Lifeline - 157. OnlyMoms

Episode Date: April 20, 2025

LIFELINE ✨LUXURY✨ is available at patreon.com/lifelineluxury. Extra episodes every month, no advice, all for $5. Our Patreon is also the exclusive home to all the live podcasts which we film and upload! 🤳 Want to submit to Lifeline? Go here: forms.gle/EYbqjvyy1A9r728Y9 🎧 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: apple.co/3NG2G2G 🔊 Subscribe on Spotify: spoti.fi/3NPUwoT 🔗 All our links: linktr.ee/watchlifeline TODAY we're talking about using other people's bar soap in the shower, pet peeve movie tropes, advice for people moving to Los Angeles, if being able to sing well is a talent, and if you should ever throw a couple's shower. 💚 Lifeline is the first podcast about you, hosted by Matt D'Elia & Chris D'Elia. More LIFELINE: Instagram: instagram.com/watchlifeline Tiktok: tiktok.com/@watchlifeline More Matt D'Elia: Sign up FOR FREE For Matt's Patreon for all episodes of The Private Record and upcoming drops of Matt D'Elia is Confused Book 20 or 40 min one-on-one sessions with Matt at mattdelia.com. More Chris D'Elia: Congratulations podcast: congratulationspod.com Live on tour: chrisdelia.com/tour Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

RUNK. All right, here we go. Here we go. It's time for Lifeline. It's episode 157. It's 420. It's 420. Pfft, pfft, pfft. It's 420.

And happy Easter, happy birthday to Jesus Christ. Wow, dude, 420 falling on Easter, bro. Smoke a doobalonski for Mr. Big Man upstairs. You know what I'm saying? J.C. Jesus turns 2025 today. Go like this. On behalf of the Son of God. Isn't that great? Going to hell for that.

I would love to know how many of you are actually hitting doobies on this Easter Sunday. Please comment if you are smoking a dooby. Dooby check. Are you smoking doobies this Easter? Let us know in the comments if you're smoking a doobie doobie check. Are you are you smoking doobies this Easter? Let us know in the comments if you're smoking doobies if you're if you're smoking the if you're smoking spliffs if you're If you're absolutely hit talking, let us know in the comment section below and we will get high with you La da da da da, you know So Casper Wyoming I'll be there.

Denver, Colorado, I'll be there. New York, New York. Cheyenne, Cheyenne. Cheyenne. Boston, Massachusetts, Savannah, Georgia, Atlanta, Winnipeg, Regina, Saskatoon, St. Louis, Dania, Florida, just you know what I mean? Just crazy dates.

St. Louis, Irvine, Irvine, Sp. Louis, Dania, Florida. Just, you know what I mean? Just crazy dates. St. Louis, Irvine, So Irvine, Sporbert and Irvine, Huntsville, Alabama, Miami, Florida. Welcome to Miami, Bienvenido, AmiYami, right? Maybe I get this song even more than I do. So yeah, that's what's going on. Easter, Easter, Easter. Sign up for our Patreon, patreon.com slash Lifeline Luxury.

There are many episodes up there now already. You can get in there, you can binge them. There's well over 50 by now, including two full live episodes of the show. It's quite, quite, quite, quite ill, if you know what I'm saying. Just give me the finger? No, but you're saying a lot of words more than one time.

Dude, I detest how you, you don't care really about anything except one thing and that's the amount of words I use to say things on this show. No, in the intro. So quite frankly, go F yourself. Quite frankly, go F yourself. In the intro, only in the intro. Anyway, also sign up for my Patreon,

patreon.com slash Matt D'Elia. We're about to take off, launch, get to Mars faster than Elon Musk, if you know what I mean. B-b-baby, boo-yah, boo-yah, boo-yah. It was very specific, no exactly what you mean. Uh, so sign up now while it's still free, because it's not going to be free for much longer. You can sign up for that $5 tier

and have your life improve tenfold baby! I was so out of breath in the middle and I knew I was gonna struggle at the very end but I got it in didn't I? Worst announcer. I got it in didn't I? Golfers. Merch? Yeah merch. Life.Merch.com go get a hookup hook it up hook it up with the show and let us know if you're. Let us know if you've got a spliff in your mouth right now below. It's 420. Let us know if you have that sticky icky anywhere

close to your face and you're breathing it in. Let us know if you're hitting the bong. If you've got a Coke Cannon, if you've put holes in it and are smoking with a lighter and lighting it under the Coke Cannon and then making it. Smoking with a lighter, impossible to not smoking with a lighter and lighting it under the coke can and then making it. Smoking with a lighter, you know, impossible to not smoke with a lighter. And then absolutely let us know if you've got brownies and you cooked them with some chocolate tie in it and are baking a pan of brownies and eating them later and getting

just absolutely off your ass. Let us know in the comments section. It's 420. We're, we'll be back. We're gonna pay some bills. Now let's, everyone talk about their favorite strain of weed. Would you like to go first? Chocolate tie. Sure, actually. Purple. I really only do gummies now and I do the Camino. Camino? El Camino is the brand. The brand is Camino and the kind is called, God I don't even know what kind it is. Okay, well you can do that.

Shout out to Camino if you got some Camino on the tip of your, on the tip of your, Tongue? Doobie. No, no, no, you eat it. If you eat it. Well don't eat the doobie,

but if you've got the, if you're eating Camino, let us know. What even, what show even is that? Weed tracker.com. We get fired. KS one. Oh, KALOS. Let us know if you've got a spliff on your mouth and we'll be back right after some Bruno Mars. Um, my favorite strain is-

I wanna be a quadrillionaire. White widow. There we go, we've got some white widow. White widow is the very best strain of weed ever to exist. Shout out to white widow. If you've got a white widow directly under your nose and a little bit of an inch or two out outside of your lips,

pursed breathing in, let us know. We'll be back in a little bit. We'll be back right now. We're going to get into some Rome Chapel, or whatever the hell her name is. Rome Chapel? Oh, oh. Yeah, what is that woman's name?

Chapel Rhone. Chapel Rhone? Oh, Chapel Rhone. Just Japanese saying it the other way around. We're going to be, sorry, I'm Spanish. I'm Mexican, so I say things backwards. We'll be back after this message with some Rome Chappell in Mars Bruno.

No. No. Chappell Rhone? Her name's like Chaperone, basically? That's, I mean, how? Is it Chappell or Chappell? Chappell, C-H-A-P-P-E-L, I believe. Chappell.

R-O-A-N. Rhone, Chappell Rhone. Sounds so much like Chaperone. Cool. Anyway, let us know if you got that chocolate tie mixed in your- Look at her. Yeah, she's got some good songs, dude. Nice.

There's some cool pictures of her. Yeah, Chris, name one. That one about the strip club. Yeah, dude, doesn't go like this. I'm at a strip club, yeah, yeah. What that like this. Oh, that's strip club. Oh yeah, oh yeah. What that, whatever that one is. Pink Pony Club, right? Pink Pony Club, we're going to be back after this message.

