Lifeline - 208. Under The Cellophane

Episode Date: April 19, 2026

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Starting point is 00:01:01 This episode is brought to you by FedEx. These days, the Power Move isn't having a big metallic credit card to drop on the check at a corporate lunch. The real Power Move is leveling up your business with FedEx intelligence and accessing one of the biggest data networks powered by one of the biggest delivery networks. Level up your business with FedEx, the new Power Move. Give me the remote. Let me do. That's not the remote.
Starting point is 00:01:33 That's not the remote. It's all good though. And you know that because we've done it. Over 200 times. Hang on one second. Fishing. I was such a, I mean, third time's a charm. There were no charms there.
Starting point is 00:01:47 I got a parking violation. But not, it was one of those ones at the bank where they just say, hey, you can't park here. They finally happen? What do you mean? We had that whole thing about you and the guy that works there threatening to give you a citation. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It was that place.
Starting point is 00:02:04 Same place. Yeah. Yeah. But actually, to be honest, it wasn't that place. It was the building, but it was a different lot that was designated for only employees. And I guess I work at Chase Bank. You took it even further this time. Well, because there were 50 open spaces.
Starting point is 00:02:23 And I go, oh, this is fine. Yeah. And so I did that. And I came back. And the guy just wrote the note on it. and was like, you know, I mean, it's like an official thing that they made. You can rip that up. No, I just go like this.
Starting point is 00:02:38 Yeah, exactly. And, and I won't do any. He just, I don't, don't ever have that. Was there a monetary? No. There's just nothing, just a citation. It says you can't park here. And I go, huh.
Starting point is 00:02:54 Like, dude, that guy, the fact that guy has to write that sucks. He's just like, no, no, they put a check next to, you know, in parked and not an employee. There's a box and he checked it. Like, and I go, and I go, and I go, oh, no. Has gas, has gas. But it's so stupid. Yeah. Toot it or give me a ticket.
Starting point is 00:03:21 This is nothing. I get it. I get, I get what I'm doing is not, quote, unquote, right. and it's, you know, their property. TOW me. I'll tell you what. Them towing me,
Starting point is 00:03:35 I would understand more than them writing that stupid ticket. Do they think it's a warning, maybe, I guess? Will you do it again? Oh, yeah. Of course he will. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:44 Of course he will. I'll do it again. I'll have a scrapbook with those in it. As he should do it again with that kind of. I'll collect those and laminate them
Starting point is 00:03:53 and wear them around my neck like a wrapper. That's just pure temptation asking for it, to give you a citation like that is actual nothing? Well, here's the thing. Okay. Honestly.
Starting point is 00:04:03 I shouldn't, I shouldn't do that. It was for, you know, 15 minutes. And also, if there weren't, and I mean an overwhelming amount of spots open. I was going to ask you said 50. Is that like an actual? Yes. Wow. And here's another thing.
Starting point is 00:04:20 None of them were designated for a specific person. That is another reason why I did it. Just an employee. If it was, you know, So and so spot. Copenhagen. S. Copenhagen.
Starting point is 00:04:30 I would have been like, no, I'm not, I'm not going to park in her spot or his. Yeah. I agree with Sarah Copenhagen's spot. All the things are saying. But yeah, if there were only five spaces open, I also wouldn't do it. But there were, I mean, I'm saying at least 25. Yeah. It was a lot.
Starting point is 00:04:47 And, and, and like, you know, not like one taking one not, one taken one not, a huge open available. That's really annoying that they... So I just go, oh, I'm just going to do this anymore. And then you just do it again next time you go. For sure. Oh, oh, and they put up cones on the exit. This is like everything they're doing is something that isn't something that is going to thwart anything. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:17 They put cones, so I get out the car, I go like this, huh. I get out the car, I go like I move a cone, I move another cone, I moved, there were four cones, I moved them, I go like this. I go, huh. No. Huh. The guy from Police Academy. Because I don't care. I wouldn't, I would do the exact same thing.
Starting point is 00:05:41 And I think most people would. I don't even say, does it say to do something? Was it, or is it just saying, don't, that's such a waste of so much? Exactly. And it doesn't even say, we will tow you. It's a matter of fact, it says, if you have any questions, call this line.
Starting point is 00:05:57 Imagine what, I mean, hey guys, so. Just call it, yeah. So I have to get a job here now because of it? Because it says for employees. No. Oh, oh, oh, oh, okay, it shouldn't do it. Okay. Doo.
Starting point is 00:06:10 So, yeah, I just, yeah, it's enough, it's enough, you know, and I'm, I live there now. I wanted to talk about you on a family guy. Oh, yeah. Did you know that what's happening? Dude, no. And so many people have asked me that. And I wonder why that's the thing to ask. I'm not saying it's not.
Starting point is 00:06:29 Because you're in that world, I'm sure you know some of the staff. They obviously know you. Yeah. I would have thought maybe you would have heard. No, I didn't know. No. So you found out when someone just sent you a clip? No, somebody, yeah, people were like, hey, you're on the new family guy.
Starting point is 00:06:44 And I go like this. Oh, great. Right, right. And then I look and it's like just a silly joke. And I'm like, oh, that's great. This is an honor. Yeah, no, it is. You know?
Starting point is 00:06:56 Because that's one of my favorite shows. I mean, to me, that's one of the funny shows of all time. How many seasons is that now? 24. That's crazy. So, yeah. Yeah, it was really awesome. It was really awesome.
Starting point is 00:07:08 It was really cool. And then I posted and people were like, is this, is this real? Even friends were like, is this real? I'm like, you know I wouldn't post a fake one. You know what is really annoying about that? You sent it to the text thread. And my first thought, because I was so not expecting it. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:25 I just thought, oh, did somebody make? Right, of course, of course. Yes, that's annoying, but I understand that. But I hate that I had that thought. But if I posted on Instagram and said, oh, my God, this is an honor. Of course, you would know I wasn't joking. Correct. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:38 That's correct. Yes. Or we would think that maybe you got had. Oh, yeah, I guess so. But no, I would do, no. Yeah, you said a lot of different people were texting you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what made sense.
Starting point is 00:07:50 I made it very clear. So anyway, yeah, that was really cool, really cool. Congratulations. Thanks. Yeah, that's cool. Oh, also, there's a thing that I wanted. talk about, I guess we could talk about whose birthday is it and the, the, it's
Starting point is 00:08:03 Tim Curry, Ashley Judd, and the Rizzler's birthday. What a trio. So there we go. Shout out the Legends for sponsoring the show. Legends is a free to play social casino and sportsbook. Check it out at Legends.com. That's Legends with Azina. I want to say I, I guess, I guess, next, this is part of this.
Starting point is 00:08:23 Next week, I'm going to Fort Wayne, Indiana and doing shows. It was just never on my website and my my guy was like hey who are you taking to open for you next week and I was like whoa what are you talking about I'm home because in my head I'm like oh hell yeah and so and he's like no you have a thing he's oh no it's not on your website I go oh did I even sell any tickets like yeah it's almost sold out so I'm like and I didn't even promote it so anyway I'm to those people who listen to this Fort Wayne indiana I'm going to be there go to chrisley
Starting point is 00:08:54 dot com should be up by it'll definitely be up by now but then I'll be in Seanberg, Chicago, New Westminster, BC, Chrislia.com, go get them tickets. Thank you. Sign up for our Patreon. Patreon. Patreon.com slash Lifeline Luxury. Subscribe to this channel. Super good. And of course, subscribe, become a member of my Patreon. Patreon.com slash Matt Delia. Thank you. And yeah, that's what's that. You know what I was thinking about is that sounds like Touretza, you know,
Starting point is 00:09:26 but it's not just me choosing when to do it. Everybody knows that. Yeah. No, I know, but I'm saying now I'm going to talk about Tourette's. Oh, okay. But that made me think of Tourette's, even though I was choosing when to do it. Okay. Gotcha.
Starting point is 00:09:36 Chris, who did you watch on Coachella live stream last weekend? Oh. No one. No cella. I watched, what is it, nine-inch noise? Yeah. It's nine-inch noise. Was it good?
Starting point is 00:09:51 It was surprisingly kind of cool. The lyrics were, like, really corny. It's weird to see Trent Rezner just be a, corny guy, but the music was sick. Nine inch noise? It's a new, like, formation of his Oh, cool. Older sound, but it's, it's not the same thing, obviously. Right, right, right. And 90s and else was like so raw. Right, right, right. But like, and new at the time. Um, but it still has that same sound. I mean,
Starting point is 00:10:17 it's just the lyrics are kind of like, okay, dude. Um, but whatever. Right. Um, shoot, I was going to talk about something in the macaw. Sorry, keep going. It was moody. It was very rude to, but I just didn't want to leave a hang in my own. Well, I sensed a lull. And, I wasn't alone. It was me starting something. Chris, Colola.
Starting point is 00:10:32 It was me starting something. And he goes, hey, er. Hey, what's up with Coachella? I didn't watch Coachella. Well, talk about a lull now. No, it's not, this is not a lull. Do you think this is a lull? Right now, I don't think this is a lull.
Starting point is 00:10:44 It's not a lull. If you're talking, we're at odds. Being at odds is the opposite of a lull. It's the opposite of a lull. In fact, when I came, was driving over here, I was like, maybe Chris and I should get into a fight today because that is, the reasoning behind it is anti-law. He would manufacture that.
Starting point is 00:10:58 I would never manufacture that. What I do is keep it real. You would be real, though, if I instigated a fight, and I actually upset you. Now, that is a fair point. Yeah, but that wouldn't be very nice. I would have been the puppet master there. That wouldn't be very nice. But last episode was amazing when we talked.
Starting point is 00:11:13 We covered all the issues based on one submission. We talked about race, religion. We talked about trauma. It was just great. We talked about the Holocaust. Yeah, that's kind of religion. Well, yeah, not really, but yeah. Well, no Jewish religion, but yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:26 Yeah. So, but yeah, so atrocity. Atrocities, we covered atrocities. And that was the, that was a great episode. So shout out to the lady asking about should she draw in her eyebrows. Her name's Erica. Okay. But I'm just saying, well, I, yeah, but I didn't know her name till now.
Starting point is 00:11:44 Or I didn't remember it. I'm not like, hey, you should have known. No, no, no, I know. You bastard. Yeah, her name's Erica. That's how you should say it. Yeah, her name's Erica. But anyway, but you didn't, you go like this.
Starting point is 00:11:52 Her name's Erica. Like, I'm a fucking piece of shit. It was more like, here's on offer. Got it. Okay. I'm gonna kick each other's ass, but go on. Okay, okay, that's great. And that's great.
Starting point is 00:12:01 So, but yeah, I still forget why I was gonna say I'm pissed off, so that's great. So go to Chris and Dr. Come on. Really? He messed it up, dude. He thought there was a lull, even though we were literally, you were just about to say, you were in the,
Starting point is 00:12:12 wasn't I? Did you even know it? I knew you were going to say something. How did he not know it? I literally go, do, do, do, tuch, no, no, no, no, no. You said words. There were words that were said by you.
Starting point is 00:12:24 No, no, yeah, yeah. We could rewind the tape right now. I believe the thing you said right before I said, Hey, Chris, was, um, no. It was about Tourette's. Yes. Yes. Um, that was a well right up to that.
Starting point is 00:12:40 No, I have a thing to say. That was, okay, fine. Fine. I used to see people with Tourette's. Congrats. Where are they now? What the, what do you mean? Cock!
Starting point is 00:12:55 How often would you see people? With the goo-goo dolls. VH1, where are they now? Tourette's. Cock? Playing the goo-goos. Can't sound, you know. Well, how often would you see people with Tourette's?
Starting point is 00:13:07 Well, no, that's the thing. It's, I saw that one guy at the, what was it? The Bafas, yeah. And then I go, oh, yeah, where are these guys? What an idiotic thought? What do you, I don't understand. What is the before and after? When I was a kid, I would see people screaming out,
Starting point is 00:13:27 all sorts of stuff with having Tourette syndrome. I saw a guy at a fountain that screaming out, the N-word. He's a white guy, and I don't think it was because he was racist. Well, I was going to say maybe he was... I remember I grew up in the Deep South. Maybe he was... And all I heard was people saying the N-word. On meth or just schizophrenic or a number of things.
Starting point is 00:13:44 It doesn't mean it's Tourette's if you're just yelling out expletives or even slurs. I know, but like, you know, in school, didn't you know somebody with Tourette's? Like, when you were a kid? Like, some kid would just be like, Mom, birds, birds, or something. I knew someone that had a tick, and I knew a couple kids that had like a stutter, which is kind of, there's an overlap there, but that's not obviously Tourette's.
Starting point is 00:14:07 That's Tourette's. It just takes longer to say it. But birds. And so, but yeah, I, yeah, I just, I've noticed in my life, I don't see it as much. Do you think they're hiding? Maybe they got better. Joe Hayden.
Starting point is 00:14:23 Maybe they got better. I don't think so. But the BAFTA is a proof of that. It is pretty hard to not do Tourette's if you have Tourette's, I bet. I mean, what do you mean? Of course it's hard. No, I know it is, but I feel for those people. I really do.
Starting point is 00:14:37 Yeah. No, I know, I know. I know I'm saying you don't. I just do feel for those people. Yeah. Anything like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just like, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:14:45 Yeah. You know? There was a guy, do you see the guy online that his tick is this? So, is he religious? I don't know, but it's amazing. But if he's an atheist, that'd be amazing. Or even worse if he's Muslim, you know? I just
Starting point is 00:14:56 has to keep doing the Catholic thing or he's taking so many flights and he keeps doing that he's like oh god what does that guy know so all right so yeah so anyway where are they
Starting point is 00:15:07 and then also ah they're still the same I know no I know but I just see him less so anyway we should we could do a submission that's completely unremarkable but all good hi Chris and Matt
Starting point is 00:15:19 absolutely love you guys seen everything you've ever done and everything you ever will do and also asleep on your bed because I sleep in Sweden and in Sweden we speak like this this is a Swedish accent I think and I just thought that I could give you a little bit of material something to work with because your Swedish accent is non-existent it's very good it's somewhere between German and undescribable you have a great deal for melody Matt doesn't
Starting point is 00:15:54 his tone deaf. Oh man, it's whatever. I mean, it sounds to you. There's still hope for you, Chris. So, hope you come back to Sweden soon. And watch this video over and over and over and over again. Until your ears bleed and your eyes are full of my Swedish face. Ice.
Starting point is 00:16:10 I mean, so. Clean cut, David Sullivan. A fucking bond villain. Yeah. You know? The room he was in. I mean, I know he's a sound recording or something. But like, just the most Swedish submission imaginable.
Starting point is 00:16:23 Yeah. until your ice are full of this face. I mean, so far. So I don't know what accident is. Everyone over there in that area, if they're white and blonde, I feel like that that's just what they are. Scandinavia?
