Lifeline - 170. Katheryn Bigelow: Male Gigolo

Episode Date: July 20, 2025

LIFELINE ✨LUXURY✨ is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/lifelineluxury⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Extra episodes every month, no advice, all for $5. Our Patreon is also the exclusive home to all the live podcasts which we film and upload! 🤳 Want to submit to Lifeline? Go here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠forms.gle/EYbqjvyy1A9r728Y9⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🎧 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠apple.co/3NG2G2G⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🔊 Subscribe on Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠spoti.fi/3NPUwoT⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🔗 All our links: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠linktr.ee/watchlifeline⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Today we're talking about Natalie Wood and dating your friends crush. 💚 Lifeline is the first podcast about you, hosted by Matt D'Elia & Chris D'Elia. More LIFELINE: Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠instagram.com/watchlifeline⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Tiktok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠tiktok.com/@watchlifeline⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ More Matt D'Elia: Sign up FOR FREE For Matt's Patreon for all episodes of The Private Record and upcoming drops of Matt D'Elia is Confused Book 20 or 40 min one-on-one sessions with Matt at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mattdelia.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. More Chris D'Elia: Congratulations podcast: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠congratulationspod.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Live on tour: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠chrisdelia.com/tour⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Get to Toronto's main venues like Budweiser Stage and the new Rogers Stadium with Go Transit. Thanks to Go Transit's special online e-ticket fairs, a $10 one-day weekend pass offers unlimited travel on any weekend day or holiday anywhere along the Go network. And the weekday group passes offer the same weekday travel flexibility across the network, starting at $30 for two people and up to $60 for a group of five. Buy your online GoPass ahead of the show at GoTransit.com slash tickets. Hey! Hey, what's up, dude? It is episode 170 of Lifeline, and it is July 20th. Happy birthday to Pop Smoke RIP, Chris Cornell RIP, and Natalie Wood RIP.

She's sad. Chris Cornell RIP and Natalie Wood RIP. Is he sad? Chris Cornell had such a good voice that when he would sing, I couldn't even believe it. Oh, is it, I mean, the worst music critic. And it's so sad. Is it Black Hole Sun? Yeah, I was so sad when he killed himself. You were? Yeah.

Wait, did he actually? He killed himself. Okay, well don't say it too early in a non Epstein way, right? Right. He there's no disputing that he did it Natalie would on the other hand, there's a whole Conspiracy theory about that people think Christopher walking killed there people think Robert. Hi, you're gonna die You know about all that right? No, nothing Natalie would was married to Robert Wagner and Christopher Walken and

the two of them went out on a boat late at night, got wasted. I do know about this, yeah. Apparently there was a big bump or something happened. They were fighting and Natalie Wood went into the ocean and everybody thinks that Robert Wagner and or Christopher Walken were got into a fight with her physically and knocked her accidentally. that Robert Wagner and or Christopher Walken got into a fight with her physically and knocked her accidentally. Gonna have to toy you overboard.

Oh no, what do we do? Let's just say she did it. So they just pretended that, you know, they, she fell off the boat. There's no cameras, it's the 80s. What was it? I think it was. 1981.

At least the 80s. It was 1981, so don't worry, the internet isn't something yet. Natasha Gregson Walker, or Walker is the last, is her, Wagner, sorry, because it's Wagner's daughter. What are you saying? Natasha Gregson Wagner is her daughter with Robert Wagner.

See, Natasha Gregson Wagner is her daughter with Robert Wagner. See Natasha Gregson Wagner and children right there. Yeah. She was an actress too. She was really hot and it's a shame she wasn't good enough because she just wasn't that good. But she's in a lot of click on it. You see a lot is going to grow up to be an actor. Click on like click and then put nineties in there. She's not going to be hot enough. You definitely recommend. The talent to be hot enough. You definitely recommend. The talent though.

Alright, you know. I mean, you're yelling. Well, again. Uh alright. Well, we don't need to. We're going to go below that with the short hair right below that. That next one. Not left to it. Left, left. Yep. There you go. That's her. I

don't know any of this. I don't know. You're stupid. What this is. You're stupid. You're stupid. I'm not, okay? You're a stupid guy. Where are you going on tour? Yeah, dude, I'm going to Huntsville, Alabama. And I added a show in Los Angeles, Miami, Florida, Houston, Texas, Salt Lake City, Boise, Pittsburgh, Washington, DC.

Dude, and I also put up my- Oslo? Uh-huh. Oslo, Amsterdam, Copenhagen, London, Dublin. We're going Dublin, we're going Dublin, we're going Dublin. Bublin in Dublin, can't deny me. Wadadada. You know that part?

What is it? I don't know. Yeah, so, chrisley.com, go get tickets. London's going fast, Hamilton, Ontario. All right, so that's great. Also, with this is lifeline luxury lifeline. So sign up for lifeline luxury. That's our patreon patreon.com slash lifeline luxury, you get extra episodes, there's 60 plus

episodes, there's two live episodes. And if you do that, this show lasts longer, because you are helping us and we preach and how about how success successful this new studio is? It's a beautiful new studio. And don't forget to subscribe to this channel on YouTube. It really helps. Also, hey, don't forget about your boy. I got my own new Patreon going on.

We finally took off, blasted off, getting to Mars quicker than Elon Musk. Patreon.com, Matt D'Elia. Matt D'Elia is confused 2.0 but it's live it is twice a week I often do it more than twice a week because I love it I'm bad about it I'm pimping pimping I'm booyah booyah and booyah and guess what there's all these crazy tears you can be a part of the show if you want you can be part of the writers room you can be a field reporter it is a group gang

community effort get up in there and if you're a cheap azoid freak azoid, you can even get in there for free. Yeah, I said it I said it I said it not impressed. I just said that said it that's okay I said it out loud and there's nothing else to it. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good and you get the merch Look, I'm wearing it right now lifeline merch support the show lifeline merch comm It is frigging summer. And I realized that I didn't do the, I was, you know, every summer I, no, not even every summer, every like, you know, I guess January I start thinking,

I'll get a summer body. And then I just go, ah. And I start to work out and then I get sick and I stop and I'm like You're looking good. I mean you look at all right. Thank you. I I I Was working out very hard and then I got sick and then I stopped and now it's been about four weeks since I haven't now I have to get back into it and I will was this kind of what does this remind you of? Yeah, Superman flying. That's me at the gym. Yeah. Oh, is that you at the gym? Yeah. Oh,

okay. I bust on standing up doing that. I'm buff. I do it wherever. Well, no, you got to lay down to get to get the muscles going. Lay down and get the muscles going. Nobody's ever said that. So yeah, I have a you see this here. Look, can you see this even? The tattoo? No. Oh, yeah, I see that. What about it? The bruise? Yeah, I see. I turned around too quickly in the shower. What hit what hit you? My My heavy bellend. The head of the midget that was in there with you?

