Lifeline - 188. Jack Ryan But Cool

Episode Date: November 30, 2025

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Messed up already. Well, it's 188 sounded like 98, but it's 188. It's a 188. We'll be in one. It's 188. You're saying it's so fast. But, but, but it will be 198 in 10 weeks. Correct. It'll be 2000, it'll be 2006. It will be. But right now it's Sunday, November 30th. We hope your Thanksgiving was good. Had a nice holiday. we're getting right into December. So here we go.

Roan and Roanin'n and right into December, right? Uh-huh. Happy birthday. Billy Idol, Chrissy Teigen, Winston Churchill, Ben Stiller, and also Woody Allen. Okay, Woody Allen. Happy birthday, okay? Yeah, how old is he, by the way? I don't even know.

How old is he's got to be old? He just wrote his first book, which is the same? First book? Ever. First novel, yeah. Oh, wow. He's 89, well, so he's 90 on the day this comes out. Oh, got it.

Okay. So right today. moment he's 90 so and also it's a lot of Billy Idol Ben Stiller Winston Churchill it's a crazy day dude it's a wild day huh yeah it's a crazy day for for celebrities being born and also people that changed the world a little bit like Ben Stiller yeah yeah uh changed the world like Chrissy tegan shout out to led to the Legends app for sponsoring this show Legends is a free to play social casino and sports book check it out at legends.com that's Legends with a Z I'm going to be in let's see, it is, I'm going to be in Ontario, California, Oxnard, California.

I will also be celebrating New Year's Eve in, what do you call it, San Antonio. I will not be doing, I said on Golden Hour, I'll be doing Utah, I will not be doing Utah. I'm changing that, but I will be in Cleveland and Detroit next weekend. Nice, dude. Go to chryslea.com and other dates coming. The motor city, huh? Detroit? that's right and what's Cleveland called again Rock Hall of Fame

Rock City Mm-hmm Rock City dude Detroit is called Rock City No Detroit is called Rock City No no Detroit is called the Motor City What's Detroit Rock City then

Detroit's the Motor City What's Detroit Rock City A song by DJ Quick No Or the Quad City DJs No Detroit Rock City is a thing That was a movie Oh

Oh yeah So I don't know what that is But Eddie Furlin long's in it? What is that? It was 99. Oh, 99? I don't even know this. Oh, you don't? I do.

That's why I said it. Who made it? Did it say? I don't know. Adam Rifkin. Oh, wow, weird. What's he do? I don't know this movie at all. Nothing really. I mean, just a working person.

So, but yeah, that was, so what's, so it's not Rock City? Detroit isn't Rock City? I thought Detroit was Motor City, and Cleveland is something about rock yeah well it's the it's the rock hall of fame i know that okay i just mean like the name of this you know i don't know yeah yeah yeah yeah get it i get it get it get it but i don't know um but anyway uh that's whose you know birthdays are it is and that's what cities are what but you know some of them so yeah but that's fine so anyway that that's what that's uh that's where i'll be You can sign up for Patreon, patreon.com, lifeline luxury,

and that's what keeps this show going. Patreon.com slash, like, yeah, right. Yep, and there's 70 plus Eps on there. I mean, if you're not signed up, just wash yourself in those. Yeah. And just bathe in them, you know? Yeah, too live apps, bonus live apps in there for you, bathe in those as well, you know.

You want to take another great, steamy bubble bath. You sign up from my Patreon, Patreon.com slash Matt Delia. I have a bubble bath party every time because we do it live. You know what I mean? We go for forever. So it's fun.

You pop in, you pop out. It's a party. The bubble bath thing I don't get, but I do understand. I was sticking with the bathing thing. Yeah. Okay. Rode right into it with bubbles.

That's fine. I, uh, how do you feel? I feel, yes, you know what? Yesterday, dude? I woke up and I felt good I got like nine hours of sleep and I just when you get eight nine hours of sleep

which you don't I never do okay so then what do you feel like when you get that fantastic or all groggy and yeah all groggy and yeah I felt so good

I woke up I did my workout I worked out for a long time ate good ate really well right then it's you every day though well yeah but I really hit it out of the park yesterday

okay then i woke up uh then i went to sleep at you know uh midnight woke up at eight something you know seven it's eight so i can't believe that yeah so and didn't and and and and didn't feel great like the day before today yeah and and and uh i didn't feel bad or anything don't you're talking about just physically you mean your mood i guess both i feel like physical is my mood sure Well, yeah, I mean, it has so much to do. Yeah. But so, yeah, I, I, but I'm like, I didn't do anything different. If anything, I, I did the day before better.

So why do I feel like this now? It's not one. I know, I know it's not. But it's just, it should be. Yeah, but you also had the, whatever emotion, I mean, I don't, yeah, whatever it was that you'd experience yesterday, you also had those emotions. Yeah, yeah, yeah, mental state, whatever was, you know, I myself, even though I sleep like four, five hours max a night.

Man, I don't know how you do that. I had like a three month, maybe almost three month window where I would like not wake up with extreme dread. Oh, yeah. And it was so nice. And then it crept back this week. And so that's really, really, really great for me. Really great for me in my whole life and everything in it.

To wake up and instantly open your eyes and feel dread pouring down on you like a cold plunge bath. Yeah. I wonder if you did cold plunge, if it would help. They say that helps a lot. I've heard that, but I'm not ever going to do that. Why not? Because I'm me, I guess.

Yeah, but why don't you sometimes just be like, let me just do it? Well, because I don't have a cold plunge breath. I'd have to go somewhere. Right, right, right, right, right. It's a lot, yeah. So you've never done it? I've never done it. I've done it, you have one, yeah, yeah.

But you have one? Yeah, yeah. It's not, it's at my other house, but yeah. I mean, you know, baller. Yeah, not really I mean, you know The housing market sucks I can't sell it

So it's all good, um So Yeah, anyway It is what it is You know what I mean Yeah, dude But my legs are sore And I feel good

I just, you know I wish it was one to one like that Like you said Yeah man It's totally random Everything's random Walk out here Get hit by a bus

You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I know And then I was thinking about Like dude You tried so much to be healthy And then it's like What if you just get hit by a bus? Yeah

I knew this, when I was a kid, I'll never forget. One of my best friends had two living grandfathers. One was as big of an asshole as you could be, fat, unhealthy, and just like a villain, you know? And the other one was like, just genuinely kind, sweet. but not only that ran every day ate well like lived

like well you know just like 63 just like healed over and died just this other guy just lived in his fucking 90s no just died

that's the thing I don't understand dude come on that's just the thing I don't understand do you know what I mean just it's random yeah you know what I'm saying

there's only now folks live it up like me right now i got my feet up i'm zed up from the feet up what does that mean jeet up what is what is what is what is what is a gangster zed up is that something no okay well that's what i am jeet up from the feet up means you're gangster i'm zed up from the feet up do you guys have any like can you hear me yeah in there okay so insecure uh do you have any mantras that you live by that are like help you with the thoughts of dread or or life rips yeah yeah i have one yeah i mean it's not really a mantra but it's just that the past is a memory the future is an abstraction and the future will never come anyway so there's only now

so sad damn mine is life rips and uh it's been that way for a long time and then sometimes when i lose sight of that people remind me of it because of i said it so much and sometimes like my fans will be like that means a lot to me and then i go like huh yeah that's cool and then that makes me feel better so so your mantra is having other people tell you your mantra no my mantra is my mantra and then he forgets his own mantra when it gets when it gets weak when i get weak my fans lift me up sometimes which is pretty nice that's great yeah when i saw one pair of footsteps that i realized no no no your fans were carrying you no no no no that honestly that's that's the second day in a row i heard that really reference reference yeah it was me i carried you

Remember the DMX did it? I didn't hear that yesterday, but that's enough. It was me, I carried you in the sand or whatever. I don't remember him saying that. So sacrilegious to say that, you know? Go on how? Went to how. I like how DMX would just pray in the middle of his concerts.

Lord. He would? Oh, yeah. Big time. Did he die? 50 years old. That's terrible, dude. Yeah, terrible.

He was awesome. Remember he had a crazy funeral. All the bikers out. Oh, yeah. dude the rough riders thing fucking guy that guy he was the best i mean i remember i mean when he was big he was like my thing yeah my whole shit yeah he was the best he was awesome clearing your throat all right well let's go in let's get into it huh yep so chris matt you know why do i hear people like jo rogan saying that hip hop's not what it used to be i swear

i have a whole playlist of like 30 songs that were made in the last five years and it's hotter than it's ever been and i call bullshit i've seen maybe three or four videos in my feed about how hip hop or street culture's dying say what you want about it but i just want to know what is that about what do you know because i know you're a man of hip hop i mean and do you think it's better than it's ever been because i do wow uh and i'll throw some names out there like North Posse. Don't have names. I also wanted to mention that it's a real travesty that you don't smoke weed.

I think you're the right guy for the jobs. Oh, wow. So really, I think, reconsider your priorities. Okay. I hear you. Thanks. I think people are just going to say that forever. It doesn't matter how good hip hop.

People say that about everything. Oh, they used to be good. Everything's getting worse. I mean, people never don't say that, right? I mean, I know what you mean, but, but there are obviously things that are getting better that people talk about that people are more likely to be like, oh man, I used to love this thing, but now it sucks than they are to be like, you know what, is new and getting better all the time, this thing. People don't do that. Right, but well, true. But people also grow out of

stuff and they're just like, you know, I mean, dude. Yeah, no, I mean, I like stuff from the 90s the most. That's because I was formed in the 90s. So I like, you know, whatever, DMX or movies from the 90s more than I like them now. I mean, that seems so obvious. Joe Rogan's like, what is he, like 60, not 60, something like that. And like, obviously he's going to think that. What's he going to be like, oh, rap is the best it's ever been? No way, dude.

It's all subjective, though. I don't think hip-hop's better now, but I don't really keep up with it. the only hip hop I even really know is what I grew up listening to when I used to love hip hop now I don't and I don't even know about it at all but even Kristen was like oh man back in the aughts you know it was so so fun and I'm like oh my god that was terrible

the aughts were awful yeah I know I know but she's like remember Chingy you not actually but and I'm just like dude she's like remember Murphy Lee and I'm just like that was when And that was when I started saying, man, what's up with hip hop? It sucks now. Right, yeah. You know?

So, like, it's just like what, it's your formative years and stuff. And this guy, obviously, is a hip-hop fan and keeps going with it. I mean, look, you know, Naz is still out there making good music. There's still guys, I don't know who North Posse is, if that's what he said. But also, they don't. Tech-Dine, that's the guy you like. Yeah, I love Tech-Dine. Yeah, I couldn't think of it the other episode.

But they also, but they also, what do you call it? the people the media whatever you want to say what gets presented changes it just it gets the simpler stuff

gets pushed out it's not like the other stuff isn't being made anymore it's just harder to find I mean that's probably that's definitely true about hip hop for sure I would imagine

yeah yeah yeah and most of music movies less so well no I mean not not big temple movies I mean big temple movies used to be fucking you know

I mean, the only one I can think of recently that's kind of done something is that isn't like a Marvel movie that is still like a powerhouse is that one with the Arnold Caprio that came out. Oh, a one bad off there or another, yeah. That's it though. Yeah.

You know, and it's because of him and I guess a director. Yeah, Paul Thomas Anderson. Yeah, but I mean, no, I mean, he's just the only movie star of remaining besides Tom Cruise, that people would just go see no matter what the movie. is. Right. But yeah,

that movie had a huge $200 million budget or something. Right. It's crazy for that movie. That kind of movie. It is, but it wouldn't be crazy in, no. You know, 1999. Yeah. Yeah. Then, yeah. I mean, the next or the peak of those kinds of movies. And people would go see them, but those would be the movies that people would flock to. Right, yeah.

Which is crazy now. It's not at all. At all. What I meant about the music thing versus movies is that I would imagine just knowing what I know about other genres of music is that there is really great music being made it's just getting buried

it's not getting pushed on platforms that are that are burying them and I would imagine that's true of hip-hop as well but movies there's a ton of independent movies being made still just like there always have been but they're all pieces of shit because they're trying to be a part

of the bigger marketplace and they don't have the means to do so and they just don't have the money to do it and dude the whole thing about being indie in the first place not to get too into the weeds in the 90s was like you were doing something different and that's why people ended up giving a shit right you weren't like a lesser version of a 30 50

70 million dollar movie you were a weird fucked up thing like Skinnamarink it's like a perfect example of a modern good example of what a fucking indie thing should be right like that is so different whether you like it or not and what exactly Did you see it? Yeah, and it's fucking,

it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, but like, that's kind of the, obviously the point, and that's what makes it interesting. And that movie made like three million dollars or something, right? Right. Right. Which is crazy for that movie. Yeah.

Oh yeah. Um, considering what it cost and, uh, you know, anyway. Yeah. That's how it is. That's how it is with them. And it's, I don't know how it gets any better. I mean, it's hard to, it's hard to, but yeah, you're right, huh? It's that people keep trying to recreate the big stuff,

and it's just... It's cyclical, though. I mean, with movies, it happened, you know, I don't... With technology now, there's no, like, foreseeing anything. Like, I read this article the other day about... It was about everybody predicting what the internet was going to happen once the internet came, like, in the late 90s.

Right. And it was just like a compilation of, like, 100 brilliant people being dead wrong about what was going to come, you know? Right. And they were comparing that to... to the AI thing. And so there's no, especially with tech,

there's no way to know where movies and music will go. But movies at least have been cyclical. Like, 60s and 70s were great. 80s were a low point. The 50s were a low point. The 90s were a huge peak. The aughts were an utter dead zone.

Right. And then you kind of pull back up in the 2010s. And then now we kind of have dipped back down. You know, so it's weird, yeah. We're due, dude. Yeah, we're due. We're definitely good.

And that's where I come in. Nice. I want to make Deuce Bigelow, Mail Gigolo, three. Nice. Okay. Probably exists straight to video. All right. Next one.

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November 27th to December 7th. Conditions apply. Details online. Light line, what's up? I live on a dorm floor. There's a guy that fakes a British accent. He's from Arkansas. We have a couple guys who are foreign exchange students from Britain

who actually have a British accent, but this guy fakes it ever since he comes to know them. Oh. What do I do? I've already made fun of him. I said, Mom, well, he's not. about his mom i said mama mum he doesn't respond what should i do to make him realize he's faking his british accent love you guys especially matt chris don't make up anything that i didn't say

okay don't make up anything that he didn't say like i do yeah uh nice i don't why are people always saying they like you more bothersome okay um i don't know man um yeah no i um what's the oh i know how to know how to get it across him, look him dead in the eye and say, hey, you're from Arkansas. Why are you speaking like you're from Leeds? Leeds mattress? And then when he tries to get out of it, say, uh-uh, I ask you a question. Hold on now, hold on now. Or maybe, yeah, just start doing it way over the top and see what he does.

I dated a woman like this that we went to, I don't know why we were in Florida, but we were in Florida. and they were speaking with a southern accent there at like we were at like a waffle house and she just all of a sudden started talking like that while they were talking like that and I was, I know who you're talking about you're looking at her and I couldn't understand what was happening and I thought she was fucking with them

and then afterwards I didn't say anything because I'm looking at her because I slowly realized oh does she not know she's due? Did she whatever it is right? Yeah. And then I was like, you're talking in a southern accent.

She's like, no, I'm not. Oh, wow. And I was like... Yeah, you are. Yeah, you are. And I, do you believe somebody when they say that? Yeah, I think that the people don't realize even... It's most obvious when it's the way someone speaks because it's in front of your face and you hear it.

But I think people are so swayable and influenced, influence. What's the word I'm looking for? influenced yes dude what is the word you know I'm talking about I'm in a cloud bro persuaded no

persuadable is a yeah I know but it's not the I'm looking for yeah anyway impressionable yes and they just get

they're like a feather in the wind and they just go the way other people around them are going dude I mean I dated a girl who lived in

like not lived but spent like three months in England for whatever. I don't even remember. This was so long ago. And increasingly as we would talk on the phone because it was long distance for that period of time, she just sounded more and more English.

And then she got back and she just spoke like an English person. And I was like, hey, you're from, literally from San Marino. But you don't think that she was doing that subconscious, not subconscious. You don't think that she knew she was doing that? Not at all.

Really? Yes. I don't think so. See, I don't believe that. I believe people think like, I believe there's a small part of that person that thinks I want to be interesting and I want to see what I can get away with. I mean, that I don't know, man. Really?

That's just not how I think people think. I think people don't think. I think you think, you ascribe more stuff. Yeah, I know. Like as agency. Yeah. I ascribe more stuff as just like people, they're not, their brains aren't online like the way we think they are, you know?

No, I know. I mean, I would agree with you, but I don't know about that specifically. That's pretty... Yeah. And then it stuck for like a while, too, which was the weird part. It didn't come back right away. Yeah, well, then why did it change so quickly? You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, no, I know. I don't know. I mean, like, it's one thing if you're... It did come back, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, yeah. I don't know. It's one thing if you're surrounded by it, I guess.

So maybe she was, but like, you know... But would you start talking like... Like, like, there's certain accents that it doesn't, work for. Like if I was run a bunch of Africans, I wouldn't start talking like this. Right, right, right, right. Well, the one thing I was going to say, which is probably going to annoy you, is that, uh, the American Southern dialect is very, very similar to the English. No, I agree. That doesn't piss me off. Okay. And, and it doesn't, it doesn't sound like it, no, necessarily, if you hear one

then the other, but they're very, they're like super closely linked. Yeah. And, and it doesn't, and it doesn't, it doesn't sound like, it doesn't, it doesn't sound like, Yeah. And it's not that much of a drift as well, I don't know if it's obvious, but it's obvious to me. It's not like it's like developed a French accent is what you're saying. Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, see what you're saying. But still, just be like, hey, why do you talk like you from Manchester? If I just, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, where are you from? If I shot a movie, Birmingham, if I shot a movie in Madagascar and then just came back and was like, how, you know, you know, what, what are we doing? Right, right, right, right, right. Let's go. Let's do lifeline. Yeah, that wouldn't work. That's not how they sound, but you know what I mean. I do. That's not more like the bad guy

in the rock. I guess it has, yeah. Yeah, because you don't pick up accents of other languages. You pick up your language in an accent. And there's another vote. There's another iron in the fire about how we probably live in a simulation.

Oh, I agree with you. That's not at all that. There we go. Another vote, another tally on pro for living in the simulation. Okay. Okay. All right, to the next one.

Yes. It's good. we didn't do. Hey man, Chris. Me and Ruby are big fans of the podcast. I saw you twice this past year, once in Victoria and once in the Nimo, in Canada. So my question to you is, what has happened to comedy feature films? Chris, I know you're going to think this is a hacky take, but I just watched Good Fortune in the theaters this year. And it's that Lionsgate puts so much marketing behind. it. They put so much budget behind it. And it's not funny, dude. So, yeah, Matt, you're a cinephile and a, uh, O-Tor filmmaker. Chris, you're a professional comedian. I like this guy. I'm a, um, comedy feature filmmaker myself. Nice. And I'm just looking for advice or, or thoughts or discussion on, on how to make comedies funny. I know, I know, I know the answer, but I know the actual answer.

First of all, that guy is his dog. His dog is the human version. Oh, that movie. Yeah, of course, yeah, yeah. Oh, God. Yeah, the Keanu Reeves, the Aziz did it right? Didn't he direct it? Aziz made it, yeah.

And of course it's terrible. Well, Seth Rogan's in it, so it's like, people love Seth Rogan. People love Keanu more than anybody in the world. Yeah, literally, right. Yeah, that's true. Of course it was bad. Yeah, of course. Because it was a, and I agree that comedy right now,

I mean, just to keep the conversation about movies, uh, they're the bigger ones, specifically, the studio ones are worse. And the reason for that is because much more than ever, they test them and test them and test them in front of audiences and get, and get random done. That's so bad. people who would go to a test screening of a movie they don't even know what it is they would

just show up for free at a movie and they fill the theater with people like that and then listen to them based on what those people think and then they recut it or reshoot it or rearrange it to death to the point that you're looking at something that obviously the timing's off obviously the cut is off obviously the actors aren't peak performing obviously the director's not doing what the director wants look you could also make an argument that the right is worse, the actual humor is worse, and I wouldn't necessarily disagree, but I think the core is that studios don't trust anybody to just make their movie. And if the execs are like, oh, this is kind of weird, or this is kind of different, or this is kind of da-da-da, then there's

just that much more doubt, and then they test it that much more, and then anything that might have been actually great about it is annihilated by some dumb fuck in a North Carolina Atlanta Tarhill's hat, who just happens to be in LA at the moment and just goes and arrives there. You know what I mean? And it's just like, oh, a movie, great. Oh, cool. A sneak preview? Amazing. I love movies. You know, and they go and they're like, I didn't like Keanu Reeves in that scene and then and Seth Rogan is in that part too much. And it's like, I didn't get the ending either. And it's like, who the fuck are you, dude? Who the fuck are you? You know? And it's thousands of those people. Yeah. That the studios listen to. God. Yeah. And I don't. And I don't. And I

don't even like Azizu Zahari, but like, let him make his shit. You made, you paid him a lot of money to make his fucking movie. Let him do it. Yeah. Or don't. But just fucking pick one. Don't let the Tar Heels guy hat. The Tar Heels hat guy fucking determine what the movie ends up like. At all. He should have no fucking input ever. It's just so obvious that that's how it should be. But it's, I, I, you're right. Yeah. And, and it's just, really fucking counterproductive

but here's the other thing though did it's like did this movie make money is it gonna no it definitely bombed you know you didn't even know what it was

yeah well I do know what it is I just I didn't put it together but so then then but they don't know that this is gonna bomb

that that's the thing that is just crazy to me you know they make they put up these movies and it's like Like, you know that you, I wish they'd ask me. I don't even need to watch a movie.

Just show me like a little clip of it and then the poster. I go, I go, oh, that's going to bomb. And it's very obvious. And these producers, and they got to know that. They got to know that. They got to know that. They have to deep down know that. They don't.

You know where you could be valuable. What? Where you could be valuable is if you could say, This is why you need to change and then the movie won't bomb. Me? Could you do that? Yeah. But then it's like, who are you asking that?

You know, if it's me, okay. But if you're asking a version of the guy in the Tar Heels hat, then that's bad. Yeah. You know? And, you know, nobody's going to have a hundred percent record of that, like doing, you know. But no, I don't know, man. Like, there was some movie that I watched the other day. I was like, the idea was so good.

And that was it, you know? And I don't know if they noted it. it to death or what but it's like i'll give an example of a of a of the biggest possible blockbuster filmmaker that literally i mean i mean literally every time he makes a movie it breaks every record and it breaks his record and it's james cameron yeah you know how many fucking notes he takes no fucking zero dude you know how much he gives a fuck about what anybody says zero dude zero he'll take fucking seven years to make the next avatar

it'll make the most money any movie has ever made and that'll just fucking be that dude when the first avatar was coming out I was like oh this is his this is finally going to be where he trips up because this is ass it broke every it was literally

the highest grossing film of all time Titanic obviously same thing before that and then fucking it's just it's just like dude let let motherfuckers cook or don't hire them

yeah i agree it's weird when it comes to art you know it's uh but yeah there's too many middle middle is the problem it's just like everyone else there's just too many it's too much bureaucracy too much red tape too much people with ideas you get noted to death and by the time the the fucking thing comes out it feels like every other fucking thing oh god it's so obviously wrong and it's why the it's why the movie the the the movie industry is dying i mean like tv you can get a better handle on it because it's week to week and you know uh it's it's a little bit more spread out but movies are just fucking done dude but the thing about a movie is you have to sit there and you have to watch it the whole time with tv you can just like check your fucking

text you can pause it whenever you want you can stop in the middle of the season but the movie you gotta sit there and fucking watch it so yeah it's got to be fucking good you can't just have a section that sucks ass and expect people to just perk back up and be like oh actually it was good. Like, you don't have, it's shorter, so you have to condense all of your good shit

into that with a show the fucking eight episodes even, it's eight hours. You can lull a little bit. Sometimes I think, like, I want to make a movie, but then I'm like, it takes so much time.

I have to write it. I have to fucking direct it. I have to, you know, I don't know if I'll be in it or what, but like, it's like, and then I'm not touring and I'm just like, who sees it after that?

And then I don't even care if someone sees it. Obviously, I want people to like it and be good. But like, for me, that's why I like stand up so much. I go on stage and it's fun to do what I do and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, I, I, you know, when I, when I, I, you know, when I, when I made that movie, when I was in my 20s, like, it was so fun to make. And then, and I, I, we got into, like, one or two film festivals, and I, I, I, I simply, I just simply didn't care, dude.

Mm-hmm. So, I don't know. I don't know, man. I don't know about, I don't know about the industry. I don't know. I mean, the film industry is absolutely fucked right now. I mean, music's even worse, but the film's fucked. But they're still making, they're still making movies. I mean, they're not making money. They're losing money.

And their models are just collapsing. So what do they do? Well, that's, this is what I was saying about it's cyclical. In the past, when it's broken down, something new is emerging. That thing that emerges has been fucking cool. And then when it's fucking cool and people latch on to it, every fucking middleman, every fucking studio he's actually like, oh, what's that person doing?

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And then a fucking big title wave crests and you get the best movies of the 90s, of the 70s. Yeah, like, like, for instance, the Daily Wires are making movies, you know? If they were just like, fuck it, we want to make movies that aren't Hollywood. They could blow up and be some kind of interesting shit

if people started to, like real artists started to work with them and do that stuff. Yeah, but that's never going to happen because it's politicized. I understand. I understand. A company, yeah. But something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, like 824 still makes some good movies. I mean, they make some weird ones, too. But they also, the fucking literally, I mean, whatever. Wow. I don't fucking air it out. But, like, I was on a call with someone who's, like, knows what their mandate is. And they're like, what 824 is looking for now is Jack Ryan, but cool. And you're just like, oh, dude, you're fucking Paramount.

Right. You're the fucking, oh, you're the Warner Brothers now? Cool. like it's all just gonna end up the same slop you know jack ryan but cool the fuck you're talking about dude jack ryan but cool is hilarious that's what jack ryan is but like you know what i know i know i know what they mean like cool like fucking how do you make it cool like you don't it's jack ryan it's fucking jack ryan it's fucking the sum of all fears it's a it's a nuclear bomb movie you know yeah yeah yeah it's a nuclear bomb movie not a

fucking a person who's half pony. Yeah, exactly. That's trying to, you know. Yeah, Jack Ryan, but he's a pony. Yeah, there you go. That's good. I would see that. Jack Ryan, but half pony.

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biscuits, you, ta Reese. And there's nothing like Reeses. Hey, Chris, hey, Matt. Big fan of the show. Been a baby for years. Followed congratulations for, for what feels like eight years or something now. So, been a big baby for a while. Also, Chris, saw you in London. You're absolutely

fucking smashed it. You're so funny. You're actually my favorite comedian. Oh, yeah. Anyway. To the point. me and my best friend had this argument for about four hours the other day granted we were pretty fucked up and that's probably why it went on for four hours but anyway this is the situation what happened and I want you guys to settle it for us I was out the room going to the toilet he was changing into his joggers tractor pants whatever you fucking want to call them in the US right we call them joggers

tractor bombs whatever and he put one leg in and then fumbled with the other leg right and fell a bit. Me, unbeknownst to me, I'm in the toilet. So I come into the front room and he's like, oh, I just did something really embarrassing. And straight away, I said, what have you pissed yourself? And then I looked at his trousers, oh, no piss. And he's like, why would you thought I pissed myself?

Why is that the first place your mind goes to? Oh, this is what actually happened. I put my leg in the fucking pant and then I fell over. Oh, it's embarrassing. And I'm like, how can it be embarrassing? if there was no one there to observe it. And then we literally got caught up on this argument. That's why my mind went to piss,

because the only thing that could have happened in the room whilst I was out of it, that I will then observe once I come back that could be embarrassing for you to me is that you must have pissed yourself. Because otherwise, why would you be embarrassed of yourself to yourself? For me, that emotional embarrassment,

flush cheeks growing red, oh, sweat on my brow, I'm embarrassed, comes from, a second party. It comes from an observer watching me do said embarrassing thing. Like, otherwise, if I'm by myself and I do something stupid, that's just me to me. Why would I ever be embarrassed of myself to myself? There's no such thing as that.

That's a waste of emotion. So Chris, Matt, what do you think? Are you ever embarrassed of yourself to yourself? Or does it come from a second party observing said embarrassing thing? I think this helps me what she's saying. What she's saying is what, nobody has ever. made a submission on this show. We're on 188 episodes that is more exactly correct than that person just was.

Anyway, go ahead and say what you were going to say. Well, I was thinking about this because I didn't talk about it on this podcast. I talked about it on mine. I fell on the plane. And I told you guys that. Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, I felt hard. And I really wasn't embarrassed.

and I mean maybe I was a little embarrassed I don't know but I didn't really feel it and like and I'm like you know Denny the comedian that I bring he was like

oh yeah he's done the show he's done this he's like man you must be embarrassed and I was like that's a funny fucked up thing to say

yeah and I'm like and I didn't think I was but then I was like maybe I'm just like trying to not be or something and then i like sat with it i don't know but like i'm like you know as guys were like no it's cool no i know i wasn't doing that i'm saying is no no no no what i mean is what's the difference if you are yeah right no the feeling you have is the yeah sure yeah but but then i'm like

that would like mortify someone yeah there are people that yeah mortified by that yeah and and and on top of that I'm already at like a public figure like they knew who I was so I was like I should be more embarrassed but I don't give a fuck dude like I don't care I don't care what a hundred people on the plane are like that guy fell it doesn't fucking bother me so what she's saying is I understand the difference between if that happened to me alone and if that happened to me in front of people like that I am more aware of oh people saw that but but my mind goes to I hope they don't bother me now like oh are you okay or oh it doesn't go to oh no how am I going to get out of this and and I got to be I have to be honest dude well embarrassment is more oh I did something stupid and everybody saw I got to be honest even if I if I were to piss my pants in a coffee shop I I I I I and everyone goes oh he pissed his pants dude I'm being maybe there's something wrong with me I don't give a fuck I don't care and and I don't know if it's because you know I I do think that stand up and performing has helped immensely with that but I don't know if at base I'm just some sort of you know but it's like it's it's so weird to me that somebody would be embarrassed to do that, even in front of that girl?

I mean, you're that way, right? Like, you wouldn't... I mean, I wouldn't... Maybe there's a girl you like or something? Yeah, I know. Embarrassment? No, no. But what she's asking is specifically does embarrassment require...

I know that, yes, I know. A spectator, a second party. And the answer is 100% yes. You can't be embarrassed around no one where the possibility of someone having seen doesn't exist you can feel guilty you can feel shameful you can feel a whole sle of things you can't be embarrassed

right embarrassment requires being other people saw us you do something that you perceive is stupid yeah and they and then you think they thought you looked or are stupid yeah or fill in the blank on stupid

but like whatever it is you know and and it's just I mean there's probably like literally like lots of like linguistic and philosophy shit written about exactly this but it's just true like you can you can feel shame alone

you can't feel embarrassment alone yeah he must have just felt guilty and stupid of himself yeah he felt stupid but that that's I mean it doesn't feel stupid all that I was like really embarrassed I have a question what um okay if what if somebody filmed you falling on the plane and then posted online and then it went viral

wouldn't bother me okay just simply wouldn't bother me really yeah god damn that's my biggest fear wouldn't bother me I would yeah

yeah I'm honest I'm not just it's not bravado like I would I prefer them to not I wouldn't even prefer them to not you don't give a shit no

honestly okay and I wonder if it has to do with because I've been viral by for good and bad things and I just don't know

I don't know I wonder if it's healthy or not you know i i just no i it's probably healthy up to a point but to to to be incapable of feeling embarrassment might not be the greatest yeah most healthy yeah i mean i guess there are things that would make me there's a reason why we feel embarrassed like it's it's not like it's just a random occurrence in our brains like we we don't want to appear uh incapable around other people because then they're going to think you're incapable, incapable,

and then they're going to judge you based on that. That's where embarrassment comes from. This is just like a very far extension of that. But like if the guy was putting on his, whatever she called him, trousers, joggers, and he tripped in front of her and they're just friends, like, how embarrassed could you possibly be? Well, I mean, people are, you know.

How embarrassed could you possibly be around your friend when you trip? Like, I don't know. But anyway, he's dead wrong. The guy's dead-ass wrong. He's just wrong, yeah. Maybe he thought that she heard him in the toilet and then was like, oh, man, I've really done it.

Yeah, maybe, but, you know, it's like, yeah. But there's just, he's just the most dead wrong and she's the most dead right. And that's the end of it, you know. I'm obsessed with death. There's another thing here, which is like, you know, you know how I'll do something that's embarrassing. Oh, yeah.

I know how you will do that a lot, yeah. but it'll happen at the bank or fucking somewhere and I could keep it to myself and like it was just my thing and whoever I did the embarrassing thing with who's a stranger and I'll never see him again or whatever yeah right right yeah but I fucking make it a point to tell you guys about that stuff right right right right right well you're like

a magnet for that you also find the humor in it though you're literally like Martin Short and pure luck like that's you in a movie you know yeah you are you are a magnet but it's But it's, but you know the humor of it. And you laugh at it. Yeah. And you know we will laugh. You might not laugh at it while it's happening, but afterwards, you definitely will.

Even if it's right after. I like can't wait to tell you guys some shit. Yeah. I mean, and then it becomes a whole staple in our thing, like, who are you right now, you know? What was the thing? Do you know who I am? You know who I am right now. Dude, when he walked up to the table and he said to the people, that recognized him, they're like, oh, my God, Chris.

And he was like, hey, how's it going? And he says, do you know who I am right now? Like, it's, like, it's so funny because I understand the connection of what you were actually trying to do in your brain. It was two things. That was the best. It was like two things mixed up, you know? Yeah. And I don't really, I can't really.

I don't know. I am right now, dude. It's such a funny. A lot of it had to do it because it was, you were already graduated and they were still in high school and in the school. And you were like, oh, I don't even know if, you know, they would know me. and it was just all of it was just a it was a perfect storm of absolutely unreal shit at fucking that sushi restaurant

really good you know who I am right now really good question though if you think about it that's a great question yeah like to ask somebody you know like do you know who I am right now you know that's a good question oh I thought you meant the submission oh that was great but no I'm saying that question you know another context is a great question to some random fuck you run into a sushi place

it's you sound like a crazy person but like it's like a deep, if you'd like want to connect with somebody. Do you still know who I am in this iteration of me? You know, I did a actually there was something that happened recently I don't know if it was embarrassment but a lot of times

not a lot of times but this happens oh dude it's it's on the house I love your stuff you know or like I here's a cup of coffee or whatever gym I do a lot of day passes in gyms and they'll be like oh just go ahead bro

I love your stuff I don't have to me too but it's okay go ahead keep going and the other day it happened and I said

hey what do I need to do to get a day pass I don't ever expect it I pull out my wallet I always pull out my wallet you know and if they ever if that ever happens

it's very sweet it's very nice but I said yeah day pass he's like oh yeah you're good all you got to do is something

I can't remember what it was like stuck his dick ah that's what it was. No. It was, I can't remember what it was. He was like, just, just, I don't remember what it was. Signed something, maybe a waiver. And then he literally, he goes, all right, that's it. And I said, oh, that's it. And he says, yeah. He says, oh, thanks. I appreciate you. Because I guess I thought he was, he said, that's it. So I was just going to let me in. Not even because he's a fan. He did say he was a fan, but like, maybe just, it doesn't cost anything. I don't know. Maybe, maybe, I don't know. Or maybe he's just like, fuck it. Who cares? So I start to walk and then I realize

on the credit card thing it says or tap the card and I'm like oh is he just gonna bypass that or and then I'm like or did he just say that's it

meaning that's it or did he just say shit did he just not even know what he's saying so I'm like and then I realize oh I do have to pay oh okay

and then I realize he thinks I think I don't have to pay Right, okay This is a good story Okay, so then I'm like Oh, and I take my credit card I put it on there

And as I'm doing it, he says Oh yeah, no, you got to do the thing And so I do it And I guess I did feel something like Oh, I see what I think When it comes from being misunderstood It's a thing But I don't know if it's embarrassing

You're saying if it's a misunderstanding That you didn't get then you might feel a twinge of embarrassment. But if you trip or fall, you'd never. No, never, ever. But is that what embarrassment is? I guess maybe, yes, yes, yeah. But, like, immediately afterwards, I go, oh, he fucked up.

He said the wrong thing. Who cares? Yeah, but you felt it a little bit, so you know you're not incapable, which is good. That's it. So good job, yeah. All right. So you're not a complete sociopath, yeah. No, okay.

Yeah. Do you guys ever have conversations with people who you know or just, either lying, just saying some bullshit for the conversation, or they're just saying some dumbass stuff, you know, I find that whenever I'm talking to people like that, I just cannot, I cannot go along with what they're saying. I just sit there and go, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, and I'm so bad at lying, faking interest in it, and some of my friends, I've noticed we've talked about this before, they can be in that same conversation and we'll just roll with it, and they will just go on with it, and they know they're lying too.

but they're able to have a conversation with it and I find that I just cannot entertain people just saying bullshit and I feel like I don't know if it would be useful to go along with their stuff for the sake of conversation or if I'm in the right

by trying to end that conversation as quickly as possible. So let me know what you guys think. You can't, dude, look at you. He's not going to bullshit. You know, maybe go mm-hmm, mm-hmm, but like, dude, get out of there. That's what I do.

Also asking us, and we live in L.A., do we know people who do that? like try finding a person who doesn't do that and then make sure they're your friend because they're so fucking rare like everyone here is full of horse shit about everything all the time it's really weird it's kind of like what the city runs on depressingly yeah it's crazy I mean even if even if they're not totally making something up out of their ass they're still like around the edges like make softening it or or making them self-seeing them more important or making something seem a project of their seem more far along

I mean it's and that's just within the industry but like yeah dude I mean if you know if I smell it and I'm fucking I'm just I'm well they'll finish I'll let them finish talking I won't be like I'm out of here I walk away like a fucking asshole but I'm not gonna just sit in it and and and go back and forth with them about a fucking thing that I know is a fantasy yeah like I have I there are people actually that I'm relatively close with that I know are not they're not lying all right but they're not telling the truth right like they don't think I'm lying now yeah but their version of the truth is so skewed through their fucked up lens of reality that I just know it's dog shit what they're saying and so I that they say it I literally don't respond

and then eventually something else comes up. And that's it. But that's all you got to do. Yeah. You don't need to be like, hey, you're a bullshit. But you also definitely don't need to be, oh, yeah, well, tell me what, like, why would you? Yeah, don't call it.

You don't have to call it out. Who cares about, well, you're going to change a person? Yeah, yeah. You're both 30, you know? Yeah. Also, like, you know, it's very possible a person doesn't even know that they're lying, which is the worst part. Yeah.

Yeah, that is very common, I think. Yeah. I think very few people are like, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to lie right now. That is not usually how conversations go. They don't go, they don't go. I mean, you might go, you might,

they might do something like, I gotta make it seem like I'm doing better than I am because I don't want this person to think less of me. 100%. You could have that conscious thought. Yes, but they're not thinking I'm lying. Right, right, right. Nobody's like, I'm lying.

Nobody's like I'm a bad guy. No, no, no. things are not things people think. And that makes it, to me, that makes it worse because when they're the bad guy, well, they're dumb too, yeah. Yeah, but, but, but, but like, if nobody ever thinks they're the bad guy, it makes it, and you know that, it makes it harder to be really angry with them. And I want to be fucking angry with them, but, but also knowing it keeps you a little more calm. So it's like what goes both ways. Like what Hitler was doing, you think that he thought he was brought it there, brought it all the way there, you know, I mean, oh, did Hitler

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about they they they they completed his genome like they have all of his DNA now what so they were this is crazy but these scientists obtained through the strangest means a piece of the sofa where he shot himself on in his bunker when the Soviets were closing in, okay? That piece of sofa, that this American either captain

or I don't even know, whoever was on site, he had to verify that this happened, right? And for whatever reason, he cut out a piece of the sofa as like a keepsake. It happened to have blood on it. as a as a keepsake this is like the Christopher Walker thing in Pulp Fiction this watch he passed it down to his son

right then he passed it down to his son and then that son is like well there's DNA shit now yeah because obviously there wasn't in 1845 well yeah there wasn't even a thought no no at all wasn't even on anyone's mind you know and and and

but now it's like now right so he's like well I have this thing it's fucking hit Hitler's blood, maybe somebody else should have it besides, like, the great-grandson of some captain or whatever the fuck, you know? And so it ends up in these scientists hands. Some streamer. They fucking, however they extract, I have no idea how that process works.

I mean, that's like Jurassic Parkshed. Then they recreate this entire DNA genome. And it turns out, you know, the, I mean, I don't know if you guys know this. They made Super Hitler? They had, the boys from Brazil. They had this, they had, there's always, even in the production. There's a joke about Hitler had one ball. Right.

You know about this? Like rumor? I don't know. I probably heard about it. Okay. So it's like a long stand. It's been forever, a longstanding remember that Hitler had one ball. He actually, look it up.

He actually had a specific, very rare condition that once you hit puberty, like, well, at birth, but especially once you get puberty, it malforms your genitalia. Okay? It's called a Kensington disease or something like that. I forget what it's called. There you go. Oh, this is just about the one testicle. Oh, wait, go back.

Go to the news. So they could literally make nice Hitler. Nice Hitler and then make a movie about it. And it would be with Rob Schneider. Oh, yeah, I did see this recently. Okay, so what's the disease called? It's called. Micropenus area.

Whatever. It doesn't matter what the disease is called. It's called something. And it leads to, this dick and ball malformation i don't have that's what it's called and everything everybody has ever said about him as in terms of contemporaries was they never saw him be amorous with a woman they never saw that never knew of him having sex with anybody even with maria brawn colman syndrome callman syndrome there you go yeah i don't have it rare genetic disorder yeah i have a

different genetic disorder is huge nice my penis and small small balls anyway go ahead um so it's very possible that Hitler was as you know driven and maniacal and like single-minded and also fucking disturbed right because he had this malformed dick and ball syndrome because he had a tiny cock now imagine a fucking wow i think you can easily imagine actually a counter narrative that if he had a regular dick and balls maybe he might have met a woman when he was 17 maybe and like they kind of they kind of like liked each other and like they settled down a little bit instead of just having a fucking dick the shape of a fucking cheeto and and one ball that is like all now formed and the other one that's that's kind of mind blowing dude you know and it's like it's obviously small dick it's all this

shit happened? I mean, dude, I'm not saying that. No, well, I mean, I know, but what I am saying is that I believe that sounds very much like a possible scenario. I mean, bro, the shit that shapes you is insane. Yeah. The shit that shapes you isn't even nearly as crazy as that. So that? But also, yeah, I mean, there was also, well, I don't want to get into the history of it, but yeah. Yeah, I mean, that alone could fuck up your whole fucking derail your whole life, obviously, yeah. I mean, think about if, think about if, think about if, you know, the first Jewish girl he saw saw his penis and was like, ah, and that's his first thought about Jews.

Well, that's not where his thoughts about Jews came from, but... I know that, but it doesn't help. I mean, no, that would have made it worse. It would have made it worse. But honestly, what is worse than what ended up happening? Not, no. You couldn't really imagine a much worse scenario than what he did. to the Jewish population of Europe.

But yeah, it could have been, let's say his fucked up dick and ball scenario could have played a factor in arguably the worst thing that happened in the 20th century. God, that is fucking mind-blowing, bro. That is mind-blowing, honestly. Yeah, I know, yeah.

It's crazy. I don't even, you know, I guess most people have a regular dick. Yeah, boy, you think about Stalin, you think about Mao, the other people of 20th century who are fucking terrible Pol Pot, they probably had regular dicks. So like, it's not like a fucking, it's not like a bulletproof argument. Yeah, yeah, of course not. But it does mean you're going to be a certain type of way. In a cocktail of how you grew up.

Cocktail, yeah. Yeah, cocktail. Yeah, no, but yeah, I mean, yeah, that shit shapes you tremendously, obviously, but so does, you know. So what does Coleman's disease look like or whatever? Oh, you want to see? Look up Coleman's syndrome. Obviously, we can't show it on YouTube, but what's the- Oh, I don't want to see it.

What's a penis look like? Oh, come on. You can bring it up. I'm not going to look at it, though. I'll take off a safe search. I'll watch it and then go eat lunch. I'll watch it while eating lunch. Oh, well, that's disgusting.

That's a kink, actually. Yeah, yeah, I was just going to say. Let's see. It's just a cartoon. It's just a drawing. I'll look at a drawing. Yeah, hold on. No.

Just a drawing. I want to see the real thing. I mean This is how sensitive people are about it By the way Just so you know Like there's not even pictures of it Right

Right right Or also maybe how rare it is Yeah actually true It is really like Crazy rare Which makes if you're having If you're more crazy Listener of Lifeline

And you have Callman's Condition Take a snap of your cock And send it on in And send a submission About it Yeah

Yeah And send a cock to The picture of the cock So send it to Chris first And he can You know Look at it While I'm eating lunch

Yeah So anyway All right Well there you go Wow How about that huh Yeah that's really Interesting

There's arguments That like It's not like accurate Like the science is like shoddy But like I don't know No

The argument of a guy Not being able to find A life partner And then being derailed is it's not really something that is in it's very obvious that that can affect a man right but no what i'm saying is there's there's arguments that the the way they did the DNA sequencing that that might be not accurate but like i don't know dude got it if there's smoke there's been so much smoke there's literally a joke about it a song about it in the producers those even people like

contemporaries were like man like something was up and everybody knew and now this it's like i mean all right enough like what do you call it contemporary yeah contemporary not direct evidence but like a uh uh uh a coincidental uh what's the uh fuck dude circumstantial yes it's enough circumstantial evidence in this case for me to believe that he had fucking Coleman syndrome nah you guys we're not talking about something here though which is it was way back then when a man could just be like first of all people didn't always fucking have sex before marriage right okay and a man could like totally gaslight a woman about his cock being tiny and just being like this is normal right like deal with it and fucking you know yeah yeah he could he could he could also not do that though

and deep shame and fucking horror at the size and fucking one baldness of his genitalia because he was He's in locker rooms and stuff? Yeah, I mean, he's... No, dude, he was literally in the trenches of World War I when he was like 15. With his cock out? I am in the trenches. I'm sure he saw other guys' cocks when he was in there.

Oh, I get it. Like, he... And they definitely saw his. What the heck, why it's just so big? And the other guys was like this big? And other people saw his or didn't because he hit it because he saw other guys. And he was like...

What is that? That's an elephant trunk? Um, yeah, I... That really blows my mind, man. It really blows my mind. It really does. What was the thing that that comic used to say? Let that marinate.

What was that? What was his name? Colin. Charles Collins. Sean Collins. I saw him a few days ago. No way, dude. What is he still do comedy?

At LAX. We were just passing. He was leaving. I was arriving. I was at my wife. You say hi? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

We said hi, yeah. but why was that with Kristen Kristen went to Chicago of Chicago yeah but I wasn't with my well I was with my kids yeah I guess I was with my kids yeah Chicago yeah so it was on the way back from Chicago yeah it was a it was wild to see him dude wow I told him to text me he didn't

what was the marinade thing he used to say though so that marinate a little bit that's so like hilarious like what well you didn't come up with that though I know that's what I mean don't do that after you're a joke got it got it got it got it oh you know my least favorite is for stand-up is fuck you guys that's a good joke yeah i don't like oh dude yeah yeah yeah oh because he would say that well he didn't say that he would no other comics say other comics would say that other comics

would say that he didn't say that yeah i like that guy that guy's yeah yeah i like that guy i mean he's he's he's he's he's wacky by i like him sean yeah yeah but no there are definitely comics that are like fuck you that guy like that that jerk deserves more that kind of shit right right right right i hope i've never said that um all right That's it. On that note, we're done. Thank you very much. I appreciate you.

Look up some comments. If you have a submission, send me a calm disease penis pick. And it's all good. If you know we personally send me and you have a common disease, just text it to me. And we'll be off and running. Thank you very much.

Appreciate you. Come see me in Cleveland and come see me in Detroit. Appreciate you. Patreon.com slash magicily. Hello