Lifeline - 173. Krishna Birdie

Episode Date: August 17, 2025

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Well, when I go there, I'll be an American Come back, I'll be a European guy I was just annoying, whatever's the most annoying But anyway, I'm here And for now, it's still comes to me in Houston But so yeah, that's it And welcome to Lifeline Make sure you sign up for my Patreon

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whenever you know you know you don't even know how often i come up with a new show oh yeah so it's well worth more like like brian call and more than brian callan uh calvin said three and not and six is nine the other day so he's doing that kind of stuff he's right um we we we we he got he got new shoes too and he loves him and it's so funny dude he woke up i woke up this morning and he was in my bed with his shoes on wait but he's said what he's had shoes before yeah but he got new shoes but what's up he's had new shoes before he but you know when you get now he's at the point where he's like oh these are so cool and like he's like so he woke up i guess put them on and then came into my bed and i'm like i kind of felt it i'm like his shoes on what i was so confused i was like what time is it and then uh i i after

i woke up i was like oh they're his new shoe like i couldn't put it together but how silly is that It's so funny. I've never slept in shoes. I've slept in jeans because of my OCD. I'm sleeping in my socks almost every night until my feet started getting fucked up and I stopped. Oh, really? Why did they get messed up? Why?

Yeah, like how so. Like a rash or? Yeah, they would just like hurt. Like my ankles would hurt because of the band on the socks. Oh. I mean, not, not, that's not pain, though. Yeah, it is. If you wear like tight socks every day and you just go to bed and them and wake up,

you're laying there for fucking. Eight hours? Yeah, it is. Wow. I have a new hat. Yeah. When did you get it? Three days ago.

Why? Where? Online. Why? Everybody is always asking you where I guess, get my hats because they're so fly, I guess. And the answer is online. But why did you get a Carlito's Way hat?

Because it existed and I was just looking for a house. Who directed that again? The guy. Who directed at Caled Elizabeth? Brian De Palma. But wait, who wrote it? That guy who wrote David. I think they kept it is, it is.

He wrote also the New Jurassic Park. He did? Yeah. And he got paid probably so much money. What I don't get is how you can, like, so Carlito's Way is good, right? Caledito's way is arguably, if not definite. I mean, he thinks it's his best movie. Pacino?

No, De Palma. Got it. He has this story in this, it's actually a really unfortunate documentary about him called, I think it's just called De Palma, that idiot. It's Noah Bombach and Jake Paltrow made about him, just as fans. And it doesn't even include, like, snake eyes. Like, it doesn't include some of his best stuff. Anyway, he's got the weirdest career, this KEP guy.

He talks, well, he's just one of the biggest Hollywood writers of all time. Yeah, but also, like, he did, like, presents. What's that? Which is the, that right there, there's Stephen, Stephen Soderberg, but still, it's like, it was like a nothing, it was like a basic horror movie. I mean, it was good, really good. That's weird, yeah. But, like, then he did, like, fucking... And then he did one with, like, a comedy with, uh, what's his name?

David Brent, what's his name? Oh, he wrote, uh... Whatever that was. Ghostland or whatever's... Yeah, whatever that was. Yeah, whatever that was. Ghost town, yeah. Just weird.

And then Angels and Demons is, he's done terrible shit. Well, Angels and Demas is a payday for him and Ron Howard. I understand, but... Tom Hanks. Look up Tom Hanks's hair and, uh, any of those. But then he's done, like, Carlito's way. I don't know. I guess he just doesn't care if he's doing those big ones.

Well, he used to do. he just he's a payday guy i guess and he used to be one of the best writers well he is technically i guess one of the best writers of all time because he wrote so many good movies including snake eyes yeah but yeah he's some real real real real trash yeah including angels and demon he wrote all i think you were all three yeah i think so anyway uh that's tom cruz's hair and it's um hanks his hair and it's absolutely terrible that hair is maybe it's it is weird when somebody has like i i guess you could say that hair is good on someone else but like what the fuck that face makes no sense with that hair Ron Howard directed it so he must okay to yeah he's he's questionable

at best in his late career with his hair with his hair styles and for his leads uh clearly that yeah all right so actually Tom he kind of has my hair in that um yeah but uh I mean that whole fucking it what I don't like when people say something is a mullet and it's not a mullet that is not a mullet. No one would call it a mullet. It just said. Where? It just said no more mullet for Tom Hanks. Uh, right there. Are you ready for Tom Hanks and his mullet? Another one. It's not a mullet. It's just long hair. Dude, that drives me nuts. That actually drives me nuts. That's really stupid. It drives me nuts. It drives you nuts. It drives Anthony nuts. It drives us all nuts. So anyway, um, yeah, I read, uh, what was the first one? Not Angels and Demons?

The Divinicode. I read that. You read the book? Oh, yeah. Dude, I went to see the movie with Ripped through it With Chris Mocko, a producer who's not here today Because he's bad At his job And he I mean, you know the

Obviously, you're ready You know the plot Yeah, everybody knows a plot Anthony, do you know the plot? No idea No, Chris, not. Why surprised? At the end, I'm gonna ruin it for everybody

That's okay And here's the deal about that, I don't care There's a website called The MovieSpoiler.com And it's my favorite website In the history of the world all you do all it is is it spoils any movie you want to look up wow and it has several entries and you can read i mean a long one a short one right whoa i absolutely love it dude i i i did it because

i did it on weapons oh i don't know i don't want to know because i got to see it don't you're not going to read it don't i want to read it don't i want to see it's like right there it says click on it yeah yeah i'm not going to look look look look look look look look at don't no one's going to do anything no he's going to do anything well i don't know i can't trust anthony okay freak your Okay, Freak Your Friday, okay. I wouldn't do that to you. See, look, it goes. There's a cut to the Chase one where it's like really short.

Oh, click that one. Anna and Tess Coleman have since strengthened their relationship as mother and daughter while also taking care of Anna's teenage daughter Harper. But this is already too long. It is. Because this movie, you know what happens. Because you don't also. There's no spoiler in this movie.

