Lifeline - 185. Ask God
Episode Date: November 9, 2025LIFELINE ✨LUXURY✨ is available at patreon.com/lifelineluxury. Extra ep...isodes every month, no advice, all for $5. Our Patreon is also the exclusive home to all the live podcasts which we film and upload! 🤳 Want to submit to Lifeline? Go here: forms.gle/EYbqjvyy1A9r728Y9 🎧 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: apple.co/3NG2G2G 🔊 Subscribe on Spotify: spoti.fi/3NPUwoT 🔗 All our links: linktr.ee/watchlifeline Today we're talking about falling out with a carpool buddy and roleplaying. 🎰 Legendz Social Casino and Sportsbook. 100% match on your first purchase. (up to $100) legendz.com 💚 Lifeline is the first podcast about you, hosted by Matt D'Elia & Chris D'Elia. More LIFELINE: Instagram: instagram.com/watchlifeline Tiktok: tiktok.com/@watchlifeline More Matt D'Elia: Sign up FOR FREE For Matt's Patreon for all episodes of The Private Record and upcoming drops of Matt D'Elia is Confused Book 20 or 40 min one-on-one sessions with Matt at mattdelia.com. More Chris D'Elia: Congratulations podcast: congratulationspod.com Live on tour: chrisdelia.com/tour Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Hey, yo, what's up,
Lifeline, here we go, episode
1,000, it's Sunday, November 9th,
happy birthday to Ryan Murphy, Scarface, and Cisco, my favorite
My favorite trio.
I was just going to say my favorite trio of all time.
That's the Maud Squad for me.
That's, to me, that's, you know, it's Scarface and Cisco, great.
But once you add Ryan Murphy into that, it becomes immediate sensational.
Say hello to my little gay thong, right?
No, I don't think so.
I tied them all together.
Yeah, no, I know.
But that doesn't necessarily mean it's good, right?
No, it doesn't.
Yeah, because, you know.
Say hello to my little gay thong.
Right.
Because bananas don't go good with, like, you know.
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you want to check it check it out uh you want to check it out the patreon you check it out our patreon
patreon.com slash life on luxury. It's five bucks. You got like 70 episodes or plus,
70 plus episodes for five bucks. Get in here. There's live episodes. Have you seen them yet?
They're great. I'm on tour. I'm going to be in a bunch of different places. I'm going to be
in Chicago, Kansas City, Omaha. Actually, I'm in Hamilton, Ontario tonight, I think.
Yeah, tonight. Jacksonville, Florida, Cleveland, Ohio, Detroit, Oxnard. God, time just
keeps going, huh? San Antonio, Texas. And I got, that's New Year's. So come celebrate with me,
and I got a bunch of new dates coming up soon here. Speaking of time, just keeping on coming.
New Year's Eve, baby. What? Sorry, I didn't mean to talk over. Well, you did, but it's all good.
I said, did you say time just keeps going? Yeah. What a, what a great observation. And then what
a great observation to echo back. Dr. Strange. Dr. Strange. That's it. You say time just keep going?
Watch this. That's what you think. Um, obviously.
What the hell you check with I? Why would you check with me if I said that?
I didn't hear you. I wanted to see if that's what you said.
Oh, that's what he said. I didn't hear the word you said, which I heard blank just keeps going.
Gonna kick his ass after the show. Obviously, subscribe to the YouTube channel, super good.
And just as obviously sign up for my solo Patreon, patreon. patreon.com slash Mantellia.
It is a effing partay. And anyone who's a member can attest to that. So I'm not.
not a liar. I don't fib. I don't bust balls. I bust, but I don't bust balls about it.
And that's that. What do you want? And then, uh, you know, other stuff like merch. Get it. Lifelinemerch.
Lifelinemerch.com. Well, yeah, what do you want to hear about? Uh, I got so much information and also
experience. So. And also, you know, we haven't seen each other in a few days. And I think we should
clarify the difference in
the amount of clothing we're wearing.
It is cold in here.
It is. So I'm bundled up and you
have a T-shirt on. What's up? Oh, my
body's a factory.
Poetry. John Mayer.
Body is a factory. Blue-collar
John Mayer.
John Mayer trying to be MAGA.
Oh, dude.
Yeah.
Does you know him?
Yeah.
what's this
I know everyone
what's he like
I mean I know
I haven't talked to him
a long time
I know a lot of people
I know a lot of people
what's he like though
he's cool
he like loves comics right
yeah yeah yeah yeah
and once I went through my thing
I think he got scared
so I haven't heard from him anymore
oh wow
but his body's orderland
so
yeah
I
sounds like he's the mayor
of being a pussy
no that's who knows
but I don't know
no he's a good guy
he seems like a good guy
he does
but I
oh yeah so it is cold in here
but my body is
it's just really
moving you know what I mean
but you're cold though
so what do you mean? I haven't even thought about it because
it's been go go go I took Calvin to school I went to the gym
I got my shake I drove here fast
when we started before we started the show you literally said
oh cool it's cold well the air was on and now it's
not. Okay. And that's it, that's just down to brass tacks. That's exactly what happened.
I guess what I was getting at is when you said my body is a factory, did you mean it is impermeable
to weather or cold? Well, well, no, what I meant was it, it's firing really on all cylinders right now.
And if I need to be warm, it'll warm itself up. How's your brain feel? Great. Better or just
because it usually feels great? Better what? What do you mean? Better than before you started doing your
stupid diet shit. Oh yeah. And I realized something. And on the,
By the way here, I realize something.
The physical really helps the mental.
And I know everyone says it's all mental.
It's all mental, dude.
But it's kind of all physical.
It's 100% physical.
Mental is physical.
Yeah, no, but that's what I'm saying, though.
But everyone always only says it's all mental.
I'm agreeing with you.
Nobody ever says it's all physical.
No, you've got to move the leg before you think about how to get in shape.
Right.
I mean, you have to think to move the leg.
But I understand.
Not really, no.
you got to think to move the leg.
Well, you don't think, you don't consciously think,
but your brain's firing.
But anyway, I'm saying that's physical, though.
Yeah.
To me, the brain is the physical.
It's just like we think of ourselves as our brains,
but we're just our bodies with our brains as well.
Well, anyway, this is getting away from me,
but what I'm trying to say is when you're in physical movement
and I don't want to say tip-top shape, you know,
you don't have to be, I don't know if you have to be,
but it makes the
it makes the mental go
it's all physical baby dude
and like and like knowing that is
dope and I have back pain
and guess what I started to do
don't care
oh I have a relationship with pain
hi how you doing come come on let's go
once you hit a certain age all aboard
I have a relationship with pain all aboard
once you hit a certain age you're 55 now so it makes sense
I'm not I'm way younger than that I'm 45
but it doesn't but but like
you know what I mean I see one national
geographic episode with Chris Hemsworth about his relationship with pain. And I change, dude.
I change. Oh, wait, dude. He's going through a thing, right? Kind of, yeah. I mean,
he's more susceptible to getting something or something. No, he's got a degenerative thing.
It's like all sad. No. Am I wrong? I don't think it's that. No. I think he's got a gene that makes
him more susceptible to something. And he's like, if I get it, then, you know, I want to take time with
my family. I don't think it's as sad as that what you're thinking and saying.
Oh, that's good.
I mean, there's a lot of Hemsworth.
I guess we don't need that many.
It wouldn't be that much of a tragedy if we lost one.
No, it would be, especially that one, dude.
I mean, he's in 12 strong.
What is that?
A Netflix movie, probably.
Yeah, but so anyway, he's, you know, handsome and all that stuff,
and he's got something, but he did the National Geographic thing, and I saw it.
And I go, oh, oh, dude, shake hands with pain.
Oh, okay. Yeah, I have pain. Does that mean I'm going to stop doing all this stuff? No, absolutely not. I go harder. I go harder. Hi, Payne. How you doing? All the board? Hey, dude, let me put arm around you. Let's do this together, Payne. Oh, it's great. And so the physical moves my mental. So my mental is top notch. I basically work out my mind.
Okay. I mean, there's ways to do that without actually being at the gym, though, too. Do you do that?
Dude, my job is firing my mind.
But do you, like, meditate and stuff?
What?
No.
Why did you laugh like that?
Maybe I'll get into it.
Okay.
I just haven't done it yet.
I wasn't calling you out.
I know, no, no, I know.
I know.
I just, I haven't thought about meditating yet.
I have meditated before in a group setting.
Just tasted something?
But I don't know if, I don't know if I will.
I might.
Meditation is nice.
I used to meditate every day for years, and it really, really helped me.
And then I just got out of habit, and I haven't in so long.
And every time I think about starting again, I just don't, I don't know what is stopping me.
It really was very helpful.
How long did you do it?
Like at a time?
It would grow in time, but at first, like, literally 10 minutes a day.
And then over the years, it would become like 30 to 45.
five minutes a day.
What?
Yeah.
You just sit?
You sit?
I mean, a lot of people already know this, but you sit and everybody kind of has their own way
and their own guide or whatever.
But yeah, you just like, you close your eyes.
Ideally in a place that you're not going to fall asleep, like you don't lay down.
Right.
So sit up kind of straight with your legs crossed maybe.
Driving.
Yeah.
And, uh, meditate for a long time after that.
You just kind of pay.
extra attention to every single sensation you breathe like the same way or the repetition of the
breath allows you to clear your mind and then you're hearing things like a buzzing TV or a voice
off in the distance but it's not like you're attaching anything to it's like going yeah i always think
of it as like you're you become in my mind the way i would think of it it's like you kind of become
a screen door instead of like a sealed door the closed door it's like you're getting
the sensation but it's going through you instead of getting stuck in you which i always have
struggled with hmm huh cool yeah yeah i'll try it i've done it like for a few minutes and i've also
done it in group settings it's hard when you start yeah i mean it feels like bullshit yeah it feels like
what the fuck is this you know yeah yeah you know it looks like a lot of things yeah yeah but i also
go like when i'm i don't know i have things that take me out of my head but that's not the same
Anyway, all right, yeah.
Well, I feel good.
I have a relationship with pain.
Did you bend that way because you're backwards?
You bent kind of like tender.
No.
I mean, so obviously did, you know?
If I did, I did it because I have a relationship with pain and it's fine.
Ah, stop saying.
But I didn't.
Yeah.
But I did it.
All right.
So let's get into it.
We'll have a good time and let's go.
Let's go.
Chris and Matt, you guys are the tits.
Am I an asshole?
I have this co-worker.
We hit it off when we first met, good buddies.
He offered me rides because we live close to each other.
So it's not like any hassle on his back.
Sure.
But it was soon after that, I realized he is insufferable.
He never stops talking or never stops cracking Joe.
that are hysterical to only him.
He knows Brian Cowan.
And I don't know what to do at this point.
And I'm avoiding him at work and at lunch
and basically just like using him for rides,
which I don't know, I feel like an asshole.
Should I tell him the truth?
Should I just stop accepting rides and just take the bus?
Or, I don't know.
Love you guys.
Chris, I'll see you in November and Matt.
I see you in my dreams.
Oh, yeah, I do.
Nice.
See me, I can be in your dreams too.
if you want.
I'll see you in your dreams.
Take the ride, dude.
I mean, if it's that,
if he's so insufferable,
the ride sucks,
then that's a different story.
But if you can handle the ride,
he obviously likes it.
You don't need to confront him.
If you're avoiding him successfully at work
when you're there,
and all you have to deal with
is the ride to and from home,
and he's giving it to you for free,
and that is useful to you,
and you can,
it's tolerable enough.
Don't bring it up with them.
Avoid him at work.
take his rides he's getting more out of it than you why why mess up the equilibrium why is he
getting more out of it than you because he gets to talk to somebody who yeah clearly needs to
oh but some guys just are motor mouths but you know you know people I'm sure who you'll be around
them and you'll be like oh that guy doesn't get to be around enough people because they don't
sure okay yeah but I also know people that are just motor mouths and it's like what the hell
I don't care about your trucking business in the end it doesn't matter though
if the ride is the value of the ride
outweighs the annoyance of the experience of the
but I mean if you get in a car and somebody's like
and you and it's the morning and people are just like
yeah so bam I've been watching this show and this and that
and I got to and you go oh my God dude
you go I mean what do I do I say bro I'm tired I'm going to sleep
if you want me to wake I don't know
I I I it's hard for
people who are gonna you're gonna see him every day it's hard for you because you work with him but like
i think it's okay to be like yo man no disrespect i'm tired i don't want to talk i don't want to listen
i i got to get i got to get to work i think what i would do if i really i don't know if i do
that but i might if i was really gonna i would do what i said i was going to do but if i was
gonna do anything i would just in the car say it's crazy it really is crazy how much you like talk
Like, do you ever think about that?
Yeah.
You know?
Like, in a totally non, like, it upsets me way.
He might take it a certain way, but if you don't mean it that way, he can't really, like, get defensive about it.
But he is upset about it, though.
So, technically.
Not necessarily.
Oh, he's annoyed.
You think it's rude just plainly to ask that?
No, I just think that he's going to take it a certain way because it is a certain way.
So you do think it is a certain way, which is what?
annoying and there's no way to be like
gotcha you know he's gonna be like you're you're man
you talk a lot bro
I mean if you do it like that then it's fine it's like
you know it's mildly annoying but what the fuck
like I would do that that's what I'm saying
yeah I would do that so what I yeah but but for a normal person
who's not a crazy sociopath or a comedian
then you kind of got a tiptoe around that stuff
what if you said what if he said
you know I was thinking the other day
I don't know. I really don't know anyone who talks as much as you.
