.fi/3NPUwoT 🔗 All our links: linktr.ee/watchlifeline TODAY we're talking about where to enter the shower, vanity plates, the way friends act after you have kids, when to put the toothpaste in your mouth, and respect for people doing their gigs. 💚 Lifeline is the first podcast about you, hosted by Matt D'Elia & Chris D'Elia. More Matt D'Elia: Sign up FOR FREE For Matt's Patreon for all episodes of The Private Record and upcoming drops of Matt D'Elia is Confused Book 20 or 40 min one-on-one sessions with Matt at mattdelia.com. More Chris D'Elia: Congratulations podcast: congratulationspod.com Live on tour: chrisdelia.com/tour More LIFELINE: Instagram: instagram.com/watchlifeline Tiktok: tiktok.com/@watchlifeline Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, for something then. Yeah. Row, row, row your boat. That's terrible. Gently up my butt. And made it worse. No one will beat us now. That's how you made it. You made it so no one will beat us. Dude I turned it around. I made it epic. I almost said the f-word and you would have been so mad. It is a podcast, it is, lifeline time. Here we go. We are up for, we are, we are doing lifeline. Yeah.

And the, the, the thing isn't up. So that's great. A great way to start in it. It's a really good way to kick things off. Not only do I sing, bro, bro, bro, your boat, but the things we have December, not only is it December 29th, Christmas is over. It was a lovely holiday. I hope everyone had a great time.

Happy new year in a few days, which means since it's December 29th, happy birthdays to, we got John Voight up in here. Jude Law. We got Jude Law up in here, and we got Ted Danson, who up in here. Jude Law is Phil Collins, even though he is secretly Phil Collins. And of course, it is also the birthday of the very important cultural figure and icon, frankly,

young Don the sauce god. YouTube star, it says, young Don the sauce god. Worst god. Just crazy to be. Dude, he's getting older now. Dude, he's like 29. When he's 40, that's going to be so odd. The Grecian god.

Dude, OK. Yeah, well. Now what? Who remembers last episode? Yeah, I understand. He said he never does it. And what do we have? Never do what?

Wait, never do what? Here, says the F word in the first five minutes. What'd I say? The F word. Oh, did I actually? English. I'll bleep it out. Wait a minute, I'm sorry.

Yeah, don't be sorry. I don't care, you're the one who cares. Oh wow, that's a bummer I did that. And every time I do it, you jump on me. Yeah, but here be sorry. I don't care. You're the one who cares. Oh, wow. That's a bummer I did that. And every time I do it, you jump on me. Yeah, but here's the thing. Jump on me. I'm good with my, oh man, I messed up. And you are the...

No, I'm not. Okay. It's beyond that. When you first started ripping me one. Did I do that? Ripping me a new one, English. Ripping me a new one, you, I would say, oh no, okay, whoops. Now you do it every time and it's like, hey.

I didn't know I did it. Get off me back, mate. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that and we can bleep it out, but it's fine. Get off me back, mate. But young Don, the sauce god, is the sauce god. Maybe he wanted to pick a god that you could, that he could obviously be,

like he couldn't be the god of wind, right? There's already, that would be too hard. That exists, yes. And it's just the running for it is like, oh man, I'm not even close to being number one at the God of the wind. But like nobody wants to be the sauce God. So maybe he's just like.

Maybe Emerald or somebody like that does. Who else's birthday is it? Is that Dillon Manette? This is December 29th birthday. Oh dude, Dillon Manette's birthday is today. He, well, he just moved, but he was literally my neighbor. He lived right next door to me for a long time.

That guy is an actor Yes, he is. He's in a big band. He stopped acting actually He's just a musician. I believe he quit acting. Yeah, cool. What's his band's name? The quitters For real? No, no, no. No. Oh, I see. I get the joke. I get the joke I get the joke. So anyway, nice dude. Is he? Oh, yeah. Cool. Really cool guy I get the joke, I get the joke, I get the joke, I get the joke. So anyway.

Nice dude. Is he? Oh yeah. Cool. Really cool guy. But anyway, so it's their birthdays and you type in birthdays, I don't even know who some of these people are, go up.

So it's... I love how it starts with all people, we have no idea who they are. Hudson Matter, Ross Lynch, Chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi-chi made that name up 100% Chi-China. Chi-China! And then we have Estella Ortiz. Paris Borello? Paris Borelk.

Whoa, those letters don't go together. And Dylan Minnette is the first person I know it is. Nine of those people are the same person, but that's fine. And that's okay. All right, cool. Well, good. Happy birthday, Jude Law, you're 51. That's crazy, you're only 51.

Jude Law? Anyway, Ted Danson. Ted Danson? Move it up. Ted Danson. Oh yeah, all right. Young Don saucehead God? Danson is, what's up with Ted Danson dude, you know?

All right. What do you mean what's up? Like he's, I just don't get people who are just like, yeah, I'll just keep working. Like it makes no sense to me. It just doesn't. Like Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing a movie where he's playing Santa Claus now.

You're 78. What, what, what are you doing? And I don't, I'm not hating. It's just like, bro, if I could stop working tomorrow, dude, you understand? Not yet. Cause you haven't said anything. Dude, you understand? Not yet, cause you haven't said anything. I would be chilling in a deep couch and just hanging with my kids and. You know, there actually probably is a version of you

in your life right now where you could stop working. Yes, there is. So. But I'd have to really downsize, maybe. Yeah. No, I'd have to downsize. Yeah, of course you would. I'd have to really downsize. Maybe. Yeah. No, I'd have to downsize. Yeah, of course you would.

I'd have to downsize. I know. Yeah, no, I want, I'm talking about live the way I live now and not keep chasing it. The mortgage, you know, then I could for sure, I would be, my whole thing is private plain money. Yo. You'll never you'll never you'll never you'll never hear from me again, dude.

I will convince everyone to delete my number. I won't delete theirs. I go I meet up with them and I say, now let me see you delete my number. Why they don't have it. Why you don't want them anymore? I get Instagram gone. Everything is gone. I'm off X. I'm off you know uh... Do we still do this? Only if it helps you. Absolutely not if it doesn't. Okay. And I love doing this. So then why would you not? I don't understand. Because I could just invite you over

and we could bullshit. But what if I don't want to come? I hire a driver for you. What if I tie myself to a chair? You get the chair, you get movers? I own the chair, I own that chair. You buy the chair? I just, I don't, I don't understand it, man. I don't, like, what is it all, I don't,

I always thought about that. Like, what is it, what do you, what, if you enjoy work, okay, but what do you? Well, let's think about it this way, though. Think about really, really, really wealthy entire families, OK? In which all of the family members never have to work a day in their lives.

Not only that, but also their progeny and their progeny. All four or five generations never have to even sniff thinking about work. What do you have to say about that? You, do you think, why are these people going to work at all? Why bother? Okay, so, so what do you mean?

Well, like, they can go to do work, but like, it's the balance of it. It's like, if you're working every day 10 hours and you have private plane money, that is so bonkers to me. Okay, but Arnold probably does one movie every three years now, right? Yeah, I understand, yeah.

But I'm talking about like The Rock, Kevin Hart. It's like. Well, these are, I mean, look, these people have unbelievably massive egos. Right, right, yeah. And I don't mean like in the boring, straightforward sense. I mean like they needed to be fed on an insanely high level. And to feed that ego at that level, you can't just like do a movie every few years.

You gotta keep doing it. You tap into that and you're in that slipstream and it's like, you gotta keep going. I think, I don't think I get it in the sense of experience. I'll never get that. But I think I get it psychologically. Yeah, psychologically, okay, yeah. Because nothing is ever enough, too.

That's the most human thing. Yeah, I understand that, yeah. It's like everything works on that addiction curve. It's just like, it's never enough. The new level is always like not enough where you need to be. Like almost no one Yeah says you know what I'm good where I am. I don't need to do that next the bigger thing I don't need to do the thing that's gonna get me paid more get more eyeballs on me or whatever

People are like always like yeah, well, what's next which I don't really get that because on a major level I completely agree with you. If I had if I had 10 million dollars. Mm-hmm I'd be like Kaiser fucking Soze dude. Like limping? He's gone. I would, yeah. My best friend in the world would never see me again. And he'd be like, I'm not worried about him.

I knew that that would happen. Yeah. If you got that money, he'd just disappear. Well, he don't have my number. He didn't even have my number at that point. Okay, well. Let me see your phone. Put it in to where? My name?

Delete that. And then go to the... Such a dick, you know? Yeah. The most dick thing you could ever do is take someone's phone and delete your contact information from him. You're not contacting me ever again.

I have private play money. I did it. I'll see you later. Well, I won't actually. Bye. Why don't you just disappear? Why do you need to go that far? Because I don't want anyone bothering me. Get a new phone number. That's the easiest. You get a new phone number and at that point no one needs to be able to contact you except the people that you want to be able to contact you. Wipe everything. Get a new email address, a new phone number and then you're done. I make it a point though to let you know you can't contact me. Dick. Dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick. Anyway, dude, I'll be in Fresno and San Luis Obispo

and Covina even though Marco doesn't have it on the screen. Oh, he's over two, that's pretty sick. So chrislea.com and thank you very much and nothing's on the screen. Literally nothing, all it says is lifeline, that's it. And I know what podcasts we're doing. I know what podcasts we're doing. I never have to check that.

It's up. And I already said those dates, let's scroll. Dubuque, Iowa, for fuck's sake, dude, you know. Winnipeg, Saskatoon, Cranston, Portland, Oregon, Portland, Maine, it's okay. Lubbock, Amarillo, Texas, Denver, Colorado, Boston, Massachusetts, Atlanta, Georgia. That's fine, that's fine. Winnipeg, Oregon, Portland, Maine. It's okay. Lubbock, Amarillo, Texas, Denver, Colorado, Boston, Massachusetts, Atlanta, Georgia, Winnipeg, Regina,

Regina, See, this is it. Regina, Canada. It's not, it's not vagina. It's Regina, actually. Did you know that? Yeah. Of course, because there's no V in it.

Crazy. Become a member of our Patreon. We this month have dropped the second ever, the second ever lifeline live episode. Make sure you're a member over there at patreon.com slash lifeline luxury. It is the only way to see our lifeline lives. There are now two of them and there will be more coming at you soon. Three episodes a month over there. Get on over there.

There it is. Uh, and you'll be very happy that you've done so. And who likes free stuff Matt D'Alia's confused is returning next month and the way to become a member to get every episode for free forever is to right now before it's no longer free become a member at patreon.com slash Matt D'Alia and what's up with the AI picture of you my producer does these AI thumbnails for us funny oh. Oh so mad. It's a trailer that's been wanting. But what's the reason though?

Because it's AI and it looks cool. Yeah. So these are, is it up already or is it not up already? That's just a live stream for testing stuff. So when are you starting it? Next month. I mean I've started doing stuff like but I'm building the studio, getting the show ready and all that. Oh, nice. Sick, isn't it? Yeah, it is. Zooming in. That's awesome.

It's coming together, isn't it? Yeah. There's a picture of our family. Yeah, you're literally in the frame of every shot. Word up, dude. So I cut you out of that shot right there. Boxed you out. So dick.

There's me, mom, and daddy. Mommy, daddy, and Maddie. That's me. I Boxed you out. That's so dick. There's me, mom and daddy. Mommy, daddy and Maddie. That's me, I'm Maddie, I'm Maffey. Whoa, that sucks, dude. What, what I said? The way you said what you just said sucks. It's mommy and it's daddy and it's me, Maffey. Ew.

Like fucking come off it. Maffey, Maffey, Maffey. I'm chilling and we're having a good time. And you know, what? What do you want from me? No, nothing. Let's start though, right? What do you think about this baseball shirt, dude?

It's kind of like your shoeless Joe Jackson or something. Oh yeah. It looks Matt Itchy for sure. Yeah, you know what? I bought this shirt a long time ago. Oh, it's so, oh my God. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Listen to this though.

Because what you're saying is totally valid. I haven't said it yet. If someone's listening, imagine what that was about. About the itchy. It looks and feels itchy, yeah. And that's totally valid, dude. I'm not here to take away from your experience, but what I am trying to say is,

I got this shirt years ago, and I got it with the thought, well, I always have to wear an undershirt. Yeah, of course. Because of the itchiness. Yeah, yeah. So what happened was today, for the first time, we recorded two episodes.

I had a different shirt on earlier for the other episode. Yeah. And I didn't have an undershirt. So I go, gonna have to tough it out. All right. Then I put it on and low and behold. Yes. It's not bad at all.

And I'm upset because I wish I knew that earlier. How long have you had it? Four years. Oh wow, okay, yeah. Well now you know, it's good to know then, even if it's late. That being said, I want everybody to know,

people are gonna think, oh, he changed his shirt but Matt didn't. If you look at the last episode and look at this episode, you can tell I did change my shirt. The previous white V-neck. Previously wearing a white V-neck. Previously on white V-neck. Previously wearing a white V-neck. Previously on white V-neck, it. Where's your?

Huh, this was ripped. From the makers of suits, white V-neck. This was ripped. Oh, okay. And this is not ripped. So now, if you don't believe me, guess what? Go back, see, see if I care. Not interesting.

See if I care, okay? Not interesting. Previously on white V-neck. Hey, look, with the one I wore. Anyway. Lately I feel like it's bright in here. Not interesting. This is why I put my sunglasses on.