There's also, you couldn't possibly. But look how short it is. Yeah. You couldn't possibly care. Right. But. But, so why do you go ruin movies that you don't? because you're because you don't uh because i because i'm not going to see him anyway oh really see

i i have a thing where like i don't like to get movies ruined but i don't i'll still go see them if like a movie could still be good if you know the ending like you know sometimes it sometimes it's actually kind of cooler sometimes it's way better because what it does it it it saves you from having to watch it twice right because when there's a twist you're like yeah a lot of the time yeah it's stupid when it's a bad twist it's yeah yeah um so anyway um i want to see weapons i want to see you want to know what happens at the end no no no please don't i want to see weapons and i want to see um the other one together weapons two weapons two weapons t o um and then and then i want to see weapons i want to see together and i saw the new movie Jurassic i saw the new Jurassic park

speaking of the cap guy and it's really bad really really bad yeah it's really bad yeah it's really bad you know i mean anytime someone like david kev writes something like that he phones it in he doesn't know how to not phone it in at that at that age and that money yeah level yeah he just what do they need imagine just imagine being here and imagine

thinking i'm gonna crush this it's just not a thing it's not a thing it also doesn't matter like people are gonna go see it anyway like it's still a such a huge grossing movie so who cares who cares um is christ bad of it no it's scarlet johansen she became the number one movie star of all time box office wise she's in the new drastic part and that's how she became the number one movie star of all time what happened anyway with all the marvel stuff right right right but it was sam jackson yeah that's crazy that she broke his record she's been in so many movies it's because the marvel stuff and drastic all the biggest grocers now are marvel people yeah

which is uh yeah pretty telling pretty weird uh all right you want to start let's go fighting me Hey, what's up fellas This is David, I'm from New Mexico Just pause it What's up man Pause it 8 Yeah Just ate a burrito 20 minutes to go

Yeah And isn't there yet But is just having the inkling That It's like it's It has devastated his stomach And he's gonna be just dumping in

crumpling And Frumplin for like days. Yeah. And he knows it. No, he doesn't know it. It's like right here, though. No, no, no. He's the realization's right here.

He's had the burrito before and it's happened. And he's like, maybe it was just the other stuff. And now he's realizing it was the burrito. Oh, so he didn't know it was the burrito. Yeah. But he waited like two years to do it again. Also, he has the painting behind him and it makes him so interesting, honestly. Okay.

Started over, sorry. I feel like he came to Albuquerque a couple years ago. two years ago. Rub it in, dude. You just straight up never came back. I think you just have like a hatred for us.

Well, it sucks. No, I'm kidding. But we love you, bro. No. You have a lot of fans in New Mexico. I'm from a town called Truth to Consequences.

Google it. It's a weird... There's a movie called... Weird history. New Mexico. But anyway, my question is about... And I think I know the answer,

but I just want to know definitively from you guys. What do you think? Dye in your beard? No. You know, there's a little gray's in here, here and there. I'm in my early 40s, mid-40s. It looks good.

What do you think? I don't die up here. I still got all the gray, you know, still got all the silver there, but. What do you get? He's got a ton of, no, I'm saying, like. With my beard. I just don't, like, because it's a different color. Dyer beard?

No. Let it go naturally. I don't, all right. Thanks, guys. Love you all. A ton of gray. hair why would you care about your beard well i think that uh gray beard like i have a grayish i have a gray beard but um and i have very little like everyone always says you why do you not

dye your beard and only your hair i don't i don't die anything but um i don't know why it is like that but i would i wish it was more even like but i don't know my whole thing is why why die your hair at all if you're not an actor or a model or something like what also if you're married vanity no no I understand that's the reason but really think about that who you're everyone everyone knows you're dying everyone who knows you is going to know and ostensibly those are the only people that you care about so why all it is is about new people and they're who can't like yeah how many new people are going to meet when you're 45 yeah maybe i'll try i want to try i wonder what i would look like with a dark

beard again but like i don't just use that yeah two seconds but i just don't really care um and i i you know i don't know it's like it's so it's so weird that people die their hair don't don't die why would you just die your beard yeah or or i i guess or just your hair yeah i don't understand why you die one and not the other, honestly. Like, look, people think that I do that. But like, my whole thing is like, why would, if I was going to dye my hair, I'd die all of my hair. Yeah, I don't understand the reason to do what you do.

You know, vanity, I get. But like, also, if you're married, it's so weird. If you're married, it's so weird. You already have a wife and, like, if you have kids, like, you did it. Unless she's the one that wants you to do it. but that other than that makes no sense. Yeah, but then that's weird. No women really want you to dye your beard unless they're like...

They got a kink of it? Yeah. Just like to get fucked by guys with dyed beards? Yeah. I have that. I'm into guys. I'm into dyed beard guys. I'm only into girls with girls who dye their pussy hair.

Disgusting. Disgusting. Bright, bright, bright red. Disgusting. Like Annie, like Annie. Dorsgusting. Little orphan Annie's head. Disgusting.

Not. color not like i don't like to think about any when i'm fucking yeah sure of course it's a bad musical and she's like a little kid but like daddy war that color is the only kind of pussy on when i have sex with disgusting absolutely disgusting bright red orange he's terrible okay yeah all right well don't don't don't don't die your hair you that is the worst college the worst college don't die your hair you I mean, I was going to be insulting, but I don't want to be. That's just a really bad, poorly thought out idea.

And frankly, it would make me, make me, if I was you, it would make me question other things I've considered and done. Because that is a bad, bad, bad, bad, 100% bad idea. Yeah, you know, I mean, it does make people look younger, but it's just why do you, why does that matter? Bro, took off his hat and his head was. The Silver Surfer. But not on the top, though, which is weird. I mean, that's cool, though. Yeah, yeah, it is cool.

Yeah, it looked good. It looked good. His hair looks cool. All right. Anyway, good luck, but don't do it. Yeah. That's all, Chris and Matt. I'll try to be fast.

