Lifeline - 187. Looksmaxxing

Episode Date: November 23, 2025

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Runk RONK Hello everyone Episode 187 So on November 23rd Happy birthday to Mali Cyrus and Vincent Kassel and then also it's going to be Thanksgiving.

Miley Cyrus and Vincent Cassell. Now that's hot out of hair. I'm sitting there. Yeah. Vincent Cassell is like, well, maybe Nani Moore. He's a little old. Yeah. But he's like, for a minute he was like the sexiest guy.

No. Monica Volucci's husband. She's unbelievable. Vincent Cassell? The guy from Black Swan? Yeah. He's talented. He's like a huge French movie star.

No, I know that. He was talented Look him up when he was like I don't know In the 90s Yeah maybe do that Yeah come on dude He's like what

He's all right You don't have good taste in men Look at that dude You don't have good taste in men I don't think you do Dang We've argued about this a lot Like I think Michael Fassbender's really hot

He's a good looking guy No He shrug it off Like he's just like another guy on the street If you saw a guy that looked like Michael Fassminder walking the street Like he's so handsome No I think that he's probably

thin and like frail that's the thing why do you think that because i've seen his body and stuff in in uh in uh in uh on in shows movies and stuff and in my imagination when i'm going to sleep i he's definitely handsome look up like when i think of handsome i think of like uh me and then who else a bigger guy like you can be handsome and like i would never i know people think what's his name's handsome the Timothy Sportier. But, like, I would, I would never think that that guy is handsome. Yeah, yeah, he's a twink.

Yeah, but, I mean, people think he's handsome. Yeah, for sure. He's not like he's ugly. It's just like, dude. So, wait, you can note, you associate handsomeness with manliness? No, with being, like, big, gay, in the pants. Gay! Big and tall.

What do you mean big, though? Like, where are you, where are we drawing the line? We're talking about height. We're talking about weight. We're talking about both. Either. You have to have some sort of thing. You have to have, you know, being a wispy guy, which I feel like that's what he's like.

He may not be. Fassbender's like that? Look up Faspender's height. But it's how thin he is, though. Okay. But he's muscular. Right. He's skeletal muscular.

He's six feet tall, dude. Yeah, yeah. But still, though, he's my boyfriend. Okay. Well, anyway, dude. Just watch what you say. Anyway, yeah. it's not his

I think he's great I don't dislike that guy and I'm not saying he's there's you know it's just like no he's definitely a good looking

and he's married to her guy yeah she's boring actress on the planet yeah she's good looking too but like the same good looking yeah

but he's not boring and she is anyway go ahead but he isn't boring he's not boring he's extremely boring yeah

oh anyway I will be in Jacksonville when does this come out yeah Jacksonville Daytona, Cleveland, Detroit, Oxnard, California.

I got some Southern California dates. Go to Chrislia.com and then come spend New Year's Eve with me in San Antonio. Chrisalia.com, thank you very much. And, uh... There we go, San Antonio. Ding!

Because you're a cowboy? No. Have you ever done it? No. Do you like doing it? No, I don't like hearing it. But you don't know if you like doing it because you've never done it.

so I proved you wrong, gotcha. Well, I'll try, but I pretty much, I've done a lot of stuff like that. Do you want to try it right now? Santone, what did you? San Antonio, ding! Like, you're just going to like that.

All right, well, you're not open to new things. Yeah, well, I'll have it, but... Anyway, uh, shout out to Legends app for sponsoring this show. Legends is a free-to-play social casino and sportsbook, which we both love. Check it out at Legends.com.

Let's Legends with a Z. Legends Okay, thank you very much Of course, join our Patreon at patreon.com slash lifeline luxury It's only five bucks What's five bucks? Less than a Macchiato?

It's less than six bucks Well, Patreon, join the Patreon You're missing out, it's actually really awesome We got a bunch of episodes there And it's beautiful, so that's great You said it like I didn't already Start talking about the Patreon What?

You said that you started talking about the Patreon Like I wasn't already talking about the Patreon I know you were talking about the Patreon I know, but you said it like... Well, I'll have to rewind the tapes, I'll have to watch it, but I won't watch it, and I didn't do that. And definitely subscribe on YouTube to super good.

Now, listen, if you'd like to party live, you'd like to have real-time crazy schneiza happen because I can't say a bad word in the first time I mean it's because YouTube is a P-U, you know what. And join my Patreon. Patreon.com slash Matt DeLea. It's Pimpin-pipin. It's about it, it's yada-y-y-y-y-bong-bing.

It's... Well, the thing about it is... And you're going to love it. Many tears to join. And you know what? If you want it to be... It's never the right... It can be free.

Temperature in this room. And you never let me finish saying anything. Well, you were doing Bing Bong, Bing, Bing, Ding, Dong for a while. So... That's not that important people got the info, right? You do eight to nine minute bits saying the same thing over and over again, and you do in sync dances for nine minutes and I let you. I massage it differently, usually.

I usually massage it differently. I don't care. We're different masseuses. Like, we're not the same masseuse. You're just basically digging your elbow in a shoulder blade for being, wing, wing, gung, gung, gung, dude. All right. I'm just saying. What do you do, Swedish?

No, I, I just move the bit around. I take it, I take it places, you know what I mean? I was talking for, I guarantee if we time that, that was 17 seconds or less. You go for nine minutes doing a backstreet boy song for no reason. I was trying to think about that yesterday. I couldn't even fucking think about it, dude. I couldn't remember what it was, and I got pissed. It's whatever.

Just let me talk, dude. Okay, Bingbang, Bing Bong. No, not Bing Bong. Draw my fucking Patreon because it's fucking rat. That's what's up. Sorry, I said the F word twice. You said what? I said the F word twice.

That's okay. I think we're in. Okay. But yeah, so. Obviously get the merch because it's sick, Lifelinemerch.com, and yeah. But the thing about it is, it's never the right temperature in this room,

and it's fine. It's never the right temperature. It's too hot or it's too cold? Right now, I'm okay, but I'm, it's, What are many layers I'm wearing? It's too hot. Oh, I'm always cold, though, yeah.

Yeah, so am I. Okay. And I'm hot right now. Oh, that's sorry. We don't even know. We're in a simulation, dude. You know what? That's not a good leap.

I put my, I put myself in a mood today just because, because, just because of thinking. Mm-hmm. I hate that, man. That's what brains do when they got too much time on their hands. Too much time, dude, it's not good. We're not in a good place. What do you mean? Everybody's got neuroses through the roof.

anxious through the roof. Everybody's scared and thinking too far into the future through the roof. That's not what these are for. These were not built for that. They're built for whites right in front of you. You got too much time to think. You got too much time to worry. You got too much time to get anxious.

No good. Dude, I did this Corviva thing, which is really awesome. If you have the money, you should check it out. It's one of those things that should be, it should be part of health care. It should be, but it's not because everyone, you know, America wants to keep you sick. but yeah uh it's amazing seriously there's but yeah yeah but it's true and uh so they have like this place that this company is called corviva and they have a an MRI that you sit in for

depending on how big you are i'm a drunk of water so i had to be there for an hour 56 minutes in the MRI inside yeah and they were like do you want to watch something and i was like wait what is it what is what corviva like what are you doing in there you go in the MRI yeah they scan your whole body yeah and they literally see everything in your body like they'll be able to see very small pieces of cancer if you have them they will be able to see um uh you know uh if you have a disc bulge they'd be able to see an if you're going to have an aneurism they'll be able to see all sorts of stuff it's insane he you know he was like like like they see cartilage in your knee and they like you know it's just it's absolutely insane and

it's awesome it is truly awesome i went if you have the money it's in newport beach you really should go check it out. It's preventative health, you know. And I went and they, they, you know, I got, I was clean. I had a good, good bill of health. Corvette? No, it's called Corviva. Corvette is the same as the car. No, it's different. Corvette is a car. Okay. And, and I think it's owned by Chevrolet, and, uh, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, it's, it's amazing. And I did it, And I was sitting in that MRI for 56 minutes, and I, I'm like, dude. That's scary. But, okay.

So I'm glad you brought this up because this is why I bring it up. Because it's not scary. Right. Well, you know it's not. Right. You logically not. Right. But you're still stuck inside a tube for an hour.

I understand. So you didn't get any sensations of claustrophobia? No, no, no. So I don't get claustrophobic, no. but but my point is fear is totally different in different like you know did I get anxiety yeah

well yeah that's kind of what I mean I don't mean like ah well but sometimes you might be like anything could happen who knows I got to you know I gotta I want to get out and you could get scared but like I just realized and I thought about you because

I was like dude I have to start meditating because I was in there for 56 minutes and I was able to calm down at points but there were times where I was just like oh my God dude if I was like a little bit more anxious I'd be like get me the fuck out of here

you know but then I would have to be like I know nothing is happening everything is okay but it's like to be human and to be doing that is insane nothing nothing is happening and even furthermore nothing is changing you're just you're literally

I'm never that still you know even when I sleep So I'm just like sitting there, nothing is changing, and I'm getting more and less anxious and my feelings are, it's very odd. It's really odd. Well, you could turn, I mean, you're not going to do it again, obviously, but you could turn that into a, it's boring, but it's a forced meditation. I know. No, well, I did. Right, right. Yeah. I did because I'm like, well, at least I'm like, but so like, anyway, I'm like. It's just sounds and sensations and arising anxiety and lowering anxiety. It's like all meditation. Really weird. So I started thinking about meditation and I was like, maybe I'll do it. Anyway, then I got out and I was so nervous to get the results. Yeah. They were like, you're fine. Yeah.

They didn't find the cancer that you definitely have? No, they were like, you have little penis. You know, little balls and a little clit penis. Everything's great except your penis is a clit shaped and it's really, you got really small ball sack under it. No, no, no. But you're great. You're fine. No, I had a little thing in one of my glands.

and he was like, it's so small, it doesn't matter. Cut to, dear little of it? No, he was like, he was like, there's no reason to do any further testing on it. It's so small. If it was, if it was this big, he said we'd do testing on it, but there's no reason. So I was like, okay, and then I woke up this morning,

and I was like, wait a minute, what if it gets bigger? So, we're all good. You're a bit of a hypochondriac, aren't you? Not really. You, no, you think you, remember you thought you had cancer in your throat? No, not really, though.

I mean, I did, I was worried because it wouldn't stop going i couldn't stop but no i wasn't worried that it was cancer now you really don't a little bit you really don't do that anymore that's really really crazy because you used to do it all the time it's it's interesting that it was such a simple thing well yeah i'm i'm i've been a lot better i've i've really worked on my ocd and my anxiety no no i mean i mean the oh yeah because my i know i know yeah yeah so straightforward yeah yeah yeah you're gonna kick each other's nice is Not there anymore. Isn't that great? Let's start. Yeah, okay, we could start. So, let's go. What's going on, Chris and Matt? Longtime listening to here, big fan. I'm going to get straight to the point with this one.

Nice. I live in an apartment complex, and we share a laundry room, and by we, I mean me and the other residents. One day, I'm doing a washload, and I get a notification on my phone letting me know that the cycle is finishing. me knowing that the cycle takes about two to three minutes longer to rinse I wait head downstairs to go switcher from the washer to the dryer and as I'm walking into the laundry room I notice a gentleman and his wife standing in front of my washer without him saying anything he just points to a dryer

and I kind of give him the what the fuck look and ask him did you move my clothes from the washer to the dryer and he nonchalantly goes yes oh and to keep it safe for you too i'm not going to use the words that i used against him and the expletives and the things that i said towards him but he wasn't pretty happy with me and he thought i was in the wrong for it now one thing he didn't think about was it wasn't my clothing that was in the washing it was my fiance's clothing so you could think bras And on top of that, where I'm from, you just don't touch people's clothing. It doesn't matter how long you're waiting for the washer to beat that.

Me trying to be the nice guy at the end of the day before I left. Sounds like you already. I somewhat thanked him for doing what he did because I feel like he did it with no malintentine. Yeah, it doesn't. Did I walk out the laundry room feeling a bitch? Yes. But I just want to know, what would you guys do in that situation if? A male figure touched your significant others laundry.

Let me know. Thanks. I think I would just say, were you paying attention to the clothing that you were shifting? Like, that's like sensitive stuff. Well, yeah, because to me it's not even like, yeah, I didn't even think about the bra panty things. But like, I was like, well, what if you don't want to dry certain things? Like, there's many things that don't go on the dryer. I don't think he necessarily started the dryer.

Let's assume he just... Okay, yeah, yeah, okay, okay, okay. Yeah, sure. Okay. Yeah, no, I... Give the shit head the benefit of the doubt. Why not? I don't think it's that big of a deal

if somebody kind of blindly grabs all the clothes out of the washer and puts it on top of, like, the dryer? I do... It wouldn't bother me. It wouldn't bother me if I left my clothes in there over an hour. and it was annoying and I could see myself being like

this guy's like being like an asshole he's not respecting anyone but his his cycle was he got an alert your cycle's done in two three minutes he timed it out he gets down there in two minutes

they're just sitting there waiting for his laundry to be done like dude don't don't I forgot about that hover in any circumstance where someone's hovering I think they're in the wrong and it sounds like this weird ass

couple was hovering over his this might be immaterial fiance's clothing maybe it isn't immaterial i don't know but like yeah i think that's that's that's something here's the deal i am almost dead certain i would do exactly what he did who the guy he would be like what the fuck you like i would get mad really instantly and then i would be like yeah it's all right thanks dude you know Just because that's, if I'm being honest, that's kind of how my brain works. I don't think I would be that way.

It's like, you don't touch other people's shit. Dude, I remember I was in line. I guess, yeah, you don't. But different. But I was in line. I had gotten a sandwich at a grocery store and I was checking out with a couple of other things in my sandwich. And a guy behind me picks up my sandwich and it's wrapped. Yeah.

And he's like, oh, what is this? Oh, that's crazy. I slapped it out of his hand. I said, don't fucking touch my food. Yeah. And that was, to me, I was like, whoa, that was like, way over for you know what i mean like yeah i guess like but but but i was right but but what i did was like what the fuck like and i have that i have that snap reaction touching someone's food is

crazy yeah but it was wrapped in it doesn't matter and then a Ziploc back it was like so but it doesn't matter i agree i agree i mean well it does matter if it wasn't that's absolutely insane then it then it's a punch in the face you know what it but it does it does it still don't touch it yeah yeah um wow yeah uh it's kind of like that though it's like you don't you don't you don't really like do that yeah i guess you're right you don't touch other people stuff kind of as a rule yeah i think like we don't live in fucking norway we don't live in scandinavia this is america like people really deeply value their stuff and i've been in norway you you you act accordingly yeah you know yeah wherever you are yeah i i and then uh i i i i

Were they Norwegian? That might have been a detail. Oh, yeah. If they were Norwegian, then it may have made sense. I think I've moved someone's car before. What are you fucking Magneto? What are you talking about? No, I think that it was, well, it must have been blocking.

There's no way I would move someone's car. How did you get the fucking key? It was in it. And it was started. Oh, dude, that's so funny. When I was started? Yeah. It was on.

And unlocked? Yeah. But the door was open. And it was blocking, I have a memory of this, and it was blocking somebody, and I just go. I mean, the most trusting guy, this guy. Dude, no, remember, I mean, all the time. I just got in and moved it. When you lived in New York, maybe it was like this, but when we did, it was for sure, like these.

People do that? Dude, they would park their massive escalades in front of, like, you know, an Adidas store. Uh-huh. On Broadway. On Broadway. On Broadway and Houston, like, busy, busy, busy. not in a park not not against the curb yeah yeah yeah in the middle of street and leave their door open and walk in they'd exit the car with like fat chains on the neck like dudes that look like big pun

basically and they would just like a flex yes completely and they would slowly stroll into the store shop get what they want walk out dude yeah dude and never ever i mean i never saw it and i'm assuming it never happened nobody ever jacked their car oh i wish that happened don't you of course But, like, there's some kind of, I guess, street rule, this is nothing to do with this guy's shit. But, like, there's some kind of thing where, like, everybody knew, like, don't steal that guy's car. Oh, it was one guy. It was one guy. It wasn't a crew.

Oh. But this would happen more than just one guy. Like, several guys would do this. Wait, you just said it was one guy? No, no. See, he's saying a guy that doesn't have a crew around him. Oh. One guy at a time would do it.

And multiple. Yeah, yeah. What? Yeah, it was like, oh. flex up from like a certain kind of crowd of people that was like I have an escalate I'm obviously rich I have a Bentley whatever like if you jack my shit it won't matter I'm gonna kill you that's so stupid I work I want to rob his car you should go to New York I'm sure they still do it just waiting around just go to Broadway and just stroll around like a tourist I'm like

okay um I wasn't him it was a fat big pun guy but okay uh okay uh Yeah, that's wild, yeah. All right, yeah. I mean, maybe just don't get so heated, but I get it. I also get it. Yeah, it's good to not have temper. I have one, and it's never served me well. Okay, next one.

We have to do the thing. Hold on. But right now, because the thing is... I'm literally almost... I lost. Okay. What you were doing? Bingo.

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with a Z.com. Use the code lifeline. Bing bong bingo. Hey guys, this video is from Matt specifically. I was on your Patreon a couple of weeks ago and I was in the comments and I had mentioned that I was thinking of shaving my head soon and you said, oh, that's awesome. I always think it's badass whenever women shave their heads and it gave me that extra boost of confidence to actually go through with it. So this past weekend, my husband shaved my head completely. And this is my first time in the pool with the shaved head and the cool water feels so good on my head. So, I'm not going to be caring what society thinks and suck in the crank of the corp anymore. That's it. And also, guys, get on Matt's Patreon.

What are you doing if you're not on Matt's Patreon? Yeah. Come on guys. I didn't pay for this. This is not a paid ad. This is just a fan living her life to the fullest and sharing the good news. Okay. Cool.

That's so big. It's a community one or something, maybe? Maybe she's rich. That was so big. But I didn't know. I actually didn't even look at the hole, but I believe you. I actually, you definitely disagree. I can't imagine you agree.

I think shaved heads on women are hot. Like, not like no, not like Shnade O'Connor, but like that, like that, yeah, no. I think it's... Look, if you're going to do it because you want to, because you are, like, sick of having long hair, by all means, do it. It doesn't make you more attractive. I mean, obviously depends on the person. It's not to me.

I, if I'm attracted to a woman, that I, I find that to be attractive. Hair is amazing, dude. I mean, hair grows, though. Yeah, but it's not there when it's not there. Fucking. No, no, no, no, no, no. I mean, dude, if the hair's not there, the hair's not there. It doesn't, you go, oh, yeah, but it's going to grow back.

That's so hot. Of course not. But if, my point is, if you don't like it, it is going to grow back. It's fine. That's what I'm saying. It's fine to do it. It's totally fun to do it. I'm not saying like you imagine hair when there is none and therefore it's...

No, I know. She still has long hair. Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm not a fucking... But I'm just saying, I know it'll grow back and it's always bad to do no matter what woman. No. There are some... I mean, I remember when I was...

This is revealing and probably too much information, but I remember when I was young? You remember when early internet you would like download like literal three second clips of porn? Yeah, and it would take five hours. Yeah. And exactly, and it was actual three seconds. There were like a couple with women with hair like that. Yeah. And I don't know if that left such an imprint on me.

Yeah, that's right. Four imprint. What's that? You don't know what that is? I don't think so. For certain, four imprint. What are you doing? It's a commercial, dude.

Does anybody know it? Really? You know it? Oh, yeah, Taylor. Not culture commercial? Huh? Yeah, I talk about it. podcast but we're not cultured you know

no but yeah it to me I it always looks worse always it can still look fine like that lady looks fine it's not it's not like ooh she cut her hair well yeah she looks good with yeah but like you're like trad guy

what is in this sense like a you're like a trad guy what's that again I forget talking about not cultured what's a trad guy it's not has not it does What does trad mean? Tradd means traditional. Yeah. I said it when he did, so I knew.

So, okay, then why'd you just say traditional? That's the thing I don't like. Because it's a thing now that there's like trad wives, trad dudes, like it's like a trad movement. I call them traditional. It's not really an offshoot. Because I'm traditional. I'm not, it's not traditional to call him trad. It's traditional call them trad.

So I say traditional. So drunk. So drunk. Because I'm not trad. But there's, it's like an offshoot. Not really because it's not like politically charged, but it's kind of. I have an offshoot of the MAGA thing. Yeah, I know.

But it's, it's, you, you like traditionally. Yeah. Female women. Yeah. You know? And, and I like to bing bong slide all over, you know? What is the big? I go over here to the shape of head girls.

I go over here to the girls that are taller than me. I go over here to the girls that are four foot 11. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I mean, I, I, I don't, I like different types of women, but like, I, yeah, No, when it comes to, yeah, just don't shave your head. It's fine. Didn't finish the point, but yeah. I mean, it's just less attractive.

Like anything else, it can be, but I think it can be more attractive. And that's where we disagree, and that's fine. And that's good. And by the minute, but I wonder what percentage of men would think that. Oh, I mean, I would guess I'm in the minority, but, you know, probably. Fuck everybody else. I'm right. Maybe not.

So fucking such a hard stance. Uh, yeah, cool. Well, good, good, you know. Oh, so mad, dude. It's good she did it that she wants, you know, and some, that's the key. That's the key, yeah, yeah, of course it is, of course. Like, you do what you fucking want to do. Of course it is.

And her, she doesn't have a bad head. Like, there are people with fucked up heads. I would have a bad head, I think. But, like, people have bad heads. She's got actually a great head. Yeah, that's true. Fucking lucky, yeah. Because you don't know.

I guess you don't know. Yeah, I guess you don't know. All right. Uh, next one. My mom told me recently that three thought over one got right into a whole lot of coffee. Pause, pause, to go back, pause. And now, Cade a video. He literally took this in a cave in Afghanistan.

And he is, he is from the West. Yeah. But he's like a recruit for like an actual militant, yeah, like group in, in Afghanistan. Yeah, no, thinks, personally, he's super rich and personally thinks that bin Laden was a cover up and he's still alive and he's looking for him now on his own dime. Like to get in with him? No, so he couldn't kill him. Oh, I was thinking the other way. I was thinking he's trying to join up.

You think he's like a hunter. A hunter, yeah. Okay. He doesn't believe he's really dead. That's a good idea for a movie. Okay, go ahead. Yeah, it is, dude. All right, go ahead.

What happened in TV? TV broke. My mom told me recently that drinking over one cup of coffee a day is a lot. And I don't get that at all because you look at us. up and they say you can drink three a day and I drink three with ice and I don't know what to tell her to to make it get off my nutsack um to oh I shouldn't say that but like like she acts like I'm gonna have a heart attack tomorrow because if I drink three cups a day so just let me know what you guys think oh just say shut the fuck up mom no go like this oh okay yeah that's no

those are those people I can't when you once you get to a certain age you're like oh why are you arguing I you know it is your mom so it's a little tougher but it's like you don't you don't live with her right in a way in a way it's actually easier if it's your mom yeah true something yeah if you have that kind of relationship I mean oh yeah thanks mom I could look it up I can relate

in a previous iteration of myself where that would drive me up a wall but dude like people just and I know it's your mom But, like, people just, they want to throw in the thing that they read and the thing that they think they heard from their one doctor who's different from every other doctor. Nobody knows anything. Now more than ever, it seems. And it's like, just let him say the thing and keep moving, dude. Like, just a waste of fucking breath. Oh, thanks.

I'll drink less. And I mean, I used to be like, well, if somebody told me what to do when I was a kid, I was like, I'll do more now. Oh, really? You just made it more coffee. Thanks. Yeah. I mean, that's what kids do. It's kind of what I'm saying.

Like, as you grow out of that, you're just like, just shut the fuck up. And how do you get them to shut the fuck up? You say, yeah, oh, yeah, great. Oh, yeah, it's decaf. Just chill. Anyway. Yeah, that's, I don't know why people do that.

It sounds weird, though, that your mom would say it that much. I don't. Like, maybe be like, mom, I'm going to drink the amount of coffee I'm going to drink, and we're going to stop talking about it now. That might work. Because that's kind of like, how often, what is she bringing up, 27 times? He's making it, it seems like she brings up every day. Right.

Yeah. Maybe he does it with her. And if she does. And if she does, then you really do, should say, hey, like, you need to stop bringing this up. This is, you're being a crazy person. Yeah. Yeah, I agree. All right.

Okay, next. Hey, what's up, guys? Again, for the third time, I have a situation. my wife doesn't close anything so if she uses peanut butter peanut butter the cap will be on it but it's not screwed on all the way protein powder anything with a lid anything with a lid is not going to get closed the right way so guess what always happens i i always kind of grab things by the top of it for some

reason and a lot of the time let's say it's protein powder on my shirt, because when I pick it up, it fucking opens up on me, because it'll look closed. Yeah, we get. That's why it's worse than leaving it off entirely. Not screwed in, you know. So she's a non-closer. She doesn't close anything, and it always ends up on me or the floor. So what can I do?

How can I get this woman to just close things that she opens? I know. You can't change people. No, but you can't, well, that's one truth that I actually. completely agree with, she's not going to change. And if you bring it up, she'll say you're yelling at her. Great. Sedeeper, but I think that

what probably is the best actual solution, even if you whisper. Is to not like be a crazy guy and put stickies on everything. Stikis? But just like put something on the top, like mark the top of everything. So it's like a cue for her to remind to twist it back on. Because honestly,

that's like such a dumb I would do that stupid thing a man would do that for sure men do that women I've never met a woman that would ever

be that like you know what it really truly is it's utterly brainless yeah it's brainless yeah because it really does make more sense to open the peanut butter and leave the lid over on the other side of the thing

and then you just leave the the knife in it and you're just like, it's out there. That's my shit. That's my shit. That's better because then you don't make a mess. You put the lid on as, it's like you're trying to trick your husband. Yeah, you're not a go-getter. You're like, you're like fucking half-ass. You're, you know what I mean? It's bullshit. You make a decision. Don't be in that middle lane. That's the worst. I just think that to get, divorce her to change is to divorce her to, yeah. No,

is to, is to, she's not gonna, as Chris said. on her own if you just ask her to because you obviously have but if you bring it up she'll say you're yelling at her no matter even if you whisper and see even if you whisper and see even if you whisper and and see her whisper and

um right or a note she'll say you're yelling it's deeper and um I think that if you just think it shall say you're yelling to see deeper and if you if you have uh again sticky notes are too much but like just like a little asterisk on top just a reminder

shut the fucking thing you fuck John Malkovich when he's cold. No, dude, yeah. And even if you think it, then she'll say something's different and then you'll start a whole argument. So anyway, next one. Deeper. Hey, Chris, I'm at Jared here.

I love you guys both equally on this podcast, but I'm secretly winking at Matt. I need some advices. He doesn't know himself. I have been told in conversations that when people say their first one or two sentences to me, I have the rude habit of interrupting them and asking, questions about the scenario. Oh, dude. Whereas they could just tell me the information if I just let them talk a little bit longer. To put that in a more specific scenario, let's say I'm talking to Matt, and he tells me that Chris spilt his coffee all over him during the podcast

today. Once he tells me one or two sentences, I would say, oh, was it an accident? Was he upset? Were you upset? What happened? People will say to me, shut the fuck up, and just let me tell you the story, and you'll find out that information. You're lucky. You're lucky. To me. I am showing that person that I'm listening, that I'm digesting their information, and then I have a response to it by bringing up scenarios that may happen as a result of what they've told me. I think I'm doing a politeness and showing the person that I'm actively listening, but they tell me that if you just shut the fuck up, you'll find out the information you want to hear. So am I a dick for doing this? Let me know. Also, I now know why people hold these parts of the microphones, these parts of the headphones out here.

It's because the microphone's right there and it pushes up against your neck or your facial hair. And it makes a fucking sound for a recording like this. And I should be a dick. So, yeah. Cool. Well, that's mine. I'm poking in the butt. I mean, I know someone very well who does this.

Oh, yeah, everyone does, don't they? I don't think that, no. I don't find that. It's very, very annoying. And you're not a dick. I think you are interested in the person of what they're saying It's just let the person tell the story

I want to tell you what I want to tell you I've thought about this a lot honestly Yeah Because of this one person I'm thinking of Mom And no it's not Mom missing No no yeah it is

Oh it is really? Oh yeah And Really Yeah no I'm just talking around And yeah it's mom And You'll be telling a story and she'll want you to know, not desperately,

she'll want you to know that she gets it. Oh, that's what you say. Yes, yes. Mom does do that. Sure, yes. And she doesn't yet. Yes. Yes, yes.

And she's close. Yes. But if she just let me finish, she'd entirely get it. Also, she's not close sometimes, yes. It's deeper. And so. And it's fine. You're right, though.

A lot of people do versions of this. And it is because you're trying to, it's like a skill kind of. Like you're, you're, it's just a skill gone, gone awry, basically. You're, you're, you're thinking, I'm signaling that I'm listening. Yeah. But what you're really doing is not letting the person can communicate with you. Right.

Which is like you're, you're cutting yourself off at the knees. Right, right, right. Now, it's probably a really hard habit to crack, but all you have to do, luckily the the solution is literally to shut the fuck up and that's so easy i i i yeah i i don't think i do that i try not to do that i have done it but um i think i do it unfortunately if i'm being honest with myself i think but but but sometimes i'll do something like this well hold on hold on hold on Hold on. Just to clarify.

Yeah, that's different. It is? Yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah, that's different because you're trying to make sure you're understanding. Yeah, okay. Oh, yeah, that is different. In this case, it's like you're, it's signaling, in a sense. It's signaling that you're saying.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right, you're right. And it's signaling that you are curious, not that you're not that you're lying, but like you want to signal these things to people you care about what they're talking about. How about the actively engaged listeners? though that that that kind of person not he does not what he does that's what he's trying to say he does but no but what i'm saying is the person who's like overboard like they scoot the chair forward and they're like yeah yeah i i want to fucking murder people that do that murder and i have a good friend that does that i'm gonna name is this guy is this guy not like

wait wait which guy his guy or no he's talking about him now him okay it comes down to i think the way the people operate and they think they're doing something a certain way and they just aren't. Right. So and to another, to the person that's talking to him, right, would say to him, look, I, you know, I know other people who actively listen to me and I can't tell you exactly what it is you're doing it, but you're doing it wrong. Yeah. I don't have this problem with I'm telling you. If I come up to you and I want to tell you a story, I want to tell you this story. I want to tell you this story that I want to tell you, it will come out the way I want it to and then ask questions. If I want to talk to your story about how somebody fell down the stairs and then you

say like, oh, what kind of stairs were they? That isn't part of the story. Yes. The story is, you know what? You don't know what the story is. Yeah, but it doesn't make him an asshole. No, no, no, it doesn't make him an asshole. Well, in the sense that it doesn't make him a mean asshole. You're still an oblivious asshole. I'm not, I don't mean that in like, like, it's like, come on, guy. Well, what was it stay as long?

What? Dude, you, you, you know, how low, I go lunacy. I think it's more of a compulsion than you're allowing for. I think it's, I think it's more of like a, I need, I would, I have a need to let this person know I'm listening and, and, and curious and engaged. No, I hate that. Okay. If that's what he's doing, I hate that. I don't, I don't think that. I don't, I don't think that. that's what he's doing.

Judging from that one minute of how I know him. What do you think he's doing is genuinely curious and wants to know certain things about about offshoots and you just think he should just wait to the end? Yes. But that's just my feeling. The other thing I'm talking about is the active listener,

the overboard actor to show you I'm listening, I fucking hate that and I have a friend that does that, mom. No, who does that for real? Mom doesn't do that. David Sullivan does that. Oh, yeah, he sucks, dude. No. Well, his head gets too close to you, and then you're like, why is Saturn near my face?

David doesn't do that. David does it, yeah. Why is literally why is Neptune right in front of my head? Okay, that's so rude. He's a great, great guy. And he's got a huge head. Oh, you know what? I know what you're talking about.

Yeah, he'll be like, yeah, oh, yeah. And I'm sure that doesn't, that doesn't, and I'm sure that then this happened. And you're like, dude, man, you know what? I'm not going to tell this story to you, dude. I'm going to write a book. You can read it if you want. Because this is fucking driving me nuts. Uh-huh.

He'll scoot his chair up and be like, and I bet that didn't feel good for you, huh? And you're like, what it's like? You know what it's like? You know what it's like? Yeah, exactly. That is what it's like. And I'll fucking...

Dude, I like the way David listens. No, no, no. He does listen. He does listen. He does listen. He does listen. He listens to you. He is interested, but there's also that extra,

I want this guy to know that I'm listening. And I don't want that. I know what you're talking about. I'm saying it doesn't bother me at all. So you like having things the size of the planet Earth right in front of your face while you're talking? The size of his. This is getting out of control.

This was a great submission, but I think it's more compulsory than you're allowing for. And I think that the reason he's constantly told this, first of all, you're fucking a lucky guy. Who? This guy. That you have friends that tell you that that's annoying. Oh, yeah.

Because a lot of people don't have friends that have the balls to say, hey, dude, you do this thing and it sucks. Oh, yeah. When the thing sucks. And if more people had friends like that, how much better would the world be? Oh, dude, I do it. I say, hey, man, that's not correct. And it's not the story or the point I wanted to make.

You want to hear this fucking thing or what? A fucking absolute dickhead. Dude, it's bonkers. When you say compulsatory, I think of it as more of the David thing, not that. I see. But I see what you're saying, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It sounds like he does it all the time, is why I said that.

That guy, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think it's compulsive in the sense that it's like he's learned it and can't unlearn it because it's just ingrained in it. I used to have... He can change. I used to have... No, of course he can change. I'm not saying he'll never...

He wants to change, it sounds like. But like... Right. And he'll be able to if he just zips his mother fucking... Trap! John Malkovich and Evil and John Mockovic. No, this guy's cool. Great submission.

I think... I used to have a girlfriend. I went out with her for years, maybe two. And it drove me. me nuts, bro. She's great, but she, we were romantically involved. She was my girlfriend. I was her boyfriend. We saw each other all the time. Oh, that's implied, but yeah, go ahead. No, no, but I have to tell you these things before I get to the thing. Did she have brown hair? Just kidding. Her stairs were nice. And so, but she, she, she, she, how tall was she? She would say, uh, we would be

talking and and together for like an hour already in our hang and she would be like how are you bro and it would just shut me down dude it would be like can you can you say it on what the fuck were we doing for an hour can you say who it is or you want to wait uh-uh you can't say i don't want to no okay but you'll tell me after yeah okay but you'd go i know exactly what you're talking about you go you go what how dude oh dude we're not friends that just found out oh what a coincidence we're working together after a few years i i i'm inside you all the time and we've been talking for an hour yeah is the main point how are you how are you if you walk in the door is different even then as a girlfriend boyfriend boyfriend it's still weird that's not

weird. Yes, it is. How are you to your boyfriend or girlfriend? What are you a fucking alien? Bro, if I walk into home and I say to Kristen, so how are you? She'll be like, huh? Well, if you did it like that. That's how she did it. Okay. But you're not saying the way she did it. You're saying that you would do it on an hour into hanging. No, well, it's both, right? Both. Yeah, both. How are you? I think that, I think even that's crazy. I think there's a, there's a kind of person that does it exactly the way you said it, that's how she would do it. That is truly like a supervillain in the world.

Like that is, to say nothing bad about whoever you're talking about. No, no, she's a great, great person. That is like, great person. That is like, like, Via Cong and the trees kind of shit where you're just like, whoa, dude, where the fuck did that come from?

Unfair. You know what I mean? And every time she did it, I would go like this. What do you mean? Like, since we, what did she started hanging out an hour ago what did she say she'd be like just like how are you like have you ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha has fucking amnesia and i'm like who are you but but what if she was saying who are you you can realize but you can see how i am and we've been

we're in the middle of dinner yeah i i i drove me nuts yeah and then and then she would be like because sometimes and you know look i i i i definitely am guilty of talking about things that don't matter all the time you maybe she would be like i don't know what it was but it was like it's the same no i don't think it was related to that maybe not but it's the same thing when when when i'm driving with david sullivan and he's just like the whole earth is inside your car no it's not that is because the size of his head but so you're saying he is a big head but i don't know if that's neptune it's small in the earth so all right so but for for for him to be like hey man how's therapy been

And I'm just, in the, I have a therapist to talk to that about. Dude, no, this is, you're getting your lines crossed. Am I? Yeah, you are. Am I? How are you in the middle of an hour, after an hour of being with your girlfriend is maniacal to do? Yes. To ask you how therapy's going is what a friend does to check in on a friend.

I know, but there's a way he does it. well now we're getting somewhere else he goes how's therapy been or something and i will just respond like no no no no no see we're not doing that how does he do it though convey it to us so we know what you mean and he goes come on man we can't just talk about pants or something yeah all you want to do always is talk about pants yeah and i'm just like because dude i go to therapy for therapy you're my pants friend you know needs more therapy pants for a hundred gazillion percent pants friends like a children show And I'm just like, can't we just talk about fucking, like, you know, working out, uh, times you've busted a nut, you know what I mean? A fucking in-cell, dude.

A fucking in-sell. Just fucking looks maxing nonstop. Let me talk looks maxing. Let me talk about, talk about how your penis looks right now, dude. Is it fucking, uh, flascy? and pasty and up against your leg. Fuck yeah, dude. Don't ask me.

So how's syrup you going? So yeah, but how does it make you feel to... No. Oh, no, no, no. We're not doing that. What someone says that to me? I go like this. My penis is stuck up against my leg

and it's flaccid and it's fucking sad looking. Needs more therapy. But I would never say that to my therapist. a fucking crazy guy you know just like just fuck you do you your friends your friends asking you how your therapy is going because he cares about you and you're an asshole can't we just a hundred percent i'm right yeah and you know i'm right if you asked me though it'd be

different what the fuck's wrong with me i don't know something keep going to therapy maybe you'll fucking find out what the fuck's wrong with me I mean, I get it There's so much shit wrong with me No, no, no, that's not the right way I must be a genius No, that's not the only answer No, I mean the dumbest guy

On the planet, dude Dude, the other day I was, you know, not to talk about But was it the gym And I was thinking about something Looks Maxin And I was thinking about it, dude And I was like, thinking about something

And I go, oh, do you ever hear the time Where you're like, wow, if I was a dumb person, this is the conclusion I would come to. I had, I don't remember what it was, but I had such a clear vision of like, oh fuck, if I was a dumb idiot, the conclusion would be this, but I'm not, so I just don't know the answer.

Yeah. And I just kept on fucking repping it out, dude. Yeah. But yeah, it's, you're not, basically, if you're smart, you just don't know, you're just fucking checking yourself how dumb you are, you know? That sucks. anyway.

The Dunning Kruger effect. Right. Right. The Diane Krueger effect. Diane Keaton effect. She died. Too soon. I watched Father of the Bride last night.

Bory! Oh, she's in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, she is. She's fucking great, dude. She's one of the best ever. I'm sorry, I didn't know we were moving on. No, it's all good.

Okay. It's all good. Diane Keen is worthy of any conversation. Go ahead. Hey, Chris. Hi, Matt. Just came from the gym and ready to hear. the macros.

Nice. Looks Maxx. First of all, how beach is it to try to throw something from the distance into the bin? Miss, then walk to the thing, pick it up, and then throw it into the bin from the distance. Nine out of time. It happens in the gym where I go to. My question is actually about the fear of becoming too important work. So I'm working at a pretty large fintech company, and recently I'm working in a small team.

So recently, my team lead has been asking me all the time, like whether I want to become a team lead in the future because our team is expanding. My answer has always been kind of like no, because I'm kind of doing the thing I'm doing right now very well, and I don't want to have this extra amount of pressure on me by potentially being somebody's boss, which means managing other people and yada, yada, yada. I'm kind of like introvert naturally, so I'm not sure if I would enjoy it and if I would then have energy for other stuff in my life, like my hobbies after work i'm just afraid of bringing work back with me home but it's gotten to this stage where she keeps asking me and it's making me doubt as well like should i give it a try

you know uh which means potentially being miserable for a while uh or learning how to deal with it or should i trust my gut feeling and like being perfectly okay with where i am just to have the peace of mind that i'm not going to kill myself with stress Sounds like you're happy. Of course, it will come with, like, a little bit of a salary raise, but I don't think it's at the moment, like, so significant to, like, maybe consider it. Yeah. Good addition. Anyways, any kind of input will be great about, like, the fear of becoming too important at work.

Thanks. Bye. I love you guys. The way, I mean, the way he put it, you know, to becoming too important at work. Genuinely. I know. So I love it, though. I got to start saying that, actually.

I genuinely, am I too important at work? Am I too important in general? anyway I was at the DMV the other day so no but I I think he it sounds like he's happy and he's just don't it sounds like you're doing what you want to do

and it's annoying that they're asking so just say I'm actually good if they're but I look that you're this guy's young obviously well how old do you think that guy is 30 maybe yeah about 30 let's say you're really young

you're obviously really good at your job. I don't know what you do exactly, but like you said it's in tech something, right? If they want you to be a team leader that might also mean they want you to put you on a track toward another thing. And like, of course that could mean a dip in quality of life,

but like, is there a version where you can say I'm willing to try it out? and if I'm not into it I'll just slip right back into my role and somebody else can come in like when shit like this arises I think it's kind of important to be like I'll yeah I mean if you keep bringing it up

right right right right like you see something in me like I think the fear of too much work or too much responsibility it's like the fuck you know like if it is that it is then you then you might then if you approach him the right way, then you can go back to your previous position. But, like, I mean, I wouldn't, I don't, I don't, I don't think you should say no.

I don't know. Wow. I mean, I know the way he said it was, I don't want to be too important at work. But what he means is he just doesn't want to have too much work. I get that. Right? Right? He was clear about that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, he didn't want to take homework home with them. He doesn't want to eat, I don't know. To eat into his hobbies. Yeah. But like, but it might not. You've never been that. Yeah, sure.

So if you could do it for a trial period, then okay. It's like somebody asking me if I want to fucking write a fucking Marvel movie. Like, oh, it sounds like so much fucking work. It's so many people with input. But like, what I say no? Like, fucking no. I might hate it and never do it again. I might get fired.

I might quit. In fact, I would quit and get fired. But, like, I would say yes. Captain America. Interior. Captain America, bing bong, bing bong, bing bong. I mean, would be the best. Marvel movie

Oh my god, dude Bing bong Bing bong Bing bong With the shield Yeah, I don't know I just I think you say yes

to shit like that in life in general But I get it And if you don't If you really don't want to Then don't But my advice would be to

Do it Hmm My advice is Don't do it But why you're happy bro you're happy you're happy you don't want to do it maybe you can do it later who cares i get it i get what this guy's saying i get it too i'm not like i get it i get it you mean to it more yeah i relate to it yeah yeah it's because you're cool with being a little fucking plebeian

whereas i'm going to be president one day no and it's different for you i get it it's like dude people are like why don't you write a fucking tv series why don't you uh you know do you do something I like stand-up I want to do stand-up I understand this is a little different though because he's literally

being offered a specific position at his job that would be like you shifting focus in your career you know it's like it's just to move up at where he already is

so it's not as uncontained and like totally into the wild as that but I point taken but yeah dude fucking I don't know I say do it

he says don't do it This is all pretty common to, like, you know, people don't always want to take the next opportunity. Like when, so in this case, I tend to agree with Chris here. Let me ask you, though, how much do you think whether subconscious or not? I mean, I'm not going to psychoanalyze this fucking guy. Do you think that's fear? It doesn't seem like that's what he's doing. It doesn't seem like it, but what do we know?

No, yeah, I know. Like, if it's, what you, hold, oh, oh, wait, let me rephrase. You said you hear that a lot. Yes. How much of that? not him specifically, of that you hear, do you think that's just fear of moving? I think it's obvious when it seems like it's fear talking, where it's like you know you kind of should be doing it or rising to the occasion, but you're worried about it. But often

people are like, I like where I am. More responsibility means like, you know, things, like there are boundaries that they have that they don't want to cross. I think it's obvious. It can be not obvious, but with this vibe and this feeling, it seems like he's being straightforward. He's also foreign. You know, work isn't everything to fucking foreigners. They just fucking sometimes chill. And I mean, unless they're Mexican they work like a fucking dog, but that's true. But you know what I mean? It's a different thing.

Europeans have a way better idea of work than Americans. Yeah. It's always, Americans think of work so backwards. Did you not think about that until now? No, I didn't. No. Actually. That was the first thing I thought of. Yeah. It's a good observation, actually. Yeah. I mean, look, I'm not...

I actually think America and the way America's work ethic is is like one of the things that's going to doom us because of the AI influx, right? And I think Europeans in general

have a better idea of what work is, which is work is not life. Also, you're never so many workaholics in America that it's been ingrained in their mind their self-worth is linked to their work. And also that's so wrong. You'll never take a British AI robot seriously because of the way they sound. But, yeah.

I mean, people will program their... I cut your beans. People will pro, this asshole will program his... He will. He will. To have an English accent. His fucking chatty is already that, yeah. Exactly.

It is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. What do you call those people who just fucking... Anglophiles. Yep.

You're an anglophile. Yep. You want beans and a tomato. I cooked it for you. Oh, yummy, yeah? Over a shoulder. He's fucking fat, too, a little bit. Oversolder

What do we mean? Oh, yeah, I mean, yeah, over your shoulder. I want to clarify. I mean, like. Oh. Go ahead. I don't think I'm an anglophile because, look. I don't want to be there.

I don't, I mean, I like British people. But, like, I just, I used to really like the monarchy, you know, and read books about it and Winston Churchill. Yeah, I remember that, yeah. And then. Right. And then, you know, I don't like the food and I don't want to be there. So how much of an anglophile can you be?

An anglophile, look. If there's a British guy around. Alexander Hamilton was a fucking anglophile. It didn't mean he wanted to live in England. It meant he was influenced by English culture and was obsessed with the way that they lived. The bottom line is, you respect me more if I'm like, oh, no, that's it, you respect me more.

And my point was that you're like Alexander Hamilton. So congratulations. Do you respect me more if I say, wait a minute or do you expect me more respect me more if I go oh long now say it do it again a minute oh long now do I respect you more which way oh long now I mean if you sounded like a fucking deaf guy oh long oh long now made it offensive and and uh yeah the the then the second one is more annoying if that what was the question Which one's more?

Oh, I would respect the first one. Wait, wait a minute. But if you did a regular English accent, then maybe... How long now? I mean, people have a weird thing with English accent. I know, no, no, no. I know, I know, I'm just saying. They think it's like a commanding, like, very confident...

Some of them are. Thing, yeah. Yeah, I mean, Cockney and Manchester are fucking different, but yeah. Anyway... This is what it is, but I just don't think... You should do it. You want to do one more? No.

Everyone gets with the get. If you want another one, you're going to sign up for Lifeline luxury. There you go. Such a fucking hard ass. Hey, the bottom line is, I'm a businessman. And if you want to have another one, sign up for the Lifeline luxury, it's beautiful.

It's beautiful. The last one we did is fucking gorgeous. It's all, it's fucking gorgeous. Who knows how this next one will be? But I'm just saying, dude, you're like this. It'll be gorgeous. But you're like, unlike this guy, you're like being like we got to work more

and I'm like dude I'm Norwegian I'm from Norwegian I don't need to do that life is about more than just work I'm from Norwegian dude can I have a ticket to Norwegian please I slipped one in right at the end there

what a joke good joke hey if you want to go longer I can go longer I got fucking crazy jokes but right now I don't want to That's exactly what I'm saying. I think life is more about work. And I could also joke on my own time.

We could stop it and have a fucking ball. Well, I guess we're going to stop, even though I want to keep going. But it has been over and more. Sign up for Lifeline luxury. If you want to get it, I'm a business man. And that's that. All right. Thank you.

Patreon. Patreon.com slash Lifeline luxury. I'm a business man. I'll be enjoyed. So drunk, dude. Also, Patreon.com slash Mattaily. Bing bang, bing, bim, bim. Also, look at all the door dates, Chris has.

Yeah. Go see him. Say it. Hello, hello, hello, please, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello.