Lifeline - 168. The Green Episode

Episode Date: July 6, 2025

LIFELINE ✨LUXURY✨ is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/lifelineluxury⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Extra episodes every month, no advice, all for $5. Our Patreon is also the exclusive home to all the live podcasts which we film and upload! 💵 Use code LIFELINE for 20% off your first purchase at https://custclothing.com - premium closet staples for you 🤳 Want to submit to Lifeline? Go here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠forms.gle/EYbqjvyy1A9r728Y9⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🎧 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠apple.co/3NG2G2G⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🔊 Subscribe on Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠spoti.fi/3NPUwoT⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🔗 All our links: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠linktr.ee/watchlifeline⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Hello! We have moved studios. And? We were going to try and do a green screen thing, and we realized it wasn't going to work, and did not have the time to repaint it in time for this episode. And rather than deliver a horribly keyed in background, we are just leaving it green, ok? Today we have a guy with a semi-disastrous seeming long distance relationship brewing, and we're also talking about biking trails vs hiking trails among other things. 💚 Lifeline is the first podcast about you, hosted by Matt D'Elia & Chris D'Elia. More LIFELINE: Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠instagram.com/watchlifeline⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Tiktok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠tiktok.com/@watchlifeline⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ More Matt D'Elia: Sign up FOR FREE For Matt's Patreon for all episodes of The Private Record and upcoming drops of Matt D'Elia is Confused Book 20 or 40 min one-on-one sessions with Matt at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mattdelia.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. More Chris D'Elia: Congratulations podcast: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠congratulationspod.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Live on tour: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠chrisdelia.com/tour⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

No Frills delivers. Get groceries delivered to your door from No Frills with PC Express. Shop online and get $15 in PC Optimum Points on your first five orders. Shop now at nofrills.ca. Hey guys, what's going on? It is Lifeline and it is July 6th, two days after, uh, after, after that's like a guy who would be a king of a place later. Anthony coughed, don't cough during my punchlines. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Don't cough, period, dude. I have few punchlines, don't cough during that.

Anthony has a razor blade COVID, by the way, whatever that is. And we don't care, we breathe it all in, we get it. Happy birthday to, oh yeah, two days ago, America. And happy birthday to Kevin Hart and Sylvester Stallone. And don't forget, one of our favorites all time, 50 Cent. Well, you know, who's obviously... Because I'm a motherfucking PIMP.

Wow. That reminded me of the... And my money, don't jiggle jiggle. We wrote... Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. That reminded me of the Emma money don't jingle jiggle we Anyway, so I wonder what he's doing now that did he is got off but we'll talk about that later. So We can you know what you got to do is sign up for the patreon patreon.com slash life on luxury. It is absolutely great Actually, we're doing a lot of content over there. So go sign up for it. We appreciate you. That alone is how this podcast keeps up. And then there's 50 plus episodes there, including two full live shows. There's almost 60 now.

Yeah, true. There's like 58 or so. There's 60. There's 60? Yeah. Nice. And then I'll be in... Because I'm a mother freaking PIMP.

And I'll be in, uh, because I'm a mother fricking PMP. And I'll be in Indianapolis. I will be in, uh, Houston. I will be in Irvine. I will be in Huntsville. I will be in Miami. I will be in a bunch of different cities. Go to chrisley.com to get those tickets right now. So, uh, Matt Dilley is confused.

2.0 live version has officially taken off there we go we are Mother freaking PMP on and popping and it is great So I'm ask got a new thing the launch went great and you you yes you if you weren't an early bird Oh gee already, which is a mistake if you weren't you can still sign up the tears are all up right now Patreon.com slash Nigel E we got a whole lot of other kind of stuff going on over there too. So, because I'm a mother freaking B I N B. All right. So also, uh, there's merch out there and I have new merch to the life rips camo

gear. I meant to wear it, but I think someone stole it. So go to chrisley.com to get that. Um, and, uh, we are in just so you know, we are in a new studio, okay? I mean if you haven't noticed yet. If you haven't noticed yet. And we've got, we got, we are trying, we're seeing what we're going to be doing with this. We're flirting with the idea of, because we already painted it, the green screen. So I don't know if there's gonna be different images back there, right? We have to work it out in editing. I don't know if there's gonna be the green screen,

we're gonna let you do it or if we're gonna switch it every now and then just for this episode but it's new and it's exciting for us so let us know what you think of the background even though we do not care we do what we want you think you it should be and if you are so inclined make clips with yeah that's true backgrounds in them so we can say hmm yeah and you can be like, hey, I had a hand in creating that show. Oh yeah.

And that's literally a forever claim you can make. Sounds like it'll open us up to a fucking lawsuit, but it's all good. But what I think is this is green screen, so we should put a little bit of it there and maybe let people do it themselves. It might be fun. Or not, I don't care.

Hey, and let us know what you think. Dude, update. The fucking penny came in. The what? The penny came in. What does that mean? Call me Mr. One Cent, dude. The fucking, I took the coffee bean to Coffee Bean today,

if you know what I'm talking about. Why would I know... No one knows what you're talking about when you say something like that. A long time ago, I ordered... Beginning of a children's story. A long time ago, I ordered the Angry DMV employee. Oh my God, you actually did that. The vanity plate? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, the car came.

The penny. Ah, makes sense. Somebody over there helped me understand. The coffee bean took, I took the coffee bean to coffee bean. It's a brown on brown, the Denzel, the Denzel. I took the Denzel. I got the Denzel today. Oh, I see what you're talking about.

Yeah, so it's out there. The angry DMV thing was a vanity plate joke. Right, but the reason why it's an angry DMV is because it's brown on the outside, brown on the inside, and I was making a racist joke because an angry DMV employee is a black lady. Because it has a fat back because it's a fat back, because it's a wagon and it has a big butt, and so I was being racist and what do you call it, bodyist. The only nice person I've ever run into at the DMV was a fat black woman. She went so far as to make sure the apostrophe

was included in my last name, which no one else has ever done. So guess what? You're wrong, you're dead wrong, and you're fat. No, no, no, I am joking about that. But there are, because the thing about it is that I mean is that black women do not suffer fools they do not suffer fools. Yeah and everybody think DMV is an idiot yeah is that what you're saying? Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah people at DMV are like where you know the the customers or the whatever you call them the drivers dude But because and they just do not suffer fools like mm-hmm mm-hmm

I'm sure mm-hmm take a take page. Yeah Like they just don't suffer full so so that's what that's what I mean And I'm making a joke that it's you know and it's all good, but we're racist right we don't mean to be racist No, we're not racist. I'm not that's a little racist. I'm not racist. Matt's a little racist. I'm not racist, nor do I mean to be racist, nor do I ever be racist. I don't ever mean to be racist. I don't ever mean to be racist. And I'll tell you this much, dude.

I'm white, and I don't know what the future holds for whites or anyone really. Everyone's going to be beige. I mean, the absolute worst politician in the history of the world. We will keep making offspring and everyone will be beige eventually. So it's okay. Don't worry about it. It will all be fine. Increased spending on strip clubs. Donald Trump could say that and it would not matter at all.

I mean, didn't he just say like, fuck Israel and fuck what, God, they're so fucking stupid or something? I actually thought that was one of the cooler things he has ever said. No, no, no, I know. He didn't even name it. He didn't say fuck Israel, but he said. He said, these two sides, he said,

frankly, these two sides have been fighting for so long, they don't know what the fuck they're doing. And he stormed off to his helicopter. Just, what, what, what, what, what, what. They've been beefing for so long, they don't even know what the fuck they're doing. Chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk, chk He's fucking talking about a wagon, dude. He's caked up. Trump is caked up. If Trump was a woman. Oh dude, look up Anthony when you do the edit. Look up his mom.

Trump's mom? Do you know about this? Mm-mm. Oh, kind of. Just Google Donald Trump mom. Mary Ann McLeod Trump, too many names. Look at that third picture. Oh, that's right.

That's right, that's him. So that's him. That's incredible. That's just him. The hair is winking at his hair. Like, here we go, this is what it's gonna be, and now it is. That was the one he clicked away from like a moron.

There we go. Incredi. Is him. Incredi. That's him nothing And more There's no mother that's ever looked more like her son in every single way Imaginable than that, you know what it looks in the tight lips even the butthole lips Okay, even the cotton candy hair. Do you think she has butthole lips? Do you think that when she eats, she uses toilet paper as a napkin?

I will say this though, that picture right there looks legitimately like Donald Trump is on SNL playing a character. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because it's that ridiculous. It is what it is. Look, old people tend to start looking ridiculous. That's just kinda how it is.

They get super old. If you saw her just in a picture, you wouldn't be like, oh, that's a, you would just be like, wow, that's crazy hair. You wouldn't be like, oh my God. You would just be like an old woman. Oh, right, right, right. Because she looks like Donald Trump.

The only reason we marvel at it is because she looks exactly like the President of the United States who happens to be her son. Right, right, now especially. Exactly. Now especially. Like her son. He's that old, yeah.

So, yeah, anyway, that's pretty wild. Hey, you know, what's her name? Kamala Harris? She was kind of a babe, huh? I never thought so. No? She always looked like Mr. Potato Head to me. Hmph.

Oh, you're ruining that for me. In fact, Google Kamala Harris and Mr. Potato Head. Let's see if anything comes up. You don't want to be racist, you know? Oh, nothing comes up. I'm the only one? Just a bubble head. I'm the only one.

I'm literally the only one. You're a trendsetter. Um... That's weird. I just figured somebody else would... Google Eric Griffin and Mr. Potato Head and a lot will come up. Um, but... I will, um... Yeah, right here.

Oh my god. Just spell it right. You're sick, so... Oh, I mean that one right there. Right there. Wow. Just so disrespectful. The fucking hat. Why are there so much of that? Well, he looks like it.

Does he? The mustache just throws it all off. He looks like Mr. Potato Hitler. Okay, well. But in that, I'm saying, not in general. I understand what you're saying, but. So, you know. Eric Griffin, and this dawned on me recently,

Eric Griffin is one of those guys that could have four million dollars or like $48. Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Yeah. You look at him and you go, hmm. He's either rich and comfortable or he's like desperate for like an all state commercial. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, pretty much just what an actor does, you know? Yeah, I guess that's true. The more, oh God, I mean, I don't wanna get into this. We should start soon. The more I think about the profession of actor, the more I realize how just truly terrible of an idea it is to become one. Because even if you're that,

who's that guy that plays Reacher? Alan Richson. That big guy. Alan Richson. He's such a pussy on the inside, but he's huge, big buff guy plays Reacher. Like, Reacher ends, what's he gonna do? He could literally never work again. Well, he has to be an action star. He has to be like the rock.

But if he fails at that, which he very likely will. Right, right, right. He can't just play like... No, I actually think that that guy could make a career. He's really good. I mean, he's wild on the internet. He's super like... He's so full of fucking horse shit. Yeah, that, that, I'm taking that out of it. He's good though. He's good at what he does. Why are celebrities gonna learn, dude?

Besides comedians who like have to be out there for their brand, I'm not just saying that because you're here. Oh, I know, no. I hate all comedians. I know. Except you, but that's separate. Yeah, you've always said it.

Celebrities who- Yeah, it's celebrities Who yeah, it's so stupid dude are just constantly out there. Just don't get the game. They don't get it Hey Will Smith, you know why everyone hates you besides the fact that you slapped Chris Rock on stage in the most disgusting act in live televised history you can't Go anywhere or turn around anywhere and not see your annoying fuck face That is pretty annoying go away for a little while Why did everyone start hating Chrissy Teigen because no one right turn around and not see her fucking lion main face

Right well right all right, and that is. And the same goes for fucking, you know. It hasn't happened at Kevin Hart. Yeah it has. Motherfuckers literally was on my ATM this morning. But I, no, no, no, no. Get away. But I'm saying people don't hate him yet.

I do. Oh, all right. So it's happening, the tides are turning. I don't. I've generally, I don't want to see somebody too much period I don't think Matt can be the barometer here. That's true Matt just Well, he hates everybody. That's not true. No, he doesn't hate everybody but he does he does not like I

don't like fucking clear like Bald-faced horse shitters, right and that is what almost every famous person is. That's true, that is true. Like you look at Adrian Burr's Instagram and you're just like, oh my God, you were almost out of touch.