We're going to be back after this song. We're going to play Pink Pony Club. Light your spliffs and put them an inch outside of your pursed lips and right under your nose, we'll be back. It's Pink Pony Glove, Rome Chapel. Pink Pony Glove. I know you wanted me to stay.

The girls are good. Boys and girls can be. Let's look at the lyrics. I know you wanted me to stay, but I can't. Oh, OK. I know you wanted me to stay, but I can't ignore the crazy visions of me in LA. And I heard that there's a special place where boys and girls

can all be queens every single day. Yeah, hit my pants, am I right? I'm having wicked dreams of leaving Tennessee anyway. Here we go, we got it. All right. Here's Santa Monica, I swear it's calling me. So yeah. Won't make my mama proud.

It's gonna cause a scene. She sees her baby girl. I know that she's gonna scream. God, what have you done? You're a pink pony girl. Boo! No, no, no, that song's good. I would say- Okay, it's great.

I would say that the worst thing to do on a podcast is read song lyrics. I disagree. I would listen to a podcast that was called Reading Song Lyrics. I would listen to it religiously. Well, you do know what you're gonna get if you do it that way.

I got my haircut. It feels good, dude. I'll tell you what, I love having a haircut, man. And I hate getting it cut. I don't like sitting there and waiting. You know what I mean? But I am 45 now. And I'm finally getting grays.

And I mean very few on my hair. Obviously I have some on my beard. And I want, what I want is to get gray and I will not have long gray hair. And I have a question for you though. Do you think this is long hair? Yeah, that's, I mean, technically I think that is, yeah. You do, okay, okay. So then I guess I will have long gray hair.

So you're gonna... You know, like people with like really long gray hair, that sucks. I don't know though. There's some cool like... Oh yeah, it can work. Hippies and some like Christian singers who have really long gray hair that I'm kind of... Really? Yeah. I mean, that's so weird to even know a Christian singer is...

Oh, I love gospel music. I listen to that's so weird to even know a Christian singer is... Oh, I love gospel music. I listen to it and watch videos of it all the time. Well, okay. That's just who I am. And there's nobody that can... Garth Brooks. That's just who I am and there's no...

This is who I am. Oh, wow. Slick stuff. Gonna be cool stuff, slick stuff, raw stuff. Garth Brooks is... The richest man in the universe? He's one of them. Yeah. Yep, him and Bill Maher. I mean, I wouldn't put man in the universe. Yeah, one of them. Yep him and Bill Maher

I mean, I wouldn't put them in the same to most rich people in the world Anyway, you want to do a submission let's do it. Yeah, let's get in there. Yeah Make it lifeline. What's going on? Chris have been a baby since you were in an airport at Oh Dark 30 have been a baby since you were in an airport at oh dark 30. Matt big fan of your stuff with your brother. I think you bring the best out of them. Oh cool. Let's get to my question guys. When you're in a shower, which I'm just fresh out of. Okay good. When you're in a shower, it's not your shower. Say you're at your friend's or someone you're visiting. Yeah. And you see the bar of soap. I know you use The bar of salt. Yeah, I could have my first instinct and maybe it's wrong but say my parents house

And there's bar soap in there. There's I'm not saying it's a hundred percent But there is an eighty percent chance My dad's nuts were on that soap. Yeah, it doesn't matter though So just want to hear you guys' thoughts on that. Are you using people's soap that you know? Friends, relatives, whatever. Thanks, guys. I'll tell you what, I'm using people's soap that I don't know.

I don't care. Well, soap is what makes the body clean. And you use it, it doesn't matter what was on it before, as long as you put it underwater and get a little bit of a scrub and then put it underwater. Sometimes you see it crack though, and there's dirt in it and shit. In soap? Yeah, you can see it sometimes.

Dirt in soap? Yeah, like if you take a white bar of soap, it's not just white. Once you start using it, it gets to be like a crack and there's a dirt in it a little bit. I'll be honest, I've never seen that. Yeah, same. So I don't know what he's talking about.

No, what I do know is any, I've thought about weirdly, I've thought about this a lot. As long as you rinse the soap, move it around in your hand a little bit, get like the top layer moving, juicing, bubbling, and then just put that underwater, let it rinse again. Doesn't matter what was on it. The top layers are all new. I mean, it's soap. Yeah, yeah, yes. I haven't, yes, I would agree.

And also I don't care that much, but here's the other thing. Do you use soap like this, Soap? Or do you do this? That's a great question. I usually use the soap itself. Oh really? Yeah. Or rag. Oh really? I usually do it the second way. I get it on my hand. That's a lot of soap you got get on your hand to cover the- It is a lot, but then I feel like it's, I think subconsciously I'm like, it's extra clean

because I'm just super getting it off. And I'm not using it. So this way, I feel like it's a little bit nicer, not even that there ever is an expert, like it's Kristen or whatever, like who cares. But like if there ever is an expert, then they won't have to be thinking that. You know what I'm saying?

Wow, that's so weird that you do that. You're so not like that. You're so not considerate, and then to be thinking that. You know what I'm saying? Wow, that's so weird that you do that. You're so not like that. You're so not considerate. And then to be considerate in that way, about that specifically, you're such a weird person. So that's not true. I'm very, very considerate, okay? I'm very considerate.

I know you arguably better than anyone and you're still an enigma, but I can say this, you are not considerate. Well, I often do stuff like open the door for people, often. Okay, that's barely anything, but sure. Like. That's more just like regular politeness or kindness,

yeah, which you are, which you usually exhibit. Yes, I am not not. But you're not like a considerate person. You're not like, oh, I wonder how so-and-so's doing. I'm gonna go check in on him or her. Right, because that's not that person. What? That's on that person.

No, a good friend, a good family member reaches out. So deeper. Yeah. I feel like- Yeah, you're inconsiderate. That's what I'm saying. No, I just, I don't know. Yeah, I was thinking about this actually.

I was actually thinking about this last night. Exactly this. I don't want to be, I was thinking about being confrontational and how I love being confrontational. However, not if it costs something, like with family or somebody I care about. Like, I will be confrontational in a Starbucks if somebody does something,

but like, if I have to bring something up to you or like mom or something, it's hard, bro. That's not inconsiderate. No, I know. But then it was a version of that anyway, whatever. That's being a straight puss. That's what that, what you just described as being a straight puss. Only to family members.

Yeah, which is even weirder, you know. But yeah, no, if your dad, who also, who cares about your dad's balls? Yeah. It's soap. You come from them. Ultimately, the soap is gonna make you clean. It's not gonna get your dad's balls? Yeah. It's soap. You come from them. Ultimately, the soap is gonna make you clean. It's not gonna get your dad's balls on you. You come from your dad's balls.

