Lifeline - 172. The Convincer

Episode Date: August 3, 2025

LIFELINE ✨LUXURY✨ is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/lifelineluxury⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Extra episodes every month, no advice, all for $5. Our Patreon is also the exclusive home to all the live podcasts which we film and upload! 🤳 Want to submit to Lifeline? Go here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠forms.gle/EYbqjvyy1A9r728Y9⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🎧 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠apple.co/3NG2G2G⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🔊 Subscribe on Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠spoti.fi/3NPUwoT⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🔗 All our links: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠linktr.ee/watchlifeline⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Go to tryapt.ai/lifeline, take the quiz... and Use the code LIFELINE for 50% off Today we're wondering if you can sub any kind of bread for hot dog buns or if you should go back to the store, if having a hair-of-the-dog is ok, moving on from cheating, and if "I'm not ready for a relationship" is bullshit. 💚 Lifeline is the first podcast about you, hosted by Matt D'Elia & Chris D'Elia. More LIFELINE: Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠instagram.com/watchlifeline⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Tiktok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠tiktok.com/@watchlifeline⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ More Matt D'Elia: Sign up FOR FREE For Matt's Patreon for all episodes of The Private Record and upcoming drops of Matt D'Elia is Confused Book 20 or 40 min one-on-one sessions with Matt at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mattdelia.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. More Chris D'Elia: Congratulations podcast: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠congratulationspod.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Live on tour: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠chrisdelia.com/tour⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

RUNK! RUNK! RUNK! RUNK! RUNK! RUNK! RUNK! RUNK!

RUNK! RUNK! RUNK! RUNK! RUNK! RUNK! Hey guys, it is episode 172. Happy birthday to Evangeline Lilly and also Martha Stewart. I do know. Evangeline Lilly friend of his, Martha Stewart friend of mine. We are not friends. I like her, we're friendly but we work together. You know that Martha Stewart and I had a relationship, right?

No, I didn't know that. Yeah, I banged her. But Evangeline Lilly is great. We banged doggy style. It was crazy becauseeline Lilly is great. We bang doggy style. It was crazy, cause she was like, do it more doggy style. And I was like, more fully doggy style. And she was like, do it more like a dog. And then what I realized is she wanted me to bark.

And I was like, but you're Martha Stewart. And she was like. The weirdest conversation. Get it going. But you're Martha Stewart. I'm gonna be in Miami, Bienvenido a Miami. And then I will be in Houston, Texas, Salt Lake City, Boise, Pittsburgh, Washington, Tulsa, Springfield,

Fort Smith, Arkansas. Anyway, I'll be on a bunch of different places. Springfield, Missouri, you don't wanna leave out because there's a Springfield in every single state. So don't leave it out. Springfield, Missouri is, and you know what? Springfield, Missouri is awesome. Is it what? Springfield, Missouri is awesome. Is it really?

Yeah, it's awesome. It's an awesome place. And then I'll be in Europe. I love how it's Fort Smith, New Orleans, Pensacola, Florida, and then Oslo. Yeah, then I'll go to, so go to chrislee.com. And then you'll be in Amsterdam, in the house. And then you'll be Copenhagen, in the house.

Nope, nope, nope. And then you'll be London, in the house. You're making me not wanna go. And then you'll be Dublin, you'll be Dublin, you'll be Dublin, you'll be Copenhagen in the house. Nope, nope, nope. And then you'll be London in the house. You're making me not wanna go. And then you'll be Dublin. You'll be Dublin, you'll be Dublin, you'll be Dublin in the house. All right, all right, all right, all right, all right. And then you'll be back in Midland, Texas, you know?

Actually, that sucks. That's such a weird trip, you know? Yeah, well, I'm not going from frigging Stockholm to Midland or whatever. No, I'm not going to Stockholm. Well, I'm trying to work out Stockholm, actually. All right, whatever. No, I'm not going to Stockholm. I'm trying to work out Stockholm actually. All right, whatever. So walking back, walking back. All right, so that's what's going on. Sign up for our Patreon, you keep the show going.

If we don't have enough Patreon subscribers, we quit. patreon.com slash Lifeline Luxury. There are more than 60 episodes, including two full live episodes. If you don't sign up for it, listen. Let me do a list. You hate me. You hate my brother, who's sitting right next to me. You hate my dad, who's getting older, not gonna live forever. You hate my mom.

We both came out of my mom and you detest her. And you hate, well, yeah. Our producers wanted to get in on it. He just kept raising his hand suggesting we include him, so him too. You hate him, but we hate him, so that's nothing different. Exposed me. No, we don't hate him, we love him. We've loved him forever. I've loved him longer though. I've loved him so much. I've loved them a long time. Talking so much about nothing. Well, why don't you shut your mouth? Oh, dude, oh, dude. Oh my gosh, dude.

I just realized something. I did so much coke before this. Dude, oh my gosh. It just hit me like a ton of bricks. Shut your mouth. So dick. Subscribe to the channel on YouTube. We cracked 600k, but what's after 600k?

I think it's 700k. I don't know, man. And I think we want to get to 700k. The biggest thing is that we're going to be able to get to 700k. We're going to be able to get to 700k. We're going to be able to get to 700k. We're going to be able to get to 700k. We're going to be able to get to 700k. We're going to be able to get to 700k. We're going to be able to get to 700k. We're going to be able to get channel on YouTube. We cracked 600k, but what's after 600k? I think it's 700k.

I don't know, man. And I think we want to get to 700k. The biggest deal in the world is going on right now. Matt Delia, who is me, has his own Patreon. It's patreon.com slash Matt Delia. I have my own show. It's twice a week. Sometimes it's three times a week. Sometimes I'm Santa and I give you four times a week. I have my own show. It's so much coke. It's a movie show. I talk about just movies. Sometimes I go you four times a week. I have my own show. It's a movie show. I talk about just movies.

Sometimes I go live with just the chat. I say, hey everybody, I'm looking at you like this. I'm talking like this. You ask me questions, I'm answering them. And really, it's really something. It's really something. And you know what else is really something? It's very not expensive.

And if you would like it to be, if you would like to be, you can be in the writer's room part of the show. Do you want to be in the writer's room? Or do you want to be sitting with the thumb in your butt just watching the show? The worst salesman. Get in the writer's room so you can talk to me and the other people in the writer's room,

of which there are many, because they're smart. Okay, so sign up for that tier. Get a pile of cocaine before you, in the car, before you got here, and then wash your face and come in. And then, you know, we really love our merch and we want you to love it too and buy it. Well, that was a hell of an intro, man. I used to bang Marshall Stewart. Too long, and you didn't.

But whatever, dude. I went to, what do you call it? Nobody knows except you. Huntsville, no? A bunch of people know it. Now, yeah. I'm just saying it was in your head. Huntsville, Alabama.

You've said before that you like Huntsville, Alabama. I did? Yeah. Oh. You did. I think I was talking about Birmingham. I've been to, I've been to Huntsville, Idaho.