Well, he's a crazy, that maybe he's a crazy person. I don't know. Have you seen his art that he sold for $4 million a can? Come on. Oh, that's the most Hollywood shit I heard in a while. Let's see it and then we'll start. Are you kidding me?

Wow, that is just- Just look at the art though. This is what I'm talking about. Okay. Oh wow. Whoa. That's so derivative. That's his art. But that's so... it's already... we've seen it. It's... it's dog shit. Sorry, $4 million? Kane's Chicken. They're raising Kane's logo there. At Cannes, he unveiled One Piece. Look, he literally puts Basquiat on his art. Oh my god.

Like he's some dumb 19-year-old that dropped out of RISD and moved to LA and was like, can I get a gallery show? So wait, hold on. So what? So he sold hold on, so what? So he sold what, one piece? It was at Cannes or something, and it was like, art is my passion. I'm an ugly version of Matt D'Alia, and this is my art, you know?

And I love it more than acting. And did he make money on it? A ton! Cause everyone at Cannes was like, oh, look at that one, the Ferrari one. It's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful. It's Marilyn Monroe, it's so meaningful, it's beautiful. What a joke. All right at Kent was like, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful,

it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful,

it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's yeah, it's better. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah for sure right he thinks he's good. Yeah, I'm gonna do that because people Suck the crank of anyone with a more money. Okay, let's start Yeah, let's start but that is good Here we go. Yo man Chris Griffin here from New York Mac omets. I need some advices regarding my hair

Got none been shaving it for seven, eight years. It was becoming an uphill battle and this is just now my look. I like it. People tell me it looks good. I got the beard. And if I couldn't grow the beard, I'd look like Humpty Dumpty or something.

Despite that, people will occasionally ask me if I have considered getting a hair transplant. Not gonna get one. So I need a spin move that I can use when they broach that topic. How do I kinda just shut them down without sounding like a dick or sounding super insecure or bitter?

And then two more quick things. Matt, I like weird movies. During COVID you suggested Onib Baba, which I love. So anytime a friend or someone else needs a horror movie suggestion or on Halloween time, that's the movie I suggest. Love it. And Chris, I got a quick question.

When's the last time you found yourself uttering extaculations of amazement? A long time ago. K. K. Probably that week that came on the podcast. I have a tier on my Patreon in which I have a show that I explicitly talk about

movies of all kinds. Like this guy, get happy about what I say about movies and sign up. Baby, baby. What's Onibaba? Onibaba is- Is it a horror movie? Yes.

I gotta see it, I didn't know about this. Yeah. It's a Japanese movie from the 50s. And it's one of the best movies ever made, horror or not. Google it real quick. Just look at some crazy ass images from it. I think it means demon woman. I think that's just what it stands for. Oh, wow.

That's redundant. Look at that mask. Just call it, I mean, that's not scary. The one under it. Yep. That is what's up. I should get that hanging in Calvin's room. It will go well.

Oh, it's so good, dude. Is it? Yeah. Okay, anyway. You would like it. Yeah, probably. Oh. How'd they get a picture of Christian

when she wakes up in the morning? Yeah, yeah, I um, yeah, what was it? You have a good head, dude. You have a great head. You've got like the top kind of head for someone who's bald. Great job. Yeah, that's true. So don't even worry about it.

Go like this. Oh, when you get your dick in large and then moonwalk away. Hey, have you ever thought about getting your dick in large? See it. Moonwalk away. Learn the moonwalk. How do you think it goes? What asshat has the balls to ask this guy? Oh my god, that happens all the time. How do you think it goes? People ask me if I would do it because I have, you know, a bigger forehead. They're like, would you, you should, you should get, you're gonna need to to get that surgery. It's a lot of times it's trolls on the internet, but I'm like,

well, I, I, I don't, yeah. You have a full head of hair. Yeah, I know. No, I know. I like, I like my hair. I start crying. But I don't get it. But it's okay. So in his case, Well, he's bald. How do we think someone does it? What do they think they say? Hey, have you ever thought of getting a hair transplant thing? Have you ever thought about going to Turkey and getting your thin hair?

You know what? It's a really weird thing to ask. A buddy of mine recently, there's this really successful place in Chicago that does it. They charge perfolical. That, what? And on their website,

they have all the famous Chicagoans that have done it. Fucking, it's like Dion Sanders is in there. Like really, really famous people have lent their name to this guy who does it. I have a friend who did it. He said it was just like life savings worth amount of money. Dude, he's growing his hair back. It is, yeah.

It's just, they literally, the reason they charge by the follicle is they do it by the follicle. Well, they do it by the follicle. Well they do it by the follicle. His hair is just growing back. Anyway, this guy shouldn't do that. Yeah. This guy looks like a guy.

He should do it, but only get like five or six follicles. Who should, yeah, like almost like a baby. He should do it like. A cartoon baby. Like, I mean, you have the perfect head for a bald guy. Yeah. It looks like you're supposed to be bald, is what I'm trying to say.

And the beard works. I don't like upside down head, but you're kind of killing it. So I would say, yeah, it is crazy. Wow, per follicle, what is it? It can't be like, it can't even be one sense of follicle, right? I don't know how much it.

Oh bro, no, no, no, no. We're talking like you do this surgery and you are $40 dollars lighter right in the pocket right right right that I mean that that I am I that yeah it's just extremely expensive and the reason it is is because the guy has like so much of a body of work that he's made people look like they have hair yeah and anyone who's bald like I mean I mean, I have bald friends and honestly, I think.

Not me. I mean, this is just like anecdotal, but like more than half of them are like, I'm bald. I don't know, I just shaved the whole thing and I don't care. I mean, think about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But some of my friends like still are hanging on

and they would do this in a heartbeat. And that's- That's not odd. It's just, we put so much value on hair. And hair is the only thing, like there are certain guys, there really are certain guys that like, like Jason Statham looks amazing, right? But like, if you look at some guys that are,

if you look at some actors and Google them, what would you look at, bald? You go, oh man, it's a good thing they have hair. You know? Dude, Jason Statham, me. Yeah, Marco. That's you, yeah, you too. I think you're the top too.

Bruce Willis, peak in Bruce. Andre Agustin. Jason Momoa with no hair at all would be crazy. Not just bald, but no beard, bro. You're like, here's the thing. You, he might have a bad chin. We don't know about that. That's crazy.

Dude, if you're with someone for a while, like as a woman, and then they shave and they've a bad chin, holy Christ. That, that, that's you go, Oh, I didn't know you got a gullet or something. Look at that. that's terrible. But we're just not used to it. But okay, anyway, is what it is. There's this thing now with really serious big buff actors and it's like there's this career pivot they do to make even more money.

Where they're like, let's put you in a Lays commercial and have you be funny. And then Chris Hemsworth did it in that one movie where he takes his shirt off and every woman like, ah, and he has pussy squirts. But it's like the joke is that he's just like a regular guy and he's like whoa, you know? But that's like a thing now where guys who just don't know how to act but who are just buff,

and stud guys are like, oh I'm gonna do the funny guy thing. And it's like, hey Jason Momoa dude, let me tell you the first thing in the world that I know about you just by looking at you. You are not funny. Well, there's a difference between being jovial and charismatic than being funny.

Like people would say, Neil Brennan used to say this, but he would be like, George Clooney would say, people would say George Clooney's funny. It's like, yeah, but put him next to Norm MacDonald. Like, yeah, you know, it's like. I don't believe in that scale, I guess is what I'm saying. It's like, and it's the same as what people say, for what it is when they talk about a movie.

Yeah. Like when somebody is like, when they talk about just like Jingle All the Way, they'll be like, for what it is, it's great. I'm like, dude, no, that's a great movie. Why are you like taking away from it? Just cause like it's goofy and Phil Hartman's in it. Like fuck you.

Maybe because they think it's easier to make. It's not. Let me tell you right now, it is not easier to make Jingle All the Way than it is to make the fucking, the Blade Runner, the new Blade Runner. It's just like, it's just not. The Revenant hiding in a bear. Sinbad hiding in a bear.

Man! Just in the bear. You better not growl. It's gonna be sad when Sinbad's old. Sinbad is old. He better die before he gets old. He's old. I saw him on a plane recently. Not recently, a few years ago. And it was uh. Was it kind of weird? No, he was cool. He was cool. But he's just an old guy. But everyone gets old. Look at him. Look at him. Oh wait, I kinda take it back, he looks good old. He, oh god, that kid dude is funny. Yeah, remember when he did the dance about being the guy too old at the club,

moving, dancing with one leg? That's like one of the funniest things. He was on the plane, he had a leopard handkerchief on his knee, like that he was using to wipe his head. On his knee? It was just like way, so uncomfortable to pull it up for later, like if I need it.

Oh. He was like, what's up, Chris? I was like, oh shit, he knows who I am, that's awesome. Really? Yeah. Oh, wow. It was one of the, I was like, oh, this is amazing. That's really good for, can you just look up how old he is

instead of looking at pictures of him right now? He's 125. 68. Oh! How is that that old? I thought he'd be way older. I thought he was younger than that. Oh really?

His real name is not Sinbad? David Atkins, interesting. Oh wow. Interesting, interesting. How about that Mandela effect thing that is the big one with him? Not for me. That might be the biggest one.

I don't think so. Kazan was a big movie for me when I was a kid. Do you think the biggest one is him. Not for me. That might be the biggest one. I don't think so. Because, cause him was a big movie for me when I was. Do you think the biggest one is a Nelson Mandela one? Yeah, I get that's what it's from, right? I mean, I, God damn, this is mind bending. I distinctly remember the New York Times headline that said Nelson Mandela dies in jail.

Yeah, I don't know that one. It's just like, what? That one's not one for me. Just like he didn't, he did not do that. Yeah. And don't know that one. Just like what? That one's not one for me. Just like he didn't, he did not do that. Yeah. And millions of us think that. Yeah, that one's not, that one's not mine. I don't know that one at all and I never read the paper when I was younger, so. I looked at the Reddit thing, like on this one time and there are like just the most earth-shatteringly dumb theories about why. Well, people think that we're controlled,

and they just changed history. It is kind of weird when you look back and you go, OK, how did the pyramids get there? Giants? OK. Oh, no, no, no, no. The Egyptians did it? Right.

Yeah, OK. Oh, they're our size. Hello, flying saucers? OK. Is that actually the future, and we're in a loop? Okay, yeah. Oh yeah, no, no, no, no, no. Egyptians just pushed those million ton pound things up there. Okay, okay, okay. Oh no. Turned into an episode of Ancient Aliens. Just actually just sort of into an episode of Ancient Aliens. I love it. Ancient Aliens has got to be the worst show on TV.

Because the stuff they're saying didn't happen, and they're saying, maybe this happened. And it didn't. And they're not even saying, this happened. They're saying, this could have happened. Dude, I could do an episode of Ancient Aliens tomorrow and just write it and do it and be like, maybe it was fucking marshmallows. Yeah. And it's the same show because it's not marshmallows. You know what's really, really, really, really troubling about all of this? What? It is on the history. I know, I know, I know. I know that's so

that's so stupid. Hey dude they need to stop. Bro what is it with channels that are channels and they have a thing and then they all it's the Starbucks of it all. It's the it's the it's the hell yeah we made coffee but psych now we're a sandwich place. Oh so you could just go anywhere and get anything. You could walk into any building, get anything you want. I mean, you could get food at fucking IKEA. You could go to a channel, you could go to a channel and watch anything.

Like the military channel is steps away from producing their first live sitcom, where they're just like honey back for more. Oh Did you take the chopper? Yep got shot three times. Oh The neighbor haha over the fence It's like dude every challenges that you can get anything anywhere you don't need to do good. There's no specific, you know There's no specificity anymore. No. It sucks.

No. But you know what? It's all good, my babies. No. No? No. Yeah, no. I mean, I'm agreeing with you.

No. Right. All right, let's do another one. OK. We'll do that one more time. Hey, Chris and Matt. I'm Nick. I'm from San Clemente, California.

And I've got a question for you. I love you guys. Love the podcast. But I'm going to try and make this. But here's the situation. I go to school in Indiana. And I met this girl about for you. Love you guys love the podcast, but I'm gonna try and make this here's the situation I go to school in Indiana, and I met this girl about two weeks before school I did we only hung out for about three days like we probably only had 24 hours total together Everything went well we hung out

sparks flew great last day school comes Last night together everything goes well. We hug, I kiss her, you go, okay, three months, we'll see each other. So we've been talking, right, on the phone, every day, texting, FaceTiming, it's going well. We'll probably start dating after I get back to school. It's kind of seems how the direction is.

But here's my question. Here's the advice that I need, boys. She lives in Vegas, right? And she has this one guy friend and they hang out one on one, which is chill, you know, we're not dating right now So I don't I'm not in the position to set any boundaries or anything like that. What my question is How would you feel about your girl hanging out with a guy one-on-one? me personally I Think it's disrespectful to the relationship honestly and getting Armenian, but I think that might come from a place of like insecurity

That's just personal to me. Yeah, but I'm interested to hear you guys's opinion on it. Please let me know Also, I forgot to add I don't know much like about the relationship like how they met or their like history Like for all I know it could be your ex and they could just speak like doing the fucking horizontal mombo But you know my biggest question is like how do I get over the overthinking because that's huge for me? I think of the worst-case scenario and like it kills her How do I just prevent this from fucking just destroying me mentally let me know guys Said pissing in the shower is barbaric Be in a coffin a whole thing on his head are gonna be in Abu Dhabi gonna be

Bitch. I'm gonna be in a coffin later. The whole thing on his head are gonna be in Abu Dhabi. Gonna be, gonna be in a coffin. Filters, Snapchat filters. In a sandstorm. Dude, he's gonna be in a coffin, in a coffin. Yeah, so anyway. As they're closing it.

Yeah, yeah. So here's the deal, you were right in say you created it. Now, let me tell you exactly what's gonna happen. And I want you to listen clearly. I was gonna say, I'm only gonna say it once, but you can rewind it so it doesn't really matter anyway. So here's what's going to happen.

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Learn more at TurboTax.ca slash business tax. If you're a normal guy, you're going to say, hey, you hang out with this guy one on one and I'm a little worried because I trust you but I don't know him so I don't trust him. She's gonna say, no, I do know him and trust me, you can trust him. In fact, I can't wait for you to meet him. You're gonna like him too.

We're all gonna be friends. I guarantee it. It's gonna go on like that for a while. You're gonna put it in your back pocket. You're gonna give her a long leash because that's what she deserves. Not comparing her to a pet. Just using it. You know piss on trees. A colloquialism. Put her in a cage a little bit. It's a manner of speaking. Okay. Gonna give her a lot of leeway. Alright. And then one day she's gonna call you and it's gonna be late. Oh no.

And she's gonna be crying. And she's gonna be telling you about how her friend, this guy friend, either tried to kiss her, or tried to, you know, David Copperfield. I hate dudes. Or just fuckin' did something even more aggressive that I don't even wanna talk about. I hate dudes. just fucking did something even more aggressive that I don't even wanna talk about.

I hate dudes. So now here's the real problem. You cannot do anything about that until it happens. No. And more than that, you cannot say, I told you so. Oh dude, that's the thing. You go, mm-hmm, and what'd he do? Mm-hmm, and you're sad about it?

Mm-hmm, okay. Told you, bitch. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. So now it comes- Message C1. What it comes down to is you are young. Obviously she's young. You guys are still in school.

This is like a rite of passage for every single person, every man, every woman, everybody in any relationship. This is how it goes. So coming from someone who knows how it goes and has gone that route more than twice even, just do, know what I said, do what I said. Taking your sweet time with it, you know?

And fucking ride the ride, or break up with her. Those are the only two options. You have no other options. If you do something else, like a fucking young idiot, you're gonna fuck it up, and it's gonna get all fucked up, and your life will be fucked up. Go ahead. You're taking such a sweet time with it. And so, but I think that

you are... you... she... dude, hey, they're fucking. No, no, DC, no. And if they're not... But my point is, if they're not, it doesn't matter. You guys aren't together. So her hanging out with another guy might as well be fucking, dude. It might as well be. Why? Because it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

In the grand scheme of things, you're either gonna start dating her or not, but that's not happening right now. Okay. So you could say, Hey, I'm really interested in you. I want to, I'm, I have feelings for you. I don't want you to be with anyone else, but you're not doing that. So, so you have no, you have no right to say anything to her about it.

It's just, these are all things you're creating. So you either, I mean, what I would do is find a way to be okay with that in my body or stop talking to her as much, or just say, yo, I don't want you hanging around with that guy one-on-one like that. I don't know who he is and I want you to be my girl and I wanna be your guy. And if she says yes, then okay. And then you leave it alone. You trust her about it or, you know.

I have a question. Aren't they already that or no, I'm sorry. No, no, no. He said, we're probably gonna start dating once the summer ends. But have not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think he just.

That part I agree with. He just kissed her. I mean, I would be a. You gotta come forward with the thing about, look, I wanna be your guy. I think assuming they're fucking is not the worst idea. I... Because it doesn't matter.

You're not dating. I think it's an incorrect assumption... It might be. ...to assume that they're fucking if she's not saying that they're more than friends. Dude, she's... Give her a little fucking credit. That's fine, but that's what I'm saying. Give her a little credit when the credit for me is,

do what you're doing and we're planning on hanging out in two months, right? At which point, who cares what's already transpired though? Yeah. Like who cares if he's already fucking. That's what I'm saying. The friend has already done this. And this.

I mean, Dr. Strange. And this. Dr. Strange, pervert Dr. Strange. And this. And this. And this. And this. I mean, you know.

And this. Watching a car. While humping. Throwing a, throwing, shooting a basketball. All right, telling someone directions. Uh. Oh man. Yeah, all right, you know.

How about romance, huh? No, what? How about romance? What do you mean? How about romance? How about romance, huh? What do you mean? Just, are you learning English?

Just how about romance? How about romance? How about like this. A saxophone player, Kenny G. Telling someone directions while playing the saxophone. What? What? With their hair? You're gonna wanna go over the freeway. Rararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararararar With their hair, you know, and then you just fucking just Yeah

your penis Getting fucked in the butt. All right, so sitting on a dildo. So Yeah, all right. Well, that's cool. One time I was dating a girl Trailing off a new girl and she was looking through all my cool books on my bookshelf and she said what's this and it was a butt plug You have a butt plug? No it was an ex's. It was your ex's butt plug on the bookshelf dude? Correct. Oh she said what's this? Do you think she knew what it was? Yeah she was like what is that? Oh wow.

Yeah not like what is that? So what'd you say? My ex's butt plug? I said oh that's a butt plug. Nicole used to have it. Hell yeah name? Sir. Sir. I'm trying to order Quiznos. But plug, you know. Hey, rename it. Hey, rebrand it. Anus sealant? No, call it like, you know. Anus sealant. Do you guys have anus sealant? Dude, that's hot. Oh, yeah, you get the anus sealant. Butt plug though? Like it's a fucking electrical unit? You know what I'm talking about? Is there something wrong with your car? Ah, it's the butt plug. Yeah, yeah. That's kind of what it sounds like, you know? Yeah, yeah.

You need some anus sealant. It should be called an asshole widener. Absolutely not. Ha ha ha ha ha.hole Widener. Yeah. All right. I'll agree to disagree. What do we got next?

Okay. Hey guys. This is just like a follow-up to something you guys were talking about in your last episode about influencers and all that stuff and people who aspire to be influencers. I have an eight-year-old daughter and she aspires to be an influencer and a YouTube streamer, video game streamer. She just wants to be a famous YouTuber slash influencer. What are your thoughts on like a child wanting to do that for a living? Like if, you know, Calvin came to you and said he wanted to be an influencer,

like how would you react? Well, I was curious about what you guys think. Love you guys. Bye. I don't think, uh, that I don't, I don't think that it's that alarming because most kids when they're kids, they want to be something like Calvin was like literally the other day you know he was hanging out with another girl my friend's kids

and he was and she was like jumping around he was like it's so cool that you're doing this because I'm an actual stunt man and ninja like they just think that they're they're already that thing and They want to be like, it used to be actor, a movie star, or you know, action hero. And now it's just turned into streamer, YouTube. But it doesn't mean when they get older, that's what they're gonna want to do. They're just not mature yet and don't understand things.

Yeah, but, excuse me, but the problem is an eight year old could just do it. Yeah the indoctrination Yeah, it wouldn't matter if the mom said oh great, or I don't know honey. She just that is you're right You're right right she could start now right now right can't be a garbage man now Not that that's a good career not this back here. It pays nice, but I'm just saying conundrum for a parent is With the future that is coming. I'm looking for oh shut up No, he's so sick of that, was so sick of the one we were talking about.

The conundrum that a parent faces is that they want the best for their kid, but the future that is coming, it's hard to know what the best for that kid will be. Will it be 10 years of medical school? The answer is absolutely not. No, I know. Will it be a trade school?

Probably, because everyone's gonna need a fucking toilet to fix, or an AC to work, but that's beyond the point. People aren't gonna need the high-end jobs that exist now. So the only, and I've thought about this a lot, the only surefire thing that cannot be replaced by AI is a persona.

If you have a persona that people like and want to interact with and engage with, there is no replacing that and there never will be. So she's eight though. She's eight. She shouldn't be thinking about a career. Oh sorry. So it's like this weird thing of like, She's eight though. She's eight. She shouldn't be thinking about a career. Oh sorry.

So it's like this weird thing of like she's not, it sounds shallow and it sounds all this fucked up shit but she's onto something without realizing it or not. That is one of the only future surefire ways to carve a place in this new world. That is one of the only future surefire ways to carve a place in this new world. Yeah, I think that, yeah, I mean, magician will be the last job to go though, because who cares if AI can do magic tricks?

They're robots. It's only impressive if a human does it. Well, it's the same idea then. It's an extension of your persona. Gymnast. If you can do magic, then you're separating yourself from those who can't do magic, and magic is scarce and still something

a computer can't do. Well, no, it can do, but who cares if it doesn't? Maybe. You know? Oh, look, let me saw this lady in half. Ha ha. Oh yeah, but you just know how to trick us. You're a robot.

You don't learn how to do it sure I'm smart so anyway everyone should look into being a magician that's young the point is we live in a magic only thing that is AI proof not the only thing but one of the only things that is truly AI proof is persona I'm talking about public persona. Not you and your personality out in the world. I'm talking about a persona you develop and create and foster and put out into the world that people care about and wanna interact with.

Because they will always show up for you. Because you're connecting with them and they're connecting with you. And I don't know, man, it's not a bad, I used to be like, that's so fucking stupid and shallow. It's not, dude, it's just the way the world is. And if you wanna think that about the world, then that's fine, but.

You still gotta make money. The answer to your question, though, is if you wanna let her try it out, you control all of it. Yeah, for sure. You read the messages that she gets, you read the comments, she's just gonna get, and I hate to say this,

she's gonna get creep ass messages from like 45 year old guys in Idaho. And it's just gonna be upsetting. It just is. And you're gonna have to deal with that. Think about that too. Yeah. Yeah. All right, next one. I'm looking for advice as far as when it would be appropriate for me to jump into a situation where a guy won't stop making inappropriate comments or sending messages to my wife. Oh. After she has like already made it clear like hey, I'm happily married

Do you see that we have two beautiful girls like we're happy blah blah, you know, and I'm a confident do It's not about anything Insecure it's a respect thing right? So when do you think it would be appropriate for me to step in if? What my wife is telling someone just isn't coming through. Oh, well now. Appreciate your guys' time. Yeah. If she's tried, if she's been like, yeah, I'm happily married, you gotta stop.

It's annoying that she even has to do this, but if she's been clear, then definitely you should say something. If she hasn't, you can still say something, but also she can say something and see if that works. Yeah, I think if she, if there's been no comfort, I think he said she has, but there's been nothing. She should say it first. Like sometimes hints aren't enough for a guy. I hate to say that, it's true. Like the guys are different. You don't know what guy from what guy is going to be, you know, able to understand science. So, you know, I mean, if it's someone she works with, you know, if it's someone online, you could just block, but if it's someone you work with, yeah, you gotta sometimes be pretty clear for a guy.

It sucks. But yeah, if she hasn't let her be the one to say, hey, whatever, it's awkward, I don't think it's cool. If he still does it, get all up in there, send him a dick pic and say, I'm sorry, is this what you were looking for? Because this is what you're gonna get if you keep texting my wife. I'm gonna fuck you, bro, we're gonna date. Me and you.

Me and you're gonna leave my wife, you're gonna leave yours. I'm gonna go on candlelight dinners and I'm gonna put this thing in this picture inside your fucking butt hole and attach a butt plug in the mail. Hey dude, you like picnics? We're gonna be going on plenty of picnics.

I am going to be Amazon priming Anus Sealer to my house. And we are going to be having a fucking day, dude. What if he did text him that? You would never hear from him. That'd be amazing. On July 18th, it's the blue crew to the rescue. It's smurfing time. Hefty.

Can you even lift, bro? Grouchy. I hate the radio. Quiet. There's something important to tell you. I have no idea what he just said. And smurf that. That's how it's done, boys.

Smurfs. Only in theaters July 18th. Oh, and show up in the cutoff shirt, because that's great. Yeah, he seems like a, you know. Yeah, and show up in those cut off shirt because that's great. Yeah, he seems like a, you know, yeah, it's a respecting. It's not even, I mean, it's a respecting to your wife, really. Yeah, it's a respecting to you. Not to you, yeah.

It is a respecting to you. Sure, but it's not if he doesn't know him. It's not a respecting to you personally. It's a respecting to her marriage, which includes you. But more than that, it's a disrespect thing to her. She's asked him to stop. If she has. Oh dude, really brief story.

I keep saying she has, you don't know if she has. Not that many people knows this guy named Jared Porter was in the baseball industry for a while, like player development. Sounds right, because Jared Porter steps up to the bat, that totally trashed. He's got a general manager job for the New York Mets, which is as high as you can go on the player development,

player acquisition side of things. He got hired by the New York Mets to be their general manager, and then within days, several reports came out about him sending unsolicited photos of himself to female reporters in the clubhouse in Arizona where he used to work. He used to work with Diamondbacks.

And it turned out to be dick pics. And there were, you could see it, you could see the female reporter saying, this is highly inappropriate, I don't wanna receive these things. And he would respond with dick pics. Oh wow. You are a fucking idiot.

Well that's what he wanted. I mean, that's what he wanted. You are just a, beyond like illegal, whatever like pervert shit. You're so stupid. Well, but it's beyond stupidity because that's by design. He wanted that. He wanted to be told, hey, don't do that.

That's really weird. He wanted to be like the whole, yeah, but you can't even, you can't even, you can't stop me kind of thing is fucked up. That's the darkest shit about it, yeah. So yeah, he got what he deserved, he got fired, right? 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, that's what happens.

But he knew that. The Mets were so embarrassed, they were just like, we apologize. James Porter. You should have been able to fucking figure that out in a background check, you know? I guess, yeah. James Porter. James Porter. You should have been able to fucking figure that out in the background check. I guess, yeah. James Porter.

Jared Porter. Jared Porter steps up to the bat. He recently got fired from being a general manager of the Mets for consistently sending dick pics to non-consensually to the worst possible kinds of people reporters swinging a miss. Swinging a miss. Could only have been worse as he stands in the batter's box. Could only have been worse if he sent it to the President and long fly ball deep to center and he's out. Could have only been worse if he sent it to an actual judge, swing and a miss,

strike two. Could only have been worse if he sent it to Jesus Christ in heaven and Jesus was having a bad day and wasn't forgiving anyone. Swinburne's saying he's out. Capital of the world bleep both those Anthony. Thanks. Yeah well I wonder if they'll be able to crack the case on what you said but I just think it was the funniest thing that ever happened on TV dude. Yeah it was like well I mean you haven't seen on dateable. You're such a dumb idiot. it was the funniest thing that happened on TV, dude. I mean, you haven't seen it on dateable, but yeah.

You're such a dumb idiot. He was the voice of the Cincinnati Reds for decades, dude. Then one utterly idiotic comment ruins his career. Can't believe that one too, I wonder if they'll crack the case. But I will tell you this. That is whoever's doing the sound, that guy should be fired. What do you mean?

You shouldn't be leaving the fucking sound on when you should be turning the sound off. Oh no, the way it worked, no see. Oh, he does it. The way, no, well yeah he can. Okay. Absolutely he can. But the way it works on MLB TV is because it's a package you

buy on DirecTV, they don't air the commercials that they pay for. All throughout the break, you just hear the announcer. He's an idiot. He's a fucking moron. He spells it. His name's Tom, and he spells it T-H-O-M. Tom?

Hi, I'm Thaum and I genuinely don't like San Francisco and Christopher Street in New York City. I'm Thaum. You'll never catch me in the village. I'm Thaum. Have you heard of Pride Week? I'm Thaum. I hate it.

I hibernate from May 31st to July 1st. I'm Thaum. I've never seen a man. I only look at women and when a man talks to me, I close my eyes and I listen. Dude, why would he even say that? That's not even a thing to say, dude. I would never go to a rave. I'm Tom. What? Gay shit happens at a rave.

I would absolutely never take Molly E. or anything of that nature, because that leads to homosexual activities. I'm Tom. Hey, I'm Thomas. Thomas? Ha ha ha ha ha! Hey, I'm Thomas. Thomas? I've never, ever eaten something that a man has cooked. I'm Tom.

Only, I've never seen a man, I've never been in or seen a man with my own eyes in my kitchen. I broadcast baseball games play by play and I need to go off what the radio announcer says because I don't look at the players playing the game Yeah, I'm Tom Baseball Announcing is actually the hardest job. I could have possibly done because I've never seen a man I've only looked at women. Hello. I'm Thomas. So I do it blindfolded and I still did it good. Anyway, I will only be in Saudi Arabia for the rest of my life.

Behead me if I think of a man. Let's do another one before the show closes. Quick question from an upside down head. If a bicycling community comes together and builds mountain biking trails that are still open to hikers, hikers should be mindful of the bicyclists and move out of the way. I think anyway, or am I wrong on that? No. Follow up question.

Even if they didn't come together and build the trails, there's so many more. Yeah. Hiking trails. Yeah, no, you're right. Just go use those ones, right? I guess that's a question. If they're, yes. Chris, seen you in Iowa.

Made me feel so short. Oh yeah. Matt, you're pretty cool too. Cool. Yeah. Ah, if there's trails that don't allow bikes, do those. Wait, hold on dude. Okay.