Pause. You know what I'm saying? You do though. You pause. You were thrust into existence by the shooting out of the sperm that was originating in your dad's balls. Made it worse. Into your mother's balls. Made it worse. Into your mother's egg.

Made it worse. Of which she has a few of, not that many, but a few. And one sperm from your dad's balls, just one, there were thousands though, just straight busting. A science podcast. Busting into your mom. And just, yeah. By shooting into your mom like a rocket ship.

A street science podcast. Like Blue Origin with Katy Perry and Gayle King, just straight up into your mom's fucking pussy. And then, you know, one of those sperms survived and that's you, buddy. No, no, it's not. You can't say all that and then say, and then, you know. Oh, he does know that.

Yeah, I know, he knows, okay. Well, yeah. Just clearing things up for everybody in case there are people out there that don't know how babies are made. The guy sticks his cock with the balls under it into the woman's vagina and then the balls, they tighten and then they shoot out tons of sperm.

Little ones, little sperms. That's disgusting and demonetized. Out of the penis hole. And demonetized. And not only that, they're taking money from us. They're in our bank accounts taking money out of it. Go ahead. Yeah, might as well.

Next one. The way they treat us. The defeatist. What's up, Matt and Chris? I wanna know what your movie pet peeve is. I hate those movies when some guy, they're about to reveal some truth in the movie, and some guy will be like,

oh, so the whole time it was, and then some other guy will interrupt him and be like, the agency agency that's correct, bro One and sometimes we'll do it like multiple times the movie they will I guess they do it for a dramatic effect or something But I'm just like stop doing that. Yeah. Yeah Nobody I just think it's bad writing that is yeah, I could be wrong. No, you're right Anyway, dead, right. I don't need advices on anything. My life's perfect, so.

That's good, well your fucking sunglasses are perfect, that's for sure. So is your hair. My hair. His hair is great, he's got great hair, he's just got a cut, dude, like me. We got our haircuts recently, man. I mean, the sunglasses are the thing that is great.

No, I know, I'm saying, but I'm just saying. Yeah, I have a- Oh, there's a great number of those. The one I brought up on congratulations the other day, I can't remember what it was, but it was, you remember what it was? Ah, fucking whatever. That face alone says he does not.

One, like on the level that you're, the guy that just submitted that, was talking about is, when writers make characters say the name of the person they're talking to too much. Oh, dude, that is like almost every movie, bro. I hate that, dude. It's so annoying.

I hate that. Hey, sis. Hey, sis. That, so you know they're sisters? Right, well, yeah, but even just like, to say there's a character named Andy and somebody's talking to him and they keep referring to him as Andy

while they're talking to him, people don't do that. Are you talking about, oh okay, so you're not talking about exposition? No, I'm talking about people, when they're talking to someone, they don't intermittently continue to address them by their name. That happens in movies a lot?

They have their, all the time, yeah. Oh, I misunderstood what you said. Yeah. What was the one from Congratulations? You were saying when somebody says, when a character says you look like shit. Oh, you look like shit. Oh, yeah, yeah. And it's fucking Brad Pitt.

It's always like this. Fresh out of makeup and hair. It's always in like the beginning of the scene when like the characters, like managers, like, well you look like shit. Oh dude, and it's just like, and the guy's like, yeah. Don't ask. Rough night.

Yeah, don't ask. Yeah, feel like shit. Just fucking ladies in the movie theater creaming. Oh. You know what I mean? I was with you until that very last part. They also never say that to ugly people. It's always like, it's never like Paul Giamatti.

Yeah, they say you look like shit always to those people. Yeah. They say you look like shit Pierce Brosnan when he's fucking James Bond. Yeah. I do, don't I? The worst Pierce Brosnan impression in all of history. What is going on? What is this?

I mean, such a bad Pierce Brosnan. Is this oddball or something? So yeah, I don't like that. I don't like when, when, when someone asks someone out and someone says, I'd like that, I don't like uh... Whoa that's really specific. But it happens a lot dude. How about this one? Um... Uh... guys? Hey dude, run me over.

What do you mean? When they're looking at something. Uh... guys? And then something crazy happens? And then they cut to a huge tidal wave. Oh right, right, right, right. You know? Yeah. Fuck, dude. There's too many to list.

There are too many. What I like about that submission is that's one that I had never even thought of, but immediately struck me as yes, that's one of them. This is one of the ones I hate the most too, is when, you remember the old one, they used to do it funny in, when it's a comedy, it doesn't matter, but.

Well, no, it does matter actually, but in police academy, when the guy is like, has to tell the lieutenant something, and he's like, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm. Yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no, no, and he keeps talking, and then he gets like fucking a bunch of like duck shit on his face, and he's like, and then he's like, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm. Yeah. No, no, no, no. And he keeps talking. And then he gets like fucking a bunch of like duck shit on his face.

And he's like, and then he's like, why didn't you tell me? Like, did you? He's right when he says, why didn't you tell me? But the thing is, if you're Proctor in those scenes, you would say, Commandant. Yeah. Stop it. Yes.

There's a ton of ducks that are about to shit on you. Move. Yes. You wouldn't be like, up. But, sir. Oh, God, I hate that. Yeah, no, I hate that too. Yeah.

Proctor. Was it Commandant Lassard? Dude, I remember everything about Police Academy. Police Academy was fucking so dope. And how did they not? How did they not remake that yet? That's actually crazy. As an actual action comedy too,

not like a 21 Jump Street style. Yeah, well, oh, you mean like not just comedy? Yeah. Right, yeah. Oh, absolutely. There's no question they wouldn't do that. Yeah, oh, no question. And Seth Rogen and his partner like wrote it but didn't direct it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, next one. Hi guys I need some advice I'm moving to Los Angeles in a few months and look me up. I feel like all I ever hear is how terrible it is and how terrible the people are so the first part of this submission is I want to know what are the things that you think makes LA great. I would like to hear some positive things. And then the second part, which is where the advice comes in, is as a 31-year-old woman from North Carolina, what are some tips to help make some friends? What are the LA girls like?

I know there's a bunch of different personality types, really, what are some things I can do to meet people in a big city like LA? Okay, thanks. I wonder why she's moving. Yeah, I wish I knew too. Oh, it could be closer to me, I guess. What?

To be closer to me, I guess. Oh yeah, true. to be closer to me, I guess. Oh yeah, true. Look, LA was always, to me, the best place. And then COVID happened. And then it wasn't. Everything changed. Politically, everything changed.

Because of that, everything changed. LA is just very expensive. But the people who shit on LA, they don't really know LA or they're shitting on the shitty parts, which is like, they're shitty parts of everything. There are great reasons to live in LA. It is very expensive, so that does suck.

And if you're going to live in LA because of how expensive it is, you better take advantage of the good stuff. Now, what is the good stuff? Depends what you like. I'm not a beach guy. I don't like to go places where always when I leave, there's sand in my anus.

No matter what, no matter how many layers I wear, no matter how much time I spend on the beach, even if it's one second, you will go home and you will have sand in your anus. And I don't like that about the beach. So the beach is not my thing. Okay. Especially after you leave the beach,

then you're like in a car, sitting on sand, sitting on your ass. And it's in your anus. In your anus, yeah. Yeah, I do not like it. It's sticky. Fuck the beach. Okay, but that's just me.

If you like the beach, go. Okay, there's that. But the beaches aren't that good in LA, I'll tell you that much, okay? They are, just you gotta go a little further outside of like Santa Monica. You can't go to Santa Monica and expect an amazing beach experience.

You gotta go to like Zoom, Zoom, Zoom-a. So where would you go to then, to in LA? What's good about LA? What's good about, honestly, what's good about LA is living not necessarily right directly in LA. So you don't have to have annoying conversations with people at Starbucks. Well, the thing about LA that people who don't live there

yet or have never lived there don't really understand is that, I mean, to a degree, every city is like this, except like New York and like Paris. But it's the most like this of any city I've ever been to. There is no center of it. It's like a dozen pockets more that are very different and all smashed up next to each other. Pasadena is very close to Hollywood,

but they couldn't be more different. Totally different. Northeast LA is completely different than Southeast LA. There's really, really, really nice, really, really upscale areas right next to literal actual skid row. Like somehow these lines have been arbitrarily drawn and you're in one kind of place and then you're in another kind of place and you don't know how you even got there. Once you know your way around though, it's one of the cooler things about LA

because it is all smashed together, but there's like any kind of thing you wanna do, you can do. You wanna go on a great hike, you go on a great hike. You wanna go to the beach. You go to the beach. You wanna go to have like a great meal somewhere or get like cheap tacos somewhere. Like the range of like the prices of great food

goes from like $2 to $2,000. It's just, it's like most cities, there's great things. The bad things, you're right, since COVID, it's like Hollywood, don't live in Hollywood is the one thing I will say. No, yeah, yeah, you should not live in Hollywood. Do not live in Hollywood, proper. Which everyone does in No, yeah, yeah. You should not live in Hollywood. Do not live in Hollywood. Which everyone does in the beginning, and it's just not what it used to be.

And I'm talking about like Hollywood in Hollywood. The hills are cool, but like you can't live in the regular Hollywood. Well, I mean, unless she's loaded. But you know what? But there's apartments to rent in the hills. I guess so, yeah. But my point is, if you live in Hollywood,

you're going to have so many conversations you don't want to have with people that you don't know. There you go, that's it. That is- And it's gonna be people that make up the bad part of LA and what he's talking about. Yes. Hollywood, you're saying?

Yeah. Yeah, mostly. I mean, Beverly Hills as well, but- You're just gonna have- Beverly Hills is like the satire version of- Yeah, Beverly Hills is go fuck yourself. I can't, they're fake, they're crazy, they're not real people.

It's a different way of operating Beverly Hills over there. It just, it sucks. It absolutely sucks. It's like a joke. It's like they're satirizing themselves. It's really strange actually. The amount of lip filler, like you can't turn a corner without bumping into somebody's lips.

Yeah, there are pockets to avoid, but the good places and parts of LA are my favorite parts of any city in the entire country. Yeah, I just wish it was before COVID. That was awesome. I wish it stayed like that. God, COVID ruined it. What would you guys do to actually meet somebody if you move to a new place? What was the question? To meet somebody new or meet new people or. Oh yeah, that part.

I feel like you guys are really that interested in that. No, the truth is in LA, there are so many, and this is true, this is one of the only benefits of post-COVID, now there are like so many meetups for people that are not, it's not like remotely like a loser thing to do, like there's like meetups outside for certain screenings of certain movies

or meetups at some bar for trivia night. Was it a loser thing to do? Well before it could be argued that like only people with no friends go to those things. But now the truth is in LA, nobody has friends. Yeah, no that is true. Almost nobody has friends in this town. Yeah, they don't care about you.

And they want them, but nobody knows how to get them anymore. It's like COVID changed their brains and made them think, I don't know how to make friends anymore. It's bullshit, because yes you do. It's the same as it's always been. I don't. But there are people out there dying

for friendship more than ever. So you making friends seems to me like it won't be a problem. You just need to know where to go. And that stuff is often just on social media. Follow the various Instagram profiles of locations in LA, and you'll get all the information about like meetups and flea markets and get togethers about specific things, you will not have a hard time finding friends.

I, I, uh, If you, if you're looking for them. I wouldn't think about it. If I moved somewhere, I would just go meet people. I'd be in a place to hang out in a place long enough. And then I, well, that's true too. Yeah. That's what it is.

I think what you do is you find a place and you go there over and over again. And then you probably find it easy to be like, That's what it is. I think what you do is you find a place and you go there over and over again, and then you probably find it easy to be like, That's what I do. Hey, yeah. Hey, I see you every day. What's the deal? No, what happens is you hang out in a place, say a laundromat, coffee shop, whatever it is, you hang out there long enough, you see this people and then a crazy person walks in. When a crazy person walks in,

you look at the person that you want to know and you go, crazy, and then you have a new friend. That's true. When a crazy person walks in, you look at the person that you want to know and you go, pfft, crazy. And then you have a new friend. That's true. That's extremely true about Los Angeles. In fact, there are two or three friends of mine that I made that way basically. Yeah, actually, I've gotten sucked off that way. By the crazy person?

Turns out. Yeah. All right, next one. It's cool that you're moving to LA though. It's better to have, you seem like a cool person. North Carolina is beautiful, but yeah. You seem like a cool person and it's better to have more cool people in LA.

So that's plus one for the day, good. Hi Matt and Chris, my name is Gia. What's up Gia? I'm from Morocco where I'm currently living as a Peace Corps volunteer. But as you said. I had no idea what you said. Because it truly does bring me sanity and joy during my stressful service here. I was watching an episode where you guys were talking about Armenians and I'm Armenian,

so thank you for all the love. Hell yeah. I was born and raised in Boston, Massachusetts on the East Coast where there are apparently no Armenians. None, none. Well, I present you this cloth which shows the percentages of Armenians in each state, the highest percentage being in California, so you're right about that. Look at Massachusetts.

Then we have Rhode Island. Massachusetts. Rhode Island, huh? That's crazy. Jersey, Vermont, Connecticut, New York. East Coast. What do you have to say about that? Wow.

I'm surprised. I am too. It's so concentrated in LA, but California. I don't know if this is bullshit, but the legend it has it about Glendale is that it's the most concentrated Area in the world of Armenian people besides Armenia. I heard that that might be true though That's crazy But there's stuff in Glendale that has writing outside of buildings Telling you what the building is and it's only in Armenian.

There isn't even English on the building. Where else is there that besides Armenia? If we're serious. You know what I'm talking about? Okay, here we go. Yay! Yes, Glendale, California has the most demographically concentrated Armenian diasporic hub in the world. 40% of its population is Armenian. Wow, where does it say that? Oh my God.

While Armenians live throughout Southern California, Glendale has the largest concentration with approximately 40% of its population being Armenian. Holy shit, that's even more than I thought. This has transformed Glendale, what if it said this has transformed Glendale from a sleepy homogenous town into an athletic universe.

Okay, so that's great. Booming urban center. For serious, then it says for serious. For serious, according to a history article on e-scholarship. For serious. Every week they have a opening of Scarface, the movie. You know what I really wish I knew about shit like this when I hear a fact like this?

Not the answer of why there, but like how there. Like how did that get the hooks in and have Armenians go there? How did Armenians get to be in Glendale? Specifically, how? There were a few Armenians went there and then they were walking around and saw a fucking diamond exchange.

And then they went in there a lot, bought a bunch of jewelry, and then more Armenians were like, where'd you get that? And then they all went to the diamond exchange. In Glendale? Yeah. I think that is fake news. You do? Yeah.

Hey, what? Look at this. The fucking diamonds, so many diamonds, dog. Armenians are wealthy, huh? At least in America, I don't know how in general. Yeah. Right, most Armenians that I know. I don't know, I mean, I don't know, I guess, maybe.

I don't really know. They know how to make money, dude. You think about, when you think of the stereotype, sure, yeah, you think of like- They got like Gucci shirts and shit, right? There's a lot of Armenians in Beverly Hills too. Maybe they're coming in from Glendale for the day, you know? Who knows?

Yep. Hey, we need to go to that diamond exchange. You know? Just straight up. Hey, you want to go to Glendale? Get the diamond exchange. Why that? They like diamonds?

I don't know, I just made it up. Okay, well that's... Hey, let's go get diamonds. Here's an entire article about it. It's like pages long, but... I'll never read it. You know I would read that whole thing. And don't even come at me and say I wouldn't.

It would be a lie if you'd said that. Glendale's fucking cool though. I love Glendale. It's actually got really beautiful parts. Even though I'm a lowly white. Yeah, you're just a bullshit white guy. I'm a lowly white, but I would go to Glendale and I would kick it.

Yeah, Armenians like you for sure. What? Armenians like you. Yeah, dude, and a bullshit white guy. I'm a lowly white, but I would go to Glendale and I would kick it. Yeah, Armenians like you for sure. What? Armenians like you. Yeah, dude, and I love Armenians. My favorite Armenian, although he would get mad when I would call him Armenian, even though he was. Oh, that's weird. Very weird. Remember Narbe? I do.

Of course. Narbe and Goro? Narbe, a Disney movie. And Armin? Narbe and Armin. Armin, a Disney movie. And Armin. Narbe and Armin. Armin, Narbe, and Garo, yeah. Yeah. Come underwater.

Explore with us. Narbe and Armin. Garo literally have just huge wads of cash. I was just going to say. Narbe. Garo, at age 15, had big, fat, thick rolls of 20s and $100 bills. And would be like at a hangout, a 15 year old, just being like, look at all my money.

And we'd be like, fuck you. Hey, you shit your pants? You shit on your diaper? Here you go, bro. Hello, Narbe. Welcome to the underwater cave. Disney's Narbe. Spell how you think Narbe is spelled.

N-A-R-B-E-H. Nice. Fuck yeah, dude. Good job. Disney's Narbe, from the makers of fucking, dude. Worst trailer. The voice. Hey dog, I got 20s, what you want?

You want to go play Street Fighter 2? Fuck it. Hey. Hey, meet up at the round table pizza, dog. Here. Get, get, green, you know, I like the peppers, green peppers. Get the green peppers and the pepperonis on there.

I love how you're literally making up racial stereotypes about Armenians. Otherwise it's racist. None of that is actually true to Armenians. Otherwise it's racist. Yeah, I guess so true to Armenians. Otherwise it's racist. I guess so. You have to make it up. You're just describing an Armenian saying stuff.

I need 12 hats. That's not even an Armenian thing. I guess that's true. That is a good way to like sidestep actually being racist. Yeah, fuck you. I'm not being, not you. You're doing the voice which people think it is. It is racist, which is very racist, but no.

Bound table pizza, by the way, underrated as hell. Meet up at the Scarface outside the Scarface opening cinema and make sure to bring all your celery, just making sure. Armenians do love Scarface though. Yeah, they do love Scarface. There's no joke there. All right.

What's up, Matt? What's up, Chris? What's up? How do you guys feel about people who FaceTime in public, not using earbuds or anything like that? I know this. Using their phone on loudspeaker. I think it's rules. Fuck, dude.

More specifically though, how do you feel about people who check out voice notes on their phone also on loudspeaker? On loud? And how bitch is it when I go like this? Yeah. But that is the way to do it best. When it's loud, you can't hear it. Yeah.

But no. I have a rule. I have a rule. You can only FaceTime in public if you're doing it with your kids. Because I forgive that. If a guy's doing it with his kids and he's loud, I go, you know what?

His kids wanted to talk then or whatever. That's that. That's it. And I will do it what? His kids wanted to talk then or whatever. That's that. That's it. And I will do it with Calvin or Billy in a fucking church. I don't care. I will do it wherever. I'll try to, maybe I'll step out.

But like. On song and I'm on heart. Chris is in the back like, hey bud. Da da. Nibba da ba da da. I'm on the Holy Spirit. Da da. Yeah, dude.

I don't like it any time, anywhere. The voice note thing bothers me less because sometimes, well, first of all, the volume of a voice note is typically way lower than somebody on their FaceTime yelling into their phone. The person in the room is yelling into their phone on a FaceTime. On a voice note, you can, somebody can turn the volume

down low, put it up to their ear and you don't hear shit. But when they're on FaceTime, that tinny fucking ring will happen sometimes where they're like, yeah, you got, yeah, yeah, and you're just like, dude, come on, man. Call him back. No, it's, but it's like, it's annoying. It's really annoying when people FaceTime in public.

Really, really annoying. If it is your kid, all is forgiven completely. And I mean that. Like, I don't, I don't, it doesn't bother me. You know, because that's on the kid. There's some shitty kids though. And if you have one of those shitty kids, you should know it and step outside of the establishment you're in and not subject your shitty,

all these people you don't know to your shitty kid's voice and behavior. I don't like saying that because it's so upsetting to think about some people, but luck of the draw. Sometimes you get a shitty kid, even as a good parent, and it sucks. You still love them. Yeah, that's almost worse. Nah, everybody you know, it sucks. You still love him. Yeah, that's almost worse.

