Lifeline - 19. Big With Child

Episode Date: August 15, 2022

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Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. like a heifer to the slouch time we starting did we started all right shit he goes he goes we're recording so fucking chilling so what are we gonna do dude well it's fucking lifeline episode 19 actually this is the first time i really don't know there we go see we're getting up there 19 19 dude 19 uh so that's it and we're doing it and you got your blue chips hat on. And Christian Leitner was in blue chips. And so was Shaquille O'Neal. You know what else I got? This shirt. It's not a shirt. That's a rag.

Which is a bit falling apart. But check it out. I'm retiring it today. Oh, this is it for this shirt? This is the last time I'm ever going to wear it. For obvious reasons. Should have definitely retired it way, way earlier than that. It looks like you got in a fight

with many, many bobcats. You can see my tattoos. Yeah. Okay. Well, it's all good. It's a horrible fucking shirt. Was it less... Was it less...

In the pool. Was it less ripped earlier? Oh, yeah. Well, no. I didn't buy it like this. But mean it looks so perfectly ripped like it's so weird there's just like holes in it so it had small holes all over but you know when you put on a shirt with small holes in it you put your arm in too fast the worst head out the worst you rip it out yeah you put the look at the hole in the i'd like to talk to you about shirts. Oh, wow. Crazy. So, you know what I'm saying? You know what it looks like?

You have turned, you kind of turned, you went to turn into the Hulk and then kind of gave up halfway. Yeah. That sounds about right for me and my personality, actually. So, yeah. So, we're downtown. We're coming to you live from downtown Los Angeles at our Lifeline studio, at our Super Cold Studios.

We are doing the show Lifeline. And I brought my son down here with me and he's chilling in the studio so it's very cool so if you hear some stuff like mail momo in the back that's calvin okay i hear it i hear it now yeah but they won't but he's he's drawing um he's drawing uh daddy pig what's that what daddy pig yeah he's drawing daddy pig okay so peppa pig is a cartoon. And Daddy Pig is the dad in the cartoon. And that's his favorite one in Peppa Pig. He does love Peppa Pig.

I knew that. Oh, there's his drawing right there. There it is. We'll show it. Maybe we'll put it up at the end of the show. Here, give it to me. Give it to me. I'll show you. Give it to me.

Give me that funk, that sweet, that nasty, that gushy stuff. The bullshit, man. Nope. That was so bad. Nope. So this is what Calvin did, dude. Boo. Come on, dude. This this is what Calvin did, dude. Boo. Come on, dude.

This is going to be on the internet. He's good at it. Oh, okay. Take it back. He did Daddy Pig, George, Georgie Pig, that's Peppa Pig, and that's Mama Pig. You know how many drawings I've seen that are better than this? Yeah, but dude, he's two and a half. Okay, I'm just saying.

It's really good for two and a half. You don't need to drudge it on a sliding scale just for a sake of the art this is bad art no it's good it's abstract he does abstract shit all right so what about my hat i bought this at a 7-eleven a video game hat a hat that just dude there is not a hat that somebody who doesn't speak english would wear more than that i mean i love it because i'm a mr adventure they when you when you went to purchase it at the gas station, they looked at you and they literally thought, but you're not Mexican.

Like, that's what they thought. Well, they could think I'm Mexican, first of all. I don't look un-Mexican. Are you un-Mexican, dude? Do you know what? You're either a Mexican or a Mexicant. In fucking Johnny Depp in what's that movie? What is it?

Before the Devil Knows You're Mexico. Once Upon a Time in Mexico. No, neither one of them. I mean, the worst titles of all time. Once the Devil Knows You're Mexico. You're the Mexican. It's the fucking Robert Rodriguez follow-up to Desperado. What's it called? Something Something Mexico.

I was right. You didn't say Once Upon a Time in Mexico. I did. No, he didn't. What did he say? I said that second. I said, before the devil knows your... You did not say it. Before the devil knows your Mexico, then I said... Before the devil knows your Mexico.

Then I said, Once Upon a Time in Mexico. A guy who says, Before the Devil Knows Your Mexico would get that hat because they don't speak English. Yeah. Well, I'm wearing it. So anyway, dude. I'm not that, so it's all good. So anyway, dude. I'm retiring this shirt. Just's all good. So anyway, dude, I'm retiring

this shirt. Just don't even wear a shirt, you know? So what are you gonna do with that shirt afterwards? Wash your car? Is it gonna be a rag? You know, burn it ceremoniously. I would say, though, you probably don't wash your car because that guy who wears a shirt like that doesn't keep his car clean also. I definitely do not wash my car. There we go, and I'm a detective, baby! Oh, shit,

you figured it out! Yeah, or you just knew that about me. What? Or you just knew that about me in my car. But don't ruin it. I also seem like a detective baby oh shit you figured it out yeah or you need to crack some cases you talked to what or you just knew that about me but don't ruin it i also seem like a detective dude no too many hats too many water bottles all good dude you gotta have backups backup hats if you don't like the way one hat's looking on you feeling on you you gotta you gotta in rotation you got another hat if you don't like the way this is a song calvin would listen if you don't like the way... This is a song Calvin would listen to. If you don't like the way one hat looks, you put on another hat. If you don't like the way it feels... Such a bad song.

Tony Bennett, after he lost his mind. Tony Bennett with Dementia. Such a bad song. If you don't like one hat, put on another. If you don't like the way one feels... Okay. You might like the way the other one feels wow forgot the words well that's what tony bennett does okay uh you want to get right into it dude

whatever you want yeah let's do it let's get into some fucking advices dude this is lifeline and you know what we should talk about and we're going to talk about it uh at the end of the episode but also we're going to do a live lifeline on moment house that's what we're going to talk about it at the end of the episode, but also we're going to do a live lifeline on moment house. That's what we're going to do. And you can get tickets to it. We're doing it September 14th. Is that right? Yes. And you can sign up for it now. And what we're going to do is do it live. Like you're going to call in, people are going to be able to be in the waiting room, call in, and we will talk to you and talk you through your problem. And that is on Moment House. And you can sign up.

And what we're going to do is we're going to put that link under. We're going to pin the comment under this video on YouTube. And so you can just click on that link and sign up for it. And for a very low cost. And you can also, what was I going to say? You can sign up for it. Oh, and also, what's the website? Moment.co slash Lifeline.

There we go. Yeah. Moment.co slash Lifeline. If you're listening, you can sign up for that, and you can talk to us live. This is a live thing. It's different. It's not just the video that's coming in.

When we have questions about the advice that you normally leave out that we want to know, we can ask you. Like, how long ago was this your ex? Was it a week ago or nine years ago? Because it makes a huge diffy. Right? Okay.

Diffy, you know. Yeah, it makes a huge diffy. So, you're either Mexican or Mexicant Okay Before the devil knows You're Mexico So bad And so

So that's what's up So Alright so And then also I'm gonna be in Dallas dude This is Let's do this This is like

One of the last times I'm gonna say this Before I'm in Dallas I don't believe that I'm gonna be in Dallas I'm gonna be in Wichita And I'm gonna be in Atlanta And Washington D.C.

And Savannah Georgia go to chrislea.com to get tickets and that's to see your boy live live in the flesh and uh you'll see me and I might not see you unless you're in the first two rows because it's shiny and that's why we were on Travis Scott's side let's get into it wow hey Matt hey Chris I have a question for you um I'm a golf coach over the summer for a kid's camp, and I'm paired with a head golf pro. And he's super nice. He's, like, my dad's age, like, super friendly.

But he's been doing some things. I don't know if he's, like, trying to flirt with me or if he's, like, just a good guy. He'll, like, buy me lunch. We'll, like, split it, talk about golf. He bought me, like, two really expensive, like really expensive like golf clubs to like improve my game and he's been wanting to do like private lessons with me which like i need to work on my golf game and also this sunday he invited me to go golfing with him and a client and then he invited me for drinks after so i don't know if he's just being like a friendly nice guy or if like he is like trying to flirt thanks let me know what you guys think

hey quick question where's your brain dude it's a sign 40 signs but he's doing the ones that when she says hey are you doing this he can say no no no which which i don't like now if you're gonna be given signs be more overt and obvious. Don't do the ones where you can be like, I was just being da-da-da-da, like fuck off. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't like that shit.

Either do it or- I don't like that shit either. That's the worst kind of guy, dude. Yeah, I agree. But also, if you do do be overtly, hopefully you're not famous because that can come bite you in the ass. Snapers. So anyway, what you do is,

so what you do is, you realize now immediately that we're telling you it's a sign. Ah, Jesus. It's a sign. He's definitely a dude. This is the question. If he was doing this with a dude, would it be gay? No.

Not necessarily. But you would definitely think think is this guy gay no because it's like the age factor makes me think it could be like a mentor mentee thing i'm not trying to defend the guy but it doesn't sound like anything he's doing is like across any kind of line it's not it's not but it's not it's not but he's like he's like you know she's like well you know what he bought me two really expensive golf clubs. You know, he took me to a client with golf and then he took me out to drinks afterwards. I just don't know. You know, he went back to his apartment.

I'm just not sure. He lit some candles. When I walked in, the candles were all lit. I'm just not sure if. And then when I was laying down in his bed and he entered me, I just don't know. He thrust it a few times. And I'm just like, of like Is this like work He proposed he got a ring and he proposed

You know I'm pregnant I'm big with child Dude that's what they said in the tutors So far I'm big with child I'm watching the tutors And the dad said to Anne Boleyn When you're big with child So rude

Such a rude ass way to put it To say to your daughter dude you know when you're big with child. So rude. Such a rude ass way to put it. To say to your daughter, dude, you know when you're big with child. It's common for the man to look elsewhere. That's what he said. Well. Big with child, dude. So misogynist.

Dude, big. You're big with child, yeah. You're just big. You might as well say fat at that point. Yeah, big is actually ruder than fat. Yeah. Yeah. When you're fat with child,

when you are plump with child, when you are fucking look like you can roll down a hill with child. Wow. You know, the worst idea when pregnant. What I don't like is when people write those shows, the tutors.

Yeah. When they didn't live back then. And they're just kind of guessing what they sounded like. You know that. There's ways to research it. Kind of, but you don't really know. Like, I swear to God, on one show, the tutors, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers said, come on, man. He did?

Yeah. I'm not bullshitting. Well, that's not. That seems like a slip up. And then they say stuff like, I mean. And it's like, did they say I mean? Come on. What? They say I mean. Did they? Like, I mean And it's like Did they say I mean? Come on What?

They say I mean Did they? Like dot dot dot Oh yeah What? They said I mean And then come on man I mean come

Oh man I mean come on man What are you talking about And one time The fucking Anne Boleyn's dad She goes I'm pregnant And he says it's lit What is Anne Boleyn?

Oh it's lit It's lit like a tea That's what he said What's Anne Boleyn? Anne Boleyn is the woman Who got her Anne Boleyn? Oh, it's lit. It's lit like a tea. That's what he said. What's Anne Boleyn? Anne Boleyn is the woman who had her. Anne Boleyn. Yeah, okay. I thought you were saying something wrong.

Anne Boleyn. Anne Boleyn Entertainment. Anne Boleyn. All right, cool. So yeah, he's definitely trying to doink you. All good. Been the fucking problem since the beginning of time. But he's doing the stuff that he's going to be like,

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm just getting you a drink. Chill. I didn't know it's going to be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm just getting you a drink. Chill. I didn't know it was going to be all like that. And then he's going to definitely say something like, you stuck up, bitch. That's what those dudes do, though. That's what those dudes do. I was just trying to be a friend.

You stuck up, bitch. I don't think he's going to say that if she calls him out on that. Don't make her think he's really going to say it. He might think it. But is it worth bringing bring here's the thing i think what you have to weigh is is it worth bring i know this is not what she's asking should i bring it up with him she's asking is that what this is i think it probably is that yeah but you have to weigh personally if it's worth bringing up obviously he hasn't quite crossed any lines but obviously if he does you do need to bring it up but he's playing in that gray zone which we don't approve of but it's not you have to decide if it's

worth calling him out on it or not you know it's it might not be there yet yeah it depends just fucking watch out you'll be big with child yeah with him yeah big with child when you're big with child it's common for a man to step out on his mistress. But you need to pick his mistress so you can control it. Like the stress that was in the Tudors was unbelievable. The stress back then is unbelievable, dude. What do you mean the stress? Like the fact that people used to live in the 1400s and be like, oh, God, am I going to say something that's going to result in it counting as treason and then I got to have my head lopped off?

Yeah. That's so, you know what i mean the stakes were higher also the life expectancy was like 12 i know but also henry the eighth would be like say i'm more important than the king otherwise you're gonna be locked up forever right and then you're like oh but you even believe that he's not more important than the church like who gives a shit like pride was something yeah pride was much more something than it is now. Yeah, I'd rather die for my church than live in, you know what I mean?

It's like, what? Yeah. Stop right there, dude. People were willing, much more willing to die back then than they are now. And all they wanted to do was be big with child and keep on moving the race. All right, let's do it. Okay. By the way, he's okay, right?

Talking like that? Hey, Chris and Matt. Okay, he's good. Okay, good. Let's do it. Hey, Chris and Matt. Big, he's good. Okay, good. Let's do it. Hey, Chris and Matt. Big fan of the show. I think you guys are awesome.

Hell yeah. Keep doing what you're doing. Quick, just quick here. This guy, Bork, thinks he's my boss. He isn't. Tries to micromanage me. It's starting to get to me. I'm biting my tongue for weeks now,

and I'm this fucking close from snapping, and I don't know if I should confront him. I don't know if I should go to my boss and say, hey, listen,'m just i'm this fucking close from snapping and i don't know if i should confront him i don't know if i should go to my boss and say hey listen i'm sick of this fucking guy um he he just he he texts me throughout the day he won't even like confront me in person about it he'll text me because he's too much of a bitch uh so i don't know i just i don't know if i should confront him and get get in his face like i don't want to like cause a fight, but I mean, like I'm, I am a groomsman. I'm sick of this fucking guy. Right.

So I don't know. Any advice would help. Tell me what I should do. Thanks guys. Oh, I would. Well, I'll tell you what I would do a hundred percent is absolutely block his number. Like that's so annoying. I'd block his number.

And then when he came up, he'd be like, why are my texts green? And I would say, oh, look at that. A conversation. Right. I look at that, a conversation. Right. I mean, that's horseshit. But I think you don't want to give him ammunition to get you in trouble with your boss. You want to be in the right when it is presented to your actual boss when it comes to that. I think what you really want to do is confront him, but don't like, not when you're ready to snap.

Bring it up when he doesn't actually do it. Bring it up independently so you't actually do it bring it up independently and so you can have some kind of objective setting be like you know you're not really the boss i don't know why you sort of whatever it is give me orders whatever whatever you know and then if that doesn't work then you go to the boss you don't want to go straight to the boss because then you're kind of making it maybe more of an issue than it has to be if you can just confront the guy directly, look him in the eye, don't look away, don't look down.

And when he goes to look away, go, hey. Make sure it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Right. If you need to, just take his actual head. Manipulate his head, yeah. Hold it like this and say it like this because you're struggling. That might be a little bit of a problem in the workplace. Yeah, maybe, but it depends.

And then what you can do is be like, hey, come with me to the dude. And then go walk him. Uh-oh. You know? Going to be so bad. No, no, no. This really works. Okay.

So walk him over to the office, to the boss's office, right? Uh-huh. And the boss is sitting there, and the boss goes, guys, I'm busy. What's going on? And he's like, I just got to run. Come here, dude. And the boss is sitting there and the boss goes, guys, I'm busy. What's going on?

He's like, I just got to, come here, dude. And he goes, point to the boss's butt and say, whose ass is that? And when the guy goes, what? And the guy says, I don't have time for this. No, no, no, boss, excuse me. I'm just going to report. Whose ass is that? Yeah.

And then he says, that's the boss's ass. And he'd be like, oh, dude dude that's why you're not sitting with your ass in the boss's chair yeah oh shit dude because he's the boss right and that's why his ass is in the boss's chair yeah yeah that's good because it's very clear yeah yeah be like so then don't tell me what to do right and then yeah and spin move okay just tacking on the spin move you know yeah no no but i'm saying you have to have this one because in and also you can get oh dude i've been wearing mine have you been wearing yours like a good little boy or a bad little boy so not have you been a naughty little boy so kinky have have you been a nasty, naughty, scummy little boy? So weird. So weird. Or have you been a good boy?

I mean, you know. So weird. To look in your brother's eyes and say that. Fucking so, so weird. Fucking. I mean, dude, come on, dude. I'm big with child. I'm all about the weird shit, you know?

Yeah, I know that. Honestly, have you been a naughty, nasty little boy? No, I haven't been a naughty. You've been a good little boy? No, I have been a man. You haven't? No, I haven't been a naughty nasty little boy. You've been a good little boy? No, I have been a man. You haven't been either one? I've been a fucking cool man. All right.

I've been a good little boy, just to be clear. Okay. All right, so let's go to the next one. Hey, Chris and Matt. Love the show. Love what you're doing. You guys compliment each other so much. Cute.

It's a great show. Thank you. And podcast, I guess. love what you're doing uh you guys compliment each other so much it's a great show thank you uh and podcast i guess anyway i was seeking advice on managing my how to manage how you speak to others i think you guys probably are about the same as me and the fact that we kind of say how it is we're really honest we're blunt it's black and white. This is what we need. This is what we want. And people sometimes take that offensively, especially lately my spouse. Not quite sure what you guys do with that, especially Chris. You know, you have your spouse and Matt with the dogs. How do you not offend them with telling them your needs and managing your expectations?

Let me know. It's always work in progress, but what are your tips and tricks for that dude i wish that uh there was a show that was not our show that i could call into with this because i have a tone apparently i have a tone and no matter what i say and even if i try to not do the tone i still do it stop and um maybe i should sing it no no i think uh this is this is hard you didn't mean stop all right go ahead this is hard because i think you two apparently but any relationship and i do it you cut me off no you cut me off i know but adding to it but yeah um so i think any relationship that you or i have been in, we've run into a version of this problem,

which is it's baked into our sense of humor. Yes. Not the person, not like we're this separate thing from who we actually are, but it's like a manner of speaking and a whole kind of sense of humor that is aligned in this one way that the tone of voice can come out jagged sometimes to people that are not as familiar with it as we are. And that completely

makes sense, first of all. But it's also hard for either one of us to just change the way we talk to people that we're close with because we talk the way that we talk. And I think the partner that one of us has at any given time will tell us, but you at least can talk differently to me. Now, that is a misconception because that is fucking hard to speak to everyone the same way and then one person a different way. So there has to be, and this is my advice to you,

when this comes up, there has to be some sort of meeting halfway of like, I understand that my tone of voice can be harsh. Yeah. But I need you to understand that the way you're hearing it is not always the level of hold the cough for what I'm done talking. That's why nobody heard it. I wouldn't do it. You should have held it.

But we need to sort of figure out a way to meet halfway. Spouse, they're married. Obviously, this is something they have to figure out a way to meet halfway spouse they're married she obviously this is something they have to figure out yeah and i think the way to do it is to explain that like clearly without being angry and then get she didn't specify if she's married to a man or woman but let's say it's a he if he's like i mean she's married to a man you know but it's usually it's usually the other way around though is why i say that oh yeah you're right you might be married to a woman you know the ones with the tone of voice problem. When she said that, I was like, wow, this dude's tripping.

Exactly. So maybe she's married to a woman. Who knows? And if she's big with child, then she's more emotional. Okay. But that's true. Big with child. That's my advice.

What do you think? Yeah, you have to, like, I mean, well, I will tell you this much. Like, yeah, it is baked into our fucking personality. Yeah. And i'm sure it is for her too she said it yeah yeah and our family growing up like our family would be like that's how we honestly that's how we showed love we would make fun of each other and then laugh all together and then when you do that with somebody who had a fucking bad childhood and this is not kristin she had a great childhood but like but like it's like and they all they know is chaos and then you're like yeah well you know it's like, and they, all they know is chaos. And then you're like, yeah, well, you know, it's cause you're fat.

Not that I would ever say that, but like, you wouldn't say that, but like, but like that turns into, um, a trigger moment for them. So it's this constant balance and it sucks, but yeah, you definitely have to have that conversation where it's like, look, I will definitely be more mindful with how I speak to you. And you just have to trust that. Because sometimes I'll go in and I'll be more mindful. But it depends on what the fucking mood they're in. Sometimes Kristen's in a fucking beautiful mood.

I can say something and she laughs. Sometimes she's not in a good mood. I'll say something that I think is funny. And it doesn't get over. It's not perceived well. Which is crazy because I'm a comedian. And if I say it's funny, it should be funny, right? Sneaker!

And so I'll say it's a joke but that if it hurts your feelings you know it's a whole thing whatever and it's not a big deal but what i what i should what you should say is like i'm gonna try and do that but like just please like understand that this is the way i talk because otherwise it's like dude thank god you're not dating a russian like you would you'd be like oh well this guy's an asshole the whole time you know what i wonder at least two different facial expressions dude and i get a whole smorgasbord of fucking looks that i do i mean i'm practically on the fucking i'm all the guys from guess who you know what i mean like you look at me i could do smile i could do surprise

i could do fucking pissed off i can do oh bewildered i can do all that shit so can everyone no no russians don't do that dude well i have a question about the mcdonald's in the russian in the russian when mcdonald's reached russia they almost fucked up everything because the mcdonald's whole thing was service with a smile and then the russians were like here is your stuff and the russians like what the hell is all this stuff why are you smiling you want something from me so i have a question about russians they sound angry and mean in their own language to us who don't speak their language and when they speak in uh with their accent in english yes do they sound mean to each other

in their native language yeah but that's how they do it it's like we're talking to each other in our family that's what they do that's how they do it so it's like that with everyone if you're if you greet somebody in russia with a smile yeah that is considered like weird like are you making that up something from me no what yeah they're like what is this you're trying to get one oh dude that is such a weird you don't smile unless you're actually happy you know how like you you beat this this is true about mcdonald's the whole service oh i thought you made that up no no when it first got over there in like the 70s or something it was a whole thing russians were like let's go see what this is like whether where they smile what the fuck yeah 100 and i know that because i'm smart no well then why do

i know that because you saw something on the tv once and it stuck with you all right well gave in you know no i read it okay okay you know and looked it up on youtube okay but yeah so uh anyway so just basically the whole thing is you know this is not really anyone's fault except it's kind of his fault like he needs to get with the fucking program yeah like she didn't mean it fucking but she can't tell him that i know she can't we'll fucking tune in here buddy hey buddy relax right dude you're married for fuck's sake she doesn't hate you. I know, she can't. Well, fucking tune in here, buddy. Hey, buddy, relax. Right. Dude, you're married for fuck's sake. She doesn't hate you. Yeah.

Oh, wow. Maybe she does. But I do understand, though, dude. I understand. It's hard. People communicate in different ways their whole lives, and they meet when they're adults, and they got these different styles. It's true about how you express love, too.

Like, there are these different love languages. Right. That's also with actual language. People speak differently, and they have their whole lives. Totally. Totally. So it's hard. Like somebody might figure it out.

You know, somebody might be like, don't fart around me. That's bad. And then another guy is like, yeah, but when I do that, I'm open with it.

I'm open with you. And that's because I love you. Wow. Your ass is open. That's for sure. But also it's different for, it's different for men and women, right?

Like if you were like, if somebody like, if like if if if my significant other was going to say something that made me feel bad right and i would be like oh that makes me feel bad and then they would be like oh well i didn't mean that and then i would be like all right and then like three minutes later i'd be like let's get pizza but if you do that the other way around like if i say some shit to my significant other and i'll talk about kristen this is very general but like and then i say like something that is deemed to be assholey and then she's like oh what the fuck

you know you did that i'm like oh shit my bad i didn't mean to do that she'd be like oh okay and then for fucking a day and a half she's gonna be like i just you know i don't know it was just the way you snapped and you didn't even snap right so it's like well what the fuck so it's hard to deal with so my point is it is different since you're the female in the situation and you know i guess you might be a female that you're married to but um yeah i don't know it's a tough it's a tough thing but have that conversation of hey i know exactly i know what you're saying and i'm going to try to be aware of this now make me a sandwich you fucking fat piece of shit wow that's not a good uh way to wrap up the advice do all that except the last very last thing chris said okay

next erroneous so i'm 25 and i've never started so hard on a date i've never been on a dinner date going out with someone to the movies, bowling. The whole dating thing, really. Ever. I mostly like to stay inside. I like my alone time. You know, I never felt that need to have that kind of relationship, to have someone be a part of my life and me be part of their life. In some way, that thought kind of scared me.

But I do feel that sooner or later, I'll probably have to go out there and try and meet someone. But I just don't know. Died. Died. But I just don't know how to go about it. Went back in time and see the world. You can give to me and some other first ever daters out there. Shout out to Pearl Jam.

Yeah, dude. Went to the future and saved humanity when he did that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go to the part where he saved humanity. Please go to the part where he saved humanity i i fucking think this kind of shit is so funny and also why are we watching a podcast what do you mean why does he have a fucking microphone why does it like well it's also cut together the guy's obviously pro and so i'm 25 and i've never been on a date i've never been on a dinner date, gotten out with someone to the movies, bowling, the whole dating thing really ever. I mostly like to stay inside. I like my alone time.

You know, I never felt that need to have that kind of relationship to have someone be a part of my life and me be part of their life. In some way that thought kind of scared me, but I do feel that sooner or later I'll probably have to go out there and try and meet someone but i just don't know up up up up saved humankind saved humankind in the year 3000 i just don't know how to do it that was crazy dude he's recorded so many times and that and that saw saw his cat like spill something and that had to be like i can't record this again and then just kept going. Dude, honestly. And this has been the podcast Depression with Zach Pimbro or whatever the fuck. The podcast Depression.

Zach Pimbro. Zach Pimbro. I don't know. Is it someone? Well, he's never been on a date and he's 25. Welcome to Depressing with Zach Pimbro. So I would like to talk about this now. My nuts have never descended. Wow. You know So I would like to talk about this now. My nuts have never descended.

Wow. You know, I would like to have two nuts that descend. I'm the kind of guy that sits down, and when I do, I don't have to worry about sitting on my nuts because they're still inside me. And I... Nuts descended, you know? Oh, wow. I'm just curious if you have people on your planet with... I mean, people who...

So... Hello, this is Zach Pimbrough. I was curious if you have people on your planet with, I mean, people who. So? Hello, this is Zach Pimbrough. What the fuck do we have to say to this guy? Welcome to the podcast Depression with Zach Pimbrough. I don't have a house. I sleep in the dirt. This is depression. He's never been on a date?

My sense is he doesn't want to be on dates. I don't know, man. It's hard for some guys. He could be an incel. But he doesn't have an incel vibe at all. I mean, he can go online and be like... Yeah, I mean, anything's possible. They all deserve to die.

Yeah, yeah. Welcome to the podcast depression with Zach Pimbrough. But, I mean what tips to be someone who dates exist in the world and be sociable like that's it just i guess if you want to do the apps right yeah do the apps if you want a quick fix get a hat with a feather in it and just walk around people say something they'll be like what's the nice hat some chick some fucking chick i mean she might be a behemoth but who knows she fucking some chick will be like what's the nice hat some chick some fucking chick i mean she might be a behemoth but who knows she fucking some chick will be like what's up with that hat and then you'll be like

hi i actually have a podcast uh it's called you may have heard it's called depression so wait you think he should get a if you get a hat with a feather in it you're set you start dating if you do it enough you will get somebody to be okay, but there are easier ways like Tinder. What's easier than getting a hat with a feather in it? Tinder. No, because you have to reach people that way. If you just get a hat with a feather on it and then go to the fucking Glendale

Galleria and walk around some fucking chick, she might be a behemoth, but why do you keep qualifying with? She might be, but what I'm saying is a 10 isn't going to come up to you and be like, what like what's up with that hat a 10 is gonna be like weirdo with the fucking feather in his hat i think everyone's gonna be like weirdo with the fucking heather no job there's gonna be some job of the woman that comes up why does she have to be so big she might be big with uh oh shit i think that you it's such a vague broad question I think that you...

It's such a vague, broad question. I think what you need to do is just be more social. If you want to be someone who's dating, go out into the world and speak to people. Then you'll get at least practice. It doesn't even have to be a woman with your eye on some kind of romantic situation. Just get out there and talk.

And also, get on a fucking dating app if you want to date. Get on a dating app for sure, yeah. I mean, I can't believe I've never been on a fucking dating app you want to get on a dating app for sure yeah i mean i can't believe they've never been on a date or you know what you do here's what you do this is what you practice and by practice i mean you go to a movie by yourself and you sit next to a girl she might already be on a date with someone else just sit on the other side and just hold her hand and just feel like feel what that feels like and you're watching you're watching fucking beast with idris elba and you just look over to her so just acting like like and when she laughs like this such a creepy microphone

the other guys are like man what the fuck oh you're from depression zach pimbro Pimbro dude wow uh all right yeah I mean that I think that's gonna do it for that guy yeah I mean just fucking get out there get a feather get a hat with a feather in it and get on apps okay first get on apps then do the hat with the feather like wait well I can't wait to see a follow-up video if you've got a hat with a feather in it so it's really not working um i like how he cut it together and then also overlaid his audio sometimes with just facial expressions like steven soderbergh directed it i liked it too all right let's go yeah so let's go to the next one we got another one and another one hey matt hey chris love you guys so much so the issue that I'm dealing with is I have an older brother. And

unfortunately, I had to cut him out of my life about two years ago. He was just verbally abusive to me. He'd yell at me in public, like crazy shit like that. And it came to a point where I had to remove myself from the situation because it was just so unhealthy. And he has now reached out to me saying that he loves me and he misses me and that he wants to talk. So I'm wondering, do I open up that door to like have a conversation and maybe thinking that he will apologize for all the nasty stuff he's done to me. I'm not really sure what to do. You know, I listen to your podcast and I hear how much fun you're having with each other. And I really wish that I had that kind of relationship with my sibling, but I don't.

And that breaks my heart a little bit. So I need some help. Thanks, guys. I think you got to at least hear him out meet with him and if he says he wants to change and that he's sorry and you feel safe and comfortable with that I say give him a chance but don't

you know don't let him slip right back into being the way he was when you worked up the courage to get him out of your life just because we want someone to change doesn't mean that they're going to and it doesn't mean we should give them endless chances to do so. Giving someone like a brother, a sister, a parent, a child, a chance to become better, to be better, to be the person that you want them to be in your life, that they think they can be in your life, that's a good thing, but there's like a fine line or like a, there's like a line that you can cross that is just, you know,

you're being too forgiving or you're being too harsh. I think give him a chance. Let's see what he says. If it's up to snuff, try it out. And then if he does it again, the bullshit that you don't like,

tell him, look, I gave you a chance. This is just who you are though and I can't handle this shit. I mean, your nipple is out. Giving that sage, nice advice. Well, sometimes when you give advice, your nipple's out.

Yeah, at the beach. No, sometimes on a show like this. You know, you always give them a second chance. Your nipple's like this. Yeah, my nipple's saying, what's up? I think that you're right, up um i think that you're right but i also think that uh you should uh before you even meet be like what's different and what work have you done you know what i mean like he should be i don't know how bad it got or

what but like you know if if that was me verbally being like fuck you if he's i's, I don't know what he's saying, like, but in public, that's a lot. So, you know, I would be like, all right, well, I got to get into therapy and fucking figure this out. Oh, the clock, Marco. I got to figure this out. I got to be, you know, figure out my anger problems, you know? So if he's doing something about it, then, and if he's actively like, you know know i fucked up let's meet then good then do it then then i think you meet um but uh if not then i would be wary and maybe like a you know it's also different between meeting in person and also being on the phone if he's like look i just have some stuff i want to get off my chest and that's a phone conversation. But if he's like, you know, I've really thought about this long and hard and I want to, you know, I don't want to do this.

I started looking into like being in therapy and like my anger is, my anger is, you know, whatever it is. It's affecting my life and it's affecting people I love. But get the guy on better help.com dude. Yeah. You know, tie in. Yeah. Yeah.

Sure. Better help.com is awesome. And, uh, it's simple and easy. And so, you know, whereas finding a therapist can be hard,

but, but, but this guy, no, I genuinely mean it. Like it's, it's like the bare minimum. You can get a therapist.

Yeah. Yeah. So it's good for you and people in your life. Better help.com. Yeah. But, uh, well now you're making it a commercial. I didn't mean to make it a commercial, but, uh, but yeah, I was just saying like get a therapist, you know, betterhelp.com.

Okay. So, uh, yeah, it's a tough thing, man. I'm sorry that that's happening, but people can change and people can, can be the person like you said that you need in their life, in your life. And that's an awesome thing, especially, you know, families grow, you have kids and then they become important and then, you know, they don't want to not have an uncle. Right.

Yeah. Give it a chance as much as you can, but you have your limit. You know where your limit is. Know where your limit is going in. And then if he crosses it, back out of your life.

Behead him. Behead him. I've been watching too much Tudors, but also Matt, you know, Matt verbally abuses me, but I still keep him in, I still keep him in Cal's life. Yeah. I've been watching too much tutors, but also Matt verbally abuses me, but I still keep him in Cal's

life. Yeah, I do verbally abuse Chris. Alright, cool. Next. Hey Matt. Hey Chris. So, I got a good one for you that I think only you can help me with. My girlfriend and I, the last two years, have kind of been going through a rocky patch, and

we spent some time trying to figure it out and and really diving into each other and during that time she bought me crystalia tickets front row wichita kansas august 27th head on over to crystalia.com get your tickets head on over to the merch page get your oops button okay i said it so you didn't have to all right so how do i go about being like one i kind of still want to save the relationship and two i want to get my ass in those seats no idea even how to go about it like i really want to go with her uh you know uh have no idea what to say to get that whole process started in the first place uh maybe you can help me out

love you guys thanks so this guy's girl got him tickets and and he wants the tickets. He wants to go. But he doesn't necessarily want to go with her, right? Do I have this right? I think he said he wants to go with her. Oh, he said he wanted to go with her? Okay. Well, either way, you can't take someone else if you have the tickets. You got to go with her.

Also, if she has the tickets, you got to get in her good graces. But I think that – what is a rocky am i am i wrong when i say this guy is having a rocky patch with his girlfriend she bought him tickets to see you in wichita he's excited to go and wants to go with her what's the problem yeah i think that he is saying that uh he didn't say he didn't want to go he said he did want to go he does want to go yeah so i think that he's is this motherfucker just trying to get on the show i mean maybe no um i don't know what the problem is yeah i guess you're right i guess let's say he doesn't want to go with her if he doesn't want to go with her it doesn't matter you have to go with her you're having a rocky patch in your relationship and you want to make things fucking better that is a way to absolutely

destroy everything oh thanks honey you got me two tickets to see my favorite comedian now i'm gonna take my friend jim and not you bye yeah terrible yeah there's no way to orchestrate that yeah i'm gonna go with her then there's no fucking problem go yeah have a good time rekindle the romance have a sex the night that uh you see chris and uh let chris bring you guys back together yeah it's a win-win or is she gonna be you're gonna start some shit she's gonna take someone else and then you're gonna see who she takes you're gonna be like zach pimbro yeah she's gonna go with zach pimbro oh no the guy from Depression. Just in the front row, not laughing at me. His very first date. Still with his microphone.

Dude. His very first date. His very first date. Wow. Yeah. Also, dude, maybe he's worried about because they've had a rocky patch. Maybe they haven't talked for a bit. We don't know the thing.

Go with her. Go with her. Here's the deal though if you're worried about the whole like awkwardness of it i got you bro that's what comedians are for you let me do the heavy lifting that's what going to a comedy show is the best first date you can do yeah it is the best awkward date you can do the comedian is doing all of the work yeah right yeah yeah yes and you're just sitting there going ah right she's getting all hot because the way i'm activating no no right no no she goes home hot she doesn't go home with me but i activated her you welcome bring a towel okay so you go with two things

a smile and a towel and you leave my show and it's hump city you are yelling it's ronk city dude you are yeah you want her to throw it back yonk yonk oh so that's what's up dude yeah I mean I'll do the heavy lifting and it's ronk city for you population 2 go with the girl rekindle the romance fall back in love vis-a-vis Chris D'Elia yeah fall in love all over again

this August 27th in Wichita so not a lovely place, you know. But you can also, fuck, I had a, I don't know. Look, you're either a Mexican or a Mexicant, and you're going to show up and you're going to be a Mexican. Before the devil knows you're Mexico.

All right. Before the devil knows you're Wichita. Hey, so David here from Nashville. I just have a quick question for you guys. First of all, thank you for all you guys do. It's amazing. Amazing show. I just have a question.

So my wife and I have a discussion always about movies. I'm the type of person that does not like to watch movies more than once me too let me explain uh she's the the opposite she likes to watch movies all the time and repeat like every time there's christmas she watches elf and all these different movies over and over and over so my thing is whenever i watch a movie um i kind of want to get surprised and i want to you know not know what happens next and figure out what the movie is about and then find a resolution at the end of the movie kind of thing but if i've seen the movie i know what happens so it has to be a really really really really good movie for me to want to watch it

more than once so am i crazy i don't know what do you guys think i mean wife changed back dude um what the fuck was going on in his house did you hit a kid he's from a magical beautiful kid was doing some kid shit yeah um some terrible sounds dude we're this is us i like to watch a movie once. Here's the thing. If she's just like a person in the world who has nothing, her job isn't to do with movies, she's not like a crazy movie buff or trying to break him down, I can't really defend her position. She just wants to watch Elf over and over again.

That's just a human being with a problem. The reason I like to watch it more than once is almost always because I want to see from a craft position how it was done, how this happened, how they did that specific thing, whatever it is. But that's a unique, specific thing to me. Right, yeah.

I would understand most people, understandably, only want to watch a thing once, maybe twice, three times if they love it. But they don't want to watch the same fucking movie all over again, understandably only want to watch a thing once, maybe twice, three times if they love it. But they don't want to watch the same fucking movie over and over again. Yeah. Understandably. I mean, I would say if she's a cinephile, okay, but she's watching Elf over and over again. So basically what you are is a toddler.

Right. That's what gave it away. You're married to a toddler. Like if she's watching Casino shot by shot. Yeah. Okay. She's a cinephile, but she's watching Will shot by shot yeah okay she's a cinephile but she's watching will ferrell dressed up as an elf yeah you're a toddler so congratulations you married a two and

a half year old that's who was making the sounds in the background right right right two and a half year old wife yeah this is i mean put on baby shark and see what she thinks of that right she'll flip the fuck out yep well in this situation buddy you're in the right and yeah you watch it sometimes we got to put up with shit that we don't want to put up with in relationships unfortunately for you that's watching elf a lot honestly that's not very unfortunate if that's the thing that you're calling in about you know it could be it could be way worse also have you seen elf no i know it's it's fine once it's shit why you say that because it you seen Elf? I know. It's fine once. It's shit. Why do you say that?

Because it's shit. I mean, people love that movie. It's fine once. And as a Christmas movie, it's good once. Okay, okay, okay. The bar is lowered at Christmas for Christmas movies. Fine. You know what's fucking great?

Is that one with Arnold Schwarzenegger. I get to get the Turbo Man. Jingle All The Way is great. That one is so fucking funny. Why don't people talk about that one more? I get to get the Turbo Man. I think they're starting to a little bit more. Really? It's him. It's Sinbad. That one is so fucking funny. Why don't people talk about that one more? I think it's a turbo man. I think they're starting to a little bit more. Really?

It's him. It's Sinbad. I've been on that one. Isn't Hartman in that shit? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rita Wilson's new husband. That's a good cast, dude. Rita Wilson's new husband?

In the movie. Oh, oh, oh. Because his relationship is on the rocks with his wife, and his wife is played by Rita Wilson. Oh, yeah, dude. And her new boyfriend is Phil Hartman. his relationship is on the rocks with his wife and his wife is played by rita wilson oh yeah her new boyfriend is phil hartman who is there somebody to play a new husband better than phil hartman no no nobody was straight up one of the funniest people ever to exist and it's such a sad tragedy what happened it's a tragedy when anyone dies but man that the stuff that we missed out on because of how early he died oh my fucking that guy how you know what he would have been he would have gotten so

much bigger you know what i mean yeah because he just got funnier and funnier as he got older and he would have just been this old legend yes you know yes he is and was had i mean snl i don't even really like it that much. So many of his characters and bits are in like the top all-time SNL things. Fucking Houseguest, dude. How about him and Sinbad doubling up in Houseguest and Jingle All The Way? That was a good one too, those two. What's the one where he says, a surprise?

No. What do you? He says, a surprise? No. Shitting a boat would be a surprise. This is a catastrophe. Is that from Houseguest? It's from one of them.

Yeah, probably Houseguest. I think it's Houseguest. Oh, my God. That movie I saw fucking dozens of times when I was a kid. But then again, I was a kid. There you go. All right. Next one.

What's up, Lifeline? What's up, Matt and Chris? We like your podcast and all kinds, all types of ways. Here's the advice for you. We just finished a wedding, as you can see. On Molly. Someone get Molly. Ratchet.

And the advice here is do we go to the after party? We don't see our friends very often. We know that it's going to be a fun time, the friendship times, but also it's 2 a.m. We're tired as hell. Yeah. What do you do? And get up early tomorrow for the friendship Is FOMO real?

Well, I know 100% none of these guys got laid none of these guys got laid also all went to the after party I know 100%. None of these guys got laid. None of these guys got laid. They also all went to the after party. I know. They all went to the fucking after party. When they panned to the guy on the left, he was like... That guy was like, yeah, man, I don't even know what to do. Just so sexy with his voice, dude. Already sexy. That goes Rick Fox. Already sexy.

And then when he fucking talked, the girls just go fucking good. Wow. Nobody does that but yeah okay god damn dude after the party is to after party fomo is not real fomo is a made-up thing because guess what the things that you miss out on you weren't there so you don't know that it was fun because you weren't there. Yeah, but you know what happened because of stories afterwards. The guy in the back, dude. The guy in the back was secretly the most handsome. Wow, dude. Secretly.

Because he didn't speak up much. Yeah. Yeah. You don't think FOMO is something? I mean, I guess it is something if you feel nervous about missing out on something. People that experience it a lot bug me out, dude. I don't like any coined terms like that. I want to make up my own, you know.

I don't want to use other people's fucking terms. So I would just say, you know, the opposite of FOMO, YOLO. Get out there and have a good time. I think that basically if it's 2 a.m., if you're, okay, if you're under the age of, let's say, 27 or below. They were in their 20s, I would say. Well, they can go then. Right. If they're under 27 or under, you can go to the after party that starts at 2 a.m.

If you're 28 or above, you cannot go to the after party that starts at 2 a.m. After the party is the after party. If you're under 27, if you're over 28, you don't go. Yeah, that's right. Jay-Z said it, now we say it. I think that you went. They definitely went. You went and you did drugs.

Two of them vomited at 4 a.m. And one passed out where he wasn't supposed to and woke up late for his flight on a bench in front of the house that the only one that made it home safely was the guy in the back yeah because he was the most sober right yeah right totally yeah that was unreal that that what that what a good one i want a follow-up from them oh yeah let's get one let's have a follow-up from what from that one you guys how do we try to get even more sexy guys in it get like double the amount of 25 sexy men in it well there were four sexy men that do eight and then if there's another follow-up we'll do 16 12 yeah oh you want to keep doubling it doubling it until they kill us okay

um all right um that was a good one that was a good one i love that one dude that one was funny immediately just dudes being dudes you know yeah yeah none of them got laid nope none of them still haven't been laid since the fucking video threw up one of them passed out on a bench in front of the house and the black dude got home safely the black dude got home safely and and oh the whole time smelled terrific and then even into the next day smelled terrific and didn't take a shower and still and just it smells so good all the time and had no hangover whatsoever yeah yeah yeah oh 100% yeah and his favorite movie is Transformers okay

dude alright alright alright it's insecure how you laugh yo Chris and Matt I'm a big fan oh yeah

shit my best friend is gay so many signs. Yo, Chris and Matt. I love your podcast on this shit. Yo, Chris and Matt. I'm a big fan.

I don't know what this is. Doing origami. So my best friend is gay. And he told me that he had feelings towards me since day one. I was okay with it. And I still am. But he isn't moving on. He knows that there's no chance I'm a straight guy I

have a girlfriend but also it's kind of difficult for him because I'm the only male in his life he's an introvert he doesn't have a lot of friends she's stuff and I don't know what they do stabbing I can see him hurting every time we meet whoa wow so not I just not be friends with him anymore so that he can move on what should they do because we talked about this thousands of times whoa i mean you're not gay he knows that much love from lebanon thank you this again can't stop what i'm saying he's not gay you if that's like you can't you you're not gay this guy's got to get through his head you're not a gay man so that can't happen i think he's to get through his head. You're not a gay man, so that can't happen.

I think he's gotten it through his head. It's just they're best friends, so they do hang out, and then when they do hang out, he's like, I'm in love with you. I honestly get why he likes you, dude, because he's just like,

I see him going through so much pain. Yeah, he's just like, oh, wow. He's such an empathetic guy. So nice. But I think that that seems like it's a bit of a dead end. If he just told you once, then that's nothing.

That's totally chill, whatever. You guys move on, remain friends. You say, well, sorry, I'm not gay. If I was, obviously, we're best friends. I'd probably start with you if I was, but I'm just not. This is like, he keeps bringing it up. That's like if you're in the friend zone with a woman who you really want to be with

and you keep trying to date her, she's like, at a certain point, she's going to be like, I don't want to and also you're making me uncomfortable. Yeah. You can't keep doing it.

Bro, we're not going to be together. You can't keep doing it. Yeah, it's like going to a fucking auto shop and you're like, dude, I'd love to work on cars and like, have you ever worked on cars? And they're like, no, I don't know a thing about cars and you're just like, oh, you can't. Yeah, it's like going to a fucking auto shop and you're like, dude, I'd love to work on cars. And like, have you ever worked on cars? And they're like, no, I don't know a thing about cars.

And you're just like, oh, you can't. Yeah, okay. Great analogy. What I said better, but... But I know, but my thing is more, I take it to the masses, right? Because everyone gets their car done. Okay.

But everyone also has some kind of amorous feelings for somebody, so I took it to the masses better. Love is universal. Yeah. That's what you're saying yeah um so dude i'm sorry but you got to tell the guy look i love you you're one of my best friends maybe my best friend whatever he said best friend but yeah like i i you're making it a bit uncomfortable like i i'm i can't reciprocate those feelings for you. It's literally my biological makeup won't allow me to. So, like, you got to either get over it or, I don't know, can we still be friends? Like, what's going on here?

And put it on him. Like, have him answer some questions because it shouldn't be just you. Like, he should also be, like, one would think he should be like, I don't think I can continue seeing this guy. It's torture. Yeah, true. You know what I mean? Yeah, you'd be doing him a favor maybe by being like,

yo, quit this shit. Don't bring it up again. You know? Yeah. And also like, maybe also maybe on the, just to be the devil's advocate, maybe try it out, you know?

You don't have to do like full on tummy on the bed shit. He might feel pressure. That would be bad. I think he would feel like he would- But just a stroke or something. That would be bad. I think he would feel like he was... But just a stroke or something. Okay. I know.