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Oh yeah
You can't veil it like it's something else
You gotta say it right away
Dude I did this thing where once
I was when I was doing that movie Army of the Dead
There was a snake wrangler there
Because we were in the middle of the desert
And Albuquerque and it fucking sucks there
And who would go to New Mexico
So we were there and there's just snakes around
Because it's hell on earth
And there was a guy there
That was just like looking for snakes
As we were shooting
to get them away.
Yeah, just in case
there were snakes or anything.
Like, there's a snake over here
and he would just get it
with his fucking claw thing
and then put it somewhere else further away.
And I was like, what are you doing?
And he was like, you know,
he's all dressed in tan, you know?
They came where colors
for some fucking reason.
Every wrangler is in tan on those sacks.
And so many pockets, you know.
And, and, and I was like,
what are you doing?
And he was like, oh, dude,
I'm just looking for snakes
if they're here, you know.
he's like, yeah, you want to find him?
And he was like, yeah, I can't, no, you know, the idea is that they're not around.
So that's my job.
And I was like, oh, but you want to find him because you're like a crazy person, huh?
And he was like, well, I'm not a crazy person.
And I was like, oh.
Can't talk to this guy.
Done with this guy.
Yeah, I don't.
Yeah, man.
Oh, you had a fucking wild childhood, huh?
And I know that immediately.
Yeah, of course.
Yeah.
Well, first of all, I know you had a wild childhood because all you do is look for snakes all day long.
Yeah.
I think about
like every time
there's an animal on a set
there's someone called a wrangler
and they're there for that specific kind of animal
some people do all different kinds
some people do just dogs
or just alligators
or whatever the fuck yeah
and they're all crazy though
it's very crazy
to pay more attention
to animals than it is to human
relationships
I don't give a fuck
job it's insane yeah but no there's crazy you know everyone knows women like this they're like
oh i love my cats i love my dog dogs are better than people those people are fucking crazy
those people are crazy you cannot have uh they they don't have re they don't if the people who
value oh well my dog's always going to be here if a man won't you're a that's you're the problem
dude it drives me nuts it's so crazy when it most most and i don't mean this all but most
people who are like animal rescuer type people are fucking bat shit insane not all of them
they got a lot going on probably yeah not all of them like it can be a noble good thing and
animals do need that but most of the people we know that you you know you know people like this
they like you know they're in a house somewhere and they fucking are like oh you know it's just like
Thinking about dogs is crazy, bro.
Thinking about animals is fucking insane, dude.
At all?
For a long time, you think about animals for 40 minutes?
You're fucking crazy, dude.
That's crazy.
A day or total?
No, in a row.
40 consecutive minutes to just be like,
oh shit, dude.
Yeah, the condor actually does do that.
You're fucking in.
You're insane. You're insane.
You know, it's cool to have a dog. I have four, you know.
It's cool to pet him. It's cool to love on them and shit.
But like, when you get these people who are like, dogs are loyal and men aren't women, you know, you're a, dude, you have, and it's fine, but don't act like you don't have problems.
I knew a guy whose dad had this dog.
A doxend who bit the guy I know his son, his face when he was a kid.
And he blamed his son.
And it, because he loved the dog so much.
Kill the dog, kill the guy.
And it scarred his man.
This guy who knows face for his entire life.
The kid.
The kid.
Kill dog, kill a guy.
Even when he was an adult, he had this reminder every time you see himself of how much
his dad loved his dog more than him so no not only not only kill the dog do it with your
bare hands well i mean that's that's crazy dude are you kidding i mean if a dog if a dog bit a child
of mine or even of yours i would like i would probably want to kill if my dog even if it was my own
yeah yeah forget it yeah that's i don't no no it's just too much and and i know i'm coming off harsh
and and perhaps too harsh you know probably and maybe you know it's for
I don't know, but it's just, like, do these people who are just like,
like, there's so much wrong with the world,
and then they're just going to be like, you know.
That's why when I look at fucking Leonardo DiCaprio's fucking Twitter,
and I'm just like, shut the fuck up about dolphins, dude.
Oh, yeah.
Every tweet you write is about fucking dolphins,
and you didn't write it and everyone knows it.
What are you doing?
But there's people that think, there's those people that think, like,
the ecosystem, and if you get rid of,
how about when people are just like,
you know if all the bees die,
we're fucked everyone gets in a car wreck within three weeks it's like dude you know man all right
because every food chain and it all they they provide a purpose all right fine man okay
what the fuck do you want me to do about it yeah it's kind of about donate to pause it's kind
about priorities you know yeah it's about priorities what you can what you can possibly do
and fill your own mind with per day it's so annoying dude yeah well because you know we need
bees if someone ever says that to me and many people have like six i go nuts people do
need bees fine you didn't go nuts but i'm not what am i going to do i'm not getting rid of bees
so don't tell me that am i out there catching bees and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and
and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and i'm a crazy evil bee villain
i've no i've killed a bunch of bees once that but that's a confession
I think that's illegal, what I did.
Well, if there's a bee, well, if you're doing it with a gun in public, yeah.
But if there's a bee and he's around and it might sting me, boom.
Of course.
That's it.
If it's around my kids, boom, that's it.
You know, it's like, I don't need to hear about all this stuff with, like, how it's the ecosystem.
Well, one B is, you know, right?
I understand, but it's all good.
I'm talking about I slayed like 200 Bs once.
I mean, Jesus Christ, dude.
They were right outside my house.
well how do you slay 200 bees
oh with a spray
yeah yeah yeah but I don't think that's legal
I think Gavin Newsom's gonna arrest me right after this show
You think that that's not illegal
I mean you think that that's illegal
I think that's not I mean I'm not gonna go to jail
No no no I think it's the final
What you're in here for bees
I slayed 200 bees
All right
Oh really turn around I'm gonna fuck your ass
Oh cool let's use this guy
So cold
All right
Let's do the next one
The Wildwood curse
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So, sexy. So, sexy.
Listen to your podcast during the day. It really helps me get through mine. So I figured
that's in a submission. Moved to Dallas a few weeks ago. Hooked up my first Southern
girl last night. Hell yeah. Solid seven here. So probably six in L.A. Chris Tuckett,
too caught up with that um you know i saw southern girls sweet innocent cute which she was but then during
pillow talk she hid me with the whole i want you to do the same thing you just did but wake me up with
it not tomorrow just sometime i was like okay what i can do this my ex of three years into this i got
this but then what's just i found myself staring at the ceiling for at least an hour thinking about
like how bad this could go for me yeah you know i literally could get caught with my dick in my hand
yeah you could just wanted to get you guys as thoughts see if you would pursue it see you
if you would get to know a little better first,
or if you would just go for it.
What?
It could turn out great or it could turn out like I would turn around and leave
and not even get my things because I'd be so embarrassed.
So trying to get your guys' thoughts, thanks.
What's he saying?
I don't know what he's saying.
The guy talks like Forrest Whitaker.
My understanding is that he wants,
after they had their first time together,
she said she wants him to do the same thing to her.
Sex?
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, I mean, you know.
And, but wake her up with it, but not this tomorrow morning.
Meaning.
Surprise me waking me up with sex.
Correct.
Another day, which sounds to me like she's asking him to break in and wake her up.
Oh.
Oh.
Is that not right?
If that, I thought he slept over.
I thought she wanted to be woken up with sex, but not.
Not like that, not in an scenario where he wasn't even there the night before.
Oh, okay, okay, I got you.
I didn't think that.
Okay, yeah.
No, don't do that.
But we never do that.
I mean, that's like you get in real trouble for that.
But waking up with somebody and then, I mean, initiating sex.
I mean, dude, I don't understand because like if you try to initiate sex and the woman is sleeping, they wake up and then they go, oh, yeah, or oh, no, right?
It's usually one of those.
Like, you're not gonna, like, in what world would you be, like, there's the whole, you know, that porn where there's like the guys having sex with the girl and the girl sleeping?
It's like a fucking, it's like called something, right?
Is it?
Yeah.
But it's like, what, I, I, I, whenever I see like a thumb of that, I'm like, who the fuck would watch that?
It's so fake.
Like, you wake up.
Oh, there's a cock inside me?
Uh-huh.
Get my coffee.
Right.
I'm awake.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
I mean, if it's her kink, maybe, you know?
Yeah, but so, so, so is he.
he talking about hey no no no i think he's talking about he she wants to be woken up
mid-act yeah but that's not even possible no don't do that don't do that i would never
no i would never do that don't do that no that's a kink that's by oh sweetie hey how about this uh
wake me up i'll be asleep put your pussy on me i wouldn't like that neither would i but i mean
you know if it's her kink it's her kink if somebody's got to be sleeping it's going to be me
boy because i'm not taking that chance hey sweetie but what is i guess what i'm asking is
what is the chance what is the risk he's concerned with what what is he worried about
bro some chick goes like this oh my god wait you're fucking me sure that that that's crazy
but she asked him to right you trust period i think that's what his he just met the
woman plus right you don't know her that well maybe maybe get like if you date her for a little while
do that but don't do it the second time you have i'm a little yeah i'm a little confused though because
like waking someone up she'll wake up before that yeah you know yeah i mean are you a ninja
fucker well yeah but but you've been alive long enough to know that that's a thing that is possible
no I don't if I'm next to my wife
and she's sleeping and I go
yeah oh yeah
it might be because you're saying that that she wakes up
she goes but you know what I mean if I activate whatever she goes like this
or right that's what that's not like the latter is what she's seeking
she doesn't mean I want to remain asleep
she means wake me up with it I want to wake up
two sex I want to wake up two sex I want to wake up two
sex.
I don't think there's anything to be afraid of with this at all.
Clink!
I mean, there's ways it could go wrong.
She asked, like, even if, I don't think it, I think it's crazy if she actually meant to
come over and fucking break in and.
No, I don't think that, Matt was kind of, that, I was thinking, I was thinking about.
If she asked, yeah, maybe get to know her like a little bit.
A little bit better, yeah.
Four or five.
Four or five times.
Just out at the club, never met the girl.
Hey, fuck me when I'm sleeping.
One more time, got me feeling so free.
It's time to sit.
Hey, what the fuck?
Clink.
Yeah, forget that, dude.
No.
Hey, eyes open when we fuck.
Give it a few, give it a few sexual turns, spins around the earth, you know?
It was the worst thing I ever heard in my life.
That sentence.
It was the worst sentence I've heard.
I'm alive.
Go off.
All right.
Yeah, that's, that's, don't, don't do anything like that.
Next.
What's up, Chris?
What's up, Matt?
My name is Nolan.
I'm from Rhode Island.
Chris, I saw you earlier this year in Cranston.
Hell yeah.
I am new to Lifeline.
I've always been a fan of Chris, but I just never got into Lifeline.
Wow.
So I'm starting from episode one.
I'm on episode three, I think, right now.
And it made me think, like, I wonder what you guys would say in regards to, is there
anything that you miss about this early era of Lifeline that I'm starting on? Are you glad
you ironed out certain kinks? How do you think you guys have changed, not just as people,
but specifically in regards to this podcast. It'd be kind of cool. As somebody who doesn't know
the most recent bits that you guys have just started in the newest episodes, again, I'm only
up to episode three. Is there anything you can tell me? Some fair warning, some, oh, episode,
whatever. Let me know as someone who is new to Lifeline what I should know. Are you happy about
certain things? You miss certain things. Let me know. Love you guys. Life reps. What if you reiterate
one more time? Sucinct, yeah. Now, he was good with it, but I don't know, really. It's hard
to say. I forget sometimes how long we've been doing this. No, I, well, here's what I forget.
Everything immediately after each episode. 100%. Oh, you two? The same, yeah. Oh, dude.
And it's been like that since episode one.
Dude, I thought something was wrong with me.
I'm like, people, people come up and be like, oh, dude.
Yeah, I know.
I mean, people on cargo pants guy.
And you're like, what?
Yeah.
And then you look back, you're like, oh, I did a fucking 25 minute bit about a cargo
pants guy.
I have no, I have no memory of it.
And I go, oh, yeah, now I do.
But like, yeah.
So I don't know.
I mean, I'm just grateful to be doing it still.
And also, it's fun.
And it goes, it's up and down.
You know, there's strings of episodes that are amazing.
And there's strings of episodes that, to me, are like,
We're just kind of getting through it, but it feels good now.
We feel good.
I feel good.
Now it feels really good.
Yeah.
It's in a really good spot right now.
But he's not going to know this for three years because if he's going at this base.
But so in three years when you hear our answer, we will be doing right now, we'll be doing very well in three years from now.
I'll be dead.
No, that's not.
I hope that's not true.
Yeah, no, I won't be dead.
But somebody, a lot of people will be.
Mm-hmm.
In three years?
Mm-hmm.
millions and millions of people will be dead
between now and three years.
Yeah, I know.
Everybody knows that.
That's one of those things you don't need to say
like fucking bees, help the ecosystem.
Just reminding everyone how life works.
But, yeah, I mean, I don't know.
I don't even know how to answer that
because we're in the middle of it.
Like anything else, there's ups and downs
and like, but I don't know.
It's got a lot of really great moments, I think.
Yeah.
Also, oh, the main thing,
is that for whatever reason, and we don't even really know why, but always, always, always
the funniest things happen in the very last. That's a great. In the very last 10 minutes.
Okay. So that, if there's a thing to know about Lifeline, it's the last 10 to 15 minutes are
always the funniest and best. And that sucks, frankly. I don't know what it is, yeah. I don't know
what it is either. But more often than not, the last 15 minutes, we're just dying laughing. What is,
that's a great that's what the guy's asking and that's the answer there you go there you go
also honestly it because i've never i mean i've never done really a podcast on camera before
it led me to do my own as well and now i do this almost for a living i mean i still do what
i did before but like sell your body yeah uh but uh i don't know it was it was my entry point
into doing it, and I didn't know if I would like it,
and I love it, and I expanded it because I love it so much.
That's a Mathilina universe.
That's cool, too.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, no, I think that somebody should cut together the last 15 minutes of every episode
of Lifeline and put that on the thing.
Somebody will.
Dude, there's all these best-of-lifeline things that's...
Oh, really?
Do you see those?
No.
In your algorithm?
Uh-uh.
It's weird.
Dude, I don't fucking...
I guess I don't look at stuff anymore.
You don't go on YouTube?
No.
Dude, it's like all kids stuff on there.
Well, my YouTube is now just all kid stuff.
Well, that's why you're not on there, right?
I guess so, yeah.
Wait, you're saying because I have kids and I watch.
Gonna kick his ass.
Oh, got it.
No, I thought, or maybe that's like the new hot thing on YouTube.
I don't know.
No, like, I mean, you meant you.
Because of my algorithm, yeah.
I open my TV and I open YouTube and I have all stuff that I want to see.
Exactly.
But when I'm at your house.
Right, right, right.
Yeah.
It's all fucking people cutting sand and shit.
What's interesting is that I knew exactly what he means.
meant and you had three or four questions about it. But I didn't have it. I didn't have to ask him
anything and I knew exactly what it meant. You had three or four questions about it. That's not
interesting. Pretty interesting. What's it? What's what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, it's, what's, it's, what's, I'm, it's, I'm,
I understood it all entirely, even the way he said it. You take shortcuts and understanding that stuff. And you're going to, that's going to, that's going to lead to
some problems at some point
and for me I'll have less problems because
except for people would be annoyed with me and that's fine I'll take that
well you've been taking that whole lot
at least I don't know what everybody's talking about
you've been taking that your whole life so it's all good
okay let's do the next one
hey Matt hey Chris
I just wanted to say thank you so much
for the advice last time I wrote into the show
that actually really helped me a lot
and it helped me get out of my head so thank you
oh cool nice
my other question is
how do I stop fucking spending money man
I love spending money, but I know I shouldn't.
I can't, I have a problem with wanting to spend outside of my means and all kinds of stuff.
But I can't because I want to be financially stable for some children that I want to adopt soon.
I want to adopt children and I have to be financially stable for that.
But I don't know, man.
How do I get over this little bullshit thing I can't get over?
Thanks.
I don't know.
I've gone...
I mean, I have so many things like that where it's like...
Not that.
That's not one of my things.
But I have so many things that are like,
why can't I just stop?
And it's not that it's meaningless to spend too much money.
It's meaningful and it affects your life in many ways.
But like, I don't think there's an answer besides like, stop.
Yeah.
Give it to chat, GPD, dude.
That's my higher power.
What is, give it to chat.
Just be like, yo, chat GPT.
I'm trying to save money, but also I spend too much.
What should I buy this, that, that, that.
Sam Altman will take care of that.
Let me ask you something.
Do you worry that you're getting dumber because you do that so much?
Or do you think you're getting smarter?
Well, I only do it for my workouts and eating, but not, not for anything else.
How about broadly?
Do you think it's making people dumber or smarter?
Yeah.
Well, that's like asking, you know, do the iPhones do that?
and yeah well chat to be specifically
gives you information and knowledge
yeah but so I use chat to be so much
and I use it but but not for the
no I know that I talk I'm I ask it about
stuff that I want to know about right right right
and I'm like what this is
like a fucking gold mine
this knows everything
and then and then sometimes
I'll be like no that's wrong
like I what you just said is not right
And then she'll be like, because I do the voice one, she'll be like, ah, you're right, you got me.
And I'm like, why did I get you?
Well, it's not, the truth is it's not good enough yet.
It's not, yeah.
Because I'll go like, you know, I literally use it pretty much only for what do I eat, what have I eaten today?
And sometimes I'll be like, what do I eat so far today?
And it'll tell me, and I'll be like, that was yesterday.
And what does it say?
And they go, oh, you're right.
My bad.
Thanks for, thanks for catching me on that.
And you're like, don't fuck that up.
No, don't fuck that up.
Yeah, that's kind of where I'm at.
Bro, when I was in Europe, I was like, oh my God.
Hey, chat, GBT, because I don't want to reset the day at 6 a.m.
For eating.
Oh, okay.
Dude, it would sort of reset like fucking 2 p.m.
Because I was in Amsterdam.
Every fucking day, I'm like, I'm not in Los Angeles anymore.
Save this.
And it wouldn't remember.
And it goes, gotcha.
Every fucking day at 3 p.m.
Ready for your new.
ready for your fucking oatmeal.
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That's annoying.
What?
You're a muffler.
You don't hear it?
Oh, I don't even notice it.
I usually drown it out with the radio.
How's this?
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I get to the point where I was like, why do you keep doing this?
And what is that?
It was like, oh, my bad.
You know, I got it now for sure, and they did not.
I mean, yeah, Chachipchee's
So it's not good enough yet
Once it dials that in though
What's it matter if we're dumber or not?
I mean, dude
I mean, you could argue it matters even more
Because then there's something smarter than us
Yeah, well no, in that way it does
And it argues, you know, it matters artistically and shit
But like, you know
Like look, if you're going to put a text or an email together
Like the one that mom sent
you know that you should if you want to be like is this good you just put into chat
you be like clean it up so yeah you get dumber because you don't have to do that
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah but that that that's that's you know been around since predictive
texting since you know since uh yeah it is I actually don't know where I sit on the scale
and people talk I mean I read about all the time it's Chachibati making us a dumber but like I don't
know it is especially over time over time I think there's no
doubt. There's no doubt. But right now,
I'm not sure yet. Yeah, I mean, people... It's making people
crazy, though. Well, put it this way.
Have I told the story? Yes, you have. Yes, it is making people
crazy. Well, put it this way. Wait, have I told the story, though? Yeah. About the
guy? Yeah. Okay.
Keep going. Like, people
can't name, like, four countries now. You know? And... People don't know what the
capital of the United States is or the capital... But people wouldn't be able to...
And maybe it's the Internet has exposed more than...
dumb people maybe but like dude people can't name four countries here's what's crazy they're like
canada um baltimore yeah they'll be like cheese steak paris and presumption you know like what
you fucking idiot it's pretty crazy uh god yeah so forgot all i was gonna say but yeah but that stuff
that's because it's chat d because that's what you fall on we're forgetting but that's what that's what
happens over time yeah oh here's what i was going to say everybody anytime somebody has a utopian vision
of something like algor's dumbass with the internet how it was going to democratize knowledge
it did but people didn't give a fuck yeah because dumb shit right exists yeah because instead of
looking up like the history of the roman empire you can look you can use sore too and make
michael jackson fucking moonwalk and steal your french fries dude you know and
I it's like crazy dude and 99% of those people are going to do the Michael Jackson it's so
crazy and it's like dude every bit of every piece of knowledge that we have as humans is literally
accessible on the internet and yet we're dumber right we could take economics classes at you
what the fuck we could literally take the highest level Harvard classes uh for free and online and we're
fucking making Michael Jackson dance backwards nobody's doing it taking their friend taking some
French rights going he he yeah you're watching fucking cockroaches have a fiesta on a ring
cam you know what is that I don't know dude all of human fucking nuts you could
you could make an argument that all of human history has been the pursuit of more and more
knowledge right even fucking apes in a cave making fire yeah figuring out how to burn meat so
it's more nutritious yeah everything every fucking all of it but then when once we get
get all of it, we're like fucking
make, like, make this stupid
AI video of Bigfoot?
