Lifeline - 154. Ding Dong Ditched Life

Episode Date: March 30, 2025

LIFELINE ✨LUXURY✨ is available at patreon.com/lifelineluxury. Extra episodes every month, no advice, all for $5. Our Patreon is also the exclusive home to all the live podcasts which we film and upload! 🤳 Want to submit to Lifeline? Go here: forms.gle/EYbqjvyy1A9r728Y9 🎧 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: apple.co/3NG2G2G 🔊 Subscribe on Spotify: spoti.fi/3NPUwoT 🔗 All our links: linktr.ee/watchlifeline TODAY we're talking about splitting a gas tank with friends, imgining being attacked and what you would do or how you would handle the situation, health concerns before your kids are born, if it's good to keep cash on you, and "the guy from Shawshank." 💚 Lifeline is the first podcast about you, hosted by Matt D'Elia & Chris D'Elia. More LIFELINE: Instagram: instagram.com/watchlifeline Tiktok: tiktok.com/@watchlifeline More Matt D'Elia: Sign up FOR FREE For Matt's Patreon for all episodes of The Private Record and upcoming drops of Matt D'Elia is Confused Book 20 or 40 min one-on-one sessions with Matt at mattdelia.com. More Chris D'Elia: Congratulations podcast: congratulationspod.com Live on tour: chrisdelia.com/tour Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Okay, flights on Air Canada. How about Prague? Ooh, Paris. Those gardens. Gardens. Um, Amsterdam. Tulip Festival. I see your festival and raise you a carnival in Venice. Or Bermuda has carnaval. Ooh, colorful. You want colorful. Thailand. Lantern Festival. Boom. Book it. Um, how did we get to Thailand from Prague?

Oh, right. Prague. Oh, boy. Choose from a world of destinations. If you can. Air Canada. Nice travels. RUNK. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Hello? Hello? Hello? Will you please stand on our side? Hello?

Hello? Rolling, rolling like a boulder? Hold on a second. Rolling like a boulder? Born yesterday. No, that's Anthony. Oh yeah, it is Anthony. We just discussed this.

How did you not get that? Well, I don't know. We just, it was severed. The top of the, it was- Speaking of severed. The conversation was severed. did you not get that? Well, I don't know. We just. Yeah. It was severed. The top of the it was speaking. The conversation was severed. Have you seen severance? I didn't know if I should start over. I just when before we even get into the beginning of the show,

this is we're recording right now, obviously, but just be just when severance. I mean, I'm talking about just when people stop talking about it. I gotta hear about adolescence. Now, is there ever gonna be a moment in time where I'm not hearing about a TV show? Here's the thing, the chatter about adolescence? Why isn't it lifeline? Well, that's crazy, because honestly, I was listening.

What if it was after adolescence? I don't listen to every episode. I listen to like some of every episode usually. I was listening to the latest episode on the way over here and it is so good. Yeah, it's good. It's crazy how good this show is. Well, I don't wanna brag,

but it's on the level of Severance and Severance is one of the best shows that there ever was. I would say that this show is less impressive than Severance. Oh yeah, no doubt. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But as for good, yeah, you could make an argument, right? There are definitely people who'd rather watch this than Severance, which is crazy.

That is crazy. But it's true. But hey. But it's not as impressive. Well, no, because we're not doing massive oners of Adam Scott running down endless hallways that looks completely real. Yeah, well, that's true.

But the stuff that I do with my mind and the quickness of it is really impressive. So you could argue that. No, no, no one could argue that except you because no one has access to that. I wouldn't argue against somebody who said that. Nobody would say that besides you. So you'd have to be arguing with yourself, which you wouldn't do anyway. So therefore what you say comes back full circle

and shouldn't even have been uttered once. Can you really even argue with anyone is what I think Plato said. Poetry, poetry. So Aristotle said that, I think. So that's that. I will be in Vegas this weekend coming up here. Yay, Cranston, Rhode Island, Portland, Maine, Casper, Wyoming, for some reason, Cheyenne, Wyoming, Denver.

Then I got this string of check these dates out New York, Boston, Atlanta, Savannah, Winnipeg, Regina, Ontario, South Florida, Irvine. I just have a bunch of them. Go to chrislea.com and check out my new website by the way. It's, uh, it's bunch of them. Go to chrislea.com and check out my new website by the way. It's kind of killing. All right, so there we go chrislea.com. That website is looking nice. Yeah, thank you.

Got some good pimpin' pimpin' shows coming up. You can click the link under the comments. We'd like to see it. Put my thing out there. We'd like to see that. Yeah, and merch and all that. We got Lifeline merch too at lifelinemerch.com. And our Patreon here, which supports the show.

Thank you very much. It really does. And it's great. We have over 50 episodes, including two full live shows. You can only get on our Patreon for Lifeline, patreon.com slash Lifeline luxury. So there you go. I was checking out that library that is maybe just as good, maybe better than the regular show. It's hard to severance

No impressive than several love you and this Also sign up for my patreon patreon.com slash Matt. Delia. It's where the new and improved and Rocket ship of Matt. Delia's can it was k 2.0 is gonna take off in the near future. Sign up now while it's still free because if you don't sign up now, it's gonna cost something and you wanna get in there while it's free and then when you get in there when it's free,

then when the pay pay starts, you get discounts. Baby baby, pimping, pimping, about it, about it. Nicholas Cage in a scene and he took liberties and the director thought it was fine and he said, let's try one without it. And Nicholas Cage said, okay, and then did the exact same thing and won't let them film one without it

so he knows it'll be used. Yep. Yeah, do that, sign up for that. Yeah, so yeah, all right, cool. There we go. And that's what it is. And you know what, honestly, good thing that it's 150 degrees in here.

A good thing. The heater was on when I got here. Why was the heater on? No. It wasn't. It was the AC. Was it really? Oh, it felt so hot when I got here. Why was the heater on? No. It wasn't. It was the AC. Was it really? Oh, it felt so hot when I walked in.

Oh yeah, that was AC. But let me ask you a question though. Why do you always have the microphone up here and then you have to wait for you to pull it down to talk? In case he doesn't do a disgusting burp or something. Like the guy from the... Tim McArthur, yeah. Ha ha ha ha!

Shorthand, we're brothers, man. I was eating an apple when you guys started. Oh, I noticed, because it was the loudest apple bite I've ever heard in my life. It was while I was talking about Severance, and I heard, kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk who do that always, so not just then, so that's cool. Eat apples? No, no, no, he always keeps the thing with him. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We ask him something and then there's a beat and he goes. Are you always eating an apple?

No. I mean, shut us down. Wow, wow. An apple away keeps the doctor away, right? Unless you got, you know, HIV or cancer, doesn't really help, but, so let's, you know, we can get into it. God, is there any less sayings or like, uh, yeah. Yeah, but that one was not true

Is there one that's less true than that? Is there one that's less true than that? That is maximal false Maximum false. Yeah. Yeah. There's no least true. Which one there is an Armenian one where they say eat all your food You're gonna have an ugly wife. No, that's actually not as true. They say that? Yeah. The Apple one's even less true though. That's a good one to make kids eat their food though. Yeah, but you...

There's utility to that at least. But also I love sayings that like probably sound good in a different language and then you have to say them in English and there's like not a good translation. And you're like, oh, that sounds horribly awful. Like in Armenia or whatever language they speak, I don't even know, but like they would speak it and it would probably sound like not sexist and beautiful.

And in English it's, eat all your food or you're gonna have a bitch. You know, gave it the accent. Had to give it the accent. That's how Armenians talk, bro. There's no way that an Armenian can come across and be here and then learn English and then not talk like this dog. Is it dog at the end?

Yeah. Armenians got confidence. Dude. It's crazy. It's wild, it's great.. Dude, it's crazy. It's wild. It's great. I love Armenians, dude. I mean, wild. I love Armenians, bro.

They're so fucking funny and fun. They're like the newer in America. They're like the newer version of Italians were I think when they first came over. When the times first came over, they're like, we are a stronger people. Like we stick together. That's like exactly, all the Armenians I know are very much like that. Yeah, yeah.

The only ones I don't like, I'm kidding. No, so yeah, so that's, but so that's, you know, anyway, enough about that. You know, I talk about Armenians and sometimes, and because we knew a lot of Armenians growing up. A lot of people have zero Armenian friends. Yeah, because it's such a specific, like they're not on the East Coast. No, you know what else is like that about growing up where we grew up? What? Mormons. Mormons. A lot of people have never met a single Mormon. True. Yeah, right. Yes, the one, right. Mormons,

Armenians, and that's it. I thought you meant What there were a lot of where we grew up? Well, the other one is Koreans it but yeah, but Koreans are everywhere, right? But I was overrepresented. Yeah, those are great. We basically went to Korean high. Yes. Yes. Yes. We went to KI. Yeah, KH Ki Thinks high the word high begins with an I. We went to K-H-S. Goryeong. A Korean boy band, K-H-S.

I guarantee you there is one. Guarantee. Wait, the internet. Chingy. The internet went out, it's back. You said it's back? It is back. Yeah, it's been out for three hours

and it just came back right before the show started. Ding dong ding dong, bing bing bing ding ding ding ding bing bing. Lost your mind. That's the stupidest thing that you've ever done. I'm gonna be honest. I have two questions. One is, do you think this black beanie looks okay on my head? I have a well thought out specific answer. Great. It's not just yes or no.

Great. I mean, I didn't's not just yes or no. Great. I mean, I didn't say only say yes or no. You wanna hear the whole answer? Yeah, I mean, unless it's gonna take 50 minutes. It's not gonna take a long time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. It looks great on your head

except it's with the wrong outfit. Yeah, that's what I think too, honestly. You did? Yeah. Oh, okay. So it doesn't look right, but it looks right if I... Now tell me this. Okay, he puts on a black turtleneck.

I got, yeah. Same beanie. Yeah, that's gonna be way better. Same brand. Yeah, that's gonna be way better, way better. Way better. And now I'm the blue man. What would be the best is orange or like...

Dang, I have orange. I know you do, dude. And you just messed up. The only other one that I brought is purple. Red would be really nice too. Like lavender. Oh, you're saying all colors I didn't bring. Put on purple, let I have orange. I know you do dude. And you just messed up. The only other one that I brought is purple. Red would be really nice too. Like lavender. Oh, you're saying all colors I didn't bring. Put on purple, let's see purple.

Okay. What kind of beanies are those, man? Oh man, so jealous. Big Bud. Big Bud. Big Bud Press. I mean. They make truly great clothes, but I really love their beanies.

Well, did they ever send you stuff? No, but they might now. Well, yeah, well maybe hook Matt up. He loves your stuff. Yeah, I'm like literally modeling your stuff. Big Bud. Big Bud Press. I like Big Bud Press. Get it now at bigbudpress.com.

Yeah, that one's good. That one's good. That might be best. Ricky, leave it. Okay, I will. I don't know. And what's with all... Thank you for helping settle that. What's with all the young Korean musicians, stars, like dying and killing themselves?

Oh, really? Yeah. Oh my. There was another one last week or something. Yeah. Oh, really? He was like my age and he just ding-dong ditched life. You know?

Really? Yeah, dude. The least respectful way of saying someone made a slower side. Dude, did he? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but I have to tell you, just the cops knocking on the door. Hello, ma'am, your son. It's just that he ding-dong ditched life. No!

No! No! Wow. You know? The acting. You know the game? When you were really young, you would, uh, ding, you'd walk up to a house and HAHAHAHA! So you'd ring the bell, you'd knock, and before they would get there HAHAHAHA! You'd run and then you you hide in a bush like across Sean Penn and Mystic River and

And then you'd watch they watch you and it would be so embarrassing Dude who is with me on this? Man who remembers the Mystic River trailer? Yes! Yes! When Sean Penn goes, I do! That's my daughter in there! I do, dude, I do! And the shot from above? I do! Oh, wow. I remember it! I didn't think you would, I thought he would, and the mic's too high for him to answer. Yeah, it is too high for him to answer. I remember. Oh, but why so casual about it? This is a specific thing that we all remember. I remember, that's weird that we all remember. From a movie trailer?

That's my daughter in there! Yeah, and also there's no way Anthony knows because it's a movie that came out before 2022. Oh, he thought it was a board game. I've seen Mystic River. He thought Mystic River. You've seen Mystic River. He thought when you're involved with Mystic River,

you're going like this, okay, jump two spaces and give me the size. I swear to God. No, I've seen it. You've seen the movie? Yeah, the guy from Shawshank is in it. Yeah, yeah. Dude, I, I.

Tim Robbins, he won a fucking Oscar for it. Such disrespect. The guy from Shawshank's in it? And you know what? Dirty Harry directed it. Dude. Oh, dude, the guy from, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The guy from, fucked it up, you know.

Fucking it up so bad. I'm trying to think of the name of the movie, God damn it, you know. I did not like that movie. What movie? Mystic Rift. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. Oh, okay.

I hate it. All right, everyone loved it. I hate that movie with the passion that I, I hate the movie with such a passion that I forgot the name of the movie that I wanted to say. Gran Torino, fucking got it. That movie I have not seen, but I heard it's terrible. Gran Torino?

Yeah. It's a wonderful defense of the Hmong community of Michigan. I kind of liked it. Oh, OK. I thought it was, dude, we're getting to submissions right after this. But he, Clint Eastwood was going to retire from acting. At the end of that movie, he gets

shot up doing something so heroic. I was like, you just did the illest retirement up from acting ever. And then he comes out with the mule and he looks like a 90 year old lesbian. Well, that's what happens when you get shot on camera. Yeah, he's like, I'm still gonna act. And you're like, no, dude.

Actually. You went out on tippy top with that ending. Cut, that's a wrap on my career. If only. Actually. The worst Clint Eastwood. He has a new movie out. Bro, he'll never stop. with that ending cut that's a wrap on my career if only actually if the worst Clint Eastwood is a new movie out bro he'll never stop even when he's dead he won't he'll be like yeah you know though AI they'll put all of his movies into a machine they'll just spit out movies made by Clint Eastwood in the coffin next to the monitor you have to say action Clint's dead

Here we go, mr. Harry, it's Anthony, um, all right, let's get into submission. Yeah Hey Chris and Matt got a question for you guys Have you guys ever gone on a road trip with your boys and it's your buddy's car He picks up the group and the gas tank is on empty. He fills it up and he charges the group. Then you go out on the road trip, you empty the tank. You come back, you fill the tank up again, and he charges you again. That's funny. So you've paid for two tanks of gas, but you've only used one tank of gas on the road trip.

Well, this happened to me and the boys did not understand it. And I tried to explain that it's like renting a car. When you get the car, the tank is full. And when you return it, you fill it back up, because that's the amount of gas you've used. So question is, have you ever dealt with this? And how do you explain it to your boys so that you're not an asshole?

So he's not the guy, or he is the guy? I think he is the guy, right? In either case, he's on the guy's side. He says that you do have to pay for the gas before and after. No, he's not saying that. He's saying the guy is charging for two tanks of gas. I know, I know. He is saying that. And he is saying he had to explain it to his friends that didn't agree. I thought that's what he said too. Yeah, he said both of those things. So he can, and I figured it out, and he is not not the guy but he's agreeing with the guy.

Yeah, it's so weird. No, it is weird how he did it. He framed it like he was going the other way with it. So here's the thing. Yeah, yeah, right. Either way, we still have an answer. So I have an answer and the guy is, you know, shit's tight, I know, right? Like everywhere and everyone's kind of hurting. Um, but yeah, I would, I would, I would probably say that is more

correct than the opposite. Uh, which is what the driver pays for everything. The driver pays for it. But the guy has a, the guy does kind of have a point. Yeah. If you, if it's his car. No, no, no. I'm sorry. I'm saying the opposite.

It's not a clear answer. Because the guys who get in the car, if you don't have gas in your own car, that's not our fault. Yeah. Right? And you're not renting a car. Yeah. The guy's driving.

Yeah. OK. So I definitely understand chipping in to put gas in it when it gets lower while you're driving. Yeah. That for sure. But I would say that the other way is probably more right his way.

I think there's a, if I'm totally understanding everything, I think there's a third way and it's that all of us pay our fair share What is your fair share the you cut it either? however many people there are in the car if there's five people in the car, right let's just say and the charge of the gas is 85 bucks right you just divide that by five I understand but that that isn't, that's, but if you start on empty, he's saying.

Yeah. That's what he's saying. I have a friend. I see, yeah. I have, I would, okay. Any Phillips, I think you do. If I was driving, I would not ask people for money, but that's just because I probably wouldn't think about it.

I understand I'm in a different situation. I've driven and people are like, let me get this tank. Yeah, true. Which is how it should be. Which is nice. That is how it should be. If you're not driving, be like, let me pay for it. 100% of course.

Now if they did, if I was driving and they tried to fill it up twice and I let them fill it up once, I'd be like, oh no, you got it last time. Don't worry about it. Yes. That's what I would do. Yeah. But I have a buddy who I never will forget this dude. I will never forget this. You know what I'm going to say?

Yep. Yep. I had a buddy who we went to Starbucks and he was like, oh, I'll get it. And I was like, oh, wait, he said, he said, oh, I'll pay for it on my card. You give me the money. Right.

I said, okay, sure. Sure. I gave him the money and he paid with a gift card. I mean, yeah. No, that's crazy. No, I don't think so. Really? What are you saying? That he should have paid for the whole thing I mean, yeah. No, that's crazy. No, I don't think so. Really?

What are you saying? That he should have paid for the whole thing just because it's not real money? It was a gift he didn't pay for anything. He hasn't paid for anything. He got it as a gift and then said, I'll get it. Right, you know, I get what you're saying. By the way, I knew he had a gift card. He was like, I'll get it.

Yeah, and still doesn't. And then asked get it. Yeah. And it still doesn't. And then asked for money. Yeah. It doesn't trigger me the way you're describing it. But I mean, I see what you're saying. Look, he's making money. He's making money on a gift for him. Oh, wait.

He's making money. He's not losing any money. He's making, by the way, making $3. But here's the thing. It is literally all the same to you. But it was all the same to him too. But no, it's basically, do you wanna? It is all the same thing to me, but that's what he thought, which makes it like, fuck you, motherfucker.

I get it, but think about it this way, would you rather give your three dollars to your friend or Starbucks and suck on the crank of the fork? Come on, man, I you rather give your $3 to your friend or Starbucks and suck on the crank of the corp? Come on man, I'd rather give it to my friend unless he's going to ask for it because he wants to pay for it with a gift card. That's the right answer. Give it to the corporation and I'll suck the crank all day long.

Right, right, right. If you're going to be like that, I will literally get on my knees and suck the crank of the corp. Yeah dude, give me a break. Yeah. That was so, I can't, I mean I I can believe he did that cuz it's him. But I can't believe it, and I was with another guy, and he did it with him too. Wow.

So he was making cake, dude. The guy was just making racks. Next day, he bought that Starbucks. He showed up in a Corvette the next day. With a Machado. So, hey guys, you wanna go shopping? I'll get it. It was my birthday yesterday.

So, and then we talked about it, me and the other guy afterwards. And we were like, and that was when the guy said, he made it like a bandit. And now I always think that. And now I use that when anything's like this is happening. Made out like a bandit? Yeah, even though that's something mom would say growing up.

It's not like the guy created it. I've heard it before, but when the guy said it, I was like, yeah, that's what solidified in my mind. Anyway, that's boring. So yeah, it's just a little cherry on top of the story. It is what it is. It's more complicated than you made it out to be Mr. Submission Guy.

But yeah, there are ins and outs, some nuances. It's tricky. It's a weird thing. Money with people is a weird thing. Yeah, it's not a clear answer, but I would say it's 60-40 that you're right. Like, that's how much I would give it, 65-35 maybe. If you're gonna make a production out of it,

I think everyone's gotta split it. Whatever number of people are in the car, including the driver, that's how you split it. I think that if you're gonna make a thing including the driver, that's how you split it. I think that if you're going to make a thing out of it, that's got to be the rule. Right, but yes. But just don't make a thing. And when people make things, you got to go with the most egalitarian fare across the

board. That is true. However, but hold on a second though. Why are you responsible? Because a car at base when you buy one does not come with a full tank of gas It's just the car. Yeah, so why do the passengers have to pay for both tanks? Technically, I would say that's actually wrong pay for both tanks. Technically, I would say that's actually wrong.

Because it takes two tanks to get there, wherever they're going, is the only answer. Right? No, it was empty. They filled up to get there and then it... Yeah. And then they emptied it to get back. Yeah, so it's all one tank kind of. They're giving the driver gas as a gift afterwards saying like, here you go. You didn't have gas when we first went on the trip. Now you do. Oh, we just filled your car up at the end. Oh, interesting.

That's real. So maybe now I'm kind of going back on it. Yeah, exactly. I'm kind of going back on it now. Now that doesn't mean that we're in tear to the car. Okay. But see, that is only if you rent a car that has nothing to do with friends driving. So I, you know what, dude, I'm coming around on this.

It's the other, it's the other way. Yeah, it's really, it's really way. It's complicated. It's like a Christopher Nolan movie. Yeah, it is complicated. Many sides to this, you know. What do you think in the comments? I won't read it. Yeah, dude, and explain it in detail. Don't be in the comments? I won't read it.

Yeah, dude. And explain it in detail. Don't be like it's this. I'll read it. It gets simple or something. Because it's not simple. It's not simple, that's for sure. It's not simple.

All right, next one. Hi, Matt. Hi, Chris. Hi. My name is Tiffany. Midwest. I have had a question that's been weighing on me for a while. I work 12-hour shifts at a hospital.

So when I get out of work it's usually pretty dark and I have a really long walk to my car at night and I think constantly what would I do if I were like attacked by somebody on the way to my car and I always think I'll start saying some really crazy shit and that'll work and that'll get them to leave me alone. So my question is this, if someone were to be attacked, what could I do that would most efficiently get a guy to abort? Good question. I'm glad you phrased it like that because no matter what you're cooked. And, uh, I thought about, like, I love when people, I don't love it, but like, when people, like Kristen said this the other day, she was like, when my, um, I had a dream that she got kidnapped and I told her about it.

And she was like, if someone tried, I would kill them. If someone tried I would kill them and I'm like, oh You don't get Physics and she she's rank if someone tried to kidnap her. Yes. She'd kill. Yes You don't she have that Liam Neeson spirit or what? That doesn't matter If a man tries to steal a woman, okay, she's cooked. Well, this is, yeah, OK, well, that's the fetus dancer. She can't just stand there. No, no, no.

Go ahead. But so that's why I say I like the way you phrased it, because what will give you an opportunity? I think it's one of two things. Piss and vomit and shit yourself. Some kind of easily accessible weapon to you at all times, like pepper spray. Or one of those brass knuckles that's also blades.

Okay, that sounds- Like those big round ones that like a guy in blood sport would have. Sounds crazy complicated to keep that in a purse or something, but- And then look at the guy like this. I don't know about that one, but pepper spray's available to you. It really doesn't feel good and

You know, I don't I think it is that has a high effectiveness rate Yeah, but also what you brought up is an interesting point. I Have I know someone who? She calls it like the crazy dance like when she's in danger senses She's in danger or in the future ever does sense when she's in danger, senses she's in danger, or in the future ever does sense she's in danger, she just starts acting like a completely crazy person and like convulsing with her body and like.

She always does this too soon, but yeah. It makes it, it makes it. Ma'am, you're just in line. You know, theoretically it makes the person not someone you wanna target because they're such a wild card that's good yeah um i uh i would say i got you right where i want you hey oh you have 30 seconds and then make up some shit like this is exactly what I planned for you just get shot in the head

Yeah, I don't know about that one. No, I don't know. Um, yeah, I think that uh, Yeah, that that's probably the best thing wanted to uh wanted to maybe do both You have to really sell it. You can't just like You gotta be yeah, you gotta really go for it. You can't be like looking out the corner of your eye, what's he doing, what's he doing? So you just gotta go. Just do it.

It's your only chance. Yeah. All right, next one. What's up, man? Chris. Yeah, how subidge is it with those hand dryers in those bathrooms, those Dyson hand dryers where you have to put your hands in like this? Yeah, for sure.

How subidge is sure. That's the bitch. That's crazy. Well, dude, men should never ever have their hands like this, ever. Ever. Like what? Like this, in any way, shape. Like this. Well, you can't have it like that.

When you look at your nails, you do that. This is what a woman does. Men should never. If you're chopping, dude, there's MMA. Everything about this is what a woman does. Your men should never, if you're chopping, dude there's MMA, everything about this is wrong. Okay. If you're a man, you don't do that. There's so much video of me going,

doing my, you know what I mean? But I'm just saying it's more for fun, but like if you, you don't do that period. So if this is so bitch, look, look, the shoulders too. The answer is yet, the answer is extremely um simple answer I don't though and also those things the amount those things don't work That's crazy is not worth it. I know Fix the environment a different way. Yeah

Right, you know, right like hey the honestly and I mean this You know? Like, hey, honestly, and I mean this, if they just stopped making underwear, so nobody wears underwear anymore, that's probably good for the environment, okay? I'd rather that. I just won't wear underwear for the rest of my life as long as I can always have towels in the washroom.

Like, it's so annoying. You go out, you're still walking out like this. You gotta wipe on your shirt, your shirt's all wet. You gotta piss on it. Your hands are never this. Yeah. You got to wipe on your shirt. Your shirt's all wet. Your hands are never dry. No. Even two times, they're never really dry. Two times?

When you hit the thing? No, yeah. Yeah. No, no, no. You've got to do it like four times. There's always somebody behind you, so it's like, all right. Yeah, it's so stupid. Oh, you know what the worst is, though?

The reusable towel thing. Yeah, I have. Which people swear that it's clean. They're like, no, actually it's clean. They're like, actually, it's clean. Why would they do that? It's not clean. You talk to somebody about that, knows about it. They're like, it actually scientifically is. You're like, OK. OK, dude, it's there's a towel in there and I keep rolling it out.

I've got nine people's body odor on my hand now. Yeah. And germs. Right. Well, that's kind of yeah. It's bitch. It's a it's a ten bitch yeah you know you but this guy asked yeah ten out of ten yeah my next one so Chris it's a Matt yeah well co-worker problem I'm a restaurant server and my co-worker she'll the only dialogue I really have with her is when she's like pointing out things I've done wrong.

And she'll be the littlest things too. I understand like if you need to correct me, like I'm all ears, like thank you, like so I could do my job correctly. But the other night it was like extremely busy. And you know, I polished silverware. That's one of my duties. And I put a spoon in the wrong place, a single spoon, and she stopped everything she was doing just to tell me that.

And she does things like that pretty often. And yeah, it's just really unpleasant to work with. And like, should I confront the situation? Like, should I tell her or like what should I confront the situation like should I tell her or like how what should I say because also? I just got like the shifts that I want that I've worked really hard for like I fought for the hours that I have now And I don't want to like all of a sudden have a problem with my co-workers, and then my manager be like Okay, well it seems you can't get along with your co-workers, so I just don't know how to go about it I'm trying to play it safe. I'm also keeping it peaceful. Also, she just kind of turns into a tornado when it's busy

and she'll be rude to customers, I noticed. She's real and pleasant to work with. Oh, wow, okay. Anyways, thanks for Lifeline. I look forward to every Sunday. Chris, congratulations, I've been listening since 2019. I got the safari crunch Wow, so uh, yeah, let me know you think thank you. Thanks, bro. I feel like um

If it's if she's eating time doing it you definitely should say something be like sorry, it's so busy right now You know like if she's just saying like, oh, this spoon goes that way, who cares? But if she's like, just so when you know, hold on, you put the spoon in the wrong place, and then this spoon should be over here, all this was over here. And it's like a tornade. Then you gotta have a conversation with it. You know, maybe do it afterwards. You don't do it while it happens. But be like, you know, sometimes it's so busy and I can't blame it on you. Just be like, I can't even even like I'm so focused on this

Like when you talk I'm like I can't even register it. So maybe tell me afterwards or something. I mean, that's not dick That's not dick, but you know, you know, it's gonna get misunderstood. It's so tricky doing you don't know is it sure There's a chance it doesn't but I'm just saying like the likelihood in my mind is that's going to lead to further conflict. Yeah, maybe. And lead to what he's saying being potentially... My question is, did he, he didn't say that she's like above him on the... No, she said, he said coworker. If he was above her then, or she was above him, then okay.

That's exactly, it's like dude. You're not She's not your boss and Yeah, it does come down to if she's just pointing it out and helping you Great, but she can't be like a scold right she's not in charge of you Right right at all so you you obviously have to Take it on a case-by-case basis, but I would say maybe when the most egregious one happens next time, maybe don't even bring it up on the spot.

That's why I said, yeah. Maybe bring it up later and be like, hey, I just wanted to talk to you about this. We seem to maybe not be on the same page sometimes. I'm real easy. You can just say the thing and I'll remember it. I'll fold it right back into my how I do things. And we can just keep rolling.

Especially when it gets busy, you know, we don't just slow down for anything. Yeah. Right. I can keep up. Make it about like almost you first. I said that too. But OK.

So. I just hate being redundant. But. OK, but. Okay, well. Okay, so texting me, fuck you. Texting our parents. No, yeah, I know, I said it different. I know what you're saying. Yeah, I agree, yeah.

But that's, yeah, that's true. Just be like, yo, when you could, oh, dude. You know what, if you're super annoying back and you're just like, you know what, when I'm working, I'm in like this mind space. I'm like so zen that when you say something, it totally discombobulates me. So just know if you do that, it's ruining the chi of the moment and the she just stopped talking all together.

Could be, could be. Yeah. The chi of the moment. I don't know, figure out the right words. All right, next one. What's up Chris and Matt? This is Steve here from Cape Town South Africa. I absolutely love the show I'm turning 30 this year and I have twin boys being birthed at the end of June just before my birthday. They're my first children and I am so so excited. Wow.

Went to the doctor for a 20 week scan or 21week scan and we found out that one of the boys is going to be born With only one kidney which according to the doctors and signs worry about but as you can imagine Yeah, slightly terrified sure and I just wanted to find out Chris You know if you had anything with your kids That that made you nervous actually around the birth before the birth afterwards and you can give advice to that made you nervous around the birth, before the birth, afterwards, and you can give advice to a new dad or a dad-to-be. Look forward to it.

Love you guys. Cheers. That's a great question, and yes I did, dude. When Calvin was not born yet, the doctor had to sit me down and say, I'm pretty sure he's gonna be so sick at the guitar. And I was like, I fucking hate the guitar. How did he know that?

Because he was in the womb like this. And I was like, I fucking hate the guitar. How did he know that? Cause he was in the womb like this. No, I, when Calvin was born, this is very common. And God, it wasn't this, but I get what you're saying. But he was born with jaundice. He was born jaundice or how would they say it? Jaundiced. That's super common and it's totally.

Very common. They fix it. They don't not fix it, they just keep them there for a little longer under the lamp and they're like, we fix it. But it's your first kid, or it was my first kid and these are your first kids. So you just, you make,

like this wouldn't have happened with Billy, like, cause I've already experienced it, but it still would have a little bit. You want your kid to be like, not at all anything, but cool, take them home. But you just have to, these doctors do what they do. This is what they do. You do not do this.

You're not a, you made kids, but you're not like a kid maker. You don't do that every day. That's not do this. You're not a, you made kids, but you're not like a kid maker. You don't do that every day. That's not your thing. This doctor every day is dealing with this. If a doctor looks you in your eye and says, it's okay, you can focus with one kidney, it's okay. I totally get that you would be stressed

because then you go, oh, well, what if something goes wrong with that kidney? But try to allow yourself to, because here's the other thing too. The more you stress about that, the less you're experiencing and enjoying the moment. And that is the most beautiful moment in your life. So, um, and your child's life. So don't ruin it, you know? Uh, but yeah, it's, I it. But yeah, I was that way.

And I speak this from experience, not with the kidney thing, but the jaundice thing, which is, it's silly now that I think about it. I'm like, man, that's, somebody called me, they had a kid and they were jaundice and my friend and they were like, oh man, he's a kid, jaundice, I don't know, I was like, oh my God, I have the same. And they were like, really?

Oh, that makes me feel much better. I was like, yeah, it's nothing. Yeah, that is extremely common. And there's a number of things like that, but yeah, dude. Doctor says it's all good. It's definitely, definitely all good because they air the other way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they do.

And then Calvin came out, when he came out, he was a little bit yellow, but he was going, all right. Right? And he's pretty sick, honestly. Yeah. At the guitar. He shreds. All right, right. And he's pretty sick, honestly. Yeah. At the guitar, he shreds. All right. Next one. Hey, Matt and Chris looking for some advice. I just moved to a new house in a new neighborhood in a suburb.

I've been here for about three weeks. I'm married. I've got two young daughters. They're really little. Uh, two young to have conversations with. Um, so this afternoon I was outside in the front and some neighbors walked by with their dog off leash. And I kind of had some words for them. And now I'm not going to say what kind of neighbor. Okay. It was a white boomer neighbor. Yeah, they were talking. They were walking ahead of the dog and didn't see the dog. And so I said, Hey, is this your dog? And he apologized and said, Oh, you know, we always pick up after him and said, you

know, I don't care about the dog taking a shit. Where's its leash? Uh, there are leash laws in this town. I have little kids here. I don't want dogs off leash running up on them. And they said, Oh, you know, he's a good dog. He's really nice. And I said, it doesn't matter.

I don't know your dog. You need to keep it on a leash. Yeah, and so they started asking me You know what my name was and if I just moved in and if I was renting away Yeah, yeah Yeah, they they told me their names that that they own the place on the other side of the neighborhood that in their backyard I guess kisses our backyard and so You know it seemed like they were kind of talking down at me for renting, because

they probably bought their house in the 70s for $62. Roll an echo way first. Yeah, so deeper. But anyways, a few questions. One, was I in the right to call them out or not? I didn't threaten them or anything like that. But you know, I had to let them know what time it is. Yeah, I'm not I'm not an aggressive or angry person

I'm very passive not a lot of shit bothers me, but you know, my kids safety is an exception Yeah, so am I an asshole for calling them out? I don't and what do you think would be a better way to handle this situation? I don't think additional context is the third time this has happened in three weeks Oh, so it seems like it might be a norm for dogs to walk off leash here. Different people. The others were a pit bull and a German shepherd and I had words for those people too. So I feel like maybe I'm developing a reputation in the neighborhood. But you know my wife thinks I need to be a little bit nicer

about it. So what do you guys think? Wives will say that. I mean, look, the only, look, I think you're right. Hands down, there's no argument here, especially it's the law, right? But I think that if there were any, you know, what do you call it? Advice, advices, if there's any advices that we have, it's that I would have is I would come at it more as, you know, maybe this is my thing, but I, it makes me really nervous when the dogs I don't know are around my kids if they're not on a leash.

So I just would appreciate it, right? I get wanting to come out and be like, hey buddy, like those dogs need to be on a leash. I get that because I do think what those people are doing is wrong, but you might get a better outcome if you come at it from a, yo, I know this is my thing. So it's like the ends justify the means. And so, but I understand that you might not wanna do that

because you are in the right, I believe. But I do get what you say, why? I'm just laughing thinking about how, well, first of all, how I absolutely 100% agree with you that he's 100% in the right. But I'm laughing thinking about how there's simply no way I could do it. I could do it.

You wouldn't, you wouldn't. Yes, I would. I would be like, hey, is this your dog? Yeah. Like get a fucking leash on it. You're ahead of your dog. Who does that? Yeah.

Get your dog. It's near my kids. This is a fucking pit bull. Like come get it now. Do you think you'd say it like that? I might not do the now right right right right right? But like dude like I this is like a dangerous situation. These are my little kids I don't give a fuck who you are how good your dog is this is not how it goes buddy

You don't walk ahead of your dog. Oh dude Mark and he's like no my name is Ben. And you say, oh, that's right. Cause I don't fucking know you dude. So how can I trust you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, you're Mark Sampson. You're Mark Sampson.

You're him because I know you. Yep, yeah. If you want me to trust you. And this is Fido, hi Fido. Dude, imagine if that's how you dealt with some shit. Nobody would ever walk by your house ever again, even no dog. No, I'm not saying I would try to be as nice as I could

because here's the thing, I would start with that and then if they gave me any kickback, then I know it's on, right? But if I start when it's on, I start thinking about like, what if the cops eventually come? Well, he came, maybe he'd think, dude, if you genuinely are like,

I just asked you, I said, this is the law, and I was like, I know it's my thing, and you win, you win, you win. No, it's a much better way to handle it. But I'm not saying I'm you know, I know it's my thing and I you you you win you win you win No, it's a much better way to handle it, but I'm not saying I would be able to do that I might be especially was a pit bull. I don't give a fuck dude German Shepherd Gorky's I seen a fucking Belgian Malinois Fucking made it up do the craziest shit. They're really close similar to German Shepherds. Mm-hmm And it's it's just it's not a matter of,

oh, is it a good dog or not? No, it's what the dog does. It's what the dog is bred to do, and sometimes, dog gonna be a dog, period. And you're not even talking about DMX, and you're not even talking about attacking necessarily. It's just when the dog's like, oh, oh, oh, and then just knocking the two- old over his head, like,

yeah, it's, it's the person is that person is an asshole. Yeah. You know, maybe they went home and realized like, uh, he's right. I was an asshole. So maybe give him the benefit of the doubt, but that's fucking bullshit, dude. No way, dude. People like that think because they've been living there longer, their way is like Asking them to change it is like crazy But dude, it's a neighborhood. It's not your yeah. No like I'm getting mad at yeah

It's it's bullshit. I Someone if I mean even Calvin he's five now, but like Billy, oh my God, I would be like, listen, Mark Sampson. Make this dangerous situation stop, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I don't even, you know. Sometimes with my dogs, I'm like, all right, Billy, that's enough. But also just bigger dogs are like, you know,

everyone acts like, oh, the dog is only an asshole if the owner doesn't raise it right. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. But pit bulls heads are like a fucking pumpkin, okay? So if it wants to be a dog, it's gonna be a problem, right? A fucking Havanese, it takes 30 of them to even bother me. Yeah. Right?

So like, don't be all like, pit bulls are friendly. I don't give a fuck. No. I don't care. If my Yorkie was the size of a Great Dane, get it away. Yeah. Yeah. It's just, it's a not, it's so annoying when people are like, Pipples are actually, dude, shut the fuck up.

Oh, oh dude, it's the owner's problem? Guess what? Still don't give a fuck. Yeah. Still don't give a fuck. Do you know why? Cause who's the owner? You? Oh, that's cool, Mark. Actually, my name is Ben. That's right. Cause I don't give a fuck do you know why because who's the owner you oh that's cool mark actually my name is Ben that's right because I don't fucking know you yeah that's good dude on steroids a lawyer in the closing arguments and that's how I acted we got a hand it made too much sense yeah I mean you're not in the wrong. The end.

Yeah, dude, that's that's I didn't mean to fire on all cylinders right there, but that was I did, though. And that was that's fucked up, bro. Yeah, no, none of that filters crazy. None of that. Yeah. What's up with that? Didn't want didn't want to be noticed by his neighbors. Oh, yeah. Next one. Hello. I thought this would be an interesting conversation starter for the both of you. I'm the kind of person where I can't keep cash on me or I just always end up giving

it away. Whether someone's in a bind or I pass by someone who's homeless, I just, I don't know. I can't. Or if someone's in need of something, like I always keep extra leashes in my car, towels. I don't know, anything in case of an emergency or if I find a loose dog or something. A condom is not for me.

In case I find a loose dog. Do you guys wanna fuck? No? My friend who's always with me, I often get stuff for free. And she said, dude, I think it's because you're always like giving. So you're receiving things in return. And my question to you was, are you someone who believes in, you know, good karma? Are you someone who, you know, just believes in coincidences?

I'm someone, a firm believer. What goes around comes around. Firm believer in good energy. You receive good energy if you give it out. Just wanted to know your thoughts. You both seem like people who have very, very good vibes. So also, Anthony or whoever cropped my last video when I said I had been to 100 movies with my fiance and I'm only a little bit butthurt, but it's fine. Bye.

Did you talk too long? Anyway, look, oh, I know what you're talking about. You cropped it. Okay, so here's what I think, okay? It's always annoying when someone brings up karma, period. That doesn't mean it's not true, okay? If you put good energy out into the world, that radiates into other people, good energy for the most part. Okay. That there is truth in that.

All right. There is no truth in, if you put good energy out there, you will get good energy back. You don't know what another person's thinking. You don't know what another person's been through just because you show up with smile on your face. That person could hate smile on faces. Like it's thinking, you don't know what another person's been through, just because you show up with a smile on your face, that person could hate smile on faces. Like it's really that that's that's the problem. You could say yeah I try to be the best version of myself because I want to put that out to the world because I I hope it inspires other people to do so and it probably does but

beyond that no. So in that way I understand karma yeah I think like on a person to person basis good question good energy breeds good energy but like in general what goes around comes around I mean I know that is something I'm a hundred percent out of no out of line with I've seen the best things happen to the worst people. I've seen the worst things happen to the best people. In fact, I've probably seen that way more than I've seen the best things happen to the best people and the worst things happen to the worst people.

It's just one of the weird ways of the world that like, that's a good point. It's almost like the less of a fuck you give about people, the better your life will be. It's almost like the less of a fuck you give about people, the better your life will be. It's almost like that. And I can't help but care about everyone, which is why my life is so hard. Ding dong, ding dong, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing.

Doing that after that is unreal. Yeah, I... I hate to be so downer about it, but that is my experience of the world. I do too, but I know, I wish it wasn't like that. And I'm kind of hoping secretlyer about it, but that is my experience of the world. I do too, but I know. I wish it wasn't like that, and I'm kind of hoping secretly it's not, but I think it is.

Yeah, of course. I mean, I don't expect the worst of people, but I'm not surprised when I get it. Dude, when I meet somebody who's too nice, it puts me in a shit mood, dude. Oh, see, not nice. No, no, no, no, no, no. Bro, too nice. Whatever, see, not, not. No, no, no, no, no, no. Bro, too nice.

Whatever your version of too nice is. Not, not pleasant. Not, oh, I like being around that person. I'm talking, you're talking about like, bro, hey, I'll get the fucking napkins, dude. They're so nice, it's causing you problems. It's like, to a fault. You're like, yeah, it's like, that's,

you're putting out good energy. You're still, fuck, my dark side's coming out. Yeah. Yeah. No, I don't, I said it how I said it and that's how I believe it. Just because you put, yeah, if you're in a room with a person

and you're in a good mood, that could, you know, put them in a good mood. But beyond that, putting something out into the world, thinking like, I'm gonna to get good karma back. Dude, you're not going to get that energy. That energy is going out to some other shit. Mmm. You know?

Yeah, that too. All right. Next one. Love you though. Just to clear the air, that was Mako that cut the thing, not me. Oh! Nice. I knew that, but... Mako's got a reach for it. I cut him.

Oh! I'm owning it like a boss for it. I cut him. Oh. I wanted it like a boss, dude. I cut him. Hey, hey, dude. I cut him. Yeah. Ding, ding, ding, ring, da, da, da, ding, ding, ding. You know what that is?

Yeah, of course, yeah. He was, also the way he was sitting in his chair is. Yeah. If you guys could have seen it, it's unbelievably the shit. Yeah. All right, we have seen this. Unbelievably the shit. Yeah. All right, we got. Smoke weed every day.

Matt, Chris, how's it going gentlemen? What's up? Thanks for the, all the content, yada, yada, yada. Hell yeah. Is it just me or are you extremely irritated with backseat drivers? It might just be me, but I just dropped off this chick and she, it seems like every single turn I make or made

was, oh why are you going that way? Why didn't you go this way? Why aren't you going that way? Oh you're like taking the scenic route. Oh those are all awful. There's a way to... Are you driving? I don't even know how to respond. I'm just driving. I'm just muscle memory. Basically what I say, even though I know I'm not going the wrong way, I might be taking 10 seconds out of the way. I might even be going the right way.

Yeah, and it may not be the fastest way. They just think they always think they know the fastest. No, that's... It might just be me, but that just irritates the shit out of me. I don't know what it is, but, um, but either way. I know. And it's not just you. There's it's not just you.

There it's one thing if someone's like, yo, slow down. This is like too fast. I'm, I'm nervous. Like, all right, fine. Maybe you're a pussy. Maybe you're not, but okay. I get it. But why, like, yeah, that's totally why'd you go that way?

Why this way? Dude? There's a quicker way That's so annoying dude. That's so annoying. That is so annoying even oh you're going this way and Eric Griffin would do that Oh, wow, really? He's always like, you know what you should do and I'm like for fucking you know what dude? Yeah, and then he laughs so now we have have that. So that's good. Thank God. Otherwise I would have cancer. I mean, he'll walk into a fucking house and be like, you know what you need to do is have French doors here. And I'm just like, can you just fucking first

take in the goddamn house? Wow. I mean, steamrolling Eric right now. Fuck Eric Griffin. And he's not even here to defend himself. Damn. No, he's one of my best friends, but yeah. More than anyone in my life texts me on important days

and important days of my life, like birthdays, holidays. For some reason, Eric Griffin's always on top of that shit. Oh, he is, yeah. Yeah, I know. That's so funny, that's so true. But you know what that just made me think of? Is, oh by the way, wait, before we even, today's the only day you didn't put birthdays up

on the top of the thing. And you know who's fucking birthday it is? Amazing. Mine! We didn't have internet. Wow! Made it up. So he knew because he was going to fuck that up.

Yeah. No, but also, well, this comes out March 30th, right? And your birthday is the 29th. Technicality, dude. Getting out of it. Squirming out of it, dude. Squirming out of it. You know, you do deserve a happy birthday.

It's my birthday, dude. Happy yesterday. Yesterday, yeah. So technically I guess not, but okay. But don't squirm out of it like that. What's a day late? A day late is... Also, it's mine. It's not like it was like, also, Tim Robbins, well, it was yesterday, but it would be like,

it was yesterday. It's me, dude. And Anthony would be like, who's Tim Robbins? Yeah, Anthony would be like the guy in Shawshank Redemption. The guy from fucking... Nothing to Lose with Martin Lawrence. The guy from Nothing to Lose with the guy from Blue Streak. He's also in the Tenacious D movie.

Who? Tim Robbins. He's in the Tenacious D movie. We're getting way off here. Listen, I, I believe you. I believe you, too. I didn't see that movie. I don't know why, but I do. I love Jack Black. But the the the what I was gonna say is when you have a

birthday because it made me think of it because you were talking about birthdays when you have a birthday and somebody says you gonna do something and you say what's your dream birthday hey my dream birthday honestly leave me alone yeah that's mine okay yeah no and I mean that too yeah dream birthday, honestly, leave me alone. Yeah, that's mine. Okay. Yeah, no, and I mean that Yeah, I mean that I mean leave me the fuck alone. Yep. All day All day or or or say something a regular day. You don't have to give me anything. Exactly a regular day Right do something for me Yeah, but don't don't go ahead a little bit though. Don't do too much because then I'm I don't want to feel anything

I don't want to feel like oh, I want make it a regular day put on Dateline the whole day Leave me alone Say say hi nice. Hi. How you doing great weather? Whatever the fuck and that's my dream birthday, okay? Kristen asks what do you want to do for your birthday? I say, nothing. And she says, okay. And I was like, fuck, that's so dope. Because why? Because women don't do that.

They say, oh, but I wanna do something for you. And you go, bitch, it's my birthday. Not yours. So it worked out. Well, lo and long behold days later, she said I made us a reservation and that's fine. But it's just, you know, she was so excited about the reservation.

And I go, this is your birthday. Yeah. But it's fine. One reservation and I was like, and I was like, who's all coming? And she was like, just me and you. And inside I was like, oh fuck yeah dude. What were you worried about?

Oh, I invited 10 of your friends. Oh, god. Oh, dude. Would she do that? Oh, great. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Now I got to say, you know.

What's the thing? She'd be like, I invited Adam Ray. And I'd be like, oh, I love Adam Ray. But now he's going to feel like he has to come, you know? Yeah, that's right. Yeah, I totally. Yeah. It's just the whole thing.

What's the thing from, I think it's been memed. I think it's like a really popular meme. The Mad Men scene about they're arguing, Don and Peggy are arguing, and she's like, and it's my birthday, and he's like, you're 40! It's the funniest shit ever, dude. It's such a good line reading. That's funny.

In this big ass argument. Do you know what I'm talking about, Chris? Is it the same scene where she's like, you never say thank you and you say, that's what the money's for? Yes, yes. And it's nighttime. It's the episode, The Suitcase, that famous episode.

Yeah. It's gotta be that one. I'm gonna start watching that show again. That's such a good scene. And I think about it all the time when people talk about birthdays and how I feel about them. It's like, am I 12? Yeah. I'm not 12.

Yeah. Am I 19 and I wanna go rip Ron party in and like try to fuck? Do I have a fake ID in the middle of Vegas? Yeah, exactly. No. Am I seven? No. Right.

Am I 40 going on 15, but still 40 years old? Yeah. Right. I'm 40, dude. I'm most confusing anyone has ever been on this podcast, but yes. I'm 40. I don't want a birthday.

I don't want a fucking birthday celebration. I'm an adult man. I have a question. If you singled out before you questioned, if you singled out the numbers thing you were saying, nobody would understand what you meant. Yeah. I'm just saying.

Go ahead. OK. I'm 15. I want to know. I just texted my girl about I want to get you something for your birthday right okay and then it occurred to me i got you last year i got you a pair of nike blazers the high tops yeah yeah have you worn those yeah you're really good at giving gifts stop yeah i've worn them why

no i was just wondering oh ask me after he wanted to blow you up dude he wanted to blow you up, dude. He wanted to blow you up. He thought the answer was going to be no. I think the answer is no. No, you know what the funny thing is? I have not worn them around you. And I always, not always, but for the first few months, I'm like, I do wear those, but I have never worn them around him. He's going to think I don't wear them.

Oh, wow. This one is deep, dude. And then I go like, I could wear them. And I go like, no, I shouldn't wear them if I'm not going to wear them. Fuck that. And so I don't. And then I forgot about it. But yes, I have worn them.

Actually, to be honest, they're great at the gym because they're flat and they and and and for good for for for deadlifts. How many times do you think you've worn them? Twice. I've never worn them. No, yeah, a few times, a few times. Honestly, there's some there are shoes all at my other place that I haven't worn for so long because I can't sell my house great.

It's a deeper. So anyway. Oh, it's an hour. Yeah, but you know, I will say this, man. This episode was good. You know, doing an episode and knowing that you don't have to stack them yeah is when you have to stack episodes I hate it first of all dude people were commented on the last episode, hey, why are you wearing the same outfit

as the last episode? And dude, hey, don't ask that. Do not ask that. I don't think I've ever done that, ever, just to be clear. But that's fine, that's a different thing. Sure, yeah. Hey, never ask anyone why they're wearing the same thing and I don't want to explain it, but I will. It's so obvious. But there's also

if what's weird about this specifically is that I basically wear the same thing every day except on Lifeline days I vary it up a little bit because I don't want to always be wearing the same thing. Now what you're doing is you're taking what I'm saying and you're making it a different thing. And you hate that, but I don't care. I'm saying my own thing. So that's what I wanted to add, my two cents.

That's fine that you wanna make it your own thing, but take what I said, experience what I said, live in it a bit, take a few beats, and then we can move on to your thing. So you just want the show to be silent? No, no, I want there to be some registration. Wow, at the DMV. A cop at a window.

I want there to be some registration, bro. And your license. This guy's just, I'd like for there to be some registration when he walks up to your window. But yeah, so, you know, but the thing is, is that, you know, you don't, God, man, why don't people fuck around like that? I love my job. Like what? I love my fucking job, dude.

Okay, well, you're in 1% of the group of people that love their jobs. I know. But you know what, you, cause you can, if you're a, if you're a, like, God. You're not supposed to love your job, everybody. Just, like God. You're not supposed to love your job. I know. Just so everybody knows, you're not supposed to love your job. No, no, no, you're not.

You're not supposed to fucking do it and be happy that you're done with it. But you know what's funny is. If you're lucky enough, you love it. I always have this. Don't expect it, go ahead. I always have, hmm, I'm registering that. That's very nice.

You know, I had this thought, see that's how we do it. That's so annoying. It'd be so annoying to do that. I had this thought where it's like, dude, it's too bad I'm not whatever, life coach, lawyer, you name it, whatever it is. Cause I would be so like good and make people laugh and then I go, oh yeah, that's why I'm not that and that's why I'm a comedian.

But I always have that first thought. I'm like an idiot. I go, man, if I was a fucking police officer, we'd have so much fun. That's too bad. I go, no, oh, that's why I'm doing the best thing I should be doing. I always, I can't ever phase that first part out, which is so dumb of me. I'm not yet doing the thing that I'm destined to do, which is to be, as long time listeners and watchers of the show will know, I'm going to be Tony Robbins 2.0 one day. Is that what you're gonna call yourself? In the near future. Could you imagine you're gonna call yourself that?

No, it would be Matt D'Alia and then in parentheses, Tony Robbins 2.0. He'll probably sue me, but it's all good because I'll be rich. It should be Tony Robbins 2.0 in parentheses Matt D'Alia. it's all good because I'll be rich. It should be Tony Robbins 2.0 in parentheses of Mattalya. Hahaha. Um, you could have bet me four million dollars. I knew you'd laugh at that. Uh, I'll consider it. I'll consider your suggestion. But I'll do what I want in the end. Oh. Alright, well, we already have an episode named Tony Throbbins, so it can't be Tony Robbins 2.0.

I suggest it's Korean High. But, um... Anyway. I said something good earlier's Korean high. But anyway. I said something good earlier. We'll probably be that. No. I'll be in Vegas. Get the tickets for Vegas. I'll be there next weekend. Come see me. ChrisLia.com. Bye.