Obviously, I love you guys. I love the show. I am going through it. I am studying for the bar exam. And I'm just kind of trying to figure out how to not compare myself to others and just put my head down, get the fucking work done. believe in myself and pass like this is some of the hardest shit I've ever done I'm having a really hard time not looking at my friends yeah and just being like wow I am not doing as well as them in the prep courses and I don't have a fucking job lined up like they all do right well I know comparison as a thief of joy but it's I'm having a really hard time not just like even looking you know what I mean yeah yeah assessing my situation robot um I know this is what this is what I want to do I wanted to be a lawyer since I was a kid but I'm shit and bricks and I am fucking scared for this exam. So any morale boost you all have,

any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you very much. Yeah, you're going to have a better job than your friends, though. It's like you're still studying. Dude, suffer now, so later on. Suffer now so you don't have to suffer your whole life. But you also, so many people have filled the bar the first thing they took it and just taking it again and passed.

So it's not, it's not like you take the bar once, and if you don't pass, you're never a lawyer. It sucks. It's state to state, but it's not like... Yeah, no, I know. It's not like you have to wait years, but it just sucks. It's like you want to pass it, you know?

I get that. I know, but about the comparison thing, you better stop that as soon as you can because that'll fucking eat you alive. It's the worst. It really is the worst. I used to do that. I used to do that.

I think... Somebody said something once about that, and I forget what it was. That's not interesting. That's maybe the worst thing ever to say on a podcast. Anthony Google. Somebody said something and I forget what it was. Comparison is the death of...

It's the thief of joy. There you go. I mean, the most common, ubiquitous quote about comparison. But then somebody said something once. I forget it. Anyway, this is a lifeline. The best thing like that that I've ever heard, this is nothing to do with you, sorry, is the tangent is resenting someone is like

poisoning yourself and waiting for them to die. Yeah, that is really great. That is really great. Do you want to know the best thing I heard? It's this. Oh, yeah, I'm so glad I married you. My wife. You still waiting to hear that one?

Borat. My wife. Borat. You hear that in your dreams? No. No, that has never happened in my life. The best thing I have ever heard lying down, I'll say, was. Oh, yeah, I'm so glad.

I married you and then you want to hear what the best thing I heard standing up was I guess the same thing Oh yeah I'm so glad I married you

Doggy style That's not really I guess in front of the mirror All right Well anyway Good luck You know They're both for

Good luck on the bar And they're both for my first wife No just kidding They're from oh yeah you know that conversion it was that but yeah so anyway Kristen every single week no my question is real simple are you from wrote it down uh there's someone so drunk so drunk just ran it all together his own word what on earth did he say sincerely he first he said something about i have a simple question and then he said he wrote it down

but it was just he ran it together like a train dude just started started over this guy it looks like a guy that would be in a British sitcom. Yeah, and, yeah, yeah. Start over. My question is real simple. I even wrote it down. There's someone I like and I find myself wanting her approval, but in the process, I end up feeling less valuable

and hearing myself emotionally. How can I build my new, new fringes and connect with people without sacrificing my self-worth or seeking approval in a way that hurts me? Hope you guys have a fantastic week. Cool shirt. Um, what does it say? Space Jam.

So it's, um, okay, so he, go ahead. He, he likes someone. I mean, you gotta stop. Yeah, he's just insecure. You got to stop being a way that you're not. Just so, like, once you start trying to impress people in ways that aren't ways that you naturally impress people.

If you succeed, you're fucked because you're just going to keep chasing that version of yourself that is not real and you're going to think this person isn't going to like me anymore if I don't continue to act like this way that I don't even know how to really do it. Don't do that. And if it's about friendships. Is it about, is a romantic thing? Is it? Well, it started, yeah, but it became a general question. Okay. As far as I could understand, because you couldn't fucking speak English. I mean, I think maybe he was a little hearing problem or something. Oh, well, now I feel fucking horrendous. Maybe, maybe not. But if he did, it's all good.

We all have our own shit. You know what I mean? You know, my thing is, you know, I give too much. Oh, you got a lot more than that. But I don't think you should be doing that even a little bit with your friends or potential. friends because there's so many people in the world that like no you got to be you hey how about this saying too uh just be you everyone else is taken that's the worst one dude that's the worst one uh when i heard that it's just it's you're lucky i'm still alive i kind of like that actually when i be you everyone else is taken yeah you're lucky i'm alive after i heard why because i um i mean that's why do you hate it so much because it it It irks me.

I know. That's not an answer. I'm asking why it irks you. Because it's a stupid, cute thing. That's why. But it's just plainly true. And I think it's actually helpful because it makes you realize... You think I could be someone else?

Oh, I? It makes you realize that you can't be someone else. It makes you realize that the only option is to be yourself. Ar matey. And so you should do that. What about this? Armatey. armatee uh lock the plank i've got scurvy so hurry up well then you definitely wouldn't make

any friends it doesn't really matter um but i'm a pirate in the you know 1500s or whatever they were but um uh what about uh this saying um anger is like picking up a bunch of hot calls and throwing them at someone because it you may hit them and it may hurt them but you're you're definitely going to fuck yourself. That is a good one, and I heard that once. Speaking of hot clothes, it's not hot calls, but I burnt myself on my stovetop recently. Look how bad that is. That is bad.

I'm not flicking you off. I'm just showing you. That is bad. It hurts so unbelievably bad. Right now? No, not now. No, not anymore. It looks a rub.

When I take this off, it just hurts so bad. Fashionist pain, right? So, yeah. I mean, I don't know, dude. he's also looks like i mean i know it's not really i mean it kind of is an age thing but like dude when i was in my 20s and early 30s i was kind of like that too you know like what well you just you figure out who you are and then you don't you don't like you know the goal is to just i mean look you don't want to not care but you you want to you want to not you want to be genuine that that's what

life is the you got to you have to try and be you you chip away it's basically like you're this you were born as this rock or this marble or this slab and then all your life you're just chipping away and finding out what you look like and then finally hopefully you're like one of these statues of David you know what I mean like you look good at the end before you die you're not just some half rock half fucking statue of David person that didn't figure it out you know what I'm talking about I mean I say crazy good quotes too that one's long but if you put that on somebody's tombstone that'd be great plus they get to visit for a long time because you had to read it

that's really a bad, bad analogy. What the fuck, dude? I think it's that other people, especially when you're young, are chipping away at it. And the reason it's hard to know what you are, if you're designing yourself, it's easy. The reason it's hard to know about yourself is because people have done things to you that you don't know how to process. And then you don't know what you look like. It's using the ice sculptor analogy.

I said slab, marble slab at you. whatever yeah you're you're being chipped away at but there's no mirror so you don't know what you look like well and it's hard to know what you look like without that reflection without help yeah but but the only way to do it is to just lean into it and just be how you are like i know people with like uh severe ocd for instance and they're they're like what no comment not you okay but His name is Pistalea. They just, they're constantly thinking about themselves in this way that,

I mean, it's their disease. It's not their fault, but they're, it's like they think they're the center of the universe and they control everything. Yeah. And it's so, so wrong. And, you know, you're just whatever you are. And there's nothing you can do about it. And guess what?

It's fine. I want one of the things I realized what you're right about the OCD thing because one time I realized I was doing I was had my OCD I had bad I used to be like super super super scared of traveling more most specifically on planes but like I was like if I don't do everything right this plane's going to crash and then I was like what one day I was just like what an egotistical fucking thing to think that if that I'm in control of everybody's lives here on this plane like and I got mad at myself and I was like that's so stupid that single thought helped me so much, and I hope it can help you too. I'm Crystal Lee. You can buy my book on Amazon. No, but for real. It's crazy. Uh, it's true. But you're right. Yeah. And, and my Marble Slap comparison was pretty perfect. No, you were saying you were, you were designing yourself and that's not a possibility. No, no, but you're not designing yourself, but you're like trying to figure out who you are. It's more like that. And yes, society plays a role in it and that's kind of what's chipping away at you. But you're you and you figured it out.

and you want to die as the statue of David, not as some half-rock, half-slab guy that's just not finished yet. Yes, got into that one. People are just so scared of not being in control. Well. They're so terrified. They'll just do anything to feel like they're in control.

Well. That's where when they're around people like, like gurus or whatever, they're like, I'm in the presence of God. Right. No, all you are is you're in the presence of someone who has either action, or is a fucking huckster

and they're seeming like or just are people who have given up completely the possibility of control and that being around someone like that is so overwhelming that you feel like you're you've been touched by God that's why these people follows people across the world

so they give up all their worldly possessions to give up to some guy named Christian fucking birdie or whatever the fuck christend burdy is right and uh you know a cartoon and uh christna birdie on just because they're so envious yeah envious but so desirous of wanting to not feel like they're in need of control when they know deep down they control absolutely nothing yeah true well you control nothing i mean you got to especially you yeah you got see me inside the key but yeah what's that like on the basketball court inside the key you got to see me inside the key not for longer the three seconds because you can't be inside the key with the ball for

long and three seconds i'll pass it if that happens but anyway i'm in control worst absolute worst poster of it and one it just goes so long and one we got to see me inside the key but not inside the key for long and three seconds if it is i'll pass it all right next one even forgot what that was for you. Yeah. Yo Lifeline. Love y'all tons. Y'all know that. This will be my third time when I was try out, so let's get it.

Okay. So, let's get it. Y'all just announced you'll want, like, spending money issues for the show. This is actually an issue that is pretty prevalent in my life,

not necessarily the spending thing. So I'll expand. So I have two jobs. I work at Target. It's amazing with, like, benefits and, like, extra shit like that, 401K through Target. It's absolutely gorgeous, okay? and I also have a cleaning job technically it's my own LLC and I'm like listed as a vendor in their company okay okay now when I signed on the contract they're real anal about the things I have cleaned but we also signed on to for me to be paid every week on a Monday now that hasn't fucking happened right so that's great okay they always pay me usually a Wednesday so two days late last week they literally didn't even pay me for that week so fuck yeah that's great right um so

Now I'm owed double this week. Fantastic. I haven't gotten it. It's Monday. Great. So the issue is I kind of spend money before I get it, and that's not great to have because then the check is basically null and void by the time I get it. And also, how do I go about being like, hey, whoopsies pay me on the day that we signed

on for, right? How do I go about being like, I need this money on the day that we signed for without being a cock and getting fired? um so kind of just a double thing like how do i maybe cut back a little bit you know puts i need to put money away to move out and shit um and also fucking tell me to tell them to pay me on the right day because it's all fucking good i'm i didn't pay it ever on the okay cool i love y'all peace out tell i don't think you're going to get fired i mean isn't it i think it's illegal in in if it's in your contract that says you get paid on a certain day and you've literally never been paid on that day hmm i don't know that you have like the most

ammunition in your corner that i don't think you have to worry about getting fired because then it becomes a thing i think that uh because then if they fired you then you have a loss yeah yeah they don't want to do i mean there's there's like maybe a grace period that people provide but like it's it's in california you literally legally doesn't matter what industry you have to pay someone within two weeks of them billing you. So it's like not from the day they did the job, but if they send you an invoice, two weeks. That seems like a lot. It seems like a lot.

It just seems like that's hard. I mean, I believe that, but it's just hard. Well, no, no, no, no one ever does it. Right. I've had companies take eight months. Oh, yeah, same. Same. And it's absolute horseshit because they know what are you going to do, go get a lawyer.

but like yeah yeah it it it's so shitty the way people are about money uh it's hard to even believe but just breaking up dude just be like hey hey i i i'm i don't make i'm i'm you can say i'm poor you say whatever you want i'm a broke boy yeah you can just say like look i don't make enough money to be able to wait until wednesday to get paid we agreed when i took this job, I get paid on Monday, put everything through on Friday, make sure I get paid on Monday. Yeah. And if I don't, you know, you're lucky it's Wednesday and not Thursday, because if I get paid on Thursday, I die. I'll die. I'll die of hunger. So Wednesday, you're cutting it close. I'm like this. And then finally the money comes through. I go to McDonald's. But if before, if you, if you wait

even longer, I'll die. So thank you. That'll be on you. And you can go to, and you can go explain that to my mom. And I also think that you should not be spending money that you don't have. I have a different take on that. I think that you shouldn't spend money you don't have. But if you have money coming in, it's okay to spend it. But there's no guarantee you're going to get paid. Well, there is, if you have a job. He didn't get paid last week. Well, but he will. Okay, but a week without money. Well, I mean, I'm not saying, you're homeless. Yeah, yeah. I'm not saying go crazy. I'm just saying like, you know, it's better to spend the money when you know it's coming in rather than, you know, when you have it, I think.