Nah, everybody needs love, even shitty people. I know, no, no, no, I know, but for you, it's like, man, I wish he wasn't shitty and I just loved him only. Like my kids, I only love them, dude. And I will, I'm obsessed with them, dude. I am actually, I am obsessed with them dude I am actually I am obsessed with him with them I I I can't even believe it how obsessed I am with them I think it's an obsession they're amazing I mean you are saying literally you said the

exact same thing five times yeah I'm. But that's how much I am obsessed with them, is that I, sometimes I'm just like this. And I think about that. And they're there. That's what you're supposed to do. Yeah, but it is so overdone. Like, whatever that connection is, that's how everybody feels about

their kids yo that is insane that is insane I know I was everybody does but that that draw to them oh man it's it's it's from what I understand as kids get a little older that yes dissipates Well, I would hope so. Because they get more and more fucking annoying as goddamn shit, you know? Yeah, but people, I got people who are five-year-olds, two-year-olds who are like, ugh, I gotta get away, I gotta get a, fuck off. Yeah, you go to a park and it's just like,

every parent is just like. Not dude. Oh yeah, really? Yeah, I saw it, yeah. Nah, not me, dude. I'm in there. Nah, that's not how you do it. You slide like this. Come on, dude. Your turn. Worst dad.

Who's that? Get that other kid out. Come on, Cal. Billy, get down. Making them cry? Trying to choke yourself. Who's that? It was already your turn. Okay, making your kids cry. Yeah, next one. Hey, Chris and Matt. Calling in from Iowa.

Love the podcast. Chris has been listening for forever. Matt, looking pimpin' pimpin'. So I'm calling in today. I'm getting married at the end of August this year. And my mom keeps suggesting to me that we do a couple shower. When she asked I said, oh no I'm good. She asked me again, oh but can we please do a couple shower? Eh. Said didn't want. Yeah, right, yeah. She asked me a third time.

I said, did it. I said, didn't want a Star Wars character. I mean, it's a bitch to ask three times. No, that's not a bitch. No, it's a bitch to give in. When you said yes. Is that she got mad at me. Mm-hmm.

Mad? Eh. Gets mad when I say no for a third time. Like, oh shit, sorry. Forgot, you're getting married again, you know, yeah But yeah No, there's nothing wrong with what you're doing Say yeah, stop asking mom Yeah, I mean look this is something that

Parents and mainly moms. Let's face it, or maybe even only moms. Only moms.com. Only moms, a new website. Hell yeah. I'm going to patent that, dude. Only moms? Let's get in there. Only moms?

And then only dads. How sick would that be? That would be for gays? Or women who want to see hot dads. I mean, gays. Yanking their cranks, you know what I'm saying? Gays, you know what I mean? Gays too.

Gay men and women who want to see dads just yanking their cranking in. Gays, that's a gay. There's no women. Any woman that wants to see a guy squirt off is just either secretly a gay man or completely just has been like through the ringer you know what I mean there's no woman that wants to see a dude just like this

maybe and dudes all dudes want to see girls like this yeah you know I mean I don't like solo girl stuff yeah okay not everybody don't mind it dude yeah I know I don't want to watch it never Yeah, okay, man. So not every guy in the world. But you don't mind it, dude. Yeah, I don't wanna watch it, I never watch it. Right, but you're not like, but women will be like, eeeeh, if a guy's like, ahem, ahem, ahem, do it. Yeah, anyone would do that, sure, yeah. Yeah, but nobody.

People would turn into fucking a goblin when they turn into a goblin. But if women walked up to men on the street and were just like, oh yeah, you'd be like, aw, what's up? No guys would be like, oh, what's up? No guys would be like, ehh, unless you're gay. In that case, you're like, rrrr, rrrr, rrrr.

You feel me? Not exactly, but I know what you're saying. I know what you're saying. I understand the words you're saying. How did we get on this again? I already forgot. What I'm saying is, if there was a Sibian set up in the middle of the street

Okay, and a woman was sitting on it. I get your point and she was going oh Yeah Every guy would stop and to end and or drive very very slow like this they don't go Yeah, that's by. They don't go like this, they don't go. Yeah. They pass by, the cameras, yeah. Look at this, look at this. Or if there was a guy in the middle of the street, just, rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Then every girl would be taking the other way.

Well, duh, dude. But that's the difference between, the difference between men and women is such a difference. Do you know what I'm talking about? It's not just like apples and oranges, dude. It's like apples and chairs. Dude, it's unbelievable. You'd never eat a chair.

You'd never sit on an apple. But if a woman did in the middle of the road, all the guys would be driving by slowly. And if a guy did in the middle of the road, all the women would be driving away and the gay guys would be there and it would be fucking boogie nights. I hesitate to agree with you

because it makes so much sense to me why women are that way and men are that way. Well, why? Well, for very basic biological reasons, that's why. I know, dude. If women wanted to have sex as much as men, and as many times as men, man, we'd still be on the wheel. What do you mean? Oh. Like, we maybe would have gotten up to the, what's the, avocacy?

So what you're basically saying is women withholding sex or making you- Is definitely why we have self-defense. Prove your fitness to them to get sex from them- It's 100% why. Has advanced human society more than anything else. Zero question. Zero question. That's an interesting theory. If these motherfuckers were getting laid more, holy shit. Dude, we would be at the poster.

If Thomas Edison was just bangeranging non-stop since he was 17. You know who Thomas Edison would be? That guy Thomas that died a long time ago. Yeah, no one remembers. You'd be like, who? Where's Thomas Edison? Who? I don't know. Well, we can't call him. Alexander Graham Bell, nothing. Where's Alexander Graham Bell? Well, we can't call him. Nothing.

Hey, where's Thomas Edison? I don't know. Can't see. We got no lights. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So thanks, ladies, for keeping it fucking private up until now. But I will tell you, it is weird how once women get more slurry, right? Slurry. Oh. Then what happens is, as the explosion happens,

like the OnlyFans sex worker explosion, really what's happening is technology is getting more and more advanced, but that's because technology is catching up with itself, and it's just, it's exponential. Take out for AI is really what I'm saying. Well, right now, men are in kind of a shit place, because so many more women are in college, and so many more women are in college and so many more women are finding

alternative paths to extreme success that didn't exist before the digital age. So men are becoming less and less necessary to these women to provide and it's causing all these fucking ripple effects and then we are led to incels. Right. You know? Yeah. Incels and whores. I talked to an incel once.

I interviewed him. It ended up being Self-proclaimed? Totally unsuitable for, yeah. Unsuitable for? To air. Oh, wow. But he had one really interesting point, which

is that social, not social media, but dating apps have led to the spike in incels, the amount of incels, way more than anything else because it used to be the case that your dating pool was not only people within proximity, but people within proximity that you actually ran into somehow, whether introduction to a friend or literally ran into. Now, it's just proximity. Because you can go on these apps, say, within 25 miles and say who you're looking for and never have to bump into them ever.

And women can choose the 1% most attractive, and then they do. And that 1% most attractive set of guys is getting all the girls to respond to them. And then the other 99% ain't getting shit. Whoa, dude. His point was kind of good. That's crazy. That's a great point.

Yeah. You got a really, really, really good point. He's speaking firsthand. He's like, I can't get even a date with any girl. And his point was pre-dating apps explosion, he probably could at least have found some women in the world who would go on dates with him. Whoa.

Because it was such a smaller pool of potential mates. Dating apps, dude, cause women are just no, no, no. And guys are at home, each no just is a little chip at them and they're just, no, until brrrr they become, you know what I mean? Blanca? Yeah. Mm-hm. Yep.

Ralph, Ralph, Ralph, Ralph. Saying Ralph, jerking off their gun to Ralph. Well, that's what happens, dude. You swipe no too many times, now I'm in the middle of the street. Ralph, Ralph, Ralph, Ralph. Such an exaggeration. Ralph. Ralph, Ralph.

Ralph, Ralph. Get clearer and clearer. Ralph. Ralph. Ralph. Masturbating in the middle of the street. Getting arrested, getting arrested. By Officer Ralph?

That's so stupid. Freeze. Officer Ralph? That's so stupid. For ease. Officer Ralph here, I've got a jacker offer. What the fuck was the submission that got us here? I don't even remember what the show is. What was? What is this podcast? It was the person calling about his mom.

Oh, oh, oh yeah, this is what I'm saying. Mothers act like, Mothers act like their children's weddings are also their weddings. That's right. And that's just the way it fucking is. Garth Brooks. And it will always be that way, the end.

So what I say to you, sir, is you're the one who asked the woman to marry you, fucking deal with it, because it ain't gonna stop. Your mom's probably gonna ask eight more times about the couple's shower, until you say yes to some version of it, OK? She ain't going to fucking buckle. These moms of people getting married genuinely believe that it is also theirs.

Right. It's truly bing-bong bonkers to me, but it's true. I've seen it so many times. Especially since a lot of times mothers, that was their job is being a mother. And then when they're done being a mother and you move out, they lose their mind. Because there's nothing else to do, right?

Which is a great argument for mothers to work, you're saying? Well, yeah. Or, I mean, what are they gonna do besides knit? How many sweaters are they gonna knit? How many times are they gonna watch Real Housewives? How many times are they gonna fucking go for a walk in the park?

Their reason is gone. So they go, oh, you're getting married? That's mine. My belief, though, is that over time, like the next, the coming generations of people who get married, this is gonna decrease immensely because more women will have spent their life doing more things than just raising their children.

And then that will have a ripple effect of a lot of people will be, a lot of women will be very, very, very sad later on in life because they did not have kids, because they wanted to be a powerful woman. No, I'm not saying they didn't have kids. I'm saying they did have kids, but they didn't only raise their kids. They also did other shit.

A lot of women forego being a mother because they want to be a powerful woman in the workplace, and that's fine. Well, also a lot of- You made your bed later on, so don't shit on guys later. A lot of women don't have kids because they can't fucking afford it. Right, right, of course, yes.

And that's the biggest problem. But don't. People need more money. Hey, Jeff Bezos, fucking share. Hey, Elon Musk, fucking share. Yeah, share, of course. Hey, Bill Gates, fucking share. You share a lot, but guess what?

Share more. Yeah. Because nobody needs even $1 billion, let alone $100 billion. But I will say. Fucking share. Give it a fucking way. A teacher. To every American citizen, and it will fucking fix the fucking country.

Fuck you all. Isn't that weird? Isn't that weird? It totally is bullshit. It actually is crazy. Fuck you all, dude. Give that fucking money away. Bernie Sanders.

Keep one billion. Bernie Sanders on coke. Is that enough? Bernie Sanders did so much coke. Felon coke. It's the one fucking thing Bernie Sanders is dead, dead ass right about, dude. It's crazy, dude. Rich people with that amount of excess money, give it to me!

And everyone else! That is so weird, dude. It's mind-numbingly upsetting. It's just like, dude, you don't, hey, Jeff Bezos, you don't need $200 billion. You will never need $200 billion. You know who needs $200 billion? All of us. Everyone else.

Isn't that weird? That is so fucking weird. How do they, how do they rationalize it? They just rationalize it. And they don't fucking pay taxes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. While my fucking ass is getting a higher tax rate by a lot than Jeff fucking Bezos.

Really? Yeah. Really? Yes, dude. Wow. Suck me. Hey, Jeff Bezos, I know you watch this podcast. Suck my fucking dick.

You know what he did? So Italian. You know what he did? When he watches, because he watches all the time, he goes, he went like this. Ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah, yeah. He thinks it's hilarious.

Dude. Fuck him, he's just sending Katy Perry to space. That mad guy. Fucking asshole. That mad guy. Ha ha ha. He does that. He's such a fucking, fuck him.

Well. Not for being rich, but for having that excess amount of money, like, no, it's not. Don't, can't, isn't that gonna, how does that not happen? I guess we don't know what it's like to have that much, you know, but it's like, no clue. What we're not, we're not talking about a lot of money.

We're talking about all of the money. Yeah. I mean, $400 billion is what you know, at least at one time is $200 billion right now. Yeah. I mean, we're not, we're not talking about $500 million. No. We're not talking about that.

We're talking about way more than that. We're talking, well, that's a lot of money. No, no, no. $50 million is like a drop in the bucket for Jeff Bezos. It's insanity. Well, $3 billion, $3 billion is a drop in the bucket. No. Oh yeah, I mean, yeah.

Well, yeah, I'm saying it's a literal penny to him though. It's like 50 million dollars is a penny is kind of weird. There's got to be some guy that eventually Helps right? Guys do have that these guys don't help I'm just saying help way more. Yes, you have to yes. Yes. No choice. Yes, and I'm not look I Am NOT saying because we don't know what it's like to be in that position. I'd like to think I would give away a lot more. We don't know. We're not in that position. History would say no because no one's ever done it.

No one's ever. But it is crazy that no one's done it. It's nuts. Hey somebody, do it. Like one person, just do it. Do what you must have in your heart for humanity because you must just be like, fuck them, they don't deserve it. I fought for this shit. You know what I'm saying? Yeah and the truth is obviously you earned it but no one earns that much money. There's just like laws of physics that say once you pass a certain threshold of wealth, you can't help but have that increase insanely over time. It's just like it doesn't get smaller. It gets bigger.

Oh, man. It's a fucking universal law. It's making me sad. What is that law? Fucking what's it called? God, I forget everything now. You know what it is? It's a...

Not Prieto. Murphy's Law. You know what it is? Jude Law. Jude Law, yeah. Let's do one more. How long was that happen? Okay, Martin, let's try one.

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Anyway, moms, yeah, fuck them all. About weddings. What's going on guys? Hope you're doing well. Hope the family's all good. So, just wanted to check with you guys. Do you feel like, I was watching America's Got Talent. What?