Never been to Alabama, yeah. Yeah, I mean, yeah. There's two states I haven't been to, Montana and Mississippi. Oh, I've been to, I actually have spent a long time in Montana. It's beautiful and really sad. Sad?

Yeah, because there was so much work there and now there's meth and not work. Well, that's what happened when you ruined it. You went there and ruined it. It wasn't my fault? Yeah. Well, there was the beautiful mining towns and back when you could mine whatever you wanted.

And then the good old What we'd like to call my government came through and said hey guess what you can't mind that anymore You're a bad guy You're a villain Hmm, and now you have no job. I saw Superman Where's conversationalist? No, it's a good one. I saw Superman. How was it? It was great. No, it wasn't. Yes, it was. James Gunn is great. You know what? You know what?

We're going to talk about James Gunn for a second. Okay. I believe you that it was great. Oh. Do you know why? Because Dad said it was great. Dude, I went with Dad. We went yesterday. Why can't you believe me if I say it's good?

Generally, I mean, I'm, I, well, no, I mean, I believe you more than I believe, like, you know, some guy. Yeah. But dad and I share a taste way more often than you and dad share taste. I don't know if that's true, dude. I, I, I'm the convincer and I don't know if that's true. And I can convince you. I mean, that, give me eight hours. Literally just undo your own claim. I'm the convincer. I don't know if that's true. No, no, I don't know what that's true. And I can convince you. I mean that... Give me eight hours, I can convince you to do anything. Literally just undo your own claim. I'm the convincer, I don't know if that's true.

No, no, I don't know what you're saying is that true. What I'm saying is I can convince you that it's a good movie or a bad movie. No. It's a good movie and I'll convince you. Give me eight hours, I can do it. Actually, I can't even talk about James Gunn, because we're only seven minutes in, and the things I want to say about James Gunn aren't negative.

It's just... Everybody knows his old Twitter. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we've talked about it. Did we talk about this? It's the weirdest thing, maybe, ever. And what's even weirder is that he got fired from the movie he was directing, and then got hired to run DC. Didn't we talk about this though on this?

I think we might have. Yeah, we did. And then, and it is weird, but he really he really I mean makes a good superhero movie man. Like he's a good director is what he is. Yeah. That thought he was good is good director. The acting was good. Superman finally they cast a good person. He's good at Superman. Finally. Wait what do you mean? Nobody's ever played Superman good. I mean, you could argue. Christopher Reeve. Yeah, you could argue that. But also, sometimes, first of all, it was 1978, and it was the first time ever. So there's that whole first time ever.

Yeah, but the guy's so good. The guy's so good. He's the first guy that plays Superman charismatically. Check this out, though. I really want you to think about something. Okay. Pretend I'm at an audition for Superman, all right? And I come in like this. Like, charismatically. Check this out though, I really want you to think about something. Okay. Pretend I'm at an audition for Superman, right?

And I come in like this. And this is my audition. Mm-hm. Yeah. I should do it to that. You'd have to be the villain. You'd have to be the villain. You'd have to be the villain.

But hang on, no, watch villain. Dr. Ugly Man. It's Dr. Ugly Man. Oh no. Oh god, he's going to kill us just by looking at him because he's so ugly. No, then you go like this. Oh my god, a homeless guy just on the corner of the street. That's Superman. Well, that's Dr. Ugly Man.

On the corner of the street. That's Superman. That's Superman. That's Superman. Yeah. Well, that's Dr. Ugly Man on the corner of the street. I forgot what I was going to say. Okay. That's probably a good thing.

Moving on from that, did you see New South Park? I didn't yet, no. We were just talking about it. It's, I mean... You're mad at me for not seeing it? Yeah, yeah. I'm really pissed. It's I've always liked South Park Who doesn't myself funny is that Trump saw it's it?

Makes more fun of Trump than it's ever made fun of anybody ever. Oh really and He said Who cares about South Park? It's the lead. It hasn't been relevant for 20 years to even like go there is it hasn't been relevant for 20 years. To even like go there is to show how out of touch you are. Like it is the most relevant show every single episode. And he's gay in it and Satan is his boyfriend. Well, isn't that, didn't they do the same kind of thing

for Saddam Hussein? And they, the exact same dialogue they repeated in this episode. So it's like an obvious joke. Wow. Wow. It's so, so funny. Oh, really? And what's so funny about it is, you know the thing about the merger, right?

Yeah. So just for the briefest possible context, the government has to approve mergers that big on that level and Paramount has been trying to buy CBS and a bunch of its affiliates and that's why they fired Colbert. That's why they gave him money for the Kamala Harris lawsuit, all this stuff, because they wanted to get on Trump's good side, so Trump would approve the merger. Trump approves the merger. They're sitting on the new episode of the new season of South Park for like years. Yeah, wow. The day the merger goes through, they air the episode and it is... Oh my god, that's so funny. It's like the most...

Most shitting on Trump thing ever. Wow, that is so funny. Just that is even if the jokes weren't funny and they are. Yeah. Yeah. That would be the funniest thing. Just that is some bullshit. That's so funny. Wow. I just and their new deal is they got paid. Yeah, I know. It's the most. I know it's like pretty relevant. It's the most money. 1.5 billion or something for for five seasons of 10 episodes each. Oh, wow. Well, it's it's just I don't know ever since the Epstein file stuff. It's just like dude. Come on. Yeah. 1.5 billion or something for five seasons of 10 episodes each season.

Well, it's just, I don't know, ever since the Epstein file stuff, it's just like, dude, come on. He's fucked. All right. Let's start. Yeah. Oh, you're a fucking. Oh, dick. Yeah. So that makes him an ass. Yeah. Ripped. Made a movie. His mustache is desperately trying to get to his shoulders. It is so weird, dude. That looks like he took a bandaid off of his mouth and that's the residue. You look-

In all seriousness though, we didn't end up going on another date. That was the last one. He actually looks way better. Yeah, you can't tell what that stupid I told him. I said I did warn you, but that still doesn't make it right. And that's pretty much it. That's it. He's the guy who he's if I remember remember correctly He's the guy that did the guy took a girl went on a date with his friend's ex, right? No crush crush. That's right. His friend wouldn't right right this girl or anything He's a good dude then he'd listen. He literally asked for our advice We shot his I mean, I told him he was a I told him he's a fucking asshole, right?

But but but what and and he listened to us and did what didn't do it again? I mean I told him he was a fucking asshole. Right. But what? And he listened to us. And did what? Didn't do it again. And he told his friend. Didn't see her again. And he told his friend. Oh, cool.

I wonder how the fallout was, but that's cool. Funny update to a video. Good job. Also the comments talking shit about him that he posted means that he's a funny person. Yeah, because he don't give it. You don't. Yeah, because you don't like he doesn't let it get to get to him. You know, yeah, he seems like a car. It wouldn't get to me.

Wouldn't get to me. Wouldn't get to me. So that guy's funny. Let's go. That's great. Good job, dude. Hi, Chris and Matt. So my husband and I have. You're not married. dude. Hi Chris and Matt. So my husband and I have a date earlier. I just came from Walmart and to pick up hot dog buns. And we had planned s'mores and hot dogs for tonight with the kids and we forgot the buns and he thought

that bread would be fine as a replacement for buns and immediately it's a no for me because I feel like that just ruins the vibe. It's gross. I don't like it. I don't like it at all. But why wouldn't you get hot dog buns? We're already doing hot dogs. Yeah, but hold on.

And I get the get the great kind of hot dogs with that's like the cheddar cheese, you know, in the middle and he got the Oscar Meyer hot dogs just just a plain old nasty yeah hot dogs and he thinks bread is okay too he says a button and I was you know absolutely not and I go to Walmart and I just picked up butts. No biggie. But I would love your guys' opinion on if you think that's an acceptable replacement or not. Anyway, thank you. Bye. So they forgot the butts. First of all, you're so hot. You have the greatest teeth in the world. Your husband's the luckiest guy in the world.

You don't know that. How is he that dumb? No, guys, play us fuck up, dude. Play us fuck up. Player, I I'm saying he's married with kids But but play is fuck up player the playa listic style within you it has nothing to do with what you're doing absolutely talking out of your ass, but uh I was doing that a little earlier when we get to stop the part guys cuz I was going in the bathroom But uh, yeah, yeah, I don't know if they, but we had to stop the podcast because Chris took a gigantic shit.

Well, no. And then when it was done, he said- Now the hot chick is gonna hear what I've been doing, dude. And that's not true. I know, but maybe wait until we're done. Well, it could have been a joke and then you were like, made it real.

Chris was going to the bathroom. So you know what? Fine, yeah. I actually went twice since I've been here because I'm having trouble. And now the hot chick knows. The only reason I brought it up is because he said, Oh, what a relief eight times right after you take it. So that's the only

reason I brought it up. What a fucking relief I said. Yeah, you're misquoting me. And I said it five times and it was funny and it got funnier and funnier. And I'm the man dude. But I tell you what though. So he forgot the hot dog buns? That's first. Second, he got the ones that kill you, the hot dogs that kill you because they're made of like pig nose and ass.

Third of all, he thought instead of getting buns, just regular ass bread would work. So did he forget to get the buns? I don't know why. Sounds like it. I don't know why you're having a hard time understanding the simplest thing in the world because not only did I say yes to that 13 times. Wait till I clear it up. Not only did I say yes to that 13 times, she said. It's gonna be so awesome when I clear it up. Go ahead. No, no, go ahead. No, no, I'm done.

I'm gonna buy it at the end. That's it. She said it. Because you don't know if he forgot the buns or if he intentionally didn't get the buns because he thought bread was okay or if he got... Yeah, yeah, yeah, dude. Oh, fuck, I knew, baby. I knew it, dude. And that makes up for me going to the bathroom twice. Now I'm sexy. No, that's not, I didn't go, oh, because you're, oh, he's right. He's sexy. I said, oh, because you once again made up a thing that she didn't say. But you do with every call. Context. You'll be like, well, maybe she's from Indiana and

what they do in Indiana is like, she didn't say she's from fucking Indiana. I'm using clues, dude. And I'm picking up extracurricular stuff from what she's not saying. Not even the right word. Anyway, dude. He forgot the buns. Okay.

They had bread. Right, and he's like. And he's like, what the fuck, we have bread, what's the big deal? The big deal is, you are gonna get a divorce, and I'm gonna marry your wife next. No, he forgot the buns, okay. So you don't say, what's the big deal, use bread.

You might say, I mean, we could use bread, but what you do is go back to the store and get buns. And here's why, you don't live, you're not Amish. Yeah, no, you go back. And it doesn't take 30 hours to get buns. As much as I hate having to do things and I brought back hot dogs and I forget buns, I go, oh fuck, all right, I'll be right back,

I go get buns. Yeah, because that's what everyone does. Period. Especially when it's your kids. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's the twist of the knife there. When it's your kids, you just, yeah, there's no exception. If your kid's face is like depressed and shit,

you just like- Although they do love white bread. You love bread. Kids do love white bread. The dad, he's like a Will Ferrell character, you know? You love bread. Just put it on the bread. Divorce someone and like a Will Ferrell character, you know? You love bread! Just put it on the bread! Divorce and marry.

So she went to go get the buns? Divorce and marry me. I actually don't know the answer. She was holding them right there. Was it? And she was in the car, so it made me think that she went to go get them. Wow, dude.

Oh, and now it's okay when I use context. And now it's okay when I'm a little extracurricular. I'm sexy, and what I did is I turned it on when I took two dumps, and you exposed me, and I turned it, and now I'm being and I'm what I did is I turned it on when I took I took two dumps and you exposed me and I turned it and now I'm being absolutely sexy and And thank God it's in for the hot chick The amount that you're saying you took two dumps is erasing any potential sexualness About you said now I have to own it now like eight miles. Here's the deal. If

all of you and I took two dumps, not all not if all of what she said being the case. If he made her go to get the buns. You know what? Here's here's here's a story. Here's the here's the order of events that's gonna happen now. You file for divorce. No. You get the divorce. You find me. No.

She already attracted to me because of what I did. We get married. How I turned it around. And he cries for the rest of his life because you fucked up with the buns. Dude, here's the deal. Just kidding, dude. I'm not trying to take your wife. I know he knows that, but some guys are crazy.

No, dude. Just kidding dude, I'm not trying to take your wife. I know he knows that but some guys are crazy. No dude, I had context and I was gonna say something and you fucking ruined it period. But what you said, I had to wait too long and I don't care. No you care because you're angry. Yeah I'm pissed. Dude I can't remember what I was gonna say, but it's all good, man. How much does that happen more that you get older? Dude, I- So bad. I know, I know.

I didn't even remember. I said the song Congratulations, so I won't get into it, but I was in Huntsville. I didn't know. I had no recollection of being in that venue before. Zero. And you know you've been in that exact place? I know, because at the end I went to sign the wall and where I went to go sign the wall, it was the exact same place I signed it seven years earlier. Oh, that's really interesting actually. And they were like, you've been here? And I was like, no I haven't.