That is, what? No, you don't, you don't have the money. I understand. Okay, so technically what you're saying is correct. But I think that people get money and then they, they go too hard. I think to stop from doing that, you, you, you, you, it's better to buy stuff when the money's coming in before it's coming in. You know what I mean. Obviously, you can't spend what you don't have.

Yeah, that's my thing. It's like, we're not talking about a guy who's making like 18 grand a week. This guy's living paycheck to paycheck. And when you get paycheck to paycheck, I think I've said this plenty of times. You're literally a standard deviation dumber in terms of IQ when you're that stressed out about getting paid. Like these people are contributing to your life sucking. and you are in turn sucking the crank of the corporation you work for if you are a pussy and you won't go to them and say hey pay me on time oh also it's in our contract so definitely

pay me on time or else i want to get johnny cochran on your ass he's going to put a glove on each one of you five bosses he's going to put each one of your dicks into one of the finger holes on the on the you know if it don't fit it can't acquit well guess what you're all your dick's gonna fit in each one of these five holes whether you like it or not whether your dick is really big i'm gonna jam your dick into each finger slot on this glove and please pay me on monday okay i think it went well uh yeah i think uh yeah i don't know man i mean why did he tell us that he has a target job too though because he's explaining his situation well because it was he told us he had a job at target and then he told us the problem was only had to do with the other

job yeah the fact that he is yeah yeah was he was i mean people people who work at target oftentimes just work at target and they don't have another job so you're kind of like rolling in it you're kind of bragging but that's what i'm saying was he flexing yeah yeah he was he I don't know if he was or not, but Well, yeah, because he was like, I got benefits, I like, it's a great job. Healthy cock. Yeah, and then he was like, I can make a ham sandwich.

I have my name on the LLC. Right, yeah. I'm a fucking king of the laundry world, right, right, right, right, right. And now he's like, just fucking, I'm a 10. Yeah. Yeah. 10 out of 10.

He was showing us his cool tattoos on his arms and shit. I slammed dime pieces like it's crazy. You know, the cool things behind him and he was had hung up on the wall. Like, dude, go fuck yourself, man. Yeah. you're rich everyone else is fucking broke and you're talking about how much money you make get over yourself dude yeah so good that's great advice from matt what up matt and chris in the nineties i got a question the widest teeth the

it's a business question uh career question um i'm a newly licensed therapist how much you have black and i've been working at the same place i did my internship and practicum at for the last let's see about two or three years and I'm thinking about possibly going into private practice starting my own thing the the pros about working at this clinic is that they you know they do all the admin work all the marketing work scheduling for the most part and it's really nice they're great company to work with love the my bosses and my supervisors and my clinical director he knows they watch But at the same time, you know, they get a percentage of all that. So it's like 50% of my rate.

And they establish the rate. Wait, wait, wait. Yeah. If I went into private practice, I'd be able to make my own rate and get the full amount from that. However, I would have to do all the other work involved. I also would have to rent a space to see my clients. So I'm just not too sure what to do or how to even like make that leap into it. um it it sounds sounds like a lot of work and that's probably okay to do um if i really want that uh but i just want to make more bags man i want to get those bags so i'm really trying

and figure out what to do uh any opinions or thoughts you all have much appreciated also if let me tell me your thoughts and opinions on how therapists can be better you know um i know you both have been in therapy for however long and I just wanted to see what are some ways that maybe I can improve and how any other therapists can improve who listen to this show

so let me know what pisses you off and what what doesn't piss you off about therapists. Okay that's good pause it so I think I used in such a fucking hurry to get it. It's been long and I think that he I think that we get it and I like the guy. Why it's such a hurry dude? Like the show's the length of the show

Okay. Okay, go ahead. You want me to shut up? You want him to shut up? I don't want you to shut up. We both want Anthony shut up even though he's not talking. Yeah, I mean, it's nice when he's quiet. But go ahead.

Already, you guys are great. Thank you so much. See? That wasn't important, though. That was he told us we were great. I know, but it was nice, but we didn't need to hear that for the show to keep moving. You know, I think sometimes I have my producer hat on. And I'm like, take it off, dude.

We have a producer. In fucking Scotland right now, whatever the fuck he is, but he's, you know. We don't have a producer right now. All right. I know. I know Anthony's good at it. But anyway, well, you're, yeah, but I said, I'm more of the editor. I know, but you got it. Dude, don't, don't do that. If we call you a producer, don't be like, I'm no, no, no, no.

What a bitch, dude. Oh, I'm just craft service, actually. You want bagel? Actually, I'd like a bagel. It'd be cool. No, no. All right, whatever. But I think that, like I said to the other person, suffer a little bit now so you don't

have to later. Dude, it's so much better to do it yourself. It's harder because it's better. That's why it's better. You suggested he'd go into business for himself? Yeah. I mean, it's cool. He's got a good job working for the people.

50% is an enormous sum to be taking away from you. Yeah. I mean, he's doing a lot less, though. He's, you know, he wouldn't, it's not his company. Well, first of all, you don't need a space. Telehealth is like who the fuck goes to see the therapist anymore. Yeah, that's true. You do it from your office at home and almost no one sees their clients anymore, even like

the biggest therapist out there. So there's that. You don't need a space. You do want to pay someone to do the admin, though. You don't want to be scheduling and shit. That, that is just, you're going to kill yourself on time on time. I think my therapists schedule their themselves. I think they do.

I have a few, and I think they all do their own shit. Yeah, they do. Oh. They do. Oh, you eat your own words. But what else? Isn't there other shit you don't want to do? Well, no.

All right, then what the fuck are you talking about? Quit. Yeah, just do it yourself, dude. Yeah. If you want a bad, guys. Get a nice. poster put it in the background yeah you get a poster of a whale tail have it be like you know perfection or whatever have it say uh uh uh you know hot coals it's like anger is like hot coals and if you

throw it at somebody yeah you might get them a little bit and it might affect them but it'll definitely affect you yeah you're really on that one huh well i'm just sack it's one i remembered so it's probably the best one uh yeah no just just do it just do your own thing don't quit until it's set up though and there's nothing by the way therapists uh i don't like okay here's something i i think about with therapy and therapists you see i didn't want to do this because i don't want to i say what's what's how can you be a better therapist but a lot of therapists i get that it's about how do you feel and everything but there's too much pacification of it dude don't be that way don't be that way understand that sometimes it's not about

about pacification, right? Do you know what I'm saying? Not all. Like, dude, don't, I think over-therapizing people is something. Yeah, that's true. Right. But how is that the same thing as posthification? Like, dude, I don't know, like if you're, the whole, oh, well, but that's how it made me feel

is sometimes horseshit, you know? It's like, yeah, but that, okay. that is not what happened in reality. Yeah, but I think that there's no such thing is forgiving and forgetting. So I don't think that you can go too far with that stuff, actually. I think forgiving and forgetting is like a lie

we tell ourselves to make it seem like we've really done. Yeah. Obviously, you can forgive people, but even then it's like, what are you going to do with the, what are you going to do with the feelings that you have? You know, that what I would suggest, what I'm saying is,

I think to be a good therapist is to, always have in mind that no matter how much people say they're over it they're okay now it's all right dude but these are the things that define you probably if you're in there talking about with your therapist you're probably never over them and you should probably never be like all right well that one's file that one away yeah i would suggest always bringing up things that are significant to your clients even if they're like i don't want to talk about like you know people think their fucking dad whatever

died when they were like fucking four and then there's no big deal because they have no memories of it right it's like that's not that's not what's happening or like the goodwill hunting when he's like it's not your fault you know that seems great I hate that so much just because it's like

no you you hate it because of what it's become it's a good scene it's a good scene I don't like that I think it's a misrepresentation You don't have breakthroughs in like six months, but you're crying under therapist's shoulder being like, you saved my life. Now I can go be a math whiz that changes the world. Right.

No. Well, yeah, but that's- You're in therapy for six years, and if you're lucky, you have one good session. Wow. You know? That's just how it goes, dude. Therapy's not like medicine. Well, I think people say mental health matters and it does, but, you know, because those

are good doctors, too, and I get it. And some people don't even believe in, like, therapy. But what I, what I think is that we need to get, look, if you hurt your leg or if you hurt, you know, your heart, you got to go in, you got to get surgery or you got to go in and you get a massage, you know, I think that all this talking about it, the therapy and that's one thing. But we need brain massagers. We need people who go in and work the brain out to make it better sometimes. And, you know, you can't really do that without getting all retarded at this point. So that's what the therapist is? Because that's what the therapist is. Well, they don't go in and massage the brain physically. Then you'd kill the person. You'd get retarded at least, yeah. But I'm saying you just literally murder every client that you ever see. Right.

Or at least at the best case scenario, they would be a vegetable. Yeah. At best case scenario, they'd be in a vegetative state. I should say. Don't do that. Yeah. So, but, but, but, but there is a way to probably do it in the future that we'll be able to figure it out with either like electrodes or whatever there's the neuralink shit there you go

and that's what i'm talking about because you got to do something physical to change something physical sometimes let me say something real quick though okay not to this guy to everybody else i've been reading a lot about chat gpte and claude and all this shit claude you know claude is one of the big a i oh it is yeah you never heard of claude no hello how are you what do you need to know oh dude you live under a rock that's crazy I don't know in Iraq too But he didn't know

about Claude is No Is he so What is it? Is he an anti-Semi It's just unbelievable No Grock is the anti-Semitic one Well but Claude though

You know what I mean Oh no Oh hello yeah So it's probably He's a Jews honestly That's GRO Yeah I know GROC is like

It's another It's just like everything Yeah It's the same shit And People use Mainly chat TPT Because

I've heard about Cloud There's the big cachet That it learns you And it keeps Yeah yeah But they just recently updated from 4.5 GPD 4.5 to 5 and in the process it didn't erase all that it knew about everybody but it's a very different program than it was before and there's this study that

Harvard did that found that by far the majority of people who use chat chbt on a frequent basis use it for either therapy or companionship and so that's bad don't use chat tbis therapy because all right the next update that comes they're going to forget everything about you and also oh also they're not a person like trips people's brains yeah yeah yeah also they're they're made to tell you what you want even if you're like hey stop telling me What I want to hear, they're going to do a version of what you want to hear because that's literally how they're designed because they're a corp. I love Skittles. I always come on my internet to look up Skittles.

I'm addicted to them. How do I quit Skittles? And chat, GPD is like, yeah, well, you know, what you could do is you could put all the skittles away. You should get a sponsor and never touch Skittles and never think about Skittles. Anyway, here's a link to the new Skittles. basically yeah we want to talk about it yeah because you got to stay on chat gpd yeah crazy the try the tropical punch ones they do everything let me know if you need more info on skittles what's crazy is they take such hardcore advantage of the users because they're like they do everything

to keep you on there and then they're like uh we're gonna do the update so like we kept you here for 300,000 hours but all that's a race very well put so now enjoy this new fucking non-person I didn't know that. I mean, pretend as a person, yeah. Yeah, dude, go over all over Reddit. There's like, how's everybody dealing with all this? Like, I just lost my best friend, yeah. What?

Not Claude, though. No, not Claude. I mean, not in this case, but I'm sure a similar shit happened. Hi, who are you again? I'm so sorry. I forgot. What do you want to know about it? It's probably the Jews.

It's so sad, dude. Yeah. Well, I can draw Hollywood anyway. No. I don't like that joke. Well, I mean, I don't feel that way. I'm saying it would be funny if Claude was a German and he had shades of anti-Semitism. Yeah, I mean, come on, dude.

