Lifeline - 213. Be An Imposter

Episode Date: May 24, 2026

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I saw my friend on the other side of the street. I was heading to school with the kids. I let go of mom's hand to wave. I had already forgotten their lunches. I ran over to hug her. She came out of nowhere. And then... It stopped.

Sometimes the moments that never happen matter most. Volvo's automatic emergency braking helps ensure a safe ending for everyone. Learn more at volvocars.caps.ca. One. One. And hang on, let me get the cord out of the way. Not necessary. At all.

At all. There we go. First times a charm. First times a charm is not the saying. I know, but I'm getting used to it. I'm moving on up. It used to be three times a charm. It was before that it was five times the charm.

Now it's just one and done, my friend. Put it there. No. Put it there there. Don't want it. Some guy rude. Me. Some guy was saying that the...

Making it up, you know. Yeah, it's going to be great. So, no. Some guys said that it's good to pause during you talking. And I am going to try to do that for a little bit, but not the whole time. Can you expand on what he might have meant? Like Barack Obama? Well, yeah, I mean, he did not.

He did not say that. Wanted to shoehorn Obama. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's such a liberal. And so, like our, Like our greatest president of all time? Who? Just said,

just said his name. Yeah, we know, yeah. Say my name. What was his point? Well, he said, saying you do this? No, no, no, no, no. Just in general. Oh, okay.

He said because to process for so people can process what you're saying. He goes like this. Let's talk about the pause. People have already clicked away. Why would that? That's the most bad advice for this. No, no, he would. was live speaking though.

Oh, I mean, it was online, obviously, I saw it, but got it, got it. Yeah, he was live speaking. And he was like, pretty scary, isn't it? Oh. Yeah, whatever the fuck. But yeah, so anyway, I got to work on that, but not too much, because my thing is talking and never stopping, talking,

and I'm a motor mouth. You know what my new thing is? Men. Men, guys, guys, guys, and guys. No, my new thing is I just stare into people's eyes. And don't talk, don't speak.

Gwen Stefani. Unless I actually have something to say. And it makes certain people actually like go on the fritz. Yeah. Very, very interesting. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about?

Yeah, I do it. You do it. Yes, that's my thing. But you just said you keep talking. Yeah, if I'm talking to a bunch of people in it, like, you know, on my podcast and stuff, you don't know, you don't pause. I don't pause, but, you know, on your podcast, you can't pause it, you know what I mean? It's so boring, you know, it's like a. Yeah.

Just dead space waiting for something to come up, you know? Yeah, I don't know if I'm kidding about I do it. Like, I mean, I've done it. But like, yeah, it's some people will literally. Well, because it's uncomfortable. Yeah, it makes people kind of just either over talk and then kind of give in to not like you're trying to get something out of them. But like they'll bend to your way. It is kind of, um, it is kind of, um, not awkward.

It is kind of uncomfortable though sometimes. If you're with somebody, there are certain people where you're with and you're just like, do I have to keep talking? Like, come on, dude. This is so uncomfortable. You're being so uncomfortable. But like, there are people who you just meet that you can just do that with and just not talk and pause and it's okay. It's basically not my fault ever and the person who's with me's fault.

Or it's I'm the reason it's good and you're welcome. It's a deeper. No, but yeah. So anyway, the pause is, we should have more pause. But what happens if you're talking to somebody and they won't give you a, you know what if they're waiting to interrupt you as soon as you know what I'm saying but I guess he was talking about live speaking but if you're talking in a room and people are having a conversation and you pause someone else is going to just jump right in correct okay okay so I figured it out live speaking

yeah the pause is powerful mm-hmm I agree with that right because it when someone's speaking publicly and they're just going to it's just like you're desperate yeah yeah yeah yeah Smell the desperation with a nervousness and you're just like, so poetry, poetry, you know. Um, you've been in those rooms.

Oh, you've been in those rooms. Like, in castings. Yeah. When you're on the other side of the table and the actors just like, they're just like, I can't even bear this.

I just let out farts. Okay. Real loud ones. Okay. And sometimes I ship myself. But that's on them, dude. If they won't make it that awkward,

then smell this. Interesting. You guys sure you don't want to say anything? Okay. Can you fart on command? No, but that was the... I'll eat a bunch of stuff before I'm just in case. In case it's awkward.

This is always so bloated when you're doing. Yeah, so anyway, my hair sucks today. Does it? Well, it's doing this thing where it's Poofing. Poofing's all right. What's wrong with Poofing's not all right? I got to be honest. Poofing is not all right.

I think it's good. It's not all right. bounces when you walk. I like the poof for that reason. I like the bounce. You're not into it? No. I'm into, I'm into,

you know, he's been outside kind of for a while and his hair's a little used. Used, you know what? I'm not down with the poof. And I'll tell you, I'll tell you what. I was never down with the poof. I was never down with the poof.

for hair ever man woman ever I don't love a poof on a woman I love a poof on a guy though that's gay yeah I mean whatever why

well yeah but no it looks so bad I don't know Is your hair pooping right now I don't I can't tell if it is now but it was at the gym and I couldn't contain it looks fine to me

but I like the poof so you're asking the wrong guy Marco said maybe I have Palumboism though and I thought he said Columboism, but it's what's... Palumboism is a detective about abs and bellies. It's when your belly gets distended, or no? I don't know. It's when it pops out.