And I feel like all the singers on there shouldn't be on there. America's Got Talent. I know it's a talent, but also it's not really like one that you can really mess up that much. Like if you can kind of sing, obviously it's, you just keep singing, right? You're at the stages of the competition. That's funny. Um, and I feel like you have American Idol X factor, the boys for that kind of

thing, and it always pisses me off watching it because everyone's like, oh, fucking missing so well, like, oh, look how great this is, but you're just singing. I know it's a talent, but do you know what I, they always go to a foreign competition and in the day is like You're just singing you can't really get much wrong and singing the other acts right that will do like fucking ten backflips and You could die smash balls on their heads or whatever the face right you could break your back They've made a thought tonight. I've always wanted to. I've always thought about that. Yeah. Love you guys. I like that thought. That's funny. I never thought about that.

Did he say something about Gaza in the beginning? No, he said his name was like something like that. Oh, I was like what the fuck? No. Yeah, that is funny. That singing is... This is something I would think of. Okay, so he's like saying that you can't fuck it up that bad, meaning you can't, like, I guess what comes down to it, you're not really risking anything except for embarrassment. You know, your voice could crack, but you're not gonna, like, there are people who literally like are walking on tight ropes

10 feet up and can die. And nobody's singing fucking, you raise me up and just die. So wait, what is the show? I've never seen the show, I know what it is. America's Got Talent is supposed to be a talent show. But really what it kind of is saying is, most of the people there are just singing. Oh, is that right?

Yeah, because that's the thing that people care about. They should be on the singing competition. I'm sure they all try out for all of them. But, you know, America's Got Talent has turned into pretty much a singing show because who cares if someone can twirl plates? Who cares, really? Ron, honestly.

You know what I'm saying? Who are the judges on America's Got Talent? It's like every now and then, Jabba Walkie, it changes, but every now and then- Howard Stern's still on there? Every now and then, a Jabba Walkie or some shit will win, you know? The fuck is a Jabba walk it changes but every now and then. Howard Stern still on there? Every now and then a Jabba walkie or some shit will win. The fuck is a Jabba walkie? They're like Filipino dancers that Joe Coyote says he's best friends with.

Sabin Cowell, Howie Mandel, Mel B and Sofia Vergara. What a roster. Yeah, yeah. Hasselhoff? Just of course, dude. Hey, of course. Yeah, dude. Brandi, nice. Reg Yeah, dude Brandi nice

Regis did we just die? I Don't know that that's that's crazy if you if you live to be that so it's so old that you're like did that guy die It's great. Scroll down. It's right there. Yeah, it's great. The information's right there literally right there. So You clicked on his fucking name Yeah, it's crazy. The information's right there. It's literally right there, so. Well, I didn't Google Regis Philman. You clicked on his fucking name, though. Regis has been dead. Yeah, he died. Yeah, he died.

He's dead, right? Yeah. Dead to me, at least. Four, five years ago. Right during COVID. Just COVID starts, and he's like, oh, the world's ending, and then just dies. He's just like, COVID, enough!

Look at this crazy Reddit thread. Do you remember? We gotta stay indoors? Enough! Do you remember seeing Regis Philbin on the subreddit Xenials? God, he was fucking great. Remember when Paul McCartney couldn't get

into that MTV Awards after party because the bouncer didn't know who it was and he wasn't on the list. Of course. And all the fucking young ass motherfuckers on Twitter at the time were like, who the fuck's Paul McCartney? No.

Like why the fuck would they let him, this fucking old white guy? I don't remember that. And it was like, what do you mean who's Paul McCartney? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, hey. They didn't know who Paul McCartney was. Yeah, but I mean, it's like.

That's crazy, he's still fucking alive. That song sucks, that one song. Oh, Freedom? Yeah, it's terrible. I'm making an argument for his solo career. No, I know, I know, I know, I know. I'm saying he's one of the most famous people in the world. There's a song that goes, talking about freedom.

I hate any song that goes talking about something. It's so annoying. You know what's fucked up? Now just talk about it. It was the most fucking flagrant cash-in ever. Oh dude. It was like, oh 9-11 happened? How about we make a song called Freedom?

He didn't give a fuck. A week later a stadium's selling out to him just like talking about freedom. Oh my God, dude. You gotta fight for your right to have free. Wasn't that, those are the lyrics, right? To live in freedom. The biggest guitar ever.

Prince. Freedom. Prince. Dude, I don't like that. I don't like that song. The song is just a terrible thing. Man, I should do a comedy, a joke about freedom and just fucking wait for a terror act

and then be like, this is the bit we get now and then I just sell out stadiums. And I'm just like, you ever wonder why terrorists fucking blabla America! And everyone'm just like you ever wonder why terrorists fucking America and everyone's just like Selling out Madison Square Garden music over the weekend do what McCartney did you're saying for comedy though, right? All right, you know I'm saying have it ready to roll. Yeah, dude Get a terrorist, but don't use it until an active terror happens and then all of a sudden Hey, you guys know when you're on the train and a tourist shows up and I

And then fucking let's go America Fucking Sold out staple center the worst over the weekend bit ever the way you just laid it out the worst bit ever You ever been on a train you're just like turt turt's coming. You're saying fuck you America Whoa, the worst bit of all time dude the United Center sold out over the weekend it's so crazy how you chase Bank Arena chase Bank Arena a fucking Italian guy oh man Americans were so united after 9-eleven Georgia Bush you fucked it up thanks Georgia Bush a woman Georgia Bush. Well, Americans were united and wow are they not right now.

Your worst, least insightful. I'm a pundit. Pundit, ever. But it's true, it's crazy to think. It is, in 20 years, dude. George Bush, I said this once and said it a thousand times, he's cute now with his little shitty paintings, he's the fucking worst president in American history.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Bustin'. Oh yeah, Georgia Bush. I mean, what if your name was Georgia Bush? Oh, there's a woman out there. Oh yeah, no question, dude. Remember the fucking thing, his dad, the previous president

and Ronald Reagan's vice president for eight years? The thing he got accused of when the woman accused him of feeling like a proper dress? Yeah. David Copperfield? Yes, yes, yes. It's just so embarrassing, dude. The guy was like 94, about to die,

and that was the headline. Barbara Bush was just like, month there. Fuck her. It's not that embarrassing, dude, whatever. He was a president, yeah it is, you know? Yeah, but he had been the president and he was gonna die. He was in a wheelchair.

That's why it seemed to me humiliating, more so. I get it, but it's actually less because you don't even know what you're doing. He's copping a David copper feel Didn't do it right. Haha. All right. Thank you very much. I'll be in Denver come see me in Atlanta Come see me in a bunch of different areas go to chrislea.com straight a multiverse tour. Thank you Sign up for my patreon patreon.com slash Matt to Leah while it's still free, TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR