Lifeline - 165. Whoops Upside your Head

Episode Date: June 15, 2025

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That's for keyboards. Could have picked it up. Just utterly unnecessary. Also didn't get the piece of rice right there, but that's all good. One thing I wanted him to get. The only thing that mattered I got you covered. I got you covered. It's on you know, hey

It's so bitch, dude. Well, is that was that something that you bought? Hey when you saw it? Marco The new you know, it's nothing. Yeah, everything's nothing. The new pointer wind. Have you thought about, have you ever thought about this, you guys? Every single product needs a name, right? And it has to be a unique name.

Like if you're opening up a donut shop, you obviously can't call it Dunkin' Donuts. Obviously. Well, yeah, you can't, yeah. But eventually, and I think it's coming soon because there's so many more products every day, there's not gonna be any available good names for things. That's true, yeah, but you could do something like make a thing called, like Twitter is a thing.

It's like that wasn't a thing. I mean, it was a word but like You know and then Twitter took it and now it's and now yeah, nothing else can be called Twitter is what right right? But but but there are infinite amounts of letters and that can jumble together and make right now I'm I'm seeing shit that it there's such shitty names And it's like my first instinct is that is how could you use that name of all the names and it's like, my first instinct is how could you use that name of all the names and then I think, oh, like they're so limited. It's a weed, there's a weed store by my house

called Plant Based but it's PLNTBSD. No vowels. No vowels. Because maybe Plant Based is a thing already, yeah it already is. Right. Yeah. And that sucks. I guess that does suck, yeah.

I don't know. That's it. That's it, huh? That's, that's, I think about stuff like that. I've never thought of that though. Yeah. Yeah. All right, that's the episode, guys.

Thanks for watching. No, no, no. It's episode 165, Sunday, June 15th. Happy birthday to Ice Cube and... Xi Jinping. I got it. Oh, man. See, I wanted Chris to Ice Cube and... Xi Jinping, I got it. Oh man, see I wanted Chris to try and...

I think I would have got it. Who is it? The dear leader of China. I know. Sorry, didn't mean to say the F word. Xi Jinping. Xi Jinping. We are so screwed, you guys.

Why? I'm not even gonna get into it. Who is it? The China guy? Yeah, basically the one who is having the terror for with Trump. Right, right, right. I don't know, man. I'm just gonna be sad for the rest of my life. I guess so anyway, we just set up with our patreon.com slash LifelineLuxury. You can do that and it will be great. There are 50 plus episodes there,

including two live full live episodes and and that really they're great. So go check them out now. You could check them out now and binge them now. I'll be sad for the rest of my life. And so and also you got to subscribe to the YouTube channel. You don't just want to watch the show. You want to subscribe to it. You also want to subscribe to my Patreon, Patreon.com slash Matt D'Elia.

Every new episode of Matt D'Elia is Confused 2.0, live, past, present and future. Sign up. It's only five bucks for a little while. I never do this actually, but I'm thinking about it right now. Today, I will be in Fort Lauderdale, Father's Day. I will be there. I'm doing shows. Wow. I never do Sunday shows, but I'm doing them today. I will be in Fort Lauderdale, Father's Day.

I will be there. I'm doing shows. Wow. We, I never do Sunday shows, but I'm doing them today because I'm not doing Friday shows. I didn't do Friday shows at Fort Lauderdale, Florida. St. Louis, I'll be in St. Louis.

I'll be in Indianapolis. I'll be in Irvine, Huntsville, Miami, and Houston. Those are the summer gigs that I'm doing. I'm doing a little, I picked up some clubs cause I'm working. I don't want to, I don't want to, I don't want to get stale on this material. Um, but yeah, so go to chrisley.com, get those tickets and, uh, that's great.

Fort Lauderdale, huh? Fort Laudy, Fort Laud. Are you going to be in Fort Laudy Doddy? We likes to party on father's day without your family? Yeah. Oh man. Yeah. Bummer.

Yeah. Big bummer. Oh man. Yeah. Bummer. Yeah, big bummer. Oh well. But I will say that I will be back on Monday and then we will celebrate it then. Sounds good. You know, when I booked these things, I don't even know what's Father's Day.

I know what it is, but when is it? I don't know when it is. Nobody knows when it is. Like sometimes Chris will be like, I can't believe you booked a show for, you know, and I'm like, first of all, first of all, not, not father's day, but first of all, oh, that's a holiday.

And second of all, how am I supposed to know every that it's, you know what I mean? How far out? Like fourth of July, I'd be like, but I don't even look at it because it'd be like, you want to do July 4th? And I'm like, oh yeah. They don't say, do you want to do the fourth of July? So they say, I would never perform on the fourth of July. It'd be awful. But like, do they, They don't say, do you want to do the 4th of July? So they say, I would never perform on the 4th of July.

It'd be awful. But like, they don't say the 4th of July. If they did that, they don't say St. Patrick's Day. They don't say Cinco de Mayo. They say May 5th. Not that that matters if you're anywhere by that. Definitely, I'm assuming don't say Mother's Day and Father's Day.

No. They don't know what that is. How far ahead are you? Sometimes very far ahead. But also, Father's day and mother's day aren't bad times to perform because fathers and mothers want to come out. But I better time to perform. Maybe.

Well, I don't know if it's better, but I mean, maybe I would think it's a good ass time to do it. It depends on your, your fan base, really. Um, but anyway, so, uh, yeah, like for, for, you know, Jim Gaffigan is probably great, but, um, yeah, like for, for, you know, Jim gaffigan is probably great. Yeah. But, um, yeah. Uh, so anyway, that is, you know, Kristen was like, Oh, you're

performing on father's day. You're not going to be here. And I was like, yeah. And I was like, well, don't, don't make me feel bad because it's father's day. So, um, that's what I'd like for father's day is now no guilt. Um, so, but yeah, no, I know, I know, I know. Birthdays and everything. And it's just, I don't want to do anything.

For your birthday you're saying? I think never. I think I've mentioned this before, but I always think of that clip of Mad Men when he's like, when, when she's getting mad at him and Elizabeth Moss is getting mad at Don Draper and she's like, you didn't even mention that it was my birthday and you're making me worth late. And his response is you're 40. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's so, you didn't even mention that it was my birthday and you're making me work late.

And his response is, you're 40. And it's so good. Yeah, but that's weird though, that a woman was mad at a man for something. But so. It's so good because for the whole time you're siding with her, like wow, Don's being such a dick. And then logic comes in.

Not even acknowledging that it's her birthday and he's ruining her birthday, making her work late. And then he's like, and then you're like, oh yeah, what is a birthday? You're 40 years old, grow up. Cause logic came through cause you know, not to be like this. Oh, here it comes. No, I know. You know exactly what you're going to say. A woman was talking and then logic hit her upside down. Whoops upside your head. Logic upside your head. So logic, logic goes whoops upside your head.

I thought you were going to say a man. No, no, no, no. Logic goes whoops upside your head logic. By what? So logic, logic goes whoops upside your head. I thought you were going to say a man. No, no, no, no. Logic goes whoops upside your head and that's fine. But if logic goes whoops upside your head, what are you going to do? You got to go like this, uh, uh, uh, and then that's when they start crying. And then it's all good and it's fine. But it's just like, you know, it's like, oh, but this is, but this is how the world is you go, yeah, but here comes logic and they go, uh, uh, uh, uh, and

then, and that's when they start crying. And that's fine. But, you know, I mean mean been in therapy for not long enough But they didn't therapy for five years we talked about yeah, arguably is it really Xi Jinping's birthday today What do we check this out? Check it this out Xi Jinping. Fuck you man. Oh nice. Oh really see the balls I have Hey Xi Jinping Gonna die tomorrow, you know? Yeah. Gonna find me dead on Monday.

I don't know what he had the day after Father's Day. I don't know what your, uh, I mean, honestly, if Xi Jinping watches probably does Lifeline, that's amazing. If Xi Sean Penn watches this, no, somebody in his, uh, what do you, what do they call communist, like? The CCP? No, I know what they call it, CCP, but like the commissary. Commissary. Commissary, yeah.

Anyway, somebody from there is gonna watch his lifeline, is gonna show, bring a computer, or show a clip to Xi Jinping and say, should we kill him? To Xi Sean Penn. You've made that joke before, that's funny. I did yeah when I When we talked about you Jim paying for the only other time on this show you said G Sean man

If there's one thing he is it's consistent and now weird I That's great. I'm really happy. I did that Dude, sometimes that makes me very happy script. I'll make a script note and in the program the writing program There's a little box. I'll make a script note and in the program the writing program There's a little box you can make a script note Yeah, and in script notes, I'd sometimes be like maybe the line should be this or maybe he should do this she should do this instead I Hundreds of times this has happened. I Will be reading something and I'll go to make a note and they're old

Oh, there's already a note here and I'll go to make a note and they're all, oh, there's already a note here. And I open the note. It is the exact idea that I was just going to write in the script. And you don't remember. I had no memory of already having. They say that sometimes you can't even, if it's far enough away, the brain can't tell if you did something or thought of something. So that's great. Wait. If it's far enough away, the brain doesn't know the difference between something that actually happened or something that you think happened. Great. Oh,

yeah, for sure. For sure. So that's great. What else is weird about the brain? Over, if it's a long enough period of time, all that matters is if you heard something. So say I say say Brian Wilson died he did He did today today, right? Right. Actually, that's a bad example. Yeah, cuz he did actually die So how about this? I told him McGuire died told him I died Died but yeah, Brian was a died today No shit. Yeah, isn't that crazy sucks guys are doing a podcast anyway, so does sly stone sly stone died yesterday Yes, it's gonna come in threes, dude Who's next?

man, uh, Josh Groban Marion Josh Groban It's gonna be there's an icebox where your heart used to You know the truth value Stops mattering. What matters is the thing you heard whether it's true or false. So Tom McGuire died Happens to be very false. The truth value of it goes out the window and just the information sticks. Right, of course.

So what I'm saying is if somebody says Tom McGuire is dead and I say no he's not and I prove it and the third guy watching in a year will be like Tom McGuire is dead. Not, no he's not. I saw it be the third guy watching in a year will be like Toby McGuire's dead. Not, no he's not.

I saw it be proven that he's not. Why? I don't know. They'll be more likely to remember the claim. I don't like that. It's crazy, yeah. So then everyone's lying. Great.

Everyone's lying and they don't even know it. Exactly, which only means everyone's just wrong all the time. So you're telling me Toby McGuire is dead? Yeah, exactly. Was it from him when he had the, with the bus and the spider webs like this and tried to stop the bus?

Probably, it sounds really dangerous. Can't believe Omarion and Toby McGuire died at the same time together. Anyway. Who's Omarion? There's an ice box where my heart used to, ugh. Who the hell is Omarion? In the middle of singing. Omarion. It's an R& where my heart used to, ugh. Who the hell is Omarion? In the middle of singing.

Omarion. It's an R&B singer, you uncultured shithead. Irish, Omarion. Omarion. I started watching that, it's not Irish, it's Scottish, I think, that show on Netflix, Department Q. What's it called? Department Q.

Okay. What's it about? A cop, you know, everything's about a cop. So it's about a cop and then he gets shot and then it's like, who shot him? And then it's like, by the time we're into the second episode, you're like, who cares? I'm going to sleep. Worst pitch. Absolutely. She says Kristen thought it was a good idea to put a fucking mattress down in

the living room. And now we're watching it on a mattress in the living room. And even though the dog peed all over, we fall asleep on the mat. I have a question. It's all good. I have a question. Where the fuck do you get off? No, I see, I'll come over to your house and there will be a mattress in the living room and I wonder who's bringing that down there if it's not you. Oh, okay. Who do you think?

It's, yeah, it's either me and her or just her. And why does she bring it down there? Because she wants to have a movie day or something. Hey, let's do a movie night where we watch it and, and, but don't you guys have an enormous couch? Yes. What's wrong with that? Oh, you're me.

Are you being this conversation? It just seems like such a hassle to get the matches back upstairs. Oh, you're me. That's so hard to do. I say these things. So yeah, that's just what it is. And then I, and then you just go, all right, you know, it's like, there's no reason to argue it.

I guess like, you're just going to make your life worse if you argue it. And then you end up saying something like logic and loops upside your head, you know, and then starts crying and you go, it's my fault, right? you're 40 whoops upside your head. So it's all good. Nice Remember that snoop song snoops upside your head. Of course you don't you uncultured. Is that was that really what he said? Yeah, oh snoops upside your head dude. It's so dumb That's what my next special Chris is upside your head. It's called snoops upside your head Alright. Alright, let's do it. Let's start, huh?

Wanna go? Yeah. We're trying to fight you. Wanna go? No frills delivers. Get groceries delivered to your door from No Frills with PC Express. Shop online and get $15 in PC optimum points

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one living it? Is it best to just have zero contact for a while so things don't get messy? Or I don't know what would you suggest? Anyway, love the show. Thank you guys. Thank you bro. How beautiful San Sebastian is. Are you kidding me? Jesus. Where was he? San Sebastian. Okay and then what uh just because I didn't understand what the fuck did he say. What's the best way to leave a relationship if you're the one leaving it? I thought he said live, okay. And should you go no contact?

I think that's what he asked. One of the things he said, should you go no contact or? Or what's the best way. What's the best way. Where was that? I wanna live there. Spain. That was sense of asking.

Sometimes I think about just moving to a different country, not because it's anti-American and not because, you know, I don't look, a lot of these guys, a lot of comics are moving to Austin. What's like, dude, everyone flees their place. It's like, dude, show a sense of like, come on motherfuckers, let's strap our boots on and do this. But no, I get it. Everyone leaves. Comics moving to Austin is fucking bitch shit. Anyway, go on.

Yeah. It's very, it's odd, but whatever. What was the thing that we were just talking about though? I wanna move to Spain. Oh, Spain. Just to be on a veranda somewhere, drinking coffee, laughing at how like, just amazing my life is, you know? Yeah, you know what I always think about would be the dream place to live is where Ray Winston and his wife live in the beginning of Sexy Beast. Yeah, I get it. That's Italy, right? Or not?

No, that's Spain. Yeah, Spain. Spain? Yeah, it's in the middle of nowhere in a villa in a mountain in Spain. Totally some fucking cured meats. It's like the coolest fucking house ever. It is cool. And then you think, you know, I wonder if they have Postmates, which is fine if they don't, but like...

They don't. No, you have a cook. When you own that house, you have own that house. Yeah, right, right, right. I would, I would do that. You might get bored though, but you could travel. You can live there half the year. Right. If you're, if you own that house, let's face it, you are wealthy enough to own another house in a more bumping city, you know, bumping. So, uh, the correct way to leave, leave a relationship is to just be honest, tell them about it.

And, you know, I don't think you should just cold turkey if they need to reach out for explanations or understanding, I think it, it's, it's, I understand the, the, the reason to I'm never, I'm going to stop talking to you because this is what we need need but that's kind of harsh It's harsh until you've said it enough times where I realize you're just being manipulated into Talking more and when that happens, yeah that realization happens. It's bye. Bye. Bye bye forever. Bye. Bye. So dick bye bye forever

So dick bye bye forever. Oh You know what? I'm realizing I'm realizing that you are doing this just to manipulate us back into having a conversation And taking up some of my time and making it making you feel like you're still part of my life. Bye. Bye. I Mean an adult until start to the complete end so that you start to feel like By the time I get a new girlfriend You're gonna be extra upset and you're gonna be like, why would you talk to me that much? Bye bye. Not doing it. Bye bye.

Was an adult until the last second? Yeah, I mean, sure. If it is manipulation, then that's bad, but it is hard. And I think that, uh, I don't want to say wean off of each other, but like, you know, I do, I do think that being there for the person, since you were there a person for a while, isn't the worst thing, even though it can be the worst thing. Do you understand what I'm saying? So you're saying you let them decide. Well, no, not necessarily.

I mean, you can, there needs to be a balance. Uh, there needs to be a balance, but like, you can't just like break up. I mean, look, if you're with somebody for eight years, you can't just break up and not talk to them anymore. And, and that's what people do. I understand. But, but, but if the other person doesn't want that and is really struggling, I feel like you should work some sort of thing out with them because

you care about them. Yeah. And you know, you could argue, Oh yeah, but if you really cared about them, you wouldn't talk to them. And I understand that, but it's like. I've had compassion like that make my life significantly worse. Yes. Long periods of time.

So I tend to be on the other side of the argument, which is no matter how bad it hurts in the beginning for you and the partner, it's better to just cut off. Maybe, I don't know. Yeah, I mean, look, it's an argument to be made, right? I'm just trying to... And maybe I look at my codependent somewhat. I also think if you cut it off completely and then there's the possibility to be actual friends later on in life.

But if you don't cut it off clean, and you drag it out in a weird messy way, you're just. But what about the thing called closure? Like the actual thing that people call closure. Well you don't just leave in the middle of the night. Right, right, right, right, right. You break up like a real person, explain why, and answer as many questions as the person has.

You don't like cut it off early and say, ooh, gotta run. Like in that case, then yeah, you should still talk to them. Look, sweetie, I know it's 2 a.m. I don't know a better time to say this, so it's just kinda how I'm feeling. It's over.

Psst! Woo! Duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, duk, du over. Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss Can't wait to get my fucking dick sucked. So stupid. Worst boyfriend, worst boyfriend or husband or whatever. So Anthony's not here. Oh yeah. Anthony's not here. Anthony's not here. Not because we fired him, even though we should. What's his fucking excuse?

I don't know. He's always doing something. I think it's the dentist. What is that? Nahapiyo de Hentest. That's not a good excuse, dude. Fucking Anthony, get your ass back here now. I will say this though. He showed me a showed us a picture of his grandma and it is very interesting that

his Lineage is in charge of saving that skin suit and hair So each person can use it in the next generation because he is his grandma. So that's really, yeah. He looks like his grandma. I said, that's crazy that your mom, you and your mom have the same skin and hair suit. And he said, that's my grandma. And I said, that's crazy. It's been passed down generations. So I mean, yeah. How much is Anthony's mom? How much was Anthony's mom? 16 when she had him and then, and she was born to another 16 year old. Like it's-

Oh God, so his grandma was like 40? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's great, dude. It's definitely the case. It's nice we could talk shit about him because he's not here.

Yeah. All right, next one. But also he'll love it. Yeah, true, I know, yeah. I mean, try to give any caveat. Michael Anochi. What's up man, Chris? The same guy, he- Quick question. I know. Yeah. I mean, try giving a caveat. Michael Linoche. What's up man, Chris? The same guy.

Quick question. What do you guys do when it's like three, four o'clock in the afternoon and you're just dead tired and you know you still have shit to do, but you just can't find the energy. Like how do I get through the day and get past this afternoon slump? I love the show. Keep it up. Bro. Okay. First of all, try magic mind.

I know that I always say that and all that, but it's a great product. Second of all, uh, if you don't have that or don't want to, then what you should do is, oh, fuck, dude, I think about being tired sometimes. And you're just like, oh, come on, body. You know what I mean? And you're like, I can't, I'm, I'm falling. You know what I'm doing? I'm surrendering to sleep.

I'm falling victim to my tiredness. Please come on body. Oh, fuck. Nevermind. That's the dumbest shit, but we all go through it. And it's three, whatever time it is, like for, if it's three or four, for people who have real jobs, for me sometimes it's different because I'm on a plane

at 5 a.m. or whatever the hell, you know, if it's three or four, for people who have real jobs, for me, sometimes it's different because I'm on a plane at 5 AM or whatever the hell, you know, I'm going, going somewhere where I slept late cause I had a show last night, but like, dude, when that shit hits, Oh no dude. It's just, I'll take a little bit of a nap sometimes, but you can't at work. Right. So, well, the Europeans, this is one thing they have on us, dude. But then they take the siesta, they take the nap at that time. After lunch, you have the dip in blood sugar. You get tired, you get sloggy,

you get crazy. And it makes sense to take a nap. But does make sense for you to take a nap. It does make sense to take a nap. Yeah, but you it does make sense for you to take a nap. To take a nap. It does make sense. To take a nap. For you to take a nap. Yeah, but it does make sense, except for then, if you're in Italy, you're taking a nap every day, however long, and then whenever the time is. And then what if you get tired at a different time?

It's like... Did you gotta have a coffee or a Celsius or an Adderall? That doesn't help me at all. An Adderall, if I took, you know, enough of that, that would definitely help. But like, but like I don't, coffee doesn't help, bro. The only time coffee helps is when I wake up and I don't have anything in my stomach and I drink a coffee and I suck it down. Yeah.

Pause. Pretty much me too. Not pause. I mean, actually, but yeah, no, it's, it does. If I have a meal and a coffee, nah, nah, pause. Pretty much me too. Not pause. I mean, actually, but yeah, no, it's, it does. If I have a meal and a coffee, no, no, Nathan for you, dude. It's just unbelievable. It's, it's like when, when they say like, oh yeah, but they have an espresso

after, after dinner, so you can, you know, have the rest of the conversation and enjoy your, the company you're with. Nathan for you're with. Nathan for you, dude. No, that is nothing. I will take an espresso, go to sleep. As a matter of fact, I got dark chocolate covered espresso beans. Bro, I am popping those all day and they are magnificent.

And dude, they are so good and I can't even believe how good they are and I eat them and I eat them at 10 p.m. There's his answer What he should eat dark chocolate espresso beans, but that's but the whole thing is that's not helping Me no, it's not helping you. He needs to wake up. Oh dark chocolate espresso beans Yeah, good work dark chocolate espresso beans. They go Better than taking drugs if you don't take drugs dark chocolate espresso beans. There you go. It's better than taking drugs. If you don't want to take drugs.

Dark chocolate espresso beans. It depends, here's the thing that you left out. It depends on how long your job typically goes. Like if it's like a nine to five and you're just trying to get from three or four to five, just fucking grin and bear your fucking. Throw me a magic mind. You what can swap but also you but if it's if it's like you're going to like 8 p.m. Yeah need to wake up

so do something like take a nap or fucking Cut it cut it cut it shit So no, but this is good because there's no crash out like there's no like What do you call it? I mean like you know, there's no it's natural or science behind it, dude, I So annoying hated that I I'm really good with those just fucking catch them and flipping them and she nice. Okay. Anyway, that's nothing though

But that's what if I I vomited so hard right now, like just right away? That'd be great. One time I had, there was a kid in my high school, in my Spanish class, dude, he was Mexican and couldn't speak Spanish. His parents were from Mexico. And he couldn't speak Spanish?

And he was in Spanish class. What? Made no sense. And he was so fucking dumb that he made a bet with, I don't know if it was me or somebody else, he said, I'm going to drink an entire liter of Coke without stopping. So that's like the big fucking thing.

Oh god, OK. Is this Jorge? Exposing him. Grajeda? No. Exposing him. It was a different guy. I think his name was Pablo.

Exposing him. Something with a P, Paco maybe? He was exposing him. I don't know. French, French, French the way he laughed. He, he fucking went just outside the classroom and the classroom was surrounded by glass windows and he fucking started drinking it.

Where were you? I was in the classroom. Okay. And he starts drinking it and gets like did way less than halfway. Yeah. Just goes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Throws up everywhere. And he was like, how are you? Well, he was, are you right? He was 18. Maybe he was. Oh, wow. Yeah. I was in high school. Wow. Yeah.

I was at Bob's Big Boy once with Dennis, my friend, Tessa. Oh, yeah, yeah. Bro, it was so funny. He was like, there was syrup for the pancakes. I was like, dude, drink the whole thing. Oh, god. He was like, yeah, you don't think I can? I can.

So he goes, so I was like, yeah, go ahead. I don't know. So he did. He was like, yeah, you don't think I can? I can. So he goes, so I was like, yeah, go ahead. I don't know. So he did. He goes like this. And he's looking at me. And I go, like, I don't know if he swallowed it or not yet. And he just goes like this. And dude, it went all over, dude.

Oh my god. I go, fucking come on, dude. That's the last thing you're allowed to do. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah. because he was laughing I don't know. It was probably cuz he realized he can't Yeah, he was like he was like I tried to swallow it a little bit down my throat and I got stuck And I would just coughed it. Yeah, anyway, it was a great time

That's a little pops big boy so much. Yeah, you did You did. Yeah, you did. All right next one. All right, so What's our answer for him? It was chocolate espresso espresso beans Yeah, just fucking take a nap if your job's a lot longer if it's an hour or two longer push through also It matters what you eat for lunch. Don't eat anything with fucking bread in it. That's true. Actually eat that does matter That give you energy, like protein. Yeah, but it sucks though, because. Yeah, it does suck.

You want to eat what you want to eat. Hey Chris and Matt, I've got a bit of a work related question for you. I'm an investigator. I do criminal defense investigations in Brooklyn. Okay, you're really. And for the most part I work alone, but once in a while an attorney wants to tag along with me. Wow, man.

Fuck that. I'm sure that guy works solo. I've found that almost always the attorney is expecting me to give them a ride. And I live on Long Island, so most of the time, I just tell them I'm coming from the opposite direction and I'd prefer to meet them there. But in the off chance that I'm coming from the

office, I don't really have that built in excuse. Why? And I work from home most of the time, so I don't really know these people other than through email. So if I've never really met you before, I don't really want to sit in a car with you and, you know, driving around in Brooklyn takes you like 30 or 40 minutes to get from place to place. I don't want to be in a car with a pretty much a stranger making awkward small talk. Why do they want a small talk?

Who are they? The attorney? So my question is, am I the asshole for not wanting to give someone a ride if we're coming from the same place? No! Say, I do a lot of my investigating on the drives in my head. I can't have you in there. You'll fuck up the investigation. Breaking news, a brand new game is now live at Bet365. Introducing Prize Matcher, a daily game that's never ordinary. All you have to do is match as many tiles as you can. And the more you match, the better.

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Please play responsibly. If you or someone you know has concerns about gambling, visit connexontario.ca, five must be 19 or older. Ontario only please play responsibly. If you are someone, you know, has concerns about gambling, visit connexontario.ca T's and Z's apply. Also, you can say, Oh, I was going to ask you for a ride. And then he says, sure. And then you go, fuck, now I've got to go with them. I can't do my investigating for the passenger seat. And no, where do I bring you have room for my mic?

Uh, my, uh, what do you call it? What do you call them? Oh dude, wait, I know what to do. What do you call those? What do you call it what you call them oh dude wait I know what to do what do you call those what do you call what our spine magnifying magnifying glass spine glass you know no you fucking say that and then it's fine glass entertainment like when you know the person would have already left on their own after that time, you say, oh shit, my car suddenly started working again.

I'll meet you there. Wow, what a lie. They're gonna understand you're lying, you know? They did this for a living. No, they're the attorney. Really? She's the one who did this for a living. Attorneys know though, they're basically that.

That's the shit. Good job. Why does she, fuck that. Dude, no. Attorney, get your own fucking ride. Fill your car with boxes of files. And this electronic day and age is pretty obvious what you're doing. But there's no room for you.

If you're an investigator, do you go like this? I think you should work on this a lot, because this is what I would love to do. If I was either an investigator or a cop or something like that I would be like yeah I guess that that uh I guess that there's we can't push this case forward at all anymore anyway I'll see you later there is one more thing right do you do that a lot because that's so dope and I know that probably only happens in movies, but I will tell you right now, if that was, if I was an investigator in real life, bro, I would be doing that

so much, it would be, uh, actually annoying, but I would always get the job done. So then fuck you. People would nickname you Colombo because that's how associated with that. Case closed then I guess. Yeah. All right. Well, can't really, uh, figure out what's going associated with that. Yeah, case closed then I guess. All right, well, can't really figure out what's going on past this. So high pitched.

That's cool, dude. Thank you. You know what's cool? When someone, the way they look, doesn't line up with what their job is. Yes, totally, yes, I agree. Yes. That woman looked like a fucking teacher.

Right, like I'm a comedian, I'm not fat and bald. What the fuck do I do? J. Crew ads, no. So dumb. But yes, I get it. And her too. I like that. You think of this grizzled, not this fresh faced.

She doesn't look really young. Yeah. That's fucking's she's like doogie How's your level the investigate? In the car next to the attorney Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning. Is she a... Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning, Ning coolest thing I've ever heard. Boodoo, boodoo, boodoo. Beedle-dee-dee-dee-dee, ding ding ding, ding ding. Bing ding ding ding, ding ding ding ding. Beedle-dee-dee-dee, ding ding ding ding ding. Ding ding ding ding.

Ding ding. It's all out at the end. Dude, come on, man. Old. Doogie Howser PD. Have we watched old show openings on Luxury before? Oh, Luxury? So good.

There's so many good ones. It's crazy, dude. I wonder what, honestly, Neil Patrick Harris would think of what I just did right there. What he would think of what I just did right there. What he would think. Yeah. I wonder if he saw that, if he would think that guy's a fucking clown or he would laugh or he would think I hate him.

He would laugh, but he'd be like, what the fuck was that? Well, no, but you have to see the bit from the beginning from the Yeah, no, no. He'd still be like, what the fuck was that? Well, no, but you have to see the bit from the beginning, from the investigator. Yeah, no, no. He'd still be like, what the fuck was that? Why am I looking at this? But he's lying. Something else about Neil Patrick Harris is it's

his birthday today as well with Xi Jinping. But he didn't make the cut. He didn't make the cut on the thing. I saw it, and I was like, eh. Oh, no. So hopefully he doesn't see this. Who's who? It's embarrassing.

Who is the other one besides Xi Jinpingimping ice cute ice cute, right? Yeah ice cubes. You be and so yeah, and and No, Patrick Harris. No, but you're not watching Neil Patrick probably is watching was probably in the middle of kissing a dude and then he stopped and saw this no new Patrick Harris was like Everywhere and yeah every and hosting everything pretty in everything, like what was that? Because you know why? Because he's, well, come on. I mean, he's very, very likable.

He is very good at what he does, but it's more that he's palatable and he's gay. But even more to the point, he's the kind of gay that like, you know, old Republican women can even like. Palatable, yeah. Like really like, he's the most accepted kind of gay person. He's acting like he didn't say palatable already, yeah. Okay, fine, sure.

Wrong number. Palatable means something very broad. I'm saying specifically to people who would otherwise dislike a very flamboyant gay person, these people would be like, oh, a gay person I like is Neil Patrick Harris. Yeah, OK, OK. Implying they hate every other gay person. Right, I got you.

I see what you're saying. It's like a big it's gay person. Yeah, exactly. Ah, very cool. He keeps it to himself. Right. Oh, palatable, palatable. I feel like he keeps it to himself. Right.

Oh, palpable, palpable. Like your uncle would do, and you know. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no. Enough said, enough said. All right. Leave it out. OK, so.

Leave it alone. Next one. OK. Oh, shit. Hold on. I like these ones the best now. Should I say things out loud that majority of people around me aren't going to know the reference to?

Like I watch a lot of old cartoons or comedy shows. My coworkers don't watch that. And I was thinking of my coworker, Jordan, and automatically in my head it was Jordan, what the slam? Popped in my head and I was like, I can't say that out loud because no one's gonna know what the heck that is. So do I refrain or do I just go for it? And then people are gonna be like,

what is that every time? They are gonna ask. You refrain from that because unless you have the confidence to just barrel through and be like, Jordan with the slay him. That's from the show Lifeline. It's so funny. You got to check it out. And every time you say, well, Jordan with the slay him.

Anyway, so, but I like, occasionally I'll do that. But I, that's my job is to make people understand what I'm talking about. So, so I would say most people should absolutely refrain from that because that is super annoying. You, so I would say most people should absolutely refrain from that because that is super annoying. You in a very like pronounced way have always really disliked that. Uh-huh. I have. You're right. Yeah. I'm glad you remember that. It doesn't bother me at all. Inside jokes that where there's nobody from the inside there drive me fucking Nuts do it's not really what this is. No. Well, it kind of is if there's somebody out there

That's gonna get it or if there's somebody out there isn't I mean nobody's gonna get it You know this shit this shows a niche show like you know, you know I mean, maybe unless it's with your friends you go Jordan with the slam Yeah, Jordan with the slam wasn't the kind of thing. I thought she was referencing I thought she was when she first started of thing I thought she was referencing. I thought she was, when she first started talking, I thought she was talking about like, facts from like history or pop culture. Well that's different.

And that's what I thought she meant though, like things I know but my friends don't know. I was gonna say, yeah, bring those things up because they're like conversation starters. Jordan with the slam is not a conversation starter. Jordan with the slam is like, oh well I'm sorry what'd you say? It's a cultural zeitgeist but. It's just like, the slam is like, oh well I'm sorry what'd you say? It's like cultural zeitgeist but.

It's just like, it's like they won't. I'm sorry what'd you say? Know why your voice went to that pitch. Imagine that dude, you're just in a, Jordan with the slam! Yeah it'd be so fucking weird, yeah. Ah, I watched this podcast, so I don't know if you know, well you probably don't know, But have you ever seen? Yeah,

yeah, it would go not so well. But yeah, no vine, right? It depends on a thing on the thing. Now, in this scenario, yeah, I would say most of the time refrain from it. Large percentage of the time large percentage of population. What's wrong? Well, since anytime, essentially, refrain. All right. All right. Hey Chris, I'm Matt calling from Vancouver, BC. I'm a baby for life.

I love you both so much. Booyah, booyah, and booyah. I am calling seeking advices on a neighborly issue that I'm having every single day before I leave for work and when I come home, like clockwork, our neighbors down the hall let their young children run up and down the hall, screaming at the top of their lungs, banging on everyone's door, jiggling door handles every day. And I've tried to address the mom, but my BRM is so fucking high, I can't even think of anything to say. And every time I open the door, she just goes,

mm-hmm, sorry, like they're just like that. Sorry, they love that. That's just who they are. And I need a spin move. I need a retort I need something that I can say that basically says fuck you and your kids this needs to stop But also like I basically live with these people. I see them every day So, please help To not make my life awkward with these guys, but also make this end. Thank you, love you. Puh! Oh, she did it good.

Yeah, she did. Making it not awkward is going to be kind of hard. Because if the mom answers the door and says, oh, yeah, that's just what they're like, say, oh, well, my advice would be to say, oh, well, I'm just like this. Make them stop doing it. Ha, shit dude, that's great. Oh, they're like that? Ah, well I'm like this.

Yeah. But like, dude, it's true, it's just as valid. Like think about it, like in the most direct, simple, logical way. That is, it's just as valid for you to say, oh, okay, well I'm just this way. Make them stop or I'm gonna call the whatever, the landlord or whatever the fuck it is.

I mean, yeah, I mean. That's not okay, dude. That is completely out of line. No, no, no, I agree. Well, that's the thing, like I don't, you know, I see these kids, like I have two kids, they're very well behaved, but they're still kids. Sometimes they are gonna do something that is not so well behaved.

And I'm like, if that happens and it keeps happening, we all go home. We all go home. I don't care if we're at Target, a birthday party. Uh, we go home. You, you, you start doing that bullshit, you don't go out of the apartment. Yeah, that I was gonna say. Yeah, you stay where you don't do that

until you learn that's not what you do. I don't understand these parents, it's like, oh, well, we just, you know, and we all know them, we all know them. We all have friends who would, it's just like, that makes no sense to me, man, yeah. It's called something, it's called beyond bad parenting. It's called like child-led parenting or something like that,

where it's just like you literally let the child do whatever it wants. Oh. And react accordingly. Oh. Yeah. Doesn't that just immediately sound like the worst idea ever? Yeah, but I mean like, is that, well you mean like don't,

no yelling or what, what do you mean react accordingly? Like if they, uh... Yeah, you let them do whatever and then you... If it's, if it's something you deem out of line, then you tell them that that's the case. But you don't stop them from doing it. You just tell them and that they do it again and again and again and again and again.

That's nuts. It's nuts. That'll lead to the worst world. And it's growing in popularity. There's like books on it and shit. Everything's growing in popularity. Yeah, look up child led parenting. The worst world.

Child led. I forget if that's the term Responsive parenting style that prioritizes a child's individual needs and interests while providing appropriate guidance and bounties Okay, so it involved it observing and responding to a child's cues allowing them to make choices within safe limits and to a child's cues, allowing them to make choices within safe limits and encouraging their independence and self discovery. This approach acknowledges children as capable individuals with their own preferences. This is not what I child centering parenting child child centered parenting right there. Maybe on the right on the right. Oh, probably in vogue. Ah, the point is that there can be as much sly,

fuck it. Kids don't know anything and they need to be fucking told by their parents what things are. Fuck it. Then at that point they can become people in the world and everyone's better off for it. You don't stifle a kid's imagination or joy,

but when they're literally running up and down halls, Stifle a kid's imagination or joy, but when they're literally running up and down halls, banging on strangers' doors, turning their knobs, fucking with just whatever's in front of their faces, this is not a playground. This is where six or seven other people live. They live there. You can't have your shithead kid bang on their door

all fucking day. And then when a tenant comes and complains, they say, oh, that's just how they are, yeah. You have to be able to say, okay, well then this is just how I am. And then undo your pants and take a huge shit right in her doorway. Piss immediately and shit immediately right

where they, right on their welcome mat. Ah, no, man, I hate that this is happening. And look at them and say that. And look at them in the eyes and say, ah, man, I hate that this is happening. Shit, well, that's just the way I am. Yeah. Yeah.

Or, you know, if that doesn't work, call the landlord. I actually think you can call the police for things like that. Really? If the parent is being I mean Yeah, not if you're in like fucking Cabrini green not if you're in what it's a bad neighborhood. I saw it on Candyman Cabrini green anyway Yeah, they're not gonna come to your house if you're in a bad neighborhood, but if you're in a decent to middle class

Even lower middle class they will fucking come to your apartment and be like, man, you need to take, this is a place where people live. I'm sorry, they're just like that. Then I'm like this. They shoot all the kids? No, well, not the adult. Oh, just the mom, okay. Not the kids. It's fucking harrowing. Anyway, yeah, I don't know. I mean, okay.

It's kind of weird to call the cops on that, but now you just. Dude, no, if they do that shit every fucking day and the parent won't do anything, you actually have to move. Actually, you know it could work. And one time I was doing something as a kid and a guy in the house that I was doing it to

was just throwing mud. I didn't even know it was bad. Oh, I remember this. He came out and a guy in the house that I was doing it to, I was just throwing mud. I didn't even know it was bad. Oh, I remember this. He came out and yelled at me. Grandma's house. Holy fucking shit. I realized that you shouldn't do that. And I never did it again.

It was grandma's house, right? Yeah, so I'm not saying you should yell at the kids. He was a little crazy. Yeah, like actually. That was nuts, yeah. I didn't even know I was doing something bad, truly. I was just being a kid, it's weird knowing. It's weird remembering the time

and throwing the dirt at the house and thinking and not thinking about it. And then when he came out and he was like, you guys throwing dirt at my house. It's weird, like I remember, cause I was young enough to think, what's wrong? Why is he getting so mad? When it's so obvious now,

they started throwing dirt at your house, that's a reason to be mad. So I now, but I remember it as a young kid and, um, I remember coming in and I was crying and I was like, is he going to call the cops? Am I going to get arrested? Like, I was so scared. Well, dad went over there. Yeah, I think he did.

Yeah. And then he and uncle Mike went over there, I think. And they came back and they were like, he's like a crazy guy. Ah, okay. But they were like, we talked to him, but like, he's like not upstairs. He's not all the way upstairs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Uh, right, yeah, yeah, yeah. I do remember that. Yeah. Well, I'm surprised you remember that. What's weird is I was just talking to Dad about that. What? Very recently, yeah. Isn't that weird?

Whoa. I mean, we were, it was before we moved to New Jersey. I was really young. You were five? Not even. What? Very recently. Yeah, isn't that weird? Whoa. I mean, we were, it was before we moved to New Jersey. I was really young. You were five? Not even. What? Yeah, you were five, I think. No, no, no, no. How old were you? I don't know. You were young, dude. Yeah. Anyway, wow, it's such a vivid memory I have. Yeah, because you scared the fucking shit out of me. I know, it's weird though, but I wouldn't say it like- His unhingedness probably scared you more than you realized. It scared me, dude. I want, Yeah, because you scared the fucking shit out of me. I know, it's weird though, but I wouldn't say it like- His unhingedness probably scared you more than you realized. It scared me, dude. I wonder if it made me a certain way. Because when you're so young and shit like that happens,

you mold, you shape. I wonder if that is one of the things in my origin story. Do you think that that is the main reason you're a giant raging pussy or do you think it's something else that's that made you that? I don't think I'm a giant raging pussy on armchair expert. Alright then, next. Hey Kristen, Matt. Doing making an oil cop.

Quick question for you guys. If I work with a lady that will try to guess what I'm saying and try to finish my sentence. We've talked about this before. And, it's awful. Like how do you deal with that? How do you tell her that's annoying? Also shout out to the guy who did this the other day. Yeah, that was fucking funny.

Love it. Bye guys. Is that a cop or what? That's a cop who develops his own photos in a dark room. To try and crack crimes off duty. Yeah, right. But he keeps his walkie talkie on. Yeah.

Cracked another one. I know you guys don't care I'm off duty, but just letting you know. If you need help with yours, let me know. Yeah. This is probably one of the more common, not things that people call in about, but things that people do that rub people the wrong way.

Wrong way, yeah. See? I just did it. That's exactly it. And it's so annoying. And it's wrong more than half the time. And then it slows things down because you have to be like, no, no, no, it's not that.

I know what you mean, but it's actually, and then you've been rerouted, you've lost all your momentum. The idiot fucked it all up and they're an idiot and they fucking ruin everybody's life. And they've just ruined your life and they probably ruin their own fucking life because it makes them have no fucking friends

in the entire fucking universe. Because everybody fucking hates them because they fucking do that. A guy who finishes your sentences is a fucker who fucks all your girls ever. So it's just like, you know what, actually I have a theory about this. Killed your mom.

I think they do that. I think it's actually like directly out of an insecurity. It's like it's somewhere between that and like a tick. I think it's like a version of a tick and insecurity collaboration. It's a tick insecurity collab. It's a Tick Insecurity collab. Wow. It's a collab-o? It's a collab.

A Tick and an Insecurity, they did a collab-o together? Yeah, they did it, yeah. DM me for collabs. Tick. So Tick has an Instagram page, okay? And then Insecurity has an Instagram page. And one of them, it says DM me for collabs. Yes. And one of them DM'd the other person, and then they an Instagram page and they, one of them, it says, DM me for collabs and one of them in DM the other person and then they made a collab. Yes.

Yeah. Wow. They did a tick X insecurity. Yeah, exactly. And they both upload it together. Yeah. So you can post it. All right.

Okay. Okay. If that's what you think, that's what I think. That's what I think that is. Yeah. Uh, the two biggest idiots in podcasting. So, um, they want you to know, you know what you mean, but in doing so, all they're doing is proving that they do not know.

It reminds me of this joke that your C. Thomas used to do is a comedian and he would go, I don't know why it reminds me. I remember he would go, he would go, he would go, uh, to the audience. He'd say, um, who, y'all been in traffic? Anyone here been in traffic? And then they'd start to clap, they'd go, yeah. He'd say, and shit on yourself, and shit on yourself. And it made me laugh every time, dude.

Cause people go, yeah, oh no, no, no, no. What's his deal now? What's that guy doing, dude? He's just around, I see him sometimes. You know? I like that guy. Yeah,? He's just around, I see him sometimes. You know? I like that guy. Yeah, yeah, he's a funny guy. Funny guy.

Okay. Michael and I'll keep you. Your life line, all right, listen, I'm gonna try and keep this as quick as I can, all right? Love the show and love y'all so much. All right, here we go. So, me and my boy go to the gym all the time, okay? Go to the gym.

We, on this particular day, we were hitting chest, okay? Hitting chest. We were absolutely spanking benches, all right? I had already done all my sets. I spanked out like Good. 40 reps of 150, just pounding it. We like that. 40? That's okay. And so I was already done, okay? So I was spotting my friend, okay? I happened to be

on my phone because I was done my reps and he was done his set, so I was standing on my phone. He happened to be on his phone in between sets. Okay. Now this old fat piece of shit comes up to us and says, are you guys working chest or your phones? Oh, wow. I immediately get belligerently pissed, right?

Through balls. Um, and I'm the type of person to try and like, let somebody sit in their response to make them feel Yeah, but also think of a genuine response to knock them back on defense. Great job and really just fuck their day up Okay, good job But I was so immediately mad. Yeah, you get true that I instantly just said both Okay, because I just wanted them to shut the fuck up sure. Okay. It's a good comes back actually and says Doesn't really look like that's working

And the thing was working. I'm glad right now. Okay. I just said already did my sets bud And I leave it alone because I don't want to make a scene I don't want to have to move gyms or if I whooped this motherfucker's ass big fat old you know all these things Okay, I've never seen this doing the gym prior to this day But now that we've gone a couple more times.'ve seen him in there. So what I need advice is do I say something if the answer is no, okay fine Charge it to the game. It is what it is. If the answer is yes, I need a Deleah a Double Deleah Bing Bong bonkers response on this motherfucker. Just a jab at him again I see him in there just a jab at it on gap. All right

Motherfucker just a jab at him again. I see him in there just a jab at it on gab All right, so give me one of those two. I love you. I both Chris or so and Landa absolutely fucking gorgeous show Okay, thank you very much. I'm trust on the og. Oh chat. Hey, I love you. I'm so much much love fuck Yeah, yeah, dude. So so Think you should I think you should go up to him and no matter what he's doing, say, are you working on your fatness or your oldness? Oh, wow. Today.

Imagine he did that a week later. He saw it. Just like this, like this. Hey, remember me? I was over there with a thing and I was, just wanted to ask you, are you working on your fat fitness or your oldness? I think at this point you gotta leave it,

you gotta leave it alone, dude. Also, old men, old women I guess, but old men, it's like they think the world and everyone in it owe them everything, dude. And it's like, dude, we don't owe you our place in line. We don't owe you our fucking seat. We don't owe you the better seat on the plane that you didn't get, but I got. We don't fucking owe you anything.

You're fucking what? 68? I'm congratulations. I'm a different age. That's a lot younger than you We're the same Equal value though you fucking asshole. Hmm. Anyway, go on Wow I'm gonna cut us on in line at KFC. I Mean bro, you brought this up on the show before and also no, I don't and he it was like

Yeah, you said something. He was like your elders. I'm And we were like, we don't give a shit at KFC, bro. We want our fucking chicken. Hey bro. Get behind us. Yeah. Um, I never forgot that. I never forgot. Maybe it's just you like the fucking thing with the dirt at the house shaped me. That's why I hate old people. That's why you just got to, yeah. Well, it is weird, but maybe every time he walks by, you ever see him, and every time he walks by, you just go like this.

Could you imagine? Could you imagine? Hi, yeah, we got a complaint. The manager, gym manager. You're walking around like a fat guy. What kind of bothers me more about the whole thing is that, is his second response. It doesn't look like that's working out. It looks like it's working out great.

Well, yeah, he's fit. You just did 40 fucking pumps and then you're on your phone. You're doing great at both. Really? Because I look like this and I'm getting some pussy. So yeah, really? Because I look at this and look at the fire tweet I'm making. So he did it wrong. You already won that, that actually by saying both

actually you return the slam and he couldn't get off the mat he's still on the mat and that's that if he snaps at you again ever wrapping just fucking so long just that if he snaps just plainly call him a fat guy fat guy. Oh my god. Could you imagine fat guy? Yeah, anyway, and then that's it then it's over Because there's certain things that people like real asshole it seems a true asshole and they have like a really like unwanted quality They're gonna get it dragged out into the light. They deserve it. You're a piece of shit. You're mean. Everybody hates you and you're fat.

Somebody's going to call you fat and you deserve it. When I turn 50, dude, in a bunch of years, it's on. A bunch of years. Yeah, in a bunch of years. It is on. That is the day where I go, now I'm letting everyone know how they make everyone feel. OK, this is how we do it.

I go, fat guy. That's how they make everyone feel. Okay. This is how we do it. I go fat guy. That's the kind of shit I do. That's too young. 50? Yeah, that's, that's like a young, you're still way too young. That's kind of why it's kind of mostly the cool though.

I understand it's too young, but that's like when you go like, cause it's still like, cause also like, especially if you still have some swag around, you know, and you're just like fat guy and you're 50, that's pretty dope, dude. I don't know. I still think 50. Wow. He's been walking around with a shitty ass the whole time, you know? Oh, so yes.

Oh yeah. I mean, it's just so mysterious. A toilet roll. That's so weird. What just happened? We can't even, that, that, that honestly, and JFK will always be the biggest mysteries, even though we know how our producer just walked to the entrance of the studio kneeled down open the door open the door kneeled down came with his hand that went out the door pulled inside to the studio one roll of toilet paper brought the roll of toilet paper into the bathroom

and left it there and came back and sat down at his desk. Which for sure means he took his shit earlier and still has a messy butt. No, it doesn't mean that. Well, it means he realized he ran out and someone brought it up. When I called it out, when I called it out, he's like, well, I can't wipe my ass now, can I? So now he's left the shit outside. No.

I went in there and saw that we were out yeah and so I got more yeah and brought it in I know we're gonna do more stuff and we might not shit again you never know though one of you guys will need it and I blow my nose now just because of that I'm not shitting no matter what I'll throw up if I have to protest I'll throw up if I have to protest. I'll throw up if I have to do one more before we got to go. Okay. Michael Anachi. Yo, what's up, Chris? What's up, Matt Starseed and Cody? I'm coming at you from the Virgin Islands. Love you guys very much. I'm listening currently to the episode where the guy's talking about the silverware drawer and the little insets. Oh yeah. And the actual answer, it shouldn't be four. There should be six slots and there should be two knives two forks and two spoons. Yeah, that's on the manufacturer

So fuck them. Oh, but anyway, I'm calling because uh, okay, actually something kind of tragic to show you This is maybe gonna ruin your day shows us his dick. Oh, I'm not look. It's almost think this is a joke However, it is not. Oh my god. This is our silverware drawer. What? There's Legos in it! We couldn't find an inset that fit one of those things that fit well in this drawer because it's so large.

My wife said, I don't care. Just throw shit in there. Wow, that's... The wife said that? And she said it doesn't bother her. Wow, good on her. Sorry for the audio listeners. Just imagine chaos in a drawer.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, dude, there's also Legos in it, you know, condoms. For those of the audio, there's, there's forks, knives, Legos, scissors, condoms, vials of blood. For all... If she doesn't care at all. And a cassette and a VHS of biodome.

And she clearly doesn't. You have to get one. You have to have, you personally. He said that they don't fit. Dude, get a- No, the drawers are so big, the normal ones don't fit right. But something would fit, get two.

Yeah, you guys would make it very easily. There are things that just divide and you can just stretch them to the end of the drawers. Oh really? Yeah, we have one. I mean there's all sorts of bullshit, you know? Yeah. Cody dude, get one of those pieces of bullshit

and fix the debt, be the savior. Yeah, I, that's, I mean, I don't. That's something built. Would I care? I don't know if I'd care if that was my. Oh, that would drive me fucking out. Really? Yeah dude, yeah, dude. Yeah. Really?

Because you just want the thing you want. You want to go and you want to know where it is. You want to grab it without even fucking thinking. Buy some wood from Home Depot. What? Buy some wood. You could do... Well, that's even asking... That might be asking too much even. Wood. Eat with your hands forever. Build something. Just get one of those inset fucking things.

Eat with your hands from now on. And yeah, eat with your hands and protest. But it's crazy that your wife doesn't care. Yeah, that's the thing a woman really cares about, tidiness in the home. And organization, yeah. Organization, yeah. Rather.

Oh my God. Any girl I dated, if she saw my fucking drawer like that, she would have broken up with me. Yeah, it's a red flag. It's a red flag. And frankly, Cody, I think it's a red flag for you. I think you should leave with me. Yeah, it's a red flag. It's a red flag. In fact, Cody, I think it's a red flag for you. I think you should leave your wife. Oh, he's doing it too.

It's his house. She decided to not have it so he should leave his wife. Swim back to America. Okay, thanks. Appreciate you guys. Thank you very much. Go to chrisley.com to get tickets for my show. I'll be all a bunch of different areas.

Go look. Thank you. Patreon.com slash Matt and Leah we're fucking taking off live very very soon the end of this month baby baby