The nose of the midget? Mm-mm. My penis, because it's so heavy and long, in the middle of my leg, it strawberryed my mid leg up. I have a- Wouldn't happen to you guys. Really big bruise on the tip of my penis, because I was in the shower and I was just kind of like, I was in a rush, I was washing my body and

I accidentally put my foot down and I stepped right on my bell end and it hurt really bad. No, that's where it was going. Yeah. No, no, no. But I have to shower like this. No. Yep. Like I've been working on the railroad. Each note is the same, you're bad at singing. All the big cock day. You know what I'm saying? No. Okay. Every note you've ever sung has been the same note.

Really? What'd you say again? I've been working on the railroad. That's you. You know what's funny is that- Sure, I'm a stand up comedian, professional. Now that I got hundreds and hundreds of members of my Patreon, they all like the way I sing.

So I A. Don't care what you say. Sims. B. Love what they say. C. Agree with them because they outnumber you by a lot. And D. Frankly, you're jealous because you're my brother and that's how rivalries go. So drunk. Sims, dude. Whatever.

I have, I, it's, I, you know, what, dude? What do you want from me? I don't want anything from you. All right, well I'm fucking, I'm cold in here. It's fucking cold. No, it's so good in here. Dude, remember the old studio? It was so hot always.

I couldn't wear a short sleeve shirt now. Look at me. I'm wearing my yellow short sleeves. I got my light green hat on that people think says lifeline even though if you look at the hat it says lifetime dude sup with mine I've had neck pain for the past three days and it's just on Batman I'm like yeah so bad three days what happened like what started I don't just don't know woke Not even, just in the middle of the day. I'm like what the, you know?

Yeah, that's me on my knees now, dude. I'm just, I just can't get up if I'm crouched. I gotta start working out. Working out helps so much, dude. And I've been slacking for a month. Don't care. Right, well, what do you care about? No, I mean, I do care about that.

You're in pain, that sucks. No, no, no, no, but I'm saying about the working out. Oh, no, that I don't care about at all, yeah. I got the game Resident Evil, so there's no telling what could happen now. Which one? Four, dork, dork alert, dude. Couldn't help himself.

Which one? Didn't even- That's my favorite one. Oh, yeah, dude. That's everyone's't even. That's my favorite one. Yeah, dude. That's everyone's favorite one. That's why I got it. You're a dork too. You know.

No, I asked chat GPT what's the best. You're a bigger dork. Dude. You asked chat GPT you're the bigger dork than the guy who already knows. I got the remake of it, which is two, which was recently. What do you mean remake? Re-release?

No, they remade it. They made it in 2004 or whatever it was and that revolutionized over-the-shoulder camera horror games. Over-the-shoulder boulder holders you know what I'm talking about? And now they remade it and everyone's like well they're gonna mess it up and they didn't. They improved the gameplay and they they made it sharper and they kept the soul of the original. So what? And I'm not a dork. They remake video games? Yes, dude. They don't they go like this.

Oh, we could just remake them. And why wouldn't they? And they do that and they sell it and they make, dude, they make hundreds of millions of dollars. Not close. People act like movies are still a thing, dude. Shut up. Well, you know, movies are a niche thing for a niche group of people who still like things like that. Movie games, buh buh buh buh buh buh below them out of the water.

Movie games. Streamers, buh buh buh buh buh buh buh below them out of the water. Movie games are the best for playing. Just for an exchange student. I love movie games. That's what you said, movie games. I did? Oh yeah, dude. I meant for an exchange student. I love movie games. That's what you said, movie games. I did?

Oh yeah, dude. I meant video games, yeah. Oh, I know. Okay, well everybody else knows too. But, so yeah. Yeah, no video games are, they're, yeah. It's just nuts. When you look at the big games,

what they do on the first day of business, they're just like, oh, you made more than any movies ever made. Yeah, for sure. Jim Cameron just sees when he sees the gross tickets. He goes, God of War, really? Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Son of a bitch looking at watching Titanic on Laserdisc. Did how? Son of a bitch, dude. How messed up was the marriage between James Cameron and Catherine Bigelow? You know about this, right? Catherine Bigelow, Mel Gigolo? Catherine Bigelow, the director of Point Break and The Hurt Locker and

a lot of other shit. And the Mel Gigolo? No. Did she do Bruce Bigelow? There is no such thing, but also no. What is that, Deuce Bigelow? Deuce Bigelow. Bruce Bigelow, wow.

Did she direct Deuce Bigelow? No. Okay. She directed a bunch of serious big Hollywood movies like even K-19 Widowmaker which ruined her career but she used to do big big action movies. Harrison Ford. And then she had to do with a Russian accent which is wild. So bad. So bad. Liam Neeson as well. Russian accent. And just so bad so bad the emisen as well and Russian accent and just so bad and so far the what the hell it put her in director jail she had to make a small movie she made the Hurt Locker for like 10 million dollars right right right it blew up it won best picture and guess who she was up against that year for best picture. Avatar, James Cameron, she won and she didn't even do this to him.

Oh, she did it. I have no idea how she had. Thank you to the Academy. Thank you everyone. Thank you so much. James, where are you? Fucking widow maker. I didn't care who won that year. I just liked the fact that she made a small movie and won and beat her

shit head exiles. Also that's what ignited Jeremy Renner's career. Remember Top of the World, when he did that? Oh my god. That's one of the most embarrassing... It's so embarrassing, but it's 20,000 leagues less embarrassing than Will Smith's slap, because that's how bad Will Smith's slap was. Well, the whole thing about Will Smith is just... People don't think about the Will Smith slap enough. It's the most bitch-ass thing anyone's ever done on live TV.

There's no arguing with that he is a bitch he has a new video out new video out it is bitch everything you post everything you post on on Instagram it is bitch he does live performances in London no one even moves their feet it is bitch bitch. He's 56. It is bitch He cried on air when his wife bragged about cheating on him with their son's friend. It is bitch Could he be a bigger bitch dude shit could he be a bigger bitch? It's not possible dude dude, it's it's unfair to make somebody

famous for 50 years and expect them to act any sort of normal. It's just, it's unfair. Fair but how many people have been made fun of and then walked on the Oscar stage and slapped the person in the middle? You're right, I know that, I know, I get that, I get it. But like, you know, people give like Justin Bieber a hard time, people give, it's like dude. What do you mean? Well, they're just like, oh, what's Justin Bieber? What's he doing on Instagram or something?

And it's like, because he's just being silly and it's like, dude, you made a person when since they were four. People, well yeah, I mean, that made a person, so gossipy they're so fucking yeah anyway I'm a motherfucking man and any time I walk down the street people crane their necks and run after me it's difficult it's why I'm in shape because I have to run so fast you're in our shape so okay let's go let's do the first one here here we go guys let's get into it hey Chris hey Mac I Mac. I watched your podcast.

Stop crying. So I'm gonna make this as kind of concise and short as possible so my friend is always texting me asking me about this talk about his Instagram crush. A girl that he's never met before that he just is always talking about. I have such a big crush on her. My Instagram crush, my Instagram crush. I'm 23 by the way, he's 23, and I'm always telling him to DM her, message her, message her, and he never wants to do it. He always just gives excuses, I don't know what to say, I've tried to help him out.

That's gonna be a different shot. No, I don't know what to say. So one night, he's texting me about it, randomly, drunk at 3 a.m., texting me, texting me. And I was finally to say, dude, if you don't do it, I'm going to do it, I'm gonna start talking to her. It's gonna cut again It's has to do this like a ray J thing. It's just like the radio thing

Go back make it make it just go back faster is what we there we go Uh-huh. Okay, that was really here. What happened here me and I was finally just like dude if you don't DM her I'm going to DM her and I'm gonna start start talking to her because it's been three months of just nonstop, nonstop complaining, complaining, complaining, talking about her, talking about her. What is there to lose? You've never met her. And so I DM her and I was like, my boy thinks you're cute. He just kept complaining. I kept seeing the complaints coming in real time as I was DMing her. So I got pissed off. Why is his mustache so scared of his nose? It's running away. His mustache is desperately trying to get to his shoulders.

It is so weird, dude. That looks like he took a bandaid off of his mouth and that's the residue. He looks like Juan Soto is what he looks like. Anyway, whatever. If I center, mine's even profile. She said, oh, damn, that was smooth. And fast forward profile. She said oh that damn that was smooth and Fast forward a bit fast forward a bit. We're dating now. No, I feel the piece of shit. I am a piece of shit

What do I do any advice is how much needed? And I fucked up Bro, you're such an asshole. Yeah, that's an asshole move. What a fucking dick. Let me just rephrase what you said Yeah, Your friend had an Instagram crush. Your friend had an Instagram crush. Your friend had an Instagram crush, just turning my hat around. Then this, then you came along and were like stop being a bitch, just DM her. Then you finally did on his behalf? No, no, no, no. He said or I'm gonna message her and that is not clear that he did it for him. Oh. Maybe he did. No, no, no. He said, or I'm gonna message her. And that is not clear that he did it for him.

Oh. Maybe he did. No, no, no, he said. He did. You guys were busy making fun of his hat. Yeah, yeah. But he said he started by saying, my friend thinks you're cute.

Got it. Yeah. And she thought that that was some sort of weird way that he was hitting on you. Yeah, I mean, I understand that. Sure. Okay, so he was initially going after her. Ladies be suspicious. For her friend, for was here. Yeah, I mean I understand that sure okay, so he was initially suspicious for her friend for his friend yeah, but she thought it was like a smooth way to talk to her right Then he starts

They didn't just go from that to like dating he they had to have a big back-and-forth and then decide to get together Despite the initial reason he reached out dude You're a fucking dickhead. Well, what he did was what an asshole does. Yeah, so that makes him an asshole. Yeah, sure. I mean, maybe, he might be a good guy, I have no idea, but what you did was what an asshole does.

I don't know the guy, so I'm not gonna be like, you're a fucking asshole. You know what I'm saying? Sure, sure. But yes, that is a... Geez, it's easy kind of not that big of a leap like yikes would you trust that guy um yeah that guy's no threat to me baby but you know what I mean though like if you're in one of his peers if she leaves me she's doing a favor oh you want me with him go ahead would you trust if you're in his circle at all?

No. Or you heard that about him and you started hanging out with him like through other groups of people? No. You'd be like, oh, I'm not going to let him. I go like, now I know why your mustache doesn't even want to be on your face. Yeah. It's like nobody wants to be around you, not even your mustache.

Even your facial hair doesn't trust you. Yeah. I mean, I appreciate the openness and like the coming to us with, because you understand you did something wrong, which is more than most people say. So good on you for that, but like, dude, you're a dickhead. I kind of want him to be, I kind of want him to be more, to me it's, he doesn't seem like he's genuinely upset about, so I'd rather him be like, that's the game, dude. You shouldn't have like he's genuinely upset about it.

So I'd rather him be like, that's the game, dude. You shouldn't have showed me her. I got her. You fucked up. Because it's Instagram. I don't like that either. I'm not saying that's right, but it's like, do you feel bad or do you not feel bad? Be the real you.

He said he feels like an is a piece of shit, what should he do? So that is- Yeah, I just don't know if I believe him. I guess I could take his, yeah, okay. I mean, you gotta take the people's word for it. Yeah, true. Well, if you took his word, you're gonna be

fucking ass out, you know? Cause I'm gonna fucking stole your girl. But honestly, dude, I don't feel threatened by him not with my wife I just uh I just my wife completely loves me she's so we get into stupid little tips but it doesn't matter shut up you know she last night I go like this, I'm losing my fucking mind. And she says, Jesus Christ. And it just wasn't what I wanted.

I wanted her to be like, are you OK? And then I fucking went, you know, what? I can't say that by myself, to myself? Turned into a whole fucking thing. But it's fine. But it's just like, That guy's not a threat. good financial habits. Earn points for paying your credit card bill in full and on time every month. Level up from bill payer to reward slayer. Terms and conditions apply. Got your favorite song in the queue, but not your next binge-worthy series? All of your

Hulu Originals favorites are available on Disney Plus in Canada. That means you can tune in to hit shows like Paradise, Deli Boys, and King of the Hills Season 14 coming this summer. All available to Disney Plus subscribers. Visit DisneyPlus.com to sign up and stream now. for every mood. So choose from a variety of fruity flavors in sparkling, frozen or lemonade. Order yours on the Tim's app today at participating restaurants in Canada for a limited time. Okay. To me. Okay, well anyway, now that we've brought it back to you fully, you are dick. And I think that you,

I don't know if you've done this or not yet, but you need to tell your friend. Dude, he was obsessing over this girl for months and freaking out about how he was gonna message her. Then you were like, oh, let me handle it for you. Yeah, that's dick. And then you're suddenly bangering in her like with your hat sideways and then front ways and then sideways and then backwards again.

Like you are a bad guy and you need to think about that. I don't mean a villain. No, I know. I just mean you did a bad guy thing. And that's not cool. It's not cool. Yeah, so know that and tell him and apologize and stop seeing that girl, dude. What's gonna happen, which is what sucks, is that you're gonna go to your friend

and your friend's gonna be like, oh no, it's all good, man. And it's not gonna be all good. And you're gonna want it to be all good, so you're gonna pretend it's all good. And then something really blow up He is gonna happen. Yes, dude. And so true. I know life. I'm older than you you are young and know nothing. Okay well, I fucking Amateur at life who knows nothing in the audience about how to fucking operate in life. Take it from me

You did wrong get ahead of it Admit it get all the cards out on the table and just tell everybody what's going on. And let everybody say what they have to say. And wherever the cards fall, maybe you have to leave her. No, I'm not. Maybe you have to leave her because shit got so fucked up. Maybe people are actually okay with it. Maybe she's like, this is weird now. got so fucked up right maybe people are actually okay with it maybe she's like this is weird now fuck her just such it out anything wrong no but fuck her if she's like that no she did not do anything but yeah just just get it out there don't do it do not keep this shit a secret. You are the biggest piece of dog shit

if you just keep this a secret. Really harsh, yeah. You're a human piece of dog shit. Really harsh. That my dog shit out of her butt. Too specific honestly. And it was a big nasty like too discreet. Like too mucusy shit that I had to kind of

use my whole hand in the bag to pick up and fit in and it's like I tie off the bag and it's inside that is you. Faulkner if he had a different life, different upbringing. All right. Yeah, we're good. All right. Seem like an all right guy though. So I think you're gonna do the right thing.

Took it all back. All right. Next one. I think you're gonna do the right thing. Hey, so look, here's the problem. You feel lost or stuck in your life, your career. Hey, check out Apt. The solution is Apt.

It's your 24-7 AI mentor to help you figure it out. I've been doing this. It starts with a 10-minute quiz that gives you really like deep personality breakdowns and a list of career paths that are perfect for you. Now I know I'm a comedian, but I still use this to try and like see what else there is out there personally and for my career and any kind of struggles I have.

And this has daily insights for that and tools to get you there. It's really, really powerful. It's trained on 1.8 trillion data points. So try to even wrap your head around that. 1.8 trillion data points. So try to even wrap your head around that 1.8 trillion data points. That is really something. It's very specific for it and very good and it has already helped over 500,000 people. Go to tryapt.ai slash lifeline, take the quiz and use the code lifeline for 50% off. That's a lot.

Try apps dot AI slash lifeline. Take the quiz and use the code lifeline for, that's right, 50% off. It's a huge deal. Go try it. It's really awesome. What's up, guys? Longtime baby here. I want to get to the point because I really need your advice.

Great. I'm in a long-term relationship. I feel like you already know where this is going. We started out really nice and sexually active like three years ago and now three years later we live together and things are not so spicy in the bedroom anymore and I feel like I don't think I'm ever going to get that back with this man. Like I really do love him and we have such a beautiful stable life together but like the passion's not there. And I just wonder like how important is the passion? How important is sex?

Because I mean right now I'm 31 and I know for sure I have a lot of sexually active years to go. But I know for sure sex isn't gonna last forever. And if you find the person that you're friends with, you know, you need that friendship to last longer than anything anyway because the sparks will fade But also I'm only 31 so do I follow my libido or do I care about the stability and security that I'm gonna need in? Like 30 years that's me one of those instances where like I chose the nice guy and everything on paper is right

But like you know what is wrong with women Right like we just need somebody to like give us like a little bit of a chase right or maybe is that just me I don't know should I not chase that I should not put myself out there I know the dating world is abysmal right now and that scares me so much but I also don't want to be in a relationship and just settle yeah because I still feel like I'm young. But what do y'all think? I live in LA, so 31's not young. What do I do? It's tough. Did you ever have that passion?

Because if you ever had it, I understand, but I'm actually really asking her to search herself. She said yes. I understand, but are you lying to yourself? She said yes. She said she's not lying to herself. She didn't actually say she's not lying to herself. She said yes. No, she said she's not lying to herself. She said she actually say she's not lying to her. She said she had the passion. What I'm saying is, does she truly believe that because if she truly believes it, then you can get it back. If you it sounds

that I agree with. It sounds to me that she might have gone with a guy that all the boxes are checked. Does that make you want to go gone with a guy? What the boxes are checked. Wait, wait, wait. Does that make you wanna go? Gone with a guy? No, it doesn't. What does that mean, gone with a guy? Gone with a guy where all the boxes are checked. Rather than-

Behind his back? What? I don't know what you're saying. Like, oh yeah, checklist. He's got it all. But that's not making, that doesn't make a woman wanna go. It doesn't. And you're like, you have like a thing in your throat?

No, well, yeah, not me, not gay. But- She has a dick in her throat. Yeah, well, she doesn't if she's- Detective. Figured that shit out, okay. I mean, you know, there's really only a few reasons why you'd go, but

I got on the second try. So, um, my point is, yeah, you, you, you, you, you, sex is one of the most important things. Okay. You know, you have to get along and, and that's a tough combo because, you know, you don't really wanna fuck the person you get along with. You know what I mean? And that's just human, but it's okay. Sex before you have it is maintenance. Sex while you're having it is jump and jive, jump and jump and jump and jive.

You know what I'm saying? Once you're sliding in and the wetness hits and the hard penis goes whoop, whoop, bigger, who whoop whoop bigger whoop whoop bigger whoop bigger and even bigger you're going you're going it doesn't matter what's going on it's feeling nice it's feeling nice it's feeling great it's feeling great the problem is beforehand getting to that point of just like I guess almost having sex when you've been with someone for a long time, but once you're doing it It's fucking mambo time. Mm-hmm. That's just what it comes down to. It's like riding a bike dude, right hop on baby That's wetter. Hopefully

It is when I do it You know I'm saying no like yeah, I, to spice it up doesn't take as much as you might think it does. Yeah, right, okay, sure, yeah. But also she's a woman and that's, it's different. No, actually, it's not, here you go. It's different for a woman. Like a woman, a guy can do the smooth sailing thing

and a woman has a little bit tougher of a time mentally doing that if she's not into it. Say that again. A guy could be like having a bunch of stuff is wrong in the day and you still do it and you can still get into it. A woman has a harder time doing that I would say generally.

Generally probably, yeah. So I'm saying that what you're saying is true for guys more than women yeah but there are a lot of days in the year and there will be moments when your libido will be activated by the simple motions of going through what you do okay when it's often automatically activated. That sounds like such robot speak, but all it means is once you go through the motions of the kissing and the head touching

and the rear squeezing and the fucking. Rear squeezing. And the bean flicking and all that, you know. Erotic fucking? Remember when 2Pac was just like, erotic fucking? Dude, erotic. Chris Farley's show, Chris Farley's show. Ha ha ha, erotic fucking is so funny, dude.

I don't remember that, he said that. Erotic fucking. What song? Don't remember. Oh, okay, Bad Fan. Oh, oh, oh, oh, I can't say it, it's got the N word in it. Oh yeah, you can't say that, don't say that.

Anyway, yeah, but I mean it sounds like you you got a foot out the door honestly if you're asking which is why I'm asking did you ever have the thing because the thing being the passion the passion of the Christ look we do this a lot we run this a lot we says I said the same thing you said in it we have to take what people say at their word. I think that makes it for a less interesting podcast, but okay. I don't agree because it makes it way more conjecture based. Okay, yeah, yeah.

But what does a comedy podcast though? You know what I mean? Sure. If it's like a funny lead up to a joke, it's different. I'm just saying. Yeah, you know, I understand. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Do you want to be with a guy that you makes you want to go from the beginning I think she she did I think though that she had you lost I don't remember exactly what she said But she said something about it was like too easy with him like getting him that that is The nice guy it'll soon be revealed to be a myth. Yeah, but you're only 31 you mentioned that a couple times There's no only before that 31 is yeah normal age true So like next thing you know, you'll be 36 Well the next thing you know, you'll be 32, but then it will get 36 in four years

You know what? I mean, and so like, you know Time fly even though every day is slow time has a way of slipping by and you're just like, what happened? And you want to make sure that you didn't waste that time. If this is not the guy for you, then you got to get on out. And if there's guys out there in the world that are making you feel like you want to get on in, you try to give those a shot, but make sure you end the one that you're currently in. Yeah, sure. You're like a hot girl. You're not gonna have a hard time finding a guy. Any girl can find any guy, really. I'm not any guy.

I almost think if the circumstances were right, any woman could get any man. I almost think that, but I don't, but I almost think that. So like you think Rosie O'Donnell would go for like Chris O'Donnell? Just to stick with the O'Donnell family? Do I think that it could, do I think that that could happen? Yeah. Yeah. No, Chris would go for her though, isn't it?

I think actually that's a bad example because I think Chris O'Donnell would probably be like, sure. All right. Oh, well, I was in Batman and Robin. Pick a different guy because Rosie O'Donnell, Brad Pitt, big fat shaped head woman. Okay. What they date? If the circumstances were right. Yeah, like Rosie O'Donnell was a different looking person. Yeah, absolutely. No, I don't know. You know what I'm saying? I'm just saying. Yeah, like Rosalind was a different looking person. Yeah, absolutely. No, I don't know. You know what I'm saying? I'm just saying. Yeah, I guess so. It sounds like you got a foot out the door. I don't wanna read too much into it, but if you don't, then try to fucking reignite the flame.

Get it going. Go through the motions, even if you have to. Even if you have to literally go through the motions and you don't want to. Your memory sets in and it's like, oh yeah Even if you have to. Even if you have to literally go through the motions that you don't want to. Your memory sets in and it's like, oh yeah, I like this shit. This shit is like what we signed up for in the beginning. And next thing you know, it's ee-oo, ee-oo, ee-oo

to the break of dawn, baby, we got it going on, word. Come on, girl, work it, yeah. You know what I'm saying? No. Okay, well, I think you have a sense of an idea of what I'm saying. Next one. Chris, man, love the podcast.

I'd like to play a game. Metalase, Diffuse, everything, all that. I have a long story. It is so good. I need some strong advice. I've had heated debates on both sides, and I just need to know what's the right thing to do. So please lock in for this,

because I know both of you like to phase out and then are just totally fucking confused by the end of the submission so here we go I'm gonna try to keep it concise. About ten years ago my buddy and his girlfriend ended up breaking up because he was going away for college and she subsequently started sleeping with the entire friend group. He comes back for the winter break of the freshman year. They start hooking up again, as exes do, and a few months later, she's pregnant. He has no idea about her sleeping around. He was devastated by the breakup.

He comes back after college to obviously take care of her, take care of the baby, and she continues to essentially cheat on him even though they're kind of just together for the kid. And they end up getting married, and they have a couple extra kids since then, I think three in total, and I've had girlfriends that I've told this story to Because I've had thoughts that maybe that kid might not be his and he's raised this kid Who's someone else's this entire time because she was sleeping with other people around this time period What are you worried for? I was best man in his wedding. We were super close growing up and we've kind of been distant in the recent past

Do you think there's an obligation for me to say something? Because at this point, you know, that first kid is like 14 or something. So personally, I feel like that would just be shattering a family for no reason, even though I think she is a bad person and what she did was bad. And he's potentially raising someone else's kid I think maybe yeah, it's too far gone at this point But I've had you know people in my past say I've that obligation as an ex best friend really It's still a current friend to some degree to

To tell him so thanks guys. Love you I'm sad. Thank you. You're ya. I'm sad. Thank you. You're sad? I'm sad. Explain. The whole thing is sad beyond the obvious. I think, I don't, so all right, the one thing I couldn't hear was she,

when they broke up, she slept around with the whole what? Friend group. Got it, okay. Okay, so she was promiscuous. Promiscuous girl. That's beyond promiscuous. That's like. Right, yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, okay, sure, well, whatever. I guess I would say, what are the signs that it's not his?

If you're just basing the sign, you know, it might not be his because she was having sex with other people, then I say, don't say anything. But if it's like the baby's half Asian, then you know, you gotta be like, yo bro, you know what I'm saying? Do you know what I'm saying? Like if there's any other,

if the only thing you're like, is because I know that she slept with other people when they were broken up, like then that is not worth bringing it on, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if there's other stuff pointing to that direction, I don't know what it would be, but you know, I mean, I guess you go to the baby doesn't look like him,

but then that's like, opinion based. So yeah, that's not. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. Why do you think that? I would, I would, I would ask myself why I think that's, that's where I'm at. Yeah. Because you didn't give enough information in this at least to make us think, Oh yeah, maybe it isn't his. I mean, dude, people sleep around all the time. And they have families and they're all legit. I mean, there are some that aren't, but it's like, maybe he's leaving something out, but the thing that he's saying to,

he's like, I've said this to a few of my girlfriends and they're like, you have an obligation. It's like, I don't know, man. Also, he's 14 now. What do you think? I don't even know. This is like... First of all, the voice was like hard for me

to even understand. It was hard to understand, but I understood everything and I get it. You've been making each other laugh for too long. Hello, Chris and Matt, I'd like to play a game That made me laugh at the top Because it was so that yeah, look, why do they discover his voice? Who's watching that would like a not know who it was based on what he's saying and be

Not recognize his voice. You've been doing the podcast lifeline too long. Now you will see your life is on the line. A tagline. Boop, boop. And you're like, what even is the thing? What's the thing? You better hurry up. You have 30 seconds.

She fucked everybody? What is that? I mean dude like let's not gloss over that she fucked just everybody come here I'll fuck you the friend group fuck it are your friends your friends with him come here I'll fuck you the friend group is wild what is that fuck other guys what is that? Fuck other guys. What is that? That is not normal. No, it's not. Like any stretch. Women will, it comes back to a phrase that I coined and created in my early 20s. And this is so true.

There we go. And it sounds so simple. We go. But it's not simple. It is very complex. And the truth of it is so palpable that it destroys half truths around it. Okay, everybody back there sitting down. This is going to destroy your mind. Okay, go ahead. I want you to take what

I say and I want you to understand it please don't react okay until until you fully are immersed in the thought of it so that could be like what 12 seconds just wait I depends on how smart you are making a competition okay You said different three hours. I'm making a competition. Okay. Women sleep with men they know. Generally. There are many women who meet a guy and are just like, let me do the hanky-panky and have a blast off.

I am not saying- And then have a kid. I am not saying that they don't do that. Okay. Aha. What are you saying? Aha. What I still said is true. I believe you.

Okay. What did you say exactly? Men are around enough with women that women will sleep with the men that they know. I'm Chris Hadfield. I'm an astronaut, an author, a citizen of planet Earth. Join me for a six-part journey into the systems that power the world. Real conversations with real people who are shaping the future of energy. No politics, no empty talk, just solutions-focused conversations on the challenges we must overcome and the possibilities that lie ahead. This is On Energy.

Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Change my mind. I know a woman who works in the industry. She's actually very successful at what she does. Had an actual one night stand with someone. Yeah, that's fine. Produced a child from the one-night stand. One of the sweetest children I've ever met in my life. She's like seven maybe. And like that they didn't know each other. They met one night at a bar. Did the

That is true. That is true. Did they weld stuff? It is true that they did do that, but what I'm saying is still true. Aha! Dude, women sleep with men they know. She's also sleeping with men they know. There is no woman out there that doesn't sleep with men that they know. Yes dude! And they just they they literally it's why there's bitch dudes it's why there's dudes that are just like man you shouldn't trust that guy because he's a round dude. He's around. Who's the bitch dude in this instance? The guy that's around? The friend the friend. The ally. Yeah the fake ally. This is a real thing there are men who are allies and that's around the friend, the friend, the out the ally. Yeah, that the fake ally. This is a real thing. There are men who are allies and that's obvious. Sure. And that, but then there's like the sneaky, weaky fucking raccoon.

God, I hate those guys. Fucking ally. Who's like, it's all, they're so boasts boastful on X and like, dude, they're just in, when it comes to real life, they just would never act the way that they act onful on X and like, dude, they're just, when it comes to real life, they just would never act the way that they act on X. Are you saying Twitter? Yeah. Yeah. And it's just- Or even ecstasy.

Fucking, it's just so maddening to see men like that, dude. He's not right for you. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do. You need a better guy! You want to go to color me mine? Dude, what if you did ecstasy and you fucking had somebody just roll your dick like this? You'd shit. You'd be so nuts.

You'd shit, dude. Diarrhea, even if you didn't have it. Your whole body would just like, what would it do? You'd be, you'd do a hundred, nobody, nobody would be able to stand that. Stand it, yeah. And not be like Nicolas Cage. They'd be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ha, ha, ha, dude, and I will tell you this much.

Ecstasy, dude, drugs are crazy crazy and let me tell you why, okay? Because you can do them and not be wanting to do them and then in an hour, you're fucking so happy you did them, dude. That's crazy! Yeah, yeah, that's, to be like this, dude, should I take this acid? Should I take this acid?

I don't know. And then in an hour, you're just like, I'm fucking orange juice and I'm chilling. Yeah. That's so sick. And that's scary, dude. Yeah, you've never done drugs in your life though, huh? Nope.

You guys do drugs, Anthony and Chris? Just weed. Weed? That's it? Yeah, just weed and meth. Just weed and I guess alcohol, you know. That's a drug. I do alcohol. Do you do alcohol? I do alcohol, you know, that's a drug. I do alcohol.

Do you do alcohol? I do alcohol. Alcohol is a fucking drug, dude. I just do, I don't, you know what, not to get too sad, but I don't understand why alcohol is like one of the most accepted, you could have commercials for it during a sports game, kids are watching, Corona, fucking Bud Light,

everything, and then like any other drug is like, you can advertise towards kids. You can have advertisements within 20 miles of a school. It's just like, which is nowhere. It's just like, dude, what, with cigarettes? But like, but alcohol is just everywhere? What the fuck? It's weird, yeah. It's just entrenched businesses.

It's grandfathered in, yeah. If you created alcohol now. It's just crazy, it wouldn't even be legal. No, no, no, no, no way. If you made alcohol now, it would not be legal. No way, dude. Fuck. So weird.

I've seen people do shit on alcohol that is way worse than I've seen people do on other drugs. Yeah, well because, yeah, it just, weed doesn't make you do that. You go to sleep, you chill, you eat fucking Funyuns. Alcohol, you get in your car and you crash into children. I've never seen somebody on smoking weed that is like, not like the most cautious driver in the world. You could toke fucking fucking literally toke fucking purple You could choke chocolate tie you could choke fucking

Purple Granddaddy perp granddaddy purple you could you could toke the purple haze you can you know I mean like you you can you indo indo You know what I mean? Like, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you,

you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you,

you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, rot, you literally get a new car. Look for children and run them over. You know what's the craziest thing about drunk driving? One natty ice. Is the idea. Where the kids go go go go go go go go go. The craziest thing about fucking.

Did you guys ever see that clip of Joe Rogan calling out Steven Crowder about the deaths in Colorado? No. About weed and alcohol? No. The Aurora shootings? Steven Crowder's, no, Steven Crowder's claiming that deaths in Colorado related to marijuana have shot up 50% since it was legal and Joe Rogan is just

like, no, it's not. No, that is not true. And then I look it up and it's literally the exact opposite. It's since it was legalized, traffic incidents and accidents have gone down by 50%. It's just like, I don't know, people just say whatever. People say whatever the fuck. And usually people aren't there to fact check you in real time. But in a weird way, Rogan is because of Jamie. It's kind of weird.

But yeah. Anyway, I don't know why the fuck I said that. But yeah. Oh yeah, weed won't. I'm not recommending it to smoke weed and drive, but like, you're not gonna fucking get in a wreck, dude. Well don't do it in drugs and drive. You drive at 18 miles per hour

because you're high and scared. You'll at best bump into a nine year old and it'll be okay because it'll be like, what the heck? But bump in. One sip, dude. A sip of Foster's. One sip, you're in the outback, running children over. Australian for beer.

Yep, Foster, Australian for beer. God, that was such an effective ad campaign. Yeah. We all know it. Yeah. We all know it. Fasters, Australian for beer. What the fuck were we talking about with the last,

I don't even remember that. I don't even remember. The girl fucked everybody that he was friends with. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, My fucking girlfriend fucked every guy I've ever known, including my dad and three younger brothers. And like, but I still love her. It's like, I get it. You still love her, but like, stop. Yeah. Get a different person because it's possible.

Yeah. The other way around too, women do the same fucking shit. Yeah. Just like, come on. Yeah. Smoking in dough, sipping on gin and juice. Every note's the same fucking shit. Yeah, so come on. Yeah Smoking in dough sipping on gin and juice every notes the same lay back Every note is the exact with my mind on my money and my money on my mind. I'm selling Dude

Yeah, yeah All right, you want to go get another one. Here we go. Hey Chris. Hey Matt Calvin from Missouri here big fan of the shows Been listening to congrats since like 2018 and lifeline since like three days ago Oh, I've been binging the hell out of it because I'm an over-the-road trucker and I have nothing but time nice But anyways, I'll get to what is annoying me right now. I was in Taco Bell just now, and I get up there, I give them my order, and they ask me, do you spell Calvin with a C or a K? So, couldn't care less, right?

Like really. Same sound, like doesn't make a difference. At all. Okay? Okay. But I don't want to be rude So I say Calvin with a C, and I'll be damned if my receipt doesn't say Calvin with a K Fuck with all right by the way no Calvin spells no name with a K So they didn't even err on the side of the correct letter

Even though I'd already told them So I just want to know, why am I so angry about this? Actually, but I'm not actually angry. I'm moderately annoyed. But you know, like why ask? Yeah. Okay. I have a thing like that. I have a thing like that. It drives me unkin crazy, okay? I get club soda, that's mostly what I drink. If I'm at a restaurant, if I'm at a diner or something,

you know, bar, even if I'm there, I'll get a club soda. I don't drink, you know what I mean? So I don't wanna run over any children. So people often ask when you get a club soda, would you like it with the lime? Would you like it with the lemon lime? People often ask when you get a club soda, would you like it with the lime? Would you like it with the lemon lime? For some fucking reason. Dude, whoever just decided, you know what I mean?

I wanna drink, so also here have some fruit? Fuck you, dude. That's not what I want. Oh yeah, bring shoes too. I'm thirsty. I don't want a fucking lime, okay? I want it to taste the way it fucking tastes, right? So for some reason, they've added this lime into a fucking mix, right? When all I want is club soda, but now that society says you gotta have a line you gotta so you have to ask okay who's looking online every single time I say no because dude society's not gonna get me all right so I say no I'm not getting a lot no I don't want to I'm not with you

10 times out of 11 they bring a fucking line because it gets lost in that translation of, you know, whatever. And I'm like, this drives me nuts, dude. Society created something that's bullshit. And now you're asking me if I want it when society isn't gonna get me, dude. And I lay down the law, and you still act like society got me. Bring me shoes. I asked for a club soda, dude. Or when you ask for Tabasco sauce, and they go, sure. And they bring Cholula.

Bring me a suit jacket. I didn't ask for that. What the fuck? I didn't ask for this. And I'm the dick if I do that, right? And I'm the dick if I do that. If you do it like that. Hey, wait a second. What the fuck? Why didn't you bring me a Learjet?

That's not what this is either. What? Fuck, what movie is that from? Whose ass is this in my... Oh no, dude, that's so funny. That's the Phil Henry, right? Phil Henry did that, right? No, no, no, that wasn't a movie.

It was, it was, it was, they were doing a live taping of something and somebody was giving notes over the director's shoulder and the guy was like, I'm sorry, whose ass is it in this chair? Oh right, it's mine. Cause he was the director and he was like... So what director's shoulder and the guy was like, I'm sorry, whose ass is it in this chair? Oh right, it's mine. Cause he was the director and he was like,

what the heck, oh, it's my ass in the director's chair. I thought that was Phil Henry that did that in a movie. Oh, in a movie? I thought so. Anyone. We can do one more. Okay, another one. So yeah, those are the kind of things that just like,

you feel had, he got you, you know? K or C? And you're like, I don't have to answer this. C. Puts in K, you get a K? What the fuck, dude, you had me. There's something to be said here where like, and this is not, this is truly not to denigrate people

with jobs like this. But there are people out there with menial jobs, jobs like this, that are kind of just punch in, punch out, fill the drink, fill out the labels, do all that shit, keep everything moving in line, that are truly like epically stupid, right? And like that can't be discounted or dismissed as a possibility. Like you said C, the question didn't even matter, but they put in a K.

That's almost impossible to believe actually, if you think about just those steps. So to me, the likeliest solution is kind of the simplest solution. That person is a fucking idiot. Want to know what I think happened? It got lost in the chain of command. Maybe, yeah, but then who's?

Otherwise you're just so clearly, C or K? C, cool, K. Here's your coffee. Who's the person mixing it up and adding the K though? Well, if you don't know the name Calvin, which I guess is, you know, kind of weird. Which is who though? Yeah, I don't know. Nobody knows the name Calvin.

Yeah. Nobody spells cow with a K. Calvin is a name. Cowpen. Calvin is a name. He's fucking Indian, you know? Mm-hmm. Kevlar.

Could be Kevlar. Vest. There's regular cold. And then there's the mountains are blue cold. Mountain cold refreshment. Coors Light. The Chill Choice. Celebrate responsibly, must be legal drinking age.

Hey, we know you probably hit play to escape your business banking, not think about it. But what if we told you there was a way to skip over the pressures of banking? By matching with a TD Small Business Account Manager, you can get the proactive business banking advice and support your business needs. Ready to press play? Get up to $2,700 when you open select small business banking products. Yep, that's $2,700 to turn up your business. Visit td.com slash small

business match to learn more conditions apply. Yeah, it's no Kelvin is an amen. Okay, next one. Hey guys, just got back from the grocery store and got me to thinking what is the most bitch way to carry your groceries to the store? Um, you got your large shopping cart. For me, we've also had the mini shopping cart, then you've got the little shopping basket, or you have the option of just carrying everything manually. That's fine.