How's the signage? If the sign says, trails for cyclists and people on bikes only, then of course you're right. But if it's just a trail, how could a hiker know bikers built it? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, but no, but no, I think, I don't know if that's the point. I think the point is if you're hiking and a bicycle is coming, fucking move for your own benefit.

I think they do. No, he's saying, well, okay, if that's not what he's saying, then okay. Was he saying, if it's for both, don't go hiking on it and just go to the hiking ones? I don't know. I think what he's saying is that hikers should just go to the ones that are for hiking only

because not all trails are for bicycling. How could you know though? Yeah, that's not true. Unless it only says, hey, this is for bicyclists, not for cyclists. Yeah, because you wouldn't know, number one. Or number two, it's outside, dude. You're going on a hike, dude. If a trail doesn't explicitly say for bikers and cyclists only, you're gonna hike that trail because you want to.

And you should be allowed to. It's a hard disagree. Yeah, but I think he might be saying what I'm responding to, which is, hey, I'm guessing he maybe spoke a little bit incorrectly because what he is saying is... Do you wanna watch it again? Put the beginning again because... Quick question from an upside down head. If a bicycling community comes together

and builds mountain biking trails that are still open to hikers, That's a little different. hikers should be mindful of the bicyclists and move out of the way. I think anyway, or am I wrong on that? Follow-up question even if they didn't come together and build the trails. There's so many more Hiking trails. Yeah All right, just go use those ones

I don't agree with the second part at all But if the biking community came together and made a trail, they need to put up signage. It's super annoying. Yeah, it's annoying. It'd be like if I fucking, you know, uh, made a field for, for baseball. And I'm like, all right, let me call my baseball friends. And then one day I go there and people are using it for karaoke. Yeah.

And I go, what the fuck? And they're just out there. Uptown girl. She's been living in her uptown world. And I'm like sitting there with my bat and my ball in my mitts and, and eight other guys, what the fuck she has her toys. Oh, for some reason they see, he says she has her toys in that song. So loud.

Oh, it was just unbelievably obscenely loud. We're in a smaller studio than we were before. Don't do that. She has her toys. And when she walks and she, you want me to do it quiet like that? And her boys. It's not just toys.

She has her toys, he says. He says she has her toys. Yeah, I know, but he's rhyming it with her boys. I understand. She has her toys. It makes you think that she's got a dildo. Oh, sex toys? What do you think she's got? A fucking speaking spell? You don't listen to every lyric in a vacuum. Oh, I do. I break down every single lyric.

You're not just like bang bang Maxwell silver hammer Oh, that's fucking gay as shit. You just wait for the rest of it. Well Okay, she has her toys They go in her pussy and when she walks she can barely walk because it's in her Hatchet wound Because it's in her gash Todd I'm feeling so upset and although I'm so tired I think I'll have another cigarette in my penis hole. That, that

was the lowest point of our show. Of any episode. So thank you for that. It was pretty bad. Yeah, put up signs, dude. What? Put up signs. Oh yeah, no, dude, put up signs. And dude, don't, here's the biking community.

Don't expect people to know. Yeah, you're already kind of annoyed. The rules that you know about how it works with bikers and cars and pedestrians Fucking suck me off. I hate when I do that critical mass thing when they're like we're 2500 bikers we're gonna go take over an entire city like Denver downtown Los Angeles That is annoying And just be like hey, we're fucking losers Yeah, this is the city now downtown Los Angeles and just be like, hey, we're fucking losers.

Yeah, this is the city now. There's a bunch of us all around. And you'll have to stop moving your cars because we're here now. Hey, guys, watch Netflix. Oh, so. Or go to a movie or go to a park or like. Go to a baseball field and play baseball.

Look at each other in the face and speak. Yeah, but there's a, I kind of like cyclists, dude. But not when they do that thing. But they're annoying like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Go, go, go, go somewhere else. Don't, don't, don't be in the middle of the fucking, where I'm going to get a bagel. Yeah.

Don't purposely ruin people's lives. Hey, I'm trying to go to fucking Western bagel, dude. Hey, come here, pull over. Come here, come here, come here. I'm trying to go to fucking Western Bagel, dude. Hey, come here, pull over, come here, come here, come here. You're wearing too much baby blue. And leather. I, no, he's talking about cyclists. Yeah, he is, yeah, you're right. You're wearing too much baby blue.

Yellow. And it's bad for you. I'm trying to go to Western Bagel, and you're really fucking up this thing, okay? Because there's just too many for you. I'm trying to go to Western Bagel and you're really fucking up this thing, okay? Because there's just too many of you. Go either up Mulholland or fucking Angeles Crest. I'm pissed and I wanna go in there

and I wanna get fucking an egg bacon sandwich. Thank you very much. Enjoy your ride. Actually, let me get your bike real quick. Okay, keep going Bikes mind now You're on there. Yeah, let me get On the bike in the best from bagel your cheese on it. Yeah Dude

Yeah, but my analogy was good with the baseball field in the karaoke because unless you say only Only baseball here. I guess you would know you wouldn't have to say that for a baseball field. No. Yeah. It's a baseball field. But you can, well, so you think that if you have a baseball field and there's a family out there having a picnic on it and a baseball team shows up, even if it's makeshift, they're like,

you gotta get off now because you wanna play baseball, go find a new picnic somewhere else. Oh, I don't think that's interesting though, huh? You gotta get off, they're like, we're gonna play baseball. It's advisable that you move so balls don't hit you, you're eight-year-old in the head. You like concussions?

Yeah. Oh, just missed ya. Hope you enjoy your tuna sandwich. Yeah, exactly, yeah. It's like you don't have to move, but it's dangerous. So move 30 yards that way. Right, right, right, right, right. Okay, all right, cool, we did it.

Well, we got it, all right, great. Indianapolis. Lost? You're mine. I'll be in Indianapolis, I'll be in Miami, I'll be in Huntsville, I'll be in, what'd I say, Irvine. Go to chrisley.com, Houston, I'll be there. Wanna be in the community, wanna have fun,

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It's the bit. It's the Zit worst rapper It's not this is the lid. It's the fucking Wait and it's you know what it's all about, you know patreon.com slash Matt D'Alia disgraceful what you said enjoy it. Oh fuck. I didn't mean to do that enjoy Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right people ready. I love you