Over the pants. I think that that's a bad idea to pressure, to talk yourself into doing a sexual act that you don't want to do, you know you don't want to do. No, no, no. It's a bad idea.

What I'm saying is the guy's flying a little closer to the sun than we are, so maybe he, in a way, there is some kind of like oh maybe i do want to do some otp stuff don't psychoanalyze i'm not this is lifeline dude and here's the other thing because and the only reason why i say this is one time i was having a conversation with a bunch of people in montreal and somebody was talking about being gay and every anyone asked is there any part

of any of you that would ever there was like five of us that ever thought about that maybe they were gay and i was like no honestly no you know i don't have anything like i'm not like get penises away from me but like i just like i i if i try to think about it or wrap my head around it's just not for me it's not something i want to do and the guy next to me said and in he was australian but i'm not doing it because this is he was and he was like uh not me mate i'm not gay and i know that a hundred percent and i was like that's such a weird way to answer that and i said why did you say it like that and he says because man when i was younger i tried it once with my friend and it just wasn't for me. And I'm like,

wow. So you're saying for some people to know they have to try it. I guess. I would suggest in that case, if it doesn't seem like he is, but if that guy's going through that, he should try it with someone who's not his best friend who's in love with him and you know you try it with zach pimbro of depression because then you go on a date with

his microphone just like this make it a date though you make it a date so you can scratch that off zach's list hey guys so i don't want to be doing this but cut up cut up together i don't want to be doing this oh anyway yeah all right um yeah so i that's a tough situation though it is tough well you know what i want to say though props to you yeah for like being open-minded i mean you know what i mean like it's it's if you think oh having a gay best friend it's of course it's fine but it's like having a best friend as a woman if you you're like look i don't know if i want to be one day dealing with that whole feelings conversation, which you don't always have to have.

But it's interesting. And even with the gay thing, it's a little bit more because you're not gay, and he is. But props to you for not looking at color. Well, that's actually not what he's doing. It doesn't matter what color you are. All good. I don't see color when it comes to it. Well, clearly, because this has nothing to do at color. Well, that's actually not what he's doing. It doesn't matter what color you are. All good. I don't see color when it comes to. Well, clearly, because this has nothing to do with color.

Let's do the last one more. Or is that it? Is that it? There's one more. Okay, cool. Let's do it. So handsome. My name is Ludo, and I'm from the UK.

Beautiful. And I absolutely love this podcast. It's my favorite podcast. I love you, too. And it was congratulations for a good few years. Damn. But I could do with some help, because I'm you too. And it was congratulations for a good few years. But I could do with some help because I'm just waiting to pick up my parents from the airport. It's making me think of my terrible fear of flying.

It's something that stops me from seeing my friends on holiday. It stops me from going away with my girlfriend. I do fly, but very infrequently. And I also work in the film industry as a set dresser. And we're going to be flying around in the the coming months and i need to be able to kind of overcome this because i want to do those things yeah i hate turbulence i'm i've seen too many films where things go wrong every movie so i'm a very anxious buyer and i can really do some advice i know that you guys fly a lot i'm sure chris flies a lot with all the shows um you know do you guys get anxious what do you do to combat that any advice or any thoughts around

it would be really appreciated so thank you very much do i have a story for you uh no but go to the last podcast and watch the beginning um but i don't usually get anxious so you should talk about that actually i do get very anxious a lot of the time and i used to i used to actually have a terrible fear of flying right i didn't go to things that I regret now because I was terrified of being scared. I realized that it was about my OCD and I realized it was about my anxiety and had nothing to do with actual...

Because here's something that helped me too. Like you on a plane, you're scared that it's going to crash. Okay, that's I guess what you're scared of it's actually egotistical to think that way because there's so many other people on this plane you think you're the guy that gets to have this happen and it's a romantic notion dude it's a notion of oh man i'm gonna be on the plane just my luck i'm scared of turbulence dude it's not gonna happen to you because and i'm sorry to say this but you don't matter that much you're just

somebody on an airplane that's all it is and all of the airplanes all of them except like one get to where they're going you know and you're not on that one and here's the other thing too you're gonna miss out on shit which you already are and that does. And here's the other thing too. You're going to miss out on shit, which you already are. And that does suck. You are going to regret it because I do. And when I was probably around your age was when I was most scared of flying. But once I started to wrap my head around the fucking fact that it's egotistical and it has nothing to do with me, it really started to help me.

I still sometimes do get nervous. But also, I think that sometimes it is a young adult thing because for me. I still sometimes do get nervous, but also I think that sometimes it is a young adult thing. Cause for me, I was scared of flying because I had not made my quote unquote mark yet. I had not done some things I wanted to do in my life with my career. I didn't really know who I was. And I had a fear of like dying prematurely and it all fucking went out into that okay i'm on a flight now it could happen now um there was a like a few months where i was terrified driving over bridges whoa yeah i would just have like a panic attack i'd speed up and i was making myself more unsafe by fucking driving not right too fast over these bridges i tell you what that's way more dangerous

than flying ever is nobody 100%. Nobody, basically nobody ends up dying in a plane crash because planes rarely, rarely crash. You're more likely to get fucking hit by a car waiting for your parents

at the airport and die than you are dying in a fucking plane crash, dude. It just doesn't happen and keep that in your mind every time you hit turbulence,

every time something fucking weird happens. Yeah. You're just not going to fucking die. There's also medication, happens yeah you're just not gonna fucking die there's also medication bro that really uh and there's also medication that helps way too much like in matt's uh in matt's case and then also um well there's something else i wanted to say i don't know you're just you're gonna you're fine you're fine keep flying you're not gonna crash i promise you if you're fine. Keep flying. You're not going to crash. I promise you.

If you crash and die, I will give your family a million pounds. Okay? Whatever that is. A million euros. That's a lot of money. Okay. Well, I know he's not going to, so. Oh, I got you.

I see. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's it. Okay. That's it. That's it. So, yeah.

So, sign up for Moment House. It's in the pinned comment below. Moment.co for Moment House. It's in the pinned comment below. Moment.co slash Lifeline. It'll be posted below, though. And then also, you can do that, and you can talk with us. It's going to be live Lifeline. So we can talk back and forth with you, and you will be there on the phone with us. And so also, you can send a thing in by watchlifeline.com video

and then I'll be in Dallas and Wichita and Atlanta and Washington, D.C. and Savannah, Georgia and Peoria. Go to chrislea.com. A lot of dates there. And you can get the new merch. We got a bunch of ones. The fucking merch is killing. I've been wearing it all this week.

We got the fucking hoodies. We got the t-shirts. we got the fucking merch is killing I've been wearing it all this week we got the fucking hoodies we got the t-shirts we got the sweatshirts we got it fucking oh yeah go to lifelinemerch.com or chrislea.com to get that stuff take pics of you in

it when you get it and send them to me oh yeah we repost them yeah all right guys thanks a lot thanks for listening and what did the guy do I think it was this.