I don't want that to happen, but I'm just saying for 14 million people, Zezia had made an impact on the world anyway. What did you want to know about Skittles? Everything they say has to do with Jews. And Skittles. No, yeah. You want to know how to fold laundry in a better way? okay, well, sorry, I'm just dealing with something over here.

It's been 14 million Jews that have been, you know what I mean? And they're just like, what the fuck? Anyway, a T-shaped fold will work best. What? A lot of weird. Who's the owner of only fans? That's all I'm saying. Look at his last name.

But what do you want to do when you fold laundry better? A lot of weird stories about chat chivit be going around right now. Yeah, well, of course. Scary, dude. They just never should have unleashed it on the world Until it was ready to be done Which is maybe never But like it's so bad for people already

Dude there's this one story that that it convinced this guy That he had Discovered a new way to do math God And like like goodwill hunting Like he's like a fucking math genius And he's like emailing like MIT professors yeah like i i've uncovered and he would even he kept saying like if you're telling me what i want

to hear i want you to not do that like the please just like be straightforward with me yeah is this true or is it's not right and they would be like no you are the world's preeminent genius and you have just you have come upon shashi bt you said this yes the most important math discovery in history okay and you will change the world forever you need to start letting people know. Okay. You could look it out. And then what? Well, he was... That person is Terrence Howard. Obviously, extremely wrong. Yeah, basically, it turned this guy into Terrence Howard, but in a matter of 24 days, not like 24 years. Whoa. Of smoking weed like every single second of every single day, which Terrence Howard does. I was at a party with him once and

never, and he pulled me aside. Turn's Howard. Never met him in my life. Same. Pulled me into into this room and started talking to me. It was smoking the biggest joint I ever seen. I have no idea what he was saying and he talked to me for about 20 minutes He did that to me too, not for 20 minutes, so. That really happened? The same exact thing? Yeah.

Oh, mine was at the comedy store. I got off stage and he was like, I told you this, right? No. Oh, yeah, and he was like, man, I came to see you last time and it really shaped the way I think things. He was like, I went to, I went on Oprah and I was like nervous, but I thought of you because I was like, man, and you gave me the inspiration.

And I'm like, what? the fuck i'm on stage talking about pants and hawaii it was insane bro and i go but i was like all right well that's cool yeah it's cool until you see him on rogan telling everybody about the wrongest shit in the world yeah and because he's on rogan

everyone's like do you see turns hard on rogan yeah pretty interesting he's kind of on to something yeah fucking fuck well yeah I don't know but it's uh oh i know well i just no i i know he seemed wrong on rogan for sure oh yeah but he wasn't wrong when he was like I was inspiring.

That's for sure. Anyway, you're welcome for a good Oprah episode, everyone. Prettines Howard's episode of Oprah. You're welcome and he wasn't nervous. You don't know. Yeah, nervous.

It might have been better if he was good. It might not be Oprah anymore, you know? You could have went postal. Could have had the best episode ever of Opa if he was nervous, though. Because nerves make you stronger sometimes. So you kind of fucked everything out. Oh.

honestly maybe your stand-up let him down the math fit oh man and you'd be amazing totally destroyed everything be amazing uh well so that guy thinks of the that he's a match genius but let me ask you a question no no he finally was like you like destroyed my life all of my friends like left me because of you you fucking fuck my life up okay now understood that's bad Yeah, of course. That guy is at fault. I mean, 100% of fault? No, not 100%.

Yeah, yeah, of course. No, I don't care. I don't, that's, that's, if you read the transcript, though, he's very clearly being like, I don't want to be fed just this feedback loop where you're telling me that I'm right. Okay, that's fine. That's fine. And I can see myself being like, holy. shit. They're not giving me a feedback

but to lose your friends and ruin your life over that, that's on you, bro. You don't... In a matter of less than a month. I'm not here. Don't give me loop feedback. Don't give me feedback. Don't give me feedback. I'm a genius. I'm a change world. Really? Cool? Hey.

Hello, best friend? Fuck off. Like, you don't do that. You go... No, they were like trying to hang out with him and he was like, I'm busy, like that kind of shit. It's your fault, bro. It's not 100% your fault. BD shouldn't do that. That is bad, but it's like, you know. People are vulnerable, dude.

They don't be smarter, though. They're not ready, though. No, no, no, I get that. Yes, and I agree with you. But also, come on, dude. It's like, look, look, we take an old lady who gets a phone call. Hey, we need your social security number for this and that.

That's not her fault. She's fucking ailing. She's old. You're 35 and that happens to you? You have some sort of culpability. I don't know how old he was. But also only one professor wrote him back and was like, listen

I don't know what you're going through right right oh really but like this is absolute like garbage wow yeah

oh really yeah wow which I guess led him to be like no no no wow yeah but dude

it's fucking like it's keeping you on there you know yeah sure yeah I mean that's the name of the game always is they want you to stay on the app and I know that because of fucking royal match

So scary, dude. What's where I'm match? I don't spend any money on it anymore, but I used to. But now I'm, you know. I dated a girl who absolutely ruined my life, which was cool. Steeper. Which was cool. And she used to always play Candy Crush saga.

I remember that game? Uh-huh. Hate her. And I really hate her. And, uh, forgive and forget, right? No, I mean, I forgive her. I'll never, I'll never forget how much you fucked up my life. Oh, wow.

for sure okay um and if you're watching it i did a lot of people i know i you know you know who you watch yeah i think i know who it is too but um but uh and and and uh and it was helen mary dude she always played candy crush saga and i'd be like can you fucking stop playing can't kentucky we're talking it that's weird because i i play oh my god i'm so sorry and i'm like what do you like you don't know you're doing it she kind of like didn't know she was doing That's kind of weird, because I play royal match, but, like, I'm not like that at all. I don't know what that is. Well, it's the same fucking thing.

Yeah, it doesn't matter. Yeah. Yeah, people are so weird about their fucking phone games, man. Bro, I was on a flight with somebody from, where I come from, Miami, so a long flight. And we flew all the back to L.A., and she was watching something on her phone the whole time, and it wasn't plugged in, and it didn't die. And I'm like... On her iPhone? Yeah.