If you, none of those options are optimal. If you're carrying them manually, you could be dropping them all over the place, making a mess, living... It's a bitch. You got the little basket? No. You got the mini shopping cart, which makes you look like a giant. And then you've got the full on shopping cart, which means you're fully committed to the

shopping experience. That's what you got to do. You crash those a lot though too, because you lose control. What's the most bitch? I don't know. Oh yeah, because it's a know. I think the big one is the best option. I think the middle one is the worst. But also there's something to be said for when you have the small one

and you think you need a couple things and it turns out you need like 15 instead of eight things. Huge bitch. And you're literally, I can't do it because the camera's not wide enough but it's like you're like leaning it because it's so heavy and you kind of got I can't do it because the camera's not wide enough, but it's like, you're leaning it because it's so heavy, and you kinda got your other hand on it

and you're helping yourself out, you're just such, such a bitch. And it's heartbreaking to be that bitch. I often, I have to do that a lot. You misjudge what you, where you see something like, oh yeah, you should, oh, a little wafers fuck Yeah, here's a lesson. I learned really kind of a long time ago and it's a genuinely

Great. Oh, yeah. Yeah lesson. It is a great lesson I know you never go to the grocery store hungry through you will always always spend a well ace spend too much money It's so don B, just like, think there are so many decisions to be made when there aren't. Just get what you like and go home. It's so dope though to go hungry though and fucking be so excited about everything and then when you get home be like,

ah I shouldn't have done that. That's a bad part, but like. Yeah, that's addict shit, yeah. My ass. Yes, yes. Simple as that, man. But like yeah, that's addict shit. Yeah My ass yes Yes That's right though Yeah

Well, I have our shit But yeah, that's I Don't you know I don't like at all supermarkets the way they're set up. I don't like at all supermarkets I don't like the way they're set up. I don't like at all supermarkets. The way they're set up. I don't like at all supermarkets. I don't like the way they're set up. I don't like the whole deal about like, everybody's always in their way and then you gotta be like, oh, excuse me. Yeah, but that's cause of the carts.

But it's also cause the people standing in front of the thing that you want. Fuck them. Did you say adult supermarkets? No, I don't like supermarkets. I don't think I said that. Oh. Who, me? I thought you said adult supermarkets. Got hypnotized once and the code word was

adult supermarkets and that's it, he has to kill everybody in the room. Now he's snapped out of it. He actually has no idea where he is. He has no idea who's in front of him. He has no idea where or anything except the weapon to use to kill us. Did you say adult supermarkets?

I need to confirm. Uh, no. Just opens his drawer. anything except the weapon to use to kill us. Did you say adult supermarkets? I need to confirm. No, just opens his drawer. What the heck? Where am I? Fucking. Did you say adult supermarkets? Worst fighter ever. No?

Why do I have my keys in my hand? Worst fighter ever. No? Why do I have my keys in my hand? Worst fighter ever. You remember the naked gun where it says- I mean, I never don't think about that. Yeah, with Reggie Jackson. That music, the- Must kill. Dude, Reggie Jackson is so bad at doing that walk.

Yeah. Wow. I love that though. It made it good. Wow. Just hear me out. I saw a conspiracy video from my favorite fucking guy on Instagram.

I talk about him all the time on my own show. His name is Fittest Flat Earther. Wow. And he was trying to make a point that celebrities stay like let me just give you an example. James Dean is Brad Pitt okay? They stay the same amount of famous throughout time. They get like whatever surgery or whatever the fuck yeah and what about it when there's pictures of Brad Pitt as a child he has no he's crazy yeah he has no like all the questions you're telling me fittest flat-earther is crazy believe

it or not he used to be a former gym teacher in Florida. I got fired because he wouldn't give up preaching his flat earth. Hey, we have to fire you. You keep saying Brad Pitt is James Dean. Yeah, no, you keep telling our children that earth is flat. Yeah. Wow. And so, sit down. All right, we're learning football today. Sit down, hug, earth is flat, go. Now he's got this page that's pretty popular, where like people comment like, God, you're so good, dude. I wish there was more people like you telling the truth out there. It's crazy.

Anyway, today I saw one that he was talking about, God, this was so good. He was talking about how Brad Pitt had, how it just so happens that Brad Pitt wore an A's hat in the movie Moneyball. Oh no, I hate shit like this so fucking much. And the A's in his mind, of course, they stand for angels.

And I thought as a baseball fan, oh, well if that was the case, then they would have made his hat an angels hat. Not an athletics hat. Because that's a different team. Yeah, not an athletics hat. You're so bad at thinking your own shit through. Wow. That's so stupid. So then what? I just stopped listening because I thought you were such a fucking idiot.

But his videos are incredible. They're worth watching I mean, I talk about all time on my show, but we could pull him up on luxury It's it's really wild and interesting that he has an a on his hat and a is also the name that The letter that starts for angels There's an angels baseball team So Anyway, subscribe like and subscribe. His whole thing is based on you don't even know what you don't know.

I have to subscribe to my channel because they won't even allow me to say it out loud in public. You got to join the private channel so that I can share with you. He literally thinks this is not parody, he thinks Elvis is Donald Trump. And he does the face halfway across, scan thing, you know, and you're just like, oh, he looks nothing like him at all.

And he'll be like, oh, interesting, interesting nose you got there, Elvis nose there you go I'm gonna build a wall anytime so interesting how you got it and exactly the same nose as Don there oh yeah and of course at the end it's so annoying he's like of course this was only for you know fun purposes I don't mean any of what he's saying. Oh, I am angry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm angry.

It would really upset you. Oh, I'm angry. I know. He's unbelievable. He's a perfect mix of that new kind of thing of like workout guru slash like conspiracy theorist has no political side besides They are all out to fool you. He's not a trump per guy

He's super religious, of course, but he hates trump. He hates kamala He fucking hates every single person That you know to him is just a big fat fucking liar And that's everyone who's ever told you the propaganda right that the earth is around well It's time for people to wake up. Yeah, dude. All right. That's it. I got my Europe tour going go to Chris leah calm I'll be in Huntsville, Alabama. I'll be in a bunch of places, Miami and all these different places. Go to chrisley.com. Thank you very much. Join patreon.com slash Matt D'Alia where it is constantly on and popping and on and popping

and never ever, ever ever, never never never never. Oops. Subscribe to this show's Patreon at patreon.com slash lifeline luxury words. Hey, it's just us riffing. We take those submissions We just riff we talk we fucking bonk heads. We fucking bonk ideas. We bonked Belen's don't fuck beautiful Well, we could So you never know what held the future holds? So yeah, I will see we will see you all again soon one way or the other Peace out So yeah, I will see we will see you all again soon one way or the other