I was like, you're gaslighting the audience. How weird. Yeah, really weird. It's the first time that's ever happened where I've had no no ink. I would have I would have fought to the death. No, I have not been on there. Weird. Yeah, so how weird. Yeah, really. What's also weird is that I knew you'd been to Huntsville. I knew I drove through it. Because I know anyway, whatever. It's not important. It's not even interesting. But yeah, dude, you

got to get the buns to have hot dogs, or just slice them up and don't eat buns with the hot dogs the question that you're asking though is you're 100% correct yeah yeah yeah he's he's out of he was I understand if he's trying to do the dude thing where he's like can't we just you know then that's totally I get that and that's fair but you can't the guy can't act like it's okay to put the bread on it. He knows he fucked up, like I messed up. The way to come out is, I fucked up,

can we put the bread on it? If he's trying to act like, what? Bread is bread, dude, the guy's crazy. He's also just lying to her and himself because nobody in the world thinks that. It gets all soggy and shit. It's just, yeah, I love that he got the Oscar Mayer ones. That's so funny. That's so dude. There are I don't even know why I know this. One is because I've been eating hot dogs again. Oh. Which is

weird. Why? Here's why. Yeah. They make hot dogs now that are like just a hundred percent pure like beef. They're like they they're like, good for you. Not good for you. Like, they're just like a hamburger, basically. They used to be filled with pig ears and shit. But now, just like anything else, you've got like a really nice organic thing. They're kind of like fatter than regular hot dogs. Like my big fucking huge dick, you know what I'm talking about? No, I know what you're trying to say, but that's not true. Hot dogs are a good organic,

like true 100% beef hot dog. So far. A true organic 100% beef hot dog. On a Hawaiian roll. Oh, dude. Is just like the best thing in the world. Shut up, shut up while I'm talking. Yeah, Matt's right. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You guys are the guys thing in the world. Shut up. Shut up while I'm talking.

Yeah, Matt's right. No, no, no, no, no, no. You guys are the guys who go to fucking La Cabanita and you fucking sit there for hours, bro. I eat what I eat, dude. I eat what I eat. And I'll tell you what, dude, you go to the Mexican places and you like the true authentic Mexican places and you like the bullshit brownies, but I like Duncan Hines. And I will go to a place that's a hole in a wall that actually has some flavor to it.

Well, well, well, well, yes, got out of that one. You're saying what we do is wrong and then you're saying a different version of what we do, which is that we like authentic Mexican food. And then you're saying that's bullshit. I go into an authentic hole in the wall, which is just a different kind of authentic. But you'll go to a nice restaurant. It's not like it's fucking nice. It costs like $9 for three enchiladas and rice and beans. It's just popular because it's so good.

Okay. And one time me and dad went there when I was really little and because it's been my favorite restaurant since I was a little kid. My ass. The little cabin, dude. You don't't know anything I do know what it is and the waiter and waitress there was a birthday I was there you were not there I was there dude well this is crazy I am right now you were not there and they said you might have been there and they sang happy birthday. I was there and the reason I don't remember you being there is because dad and I thought it was the funniest

thing ever. You were probably in a corner crying because you bit your lip and you were saying nobody cares about me. Bro I did that once and it was that fucking min's kitchen and it was Vietnamese food dude. Thai it's Thai food. It's Thai food whatever dude I'm not racist but it fucking sucked dude and nobody loved me when I was eating there at that Because I almost choked to death and nobody fucking cared. Do you know why that happened for real? It's because you do, you're like the boy who cried wolf. Bro, if that happened to me Mom and dad would have been like holy shit, Matt, you okay? Cuz I don't cry and complain about every little thing that happens to my body

Neither do I, dude. Not anymore! I've been pretty much a fucking grown-up about going to... Dude, my insides are exploding. I've been pretty much a grown-up about it. Yeah, but you were like 14 at the time. Well, right now I'm 45 and I'm doing good with it. Literally, you stormed out, you said, doesn't anybody love me?

You stormed out of the restaurant. No, that was a different time. And we watched you pace back and forth in front of the glass window of the restaurant and we laughed at you. I didn't say, you guys are a bad family first of all. And I didn't say, I didn't say, don't you guys love me anymore. I said that when I bit my lip

when we were at the kitchen table in fucking New Jersey because I bit my lip and nobody fucking cared. And I said, doesn't anybody love me? And I was, I understand that was a bit much, but the Min's Kitchen thing. What happened in Min's Kitchen then? I almost choked and died and I said it and everyone just kept eating their fucking stupid rice and I walked outside and started to cry a little bit because nobody fucking cared if I lived or died on Foothill Boulevard. Here's what happened. You didn't almost die, and everyone knew that except you. So we weren't gonna just humor you and be like,

oh my God. You don't know, you're not me. Oh, you live my experience, right? Thank God you're alive. And I'm the only guy, and if I say, oh no, that's not what happened, everyone thinks I'm gaslighting, but you guys don't live my experience,

and you say that I didn't choke and didn't almost die, and you all laugh at me, okay, okay. We see how it is, dude. We see it as. It's the boy who cried me okay okay we see how it is dude we sit out see it's not the boy who cried wolf bro all you did was fucking crying crying say why don't you guys love me dude that was when I bit my lip I was fucking seven or eight years old the men's kitchen thing I was older and it was more it was I was more I was more of the mind that I knew what was going on and I almost died Even at that age when I was three when you pick your lip. I was like, what a bitch

Three-year-old thinking that All right, anyway, I'm handling the fuck I mixed up the stories you're right having to go to the bathroom I handle it like a boss though. Yeah, I'll say yeah some kind of boss fucking relief the shit boss Hey guys, I know a problem that many of you have. It's that you feel lost or stuck in your life or career. And if you don't feel stuck in your life, you feel stuck in your career. If you don't feel stuck in your career, you feel stuck in your life.

Well, there's a solution out there. It's called Apt. Apt is your 24 seven AI mentor, and it helps you figure it all out from your life to your career. It starts with a quick 10-minute quiz. It's very easy. I've done it. It gives you a deep personality breakdown and a list of career paths that are perfect

for you, and it's great. It gives you daily insights. I mean, it's something you can kind of check in with every day, and it gives you tools to get where you want to get in your life and career. It's not one of those apps where you download it and you're like, oh, and then you forget about it. Like you use it. Yeah, it's kind of provides you with something new every day.

It's a lot of apps are addicting, but this one is one that makes you, uh, that is good for you. So it's okay if it's that way. Um, it's very powerful. It's trained on 1.8 trillion data points. And it's already helped over half a million people. And I'm one of them. So I think that you should honestly use it.

And it's Chris D'Alia certified, dude. Go to tryapt.ai slash lifeline. Take the quiz and use the code lifeline for 50% off. That's apt. Try apt, A-P-T. I'm watching a show called Your Friends and Neighbors. It's pretty good. But I see this scene.

The scene was in the show. And I see it in a lot of movies. And it goes something like this. There's this guy that's representing a gang or whatever. And then there's another there's a gal Representing femininity or whatever. They're both trying to create a deal together So whether there's blackmail whatever involved either way they're on opposite sides, but they're trying to collaborate with you Okay, and the guys very you know, just like if you want to play with the big dogs

You sit on daddy's lap and really fucking fuck your whole life up and that's the lines on my favorite show and she's just kind of threatened and she's looking down and then she looks up and goes fuck you oh wow and that and then that happens. And what even pisses me off more is the guy looks at her and he's now threatened because she said, fuck you slowly and deliberately. Like that would never happen.

That exchange doesn't happen. And nothing about what she said was intimidating whatsoever. Right. This is a great submission. It's a good submit. Yeah. She's I like this lady is the way she's explained. She's very good at explaining what happened. She's being funny. She's good Yeah, um your great eyes, too Sorry, she she sorry I commented on but she has sunglasses on she took them off to Say the line and I was like, holy shit. Oh, I don't notice that because I only think my wife is attractive Okay, a fucking Mormon. I love my wife I love my wife I love my wife I love my wife when I go like that. Okay okay Joel Webin.

What's that? He's like the most like right-wing pastor who thinks like women shouldn't even open their mouths. Go ahead. Wow. I was thinking of the scene where they're like, can you say that in English? You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Or, I'm way ahead of you, that one. Or I'd like that. I don't like when they say shit

that people don't say. No, see, that doesn't bother me. I don't want movies to be like real life. No, no, no. people don't say. No, see that doesn't bother me. I don't want movies to be like real life. No, no, no. I don't either. But when it's a version of what they think is real that isn't real, that bothers me. I explicitly, specifically agree with this woman. And it's a trend now that is such a... Tastes something good. that is such a...

Tastes something good. An accepted trend, which is the badass woman arc character thing, which is like, writers have gotten... Writers are like... I'm not going to come up with a good metaphor, but they're just the laziest people on earth. And if they see other people doing something and it worked, they'll be like, oh, I'll do that.

And then three, four times down the road, that's how you end up with scenes like that. The problem is every show, every show now does a version of this where the woman is like, fuck you. I don't have a nutsack, but I can still fucking make a great deal. And it's like... That would be a great line. We know. Women are fucking... Women make more money. Women literally make more money than men on average because 70% of college students are women. Like there's no women like one already. Stop. It's not like there's dudes like, wait a minute. Women

are in business. Yeah, right. Yeah. But how they're pregnant. They're cooking. I, I, I, I hear you. I totally agree. There's so much shit like that. I mean, being a writer myself, I see it all the time. It's embarrassing. It's embarrassing. There's so much bad writing on TV. It's not even like watchable. I started watching this show called High Town.

Have you heard about it? Anthony probably loves it. I've never heard of it. I don't think I know it. I've seen every episode. Fucking so nervous I'm gonna find out. I don't think I know it. But it's called someone to find out and I'm gonna know it but it's With James Bachelot, which I love. Yeah, he's great. I know dude. I know some dirty dirty shit about him. Well, I love him

He's great. No, I think he's a great actor. I do And sad dirty shit. Oh really? Oh, okay. So anyway The that show So anyway, that show, it had a great cold open, a great one. Hightown. Yes. Like the first scene of it, I go, I just put it on, right? And I go, oh, fuck yeah, dude. I'm so excited.

Bro, I'm telling you, I'm like, I got a new show. Created by a woman. Great. Ever since that cold open, it's been such dog shit. Just that was good? Dude, I don't even understand it. The cold open was so cool and well done, and then they made this fucking... They put so much work into it? Well, no, no, no, it was very simple.

Okay. But it was, I mean, just giving up on the podcast. No, I forgot to take my medication. He forgot to take his medication. Nobody can hear you, so I'll say it. But it was so good. And then all of it is like that kind of shit where it's like, not like women power shit,

but like it's so badly written. It's so badly written. I don't even know this shit. And it's so badly written it's so badly written I don't even know this and it's yeah it's been on for a bit too and it's so badly the acting he's great but the acting is just terrible there's two there's a few good actors in it but the show's just fucking bad bro I can't even do it it made me mad interesting now it's so interesting that. It's like every it's like you know what it's like AI made it.

Yeah, there's a lot of shit. Yeah, it's like they just took everything from every other show. There's a movie you know that I mean, you would really like his movies. If you don't know him, you should watch him. His name is Quentin DuPierre. Do you know who he is? You're talking about Quentin Tarantino. Quentin DuPier, do you know who he is? You're talking about Quentin Tarantino. Quentin DuPier was a DJ and now he's like a famous, there's an X at the end of

his name but that's right and now he makes movies that are like ultimate satires. He made a movie with like literally the four biggest movie stars in French. It came out and nobody knew or it wasn't part of the press at all that AI entirely wrote it. Oh my god. And when it came out everyone was like this would be like kind of makes sense but like something's like a little wrong with it. Really? And yeah and it it was extra. You're talking about the script was AI. Yeah. It was extra confusing because all the actors in it

are like big, big, big, big stars. Whoa. I think it's called the second act. I think that's what it is. Well, why did he do that? Well, isn't he gonna get... It was like a prank. Yeah, but he made money off it, right?

That's it, this is it. Yeah. You know those actors? I don't know, I can't see them. They're too far away. But they're... Leah C. Dood is the biggest one probably. So, but that's...

All written by AI. Every single word. Vincent Lindon. But is that legal? I guess. Yeah, because they're just putting in prompts and spitting it out. Some of it's really funny. It's weird to make money on that. There's like this 20 second stretch of an actor who is...

He knows they're actors filming a movie in the town they're in. and he wants to be an actor, and he's so nervous that he's this big fat guy. He brings over the tray of wine, and he can't stop shaking, and for 20 minutes, they're trying to help him pour the wine, and it's like the funniest shit ever. Really?

Yeah. But it's funny because of them. It's not like. Yeah, yeah, of course, they're good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just so weird that like, I forget why I brought it up, but he's... What were we talking about?

To start AI shows. Yeah, no, it's like AI. This is AI and it's better than writers. Because he's a talented director. Right, yeah. Yeah, when I watch Hightown, I'm like, oh, this is because, it's not even necessarily because the writing is that bad, it's because the director's bad.

Yeah. You know, you can make anything kind of work. I mean, on TV, a lot of TV's because the writer, movies are almost always the director though. Because on TV, the director's come and go. Like in Superman, there's this part where it's like, I don't know, it's coming from where it sort of doesn't matter, but like, you're like,

the way they explain that is retarded, and they should have just said something else happened. And it's very obvious and easy that they should have done that, but they didn't, they just missed it. That's really stupid. Like, I'll just tell you, it's not really a spoiler really a spoiler but well no it is kind of. I don't care. But he's like he's like Lex Luthor gets actually this isn't really a spoiler but he gets Superman's DNA from he's like I traveled I I followed you, your fights for years,

until I finally scoured every fight, every place where you might've been, and I finally found a hair. And it's like, oh dude, Superman, just, he went to Starbucks and threw away a cup. Right, yeah, you didn't need to do that hard, yeah. So it's like, that's so stupid, but okay. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear you. That dude, Raphael Quinard, click on him. That guy is straight up. It's French. The funniest actor alive. Oh really? He's in a movie called Yannick, I think. Scroll down, same director. Mm-hmm, yeah. He's like not an actor. Right there, it's right there. He missed in a movie called Yannick I think, scroll down, same director.

Yeah, he's like not an actor. Right there, he missed it, he missed it like an idiot, but it's right there. Yannick is the funniest we've seen in the last five years. What? Why didn't you tell me? I don't know. What a dick. I don't know. All right, well anyway. In the middle of a performance of the play Le Koku, a very bad boulevard comedy, Yannick gets up and interrupts the show to take the evening back in hand. Basically, that guy just stands up and is like, this is so unbelievable. And like, you're doing this so bad and it's so stupid. And everyone in the audience,

he like takes over the whole night and it's just in real time. And he's so fucking funny. I can't even believe it. What? I gotta watch this. Wow okay all right well we're gonna we're gonna okay yeah we really gotta start helping some people isn't it yeah you should go next. Yo what's up Chris and Matt? So sunny. Been a fan for a fucking long-ass time. Mention his eyes. I love your show, love Lifeline, love congratulations. But I was just scared of you. You guys always brighten my fucking day

and make the workday better. Oh yeah. So I'll get right to it. Touch his face so much. Hair of the dog or no? If you're super hungover, do you fucking drink the next day or not? Of course not.

I don't know. No, the answer is no. I would think for sure no. I mean, scientifically, biologically, yes, but like, do you wanna throw up? Because if you like throwing up, then you should do that. If you're a fucking degenerate alcoholic, you should do that.

But instead of it that, take a couple fucking Excedrin, and get out of bed and stop being a bitch. So, Boris Doctor. And you're all good. So, Andrew Dice Doctor. Um.

The hair of the dog thing has always confused me because it seemed like an excuse for an alcoholic to have another drink. That's always what I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, oh dude, you know what's the best cure for a hangover? A big massive drink.

What do you think, Mr. Fucking Producer? You know better than anybody. Hey, you know how you get rid of your HIV? Fuck a prostitute, Rob. That's a crime. Go ahead. Well, yeah. I was gonna say, yeah, I mean.

You're into it. It's great, but you're extending your consequences. So, you know, somebody who's had many, many hair of the dogs. Don't do it after you're 30. That's a guy. I mean, that's pretty good. I looked about 30. You looked about online. So yeah, you should listen up. Yeah, start winding it down. Yeah. Alcohol starts to catch up with you and you gotta stop. You gotta, yeah dude, you gotta, dude, that is so true. Yeah. So one, suddenly one day you have hangovers and then they never, you never don't. And to be fair, Chris is drunk right now. So I, I do feel like that I have, dude, I don't drink.

You know that I don't drink. I've never done drugs ever. Okay. For those of you that don't know, never done it. Everyone knows that. Yeah, I know, but people still say, ever? So, yeah. And I have like food hangovers. Well, yeah, that, when you eat something late.

Oh, yeah, it's disgusting. Well, but not, it's not even necessarily late. It's what I have. Oh, really? But yeah, but it's the next day though. So I guess technically it is late, but it doesn't need to be like right before I go to bed. It can be, it can-

If I eat something late, dude, I feel so terrible. Oh, no matter what you eat? Almost. Oh, no, no, I'm not like that. If I get like in and out though, and then go to bed an hour and a half later, Oh, I'm fine. Yeah, and I used to be able to do that. No problem half later. Yeah, and I used to be able to do that.

No problem. Yeah, I mean, I used to be able to do a Del Taco at 4 a.m., wake up at 8 a.m., go to work, and feel fine, not even take a shit. And he worked at Del Taco. Which you took aid of when we got here. No, but then I turned it around, and that woman is crazy attracted to me.

So let's, and not you. Let's do another one. Hey guys, love you both I'm looking for some male perspective and advice on Certain dating situation and just some kind of a general topic that for like a lot of females But actually want to know the answer to okay from a guide perspective What do you guys think on the whole concept of right person, wrong time? Do you think it's valid? Do you think it's kind of meant? Since I've just been dating a guy who was going very well with, and both kind of had some serious chats about where it was going to go and very much was, was interest, decent interest from both sides.

But kind of dropped on me recently that from a lot of stuff he's got going on in his life at the moment, and we've actually got a little bit of long distance between us as well. And as kind of suggested that it might not be the right time for him. It's nothing to do with how he feels about me, but he can't give me what I need right now. And I just wanted to know how, whether you think to an extent, whether it's the right person, whether a guy will just make the effort regardless of how much he's got going on. But yeah, I want to know your guys' thoughts.

Oh, here's what I think about that. I do believe in right person around time, but what I think is if the person is truly right, then you make it work. So if he's not making it work and doesn't want to, then I don't think it's right. I mean, I don't think there's one person for everyone so that's good news but you know it's like if you're like look I really really like you but

this isn't the right time I don't think you really honestly truly want to be with that person. Yeah I mean I think yeah I agree I also think that um right person wrong time is is not something. I think it's another way of saying wrong person. Like, yeah, like I can't even walk through this exercise, exercise, thought exercise with me. You just got out of a horrible relationship mm-hmm you're hurt you're thinking oh my god I can't do this I'm bad at it I I'm I'm hurting people I'm getting hurt I'm causing destruction I'm ruining my own brain that day you see someone that you're insanely attracted to, you happen to spark up a conversation with her. It's one of the best opening conversations you've ever had with anyone. In what fucking universe are you like? Yeah, I don't get it. I don't get it, I don't get it.

I don't get it. That's not a thing. Yeah. What right person wrong time is, is a nice way of, a bullshit, but nice way of saying, I wanna get out of here. There's different levels of it being bullshit though. But like, I don't think someone who says it

is automatically a liar and lying. I think that sometimes people trick themselves. I think they believe it. Yeah, yeah. But they're bullshitting themselves. Right, right, right. So I just don't want it to seem like the guy's being malicious, he may not be.

Yeah, no, of course. But people are really, really stupid about this kind of shit when it's so, so simple. And it's twofold. One is there's, the thing about soulmates is a garbage lie that we've been told since we were kids, as garbage as life is fair and people are nice. It's so wrong.

There isn't one person out there for everybody. There are 30,000 people out there for everybody. There are nice. It's so wrong. There isn't one person out there for everybody. There are 30,000 people out there for everybody. There are 30. And it's just about where you are and where they are and when you connect and all that stuff. And also, I forget what the second thing wow. So there's really only one thing. But yeah, it's like, it's just people lie to themselves so much and they work themselves up into such fucking tizzies and they think so much about themselves. It's like, dude, relax.

Do you get a bone daddy rock card? Yes. Do you get along? Yes. Do you like being around this person even when you have nothing to talk about? Yes. Does the person not smell like cat piss? Yes. You know, adding too many. Are you close enough in age where you have things in common that you can be like, oh, remember Ace of Base? Yeah, huh, they sucked, yeah, huh. These are the things that matter. Everything else doesn't fucking matter. Remember the case of bass. You're lucky to like someone and have them like you back.

