Lifeline - 196. Voldemort Zelenskyy

Episode Date: January 25, 2026

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Runk. You know what, dude, it is Lifeline episode 196. We're inching up on episode 200. Happy birthday to, well, first of all, January 25th. So happy birthday to, and I know this off the top of my head, Alicia Keys. Good luck with this one. And Zelensky. Well, Voldemore.

Voldemort. Voldemort. Voldemort Zelensky. Oh, political. Political within minute one, within the first half minute. Well, it's his birthday. So everyone gets to have a birthday, even politicians. We're not going to wish Putin a happy birthday.

I'm sorry. I'm going to, oh, political. Oh, so you wouldn't. Oh, yeah, I guess you wouldn't. I wouldn't do that. Not wish anyone a happy birthday. Sure, I guess so. I didn't even think about that, really.

Yeah. But it doesn't matter because, like, you know, a lot of people think that Voldemort comes from, you know, he's misunderstood. And Harry Potter, you know, needs to be more understanding. So shout out to Legends for sponsoring this show. Legends is a free-to-play social casino and sports book. Check it out at Legends.com. That's Legends with a Z.

You can go on our Patreon and get more episodes, more episodes. There's 80 or 90? Well, first of all, it's not more episodes. It's just me and you. Banta and it's sick. That's more episodes, though, right? But that's not, there's no guests on that. They're bonus episodes.

Lifeline luxury. So you're saying it's a different... It's not more episodes of this. Yeah, sure. I guess so. It's Lifeline. luxury, yes, okay, okay. Of just sick in it, banta.

Sick in it, mate. And so Patreon.com slash lifeline luxury, it's only $5. So go get that if you love me and my brother. If you don't love us, don't do it. Yeah. If you explicitly, you hate us. Well, if you don't do it, you hate us. Yeah, that's what it is.

Yeah. Sick and it, banta, mate. Banta. So, uh, anyway. Subscribe to scooper good on, scooper good on YouTube. Do it, do it now. Obviously, got my own Patreon. It's on and popping.

live show. Matt DeLea is confused live. Fogarit, we'll do it live. Patreon.com slash Matt DeLea and the kid is on tour if you wants to talk about it. I am on tour and I just added another show actually. Well, it'll be past that at this point. I added a third show on Saturday. It'll be a day after now. But I'm going to be in Milwaukee coming up. I think that's it will be sold out. And then I'm going to be in Vancouver. I'm going to be in Cincinnati. I'm going to be in Montreal. I'm going to be in Australia, too. So I go get your tickets for Australia. I think I'm adding a Brisbane show.

And a bunch of different places, it's not on the thing. So that pisses me off. It's all good because I kind of remember at this point, right? I'm going to be in St. Louis. I'm going to be in, what do you call it, Sacramento, which I didn't even know about, which I am. Somebody said. Sactown?

People go like this. Coming to see in Sacramento. And I go, oh, I guess I'm coming to Sacramento. I don't remember. But anyway. Is Gavin Newsom going to go? I don't know. Is that where he lives?

That's the Capitol. Oh, yeah. So that's where he lives, I guess. Governor's Mansion, baby. So I... I think you're open... When you open? Say, Gavin, where are you at?

Gavin, Newsom, right? Is your first thing when you come out? What do you think? I don't think so, because he won't be at my show 100%. And also, even if it was, it'd be weird, right? That'd be made... I'd be so weird. Yeah, yeah.

So... Is crowd work with Gavin Newsom? But I will... And what's your name one? What'd you do? Gavin. How'd you get hair like that? You said Kevin?

What is it? How'd you get your hair like that? Worst question for him. For him, the best question. The hair, dude, that guy's like, he's literally a politician. If you just look at him and his voice in his hair, everything about him, a politician in a a Paul Verhoeven movie, like Robo cop or Starship. Well, he reminds me of American Psycho.

Oh, that's hilarious. Yeah, he literally, like, reminds me. Well, same thing, they're both satires. He's like a satirical. I know. I know. Yeah, he does, yeah. Perfect

Yeah It's almost too much You're just like Give me a fat guy Yeah But he does have that halo effect Where I'm like Yeah

I don't know what he's But he's Yeah yeah I'm with him He's charismatic Yeah he's got that thing But I will

I watched Speaking of when you said Do it now I I finished running man The new one Last night What do you mean

We talked about How you watched it I know But I didn't Watch the whole thing I only watched half of it Oh dude You're a Zoomer?

No Your Generation Z? You're Gen Z? Why is that? Oh no, no, no Because I had to go to bed because I had to take Calvinist school That's why I turned it off

So it's not a boomer. Okay, got it. Yeah, boomer, right, yeah. And that's funny. Oh, Gunna! But it is. Absolutely. I have to give it to you though.

Disrumple me so hard. No, it is. It is. Which part did you like? Not to be you. Well, I didn't laugh at it. So I had to let you know it was funny

because it was already past the moment of laughing, hold on. I'm waiting. It was what you said, oh, so you're a boomer, which is funny. It's funny because it also, it rhymes with this zoomer, which I know that's not your doing, that's how it is, but still.

I mean, I thought about it before I did it, but yeah, took it into account. So, but I saw, so I finished it, it's funny because the first half of the movie, I go, this is a great movie. And then when I, I don't know if I was in a different mood or if the, I'm sure it got worse,

it's hard to keep those movies good if they start good because it's just so many people that's true in general I think beginnings have so much promise and then you're like oh you went that way oh mistake I would say particularly with big budget movies though

because at the end you're like wait what is happening for sure yeah you know so you got a studio fight it make everybody happen right right and so it was not good bad movie I mean you're the only person

I've seen it that was like it's good yeah well I mean I still kind of stand by. The thing is, Gwlem Powell did that one thing. He does, he doesn't, I don't like when he does characters, dude. He should just do, he's Tom Cruise, like when Tom Cruise is Tom Cruise. What is he like, Dana Carvey? Like, what kind of character?

No, they give him stuff like that, yeah. Really? Yeah, like an Irish priest. He was walking through a thing, and he's got a mustache. No. Blind Irish priest, yeah. No! Yeah. So, but we don't need to get all into it again, but I will say, so I stopped watching

So I stopped watching that when it was done. And I go, Hmm, bad. And then I, on next, and this is my move, it said, coming up next, coming up next. You remember that? No.

What is that? That was the old comics unleashed. Wow. Oh, yeah. Coming up next. Don't remember. Anyway, keep going. What's his name?