Not interesting. Well it's explanatory. I wanted context, people have context for why I'm putting on my sunglasses while I'm inside. Yeah, well. They're coming out with a new suit, right? Okay, well that's not interesting. What's that mean, the show?

The show, yeah. It's so interesting now how shows come back only because sometimes after a show runs it just gets put on Netflix, then people start watching it, then the algorithm bumps it up, then it becomes like the number one show, and then suddenly everyone's like,

when is Suits coming back? We want it back, and it's like, dude, the show hasn't- The actor's like, we're dead! Yeah, the show wasn't even a hit when it was on. It was on USA for like eight years. Don't talk about me like that. And then suddenly it just goes to Netflix and becomes huge. And all the actors are like, wait, what?

That's like the greatest thing that could possibly happen for an actor. But it suits LA now. Because I don't know what city it came from, but it suits LA. It's got to be the same kind of No, Brian Greenberg's in it. Really? Yeah, that's cool. That's what they should do. They should make a whole new show I should be in it dude. Mm. Yeah, put me in a suit. Yeah, see what see what happens. Hey Hollywood

Put me in a suit. See what happens. Um, I dare you I fucking dare you hollywood throw a suit on me. See what happens Just see what just watch sit back relax and watch. All right, let's moonves Everything will be fine. Hey, let's moonves. All right. He still does it. No, I think he's dead Yeah, really? He's got to be 90 right? Well, he got me too and then oh, right dude Yeah, he was the most notorious dog in Hollywood history That's right. I forgot about that Yeah, he's not 90. Wait, how old is he? 75. He's so much younger than I thought he was.

Oh, he is, yeah. I mean, I would love to have like a long conversation with that guy. Oh, my God. The shit he's seen. I mean, he's just he's he's old enough to where he's like, well, and then we killed him. Oh, yeah. You know, the dude was 50, 60. On CB, head of CBS, he a change. Yeah in television history. He was the head of CBS from like the 70s Maybe all the way up to the late 2010s, I think Yeah, 2018 it says right sit down. Yeah

Wow Wow Crazy, I'm the man, huh? No. All right. Well, let's get to it. Yeah Guys named Leslie, you know Actually, it is a good name actually. This is serious. Oh my god. Well, I just got engaged. Yay Congratulations been together three years. That's Good time good time just now realizing Congrats. Good time, good timing.

Just now realizing he gets in on the wrong side of the shower, in my opinion, wanted to get your guys' opinion. Meaning? If you've got the shower head on one side. Oh shower. And you've just got like a standard old shower where it's like, you know, like tub shower head.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Curtain. Yeah. Or doors. We have doors. Do you get in on the left side where you're walking in towards the water or do you get in on the side that the water's coming down on?

Obviously the left side. Yeah, you don't get in with the water. You get in- If the shower head's on the right. Yeah. Who walks into the water under the water? That's really weird actually. It's a great question honestly.

Only a maniac. Undo. Should I give him the ring back? Go, yeah, go, yeah. Also, also. Go back in time and undo the engagement. It makes shit wet outside of the, because it's messy.

Yeah. Smashing up against you and it's getting, It's messy. Unless the toilet's in the way of the other one, you know, but even still it's like, yeah, that's weird. I don't know. Yeah. Des, give him his ring back.

That's a little overboard. And you don't have to explain. He'll know. He'll think, oh, she saw me get in the shower once. Yeah. She finally saw. Oh, no, he just, she gives it back and he says, you saw? Yeah, exactly. I don't, I don't. I don't imagine. Why would somebody go in that way? It doesn't make any sense. You just that you're. You started doing it that way when you.

You trust too much. To be like, the water is going to be fine. Well, I mean, he touches the water first, you know? You have to feel it kind of gradually on your whole body to make sure. Maybe that's part of it for him. Maybe it's like to really either wake me up. I gotta really just get jolted by this water.

What if it's too hot, then you die? Then you die, yeah. Then it's a chance he takes every morning. Oh, oh! Oh! Yeah, that's crazy. That's pretty wild. I mean, that's one of those things that can bother you,

but you'll never have to see it because I assume you guys don't shower together a lot unless maybe that's one of your kinks, who knows. But I'm just saying, it doesn't have to bother you that much because you don't have to see it. All right, let's do the next one. What can you get with BEDMGM? And no matter your team, your favorite skater or your style, there's something every NHL fan is going to love about BEDMGM. Download the app today and discover why BEDMGM is your hockey home for the season.

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please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. This is an ad from BetterHelp. This holiday season, do something for a special person in your life. You. Give yourself the gift of better mental health. BetterHelp online therapy connects you with a qualified therapist via phone, video, or live chat.

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and policies apply, details at fizz.ca. Chris and Matt, what's going on guys? Totally sick right now, so apologize for the, if my voice cracks, yes! Chris, I'm sorry to hear about Baldur's. We got my own little incel right here. He's only 17 weeks. Oh my God.

He works with me every single day. Pu sure well anyway. That's not that long I'm trying to figure out the best way to put this I killed someone bitch must it feel to run into one of your buddies somewhere like say you're on the road And you are flipping the guy off like this, but they don't see you this happened to me the other day That is I was driving and then all of a sudden out of my peripheral I saw a Car pull up next to me and it was a friend of mine He was just with me off and he I roll on roll my window like oh, haha And he looks at me and he goes dude. I've been flipping you off for five minutes

Yeah, I'm like dude how bitch must you feel to be like oh, huh? Yeah, oh, but I not see you it's like the same thing of if You go to high five somebody when everyone's all hyped up and everything and they don't see your high five and you're just left hanging. Well that's worse, but yeah. Like how bitch does that feel?

I'm curious to hear your guys' opinions. Thanks guys. What would be remarkable is if you, as he just did, give the finger like this, because that's not how anybody does it. Cause what it's not called is finger and thumb. People do do that. And I don't like it, dude.

I don't like how people do it like that and only give it a little bit. I like to do the full. It's meaner. It's more impactful. You're getting the whole finger. Not everybody can do that. I can't do that.

I know, that's true. If you can't do it, okay. Of course. I think if you can't do it, it's okay. No, no, you're, yeah. That's it. If you can't do it, you're a fucking loser, period. No, no, some people.

If you can't do it, you are a shithead. Some people purposely don't put it. This is the worst That's what I'm saying. Knuckles half up is the worst version. People do that though I look cool when I do it, but yeah, no, most people don't look cool when they do it I think that that yeah that bitch bitch pretty bitch. Yeah, I bet your friends a bitch Well, your friends a bitch for that. I wouldn't go that far. It just didn't nobody saw him, you know Well, I wouldn't go that far. It just didn't, nobody saw him, you know? Cuz you have to keep looking at the road too and just.