You're extra lucky to love someone and have them love you back. An R&B song. I don't understand these people that are like, it was just two years from now. Those people are mostly mixed up. Yeah. You know, um, you're, you're, you're making, here's the solace to take that person is someone who will always make life harder than it really is. And you don't want any part of that. That's a good point. So yeah, that is a good point

dang man, you make me you you you don't smell like capis and you love ace of bass and You're giving me a bone daddy rock heart Let's get married. I mean, yeah What's it? What was that one? Next no next had the funniest that was that's the poke coming through one. Yeah. But what's the... I don't know. I'm looking. We're gonna get married baby. Oh, it was Jagged Edge. Oh yeah, yeah. Let's get married. Unch, unch, unch, unch. Wow. Such a fucking... There is... Art's R&B was wilding out. Yeah. Nobody, no, nobody could have... I would, if I was going to... That's the blackest song I've ever heard in my life. I don't even know it so I can't...

Oh you're gonna make merry, but I'm bubba-dum-bunk. Let's get married. Because you know that the guy fucking cheats so much dude it doesn't even think it was cheating no it doesn't oh and then before he goes oh it's going on and they bet it would dude that's so that is as black as white is you know bad like horrible like like doing the uh uh cabbage patch no no i'm saying like well the white version of like such a only white version of the like a white song would be you know. Cheryl Crow? Yes yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. I'll never forget one time I was at a pool hall back when I used to be degenerate drunk and there was this guy playing pool he was big big fucking you know when people are fat and muscular, he was like that. And he was playing pool by himself. And Sheryl Crow. So is the name of that

song, soak up the sun? Yeah, yeah. That song was on. How's it go again? I mean, I don't want to sing it. Anthony, I'll do it. You won't it won't help you. It'll help me. I Just want to suck up the Sun. Yeah Hugh that kid song came on and he's playing by himself and he is fucking Belting out the lyrics. Oh like Running the table. He's not playing with anyone. He's just running the table Wow

He's not playing with anyone. He's just running the table playing. Wow. Singing that song. Just got to enforce that guy. And he's like 48 fat and buff. And had a backwards Raiders hat on. Dead now. And oh yeah, there's no doubt.

He died like three days later. He died that, no he died, but walking out the bar he got shot. That rips. No, no. I just wanna walk. No, he didn't get shot. He just fucking had a heart attack, you know?

No. Yeah. Yeah. No he did. He got shot at one. No, no, no, he got't get shot. He just fucking had a heart. He had a heart attack, you know? No. Yeah. Yeah. No, he did. He got shot at by a... No, no, no. He got shot with a bow and arrow. He got shot with a bow and arrow.

He got shot with a bow and arrow. He got shot with a bow and arrow. He got shot with a bow and arrow. He got shot with a bow and arrow. He got shot with a bow and arrow. He got shot with a bow and arrow. He got shot with a bow and arrow. He got shot with a bow and arrow.

He got shot with a bow and arrow. He got shot with a bow and arrow. He got shot with a bow and arrow. He got shot with a bow and arrow. He got shot with a bow and arrow. He got shot with a bow and arrow. He got shot with a bow and arrow. He got shot with a bow and arrow. He got shot with a bow and arrow. He got shot with a bow and arrow. You know? That's the blood. I know. Coughing it up. That guy was the shit. He had a big ass cowboy's jersey too.

A cowboy's jersey and a Raiders hat? Yeah. So mixed up. I mean he was singing a show of crow songs. Show of crow, I mean Jesus Christ. Is there anybody worse than show of crow? No, come on dude. What are you talking about? You like Cheryl Crow? Well, I'm not even saying I like her but worse than Cheryl Crow. Dude, there's

scores of people worse than Cheryl Crow. Yeah, I guess she I wouldn't even say she's bad. I'm just going off of like how much someone's song will get stuck in your head. Think about Mussolini. Well, I mean, okay. I'm talking about musicians. I don't mean she's worse than Hitler. Who's worse, Sherlock or Hitler? Fucking based.

Bro, somebody sent me a post on Instagram and he said, didn't know you were based bro, nice. And I looked and it was a black guy in the mirror posing and over the black guy it said, all juice box, meaning J-E-W-S, all juice think that we are are biohacking the white race to make mixed culture that and and and I go what the fuck is this you weren't in it at all no no and I looked and I had liked it by accident. Oh, and I go, Oh my God. And I dude, I'm just like, Jesus, the gift for you to see that like,

but the way people are about Jews on the internet is it's actually it is like the bottom is really the bottom is bottom thing. It's weird. It's really weird. It's like, dude, it's sad. Give it up. All of it is just sad. Just being that angry is sad. Yeah. Even if you do think something like that, just being so angry

about it is so sad. It's just odd, bro. Ah, nobody controls the world, you know? That's the best thing. Well, that's only one of the things that, it just. But it's just always the Jews. I know, I know. Always talking about, like, shut the fuck up,

get off your couch, move out of your mom's house, you're 47, you're fat, your skin looks like a fucking rug that's been in an apartment since 1987 that cats and dogs have been shitting on every single day. Yeah, you may be based, but what does that get you? Yeah, based, you know? I don't even know. Fucking based! Didn't know Chris Lee was so fucking beast. I mean, imagine that guy's thought process. He's scrolling.

He's like, this is such a lit meme. He sees you like it. And he's like, I got to write to Chris right now. Also. Had no idea you were so based. Also, oh, I mean, it was such a stupid thing. Because it was so obviously not made by the black guy. Somebody just took a picture of a guy taking a selfie and then wrote that over it. Which by the way, that's digital blackface dude.

You know about that? Oh no. That's like a real thing. What? Oh. It's considered a real thing. I don't know what. Like, it's a really common thing.

No, no. It's like a really, as everyone here knows, it's like a really common thing. No, no, it's like a really, as everyone here knows, it's like a really common thing to like take a picture or a video of a black guy or a black woman at a mall and use it as a meme. That's digital blackface. Wait, pretending it's you? No.

If it's not a black person doing it. I don't really know what that means, but. Like, you like, like just pushing your agenda the way you want to, but not. Well, isn't there, I mean, there are way more memes of black people with black people than there are actual, black people.

Percentage-wise black people to other people in the country. Oh, God. Okay, now I get it. Now I get what you're saying. Or if someone's like, so me, and it's like fucking Tiffany Haddish. Oh, oh, oh, oh, a white person using, oh, now I get it. I didn't get what you were saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I see what you're saying.

Oh, interesting, huh? Yeah, yeah. Everything's a problem. Well, that's interesting. So be careful out there, everybody. Well, the Joey Swole thing is the most interesting thing right now. Oh my god, dude. It's the most interesting thing right now. Who knew a guy named Joey Swole was the biggest fucking idiot down here?

Well, no, it's not. Well, let's not say he's an idiot, okay? Look. He's an idiot for getting defensive, then apologizing, then being like, you guys are all fucking stupid and I quit. All of it is so... Which one is it? We've texted before, me and him, he was gonna come to a show and like, he seemed nice enough. I'm sure he does. He probably, I mean, just a really,

he played it wrong and he kept playing it wrong. Yeah. You know? Over and over and over again, yeah. No. All the good I've done, all the people I've helped, all for nothing. When I need help, when I need kindness and compassion,

all caps, nothing. I truly hope all the people I've inspired to do great things in their life and pay it forward to help others and carry on my message. But no matter how much good you do, no matter how many people you help, they just wait for a reason to hate you and tear you down.