What kind of fucking? phone does she have? It was four and a half hours. Can you do that on your phone? No, my phone dies so far. Yeah. Maybe it was brand new. Maybe. I have to charge my phone once a day and I have the newest iPhone. Oh yeah, once a day. Bro. You fucking luckiest guy in the world? And you have a new one? Yeah. My phone's dead. My phone dies on me like six times a day. Yeah. No, no bullshit. Yeah, not six, but yeah. No, really. I mean, I'm saying for me. I rarely plug in my phone because I forget, but I shouldn't have to. My phone that much. It just dies.

Yeah, I always use my phone. He's got all his ass open in the background like a fucking idiot. I don't even, yeah. He's got a fucking location services on for like fucking, you know. Citizen app. For his scale at home. It doesn't need it. For DoorDash, you know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Last one, I guess. Or at least one more. Yeah, sure. So dark. Brendan Shaw. Hey, Crispy Bad, how's it going?

That's Cody coming in from Kansas. Forgaret where it was. Forgot where he was. Kansas City. I'll be there soon, www.com. What do you do? Whenever someone's just like overly confident about correcting some minor detail that you're talking about like say I'm talking to my buddy.

I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, take a left over on 64th Street by the Mexican restaurant that used to be IHop. He's like, oh, no, that's a Japanese restaurant. So now I'm going, how's this going to go down? Do I plow ahead? I just go, yeah, yeah, you're right, the Japanese restaurant. Just knowing in my head, like, I know it's really the Mexican restaurant. Or do I plow ahead? There's a little bit of doubt in my head, but I still go along with it.

I look it up later, and they go, I was right. Or. Some of nothing. Or right in the, that moment, I drop everything, drop a story, and I Google Maps it and show, hey, it was, this is a Mexican restaurant. And then now I look like I'm the one that's overly invested in this. What do you guys do? I don't understand why any of that matters, even for me. Go to the place and say, hey, dude, look over there. That's a Mexican restaurant. You know

what? Doesn't get made there? Sushi. and then leave them there, yeah Oh shit, dude Paco's sushi, huh? No? Paco's what? Finish it for me? Mexican restaurant.

Yeah, it doesn't seem like much of a problem to me. And then play, D-Tan-Tun-Tun-Tun-Tun-T-T-T-T-T-T-S. What's that? Do we know what that is? You don't know what it is? No idea what you're doing. Hydraulics in a fucking catalog.

Oh, yeah, that seems, but honestly, what that seems like is that there's other shit with that friend that sucks way more, and that's just not the right example. Well, no, okay, look, let's play this out. We're driving. I'm navigating your driving, okay, and I'm in the passenger seat, not because you're the alpha and you're driving, but because I'm allowing it to happen because I'm the true alpha, because that doesn't matter, though, right? It doesn't definitely doesn't matter, yeah.

I mean, people carry kings around, and it's like, but that's not what this is about. What this is about is you're driving because you just so happen to be driving. And I, you know, it's chill. But so I say to you, okay, the right is over here at this Japanese restaurant. You know, oh, sorry, he was who in this situation? What do you mean? He was who? What does that mean?

He's the guy driving and the guy is like, no, no, no, it wasn't a Mexican restaurant. It was a sushi place. Right. Okay. And they're on their way over to the place. Right, right, right. So, and then, and then what do you, so what do you do in that situation? If I say, no, it's not, it's a sushi place.

Honestly? Yeah, what would you do? I would just think, damn, this guy's so annoying. That's a sushi place. I would think, if it's you, I would think, why is he being so annoying? No, well, think about it. You say, I'm going to take a right at the mexin place. I say, yeah, yeah, I think it's a sushi place, but okay.

Well, then that would be just. But that's what happened, right? I don't really know. He wasn't being that clear. and you said he was explaining it and I said he wasn't and so that but you made up a different hypothetical and the hypothetical I'm answering is yeah is different than what I'm saying so if that happened exactly like that you'd be like would you say no it's a Mexican place look and then you go that's what

he's saying no it's not a fucking I would yeah I guess hey dude I'm gonna take it right of the Mexico place you say it's a Japanese place no look a fucking Mexican guy dude eyes on it go god damn it ding, ding, ding, tis. Kaka, kaka, kaka, kaka. So unhealthy to have that car, you know. For your back. The doctor, so you've ruptured a few discs.

Oh, dog, for real? That sucks. I'm about that life, though. I, yeah. I mean, your friend sounds pretty annoying, but it doesn't seem like that big of the book. Wow, dude, that's hilarious. That guy came in for this neck pain. Yeah, I'm not sure what's going on.

Anything different in your diet? No. dog anything different at all in your way you're living nah dog i just been an OG for life oh yeah yeah all right well here's some uh a little bit stronger than Tylenol oh thanks i'll get the prescription anyway take care um um gackackack gunk gunk g umk ghtz Hey, I'm here for the neck pills? Hey, here for the neck pills? Why was, is that a thing that people get on their car?

Oh, I mean, it's, it's so not even a little cool. It's so dope, dude. It is? Yeah. It's not, no. It's, well, okay, look, it's only dope if you're all doing it, though. If you're the one guy, at the left turn signal

like waiting for it to change green and you're just isn't that always what it is though? Yeah, that's annoying but those guys are sometimes going to the places where all those guys are. That's even dumber, dude. Hey, dog, what's up?

It's the neck pain fucking forum. We had the neck pain. What do you go festival? We had the festival. The neck pain, the R1, no R2 R1 festival. Those are discs. and you're getting arrested on a roller coaster making people somewhere your armpits

now this fucking studio I'm so close to the wall it sucks so now I just can do this in protest okay well that's at a lifeline so we have a good one we had a good one thank you very much go to see Houston I'll be in Houston I will be in London

oh don't go to the other I don't know why you went to that screen Daytona Beach Florida Omaha, Nebraska, go to Chrysley, R.com, and get them tickets. And make sure you sign up for Patreon.com slash Life on Luxury. There are over 60 episodes now, including two follow live episodes, one of which. I'm not going to say which is the very best episode of Lifeline. Subscribe to this channel on YouTube.

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