Yeah, also five minutes would be so crazy if he was doing it for five minutes. He definitely did this a few times. You know? That's. Woo woo woo woo woo. What are you pulling over her? You had your finger up for five minutes. Your middle finger, right?

You're down for that. Yeah, that's, yeah. I don't love the submissions that are like, how bitch is this thing? Me neither, but every now and then are okay. I got a ticket the other day. A ticket. For what?

Speedy? The lamest ticket you can get. Sound pollution? Tinted windows? No, no, no. I don't even think that's the lamest ticket you can get. Sound pollution? Tinted windows? Well, no, no, no. I don't even think that's the lamest one. The lamest one is I didn't stop long enough on not just a stop sign, a right turn. That sucks. I stopped, I slowed down, I looked and I went. Like, dude. You didn't stop for the full three seconds

and then behind the line? I'm making a right, bro. And there's nobody around? No. Yeah, that's crazy. It's not like a kid goes to hitting someone. It was so Dutch. Were you near a school?

Like your kid at the college school? No, I was right here. Oh, it was here? Yeah, it was last week. Oh, oh, I hate that. And the cop is like, license and registration. I was like, oh, it was last week. Oh. Oh, I hate that. And the cop is like licensed at registration. And I was like, aw, is he going to give me a ticket? Because last cop that pulled me over, he was like, oh my god,

are you Christalia? For real? Yeah. And he didn't give me a ticket. Oh my god, are you Christalia? Yeah, freeze. Oh my god, are you Christalia? Yeah.

Book them, boys. Anyway. Yeah. That's so annoying. Whatever. That's so annoying. Mm-hmm. Whatever. I have a question. The second thing you mentioned is the thing you buy.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm. What do you guys do for that? Oh, I know what I do. I have something. I do, I think I do the same thing every time. Go ahead. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Oh, really? Yeah. I make sure they see. I make a joke out of it like, how long, hey, dude, hey, hey, hey. Yeah. I make sure they see. I make a joke out of it like, how long, hey, dude, how long are you gonna make me, like, stay like this, come on. You realize how stupid I look? Anything else is bitch made, dude.

Anything else is, hey, hey, hey, dude, hey. You can't do that, yeah. Bitch made. Or you can just make a joke to everyone who's around be like, I guess I'm invisible Like if they're not paying attention, you know bitch, you know, no you're making fun of yourself. You're making a joke Hey, look not like that Do it to yourself smitch everything's bitch that would be pretty good actually I like that one. Yes jump That would be great. That would be good killing a fly. Uh

All right. Hey, I got my hand up dude. Hey, you're gonna give me five or what? Jump. That would be great. That would be good. Killing a fly. All right. Hey, I got my hand up dude. Hey, you're gonna give me five or what? Nice. Really confrontational. They're struggling so hard against you. I don't want to. What's up, Lifeline?

Starting the party. This is Brandon calling in from Perth, Western Australia. Chris, I saw you here earlier this year and got you to sign me LifeRips. Yep. That's I definitely signed that. Thanks for that. Um, my question is about people that have custom license plates on their car. I just think it's the weirdest thing.

And it's just like, why, why did you think that was necessary to get that? the ones that I hate the most is like it would be a Number a license plate that has something to do with the make or the model of that specific car that they're driving Like if it's a Tesla, there's always some kind of like play on words about like, you know, no gas or like, electric or not something to do with it being an electric car. It's just like, okay, we get it. We already knew that. So yeah, I don't know if that's just me being sick cock or no, you guys are on the same wavelength, but love to hear your take on it

and go to lifelinemerch.com and get your merch. Please send me some keyfie. I think that it really, really seriously depends on what car you have. I mean, if you have a BMW convertible, you can get one, because it's hilarious. Okay, yeah. And you're an idiot anyway, you know what I mean?

When you're making it funny in a certain kind of way, it's fine. If you have a very narrow pass. Pompadour. And a Z3. God, that was the worst car, wasn't it? Yeah, the Z3. Wasn't that the worst car that was ever made?

The Z3 Roadster. That's what it's called, Roadster, dude. That's so bad. Is there a worse- Even the name is terrible. Like, hey, BMW, you fucked up, dude. It's funny when car companies do that. Fucked up, and let me add this, that car sucks, dude. That's the worst car I have ever fucking seen.

100%. I mean I'd rather drive a PT Cruiser. You know what, I actually hate the Cybertrucks. That might be, PT Cruisers are bad too. Listen, Cybertrucks are awful but, God damn it dude, look at that fucking thing. This is a Z8. Z8 is what I meant to say then. What's worse? No, the Z3 is terrible. Oh, Z damn it dude, look at that fucking thing. This is a Z8. Z8 is what I meant to say then.

What's worse? No, the Z3 is terrible. Oh, Z3? Yeah. Okay, so here's a Z8. What's that? Z8. That's bad.

But look at the Z3, look at the Z3. Okay. I always said Z3, yeah. I didn't even know there was a Z8. I didn't know about the, that's horrible. Oh, look at the red one. That is just horrible, no. It's so much better with a hard top.

No, dude, if you have a convertible, man, if you're a guy in a convertible, you've been sucked off by another guy and that's fine, but don't pretend you haven't. Really? You think, I mean, really? It's like a gay thing, you think? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

It's not, it's a, I don't know, man. It's not a gay thing. I always like hardtops on convertibles. Oh, so much better, dude. Oh, you too? Yeah, so much better. Oh, so much, I don't even,

like I don't even get a convertible. Don't get one. That's what I mean. Instead of the open top, not, instead of soft top. Right, yes, yeah. Of course, instead of soft top. But there of soft top. Right, yes, yeah. Of course, instead of soft top. There is hard top convertibles,

which is way better than a soft top convertible. 100%. Yeah, the road source on the Bond movie, yeah, that's right, that's what I found out about it. Dude, I think that's the worst, and I don't know about handling or driving or anything, I'm just saying looking. That's the worst looking car I've ever seen in my life.

And I would rather drive a fucking PT Cruiser, I'd rather drive a Sc PT Cruiser. I'd rather drive a a Scion, a boxy one. Cyber truck? Yeah, yeah. To me a Scion is way better than all the cars we're talking about. Yeah. No, I There's no way look at that fucking. What's crazy about this is that it's really expensive. It is? Well at the time it was like a really it's in the fucking James Bond movie. Never liked it. Terrible car. I don't think it's really expensive. It is? Well at the time it was like a really, it's in the fucking James Bond movie. Never liked it.

I don't think it was that expensive. I don't think it was either. It was a luxury car that BMW made. I don't mean it's like a bank breaker, but this is like a rich person's car at the time. 100%. I just don't understand it. Yeah, it's nonsense.

So ugly. So dinky-like. I didn't know you thought it was ugly too, that's good. It's so dinky-looking. Yeah, it's no good. Oh, yeah. Well, we won't have any context Don't know how much cars were in 1997. All right What what did I call about? Vanity plates so if you have that you're already a dickhead

Go for it. If you if you have a Corvette, you're already a dickhead go for it if you if you have a Corvette you're already a dickhead go for it eat it eat you should get a Corvette yeah you know I'm saying be funny though if you yeah capable yes look my Porsche dude it's fucking duck shit goo shit you get it you get the fucking, I get a lot of spaces, ready to go. Okay, you see me in it. You know, I do my hair extra. You see me in it and you get it. You go, okay.

But if you put that shit on my white girl, on my fucking bloody guts? No, no, no. What's the bloody guts? Oh sorry, yeah. The birds see, the only people who see the interior are the birds because the windows are tinted and when the sun roof is open the birds can see it. Poetry? Yeah. Windows tinted on my rod with the drives in it. Windows tinted on my rods with the drives in it. Windows tinted on my rod with the drives in it. All right. Windows 10, I'm gonna ride one of the drives in it. What is it?

Windows 10, I'm gonna ride one of the drives in it. Windows 10, I'm gonna ride one of the drives in it. Yeah. What's happening here? Hold on, I'm checking the availability of- Oh bloody guts, I would get. See, yeah, oh there you go. Can you get goose shit, duck shit?

Well, that's obviously too long. Bloody guts is hilarious. That would be hilarious if I got that. You gotta use a Z though. If I got that, that would be hilarious and that would be cool. It can be requested. Fuck dude.

Right when I'm not gonna have my bloody guts anymore. Ah, fuck man. You could do duck, oh, you're not getting, you're getting, No, I'm getting a fucking RS6 and it's gonna be, oh, it's gonna be dog shit, dude. It's gonna be dog shit. Brown?

Dog shit, yeah. Brown on brown? Oh dude, it's gonna be. What kind of car? Chocolate, chocolate. It's gonna be Denzel on Morgan Freeman. Dude, it is going to be so dope, man. It is all brown.

All brown. It's an Audi. All brown. Say the kind of car again. R6, all brown, dude. Look it up. The wagon with the fucking shoes are going to be black. Dude, it's basically Denzel.

It's not that. That's the bullshit brown color. I got to paint a custom. Dude, it's not that one either. You know what? You've never seen it before. I drive by and you go, I've never seen that shit before. brown color I got to paint to custom dude it's it's not that one either you know what you never seen it before I drive by and you go I never seen that shit before and it is Denzel on Morgan Freeman with the black boots oh it's nice bro can you get the license plate that says Denzel with Morgan Freeman in the black

boots this is 30 characters it's like a British one. It's the Audi? Oh, now he's looking at- Bro, the Audi RS6, bro? With the fat back? Forget it, dude. You're yelling. The fat back? Oh, shit. Yo, you know what it is?

You know what it is? No. What? It's not even, it's Trina. It's a fat ass. I realize it's not Denzel Morgan for me. Look up a black lady with a fat ass, dude. Oh, shit.

Let's take the black lady. Holy shit, dude. You can get Denzel seven. What's the seven? Let's take the black lady. I think you probably just can't get Denzel. I have a white girl. What's the seven?

Let's take the black lady. I don't know what anyone's talking about right now, dude. Why did you add a seven to Denzel? That's the only one that's available. You can't just get Denzel. Oh. Why did you add a seven to Denzel? That's the only one that's available. Just because I figured Denzel is. You can't just get Denzel. You get Denzel. He says Denzel.

That'd be great. You see it's Chris T'Lea driving. So one's taken. The fuck? Two is available. It's not Denzel Washington. Uh. That's, Denzel, Denzel two is great. Yeah. Yo.

Come mid July when I'm screwing around, just doing donuts in that fucking. You're such a dastard. Let's do another one, dude. In the fucking angry bank teller, dude. What? What the fuck is going on? I think he finally lost me.

In the fucking angry DMV employee. Dude, I am going to be fucking just zero to 60 in three seconds in the angry DMV employee. in the angry DMV employee. Angry DMV. Angry, yeah. Angry, yeah. There you go. That'll be, that's that's that's available.

Is that available? Yeah. Well, of course it is. That's stupid though. Angry is not good. It looks like it's actually. Don't. Yep. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Just real quick before we jump, it's gonna be so tinted. Jump in again. What? In the last five minutes,

about 30 seconds worth have been things that you're saying that make sense. The rest have been just blurting out phrases and words and names. Dude. You know that? Yeah. Okay.

We're good. They mean something. And when I have the black boots on it, it's gonna be fucking sick sick in the city in your mind They make sense. Yes, and The shoes are black boots with the red laces. They The fucking brake pads are gonna be red. Oh I thought you said the brake pads are gonna be brown as well. No dad doesn't matter. Let's keep going

That couldn't matter less. Let's go. Oh, shit, dude. Hey, Chris and Matt. Love the podcast. Thank you. You stay home, and I listen every Sunday. You guys make me laugh and keep me sane. So thank you so much for the content.

Hell, yeah. My question is regarding friendships. So ever since I gave birth to my daughter, my friends have really distanced themselves from me. I don't like that. Haven't made really much of an effort to come see her or me, especially early postpartum, which was really tough. And in the past, before I had a daughter, I felt like I wasn't met with like, you know,

the same effort that I gave to my friends. I would drive hours to go see them, things like that. And I had talked to them about it. And I was just kind of met with, oh, you know, we'll be better about it. And then nothing really changed. So what would your advice be regarding this situation? I just really want genuine friends that care about me and care about my daughter.

I don't really want to go to the bars anymore. I don't, you know, I want people that want to see me and that I'm not just, you know, the only person making the effort in the friendship. So any advice would be helpful. Should I let them know how I'm feeling again? Should I just let it dwindle out? Again. Thanks.

Again. I mean, I think that the way, Again, I mean I she said it I think that the way I Don't think that you have Good friends and I think that It's not so much that they're not mature But it sounds like you've matured at a faster rate than they have and maybe the fact that you have a kid It could be a number of things. It could be them facing their own version of mortality and they're just like,

well, I don't wanna think about that in my own context. I don't have kids yet. I don't wanna put my mind there and being around her and her daughter makes me think about that. What I'm saying is it could be not exactly about you. It could be them not, it's not necessarily them being like,

well, I don't wanna hang out with her. It could be a whole like epic mental thing for them that keeps them at more of an arm's length than they were before. But that being said, it sounds like you probably wanna get yourself around potentially, potential new friends who might replace the ones that you currently consider your friends.