It's true. You either die a hero or live long enough to be the villain. That's awesome. Thank you all for your support. I love you all. No you don't. You're so mad. I love you all even though you hate me. Yeah. I love you all even though you hate my guts. This is funny, this commentary. God damn post one Hulk Hogan tribute and five days later you're off to your never good. That escalated so quickly. I've got no ill will towards Joey Swole other than when I don't realize I'm watching one of his videos

It can be jarring when I think I'm enjoying the wholesome content of a spandex clad woman Who's sharing her immaculate form with the internet or watching a young woman stay loose between sets with the casual dance with the camera? Then all of a sudden I'm blindsided by Joey swoles bulbous head on my screen. I I you know, I... What is Joey Swole? What is he? He's a guy, he's very fit, he's a bodybuilder, and he's got gyms, and he is... This is what set everything off?

Yes, that. And he is... By the way, it's an old video. It's an old video. No, I know, yeah. Five years old. But he... he, he, scroll up to the-

He basically made a following off of being online, saying you need to do better when people are like video taping in the gym, video recording in the gym, which I understand is annoying as fuck. So basically like if, if, women will be working out and being like, look at this guy staring at my ass while I'm working out. And the guy's just like, looks over.

And he's like, dude, let the guy fucking work out. Basically, that's his whole brand is, you need to do better, don't record in the gym. Don't call people out for doing things just that they're not doing. Just go to the gym, do what you're doing. Yeah. Go, yeah. Okay.

Or like people will be like, can't you see I'm recording? And he's like, nah, you can't do that at the gym. Okay, yeah. And he's right, you shouldn't be doing that stuff at the gym. That's really annoying, yeah. But yeah, this became a whole thing now where he posted something about Hogan, and then everyone's like, bro, you need to do better.

He's such a bad person. And then he just was like, I didn't know he was so bad, I'm so sorry. It's just like, dude, nothing would happen if he didn't say anything about this. Also, just, if you are gonna say something, leave it there, like don't, don't, if, if, if people are gonna be like, yo, you don't know how, you don't know he said the N word a thousand times

on, in the span of like 11 seconds, maybe you should know that before, like, great. Oh, hey, thanks, guys. I didn't know, I actually didn't know that. I don't know if I did either. I also don't give a shit about Hulk Hogan because I'm not a fucking infant. But also, but like, he was a terrible guy

in a lot of ways, and a lot of people who love him don't know that. But the worst thing he did was the thing about how he sold his friends out to make money. Wait, what? So apparently. Hulk? Yeah, Hulk, like they were trying to work out a, they were doing a, what do you call those?

Like a union deal. Protest, yeah, and he crossed the line. Oh really? Um, but I mean, how it's very clear to me that Hulk Hogan has some kind of seat CTE thing going on. He was so not present in just, just look at just all you have to do. Honestly, all you have to do and know is somebody crazy or not. All you gotta do is look at him. That's it. Yeah. And Hulk was easiest one to spot. That's why when people are like, like dude,

it blows my mind. That's why it's so weird when like people bend to the woke, even still they do, because it's very obvious who the crazy people are. The crazy people are the people screaming about something that doesn't matter that much and you've got fucking blue hair. Just look, who's the crazy person between the two? It's very obvious. If you get an argument with Joey Swole, okay, you look at Joey Swole, you go, Oh, he's too big. Oh, he's too muscular. Oh, I'm the less crazy one. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He went, you could say he went overboard with his apology, you know, and then I think that that's kind of what sets people off. They're like, oh, he's apologizing.

What's fucking really... Yeah, it opens the floodgates. Well, also, apologizing is one thing, but you're gonna, now, he posted the thing about Hulk Hogan. People are, by the way, people that are mad aren't even his fans. They're like, fuck this guy, and now he's like, I'm sorry. Now his fans are mad.

They're like, what the fuck you doing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he fucked up. It's, it's- What a surprise, a guy named- Joey Swole. What a surprise, a guy calling himself Joey Swole fucked up in a dumb way.

Who ever would have thought that? Um, let's, uh, do one more and we're done. Okay. We're, we should, we, we dilly dallyed a lot though. There we go. Chris and Matt. Um, I got a pretty basic one for you guys, so I'll try and make it as fast as I can. So about a year and a half ago my girlfriend of a year and a half cheated on me and for some reason after all this time I'm still not really able to bounce back from it. I've been intimate with other girls since then but like I just can't seem to

bring my walls down like I did with her. And I'm starting to lose patience at this point and meeting new people is starting to feel like a chore. So I don't know if either of you guys have ever been through something similar and if you guys have any advice on that. But I just want to get your thoughts on it. Let me guess. Yeah.

Sometimes they just, you get that one that takes a while and that's the one that takes a while though. And then after that, you'll be good. And then you do the bounce. Ah, ah, this is the bounce back. Ah, what will y'all? I Think for a lot of guys there's there's like there's only room for one moment in their head and there's only room for one woman in their head and especially if that woman treats you like shit or cheats on you or whatever, you are like, you're hung up on it forever. What's gonna happen is there's gonna be some woman that comes along that is gonna make you

literally forget what that woman even looks like. It changes in an instant. Dude, you know what I have? I have homework for this guy. He probably hasn't seen it cause he's young. Watch the movie Swingers, bro. It's like legit, exactly what'll happen to you. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I know what you're talking about.

It's such a good movie. It's maybe my favorite movie And it's so good and you should watch it do it and and you'll identify with the John Favreau part And then you'll just fucking this is the bounce back watch will y'all so white That's how he said I do feel feel for you. I mean, yeah, it's a long time ago and it sucks to have that still sucking. I will also say though that you're not helping yourself by being hard on yourself for not letting it go.

You're either going to let it go or you're not. That's good advice. And the only thing that you can do is guarantee that you will make it last longer and continue to hurt more extensively by being like, what the fuck? Why can't I get this fucking asshole out of my head? Just fucking go, keep going. Just keep going, you'll meet some girl.

You will, I'm not exaggerating. You will literally forget what this woman looks like. Yeah, yeah, true. The day you meet this new person. And we all live in a simulation anyway, so it doesn't matter, but yeah, it's great. Unplug yourself, it's all good. You're in the Nebuchadnezzar, it doesn't matter.

So it's all good. All good. All right, dude. Good luck. I feel for you, but I promise you. Look at you, dude, what the fuck? I hear you, you're hurt, but look at you Yeah, you got a butthole chin. You're good People pay for those. Yeah, congrats my man

Beautiful guy. All right. We love you all. Thanks so much sign up for the patreon patreon.com slash life of luxury Oh and oh, oh, oh getting poked patient comm slash Matt. Oh, oh Oh, it's beautiful. Oh! Getting poked and loved it. Be bragging is gay. A lot of different membership levels. Oh!

You can even have it for free if you want. If you want to just watch the show live. Oh! Get in there. What a fucking asshole. Oh.