Frigin. Joe Tori. Or no. I mean, yeah. Okay, so. Joe Tori. No. The baseball guy, Tori, I meant. So, Running Man came, the original version. And did you ever see it? Of course. It's fucking terrible. Dude, people say that. And it's, I got into this argument with someone

specifically about this the other day. I was like, oh, the new one must suck. They always bastardized the original movies. And he was like, dude, the original sucks too. And I was like, no, it doesn't, dude. I stopped watching it. I could, I think it's just terrible. I mean, I don't want to get in the weeds about it, but I just wholeheartedly disagree. I'm not like it's an amazing movie. No, I understand. But the premise alone makes the new, it better than the new one. No, the premise is the same as the premise. No, no, no, here's, here's my argument. Are we getting in the weeds? Containment. Yes. And studio television. Yeah. In studio television, makes the satire sharper and clear. Yes. It's doing in the new one, I didn't see it, but I can tell from

the trailer and the clips I've seen. It doesn't do it as good. It doesn't do it as good. Yes. It's not, You're, okay, in that sense. The lack of containment makes it worse. Almost always. That's, I agree with that. I agree with that. Okay. So, yes, you're right.

Okay. But the, what happens in the first one. Okay, sure. The set pieces. The set pieces are, each like, each like, each like, it's so bad guy level and stuff. Yeah. I like the behind the sea stuff, though, with the, with the, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

I like that. That's, that's what makes it a better idea. Yeah, exactly. But anyway. Is there that version in the new one? like the studio head that is... Yeah, it's Josh Brolin, but it's all muddled. It's not like...

They do touch on it, but it's the whole world. And it's cool because it's actually a good idea because everyone has to film them with his phone and they get money. Right, right, right, right. So it's kind of a cool take on it. It's just not. It's cool, but it's not, you know...

The second half was not good. I mean, Glenn Powell playing a blind priest is the most not going to watch it in history for me. It's like, might as well just be Saturday Night Live. But, yeah, yeah, sketch that he's hosting. Yeah, yeah, totally. Exactly.

Not for me, not for me. I'm so behind on movies this year. I got to catch up. Well, I... Dude, how about the Golden Globes with the live... Well, I don't know what you're talking about. Dude, Polly Market presented the Golden Globes this year, okay? Okay.

And they had live odds. And they were encouraging you to vote or not vote, bet. Right, on who was going to win live during the Golden Globes. Oh, wow, really? How weird is that? That's weird. That's like running man shit. Yeah, dude, totally.

Like, what even is culture anymore? When it gets this confusing and this muddled, it's just like, wait, what, where are we? What is all this swirling shit? Was it, uh, calci or what was it? No, it wasn't. It was polymarket. Polymarket? That is so weird, man.

Very weird. I would never watch it, but I saw clips. I would never watch the Golden Gloves. You could not stab me enough times together. The only thing I could watch, and I don't, is the, like, the comics opening monologue. Like, Nikki's funny. I could watch that. I didn't, but, like, I couldn't watch anything else.

There's no way. I don't, when you see, I saw this thing about, I just was, I, was it on a plane or something? Oh, no. I took, I took the kids to Seasutopia, too. Okay. And there was, like, an actress talking about, this is this new actress that all of a sudden you see. And she was like talking about the movie she did. I don't even know what it was, but it was before the...

Okay, I was so confused. Before the lights you went down. Yeah, yeah. Like, before the previews. Yeah. Yeah. She was talking about the movie, like, it was so annoying. And she's probably a fine woman. Like, she seemed nice and sweet.

But, like, the way they talk about these movies and what the story is and how the character, just how they embodied and what they had to do to it's like dude i don't it's so annoying it's insufferable i think it's it's fine if you're in the writers room talking about it making a movie but like when letterboxed is just interviewing you and you're just like well you know it would be like when i when i go to work what how i really feel about it's like dude the arts is just fix the fucking toilet right right right right i don't give a fucking shit how you do it oh it's it's great that you're great at it that's why i'm paying you yeah that's why i'm paying to see him movie because you're great at your job. I don't give

a shit what goes on in the sausage factory, dude, like shut up. You're so self-important. That's why the Golden Glove suck. That's what it is. The Oscars suck. It's right. All press bullshit sucks. It all sucks. That's what I'm saying. That's basically what I was getting at. But yeah. Before we start, one thing about

movies, I just realized this is on my drink holder. I don't know if you guys can see. It says Jay Kelly, the new movie, Jay Kelly. Nothing makes me more confused and angry than when the title of a movie is a made-up guy's name.

I don't like that either, bro. And how about this? I didn't realize this. First of all, Noah Baumbach made it. Noah fucking bomb suck. I don't know what I mean? I wonder you were going to land that one.

But that's first things first. Second thing, second, the tagline is all my memories are movies. How much of an asshole? It depends on what's the movie about, though. It's about a guy who's like aging and he's like, it's like trying to be a version of eight and a half

like he's like this aging actor who's like what was my life like get the fuck out of here shut the fuck okay well j kelly dude you made up the name and then just titled that the movie yeah it's and the name happens to be jay kelly not happy gilmore no i know it's lazy but but it's okay to do in a book though i think right i don't know i just don't like no bomb box so whatever well fine uh uh but That's your coffee now. So you can take that off.

You can check it out. Hey, look, Noah. Check it out and stuff. How do you feel about that, Noah? Noah out there. There's your Jay Kelly. A neck cramp. Matt, Chris, huge fans, listen to all the podcasts.

Chris, I saw you last year in Savannah. Can't wait for the new tour. Quick question. Why do you think complaining about things in general or dogging on a person is sometimes the basis of bonding with another person? For example, Matt, I'm about to bond with you. Your brother, this guy, is on the Golden Hour. Okay?

Talking about reverse burpees and how only 4% of people in the world can do them. Shows a video. Easiest thing I've ever seen in my life. Easier than a push-up. He's obsessed with the gym. It's ridiculous. I'm sitting in the parking lot of a gym, about to go into the gym. Don't want to hear it anymore.

I'm just kidding. Anyway, I can't listen to all my pocket. Love you guys. while you're in town, Chris, if you want a day pass to a gym, best gym here is called Fitness Central. It's awesome. We've got everything. Thanks.

Heck yeah. Giving your tips, dude. But that wasn't a comment on it not being easy. It was a comment on how hard the world, how fat everyone is, that you can't do a reverse perpy. Also, I didn't say 4%. The guy's making stuff up. You're literally saying he's slendering you? Probably, yeah.