New moms seem like a very, very possible group. Yeah, yeah. And also- More like-minded people, I guess is what I'm saying. If you're friends of people who wanna go to bars, you're a new mom and our stay-at-home mom and you wanna be living the life you're living now, like, it's just, there's not a lot of,

but even that, I mean, people who wanna be friends stay friends. So it just sounds like your friends, unfortunately, kinda suck. I just feel like women are not, some women are just, they don't, they hate each other. And there's a certain type of woman that does that. They don't all do it.

I joke around about how they all do, but like, it's just, maybe they're just jealous, dude. Maybe they're just jealous. I don't know enough about the contacts, but yeah, you just, they already showed you. They already showed you that they don't wanna be your friend. It's already been shown and you've brought it up. So you've got your, congratulations,

you've got a new best friend. It's your daughter and it's way more fulfilling. And fuck them, dude. If they're not, I mean, you know, we don't know the whole story. I mean, she could be literally a crazy person who knows but sure, you know I'm saying she seems like a very sweet woman. So yeah enough is enough dude. They don't get it. Yeah Okay

Frozen hey guys, Daly here again. I submitted a video before about sleep paralysis. I don't know if you guys remember that Oh, yeah. Anyways, today my video is about some toothbrush and gripes that me and my girlfriend have towards each other. So she doesn't like it that I put the toothpaste directly into my mouth before I brush my teeth instead of putting it on Toothpaste, but like whatever who cares. But my choice is her is that she likes to wander when she brushes her teeth And she's got an electric toothbrush, so she's just walking around the house. Oh Yeah brushes her teeth and she's got an electric toothbrush so she's just walking around the house all yeah all like she brushes her teeth four times a day because she has a busy line and it drives me insane dude it's like walking around buzzing all the time um but yeah so whose crime is more heinous

you know because she uses every single second of that two minute timer on that toothbrush dude sometimes she goes extra just for fun uh but yeah and matt you come across as the older brother for fun. But yeah, and Matt, you come across as the older brother. Anyways, thanks, guys. Really? Yeah. I think that what you do is disgusting and very strange. But I think what she does is way, way more annoying. What you do is just like, oh, why do you do that? Don't do that. I don't want to see that.

What she does is just like, oh, why do you do that? Don't do that, I don't wanna see that. What she does is like, annoying as fuck from minutes on end multiple times a day. Why? Why to what? But what's the point? Describe it. Well, only because you weren't listening, right? Yeah.

Okay. But I said why and then you made me say I wasn't listening. Because I wanted to be clear though. Why could it meant a number of things? What you really mean is just to re-explain it. He puts the toothpaste directly in his mouth before he brushes. He doesn't put it on his toothbrush.

And he's not listening again, folks. He's literally looking at his phone. I got a text and it was weird. And I got it. Here's what, here's the annoying thing. I already know what it is. I might as well just say it because I got a text. Hit me back when you have a second.

I don't like those texts. They drive me fucking nuts. OK? So what I did was I said, about what? I'm podcasting. And then he wrote me, what about? Which is erroneous. You mean immaterial, not important?

Yeah. And it's like, not important? Yeah, it does, it does. And it's like, just text that. Yeah, though I couldn't agree more, yeah. So anyway, okay, go ahead. He puts the toothpaste directly in his mouth and then puts his toothbrush in and uses his toothbrush. She walks around with a loud electric toothbrush four times a day.

Who's more at fault? What she's doing has nothing. Sorry. No, you can, I don't mind you piping in. What he does is unforgivable. What he does is unforgivable. It's more disgusting, but it's more annoying what she does is what I was saying.

I guess so, technically, because you don't have to see him do that, but that's what he does is unforgivable. And now that I know that, it's annoying. So he should have kept you close to it. The truth is that you can't, if you're, you, the guy, Dylan, I think your name is. Dylan!

You're fucking unacceptable. You gotta change your behavior. Yeah, that's not okay, man. We don't do this on Earth. On planet Earth, we don't do that. Disgusting, I never heard, have you ever heard of that? I've never heard of that. No, I'm just saying.

You're a disgrace. You're a disgusting disgrace to humanity. You must stop. Okay. Humanity relies on you. That being said. A fucking what's-her-name character. What's her name?

I don't know. From the beach. Tilda Swinton? Yep. What, so weird to reference that movie to refer to. I know, because it's not the movie she would even do it in. Now, she's more annoying. What she does is more annoying. What you do is the most disgusting. Technically, because of the sound of it.

Yeah, because it lasts longer and it's more frequent. But also, that's not that annoying, a little bleh. It's not that annoying, is it? Four times a day, every day. If they live in an apartment? Yeah maybe. Probably annoying. Anyway what were you gonna say? What were you gonna say? Why is he talking about what she's doing at all is what I was gonna say. Because the question is whose toothbrush related offense is worse was his question.

That's the question? Walking around while brushing your teeth is not. No, but it's the electric sound, fuck! It's not even that loud. How do you know? He's saying it is! Matt's right though in the fact that if you're walking around with the sound, it's technically more annoying than if you're just in the bathroom. I mean, if he's walking around, if he's walking around like this... Yeah, that's disgusting. Then you need your head off. Of course.

But no one on Earth would do that. You don't deserve a head. But yeah, that's, yeah. So I guess technically hers, but it really pains me to say it because what you do is simply disgusting and wrong for humanity. Correct. That's just correct, yeah.

Next one. Disgusting. Hey, Matt and Chris. I'm Kylie, big fan. I just have something to say from your We Need a Beaver episode. No clue. The submission where the guy was talking about

being at the bar and the girl did this to him. I just wanted to say I agree with Chris' opinion on this. I think that guys are more used to being rejected and women maybe not so much. So I feel like it would really catch a girl off guard if she was feeling confident and said this and he just like stayed where he was. Like to Matt's point, whether or not that's healthy, um, it probably isn't,

but I just feel like if anything, at the very least it's going to make it so that's in her head, she's going to be like, why, why isn't he coming over to me? He saw me. Like if anything, like it's going to make her think about him more. I don't know. I just feel like maybe it's just like some weird psychology, like it's going to make her think about him more. I don't know. I just feel like maybe it's just like some weird psychology thing and it's probably not the most healthy, but I feel like.

You want to slip in it? It would work on women because they would just be like, why, be thinking about this man. Like, why is he rejecting me? Like whatever. I think like it might make it so he might, he even have more of a chance. So that's my opinion.

I don't know. I just feel like I wanted to back Chris up on this one. So thanks guys. Of course you do. Cause you have a fucked up brain. Get your fucking umbrellas. When you say, I feel like women would be more likely to that, that, that what you mean is you

and your own fucked up brain would be more likely to. That doesn't mean all women, just so you know. The fucking tape. So you guys would be a perfect match for each other. To get the fucking, what's that, the yellow squeegee thing that that weird guy fucking hawks on the infomercial. What's that thing? I don't know.

The Shamwell. Shamwell, get the fucking Shamwell. Everyone get your Shamwells ready. I'm going to stay put. Shamwell, the name, you know, dude product product so So Yeah, I I have an update I have an update on what I Was walking

With my son, Calvin, and an older man, and by that I mean older than me, says, Chris D'Elia. And I look at him and he goes like this. Uh oh. And I think of my thing. Of course. I don't go to you.

You come to me. But then I assess a little bit more. And I go, I'm already walking. He's sitting down. He's older. I kind of recognize him. So I might know him. Yeah. And the face he does makes me think he knows me. So I go, all right, I'm gonna break my rule. I mean, it'd be so crazy to turn around and walk the other way. No, I wouldn't. I would just stay put and go like. OK, with my son, so you didn't do that.

No. And I walk over and as I walk over, I realize I know the guy and he goes, hey, it's who he says he is. And then I say, oh, yeah, what's up, man? He said, you know, I'm your dad's friend. And I'm like, oh no, I know, yeah, I remember. I saw you in Ohio, remember? I saw him in Ohio, he came to the show. But I was like, okay. So, but that's the update.

I think never do this. Unless you're that guy and it's Chris and you can saw him in Ohio. Unless you know the person, unless you know the person. Yeah. Yeah. That's, yeah. There's stuff that humans do that I just,

I go, that's not okay. Well, no one really does this, frankly. It's rare. Women do that to men all the time at bars and shit. Bro, you're out of your mind? Women doing this to men at bars is rare. How many movies you've seen? You ever left the house?

It's happened to me though, but maybe because, you know. No, it's happened to me more than it's happened to you. No, it's happened to me so much more than you do. My shit is, I have to bring a chamois out of places. Because I'm worried that happens, people are just going to slip and fucking break the shit out of their body. I literally am insanely winded after I leave the house, because every woman I see is going like this. And I go to them, and even if I go slow slow it's a lot of distance when I go out I bring a surfboard so stupid surfboard so stupid sir I bring a surfboard and I

know when I go out I bring a lifeguard I hire a lifeguard I don't hire some more gets someone gets I don't hide security I hide a lifeguard because when women see me they get wet and then people drown. Sorry about my mustache. It's too stringy. From last episode? You can see my skin too much through the mustache. I should shave it. Anyway, let's keep going. Where's my surfboard? What's going on guys? long time fan here from Alabama?

Chris I was able to see you several weeks back in Montgomery Montgomery you and Daniel of absolutely hilarious I was so excited. I mean, I know it wasn't the biggest show you ever played but no I was very excited to come see you absolutely made my year Oh, yeah, I was really excited to see nice coming south enough for me to come watch. Oh good That I'm really excited about all the stuff you have coming out on Patreon. Oh yeah. Just a big, big fan of both of you guys. Cool man.

Got a question for you. I'm a gigging musician. Yeah. And I need a little bit of advice on like a spin move for people who come up and want to play instruments. Me and my band get it all the time. People who want to come sing a song or they want to play the guitar or the piano or the drums or whatever. They want to come join us. That's one of play the guitar piano or the drums wherever they want to come I join us. That's one of those things. That's just kind of not cool

I don't want to be me and yeah harsh people's vibe all people to enjoy the show, but you know Spin move on how to get them from not doing that. That's cool. Thanks guys What's that you want my guitar sure when I'm done fucking your wife, let me know That's what a bummer. I just are wanna play with my guitar? Sure. When I'm done fucking your wife. Let me know. That sucks, man. What a bummer. I just... Oh, you're gonna use my shit? Ah, yeah, yeah, let me know when your wife turns around. That's fucking... You wanna use my guitar? Cool. Let me know when your wife turns around. That's crazy, dude. That's fucking nuts yeah. The shit that humans do, there

are some shit that humans do that they just, it should just be God or whoever should just you know the law you know there should be a law. There should be there's law and then there should be social law, where you don't go to jail, but you get just like, something happens, I don't know what it would be, but you don't eat the next meal or something. Who? An owl. Adjudicates, adjudicates that.

Me, I'll do it. Just you? And I'll kill it, dude. You see every, you're the judge for every case? No, I'd have to have a committee. You'd have no time to do anything. Well, it's a state run thing, so it's not like I'm fucking doing 7 billion people,

but I'm doing however many people are in California. Okay. Or you can do it by county, I don't know. Right. Or home. All people in California take just, you'd have no time to rest. No, no, they're just such assholes, yeah.

Yeah, it'd be nuts, yeah. But yeah, dude, I mean, what do you say? And you didn't wave at you when you opened the door? It's actually a good- You're not eating lunch. It's a good question. What do you... Obviously it's a no-no, but what do you do? What's that?

How's your wife's pussy? Your watch, you know. Your watch? It's good? Yeah, alright, okay, cool. Yeah, you can take the drums. Let me know when your wife turns around. Wow. God, some people just have no idea about anything. It sucks, dude.

It sucks. Why bother you know? You can't play and if you can get a band. You get your own band. You do get a band. You start a band. Get your own band become good enough to play the gig that this guy's playing right now then guess what you can play the instrument on that stage. Until that happens You can play the instrument on that stage. Until that happens, you cannot play that instrument on that stage because that guy is playing that instrument on that stage.

What if he said that whole thing? Yeah, while playing. Get your own band. All right, yeah, that's crazy. I don't know, man. I mean, just like, that's so shitty. It's hard, though, because when you're on the spot, you know you're in front of everybody.

You don't want to, like, obviously make a scene and piss someone off. So you have a rule. Yeah. Yeah, that's sorry. We have a rule. Do it while smiling. Yeah, that's true.

Venue policy even. Or you can just, oh, venue policy's good. Yeah. Just lay it on the fucking, yeah. Yeah, do that. I would do that. You could do, yeah, yeah. I mean, I would, what do you, I don't know, man.

I would just, I mean, for me, I would just say, what, are you crazy? That's me. I would for sure do that. Oh, you're a crazy person. Yeah, but yeah. I can't do that though. All right.

Hey, Matt, hey, Chris, long time fan of this and congrats. I have some advice that I need on a friend who is always flexing. So he makes a normal amount of money. The same as me or any other guys in our group. He also, he just bought a townhouse, so he owns a normal amount of money, like the same as me or any other guys in our group. He also, he just bought a townhouse, so he owns a home. And he won't stop bringing it up. So whether it's like a big group with like girls in around, or if it's just a one-on-one conversation,

he always has to bring up how much he makes, how much he has, or the house they own. And he's the cheapest bastard in the world. Oh, what? Well, that's weird. So let me know what's a good way that I can deal with this and pretty much just tell him to shut up, but nicely. Well, then just say, Thanks guys. Oh cool, then pay for dinner next time.