Starting point is 00:16:35 Yeah. Yeah, but not only there, but yeah. Well, what do you mean? Well, where's there then if it's not? Yeah, Germany and like. You think Germans and Swedish and everybody in Scandinavia, you're saying they all sound the same to you? That's the, I have one accent I do for that.
Starting point is 00:16:48 Got it, got it, got it, got it. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's just how it is, you know. It's literally how it is. But so anyway, that guy doesn't understand that. There's a few things he doesn't understand. For comedy, I do it like that.
Starting point is 00:17:05 Okay? I could do it if I wanted to really good, but I don't. And for good singing, I sing the way I sing. Yeah, but you are a bad singer, do you? Everyone knows that that is incorrect. Now, here's the thing. Am I a good singer? Right, no, is what we're saying.
Starting point is 00:17:23 Am I fucking a good singer? Like the way Kelly Clarkson is a good singer? No, no. Does everyone want to listen to me sing way more than they want to listen to Kelly Clarkson? Yes. I don't know if I would agree with that. Maybe it's a fringe thing. I don't know, dude.
Starting point is 00:17:39 People really like when I sing. When I'm humming a tune, I'm walking down the street, people go, whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no, see, now I know you're lying. No, can you, can you, like, be a little louder? Oh, stop for a second, do the whole song. I'm like, I got somewhere to go. No. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:17:53 And then a whole crowd forms while I'm singing plush by the Stone Temple Pilots, and that's just kind of how it happens. No, because you're fucking choking somebody and you're high on the fucking airplane. You took two pills in an airplane. That was Pearl Jam. That was Pearl Jam. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was probably not good singing.
Starting point is 00:18:08 If I'm being, I'm being honest, that was probably, no. It wasn't. And it is, and it never is. It's, that's cool. People appreciate the rawness, the fullness, the fullness, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, The gusto with which I approach the songing. So boring. That is the most boring thing I've ever heard anybody say.
Starting point is 00:18:30 But I will say this. I dressed age appropriate today. I had, I got, look, I got this. Okay. When I sell my business, I want the best tax and investment advice. I want to help my kids. And I want to give back to the community. Ooh.
Starting point is 00:18:45 Then it's the vacation of a lifetime. I wonder if my head of office has a forever setting. An IG Private Wealth Advisor creates the clarity you need with plans that harmonize your business, your family, and your dreams. Get financial advice that puts you at the center. Find your advisor at IG PrivateWealth.com. You didn't dress geographically appropriate. You look like you're fucking, you belong in Miami with that shit. Somebody said that to me.
Starting point is 00:19:15 Me? Before you. Really? Yeah. That's fucking weird The same thing? Yeah You look like you're dressed
Starting point is 00:19:22 For Miami? Yeah, he said, Are you in Miami? Lost his mind But yeah, That's a little different. Because I was, he DM me,
Starting point is 00:19:28 he's a friend of mine. He'll be at the San Diego show. I'll be a single How do you were wearing? Because I took a picture of it. I said, I'm dressing age appropriate. And he said, Are you in Miami?
Starting point is 00:19:37 But this is 46. So I had even a brown shirt under it and I go, nah, I can't. This is a little bit too. You know, so now it's a little less age appropriate,
Starting point is 00:19:44 but I am cool. It's very, it's all cream, huh? Yeah, I mean, white. Yeah, this is kind of white. The pants are white, yeah, yeah. So cream and white.
Starting point is 00:19:53 So anyway, stately hooked me up with all this stuff. They're great. So anyway, whatever. I'm dressing age appropriate, I guess. That's what's going on. But not only that. I will also dress really good to... Do you usually not dress age?
Starting point is 00:20:07 Are you saying... I think if you ask somebody in the Midwest, they would say, yeah, no, he doesn't dress age appropriate. I probably dress like a 30-year-old. To someone in the Midwest? Is what you're saying? Yeah. I mean, I have like, bright...
Starting point is 00:20:18 sneakers or even younger, you know? When are you supposed to stop doing that? I don't know. In L.A. you don't, but like, no. I mean, people in their 60s do that. Yeah. But when are you supposed to stop? 30?
Starting point is 00:20:31 Is it a thing anymore? I mean, no, but I do understand it. Like, I'm not going to sit here and be like, no. You know, like, look, if, you know, there's a difference between whether or not you say you like the style or not, but there's a difference between the way I dress and the way Jeff Dye dresses. he dresses like an adult. You would never argue I dress like an adult more than him.
Starting point is 00:20:53 But, I see, you could like one better than the other, but, you know, you go to some place like, whatever, Vegas or, or, or anywhere.
Starting point is 00:21:02 Yeah. And you look at the way adults dress. Yeah. And I'm telling you, they dress worse than any random motherfucking eight-year-old. They're bad, yeah. It's like they got like gray shorts
Starting point is 00:21:13 with red trim, a navy blue shirt on. on and like an orange hat with a blue brim around the brim and you're just like I'm sorry dude you're 63 are you all so blind it is pretty bad to be actually if I'm thinking about you don't have to dress like a completely like like non-thinking eight-year-old yeah would dress himself yeah you could dress in a chosen way that maybe doesn't make you seem colorblind and and tasteless I guess what I'm what I'm thinking you know what I mean right yeah so many of those guys but I'm thinking if you're going to show up to work what you dress like. That's the thing. You wouldn't wear that
Starting point is 00:21:52 at work. They would wear something more along the lines of this with a shirt under it, of course, not peeking out with the chest hair. Especially if you're a nightclub owner in Miami, you would definitely wear that to work. Do you guys want to get in? You got it. You're going to have to pay the cover charge, man. Fucking Carlito's way. You're going to have to pay the cover charge. Isn't that right? Just fucking coke smeared. This is too many guys right here. You have to have more women here and you got to get rid of some of the guys or you have to pay the cover charge. And the cover charge? $1,000 each.
Starting point is 00:22:20 For me to get my for my Kaukaina fund. That's right, my friend. Woo! Let them in. Bitches, come in. Go-k-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-gag-gag-gag-gag-kkkkkkk. All right.
Starting point is 00:22:33 Taking a break to tell you about Legends. Legends is a free-to-play social casino and sportsbook. Tons of games to play, things to spin, table games with live dealers. Legends is giving away a Tesla, a sick, Dada car experience and some other ridiculous prizes. All you got to do is play. If you want the details, sign up for Legends and check it out on their website.
Starting point is 00:22:55 Legends.com. That's Legends with a Z happening all of April. Drawing is on May 1st. Legends.com take advantage of the 100% match on your first purchase up to $100. And make sure to use the code Lifeline when signing up. Keep it legendary. Now we're talking. Love you both so much.
Starting point is 00:23:15 Now we're talking. My question is about flossing. Okay. So I went to the dentist this morning, and I floss every morning before I brush my teeth. And still, they say every single time, they still say, you're not flossing enough. Yeah. Your gums are bleeding. And to me, I'm thinking, like, no shit, my gums are bleeding.
Starting point is 00:23:36 You're poking and scraping at them with a metal tool. Like, everybody's gums would bleed. So no matter what, I feel like they just want to tell you, you're going to. gums are disgusting, which is all good, but just wondering, are you flossing twice a day? They never got me with that shit. Miss me with that shit. Are your dentist also saying the same thing? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:23:56 What's your flossing routine? We got to know the hard hitting issues. I miss me with that shit. Let me know. Love you guys. Bye. Thank you. Good submission.
Starting point is 00:24:04 Dude. Flossing is fucking ridiculous. You can do it and that's fine and I don't look down on you. But you miss me with that. you're not flossing enough shit. Genuinely miss me with that. That didn't hit me. Yeah, I think it's like,
Starting point is 00:24:23 I don't want to say it's a made-up thing. I'm sure there are actual benefits to your gums and general oral health. But like, I also think that dentists just are going to say that to every single person. I doubt there's a patient that comes in and they're like, you must have been, you must really be flossing.
Starting point is 00:24:40 It's just like a part of this. This bird, man. It's part of their, You must really be fuzzy Saying birds so many times This episode Me? Yep You did it with the Tourette's thing
Starting point is 00:24:51 Over and over again Oh I mean Then why did you say me Who the fuck else Would I be talking about? I'm probably Dentists I mean yeah
Starting point is 00:24:59 Flossing To me they're just like Stop You gotta start flossing You gotta stop smoking Larry Bird is your dentist You gotta stop Drinking coffee
Starting point is 00:25:07 I had a dentist Recently the last time I was at a dentist they were like measuring like my the length of my legs. You ever had that dentist that's like that? I'm not saying it's not true, but their whole like they're really hell bent on your teeth being like the, or your mouth health in general being like the main signifier of other things that might be wrong with you.
Starting point is 00:25:33 Have you had a dentist talk to you about this? Did you say measuring your legs? 100% did. They'd say push your legs out straight. and they check like how long one lines up with the other. A dentist? Yep. Well,
Starting point is 00:25:48 I don't understand. You have to explain it. I don't understand it either, dude. They're doing this weird like, um, alchemy thing. It's what it seems like to me. But I don't think it's bullshit. I think it's like some dentist like I, I honestly don't know.
Starting point is 00:26:00 And I didn't give a shit. I was like, what are you doing? Yeah. Well, yeah, I'd fucking fix my tooth. It's just king.
Starting point is 00:26:04 Oh, your legs are the same size. Yeah, nice. Anyway, open your mouth. I've heard, uh,
Starting point is 00:26:11 I've heard, people talk about how like dental health and good dental hygiene is like related to your actual brain function in some way what's that how many think it's it's idiot i don't know but it was like that there was a whole there was like a big banner when i walked in it was not my normal dentist it was like an emergency thing for a specific situation and she had this whole like list of like 20 things and it was like i was completely unrelated to my mouth and i was like why you trying to fucking scare me dude i'm just here, like a one little tooth thing done. Like, why are we talking about my fucking brain and legs and how I sleep, you know?
Starting point is 00:26:48 And put your legs, need to measure your legs. All right, and hold my cock. Great. Touch the frenulum tip. Keep massaging it over and over again. And splurt. Okay, cool. Now, open your mouth.
Starting point is 00:26:58 Great. Great, we got it. All right. Well, that was just a checklist. Oh, God, I feel so fucking tired. I'm exhausted. Let me take a break here for a second. Here's a napkin.
Starting point is 00:27:08 It was a woman, but, you know. Oh, yeah. Flip my bean? I knew you were going to say that, dude. Just work around my bean. Work around my bean, dude. Yeah, don't even, you don't need to touch it dead on, but work around it, tease me a little bit.
Starting point is 00:27:20 There we go. Oh, gosh, oh, I'm sick sorry. So let me sit down. Let me sit down. Here. And then here, take this cloth and just wipe it up. There we go. Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 00:27:30 So I think your teeth are good. Oh, shit, man. Maybe she was just bullshit in me, you know? Oh, yeah. Yeah, definitely. I never went back to her anyway. She fucking overcharge my ass. Wow.
Starting point is 00:27:43 To the nose. Wow. To the nose. To the mouth. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you don't need to.
Starting point is 00:27:51 I mean, flossing is, I don't, it's not bad to floss. I just feel like it's like time management is like, you know, put it, drop it. Also, it's very hard not to be sub bitch on your flot. Yeah, I know. But I, I tie thing. I tie one end of the room, other end of my eyes like it. Ha ha ha ha ha. Jim Carrey
Starting point is 00:28:13 Got to get the bottom Jim Carrey Wow Wow dude Wow I have stuff in my chest Lost your mind Dude it sucks man
Starting point is 00:28:34 I can hear the stuff in your chest Yeah I know But you know A fucking prophet A fucking prophet I can hear in a bowl of water. I can hear this stuff in your chest.
Starting point is 00:28:45 That dentist. So, yeah, and your legs are uneven. So, um, so listen, you, uh, you know, usually I find that usually the chest stuff happens after you get sick. Yeah. You do, you do. It's like the last phase or whatever. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:02 And often after you're already better. Yeah. Yeah, this happened first. I go, what the heck? Like a cough like you had. It wasn't even a cough. I would laugh I laughed and I was like oh it's in there and every time I laughed it was in there for that first day
Starting point is 00:29:17 and then I go oh I'm sick and then and then and it's still here at what point do I have to go to the doctor you don't have to go to the doctor you're fine all right cool you're better you feel better yeah no but you feel better yeah I feel better then it's done I push fucking wait yesterday you wouldn't have any idea I would say
Starting point is 00:29:37 you had any idea oops um all right we can do it a new one. That was a good one. Dude, okay, listen. I listen to Lifeline on Mondays when I work because it's more of like an effective use of it because there's so little content. Not like blame you guys, but it's only an hour. I mean, anyway, I literally couldn't even get home. I was so heated about a submission you all had on last week. Somebody called about is it okay for people to throw their bagged up dog shit in your trash cans? And I don't, I don't. I don't. I don't.
Starting point is 00:30:11 understand how both you guys landed on it being okay. Let's do it, dude. Um, for like very simple reasons. Let's have it. If you think about it. Now, Chris, if you're on your phone, if you're not paying attention, like try and really think about this. It's more often at the top of the driveway when it's empty because you bring it up at night, you bring it up right in the morning before the trash people get there. They empty it. You're probably at work or not home. And it's empty that entire rest of the day until you get home. So it's more often. You're more often empty up at the top. Now, when somebody throws their
Starting point is 00:30:44 fucking dog shit in your trash can, it gets to the bottom of the trash can, and especially if it's hot out, it fucking sits there and sticks to the bottom of the fucking trash can and smells like dog shit, stinking like fucking dog shit. What is dog?
Starting point is 00:31:00 I'm just fucking cock sucking mad right now. You can see that. Because it's happened to me, it sits at the bottom of the trash can and gets fucking stuck there and it reeks, bro. It fucking stinks. Oh, we know how dogs Oh, dude. I'm aware.
Starting point is 00:31:12 You're gonna throw your dog shit in my fucking trash can, bro? He's gonna make no points. Oh, dude, I need an LLC. I'm a trash company. Great. I'm fucking, oh, dude, I'm, yo, I'm a dumpster, man. Dude. He's not making good points.
Starting point is 00:31:30 Dude, pay me. I'm your trash company. I get what he said. You're gonna throw your dog shit in my, no. That I understand. Come on. But what he's... There's no way.
Starting point is 00:31:39 I'm so fucking piping hot, man. It's okay, you're fine, man. You're going to be all right. He's still pissed. However many days ago, he sent that submission. Listen, I hear you. I don't disagree with you that it might smell. Do you sleep?
Starting point is 00:31:56 Do you live? I don't mean, oh, I guess obviously you live. But do you often spend time within 15 feet of your fucking trash bin? And it's closed. And it's closed. I don't get what he's talking about in the beginning when he was like, it's more likely empty. I can explain it. So what he's saying is we talked about how you can't go on someone's property.
Starting point is 00:32:22 Yeah. That usually means it's not trash day. What he's saying is it's usually trash day when they're on the street. Right. Which means that they're likely to be empty. Oh, okay. But it also means that they're likely to be full. Right.
Starting point is 00:32:36 I mean, I guess. Because trash is only picked up at 7 a.m. Trash is often picked up at 4 p.m. People walk their dogs at all times a day. I guess what he's saying is they probably brought it out, not even necessarily the night before they brought out the morning out. So more likely it's empty, which I guess I could understand. Maybe it is an argument, which I'm not sure is right.
Starting point is 00:32:53 But I will grant him that. I do not give a fuck. Yeah, I don't either. It doesn't smell that bad. Hey, welcome to Mootville. Welcome to Mootville. I don't care, dude. It's like how, what are you, a fucking Wolverine?
Starting point is 00:33:05 Oh, dude. You're just in your bedroom like 70 feet away from the thing inside while the bin's outside. and you're just like, can't sleep. Yeah, yeah. Welcome to Mootsville, population, uh, welcome to, welcome to Pointsville, population moot.
Starting point is 00:33:19 Thank you. Welcome to Pointsville, population moot. I'm gonna flush my teeth. Jim Carrey, Jim Carrey. Whoa, dude. See, I did it for you. That's crazy. A muffler, dude, just a straight muffler.
Starting point is 00:33:35 I know. So I'm just like, Pointville Muff. I'm just like, What are you laughing at exactly? Oh, God damn it. What is he laughing at exactly? I like to know.
Starting point is 00:33:44 A lot of fucking crazy shit happen. Are you just... God forget the whole carcophony of it or what. I mean, that's fine, too. I was laughing specifically at a muffler. Thank you. Okay. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:33:55 Oh. I don't know if you would have got there if it wasn't for me. Oh. I said that they will nicely, is all I'm saying. But a waiter. But yeah, so anyway, uh, yeah, this guy, I don't know, man. I don't know. I just, I'm not sure. I like him. I know. I like the guy for sure. I like this. I like this. I don't even, I don't even disrespect the take. I just,
Starting point is 00:34:22 you can't catch me giving a fuck enough of a fuck about such a small thing anymore. I do, I just don't care. Miss me with both of those things. You're going to throw your tied up bag of dog shit in my trash the moment after my trash is picked up. Yeah. I'm going to have the same exact reaction as if you do it and you put it on top. of the trash to the moment before it gets picked up. I don't give a flying motherfucker. So miss me with two things. Miss me with putting, uh, me getting mad about putting dog shit in my,
Starting point is 00:34:50 uh, trash cans and then also miss me with the flossing stuff. So two miss me's. Also, you're not an LLC. You're not a, you don't need a, you're not a dump truck. Yeah. But your dumpster is a dumpster.
Starting point is 00:35:06 But yeah, exactly. It, it is for trash. What the, fuck it's like somebody's walking in putting it on your fucking couch god deserves to be in a headlock he does he deserves to be an uncomfortable headlock for a long time on the fucking living room floor he really does okay okay that's him in a little in like 20 minutes okay 20 that's a long time well no yeah okay fucking three and a half minutes all right it gets up all fucking it's all red yeah yeah i mean i don't i wouldn't go that far but i get it um i just
Starting point is 00:35:36 you can't catch me caring about that you can't catch me caring about You can't catch me Karen. Or miss me is the thing, but yeah. You can't catch me Karen. That's... It's Karen shit to fucking care about that shit. Yeah. I am.
Starting point is 00:35:52 A poem, but yeah, it is. No, I know. All right. Hey, guys, my name is Meg. We go way back. Yeah, we do. As you can see, from this and this and this and this. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:04 And I was in the first episode of my mind asking a question about being pregnant with my first born and wondering how I could effectively make his life absolutely rip and he gives him very good advice. So I'm here back on my due date, pregnant with my second kid. We're going from one to two. And Chris, I'm really curious, like, how you kind of navigated the whole challenge of like, you've put, you know, three and a half so, you know, however many years into your first. And then you have this new human who's going to enter the world. How did you ease that transition for your first kiddo? and was it like crazy going from one to two? Did it feel easier going from one to two than zero to one?
Starting point is 00:36:46 I'm really curious and I'm really anxious for her to come out so that life can continue to rip. Thank you guys both so much. Yeah, one to two is easier than zero to one. But it's harder. And also, I think the thing that we did right and are doing right is involving them with it, just involve them with it. Like, what do you mean? Hey, look, it's our baby, you know?
Starting point is 00:37:14 Like Calvin was like, you know, it wasn't like, I mean, you know, we did say stuff like this is your brother, but like, you know, we was like, this is all of us now. Not just, you know, hey, look, it's, it's our baby, you know, like. Did he go through a phase of like, I know you kind of did with me when I was, I mean, I don't remember, but like, from what I understand, I think. Like there were, there was like you were like mad. Yeah, exactly. No, no, I'm kidding.
Starting point is 00:37:40 What? No, but for real. Like, like you wanted, you were not happy that I was, I was in existence. Not that you were remember. I'm not saying. I know that. I don't have any recollection of that. And mom said it so you know it may not be true. Well, I mean, even if she was a fucking beacon of truth, it's so long ago.
Starting point is 00:37:59 No moms are a beacon of truth. Okay, well, relax. And that's what I'm saying. It's not a knock on my mom. Well, no one is 30, 40 years on. either. So like, oh, if you got a dick, you got a little bit of a better situation now.
Starting point is 00:38:10 You know what I mean? Did you get a little bit of a handle on the truth? Better handle on the truth is all I'm saying. Okay. Um, Steve. Fuck, what was I gonna say? Oh, yeah. All I would say is like, your old,
Starting point is 00:38:25 your ex, currently already in existence child, aka your eldest child, might have a thing where it's like, fuck this kid. Yeah. This thing, new thing. I'm the, I was the thing forever and now there's a new thing. No. That's the most normal thing.
Starting point is 00:38:41 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, like, you might get a little bit of that if you don't. Great. But, like, if you do, that's not a sign of anything. Yeah. Like, that's the most normal thing. Especially, did she say as a boy? She has a boy.
Starting point is 00:38:55 I know that. I actually don't know. I don't think she said. Anyway, but, yeah, especially if it's two boys, that's pretty, pretty natural, I think. Yeah, but, I mean, you know, more about this than I do. I don't know. Yeah, you know, we lucked out, I think, but but I think we also did it right. Yeah, I think just involve them as much as you can. Make them part of it. Don't make it like, I mean, of course, you're the parents and what you say goes, but don't make it like, you know,
Starting point is 00:39:22 it's you versus them. Make it like, this is all of us together, you know. I think that that's, that's what we did. And I think that was what helped. I think that helped because Billy and Cal get along so well, you know, occasionally they'll have that thing where it's like, I'm playing with that. And we say, all right, you know, it's Billy's turning Calisturn. Billy's turning Calist turning. And you know, it works. It works. But I don't, you know, I don't feel like Billy feels slighted at all. As a matter of fact, sometimes I'm like, why is he okay with that? You know what I mean? Because Calvin's bigger so he could just like, obviously like control something much easier than Billy can. So he's like boxing, whether he's boxing Billy out or whatever the hell, you know,
Starting point is 00:40:04 but don't happen too much. Yeah. There's a lot. Yeah. There's a lot. also dynamic with the younger kid you kind of just are more expected to go with the flow and therefore do because I think when someone has one kid it's like the world stops because it has to yeah yeah it's gonna be different for sure and the second kid is like well we've done this shit before the kids can be fucking fine yeah and that has a trickle-down effect it does it really does the whole vibe you know yeah yeah it's crazy how much more chill I was much more chill I was with um yeah billy i mean it exponentially it wasn't like half dropped it fucking i was like oh yeah yeah so anyway congratulations yeah congratulations yeah congratulations that's awesome
Starting point is 00:40:47 okay come on this episode is brought to you by tell us online security oh tag season is the worst you mean hack season sorry what yeah cybercriminals love tax forms but i've got tell us online security. It helps protect against identity theft and financial fraud so I can stress less during tax season or any season. Plans start at just $12 a month. Learn more at tellus.com slash online security. No one can prevent all cybercrime or identity theft. Conditions apply. Delea brothers, love the podcast. So I'm at a career job decision-making point in my life and I'd appreciate some advice. I am currently in a role that is super comfortable allows me the ability to have a ton of flexibility with my personal time. As at times made me really good money and as lately not been so lucrative but could turn around.
Starting point is 00:41:50 The reason I'm asking is because I've got three kids under the age of four. Oh my God. a four-year-old and two-year-olds that require quite a bit of funds to keep safe and happy and all that good stuff. So I've begun looking at other jobs to increase my income, but the minimal stress and flexibility and happiness in my current job brings is hard to beat. I'm not somebody that's sue. I mean, it's a sales job.
Starting point is 00:42:21 I'm not somebody that's super passionate about anything business because that's dumb. but I want to make sure that my kids have the best life they can have growing up. Do I look for something for more money and be super stressed out all the time just because that's what I guess dads in the past it had to do? Or do I stay in this job, work as much as I can to have it turn around and go from there? Appreciate your advice. Also, how sub-bitch is it to be looking at your phone and you're leaving somewhere like the gym and try to get into the wrong car? Oh, look up and think, oh shit. and then go to your car.
Starting point is 00:42:56 Oh, I would love to see. Let me know what your thing. See. Obviously didn't, you know. Yeah, I don't. I mean, that's the hell of specific one. It's so funny. Yeah, I don't know the answer to that.
Starting point is 00:43:09 It's a good question. I mean, is it mutually exclusive? Can you look for another job while you have your job, especially if it's low stress and you have time and you can kind of like look, I guess. But I don't, I don't know, man. If you can manage life and be around your kids and it's steady and you make enough money, even if it ebbs and flows, and you're not like pension dimes together, pension dimes together, then like, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:43:43 That seems like a pretty good setup. It seems like your setup is pretty good. I mean, it depends on what they need. It's not like, obviously, they can eat. What are you talking about? Buying them another jacket? What are you talking about? Yeah, when they're two and four, I'm not, I guess they, of course, you can spend as much money on your toddler as you want, but like, that's before there.
Starting point is 00:44:03 Yeah, true, true. Way before. Especially, not way before, necessarily, but it's still expensive. Significantly before, you know. But, dude, you're a father of three children all age four or under. I think stress might be a part of your life for the rest of it. Yeah. You know?
Starting point is 00:44:22 So whether you get a new job or not You guys got twins You're gonna have a ton of fucking stress Whether you make double your salary or not You're gonna have a ton of stress Like it's just what's up And it's particularly you're stressful now Because you haven't even probably
Starting point is 00:44:38 Probably haven't even figured out which one's the evil twin yet Right So you know you gotta watch your back double as much Until you realize which one is the true evil twin Stand your toes until that reveals itself Yeah so I would hold off until you feel at least like you know you have a good handle on who the evil twins is.
Starting point is 00:44:55 And then you can possibly look for other work. Yeah. But yeah, I don't know. That's not me too. Look for another job. Yeah, you could do that. Also, yeah. No, that's, that's right.
Starting point is 00:45:07 Oh, okay. What? What? I don't know. Nothing. I mean. Just tired. Oh, I thought you said something.
Starting point is 00:45:16 I did. I was trying to, but I yawned. Okay. Do you care about saying it again? He was going to say something. Somebody was going to make a stupid joke. Oh, nice. Okay. Cool. Sounds great. So anyway.
Starting point is 00:45:25 Hey, Matt. Hey, Chris. Two things. Just want to say, thank you for the past advice. I don't know if you remember, but I called in the past about forgiving yourself, and I needed some help with that. And Matt, you gave me some great advice. Chris, you made jokes about how I killed Charlie Kirk. So, you know, it's a dick, but it is what it is. I'm just kidding, Chris. I love you. I'll see you at the late show in Tulsa. But second thing, me and my wife have been really getting our life together to bring kids into the world.
Starting point is 00:45:54 But man, it seems like the closer we get, the more the world goes to shit. And I got to work two jobs now. So how do I know that it's a good time to bring kids in the world? Because I don't feel like that's a good time if I got to work two jobs. But maybe I'm overthinking it. I don't know. I would love to hear you guys's thoughts. Thanks, guys.
Starting point is 00:46:12 I mean, dude, I think about that sometimes. I'm like, what is this world I brought these kids into? I think, I really do think that that's probably something that every generation has always thought. And, um, yeah, maybe it's getting worse. But what, what's that mean? You're going to, you're going to not do what humanity does? I don't know. I mean, I think it's more, you're not going to do what you want to do.
Starting point is 00:46:35 You know, I understand. But to do it, to not, to not do it because you don't want to have kids is one thing. To not do it because, oh, it's irresponsible to bring kids. I really want kids, but it's irresponsible in these times. I don't know if that's a real reason. I don't know. Maybe it is. It's not a very solid, if you think it all the way through, reason.
Starting point is 00:46:54 I mean, I guess it could be, maybe. I don't know. But a good reason is I already work two jobs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Is it a good thing for me to bring someone in this world to add to that financial burden or whatever? That's how he should be thinking. Exactly. That being said, if you want kids, you'll figure it out.
Starting point is 00:47:15 Obviously, if you're already someone who works two jobs, to make ends meet, you're not a fucking loser. You're the opposite. You're going to figure it out. Like, adding a kid to the mix, of course, that's stress. It's more money in certain areas. It's definitely decentering yourself and your wife or your partner or whatever. But like, that's whatever throughout, I mean, that's just what that is and will always be.
Starting point is 00:47:43 But you're clearly, the way you're thinking is makes me say have a kid. because you're not like yeah of course what you were saying you never know if the world's gonna get worse significantly worse but like you can't let fear of where the world is going be the sole thing stopping you
Starting point is 00:48:01 from having a child but you know I would say the better concern is the financial one but you're already making that work and I would I would only imagine it would be a greater incentive to even continue making it work so like having a kid
Starting point is 00:48:17 I mean. So I don't know. There's one thing I would tell people who are wondering whether or not they want to have a kid. And I think people, I can't believe nobody ever put it to me like this because I really do think that this is the best thing to tell somebody who's thinking about having a kid or not. You, it's very simple, but I've never heard it put this way. I'm sure people have said it before, but I really want you to understand that you better be prepared with how much
Starting point is 00:48:58 you will find out that you can love somebody because that is very overwhelming. It is not just somebody you love. It is almost all-consuming and it is really something, you should think about because it's going to happen whether you want to or not. It is just, it is the most insane feeling I've ever felt in my life. It is beyond. And I can't believe nobody ever told me that. I know I've heard versions of it, but like you got to sit someone down
Starting point is 00:49:36 and be like, you got to understand something. This is different. It's not like anything you've ever experienced before. Let me ask you, though, would that have mattered? Like, would you even have been able to, this, it's like before and after a lot of things. No, you can't explain something. Of course not. Right. But I would have, but I would have, at least I would have been like, so that's what that person was talking about.
Starting point is 00:49:58 Right, right, right, right. Which is a little bit comforting because I am like, you know, maybe I was more emotionally closed off than most, maybe, I don't know, but like, it rocked. No, no, definitely. Well, maybe, maybe not, you know, guys and fucking. Sure. Oh, yeah, okay, yeah. Some of the other guys are Japanese, you know, and they're just like, I mean, you know.
Starting point is 00:50:17 And I'm Japanese. But they have big on honor and revenge. And that's emotional. So it's like, yeah, I don't know. I's only seen samurai movies. I've never met a Japanese person. So, so yeah, I just, it's, it's, it's something that is just that it's the kind of love that makes you sit down, dude. That's what it is.
Starting point is 00:50:41 It's just, you go, wow. I mean, rocks, rocks you. It feels like you're planted. to the fucking earth. Dude, it's unreal. I can't believe it, and I think about it all the time. I don't love anybody like that.
Starting point is 00:51:00 No, I just don't, I don't understand it. Well, you just give him his talking to. Yeah, so. He can't say nobody told him that. Yeah. So good job. Unless he doesn't listen the podcast.
Starting point is 00:51:12 I think he listens. Well, somebody still told him, he just didn't listen. If he didn't listen, he didn't listen. But anyway, yeah. Anyway, I have kids and I am one. Okay, go ahead. Hey, Kristen, Matt.
Starting point is 00:51:25 My name's Katrina. I'm from Washington State. I have a face mask on. Oh, yeah? It's very unflattering. But I wanted to ask, if you were to do a business idea that probably wouldn't make a lot of money, but it seems really relevant to you. What would it be?
Starting point is 00:51:40 Mine would be a face mask that's my word. That's funny. I love you guys. I would say, would you do one? Like a business? I only want to make money if I'm going to do a business. Everything else is leisure. There is no business I would start.
Starting point is 00:52:04 Wow. Such a, just the end. Sentence. I don't mean I wouldn't, I mean, I have an escort, but like, I don't mean, like, there's no, like. You don't want to sell off. I'm not going to sell things. I have no interest. in making products, trying a product,
Starting point is 00:52:21 to sell to people, even if it's to make people's lives better. That's not how my brain works. I would be bad at it. That's not to say, I don't have ideas where I'm like, oh, why doesn't that exist? No part of me is like,
Starting point is 00:52:33 I want to do that, though. I see a hole in the market. That's going to be my thing. I know that's like the entrepreneurial spirit of, I mean, America's like fucking founded on, but like, that is just not me. I hate to fucking say no answer, but truly, I don't think there's a single business.
Starting point is 00:52:48 that I would give enough of a fuck about like yub I'm pushing my I'm pushing way behind that that's interesting that's that's uh that's interesting um and that is not hate and I'm obviously no of course you yeah no we love that's just not me at all yeah uh I don't know if I'm I don't know if I don't know if I could I could be like that if what would it be whatever it was if I got hooked on it it would be over bro they'd be in every fucking house I I'm I would convince everybody they need one. You know I would. I'm a fucking lunatic. I don't know that. I don't know you're a lunatic. I don't know that you would convince everyone. Oh yeah. Depends on the product. Turn of product. It depends on what it is. No, it doesn't. It's about the salesman. You guys need, you guys need dildo visors.
Starting point is 00:53:38 You need it. You'll never bump into a wall again. And you'll keep her happy. Yeah, I don't know. Now can I sign? Yeah, I could. Could I put you down for a black one? You know? Now, how many can I put you down for? God damn it. Have you ever, I guess you shouldn't err it out because somebody might steal it.
Starting point is 00:54:03 But I was going to say, have you ever had an idea for a business? Dildo visors? Besides Dildo visors. They don't block out the sun. But they do if you're standing in a single right place, I guess, maybe. They don't block out the sun. They don't know.
Starting point is 00:54:15 It's a man. And they get both your eyes like top of this one, bottom of this one. Hold on a second. what um yeah no i i i don't know i mean i have i thought about a business yeah but i i don't do it well i know you don't i just want to be laughing i'm in the business of laughing okay i'm in the business of comedy that's comedy babe and uh i love i love it and uh you know if anybody needs any fucking comedian being done that's me does anybody need so foreign does anybody need any laughing done or no
Starting point is 00:54:51 alright no if you're in the market for some laughs come on over to me I'll be over here with my dick DildoVice run Yeah I don't I don't think I don't think I would care if it wasn't gonna make money at all
Starting point is 00:55:07 At all businesses for money Duh No but people Oh I guess that was kind of her question Yeah yeah yeah yeah Would you ever do it because of your heart No Oh fuck no
Starting point is 00:55:20 I love too hard For that You what? I love too hard for that. I can't love an idea. I have to love people. I have too hard. There's too much, you know.
Starting point is 00:55:29 My heart explodes for people. That's not applicable to what she's saying or really even your answer. My heart isn't for a business. There we go. That's, there we go. It explodes for people. Yeah, okay. I can't.
Starting point is 00:55:44 Okay. And to do it, you'd have to have your heart behind it. You're saying. Exactly. But you just said you would do it only if it was going to make money. Right. So your heart's money? We'll know what I'm saying is it has nothing to do with the heart. Business is business.
Starting point is 00:55:58 Oh, I mean, where are we going? You're yanking it around. Which one is what is your take? I had a rub and tug. My take is don't be in love with your business. Disagree. Well, no, I mean, you can and it's okay. But I feel like it's better to be, uh, treat business as business. It's like, it's for the same reason why you don't get into business with your friends.
Starting point is 00:56:24 It's, you know, it's like that, you know, you don't want to have to, business is business. Let me ask you a question. Uh-huh. What if you came up with an idea for a business or you had it, you know, whatever it comes to you. And you happen to love it. That's bad? No, it's great. Oh, okay.
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Starting point is 00:57:01 at 1-866-531-2,600 to speak to an advisor. Free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. You fooling yourself, though. But that goes against the thing you said. No, I just think that, because for me, I could understand
Starting point is 00:57:20 I get a product going, I'm talking about product. And I don't love the product and I don't even really care if you will need it, but I need to get them out into households. I would love that. The chase, you know, it's not always about the product, dude. Has this guy seen any movie? I've seen Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross. It's about the salesman. It's about the person. It's about the fire. It's about the, you know what I mean, the chase. Brass balls. Lost your mind. But it's not necessarily about the fucking, you know, oh, look, it holds your book up and you can read it too with the lamp. You know, it's like, okay, that's a
Starting point is 00:57:51 product. Trauma product, but who cares? So you think the actual product matters less than the person's selling it? We are the product. I mean. I hate when people say that, dude. When you're not sure what the product is, it's you. You don't like that expression? That's a famous expression.
Starting point is 00:58:09 You know about that, right? I know, dude. And you hate it? No, but I hate when influencers say it. When you don't know what the product is, the product is you? I know where it's from. I'm not asking if you know it's source. I'm saying...
Starting point is 00:58:20 Well, good news is that I do. Okay, good for you. But I don't like when influencers say it. it now. They've abused it. That's hilarious because influencers are the prime source of the the truth of that. I understand. So there's irony in that because they shouldn't be
Starting point is 00:58:34 saying it. No, I know. That's, influencers say that? You know, it's like, you know, as other quotes have, it's become kind of ubiquitous, is that very word? Online. Yeah, that's annoying. Yeah, it's always, it's like when people are like, it's so
Starting point is 00:58:50 Orwellian, you're just like, you've never. What's that? No, it can fucking read. Yeah, I know. 1984. Or even fucking animal farm. So shut the fuck up. You don't know what Orelian means. Yeah, that's the movie with Charlotte, the spider.
Starting point is 00:59:03 Yeah, yeah, exactly. Or Kafka-esque. You're just like, dude, you don't even know what that means. And that's fine to not know what that means, but don't use the term, you know. Kafka-esque. Dennis Miller. Yeah. But yeah, I like that expression.
Starting point is 00:59:23 What? the one about if you want It's a great expression The first guy who did you're like wow Then you gotta hear some fucking Somebody selling fucking skin products say it Yeah that's annoying Yeah I would imagine
Starting point is 00:59:34 You know A lot of it comes with now is the data The product is you That's what data yeah That's what it's born from The fucking Facebook era shit Right you know Which is like such a concise
Starting point is 00:59:45 Accurate Accurate Way to convey The sort of nefariousness of what Zuck the Cuck is up to, you know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:59:56 Ferris Bueller's teacher. Ben Stein. Yeah. The nefariousness of what anyone, Bueller. It's funny as we both don't remember what I said. The Deferrous of what I say?
Starting point is 01:00:10 Zuck the Cuck, yeah. No, no, I remember that, but the other thing. Zuck the Cuck the Cuck worst wrestler. Sitting in a chair watching other people wrestle. Oh, from the chair. Oh, he's just watching. Oh, he's so. jealous, look at him go.
Starting point is 01:00:24 Oh, jealous with the boys. Got a bonner, though. Dude, Zuck the Cuck. That's good. Oh, no, it's a special move. Yanking his own cock. Oh, shoot.
Starting point is 01:00:39 Oh, he's special move, sweating, smiling, but also kind of upset. Zuck, the cock. Zuck, the Cuck. Dude, remember we used to collect wrestling cards? Like trading cards, like baseball cards, but for wrestlers? You remember that? You don't remember that?
Starting point is 01:00:59 Kind of. Yeah, I do. Like, Razor Ramon. I should just talk about Brutus the Barba Beefcake on my other podcast. Remember our neighbor who we thought looked like? Oh, very rare. Very, very vaguely. Was it Brutis the Barber Bik?
Starting point is 01:01:11 That's what he said the other day. I thought it was Brett the Barber Bikkike. But he fact checked me the other day. Brett, the hitman Hart is by what we're getting confused by. That was just what I said after he fact checked me. And you were right. Was Brutus? Indeed.
Starting point is 01:01:23 He Googled. Brutus, really? I know. And I'm not saying that because I know it. I just looked it up. No, he looked it up all I was talking about it. Yeah. Brutus, huh?
Starting point is 01:01:31 I would never know that. Which is, by the way. Brutus the Barber Bufi? Which is, which is way better, worse, whatever we want to say. Yeah. How did we change it to Brett? Brutus is amazing. We just got our stuff.
Starting point is 01:01:43 I know that. I know that. I know how we did it. Didn't Brett the Hitman Hart have a brother? Yes. Who was that? Um. Brutus the Barber.
Starting point is 01:01:51 Beefcake. What a handle. Brett Hart and... Owen Hart. Wow, look at him. He didn't matter. No, but they were... Weren't they like the sexy boys or something?
Starting point is 01:02:05 No, that was Sean Michaels, bro. Oh, come on. Sean Michaels was a... He's not just sexy boy. Sexy boy. That was the shit, dude. Oh, wow. Yeah, that's wild.
Starting point is 01:02:19 Okay. The Bushwhackers were my shit. Yeah, they were a little much, dude. They were a little much. I like when they loved it. people's heads when they would come out. They were a little much. They were scary, dude.
Starting point is 01:02:29 Not to me. They pushed it a little further. Honestly, they are probably the scariest if I think about it now. Look at that. Look at that. That's deliverance. Right, right, right. Is he holding a Confederate flag?
Starting point is 01:02:40 Oh, yeah. Oh, that's a Union flag. Oh, yeah. Okay, okay, okay. What was that? British flag. Yeah. Didn't know.
Starting point is 01:02:46 Okay. How much is one of them dead, no doubt? Well, no, one of them is in jail. And the other one's dead. Let's look. Look, yeah, who's the red person?
Starting point is 01:02:56 One of them is for sure in jail. I called it. Bro? I fucking knew it, man, man, he died at 70. Oh, he didn't call it.
Starting point is 01:03:09 Oh, shit, you know? Wow, we're old, huh? How old were they then, though? They must, that doesn't even make sense.
Starting point is 01:03:15 They were fucking old as shit when they were at it. Yeah, they were. They're doing that at like 45. Yeah, what the fuck? But how,
Starting point is 01:03:21 how did they, how many times were they in jail? Hmm. I bet zero. I'll put money on zero. Huh? Oh. He was just arrested.
Starting point is 01:03:35 Okay, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's nothing. I mean, that's it. Uh, yeah. Okay. Wait.
Starting point is 01:03:42 What were their real names? Oh, Luke. Luke? No, no. Oh, no. Brian Wiccans and Bob, you don't say. Bob Miller, you know? Bob Miller.
Starting point is 01:03:56 There weren't even real brothers. Oh, whoa. What a fucking. They had a real. We got bushwhacked by the bushwhackers. No. But nobody said they were brothers. Oh, true.
Starting point is 01:04:06 Not even false advertisement. We weren't even lied to. It's not like their last name was Bushwacker. That's just what you thought. The Bushwacker bros is, I mean, I didn't think that was. Bob Bushwacker. I thought they were brothers. I mean, yeah, I guess I would too.
Starting point is 01:04:17 They were made to look like twins. Well, they, no, but all wrestlers were the same thing as each other, the groups. It's like they would, they had a team. It's like a, the Lakers dress alike, you know? I mean, they had such a worse name at the beginning. Go on. Kobe the Barber beefcake. Their first original name was the Kiwi sheep herders.
Starting point is 01:04:36 Whatever fucking genius switched that up was an actual genius to go from that and be like, you know what? You guys are the bushwhack. The theme. The fucking Kiwi sheep herders? That's a mouthful. That is so bad. They worked their nuts off to get to where they were.
Starting point is 01:04:52 But didn't they all back then? I don't know. I don't know. Why do you say they worked their nuts off? Because the story, they started out in Canada on an independent circuit to be. and the Kiwi sheep herders Really weird thing And then
Starting point is 01:05:05 Worked their way up And then I guess Vince McMahon found him Hmm They were from New Zealand Yeah Kiwi That's gotta be it Yeah
Starting point is 01:05:12 Oh yeah But then everyone's like Back then They were like No one knows what New Zealand is You gotta be from Australia dude And they were like I guess you're the bushwhackers
Starting point is 01:05:19 What is that an Australian thing? Yeah Oh I mean maybe it's a New Zealand thing too But I associate Oh because of the flag Okay yeah Well the bush The bush
Starting point is 01:05:28 Yes no yeah Oh what is that It's like known as the bush, right? Australia? It's like the outskirts of... Right, yeah. Oh, okay, I didn't know that. Same with Africa.
Starting point is 01:05:40 I mean, same with the Africa, you know? It's saying she didn't get so much. I never mind. Give up. All right, well, there you go. I'm going to be in Fort Wayne, so come on out. I'm moving in Fort Wayne next weekend. Go to my website, Chrissley.com.
Starting point is 01:05:54 It'll be up there then. And New Westminster and then Schaumburg, Campbell River, Nashville, Las Vegas. Go to Krista.com. Thank you very much. Thank you.

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