Instead of getting a degree, you're watching
cockroaches play mariachi music during a fiesta on a
ring cam.
Oh, that's a targeted demo if there ever was.
Well, and also in the fucking 90s.
Yeah, exactly, yeah.
Yeah.
Do you remember when he hosted Monday Night Football?
Yeah.
For season?
Yeah, I never really watched it, but yeah.
It was so odd.
you know i talked about that with somebody recently about how like why don't they uh i was i was i was
making a oh we were watching tv oh yeah it was during the world series we're watching tv with two
or three families at our house you know that crazy game and shit yeah oh the 18 inning game
no no the last seven and and and it cut to uh two guys in the dugout and one guy was on you know how
their step, like a step into the dugout.
So one guy was on the step
and the other guy was not on the step
and they were talking to each other
so they were like this.
And I, and somebody said,
what do you think they're talking about?
And I said, and then I immediately said,
the only reason why you're taller
is because you're standing on that step, right?
And they laugh because it was so quick
and like, whatever the fuck.
So, and then they were like,
why don't they have comedians as announcers?
And that sounds like such a great idea.
And it's just not.
It's not.
It's not.
You don't want to hear me doing that when you're watching fucking baseball.
Especially actual fans don't want that.
Baseball fans.
Right.
Yes.
No, it's awful.
Yeah.
And so I think, I don't know if, I don't know what Dennis Miller did.
But, well, his whole thing was his all into like esoteric weird history.
So he would say shit like, like, like, like, reference like King Tutankham.
when there was like a fumble.
Ah, Voltaire.
Yeah, exactly.
And it was just like,
touchdown, Voltaire.
Michael's was like, okay, you know,
who?
The other guy, the guy that's been doing
football forever.
Yeah, anyway, what the fuck is that?
We're going to go for a conversion here.
I don't know what the fuck Dennis Miller's talking about
or what that caha stuff is.
I used to love his show on HBO.
Remember that?
His show?
Yeah.
I mean, so pissed out.
Man, one of the funniest things,
and I think about this all the time, dude,
it was so funny for no reason.
I don't know if anybody has ever made me laugh
but with one word before
in the amount that this made me laugh.
Okay.
He comes out, Dennis Miller.
It's still funny.
Dude, it's still fucking funny to me.
He comes, what?
He comes out.
ladies gentlemen
Dennis Miller
you know
whatever the fucking
sound is
they want to play
everybody
rules the world
what's that
oh right
yeah
everybody wants to
everybody wants to rule
that's right
and he would come out
and he came out
I must have been
fucking
17
I don't know
we were young
yeah
but he came out
and he goes
and they stopped
clapping
and he's standing there
and he just goes
Jumanji
Jumanji
and like, and like people kind of laughed
and he just went
you know, and it was when Jumanji
kind of like had come out or something
but my God, dude, I think about that all the time
and I laughed so hard
because it was just so simply funny
because of how stupid it was
that that's a fucking movie
and all he had to do was say Jumanji.
It was unbelievable, it was awesome.
exactly. And I laughed so hard.
I wonder if that's somewhere on YouTube I would love to find.
Let's see if we can fight.
On luxury. Yeah, we'll do that. Yeah.
Jumanji. I think that's going to be hard.
Even though you think it's going to be easy. No, no, I don't think it'll be easy.
I think it'll be hard. But I never know. I never know.
Hey, nothing easy is worth doing. Am I right?
Boom.
Nice. Hey, I actually have advice for the guy.
Oh, great. Give it to him. Lay it on them.
We're still, are we still on the guy who's asking how to save money and not spend money?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
Um, you, what you do is anytime you want to buy something, you just write it down.
I'm not saying don't buy it, but you identify one day a week where you buy stuff.
Oh, that's a good idea.
And you just wait because maybe the impulse will pass.
That's a good idea.
That's a really good idea.
So then when Friday comes, let's say it's Friday, you're like, okay, the oven that I wanted
to get, the, you know, whatever.
So it's so expensive.
Yeah, the shoes.
The mansion I wanted to purchase.
You know what?
I'll skip that.
The beard trimmer.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
And then...
The zebra that I was going to purchase.
And you just have to not buy anything every other day.
That's a good idea.
Because honestly, most of the stuff you probably won't want anymore.
Oh, dude.
Man, when I go into my closet and I see all these fucking shoes that I used to be obsessed about,
I'm like...
What do you sell them?
Yeah, I don't know.
Make a lot of money.
You have so many shoes.
You're like fucking Elizabeth Taylor with shoes, you know?
I am like Elizabeth Taylor.
I don't know, I just, I don't, because I don't, I don't do that kind of shit anymore.
I mean, if I see a cool shirt, I'll get it, but like, I have too many shoes.
Also, maybe it's age, I'm 45, maybe it's an age thing.
I'm 45 now.
I don't know.
Shoeheads don't die, though, like that.
I think you're an uncommon case of that.
Well, I wouldn't say, you were a shoehead for sure.
Yeah.
Oh, no, no, no, I was.
But I could easily do that again.
Oh, oh.
I can get addicted to anything, bro.
fucking it's
Get some cocaine out here
God thank God I never tried that
Jesus Christ
Any drug you never tried any drug right
I'd be dead yeah
Oh I did are you kidding
Give up drugs? No way
No fucking way dude
I would never
I wouldn't be able to
There's no fucking way
Although I am surprising myself
With the Swedes
But I give it to chat GPT
That's my higher power
You know what I mean
I really don't like that you're saying that
If I have a cold problem
There's a thing called robotheism
I know
And it sucks
and you're practicing it by saying chat chibati is your higher power well i'm just saying if i had a coke
problem i would go to chat chbd to see what's up but but you can't do that now because they can't
give you medical advice they just pass that so great they would point you to a place that has
information i'm not doing that i want i want my phone to be like you're god yeah my god
now you can't robotheism is fucking tight robothism is in c
It is insane.
It is insane.
Yeah.
Anyway, let's not get into that.
Let's do another one.
Well, I'll get into it later by myself.
What's up, my babies?
I got a dilemma that I need some advice on.
So, I have an 11 and a half one.
Can we pause it?
I like...
This guy seems very nice, very...
Very cool.
Here it comes, dude.
I gotta go on record about something.
I fucking hate these sunglasses.
When you say these, you mean...
The circular sunglasses.
I agree.
that people wear that.
Except Liam Gallagher wears him, so I like him.
I fucking hate anyone.
I don't hate anyone who wears them.
They're so not good looking for me.
Aesthetically.
I hate that.
Well, I know for a fact they look terrible on me, but I'm not with you on just in general
hating on them.
I just, it's like, what the fuck?
What?
Is it, what you're saying it's more popular now than it used to be?
Well, in the 90s, it was crazy.
It's back in fashion, yeah.
Oh, I see.
Yeah, it was popular.
And it's just, it's, you know,
what it's like, it's like, you know what it's like that I think that makes me think of it?
It's like, people are like, look how hot I am that I can pull this off. And I'm not saying
that that's what that guy's doing. But it permeates into a bunch of different things. But like,
but like, I think in the fashion world, it's like, look how hot I am. I get to wear these
jerky circular glasses and you still want me. That's a crazy extrapolation to get from
there to there. Like, that is so many steps. I know. I don't think anyone has ever thought that.
It's a subconscious thing
at a subconscious level
and I have theories
and that's one of the things
that's making me so good.
Oh, interesting.
I think no one's ever thought
what you just said.
Maybe not consciously.
I mean, you think
Freud, fucking Freud.
How wrong was he, you know?
Oh, so wrong.
You think fucking Chloe Savigny didn't think that.
You got to know.
If Chloe Sevenier thought
these are chic as fuck,
I'm like a stylish,
this. I influence the
style of the world. And I'm hot enough to wear something
jerky. No. And you still want me
because my teeth sloped down. No. Okay. Okay. Incorrect.
No. Anyway, what's up with this? Check out the scene in
a bad button. He maps twice a day still.
Brown button. And my neighbor
somehow, ironically enough, mows
every time that this kid goes down for a nap.
Oh, that's rough. My neighbor moving
his lawn. It doesn't wake my kid up every single
time. But sometimes it does. It happens once in a while. It's not
often um so i don't see it as like a huge deal because it doesn't happen all the time but when
it does happen it's really irritating because we're trying to get him on the strict sleep schedule
my wife gets stressed out about it exactly um this neighbor is a nice guy we don't have any problems
so i feel like i could reach out to him and be like hey man um you know my son goes down at this time
do you think you could mow later on or whatever but part of me feels like that's such a dick move
no to be like hey my kid no has a nap schedule you need to not do your yard
right now because it's like who the fuck am i you know i mean you're his neighbor i shouldn't
be able to control this guy's yard work and his that's true what he does in his free time you
know and he has every right to say no right what are you guys's opinion on this should i
reach out to him and be kind of like hey mow your lawn at a different sauce or she'll just let
it go because he's his own man and has his own life and his problem is not my baby's sleep
schedule you know what you guys just take on this are there any spin moves I can hit on
what a good guy I love you guys what it what a good guy yeah you know like so many people
did that this guy's thinking about something that might affect someone else you shit all over
sunglasses how do you feel about that I fucking hate those sunglasses okay well how do you feel
about being I already said he seemed like a guy and I was right because I'm very intuitive
and also I have theories that fucking work out so you might be wrong about the fucking thing about
Gwrennith Patro but I said what the fuck oh I that's what I meant um the same person of me kind
in a way it's kind of i think it's it's a mix of both like you you you have every right to like
kindly approach him and say hey i mean i'm fully aware of what this ask yeah i don't want to
like mess with your daily life but like this happens to be the case happened to be the same time
we put our sundown is there a way that maybe you could do it i'm not at any time i don't care
But, like, you know, that isn't right then because we're trying, it's been really hard.
And, like, if you get him emotionally involved, not like he's going to be like, oh, my gosh, but like, hook him with the details without boring him and be asking him, do not be telling him.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then whatever he says, that's the answer.
You don't get a different answer.
I agree, yeah.
If he says, fuck you, then you're like, oh, you're a piece of shit, you're an asshole.
Right.
If he says, uh, I guess I could do it at this time.
He's a bit of an asshole, but he's doing it.
Right, right.
And then if he's like, oh, man, of course.
I wish you had said something sooner.
Then you have a real neighbor that you're lucky to have.
Yeah, true.
I mean, what would you do?
If I was him?
No, the neighbor.
Oh, the neighbor?
Well, I would 100% not do it during the nap.
Yeah.
I don't know how I would be about it.
I don't think knowing myself
just being perfectly honest
I might be like
Yeah man I can do it
Yeah
Oh really?
Maybe yeah
It depends on my mood yeah
But honestly if he came to me the way I said
I would be like oh yeah of course
I wish you had said something
Like always you can always
Like give a baby
Like that's more
Kind of important than my fucking lawn
You know what I mean
But
It's all about the way you ask
that's it yeah i mean there's a ton of things you can do you can be like hey uh i know this sucks
and obviously like you know also sorry real quick but his his not time's gonna change
so that's just get right back to doing it whatever it is 2 p.m whatever that's true that's true
yeah that's true yeah i don't know i'm just thinking like you know i mean fuck you could even be like
bro if this is the only time you can do it
and if it matters to this guy that much
is just be like I'll mow your lawn
fucking you know what I mean
I can't do that like I'll mow your lawn in the morning
or whatever the you know
like there is that
that you could have in your back pocket
because you know
that's probably a good exercise or something
you know
probably burn some calories more on lawn
you have to eat a little extra
but um yeah the
as long as you keep it 40 30 30
but the uh yeah
it's, what's you doing, man?
Just doing some chatypd stuff.
No, no reason for that.
Doing my God, praying to my God.
Yeah, I think that, well, I guess what I would do is, hey, because he said he's a good guy.
He did say, he already knows he's a good guy.
So I'd say, hey, man, dude, I know that this is annoying.
I don't think it'll always be this way, but, you know, you seem, how often do you remember?
mowal on once a week, right? You say, yo, uh, the time you mowal on is when my kid has happened
to be taking a nap now and it just, it wakes him up a lot of the time. I totally get it if
it's the only time you can do it. But if not, uh, it'd be, it'd be cool if you did it in a different
time and whatever. Just take that information, do with it what you get. You don't have to answer.
Just, you know, do it. That's a good way to do. You know, um, yeah. And then, uh, yeah. So,
and if he does it again? And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And then. And
Kill him.
Or ask him and the guy goes like, that's when I mow the lawn, buddy, say, I'm going to fuck your wife.
Yeah.
I'm going to try everything I can and I'm going to be so charismatic.
And I'm telling you in fair warning and tell her too.
Huh.
Excuse me.
Are you here?
Let's go.
Here.
Come here.
Hi.
Okay.
So here's what's been happening.
He's been mowing the lawn when my kid is sleeping.
It's fine.
It totally doesn't have to change when he mowers a lawn.
I told him, though, since he said he's not going to do it,
and I want it to be full transparency,
I wanted you guys to understand.
I'm going to try and sleep with you.
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so okay and I get that you're probably like what the audacity yeah I get it I'm gonna work from
that point be so charismatic and just really focus everything on that and when you cave you cave
all right so yeah I'll see you guys later go put my kid down and then hey the next day how you doing
so awkward wearing her down after fucking nine months i mean i think it would take longer than nine
months no i know but but for the first crack oh it's actually it's actually cool your your hair
yeah thanks just like seven years you know and then you actually finally get that's like he gets all
fat you don't even want to fuck her anymore the kids eight the kids eight daddy why he was with our
neighbor's wife well eight years when you were when you were a little boy
I defended your honor
Yeah
He was waking you up
Once a week with his mowing sometimes
So I fucked his wife
Eventually
It took me 12 years
And that son
Is a life lesson
Never ever give up
That's why you never fuck with a Thompson
That guy's name is definitely Thompson
Dude
That's great
Wow
Do you do one more
Yeah
Let's do one more.
What up, Chris?
What's up, Matt?
My name is Paymon.
I am calling in today from Larkspur, California.
Where is that?
No, my question today is in regards to a situation that I encounter often at work.
I'm a server at a restaurant, and every couple days, someone will ask me,
am I from the East Coast?
Because they say, I have an accent.
And no, I was born in Sacramento, so I don't necessarily have an East Coast accent.
And I understand, like, where it's coming from, because I was talking to someone
about it and they're like oh yeah you got this like drawing your voice and like you speak from
like the back of your throat because you're like a chill guy and you're like a fun guy but i was
like don't mistake me for a mushroom yeah he does kind of but he doesn't have an east coast i have this
acting background and when i was younger i was like a little more monotone so i had to work on
like inflection so adding a little bit of melody to the way i speak and maybe that sort of like
plays a part in that sort of accent that people hear but i don't want to say all that shit so
what do i tell them we too we do guys respond to that
So do I?
I would just say no.
Can I take your order?
Are you from the East Coast?
No, what do you want?
No, would you like to hear the specials?
I think that you say yes.
I think you say no, but honestly, I hear that all the time.
That's like a charming thing to say, and it's quick and it's easy and it's done.
You're from the East Coast?
But then they got to ask...
Morris Town. What do you want?
But then they say, oh, my cousin lives in Montclair.
I don't know. What would you like your specials?
Then you're a dick. Then you're a dick. I think you've got to be honest and just say, no, but I get there all the time.
And I just, this is my voice. I'm from Sacktown. Now you want my nuts sack in your mouth? You want to fucking order.
Wow. Can I talk to you for a second, Richard?
Payment?
I think it's because also... Payment in my office.
He looks swarthy.
that has anything to do with it
you mean like he's Italian
yeah he he looks like he
yeah he looks like he's no bullshit
yeah he's got that vibe sure I understand that
yeah at first I didn't look like he is
I do get it he looks like a New Yorker
yeah look like you from fucking Queens
yeah you know
I mean it's got like a brother
named Polly you know like
sorry dude if you have the slightest
tinge of a New York accent
people are going to think you're from fucking
New York if you look like that and even a little bit sounds like he's fucking pale with blonde
yeah then they would never even if you had that voice it would just confuse them but you don't
have an accent obviously don't over think but he doesn't sound like he's yeah he doesn't
sound like he's from California yeah you wouldn't you wouldn't guess that no and it might be
because of his look too yeah but what kind of a name is Payman though I know I know people
with that name but like is that a Persian name what is I think it I think it's uh yeah
Is it Armenian?
It's Persian.
What is it?
Persian.
Persian.
Okay, yeah.
Fucking smash that.
Didn't even have to use that cheap.
Persian isn't really a thing anymore, though, so it's more Iranian or somewhere around there
because Persia is not a fucking place anymore.
Iranian?
Iranian.
He's Iranian?
Yeah.
Yeah, but you say Persian.
I understand.
I'm just saying.
Dude, I one time called a guy.
He's still classified as Persian.
Persian.
Persian.
Dude, I don't think that that's true.
Racist.
I had a fucking guy.
Got to get them Persians out.
Get mad at me for saying he was Persian.
by because he's he's like no i'm from iran and i was like but isn't that that's okay man
that's what i thought but i guess i mean i don't know but he fucking said it wasn't so what do i know
i didn't say you were from the fucking ottoman empire man you know what i mean yeah
are you are you ottoman you're from the check republic are you ottoman dude i don't know
what i do know is that movie prince of persia with jack jillin hall jacked jillin hall
fucking that guy this is the thing about that fucking
actors, dude. And he's great. I think he's great. I think he's really good. I do. I really do.
But he does the lately the dumbest movie. Well, yeah, but that, but that's okay. Why?
No, dude, don't. Because he's done, he's done enough great shit. I don't agree with that.
You don't think so? I mean, he's done some good stuff, but it's not like he's fucking Christian
bail. Well, he's 45, though. Well, I guess so is Christian Bell kind of 50, yeah. Yeah, but it's like,
dude, don't do Roadhouse, you fucking loser. But that's a huge payday, do that. But don't do
ambulance you fucking loser
the Michael Bay one that like nobody
never cared about.
He does so much dumb shit.
So much dumb shit.
I like that remake one he was in though
but he put at the call center.
Yeah, the original
one of that is amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's that movie
called? Uh, fuck dude, I was this is
I was talking to
Army Hammer and dude he was talking to me about that movie
and he was like, he's like, I can't remember the name and I was like
I can't either. And now you're
doing it. What the fuck? That's so weird. It must be a weird name. The guilty. The guilty.
Oh, that's, yeah, that's a, that's a, that's a, but what's the, uh, Danish title? Fukwa directed
that. The guilty was not, was not original bad. Uh, the, same. Oh, okay. The guilty. That's
fucking good. You know how I am? I watched, I watched the Jake Gyllenhaal movie. I know how you
As I'm watching the Jake Gyllenhawn movie, in the middle of it, I go like this.
There's no fucking way.
There is no way that this is an American movie.
Of course not.
I'm looking it up and I did.
And then after the Jake Gyllenhawn one, I watch this one.
And I go, oh, dude.
I'm right in that they never leave the call center, right?
I don't think so.
I think there's like, I think there's scenes where not like flashbacks, but like where they kind of go back to that.
But like maybe one.
I think it's basically just there.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, yeah.
It's great.
It's Danish, right?
I even have to ask God about that.
Cool.
So weird, Antoine Fuqua, directed the remake.
Anyway, I'll be in Detroit.
I'll be in Omaha, Kansas City, Chicago.
Go get tickets.
Cleveland, Ohio.
Thank you very much.
Go see my tour.
Christelia.com.
Appreciate you.
Patreon.com slash Matilia.
We like to party.
We like, we like to party.
We like to party.
Wow.
What a weird throwback.
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