And if he's cheap, he won't do it. And I'll stop saying it. Train him. Cesar Milan on it. It's like, dude, oh yeah. When everybody brings up a house, be like, well townhouse, but yeah. My house, whenever he brings up a house, be like, well, townhouse, but yeah. My house, because I just bought a house,

well, townhouse, but yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I make this much money, so do I. Next time you pay for dinner then, huh? I was being like you, I wasn't really listening that well to that guy. Okay, but what he was saying was, so he fake laughed at me then? No, I heard the part about the house.

He said a guy's always flexing. Me, not like this, but like, you know, he's like. I heard up until the buying the house. He brags about how he has a home. Yeah. How he has a home and how he makes money. And they all make the same amount of money in the fraying group.

And it's just like, he's annoying. Except him. No, they all make the same amount of money. Even him. He's like, we all make the same amount of money. Even him. He's like, we all make the same amount of money. He just talks about it. Just, be like what? Around girls, he'll be like, you know,

brag and talk about how he has a house. Huh. Yeah, that's tough, I don't know. Who cares? Who cares what? That he does it, I guess. I would be annoyed. What would you do?

Exactly what I said. Yeah, townhouse, but yeah. Ah, pay for dinner then. We make the same money, but yeah, sure. But he's gonna laugh though, and so like, it's not gonna be a signal for him to stop. This guy wants him to stop. You always say that around chicks, huh? Hey, trying to get laid? Both have to make the same money. He lives in a townhouse. All good.

Sweetie, what are you doing later? Who are you talking to in that situation? the girl is trying to impress sweetie what are you doing later people are weird huh I just it's a reeks in security do that could you imagine reeks in security sweetie what you doing later I mean imagine that guy doing that he's so nice and shit you know? Yeah, he does look nice. Seems nice guy. He looks like genuine a little bit. He seems nice guy for sure.

Jump on it. Let's do it. Ride it, my pony. That saddle waiting. I'm horny. You know he says that? Yeah, of course. I did not know that until way too late.

That song is genuinenly hilarious and great. Oh, it's great. It's such a good song and so funny, dude. I'm horny. Let's do it. R&B is so funny, dude. I always say it's the most best music and the worst music.

Direct sexual shit ever. What's that one song I talk about all the time? Why can't I think of the name? Oh, I've I think of the name? A little poke coming through on you. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah just next, isn't it? Too close? Too close. Too close, that's what it is. God, that song. That's such a ridiculous song, dude. Yeah, it sure is.

Too close. Girl, you know I can't help it. Can't help it, I don't tell her. I'll read them here. I'm making it hard for you. I wonder if she, literally it opens like this. I wonder if she could tell I'm hard right now. Hmm, yeah, come on dance for me

Baby, ha ha. Yeah worse lyrics. Oh, you feel that? Oh my god. Come on. Don't stop now. You done did it. Come on Yeah, alright. Hold on baby when we're grinding. That's right. I get so excited. Mm-hmm Oh how I like it. Ooh, I try but I can't fight it. Yeah. Oh, you're dancing real close. Uh-huh. Plus it's real, real slow. You know what you're doing, don't you? You're making it hard for me. Uh. Oh, the slow songs on you requested.

You're dancing like you're naked. Ooh, it's almost like we're sexing. Oh yeah. Yeah, boo, I like it. No, I can't deny it, but I know you can tell. I'm excited. Oh girl step back You're dancing kind of close. Mm-hmm Poke coming through on you Now this is great. It's kind of close passive aggressive now girl. I know you felt it scroll down

Now girl, I know you felt it boo, you know, I can't help it. You know what I wanna do. Geez, dude. He's just talking about his hard dick. Yeah. It's so funny. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Gross. So gross.

Hey guy, hey guy, hey man, the party's over. Dude, go home. It's called too close. I know you can't help it. Hey buddy, go home. But what about the poke coming through? Go home. Show's over, night's over.

I'm calling you an Uber. And then there's also... Oh, fuck man, you know I have some songs. Just fucking take you back, bro. Yeah, that one is a big one for me. Black Street, No Diggity. No Diggity would be one for me. Wow. back, bro. Yeah, that one is a big one for me. Black Street, No Diggity would be one for me. Wow. Sure, yeah.

Giving you it, gasses, in the middle of work, with my middle of work scent. I feel like we talked about this early on in Lifeline. Early, early, yeah. The first seven episodes. Yeah, I think so, that's funny. That beat goes hard though. Blung, da, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. This is a good song. Yeah, yeah. Play on That's funny. That beat goes hard though. Blung-dung-dung-dung-dung-dung.

This is a good song. Yeah, yeah. Play on playette, you know? Play on playette, dude. Like our Uncle Vinny would say it. Playette, wow. I mean, made it up for this song, you know? Play on playette.

Black Street, how about when they did the beat with the I Ain't Mad At Ya, Tupac, they used that. To this? Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, you know that one? Dun, dun, not to this. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, don't leave me now, something. Fuck, that rings a bell, but what?

Yeah, don't leave me now, I don't know what the fuck it is, but anyway. All these lyrics, no diggity. Where is the eargasms part? Giving him eargasms with my mellow accent. It's at the end. It's Dr. Dre. It's eargasms.

I thought it was in the beginning. But I thought he said egasms. Oh yeah, it is the beginning, you're right. I thought he said itgasms. It is that. He says eargasms, right? Yeah, I thought he said itgasms. Yeah, I thought that too. The same? Yeahes. He says eargasms, right? Yeah, I thought he said it gazzums. Yeah, I thought that too.

The same? Yeah, but he says eargasms. Yes. Imagine your ears come. Oh my God, I would not go anywhere. I would just chill. And make your ears come all day. And just every day just.

Yeah. Just fucking pulling my tongue. Makes you think of that book, The Terminal Man by Michael Crichton. There's a part where a guy and he's being tested on and they figure out a way to hook electrodes to his brain to make him come just when he hits a button and he lost his mind cuz all he did was he kept hitting the button. It's like that guy who, remember that news segment where the guy kept on busting? Oh yeah. Oh my god, that's, wow.

That's so interesting, wow. He just like kneeled down at funerals, he just got jizz in his pants. He's gotta wear condoms all the time. Condoms. Come on, put a condom on. Getting his global entry card, you know. Just like, take it. Okay, stand still, gotta take a pic.

He's like, brrrr. Global entry. Brrrr. Then we go to Canada, everyone sees us like this. Brrrr. Oh, you that guy who can't stop coming? Yeah. All right, good, sign here.

Wow. What a life, huh? Ah, yeah. Okay, I'll be in Santa Rosa in Stockton, in Tacoma, in Spokane. Go to chrisley.com, get tickets. Thank you. Thanks everybody.