I can't really remember. You could still. I can't remember. though what I exactly said. Get his info. Get his info. Get his email. Get his info. Chris is going to sue him. No, I don't think so. But I am, but I do appreciate you watching all the shows. And he, and I would say it's, it's because you let your guard down. You're able to let your guard down when you make fun of each other. And that shows vulnerability. If you laugh at it, right? Like, I mean, if you make fun of me and I don't laugh at it, I get my feelings hurt, then it doesn't bond.

but we don't bond. But if you make a joke about me and I laugh, then I let my guard down, and you even were vulnerable on doing so, saying what you were saying. And so that becomes a mode of bonding, I think, like 100% that's what it is. That's why I have so many friends.

I was actually talking about this on my own show, my Patreon show, specifically with the people in the comments, they were talking about how it, like men, all men were like, yeah, we do it because of this is a guy and women were like we don't really do that as much it's not that we don't do that it's just a little less like pointed and like hard hardcore kind of because men will be like you're fucking you're a fat what did you get a what'd you get that fucking haircut right right right right right cizher hands or whatever the fuck you know what I mean like so rude you know

yeah but like women aren't really like that but yeah I think I think it's uh it it it's it's this I don't know it's a weird psychological thing where like I mean look some guys don't stand for that some guys are not in yeah I know but those guys I can't be around Of course but but it's it's a part of certain cultures I think Italians do it

I think it's very Jewish people do it black people definitely do it Latino people do it but I think there's like I think it's not as waspy like like classic like white white people are typically less prone to that

Culturally, I think, you know? In America. Black people will do it when it doesn't even make sense. It'll be like, this motherfucker got here early. Right, yeah. But, yeah, I do feel... They're also the best at it, though. They are the best in it, though. They are the best in it.

Yeah, they're pretty damn fucking good at it. Yeah. But I would say it's... I would probably rank... Well, I definitely would rank that in the top five things about guys. Well... That you can just make fun of each other and laugh. Because that's not...

Top five, not like family feud, but like your favorite things about guys. Yeah. Yeah, no, but yeah, no, it's... It is a genuine relief when you find friends or realize your friends can take it, just take it!

As hard as you can... As you can dish it. You know what I mean? Like, or you can take it as much as they can dish it and vice versa, yeah. I mean, there's... Women just don't... You certainly... It's certainly not, they just don't really do that.

I mean, they can do it. Yeah, I know. God, their way of bonding is just talking about another woman. Sexics. But it's true, though. Sexes. No, it's true, though. They love talking about situations that other women have been in and stuff.

And it's like, mm. Sexes. And so, you know, I just, but that's cool for them, you know. No. I just find it. I just find interesting. No. But I think that it's unbelievable when a guy is gay because how the fuck could you?

I mean, you know. How could you not want to be with a woman, you know? They're beautiful. I think about how. My wife is beautiful. How I wish I was gay. How much easier life would be. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you think that because you have your brain, you like willing. I'm the same way, obviously. But think about if you... But what if you weren't? Yeah, I guess so. But what if you had just wanted to...

Blast, but blast, blah, blast, guys. No, but... That would be so much easier. Because you could just be like, I want me... Leave me the fuck alone for a minute. And the guy would be like, I get it. Yeah, true. No guy I know wouldn't get that.

You know what I mean? I saw on Jim Jeffries' news stand-up's especially he has a joke about... Lesbians? Well, no, about marriages and any divorce, lesbians, and then gay men. And, like, the divorce rates for gay men are way lower. They gotta be. They gotta be, dude.

I don't know if it's true. Yeah. No, it's true. The divorce rates on gay men are way lower, and then man and a woman is next, and then third is two women's. Wait, two women divorced the most? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. Which is hilarious.

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That makes that confusing. me actually because he's like the common denominator is a woman you know wait what common denominator is a woman oh i mean i don't know if that's what he said i haven't seen the bit i heard about it that's what he's getting yeah he's funny as shit uh so but yeah so i don't know it's just like i would imagine gay men just like are like i get it all the time about their like when their partner is in a bad mood or it's like get me right well yeah it's so easy to understand because you're you're a guy but what i what i want some gay guys though they have like that female mentality, certain personality.

There's still a man, but like... Yeah, no, it's exactly right. I'm sorry, I'll cut you off, but Jim's premise is correct. Yeah. So, yeah, I, I fuck what was I going to say. I don't remember. But, yeah, so it's just... Well, women are just never happy, you know?

Sexes. Scroll up, scroll up. This is interesting. 78% of the proportion of the proportion of devourion of the... Wait, hold on. To the proportion of divorces caused by lesbians within the same-sex divorce rate in general. Oh, wow. Not that 78% of lesbians divorce.

Okay. Within the same-sex marriages, 78% of them are lesbians. Well, that's a massive swing, honestly. Massive, right. But that's why if you were a guy and you were dating a guy and you were like, let's be exclusive. And then the guy was like, ah, fuck. Last night, I fucking sucked this guy's dick. You'd be like, oh, fuck, man, come on, dude, don't do that.

Anyway, come here. You wouldn't give a fuck. You'd be like, I get it, dude. So did I. You know, it's just like... Are you thinking what I'm thinking? I fuck someone else else. Oh, my God, that's how about it.

You know? Yeah, it's just... How come we weren't nominated for a Golden Globe? Oh, I know. I know why. Because you have to be in Hollywood. You have to be in... No, there's best podcast now.

What? They have a... I know, he knows. But Amy Polar won. Right, yeah. Oh, that's what I'm excited. Yeah, yeah. We are the tippy top of the mountain in taste.

Was, we're not the tippy top of the mountain in, uh, institutional approval. Is, uh, is Joe Rogan? Was he nominated? Of course not. Are you fucking kidding me? I don't even know. Yeah, that's crazy. Well, what do you think is the best podcast?

No, but it, you, it's the biggest. But that's like saying Biden and Avengers win best pictures. No, it's not because a pod... It's the same exact thing. Not really because a podcast is not... It's easy to do. A podcast is nothing. Yeah.

So it shouldn't be a category. It's more... No, I agree with that. But if you're gonna, you just give it to like some of the biggest ones. Well, I think some of the biggest ones were nominated. It's not like they gave it to... Sure, yeah. But no, but the liberal leaning, yeah, I understand.

It's different. No, they're not going to vote. I mean, people say... Yeah, they're not going to fucking red states. No. Best podcast. No. Red Scare, sorry.

Right. So, but anyway, like, didn't, wasn't Call Her Daddy nominated? Look, you put Best Podcasts Golden Girls. Thank you for being a podcast. Who was it? Call her daddy. Armchair expert. Mel Robbins podcast, Smartlist.

Smartless, of course. Smartless, yeah, exactly. It's crazy. Oh, I've never heard it. The Dax Shepherd one, of course. That's so fucking stupid. I don't even know what some of these are. honestly. No, I don't, yeah. I mean, I don't. I've been a podcasting forever, but, um, you know,

I don't know, but it, it's just weird. A fucking award for like, she sits down and talks with her friends. No, it would be crazy to be nominated for a podcast. If we got nominated for a podcast, we'd be like, we don't fucking do anything. We would do a thing where we would go up and be like Nirvana when they won Best Music Video. We would just be like, you have, if you win that award, You have to troll the fact that you got an award for this. Well, now. That's what I mean. You can't go up there and be like, I'd like to think,

like, are you fucking out of your mind? I don't know what her speak was. She has to have made a joke. I don't want to watch it. But if she didn't make a fucking joke, something's wrong with her brain. Especially she's a con. That's what I mean.

Yeah, like, come on. Yeah, that's crazy. But you never know. Sometimes people really think they're, you know, when they're validated by 72 fat foreign guys, by voting for her for best podcast she might have been like, I really am the best.

You know, this second I really am the best. I was thinking about like how people become that, like Nick Shirley, right, that guy? Oh, God, yeah. But no, but he, to me, however you fall on that, he genuinely seems to me like he wants

better for the American period, right? Better for the American period? People, better, American, people, period. Okay. I mean, I could make an argument against you, but I won't go ahead. Okay. It seems like he thinks he's just and earnest is what I'm saying. Like, so does, yeah, okay. Everyone does, but, but so, but, but then, but, but, but, but he's young enough to where he, I guess there's that thing where if you're young enough, you feel like you can make a real change and you're like my generation, we need to do, right, that you lose that. And once you get people get in your

pockets, you change. People, mostly everybody changes. And I just wonder, I'm really interested in seeing what becomes of Nick Shirley in the next 30, 40 years. I'll tell you exactly what's going to happen. Oh. He's just going to become more and more of a right-wing commentator and then he's just going to get more and more legitimacy through various channels. And he's just going to get bigger and bigger. And that's it. Unless, until it becomes politically convenient to be another thing. I mean, the guy can barely speak, dude. I'm sorry, dude. You're a citizen journalist.

Get the fuck out of here, dude. You're not something. You're a guy with a fucking camera talking to an old crank. Are there fucking scams in Minnesota? Yes. Guess what? Are there scams in every fucking state

after COVID? Yes, dude. Like, this is not a revelation. More than half of the places he uncovered were literally under investigation already in the state of Minnesota. He fucked up their investigations. Yeah.

And now look Bravisimo, Nickshry. Well, I don't know much about it. All I know is that he's super young and if he, and I'm just saying like, yeah, that is actually so funny if he fucked up investigations. He did.

I mean, not funny, but. It's a complicated issue, but he, that is something. Of course it's a complicated issue. But you can't even say that without people jump down to throw it out. Okay, so anyway, but. No, the complicated issue has nothing do with Somalian people

or fucking rights. right wing or left wing. The fact is COVID created an opportunity for tons of terrible people to scam the shit out of the government. If you were to take all of the cases of people who did that, you think the fucking Somalian population would be even 2% of that? It would be alive. Yeah, no, everyone would be doing it. I mean, it has nothing to do with rape. It's just, scammers going to scam, dude. Right, right, right. Opportunity Knox Scammers gonna scam

So many people were like Oh people I know Scam the shit of the fucking government Because like I'm a small business They got 100 grand Not me but yeah Many people I do More than three people I know

No I wasn't one Or five people I know Technically have small businesses Technically did not need money But we're like Oh this is a thing Really? Is that scamming? I don't know I wish I did that

Two weeks later 100 grand for each one of them That's crazy It's a hundred grand And you have 30 years It's like a fucking house. You have 30 years to pay pay. Oh, right, right, right, right.

But that is, is that a scam, though? If you don't need the money, yes. Oh, okay, okay, I got it. 100%. I got it, I got it. Or obviously, if you're going to abuse the funds even more so. Right. But if you don't need the money, I would agree, I would argue yes.

Yeah, I got it. Don't take fucking money that could go somewhere else. Right. We better serve for someone who actually needs it. Right, right, right. Yeah, yeah. I'm not saying that my friends are scammers. I'm saying people take advantage of this shit.

And it was, if you wouldn't say your friends, you'd say, my friends and a family member. So it wasn't me that did that. I mean, did it so hard, you know. I wish I did it. What? You did what? I wish I took like a PPP loan or whatever.

Regrettful non-scammer over here. Do you think, yeah. But if I had to go do it all over here, I wouldn't do it because I'm, yeah. I didn't need it. I thought I didn't need it. I'm still working. So you did everything.

So then, yeah, you did it right. Yeah. You don't wish you did it. You did the right thing. I wish you did it so I could judge you. Sometimes I'm just like, dude, everybody fucks over other people and like... Well, here's the thing, though. That is not a reason to fuck other people.

Yeah, I know. And I know you know that. I'm not saying you think that. But like, that is the pervasive thought in the... I don't want to say the country. The world right now, it seems, where people are like, well, this fucking assholes being an asshole. Why can't I be a fucking asshole, too? And it's like, yo, the reason you can't be an asshole is because,

It is untenable, not to be a cock, but the categorical imperative, you cannot just say, oh, well, if that person's an asshole, then I'll be an asshole. Well, guess what? If everybody did that, then everybody would be an asshole, and the world would go, ka-paw, blow up, and everything's done. What's happening? Yeah. I think it's on its way.

Yeah, right. Very well could be. Anyway, fucking whatever. No, but what I... I'm busy after all that stuff. I wanted to clear up. Yeah, go ahead. The only reason why I think I wish I would want to do something,

that because I'm like I don't have things I want in my life still and I'm like these people who I don't know game systems more yeah that's people think it's gaming the system which it kind of is but then also they they think I've been fucked I can just everyone's getting fucked I'm doing it you know that was kind of what you're saying but yeah totally yeah so yeah everybody's doing this thing and maybe it's not that bad if everybody's doing it I mean that's natural human psychology too It's just a fucking... COVID fucked everything up, dude. Let's just be real. It's the worst thing. Fucking everything up, and we're still living in its shadow. We'll always be.

Thanks fucking... What was it? The Wuhan Lab? Thanks, Wuhan Lab. Really appreciate that, guys. Fucking killing it over there. Did they ever find out how it came about? Is it that?

I'm pretty sure it was a lab leak. I think that... Isn't that the consensus now? I don't know. I know it's still, like, not, like... Right. I know. Or people think it was a lab leak now, like experts.

Whereas before you were called racist, if you said that. Right. I think that's accurate. Right? But I don't think like a COVID report has come out. Right. There's no like official, yeah, yeah. Hey, just want to say shout out to Legends for sponsoring this show.

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things so go check it out legends.com legends with a z dot com hi matt and chris just wanted to say i love you guys been listening for a really long time you're so funny i love your dynamic reminds me of my brothers and i know everybody says that but it truly does and yeah i love you guys and also want to get your advice on karaoke i like to sing but i'm a little bit nervous about which song to pick, although I do know it's very personal to whoever the person's singing is. I just want to get your guys advice. What songs you like. Maybe which songs you guys would sing at karaoke and maybe give us a little snippet because you all are the best singers ever. All right, I can't wait to hear what you guys have to say. Never do rap songs. It's the biggest mistake that

anybody ever does in a karaoke spot. That's a good take. It's the, it's the, biggest mistake, dude. You get out of breath. You're bad at it. Rapping is... The worst is, I said a hit, huh? That's the worst one anyone does. No, I don't agree. I think that that one, because that one is... It's so corny and dorky. It's corny, but carry, nothing's more corny than karaoke. Oh yeah, what about this? Horan off free! Oh, the dogs begin to smell her. Whatever the fuck, the lyrics are. I always kill that song so

hard. I don't do karaoke. And if I was gonna... I would do it okay. I don't have any passion for it. When I sing, it's for joking. It's when I'm driving and feeling good, and it's not for anyone. So is it raining in your bedroom and I see here. The time's the ways to go.

That's so bad. Would you really care? I mean, ending everything with the, uh. That's how he does it, dude. That's how I. When I'll feel Uh It's raining in your room

Uh Uh Uh Yeah, no, I don't I'm singing is so weird If you think about it, man I mean, there are people who are Just so good at it

Like, so good at it And then there's people Less than that Any less than that It's so weird when they do it Unless you're like Some fantastic songwriter or

or performer. So many of the most famous singers are bad. Right. Well, I mean, look at Bob Dylan. Lou Reed, Bob Dylan. I mean... But at least they have their... Now it's all auto tune, so it's hard to tell.

Right, but they have their style, though. 100%. And that's what matters. That matters, yeah. But if you're fucking Chris Cornell or any better, you're just like, you're a god. Yeah, they're great.

Like, what even is going on? Like, how do you look like that and sing like that? Yeah. Like, sting. It's like, what the fuck is this? You mean they're good looking? is what you're saying? Yeah.

Like, what, you just won the genetic lottery? Well, yeah, but also you have to take into account

that I'm good looking. Okay, but can you sing like that? No, but, um, that's my point. They can,

okay, but I, I excel at other things. Okay. I bet you know what they are. Comedy. Yeah, but when Chris Cornell

sang, it was so, he was so sexy. I'm sexy too. Not when you're doing comedy. No, I am in a way. It's just not.

And when Eddie Vedder's up there with his, jorts on and his flannel shirt It's subtle though And he's just fucking slaying It's like he's sexy It's because music Sways your opinion

Which is cheating It doesn't sway your opinion It moves you That's exactly What are you the most fucking like Cynical person in the world It moves you It doesn't

It doesn't That's not moving you is what you live for It's what art is for You're moved by art That's why we seek it out Look I get it But what I'm saying is When I'm funny as shit

and this good looking however good looking you think that is I mean I'm 6'2 and then like I... You know fucking Chris Cornell already better but go on In the singing department

I like to see them I'm trying to stand up comedy Okay You ever notice Yeah Yeah What's the day with Can I sing

Can I not do it Scott Weirland You know That's not even a fucking Progen song Black old son There you go. I have some advice for this lady.

The what? I have some advice, which is don't do obscure songs. Yeah, I agree with that. Like, do crowd pleasers? Yeah. Crowd pleasers are great. You know what?

That is very good advice, yeah. Also, do a song you like. Don't just, like, do a song that you think people might like. You have to like it. And also, fuck it. You're going to be bad. Don't here's here's the biggest no no don't be like oh no I'm bad and that's that's that's I'm insecure about that if you're gonna do it do it and just own it do it with you just like

everything else like you're it's gonna be bad if you're do it with gusto yeah you got to just fucking own it dude people people like when people are bad and funny and it's it's funny and fun and it's like they're committed to it you know what I mean so anyway well how's it going out there, what's the deal with Black Hole, son? Won't you come? Being Eddie Vedder, but still, yeah. Yeah, but that's Chris Cornell, but yeah. I know, I know.

I have another, another thing is to do a song that you have pretty much mostly memorized. Fucking the karaoke master over here. You'll get to... And go from you, use your diaphragm. What's your go-to? Uh... Do you have one?

I have, you know what's really good is... I just said not to do obscure. I don't think it's too obscure, but ELO songs are good. I mean, yellow? Yellow. Oh, yellow. Oh, yeah, that's not that obscure, though. Doing the song telephone line kicks out.

Oh, that's killer, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Doing the song, I'm still standing by Elton John is good. You can fucking hurt you. You can get a note from that. Bring down the house with that one. I thought you said yellow, like the fucking. Cold play. It's all yellow.

No, no, no, no, no. Oh, no, no. Chikika, yeah. Oh, yeah. You remember that band? Yeah. The band is called Yellow? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. They're yellow with no W. That's the name of their band. Well, dude. All right. All right. But, uh... Own it, dude.

Don't... Pick it and own it. Don't... Yeah, and don't do rap songs. I'm still standing in a mona, mooney now. Pro tip. And my way. Pro tip.

Pro tip. Sure. You... Any country song, you can't really fuck it up. Oh, that's a good tip. You know what I mean? Like Conway, old school, especially. Yeah.

George Strait, Conway Twitty, fucking all this shit. Nelly. It's pretty easy and still fun. People still enjoy it. You can't do rap,

dude. If you try to do, I'm going down, down, baby, up, sitting in a range rover, boom, boom, baby,

let it go. Give me, gico pop, you'll be rock. Dude, by fucking two of those, you have to stop. So don't do that.

Matt's right with the Conway Twitty would be great. I mean, honestly, I kill the Conway Twitty shit. Oh, yeah? My other go-toe

besides Stone Tovell pilots is Conway Twitty. Wow. I just love to lay you down. Oh, dude. You guys got to see me do it. You all would melt. Even if you're a straight guy

I would like to see it. I wouldn't melt. Well, you're my brother, you might not melt. You would just sit there with tears in your eyes with pride, of pride. Wow. He's doing it. Ha ha ha ha.

Okay. Oh, yeah. We got the next one. Happy good one. Hi, guys. Calling from Minnesota here. I'm watching the episode right now where the guy's talking about menu options changing when you're calling it on phone. So I want to clear it up.

So it's just for other businesses mainly because, say, someone like me that's calling another business all the time. I got some stuff memorized. Like Matt was saying, you call in and you press the buttons. You just remember one, two, three, four. goes to this person, right? Well, I got to remember that stuff. And as a customer, you just got to deal with it

and just listen to it. And yeah. Chris, come to Minnesota more often. I don't know. I love to see you. And Matt, keep being cool with your hair and hats and stuff. And I live in a log cabin.

I win. Bye. I don't know if I agree. Or even he said nothing about it's for businesses. And then, What he said is nothing, and he said as a customer, you just got to deal with it. Basically, he treated us like Elon Musk treats the world.

Yeah, he just like fucking deal with it. That's how you feel about that guy? I feel about that. Yeah. What do we miss on? He didn't help us. No, no, no. If you have a different point of view, go ahead.

Well, these guys call in and they're clearing something up for the audience. Who's these guys? A guy like this with a submission like this. Yeah, yeah, okay. And he's clearing it up for the audience. And nobody was confused. There's no clearing up. When I saw that, I thought, oh, I hadn't thought of that.

Okay, but what? Hadn't thought of what? Hadn't thought of the thing that the first call that we got that was about why is this something. No, I remember that. But you hadn't thought of what? I hadn't thought about the thing that people calling other businesses all the time. A business. He's talking about at his job, he's a business calling another business all the time.

And they call the same businesses. So in that context, it makes sense. But why would a business call another business? Are you what? Fucking absolute. Hey, what's going on? You're doing... Infant?

Contracts or something? Yeah, we're just chilling. That's mostly who calls on the business. I know, but I'm saying, okay, so give me an example. So, like, Costco guy. It'll be so boring. I think we shouldn't do that. Wow.

I'm a farmer calling Costco, yeah, about my chickens, my weekly delivery of chickens. That's why I didn't want to go there. This is very boring. I kept it quick. It's not boring. No, I'm not saying you did. It's not boring.

It's not boring. If a podcast was talking about this, I would be fucking gripping. I would be gripping the steering wheel driving. Thinking. Like, just being like, whoa, where's it going? So, like, yeah, it's... All right, man, but what I say still stands. So how do you feel about that, dude?

Yeah, I agree. I'm a customer. Hey, whatever happened to the customer is always right. Have you ever heard the expression the business is always right? No. No. So... All right.

That's... Golden Globes next year. What? Golden Globes next year, he said. Yeah, submit that to the Golden Globes next year for that. I don't, yeah, I guess, okay, but still, no, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't like any of that. What he said. I don't care about it.

I think the guy seems really nice. I like him a lot. And he's great. But, dude, don't. Get me like that right now. He's in a world. In a world. I'm moving for you.

Where he has a different perspective and he's all up in it and it's like this. So he gets it. Right. Let me tell you from a customer's perspective. Yeah. In your ass. The end. Not a story.

Let me tell you something. All right. Followed by that. Once upon a time, the end. All right. Next one. What's up, Chris? Wait, go back to this still.

The beginning frame of this is the most dumb guy expression I've ever seen in my life. The beginning frame of this. He goes, look, look, look at me. Oh! He literally was going, he was about to go, oh, look at him.

Also just, honestly, just nobody's ever been more hungover. ever, dude. All right. We're struggling through it. All right. We love it. Let's do it.

What's up, Chris and Matt? I love you guys. Love the podcast. I'm going to get right into it. So was at work recently. Working a high-rise, you know, downtown. I was going to use the restroom.

And in this restroom, there are two stalls. So, you know, going to do a little paperwork. Walk in there. Somebody's already using one of the stalls. I go use the other one. Sitting there, you know, scrolling on my phone. And then this person next me, finishes up whatever they're doing.

And I'm sitting there and all of a sudden on my peripheral I see some, they draped this, the longest piece of fucking toilet paper over the dividing wall and it's on my side and it's almost touching the ground. I don't know if this person has, you know, an issue problem.

I have no fucking clue, but it was the strangest thing. So, just want to know what you guys would do in that situation if you would say anything. Yeah, I love to hear your commentary. All right. Why would they, someone do that? Did it say anything on it? Help.

The only thing I can think, and this is weird, I would think it's like... A gay thing? Like, not necessarily. Who was the guy in Minneapolis? No, yeah, exactly. Larry Craig. Yeah.

That's what it made me think of. It's like, that's so weird that it sounds like a beckoning, like a signal that only a subculture understands. Like cruising. Why isn't there? Bathrooming. Bathrooming.

why isn't there a signal that I guess it's because the only there is what but I'm sorry no I'm saying like where did I go today the gym okay if I was there and there's this whole thing where like a man and a woman have to court you know like if I see sometimes I see two like a guy hit on a girl at the gym I saw it the other day and um you know I don't know if she was interested or not but why is there not a clear-cut, sup, sub, and then let's go fuck in the bathroom thing. It's because women don't want to do that. Of course.

Yeah, that's of course. I know, but some women are crazy, though. Some. And some would do it. A very slim majority, but yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just kind of talking out loud here. But I think with men, again, to get back to this.

Two guys would do it. Way, I mean, there are, I mean, cruising back. in the day, when it was like still super taboo, the way men used to communicate their ideal versions of having sex with another man is they would walk around with certain colored bandanas in their back pockets, which meant I like to bondage. I like to get my nuts sucked.

I like to, I like to teabag. I like to color's that. I like to fucking get, I like to suck dick. I like the dick sucked. All this shit. He's wearing a green bandana, teabag him. No, guys, I just, it's cool. No, but really though.

It really is what it was. Green? Green was teabagging? No, no, I'm not, I don't know the literal color, like. Well, that's what I'm saying, dude. It was, but there was, it was that, like, deep, so all various colors of bandanas. Really? Yeah, dude.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tea bagging was one of them. Okay. I don't know. Dude, I'm, oh, let's, here we go. I just typed in gay B-A and it said gay bandana code and auto-completed. Oh, beautiful. Pull it up.

No, I agree that there's a bandana thing. Let's find out what it is. Let's find out what it is. Let's just saying. belt system in karate or what? Very, very complicated. Holy shit. Okay, so.

Worn on left. Look, there's hankies and then there's... Oh, okay. Oh, wow. So it depends on the pocket. It can be left or right. Okay. It means different things based on...

I've never heard of this. Okay, so if you wear a black bandana on the right, you're an S&M bottom. If you wear it on the left, you're an S&M top. Oh, and then right, the second one goes right to... a fist fucker. Red? Worn on the left, you're a fistfucker.

Worn on the right, you like, what is that? So on the right is, looks like it's top to bottom is, is you're a, a bottom or you're the receiver.

Right. Dominant or submissive, if you will. Yes. Thank you. Yeah. So. Oh my God.

Yellow. This is clear. Yellow. Piss is on the left. It's pissed on the right. Bro, imagine you just started doing it in a guy's like, dude,

I'm part of a gang. Dude, they got to get so specific that there's different colors. Wants head. Different versions of the color. Dude, worn on left, wants head. Lieutenant.

Dude, wouldn't that just be all of them? Lieutenant Blue. On the left, wants head. On the right gives head. What is what? A white just means, white just means, like, you're a softie. You love vanilla on either side.

That's what I would have. Oh, my God. Orange means anything, anytime on the left. And on the right, it means nothing now. Dude, that's so confusing. Oh, that's just like, yeah, that is very confusing. You got to know you're right from left. Okay.

So, dildo Fuck, what is CBT? Top, CBT bottom, teal on the bottom. Oh, that's not me teal, but you don't know? No, I don't. Not cognitive behavioral behavior. Sexual, sexuality. Yeah, there we go.

Cognitive behavior therapy. Cognitive behavior. Wait, affirmative. It says right here. But that's not. Oh, no, it's not, yeah. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Do sex.

Do sex. CBT gay gay sex there you go I don't what the fuck I don't like that

he's saying meaning oh a cock and ball torture we got it cock and ball torture oh nice the fact that you put meaning in there it was fucking

everything up you should have known that after the first time and then he did go back to the wait wait wait I want to see

what the cock and ball torture left and right difference is oh it's important to me okay so

one on left cock and ball torture top he obviously on the right he takes the lighter to the bottom what is that even

on the left On the left, you take the flame to the balls and you go, oh, and on the right, if you wear it on the right, you're the guy who lets the guy do it. Oh, okay, yeah. Obviously. As a T-O-1.

Okay. So, isn't that interesting? What would you have Googled to figure out CBT? I would not have wrote meaning because I know that CBT means cognitive behavior. I would have thought, CBT gay sex. I would have put CBT cruising, but,

oh, that's probably best. But cruising is a sick-ass movie with Al Pacino. Yeah. Yeah, there you go. Dude, this is an incredible thing to learn today. It's wild, right? You knew about it for how long? Ever since I saw the movie cruising, actually.

Gay. Vanilla gay sex meaning. That doesn't answer when, though. I don't know when you saw that movie. Yeah, it just means regular. Oh, my God, look it. The white one doesn't matter what pocket it's in. If it's white, it just means you love to just have regular gay sex.

Regular giving in. What's the one for just a conversation? That's the one I would have. The white is probably closest to that. No, no, no, nothing now. Orange in the right pocket is nothing now. Just a conversation, I'd wear whatever that color is, and also wants head on the left.

I'd have two bandanas. One light blue one on my left, and the other one just conversations. So if you're not going to suck my dick, we can talk. These are so specific. I'm sorry, I'm just getting very wrapped up in this. On the left, purple means piercer, and on the right, it means gets pierced.

dude imagine being like oh he's got the right pocket of the purple in the right pocket i can't wait to pierce him well i don't know yeah if this is totally like is there another version of this like maybe there's you know i mean they can't have be too many versions it gets so confusing no i know but you know there are joke stuff out in the internet you know it's could be like a this doesn't look like a joke to me no what is this gay dot com uh this is you bum's world the pack underwear dot com i believe it 100% pack underwear. That's hard hitting gauge your own. Look, let's do this. Oh, look at the fucking a guy.

Up there. Go up, up to the right. The picture. All of them. Wants everything. See? So this guy, so click that picture, so he would be up for whatever, really. That motherfuckers. If you know the code, you know what that means, but we don't know. Oh, so he'll give head. He wants to get pissed on, and he'll give head. He wants to get pissed on. He's also down for vanilla. It's crazy. How much that guy's into. Just got every band down and shoved it in whatever pocket. Didn't give a shit. Oh, he's a dildo fucker.

Okay. Does he give head or get head? He gives head. He gives head. He will fist you. What's red? He's a fistfucker. He will fuck you with a dildo.

Will fist you. He's a BDSM top. And Golden Gloves for Best Podcast? What's pink? What's pink? Is a dildo fucker. Oh, he's a dildo fucker. All right.

Well, you know. This guy's interesting. Yeah, yeah. This guy's... This guy's... The shit. Fucking tired. Yeah.

Guys, guys, I'm not bringing my bandanas. I am so worn out. And all I want to do is just kind of get some pancakes. The orange in the right pocket, baby. So this is now Wikipedia, so. It's all the same shit. Scat Brown. Okay, what's changing it.

Let's do another one. That's what made you grossed out? Getting shit on your dick. Yeah, man. I was going to say. Cockatball torture, though, was up there, though. Yeah, but I've never experienced cock and ball torture. I never remember if it's spurs getting shit on you

Spirits getting shit on you Spirits getting shit on dude He likes to get shit on I don't want to get graphic Yeah But having my Willie Wonka Into a female's rear end And then outcomes

I broke the code I cracked the code The brown I cracked the code Okay Now I didn't get too graphic But everybody knows what I meant And I'm being respectful

I'm not gonna say who it was You literally said everything How it was How it was except for Willie Wonka You know who was Okay This is ridiculous This

There's way more Not. Look at how many different yellows there are. Robin's egg. You got to study. Look, look, Robin legs. You know, like this, like this. Like this.

You have a fucking laminated little guide with you where you go. You get guys going to go. Oh, fuck, I want to put my fists up your ass. Look, mustard yellow on the left means you have eight inches or more. I need that one. How many people lie about that, you know? Well. No, I need that one.

You'll get found out. Yeah. And if you wear it on the right, it just means you want a big cock. What's it on the right? Wants a big cock. You know what it means. I mean, what the fuck I don't? I'm learning.

Of course you know if... I'm learning. On the left side, you have an 8.5 inch cock. I guess I would have deduced it. Oh, you're a small penis. Yeah, I have a small one. No, it's that you want to have an 8.5 inch cock and maybe do like pink stuff with it. You know what I mean?

Two tons of fun and chubby chasing. All right, this is disgusting with the other one. The orange is on the left, anything, anytime on the right, nothing. It's all... This is locked in code. Please read the very bottom one and then we can move on. Wait, wait, wait, hold on. One second. Hold on one second. What does the bottom left thing say?

You know, comes in scumbag. The cream is comes in scumbag on the left and on the right is sucks and out. Sucks it out. Scumbag. Is a scumbag a thing? I guess. Let's not go down this rabbit hole. Let's do one more. Let's keep, let's keep it moving. Yeah. Okay. I thought it was like a 1950s detective.

Ah, you a scumbag. Damn, Anthony would be laughing so much. Oh, Anthony would be fucking buying bandanas on Amazon right now. What's up, Chris? What's up, Matt? What's up, Brandon? Let's talk about restless legs. I want to try to help Chris.

I am a recovering heroin addict. And one of the... I'm sorry, can you pause? There's many symptoms to the withdrawal. I'm a what? I'm a what? Recovering heroin addict. Okay.

He's in the smallest room ever, and it has a treadmill. He's recovering right now. The absolute worst one is the restless legs. The thing is, it's not just the legs, it's the arms. It's not just when you sleep, it's always until you get what your body wants. It's just the worst thing in the world. So I'll deal for you with the restless legs. I've had them and tried all the weird things too to get rid of it.

I actually had it last night. And what helps me is just switching where you're sleeping. I went from the bed to the couch. 100%. and it slowed down. Also, a weird one is hanging your legs off the bed. If you lay sideways on your bed and hang your legs off, it helps too. Okay.

Never heard that one. That's all I got for you. I just want to try to help you out with that. I love you guys. Keep doing what you're doing. Thanks, bud. I mean, I'm a former, I'm a heroin, but opiate addict, and I can attest that when you're in withdrawal, your legs be fucking, fucking broncos, dude.

You cannot. cannot stop moving them. But I have never heard that that lasts even after recovery. Well, I think what he's saying is he's a recovering heroin addict and when he's in detoxed, it's everywhere and his arms and his whole body. And now he has Restless Sex syndrome.

But now because of heroin. Oh. That's what I took. I mean, I have Russell Seekism. I thought he was saying it's stuck. It's the one. I know a lot of opioid and heroin addicts that have, they do have one thing that has stuck.

that has stuck with them from their withdrawal period or whatever. But so that's how I heard it. But you might be right. Yeah, no, no, that could be right too. But my point is Restless Leg Syndrome is Restless Lylex syndrome, whether it is has to go heroin or not. So the, but yes, switching beds does help, except that is so weird to me. And, and- Wait, switching beds helps?

Yeah. Not bed to couch, just beds? If I'm in my bed and I can't, you know, and I'm, and like, Chris is trying to sleep, And I'm moving my legs around. I'm like, I'm just going to go on the other bed. And then what? Pass out. Can I say something?

You're going to get mad? No, I might not. I'm a fucking restless leg. What do you call it? Sympathes. Syndrome. Syndrome. Oh, yeah.

Restless leg syndrome, truth, through. That's what I am. I don't believe in it. I know. And I wouldn't either, but. It's good that you don't get defensive. No, I wouldn't either, except it's true. It sucks.

It fucking sucks, dude. It's the weirdest thing because I'll get it for a string of like two weeks and then just not at all for two weeks or three weeks, four weeks, you know. Is it stress-related? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what is causing it. I tried eating more meat.

I mean, I've tried so many different things. Does anyone have, I don't want to get caught in the weeds here, but does any doctor purport to know the underlying reason? Or is it just treating it that they get caught up in? All I know is it's a, uh, um, mental, what do you call it? Mental deficiency, psychological, yeah, condition.

Oh, okay. Yeah. So it's not just physiological, your legs, just do it. It's not like a nerve thing. It's just purely like, it's actually neurological wiring. I don't know.

Okay. All right, let's do one more. But I switch beds one time. Actually, you know, you know what? Kristen was not even in town. And I was in my bed and I go, I can't do this.

I'm going to go in the guest bed. I went to the guest bed just passed out immediately. It sucks. That's a good solve. Yeah, it is a good solve, but like, not if you want to sleep with your fucking partner. And then also, why does that happen?

Well, that's what makes, that's what turned me into a truth. Yeah, I get it. Me too, because I wasn't a, I wasn't a truther until then. Let's do one more real quick. Okay. Hey, Chris, I just finished an older episode of Golden Hour. You're telling a story about how your wife, one time she came home late from whatever

and brought Billy into the bed, crying, said she brought him in because he was crying. Had you bring him back, you look back at the baby monitor or whatever later and saw that he wasn't crying, she just woke him up, so she just lied about that. And that made me, I just can't stop thinking about it. I would get a divorce. I just want you to, I'd give you two cents on that.

Like, that's normal marriage. Like, how do you deal with that, thanks? Wow, dude, that's the best. best submission we've ever gotten. What I don't... That's the hardest of submission has ever made me laugh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think

she was lying per se. I probably said that for a comedic effect, but what probably happened was, I mean, she doesn't lie, so what probably happened was, that's hilarious to think that me looking back on the, or any guy looking

back on the monitor and being like, what the fuck? He wasn't crying. Um, so what happened? I think what probably happened was, he was crying a little bit. And to me, she didn't wait long enough to go get him to see if he would subside. So she was like, oh, I hear him crying, I'm going to go get him. Yes. Because in your mind, you should just let it see what happens.

And in my, knowing me, I was probably like, she probably just wants to cuddle with him in bed. Right, right, right. That's probably what happened, knowing me and knowing her. But, yeah, I don't, I think, yeah, that's, that's really funny, though. And I do. I love him just cutting straight to divorce. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was great. On what grounds, sir, well, one night.

Uh, yeah. She said she heard the baby crying and I looked at the nanette footage and he was in and so irreconcilable differences. Exhibit A on my phone. See, it's not crying. Every nanit does sound like that. That's hilarious. Yeah. Doesn't matter what the room sounds like.

Yeah. I know that because I spy on babies. Yeah, I know. That's pretty crazy though. No, you just hack into the mainframe on Nanit. So, uh, check them all out. Yeah. See how they're all doing.

It's like, uh, minority. No, no, uh. I do it to make sure they're all safe, though. Oh. Okay. I'm not a fucking creep. Okay. You know.

I log in and make sure no, no, no, no harm's being done. Children left behind. Yeah. Wow. Okay. It's a lot of work. That's why I don't sleep that much at night.

I don't even believe in Santa. To believe in that is crazy. No. But anyway, uh, thanks for listening. Go to chrisley. com. Get tickets. I'll be in your town soon.

And I'll be in Australia. And I'll be in Canada. And America. Just go. Chrisley. com. Thank you. Patreon.com slash Matt DeLea.

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