Lifeline - 146. Get Shaped

Episode Date: February 2, 2025

LIFELINE ✨LUXURY✨ is available at patreon.com/lifelineluxury. Extra episodes every month, no advice, all for $5. Our Patreon is also the exclusive home to all the live podcasts which we film and upload! Places you can support for LA Wildfire relief: Project Hope: https://www.projecthope.org SUAY Free Store for Fire Relief: https://suayla.com/pages/suay-fire-relief-free-store 🤳 Want to submit to Lifeline? Go here: forms.gle/EYbqjvyy1A9r728Y9 🎧 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: apple.co/3NG2G2G 🔊 Subscribe on Spotify: spoti.fi/3NPUwoT 🔗 All our links: linktr.ee/watchlifeline TODAY we are figuring out how to tell people not to touch your baby, taking GLP-1s, what to do about a fear of balloons, and how to handle a mom who creates elaborate lies to avoid hanging out. 💚 Lifeline is the first podcast about you, hosted by Matt D'Elia & Chris D'Elia. More Matt D'Elia: Sign up FOR FREE For Matt's Patreon for all episodes of The Private Record and upcoming drops of Matt D'Elia is Confused Book 20 or 40 min one-on-one sessions with Matt at mattdelia.com. More Chris D'Elia: Congratulations podcast: congratulationspod.com Live on tour: chrisdelia.com/tour More LIFELINE: Instagram: instagram.com/watchlifeline Tiktok: tiktok.com/@watchlifeline Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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I'll put it, I'll take it off. No, keep it on if you want it. I mean, it would be great for sound because it's blocking your mouth so that's cool. Well don't say that. Okay. We're here in you know beautiful California and it is lifeline episode 146. Beautiful once again after those fires, ooh, finally calm down. Scary times, you know what I'm saying? But as Chris is about to say, happy birthday. Happy birthday, Shakira and Britney Spiner. Who's that? Is that the basketball? Brent Spiner.

Oh, that's hilarious, Britney Spiner. Who's the basketball girl? You know who Brent Spiner is? No. The guy out to sea that sang, Oh Yeah Come On Mom. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, he's funny in that. The Star Wars to sea that saying, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's funny in that. So the Star Wars guy.

Yes. Yes. Wait, who's Brittany Griner? That's what it is, right? That's the guy that plays basketball. She's a woman. And she was in Russia for having a little bit of that sticky icky icky icky. She's green. She's a woman. Yeah. Well, I know. I know she's a woman, but I'm just saying. Green alert, green alert, green alert.

OK, so happy birthday to them. Oh, yeah, dude. I'll be in Tacoma, Washington. Hi. I'll be in Spokane, Washington. I'll be in Peoria, Illinois. Dubuque, Appleton, Wisconsin just got added. So did Ontario, California. I'm a Rillo Lubbock, Portland, Portland, Portland, Portland. You know, what just got added, you said? Appleton, Wisconsin, Portland, you know, a bunch of stuff. What's this guy that you said?

Appleton, Wisconsin. Nice, dude, you're going to Wisconsin? Yeah, so go to chrislea.com, I got my show, Cheyenne, Wyoming, and New York, New York, New York, New York. Hey! But there's a bunch of different dates, so go check at chrislea.com, and that is that. He's on tour, you don't wanna miss it.

If he's in your area, you're going to want to get a ticket. You might even want to get more tickets to bring your friends, to bring your family, to bring your loved ones. Such an over explanation. To bring your pets, to bring anyone. Can't bring pets. Bring your grandmother who knows how much longer she'll be around. Don't bring her.

Make her laugh. Make her go see Chris. Now, that being said. Wait, the Lifeline Luxury, that's the thing that you should watch is we have two live episodes now on our Patreon, patreon.com slash Lifeline Luxury. Go check it out.

It is, the show thrives live, and you can only catch that on our Patreon, so go check it out. And just in general, you know, that show, it is so lit. It is so on and popping, and it is so off the chain that everyone should subscribe to it. I wanna say something to you. Go ahead.

It sounds like you're talking into a pillow. I don't know if you care or not. On the audio it's gonna be bad. Well, here's the deal. Right, well that's what I'm saying. Okay, well let's finish the intro part and we'll get into that. So what you're also gonna wanna do,

Matt D'Elia is confused, 2.0 is coming at you real soon. YouTube's trying to get us down. They're trying to you real soon. YouTube's trying to get us down. They're trying to snipe us. They're trying to pull us down. They're trying to hide us. Always ripping our content down. Make sure you're signed up for my Patreon at patreon.com slash Matt Delia.

You'll never miss a live stream. You'll never miss anything, quite frankly, no matter what YouTube does to my content. I'm fighting back. I'm the little guy and I'm fighting back. Nice. Yeah, so make sure you're signed up. Now, while it's still free,

right now it's free, not gonna be free much longer. Make sure you get in there while it's free. We've got about a thousand subscribers. We wanna keep that baby pumping. Pump, pump, pump it up. And then of course you wanna get the merch. You wanna get the merch, you wanna get the Lifeline merch, go to lifelinemerch.com.

Now. So why are you doing the thing with the thing? I'll tell you. I was at Sundance. I'm really famous, just whatever. It's just one of those things. Really? And so I went and everyone was like,

ah, and they were running after me. Luckily it was ice everywhere, so they would slip and they wouldn't catch up to me. You wouldn't though? Well, no, I was, I came prepared. I had the right shoes. Okay. Boots. And so I had this in my bag,

but when I take it off, you'll realize why I have it on here. Okay. Cuts, cuts, cuts, cuts, got in a fight with a cat. Oh, wow. Cuts, cuts. Let me see it. Cuts in the nose, cut. Let me see.

Look at me straight on. Oh, wow. Jesus. A. Cuts in the nose, cut. Let me see. Look at me straight on. Oh wow. Jesus. A lot of cuts. And do you have the central area of my face? Do you have the... The cat's number? Yeah.

No, no, no. Do you have the... The stuff in it too? The breathing stuff? Oh, well. So you basically just root off big ass red nose. Eh? So gross.

Oh, that's way better. Et voila. Et voila. But that's way better. In what way? It looks way better when you take those things out. I'm less ugly? Yes. I's way better. But that's way better. In what way? It looks way better. I'm less ugly? Yes. I'm never ugly. Okay, you know. I'm never ugly. Well, you can be less ugly, though. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something for real. And maybe you can square this hole for me, because I'll never, I've never understood. Is this a real thing? Okay. Yeah, it is a real thing.

I get recognized a lot. OK. Obviously, I'm not talking your level, but just from this podcast is what I'm talking about. OK, that's great. I get recognized a lot. People, oftentimes, I'll get to know someone, and then the next day or two later, they'll text me,

and they'll say, dude, you're on that podcast Lifeline? And I'll be like, yeah. And they'll be like, dude, I didn't know. I'm sorry. Like my buddy like loves your show. I was talking about you and they mentioned it. And I'm, things like that happen all the time increasingly. Now the question is, how does that happen?

Why, because that happened so much, why don't we have a gajillion, bajillion views Oh, oh, oh. All the time, every episode. You know, I don't know. I think it's just the awareness about the show. I think the clips get out there and I think that, you know, this podcast has now been up for a year or two, almost,

and whatever it is, three years. And no, not three years, over two years. It's been seven years. And I think that people are just like they haven't seen certain episodes, but they've seen certain episodes. You know what I'm saying? They've seen the bigger bits that pop off.

You know, I think that's what happens with podcasting. Yeah, it is kind of weird though. This podcast should be bigger. But it's fine. We have our niche following. And they love it. They it's fine. We have our niche following and that's, they love it. They love it too. Y'all who watch every week, which are most of you,

are pimping, pimping, bowed it, bowed it, ba-ba-ba-ba, nonstop, all night long, grooving and moving, okay? It's like, you know what it's like? You have a, uh, ebonics thesaurus that you work on. Because you say something and you try to think of all the other things that are also meant for that same.

But it's like a book. It's like you're writing a thesaurus and you're testing your real time in real time. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Or you're, or you're coming up with, oh, these are the ones I'm gonna use today. Right. And you come out and you use it, and you're pimping, pimping is gonna be one, you know. All right, yeah. I was like, I can say pimping, pimping, and I got it. That's also like, oh, good baby, baby,

so I'm gonna say that, you know. Let me talk to you for a second. So anyway, we are here in Lifeline, and I should say, you know, that because I put a little thing out on Instagram, but, and I was, just because it happened yesterday, but my friend Ken Flores passed away. Oh man.

Was a fantastic guy and a great comedian. And he was only like four years in and the guy was just so good. Really, really, really was a legend in the making. I saw somebody say about him and it just is so true. He was going to do a big tour with like these two other comics. And, you know, I brought him on the road sometimes and we were going to work together a few. It's just it's just all really tragic and sad.

And he was such a great guy and and a and a really just a positive dude to be around, you know, I love to be in around that dude. And he was really funny, man. And he's, you know, gone way too soon, 28 years old. He was 28? Yeah. Yeah. You know how Chris is, well, I can tell you for sure

how Chris is telling the truth and not just blowing smoke. He was texting the Lifeline text thread about this last night and saying the exact same thing. Oh, yeah. So he really cared about this guy. I was unfamiliar, but any story, talented or not, you go away at that age. I just, I don't know if it's because

I'm a little older myself. No, man, I'm really young, but like just because how time works, I'm getting older technically, even though I'm still really young. And it just affects me differently now. When I hear about someone dying so young, it's just too upsetting.

Yeah, it is weird too when it comes to, for me in like the business, it's weird even, because I'm now like a veteran, like which is crazy to me. And so when people who are coming up pass away, it's like, what? It's just weird. And then also, you know, I used to look at it as like,

oh, that's one of the guy, like that's a colleague or whatever, but now a lot of times it's like, oh, that could be my son. It's a kid, yeah. You know, and it's just, it's anyway, it's tragic always when it happens. And it's just, this was particularly close to home for me because he was a friend of mine.

So go check out his stuff anyway. It's really, he's really funny, Ken Flores, you know. So are you saying Ken or Kent? Ken. Ken. Ken Flores, yeah are you saying Ken or Kent? Ken. Ken, Ken Flores, yeah. Yeah, and go check out his stuff because it's funny and it should get seen. But yeah, rest in peace.

And to his family and friends and all that, keep your head up. Stay strong. Yeah. Don't mean to break it down, but I did wanna say that. No, you gotta address it. Gotta address it. Got to address it. Does it look really stupid on my head like this?

Not really. I mean, it looks. Let's do it just to look stupid. OK, but it's not like, whoa. Black Rob, the thing, negative Black Rob. The thing, what I think is going to happen, this is my prediction. Chris is going to think it looks the dumbest,

but I want to do a whole scale. What do you think? Chris, producer Chris. Can I say one thing think it looks the dumbest, but I wanna do a whole scale. What do you think Chris produced? Can I say one thing before he even goes? Sure, yeah. It looks way stupider on camera actually. Is that right? Yeah. Oh yeah. And why do you think that is?

Cause I have- I don't know. Maybe it's cause you're next to someone who doesn't have it on. That, that, that, that looks terrible. This looks just kind of stupid. Maybe it's the angle. Maybe it's the angle. Look, look that way, look that way. No, no, angle. Maybe it's the angle. Look that way.

Look that way. Like look that way. Yeah, maybe it looks stupid with the earring. It's a lot. That does look stupid. I honestly hate it. OK. OK, Chris.

Producer Chris. It looks terrible. You're fired. Anthony. Am I giving it a scale or what? Oh, so nervous. On the stupid scale? Thought I really fired Chris,

like I have that power. When you said you're fired, Anthony just pisses. So if you were gonna do a scale or just pissing, just be like, it looks good, it looks fine, it sucks, it's terrible, it's whatever, say what you think. Yeah, it's really growing on me in the opposite direction. I hate it so much, I looks fine, it sucks, it's terrible. It's whatever, say what you think. Yeah, it's really growing on me in the opposite direction. I hate it so much, I can't believe it.

You hate it, I knew it. I knew you would hate it, honestly. It's metastasis. So I was ahead of you on you hating it before even you got there. Well, I love you, you're my brother. And what it is is I love you first, and then what's happening is I see that,

and then it's overcoming my love for you because that's how bad it is. What else it is is that you're my brother. I know you so well. I knew that this would be the kind of thing that you hate now. Anthony, what do you think about my hat? But who wouldn't hate that? It's bad.

Fuck you, dude. Who wouldn't hate that? Let me see. Let me just. You're not going to do it justice. Look at that. I can't. It's too far. I can't. See, that looks dead on. It looks fine. Dead on. Let me see. Is dead on it is the best it looks. And it's too far. I can't see that looks dead on. It looks fine. Dead on.

Let me see is dead on. It is the best it looks and that's not good. Oh, horrible. Really bad. Honestly, you know what it is? You know what it is? That's even worse. Yeah, it is.

Do you know what it is? Punchable. It's a punchable offense. I got an idea. We're not gonna do this forever. Okay. Oh yeah. No, but the idea is that if a guy like that got punched in the face,

it would be bad because no one should get punched in the face. But also there would be the part of it where you're like, OK, well, it's also good because of what he was wearing. Now, is that oh, it's even worse. I want to. Yeah. Scratch your eyes. Now that that is this don't ever don't don't do that. This just looks like an actually uncircumcised penis. It's like acid.

A flaccid, uncircumcised penis. Fuck you, how about that? It's like that. A flaccid uncircumcised penis is what my head looks like right now. Oh. That kind of thing is a, you look at it and you go fuck you in your head. So anyway, take it off. Well, it's not gonna stay on forever, but I'm gonna keep messing with it.

All of it, all of what you've done with this thing, whatever that fashion thing is, it's been awful. It's not a fashion, it's neck, it's literally a neck warmer. Oh, okay. Well, whatever you fashion thing is, it's been awful. It's not a fashion, it's neck, it's literally a neck warmer. Oh, okay. Well, whatever you- I needed it. Right. Whatever you've done with it so far today has been awful.

This? That looks awful. That looks terrible. I don't hate this. No, no, no, no. This looks better? No, no, no. Look at this side. No, it sucks.

That's horrendous, dude. I don't hate it. Oh, well, you're blind, so it's all good. I like that, Chris. Thank you. That's horrendous. That's arguably the worst one. Driving.

Anyway, so that's that. This is great content for the audio listeners. Matt's got a stupid neck thing anyway. And I'm putting it on my head. Yeah. I mean, that you look way better like that. And that's. Yeah, because my hair is out.

And I cleaned it. Everyone, you don't wash your hair but maybe you could wash your hair. Maybe you could shut the fuck up Well people say I do wash my hair and I do wash my hair. I mean that's the thing anything anybody has ever said I Wash my hair too. Okay, and everyone is always saying it's annoying. Yeah, shut the fuck up. I wash my hair too, okay? And everyone is always saying. It's annoying, dude. Shut the fuck up. Who are you? Vidal Sassoon, shut up.

What if it was Vidal Sassoon? You look up, that's Vidal Sassoon. That's his account. Vidal Sassoon 009. Wash your hair. Click. All right. So should we go,

well, I mean, how many other Vidal Sassoons would there be? Eight? No, I don't think so. No, because he couldn't get his own. What? Can I tell you something? Uh-oh, here it comes.

I always thought Vidal Sassoon was just the name of a company and not the name of a guy. That is fair. That's not that weird. That's not that bad, because Vidal Sassoon is like, but here's the Vidal. How long into your life did you think that? I honestly, it was like two years ago when I was like,

oh, that's a guy. Oh, you're an idiot. Oh, you're an idiot. That's bad. You're in your 40 pretty old. Oh, you're an idiot. That's bad. You're in your forties. Here's why it's okay. Not till you're 40, but here's why it's okay.

Is because Sassoon kind of makes me think of Salon. Yes. You know what Sassoon also makes you think? So it sounds like it's an Italian name to call something. All it is is a perfectly named man. It's wild. It's like your name is Vidal Sassoon and you are a hairstylist who makes hair products.

You're born to do that. Yeah, and the way he looks too is how he looks. Can you pull up a picture of Vidal Sassoon? Oh, I'm gonna love to see Anthony try to spell this. I'm gonna wanna, oh dude. There's gonna be a Z in there. Gore Vidal Sassoon. You know who Gore Vidal is? The hairsoon. You know who Gore Vidal is?

The hair guy? You know who Gore Vidal is? Ah, just so you know. Yeah, man. Well, that's why I said it. What do you think? I just picked a fucking ridiculous name. You can know a name.

But wait, Vidal Sassoon. Put a pic of him up, not just every pic of him. Okay. Great looking guy. I mean, yeah, for that age, I guess. I mean, so jealous. What did you see me? But look at him a little younger, dude.

Yeah, that's a travesty. Has anybody searched things worse? Young, Vidal Sassoon. Oh, look at him there with the strong nose. Right. I bet he used to sleep with women that smelled like fucking sewers, dude. Wow, just the weirdest.

French women in the 60s just fucking smelt, they had to put on so much perfume just to not smell like a homeless man's foot. This is how he had an orgasm too. Hup, hup, hup, hup. A quarterback calling an audible. Okay, all right. The man in action. Anybody seen the movie shampoo?

No. Overrated. Hi. I love the director. I love the director. I love the director. I love the stars, but hey, I love the writer, but hey, guess what? Overrated. A gay guy getting some business.

Business, yeah. Well, they want to say, set it for once, and that's enough. Okay, okay. Okay. All right, let's start. Get in the dugout. All right, get in the dugout, get in the fried butterfly, get in the hatchet one, just saying.

Okay, a hatchet one really upsets me, dude. Well, you're gay. Next. Stupid. A hat. Hey guys, love the show. I actually made a soundboard! Put a hat on. Love the show. I actually made a soundboard with a bunch of funny clips from the show. And I play them all the time. That's awesome.

One of my favorites is... Rawr. Yeah. Later on my wife and she hates it. But anyway, I have a quick question. How could you? So I've been on the drug Zetbound for like nine months and I've lost like 45 pounds. And my wife really doesn't like it.

She thinks that I'm like beta now and like too skinny or something. Beta, interesting. But I was like addicted to food and this like saved me from that. And I feel like much better physically, healthy, all that. But she wants me to stop doing it and I guess get fat again,

but I don't really want to do that Um, it's not I think I'm gonna put on some muscle But what do you think should I stop doing the shots and get fat again? Or should I follow the advice of my doctor? Let me know. Yeah, what do you think? Nice What she said then I do not listen to my mommy. What'd she say at the end? I do not listen to my mommy. I appreciate the advices boys.

I think that- She cute, Emma you're cute. Yeah. And you got a cool dad, you're a lucky girl. And he has a lamp for a hat. I think that- That's an unfortunate part. I think that you, why does your wife not

want you to be healthy? She does. No, she thinks he's become beta by losing too much weight. She thinks he should stop. So does his doctor. No, no, the doctors. Go ahead. Should I ignore the advice of my doctor

or should I listen to my wife is what he said. That's not what he said. No? No. I thought that's what he said. That's not the way he broke it down. He said something else and then should I listen to the advice of my doctor?

He said, should I keep, should I? I don't think you're right. Just rewind it to the very end. Well, I mean, I guess, of course I could be wrong, but I don't, I could have sworn. It wouldn't make sense if you- It wouldn't. It would.

What we're gonna do is we're gonna go to the end and we're not gonna listen to the whole thing again, okay? It's pretty interesting. We could just cut this part out. Just cut it. What we're not gonna listen to the whole thing again, okay? It's pretty interesting. We could just cut this part out. Just cut it. What we're not gonna do. We just cut this part out. And my wife really doesn't like it. Yeah, doesn't like that he lost weight.

Yeah, and his doctor says- But I was addicted to food and this like saved me from that. And I feel like- I don't even understand how you're getting there. Much better physically, healthy, all that, but she wants me to stop doing it and My guess get fat again, but I don't really want to do that. Um, I think I'm gonna put on some muscle But what do you think we're leaving this should I stop doing the shots and get fat again?

Or should I follow the advice of my doctor? I'm I'm I'm I'm I know Much you didn't okay. I get it. There's no other way to take that number. I know upset with how much you didn't. OK, I get it. I get it. There's no other way to take that. I'm upset. And there, there, there.

Fair enough. Fair enough. Here's why I'm pissed. At no point did he say what his doctor recommends. Yeah, that's fair. That is fair. That is fair. He just throws that in at the end, willy nilly.

That is fair. No fucking thing. Because of how the shot, who knows if it's like, if it's not after you approve it has a side effect. Yeah, you're right because of that. Yes, I'll give you that. That takes the anger from my body and drops it down one level, but not enough.

But thank God, thank God. Because my life's fucking mission is to take your anger down by one notch. No, it's not, but it is definitely not your life's mission to get it up there and that pissed me off. Maybe it is my mission to get it up there and that pissed me off. Well, maybe it is my mission to get it up there. Little brother. And so I feel like, yeah, you have, I want to know, I guess what I would ask your wife

is do you not like it because it's affecting your mood or attractiveness towards me or or libido, hey. Right, that's what I mean by that. Or is it, because obviously it'll keep him healthier. Maybe there's some risk, I don't know anything about it. Well, there's always some risk. Dude, it's called the Zet Pack? Like what are the names?

He said he has a jet pack. No, yeah. I just think with these things, you don't wanna, and look, this is based on nothing. This is not medical advice. I'm 0% doctor. So don't take this, take this for what it is. Just unsolicited opinion about this kind of thing.

0% doctor. Stop every once in a while. For what? See if you can go off and not become a fatso again. Oh, oh yeah. Because maybe now, I mean, obviously the drug is working, but maybe now something changed in your mind or in your body or mindset.

That's a good idea. That you can actually live without the shots and not put on too much weight. Also, your wife, say you do put on another 10, 20, maybe even 30 pounds, your wife won't think you're beta anymore, will like you more, will want to do more of the bing bong sideways horizontal mambo, baby baby. Wink, wink, wink.

Thesaurus. Till the break of dawn, baby got it going on. Writing a thesaurus. Word, cover girl. All right. Work it, yeah. Getting down. Just so annoying. On the one way. Getting down on the one way floor. Okay.

The one way floor. What is a one way floor? It's the one way floor where you just hump in and you keep going that way. I shouldn't ask. You hump and you keep moving that way. Cause you're sliding on the floor. You're humping.

You don't go backwards. You go one way, one way. You do if you're the woman. It's a one way ticket to hump, hump, hump. Okay. If you're the woman, you're going backwards, but okay. No, you're not. Yeah, you are.

You're only going one way is what I'm saying. Yeah, but you're going backwards. You say you're not going backwards. And if you're the woman, you are, because the guy's on top of you and you keep scooting forward. But it's still the one-way floor now, isn't it? You keep scooting backwards.

Yeah, sure, it's the one-way floor. Anyway. The one-way floor is a good title, just saying. Is it? I said what I said. All right, so. And I'll die at peace with what I said. I mean 82 just. The one with the floor is a good time. Is that you entering like the spiritual realm? No, that's your. Minority report. That's your. So yes then. Is that you entering the spiritual realm? Well, no. You entering the spiritual No, that's your minority report. That's your so yes.

Then is that you entering the spiritual realm? Well, no entering the spiritual realm because I know. All right. So it's not me. So nervous about dying. Oh, it'll be 86. You'll be 82. I'll be fine. I'll be watching you. I'll be like this with a fan trying to get the spirit. Nice. Go go. Go ahead.

Go ahead. Go go down Nice. Go further away. Go to heaven, go to heaven. Don't go down there, go to hell. Anyway. I won't go to hell. So. Yeah, so I think somewhere in between is actually right here. Maybe go on a break.

If you get fat, really fat, really fast again, then go back on them and just be like, hey, wife, I'm sorry, but I don't wanna be fucking John Candy up in this piece. It's a health risk. Well, what about how would you, like, okay, so, I would stay with my wife if she got really fat. What, do you want a fucking medal?

No, but I'm saying I would also stay with her if she got really skinny. Maybe she is really but I'm saying I would also stay with her if she got really skinny Maybe she is really thin but like I would stay with her if she got her arms lopped off Yes, I would okay I would stay with her if it was just her with a head in a box If it was just that would be kind of fucking dope. Well, it would be a lot easier For me in certain ways. I would, if her mouth was... God, how would she poop though? Cemented shut and couldn't talk,

I would stay with her, but that's, you know. That's what you're trying to do currently. But no, I'm just saying, you know, I wanna know more about this wife, like what it is about not liking it. If it's a, if it's a. Like what kind of a thing it is, because that's interesting, because it's usually the other way around.

It's facing a woman or man would like it when their partner loses weight and comes to in within a normal range of weight. Except women, who knows where he is to it could be in the Midwest. Women will be like, well, what are you doing with all that Hollywood shit? Yeah, I got eat the burger right She could be saying it's beta because of just the fact of what he's doing not yes. Yes Oh, that's that's what I'm saying. I would like to talk her. Yeah If my wife was a head in a box, I'd keep her I'd say I you know I'd I'd still be privileged to be married to her. I mean, in the dog house.

And then on Sunday, you're gonna make sure Lifeline is on loud in the background. What part is this? Oh, am I talking about you here? Well, no sweetie, don't leave the room now. So yeah, that's good. All right. All right, thanks.

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no matter what. Pre-order the Samsung Galaxy S25 Ultra now at Samsung.com. Don't mind my appearance right now, but this is a bit of a story I guess, so bear with me. Gotcha. My mom planned a trip to go out of town, if you're ever out of town, with her best friend, and she invited me. Black Friday shopping. It's like, okay, that sounds beautiful. Okay. Fast forward to the night before we're supposed to leave, my mom calls me and is like, hey, the trip's canceled. Leigh-Ann, her friend, her noni fell.

Super bad injuries, we're not going. Okay, I have a noni. Oh my god, okay, absolutely fine. Fast forward to the day of the trip, my mom, or my sister, she texts me and says, how's Duluth? And I say, no. It got canceled, babe, didn't you hear?

No, mom's car's gone, they left. What? So my mom went on this trip without me, I guess, and I didn't know if she lied about it to get me to not go. So fast forward a couple weeks, I reach out to my mom. I'm super hurt.

And she responds by saying, she sends me, it's not funny, photos of the injuries of Lansnody's injuries. And I'm like, oh fuck, okay. Bad way to answer my fucking text. But I, my FBI ass looks at the metadata on the photos. I, my FBI ass looks at the metadata Yeah, it's not. On the photos. Pictures she found on Google.

And they were taking it on March 16th. This supposedly happened in November. Oh, what? So I call her out on it. She says, no, the metadata glitched or whatever. Yeah. So. Moms know about metadata.

My mom is a chronic fucking liar and I don't know. But you don't know this yet? How to deal with this because she's sticking by the lie. Secondly, does metadata glitch? I'm pretty sure that she doesn't glitch on iPhone. No. You already have the other evidence of her ghost. I don't know how to navigate this.

I obviously love her, but this has been pretty eye-opening. Yeah, man. This is heartbreaking. She's a fucking liar. So any advice would be very helpful. Maybe. Thank you. Maybe she.

You're going to play devil's advocate right now. No, no, no. I don't appreciate it. No, no, no. No, no, no. Well, no, I'm not, actually. OK. I mean, maybe technically it is, but maybe something is wrong. Like, if you didn, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,'s what I'm saying. She's been caught, and she's like, no.

There are certainly early onset signs, or rather signs of early onset conditions that make people who typically behave in certain ways, everybody has the ways that they usually behave, they start doing things very, very, outside. Yeah typical range of this is what I'm saying This yeah, exactly. Yeah, this sounds like it could be that yeah I don't know if it is and that is I I would say a very like Gracious reading of it. I would argue that

The opposite at least at first to come at it like mom reading of it, I would argue that the opposite, at least at first, to come at it like, mom, first off, you're my mom. Right. Moms can't lie to their kids like this. Right, not like that. This is a fucked up kind of lie that like a shitty half-boyfriend does to his half girlfriend because he'd rather spend

the day with the side bitch. Like this is, this is like mind bogglingly bad as a lie. It's mind boggling that a mother would do this to a daughter. There's one more mind boggling. Go ahead. What is it? The thing that's more mind boggling about it is, this hasn't happened before. That's, like she's acting like, wait a minute,

I figured out that my mom's a liar. Crazy. She's 20 something. Crazy. She could be 30, I don't know. Crazy. There had to have been signs about this, there had to have been.

Or she's just been getting away with lies this whole time. And she's that sloppy? That's the thing. Well, the truth is she never would have gotten caught if the sister didn't go by and see the car was missing. That's just a fact. But to be alive that long, which however old that lady is. I mean, I agree with you.

I'm just saying. No, I get it. I get it. I get it. Things fall through the cracks and you frankly don't suspect your mom is lying. Yeah, yeah, I mean, I agree with you. I'm just saying. No, I get it, I get it, I get it. Things fall through the cracks and you frankly don't suspect your mom is lying. You just, children don't expect that unless they grow up learning to expect that. And if she didn't-

Why hasn't she brought up to her mom yet, well, my sister said your car wasn't there. Here's what, yeah, okay, good question. She probably has, but she didn't say she had. Just make an easy, simple list, confront her about it, have the list there for reference so she doesn't get out of anything. It doesn't sound like she's gonna be good

at getting out of things anyway, so you're probably gonna be fine. But just don't let her off the hook and keep coming back the same thing that you caught her in a lie and why are you lying to me? I'm your daughter. You should be the one person in the world

that I can trust more than anyone else. She's kind of like shattering her daughter's worldview. This is fucked up. Obviously going shopping on Black Friday isn't a big deal, but the fucking lie and what it might mean about the woman and the relationship is fucked up, dude. Yeah, it's pretty weird. It's definitely at least weird.

And you have every right to get to the bottom of it. Don't let her wave you off. Yeah, be a dog with a bone. And if she tries to start to wave you off, be like, mom, no, this is a very big deal to me. I think it's understandable why it would be. If it's all a big misunderstanding, then please just take your time

and explain it step by step. And then I'll understand it to be that. But obviously when you get defensive and wave it away, all I think is, oh, you fucking lied. Because the person with the truth on their side has no reason to be like, ah, I just wanna get through it. Ah, I don't wanna talk about it. Like they just talk about it.

Yeah, true. That is truly strange. This one really throws me. Huh really? Yeah the idea of a mom suddenly starting to lie like that later in life when you're adult to your adult children. But that didn't happen. What do you mean? I'm saying it is very unlikely that she all of a sudden just started lying that bad unless there's something that is happening to her medically. To her point of view, from her point of view. To her knowledge.

It's new. Yeah. And that is mind blowing. Okay. Right. Okay. Fair enough. Yeah.

All right. Next. Chris, Maverick here. Coming to you guys about my girlfriend. I love her. She has an amazing heart and loyal to the bone and like a cool hang. So it's not like if I should be with her or not. But she really wants hair on the sides of my head.

How do I deal with her irrational fears? She is like deathly scared of balloons. Like she can't even be in a room that has a balloon because she's scared it's gonna pop. We save money on birthdays. And then like fireworks, like sound of a firework, she'll like Twitch and like freak out. Save money on 4th of July.

To the point like she can't control it and it's like actually like weird. Like when we're like around our friends like in public like 4th of July last year. Save money. She's awesome. Chris she bought us two VIP tickets to see you in Iowa so maybe you remember this and you can like make a joke about it or something. Oh when I go soon.

Love you guys. I've been a baby for the last like five years. You're freaking awesome Thank you, dude. See you guys Dubuque is that Iowa Dubuque and Peoria? No, that's Illinois. I don't know but that's the mission Maybe you want to do puke because you didn't fucking mention me once this bastard. Yeah. Okay. Well, yeah but hold on so he is saying, how do I deal with my girlfriend who's afraid of balloons and fireworks? I mean, that to me, that's awesome.

You don't have to celebrate shit. Also, who cares, man? He actually said, you know, she's great, and like, I love her, and I can totally be in a relationship with her. Balloons and fireworks? Hey, man, welcome to the fucking world. People are weird.

Consider yourself lucky. Yeah. Hey, but all- This isn't a fucking problem. Yeah. Fucking psycho. Wow. Grow some hair on the side of your fucking head

and then come talk to me again. Fucking weirdo. That's a bit harsh. I would say also you could say to your woman, your girlfriend, hey, shape up, right? Because sometimes there's going to be balloons around. Shape, right? Shape, sure, but she also might have a phobia. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is a real thing.

I have a phobia too. People have phobias of balloons. I have phobias of certain things. When they're around, I shape, okay? Because- What are your phobias? I don't want to say them. Say one that is innocuous, if you can. Or make one up, who cares?

Heights. Okay, you have, so when you are near heights- I get quee, I get, I wouldn't say queasy, but like, I feel like I'm going upside down. And do you stay away from heights, or do you approach them and say, shape? Yeah, I approach them and I go, this sucks, but let's shape.

Okay, I don't believe you. I do, I do. But I believe you but I don't. I don't say out loud, let's shape like I'm a transformer, but I'm saying I do in my head go, I can't let this bother me, come on dude. Yes, it sucks, I'm scared, but let's shape. Don't you think you're gonna like fall off?

You know, I've thought about this a lot. But let's shape. Can I talk about something? Okay. I've thought about this a lot. And we all have this feeling of, if you're afraid of heights, you get close to the thing. There's no banister, there's no guard rail keeping up.

You get close to it. And I think the common thought is, I'm gonna fall off. I gotta back up. I think what's really going on is that we become afraid that we're going to jump off on purpose. Yeah, I'm afraid of that too, yeah. Isn't that interesting?

Shape, yeah, but shape, yeah. Yeah, the worst psychologist in the fucking world came to him with the phobia issue about heights. The insecurity of shape. And you're just like, and the guy's like scared and sweating and he's like remembering. And he says,

so, you know, in those situations, I just kind of don't know exactly what to do. And then you say. Shape. Shape. I understand that. The guy would never come back again. What if I jump off?

Yeah, but that's also an OCD thing. But isn't that interesting though? It's like death is right there. I'm afraid I'm gonna purposely jump off. It's not like, oh my God, I'm gonna slip and trip. Nobody slips and trips standing on. Well, the wind sometimes is up high. The wind is worse.

Sure, yeah. Anyway, yeah, I understand what you're saying and that's philosophically, that's interesting. Or psychologically. And I'm like, you know, I'm like this kind of like, I'm just like this philosopher. You're not. And it's just interesting to people who know me

because they're like, oh my God, Matt, you're like truly like a philosopher. And I'm like, hey, honestly, I'm just a guy. I write sometimes, I make movies sometimes. I'm mainly a podcaster now, but really like, underneath it all, I'm like this philosophical king. No worries, man. Oh, no worries, man. I'm like this like philosophical king.

Oh, no worries, man. So, and then, no worries. I think that philosophical king, wow. I think that- Ha ha ha ha, about yourself. What? About yourself.

I think that, yeah, you gotta, I think generally people just need to shape a bit more. Get shaped is what I say. Get fucking shaped, dude. Shit happens. Shape yourself, right? It's hard to shape. Yes, it is. Especially when you have the phobia. Yes. Do it. I mean, I get scared of crazy things.

And I'm talking about shut down where my body is shut down. And I shape up, dude. What are the steps you take in your mind to shape? I sit, I try to calm my body. I'm in control of my body. I control it. I control it by parts. I breathe through it with I say, OK, let's slow my heart rate down. Let's do that. This is why I'm scared of that.

It doesn't make logical sense. This is tough. Maybe it's supposed to be tough, but let's shape. And it and, you know, it can work and it's still hard, but life is hard. Life is, you know, it's like, at what point are people pussies? What about when people are like, ah, birds? Oh, well, birds are around. And that doesn't mean we're not going to wait outside of a restaurant

for 20 minutes because there are birds around. And we like this restaurant. And you're too scared because we're on the patio and we need to be in the car going to a place where there's nothing, where there's no time, no wait outside. Yeah, in that instance, shape. Exactly. In that instance, shape.

But that's what I'm saying, but like at what point, what's the line? I think the lines are like when someone actually has I'm scared of birds. some sort of PTSD thing happening where it's like, it becomes understandable. Yes. Say birds reminded someone of like something.

A bird killed your mom. Yeah, a bird came in at night and just shot your mom to death with a gun. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Dude. You'd be so, if you were in the house with her, you'd be so fucked, the police would be like, and what happened now? The bird, I know it sounds crazy,

it was a bird that shot her. Oh, oh. Hey. Oh. Cut, cutting somebody's cakes. Sucking dick. Oh. Oh. Cut cutting so many cakes, sucking dick. Sucking somebody's dick sucks.

Now, you know, isn't the goal. I got it. I did. What's that? What's that? Ah! That. Ah! It's so weird. Someone just tuned in right now to the pod. They'd be so confused.

Just imagine what this is like for audio listeners. I think about that sometimes. Then it farts and poof, pop and shoot somebody. You know, had to add that part. Casualty. Only meant to kill the mom, oh. Crows, you ever seen those videos of crows where they're being way too smart and it's upsetting?

No. It's really weird, dude. Crows are smart. Crows will just figure shit out that like a literal six-year-old can't do. Yeah, they do that. They scratch their chin and everything. I like crows.

Absolutely. Turtle. Dude. I like turtles. This is what that was. We have a crow driving. Dude, I like turtles kid looks so much like Crystal Lea when he was that age.

Ah, dude. That's true. Ah, ah. Boop boop. Ah. ah dude that's true Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that's the crow learning how to drive. Oh, but in the sun roof some more crows could come in? Yep. Nice.

So it can brag to the other crows. Crows do. Like this driving. The other day I, crows fuck with each other, dude. I saw an injured crow in the middle of my street. I was walking my dog in the morning. Two other crows were coming out one by one, just like, poof,

but poking it with their fucking big ass beaks. Just nailing it, dude. Lucky they didn't have guns. Over and over again. I was like, stop. I was like, as if there was something I could do, you know? I was like, no, no, no, no. But it's like, that's nature, bro.

Nature is hardcore. Yeah, let's look at the turtles. Wait, but before we even look at the turtles thing, how did we get on the bird having a gun? I mean, you tell us, dude. How did it get there? Nobody knows. Can't even remember.

Oh, oh, scared of birds. Dude, that's hilarious. Wait a minute, dude, if I did that on stage, fuck, I'm bringing the house down. Dude, I gotta do that on stage. The bird thing was pretty good, I's hilarious. Wait a minute, dude. If I did that on stage, fuck, I'm bringing the house down. Dude, I got to do that on stage. The bird thing was pretty good, I got to say. Imitating the bird was good. But I went too far with it driving, obviously.

But you got to go too far. Going too far with something like that is good. Oh. Let's look at the I Like Turtles kid. That always reminded me of Chris DeLea. Back here live at the Waterfront Village with my friend, the zombie, Jonathan. You're looking good, Jonathan.

And I don't like this. I do. Face paint job. What do you think? I like turtles. I don't look like how it looks. Jonathan, you're looking good. Jonathan, you've got an awesome face paint job. I do. What do you think? I like turtles. I don't like that. All right, you're a great zombie. Good times here. I had no idea what to say.

You're a great zombie. And I don't like any of that, Matt. Why? I never liked it. Why? Say why. Kids thinks he's being smart. And life's tougher than that, dude.

You're not going to. Bro, fuck you. The kid thinks he's being smart. What? a smart alec what are you talking about no way what do you think it is he's just doesn't know what to say he's on TV he's like I like turtles man oh no he's he's being a smart alec I I never once never considered well consider it now and be and be wrong and admit it no he's being a sport. I'm going to fuck with her and throw off her game.

I like turtles. She's fucking, he's fucking six. Nah, he's not. He's like nine. Fuck you dude. What a grim view of the world. Yo, that's reality. I'm telling you that's what happened.

Let's watch the grown up. I would like it if you were right. There's a grownup version of it. Go back. Do you know what I was doing? I was fucking with him. There. Watch.

I know what I was doing. I was fucking with him. That's him now. Play it. Back here live. We just got out of the screening for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It's him. They redid it.

It is him? No, it's him. Okay, play it. Oh yeah, they did this for TMNT. I'm with my friend, the zombie, Jonathan. Looking good. Jonathan just got an awesome face paint job. Wow.

What'd you think of the movie? I like totals. All right, you're great zombie. Good times here. Horrible, horrible. Keep playing it. No, there's more. It's an ad for TMNT.

Opening in theaters August 2nd. Good marketing. Yeah. I think that you guys are way off. I think you guys are way off. You know, I think you're just a piece of shit. How about this, consider what I'm saying. Okay.

Think about it for a day. I'll go clear slate. Go ahead. Think about it for a day. Explain it from the start. No, think about it for a day. Think about it for a day? Nah, busy.

Pretty busy, dude. I mean, sleep on it, dude. Okay, I mean, or just let me clear, clean slate. Go ahead. No, dude. The reporter comes up to her, him. No, what's the plan? What goes on?

Oh, I'm a silly guy in school. I'm going to make fun and I'm just going to say something random. And this is a joke that I have with my friends. I like turtles. Now, what's this lady going to do now? Can I get to the fucking bird being a college professor in and teaching philosophy? I still disagree. But yeah, go ahead. Oh, ah, ah, ah, ah.

You know, I wanted to do like that kind of stuff. So frantic. Ah. With a pointer. I don't know, man. The joke's over. I'd seen the Ratatouille pitch before the restaurant. Oh, oh.

Like, long time ago, but it's still funny. The Jordan Peterson thing? We should play it. Man, I never saw that. That's so funny. Play it. Anthony, We should play it. Man, I never saw that. That's so funny. Play it. Anthony, take your requisite five minutes to find the clip.

Anthony, if you're not shitting, take your requisite. What is it I'm looking for? Jordan Peterson rat tattoo. I would wonder. With rat tattoo. He said, I wonder. Jordan Peters. He said, what am I looking for?

I wonder. What a bitch. There it is said what am I looking for? I wonder What a bitch there it is, that's it this explains the plot to ratatouille rat Is this? The rats are all like this the rat goes like this. So the rats like this the normal rat is like this That's the normal rat like this like this It sniffs. It's like this for quite a while. He is like this. That's the normal rat. Like this, like this. It sniffs. It's like this for quite a while.

He's like this. And then maybe he sniffs. Oh, that's better the other way. That was funny. What do you mean? It was the whole thing. Oh, it was longer than that? Yeah, yeah.

Oh, I didn't know about that. All right, well, anyway, so that's that. And that is very funny. Jordan Peterson kind of fat and younger is really great for me. No, I mean, know about that. All right, well, anyway, so that's that. And that is very funny. Jordan Peterson kind of fat and younger is really great for me. I mean, fat is crazy. That's why I said kinda. Not even kinda.

Way more filled out than he is now. It's funny. All right, so next one. All right, yeah. Hey Chris, hey Matt, love the podcast. Chris, I saw you in Daytona, Orlando, and also St. Petersburg. That was dope.

It was awesome. Hell yeah, dude. Yes. I'm a little so it goes awesome. Oh, yeah Um, yes, I have glasses on while it's raining fuge to pry right obvious but my question is When me and my girlfriend we live together at school in Tampa When we get done with the semester of school, she seems to think like I need to go home and relax and chill She seems to think like I need to go home and relax and chill But when I get done with a semester I'm ready to start working because I have an easy semester coming up So I'm just gonna take online classes and just work work work

until fall when my next hard semester is and She seems to think I shouldn't be doing that and like I'm gonna have more money when I'm older and I should enjoy this time. But I feel like I don't deserve to enjoy this time. I feel like relaxing is a moment of celebration. But I don't know, is she right or am I right? Thank you guys. This is such a good question. Figure out and do what you want.

A good question. Figure it out and do exactly what you want, thanks. Let me answer it better than that. This is such a good question. And that. This is such a good question. And I say this is such a good question because I used to think exactly the way the young man was describing in the video. I thought, I don't have any money yet,

I don't have any prospects yet, I don't have any work yet, nothing's even on the horizon. What would I be taking a break from? This is a break. Right. But that is not true. No, it's not.

I was in those, during those times, hustling, trying to make my own break, trying to get my foot indoors, trying to make stuff that people were interested in, trying to write stuff that people cared about, trying to get hired doing any goddamn thing under the sun. That's a lot. And a break from that is just as valuable

as a break for a fucking CEO of Tyson Foods. It's a big fucking load off your shoulders. Give yourself a little bit of a break. What she's saying is a little bit misguided. You can take, you'll have money and whatever da da whatever. It's about you now. You need a break now just like anybody needs a break anytime. And if you can, and if you can get, also if you can get a little boink boink boink till the break of dawn, baby got it going on, work it yeah, wow, word, cover girl, work it yeah, get down on the one-way flow. If you can get a little bit of that done as well.

So stupid. During the break, it's good for everybody. Well, yes. But my thing to say after that is make sure you want to take a break because sometimes you don't want to. Of course. You want to keep working. And especially like, you know,

sometimes women will be like, I want it to be all about me, relax with me, do a vacation with me, don't work cause you're not focused on me. That is annoying. And no woman ever said that, but yeah. They mean to though. They mean to.

It's deeper. Behind. It's deeper. Who's going to say behind our backs? No, no, no, no, no, behind it all. Behind it all. Sadiqer. Not behind our backs. They just go like, you know, they want you to be happy about what... They want you to do something with them and just doing it with them isn't enough. They want you to like it. There we go. I said it.

Okay. Well, Sadiqer. And once again folks, Sadiqer. Welcome back to the Sadiqer Chronicles with Christopher Delia, your host. A lot of good titles for this episode could be. Walking back on it. Get shape, shape, get shaped. Forgot already. The the one I just said, Sadiqer Chronicles is good. The the one way floor, the one way floor is.

I think I don't know if that one's great. Philosopher King is great. That is good too, yeah. A lot of good titles for this one. Shall we do one more? Yeah, yeah, yeah, so British. Shall we do one more? Shall we do one more?

Hey, Chris and Matt. Nate talk. This is my daughter. She's five months and like, well, baby, she gets a lot of attention. And recently I had two incidents where strangers felt like it was a fear for them too. Touch her. Touch her? At the grocery store old lady reached down with her nasty finger and I'm like poked her nose like that or like tried to but I smacked her hand away and told her like don't do that.

Yeah. I mean we left the store but, at the dentist, my dentist, when she met her, this is my first time going to this dentist. She touched her feet, which was fine, I guess. Then touched her hands and then like was pinching her cheeks like that, touched her nose. And I wasn't okay with it, but I didn't say anything because I didn't really know what to say. And it's also like when we first met, so I was going to have to interact with her afterwards.

I had no problem being rude to the stranger at the grocery store, but I didn't know what to say to the dentist. And like, you know, not don't touch my baby, especially with your, I don't know where your hands are being, you know? Am I overreacting? If not, what should I say? In that instance, I had no idea what to do. I was holding her at the time, I guess I could have like, you know, backed away, but then I would have had to say something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You just say, you created this and walk away. That is a really, really good question. God, that is life. That question is life, yeah. You just say, you created this and walk away. That is a really, really good question. Yeah, it is a good question. God, that is life. That question is life, dude. I know, I know, it really is. You've literally brought life into the show.

Life is now here among us. Life is on the show. Jordan Peterson. We are, and the rat's like this. We are on life right now. Life is on the show, we are on life, okay? And then the rat's like this. We are on life right now. Life is on the show. We are on life. Okay. And then the rats like this. They're sniffing. And then the other rats like this. The internet, it sucks. You know what sucks? That the internet exists for people that didn't know it was gonna exist. Totally. It's so fucked. Like Peter's a poor guy who's

just given a great, probably a great lesson about a rat. His students were definitely always like, Oh my God, Professor Peterson is the best. And now they got to watch some video about him explaining ratatouille. And they had no idea he was conservative. And now that's all anyone ever thinks about. Right. Booyah, booyah and booyah. Emphasis on the boo. OK. OK.

What do we do? Dude, it's such a good question. Here's the thing. Ah, don't touch people's babies, dude. I would say touching their feet or something or arm. Feet is always OK. It's OK. But beyond that, you know, because sometimes they're

going, oh, what a cutie, you know. Over their clothes on their arm. Right, yes, yes. Like this. Oh my god, so cute. That's okay. But beyond that, you know, cause sometimes they're like, oh, what a cutie, you know. Over their clothes on their arm. Right, yes, yes. Like this, oh my God, that's totally fine. Yeah. But getting up in the face. Yeah. What would you do?

Here's the deal. What would you do to another person that isn't a baby? That's a good idea. Would you touch their face ever? No, dude. You would never touch a stranger's fucking face. That's a good John Malkovich. That's a good, that's a good, yeah, you would never touch a stranger's fucking face. That's a good, John Malkovich, that's a good,

that's a good, yeah, that's true. We forget that they're people, you know? Yeah, totally. And they're more so, they're fragile. So don't be, it is weird. People don't get fucking personal space anyway, and I just, you know, it's like back the fuck up. True, but they're also,

just to play it out all the way both sides That's a cute ass fucking baby. Yeah that baby. So what it is for a lot of people it is legitimately hard to see a cute as hell baby and not be like It's like yeah, it's not it's not like Acceptable, but I understand the impulse. You know, you ever walk by, like I have two kids, I'll walk by people sometimes, and my kids are so cute, like, you know, they're four and two.

It's crazy to me that people don't go like to them. Like people just walk by and don't do shit. That's crazy. A little baby walks by me. I go, oh. Or at least like who are these people? It's so weird, but I mean, maybe they're doing it for they're doing it for some reason, I guess.

But not even a big smile. Yeah, no, that's what I'm saying. Nothing's required besides acknowledgement that you're you're in the company of the greatest things on earth. I don't think that, I'm not saying, I'm not saying I or he or our family deserves that. I'm saying, how does your brain not do something to make you do something when you see a baby like that?

Like I feel it in my whole body. I'm like, oh, my gosh. Like, I know. That's we're saying the same thing. Yeah, it's just nonsense. Yeah. It's it's something I think with men. It's something about I can't be a bitch. Sure. That is the dumbest thing. It is the dumbest thing. At least I've thought that and it makes sense.

But women, some women do it. Some women do it. And I think women do it. And sense, but some women do it. Some women do it and I think women do it. And again, this is also completely guessing, but I think women do it because they're like, there's a number of possible reasons, but it's like, oh, I remember my child was fucking that cute once.

It's not that big of a fucking deal. Oh. That kind of thing. But some kind of bitterness underneath it. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. Wow. That's what I sense. Or, I mean, look, there's also truly the possibility that they don't see the fucking baby.

Sure, yeah. Because they're so in their own world. Well, not every time, but yes. Not every time, but so often is the case that something crazy will pass me by and the person I'm with will be like, do you fucking see that? And be like, oh, I'm sorry, see what?

They'll be like, the dude on stilts and a tricycle. The guy who just gave you a bukkake. And I'll just be like, oh no, I didn't see that at all. No, I didn sorry. See what the big the dude on stilts and a tricycle the guy who just gave you a bukkake And I'll just be like, oh no, I didn't see that at all. I didn't see that. What is this? I'm the guy who just gave you my friends. No, oh you turned my completely wholesome joke into a bukkake joke. Well Uh, or just you didn't even wait until it was over. So there's that your wholesome what joke? Yeah, oh you were doing a joke. You would know if you didn it was over. So there's that. Your wholesome what? Joke? Yeah. Oh, you were doing a joke. You would know if you didn't step all over saying Bukaki. That sucks. I did that. Yeah. I said the man on stilts on a tricycle

and I didn't see the man on a tricycle. But that's not really that funny. Oh, I'm sorry. But Bukaki is fucking goddamn hilarious. It is funnier that you would not see men emptying on your face than a guy riding a tricycle, I'm sorry. I saw a guy on stilts riding a tricycle in my neighborhood recently.

So you did see it. So I'm saying I never seen a guy Bukaki on my. Right, but what I'm saying is mine is much more realistic. Yes, maybe. And I'm a realism guy. Maybe. More people. You think it's less, you think it's possibly equally likely

to see a man on stilts on a tricycle possibly as likely as seeing a random bukkake session, some side street in Eagle Rock. Well, now you're saying where it was. OK. Why can't it be we were in a thing in the valley, a duplex in the valley, and we passed by? We could. So I would say that Bukaki is more common. Then a guy on stilts with a tricycle, on a tricycle, dude. Always, always like 100 percent.

Always more likely than Bukaki. Hey. I would say. Stilts. Bing. Bukaki. Bing. Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding

ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding I mean, yeah, not even close actually. Bukakis are happening right now, I'll tell you that much. Of course. Stilts on tricycles are happening way less. But they're all happening behind closed doors. Like, you're never going to run into one out on the street. I think you'd be, especially where we live, you'd be more apt to see somebody getting emptied out on their face. Just see it on the street. Why are you saying on the street? Because that's where it is.

That's where this hypothetical exists and always has. No, it wasn't. It could be in an outdoor mall on a vacant building that you're walking through in on Satecoy. Why can't it? You're just saying outside on the street in Eagle Rock. I mean our parents listen to this podcast, you know? Mom googling Bukaki, you know? Oh!

Yeah, mom don't Google Bukaki. It's stupid. Google Eagle Rock. She probably doesn't know where it is. She knows where it is. Her favorite son lives near Eagle Rock. No, that't know where it is. She knows where it is. Her favorite son lives near Eagle Rock. No, I do not. I live far. I am mom's favorite son. I am dad's favorite son.

I am Uncle Vinny's favorite nephew. I am Uncle Richard's favorite nephew. Affirmations, affirmations. I am at Michelle's in rehab doing it the wrong way you I in the circle I was like Mike's favorite nephew I could go on and on and it would be just as true and with that I don't know we going to wrap up the show. What's up? I just was hypnotized up until now. What's up?

What's up? What do we got to say? Stuff about your dates and stuff? Yeah, just go to my website, tour on tour, chrissy.com. Make sure you are signed up for my Patreon. While it is still free, it will not be free for that much longer. Get in there, patreon.com slash Matt Delia.

Matt Delia is confused. 2.0 is coming back as a live show, livestream. Even if you miss it, it'll always be on the Patreon. Even if YouTube tries to rip it down because I am a hard target on the run, it will always be on Patreon for your viewing pleasure. Yippee! Wow.

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