You know those big workout guys after they take a bunch of steroids, like years, and it pops out like a turtle. Bubble gut or steroid gut. It's a condition in bodybuilding where the abdomen becomes distended and protrudes outward. And you have it? No, but he said, do you have it? And that's like a compliment in my, because I don't have it. So what it is is me being buff.

But maybe a palomboism. No, no, no, because you get it from steroids. Do you take steroids? I've never taken a steroid. Okay. However. What? You would?

Pause. I might take, I might start taking peptides. You mentioned that, but you said you weren't going to. Yeah. Yeah. But I had a company approached me, so we'll see. Hi, guys, welcome to Lifeline. All red.

Three weeks. Space teeth. So it's a, so happy birthday episode, 213. Happy birthday. You're doing it in reverse. You're doing it in reverse. Happy birthday. It's Sunday, May 24th and happy birthday too.

Well, Priscilla Presley, Bob Dylan, and Alfred Molina, who I think is a, I mean, obviously I'm not, everyone thinks he's a great actor, but I think he's a great actor. I email them once, and he responded, and he replied, your friend, comma, Fred. And I was like three cheers for me, dude. Wow. He's fred to me now. He's got to be old now, huh? Yeah, he's like in the early mid-70s.

He's so good. Yeah, he's good. Man, he was so funny in that Stanley Tucci movie where he played the drunk, uh, Shakespearean actor. Fuck, he was funny in that. Oh, the impostors? Yep. Yep.

He's also, I mean, the thing I think about him most in is boogie nights. It's just like the most legendary. Of course. one scene steal the movie thing it's so so epic I mean look at him

well you to make you on Lifeline to make those choices that he makes in that scene is just like

I gotta watch it again also the choices he makes in the first Spider-Man where he's Dr. Octagon loser loser The choices you know

what choices does he make eight arms what choice does he make let's do seven that's a bowl of joys um let's do seven uh no he he's great um but

anyway uh the yeah he's really funny in that a dear dear dear okay a dear dear okay a dear dear a hunter A hunter was a children's song A gent a true gentleman

A dear fellow A knight A knight A chivalrous generous kind Fred you know yeah i'll be in nashville uh coming up here las vegas salt lake city uh Denver Colorado Pittsburgh Pennsylvania braya california washington dc go get tickets chrisley dot com and then i'll be in miami be in banido i'm yummy um so yeah

and uh shout out to legends for sponsoring the show legends is free to play social casino and sports book check it out at legends dot com that's legends with z uh patreon members can now call in live on Wednesdays. It is still only $5 to join our Patreon. Patreon.com slash Lifeline luxury. Don't forget to subscribe to this channel. Super good. And of course, my Patreon, where it's always on and popping,

even when the show is not live, which is often live, the Discord's always on and popping. So become a member and I thank you very much. Wee! Oh, God. Okay. Um, yeah, my, dude, you know that song. First time and San Juan, me, he-ho.

You know, it's a viral song right now on TikTok, I guess. I just found out about it because Sam told me about it, but Billy loves it. Dude, he's funny the way he dances. Sorry, who did you say? Billy, my son. Oh, you ever met him? I mean, I thought you're talking about the artist. No, no, no, no, I know, yeah.

Um, uh, what was I'm going to say? There's a bad bunny song. Mm-hmm. Byrd Bunny is so lazy when he sings. It sounds, it literally sounds like he's saying Teamo Mataliyah. Really? Yes. It's, I think it's his biggest hit.

Teamo Mataliyah. It's crazy how much it sounds like that. Your name is Matt Delea. And on the show, I listened to it, and I listen to it over and over and over and I was like, he's saying Teamo Matta Leia. Wow. Yeah. What's the song called?

Teamo Matilia. No, for real. I forget the name of this song. If you pulled up. You forget the name of the song, you heard it so many times. I mean, I don't know. No, it's okay. You know, it's fucking, I'm not like a Mr. Bad Bunny.

Yeah. Yeah. He's Mr. Matalia, but I'm not Mr. Bad Bunny. I'm the one that got away from Mr. Bad Bunny. I mean, okay. Well, the broadest shoulders on the planet, that guy, you know? Who? Bad Bunny, like, can't fit into a room, that guy.

He does? I mean, yeah. He has broad shoulders? Bro, pull him up at the Grammys. Really? Well, at the, I mean, at the Super Bowl, he was wearing shoulder pads. Okay, but at the Grammys. I didn't know that at all.

Look at that guy. That's not real. What do you mean, that's not real? That's got to be shoulder pads. Come on. Maybe he does. He really does, yeah. He's like a super...

Look at that picture. How tall is he? He's got to be a big dude. He's got to be a big dude, yeah. He's only 5-11, dude. He's more than average. But he's got wide shoulders. Good for bad bonnie.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Google, I'm up on his shoulders. Well, I mean, you know, this one. Go to AI mode. It said something like specifically about your shoulder. Bad Phyllis has become a major viral topic for his distinct fashion choices during his February 26 high profile. Okay. Leading fans to speculate on everything from hidden protective gear to structural tailoring.

Maybe he's got... Always doing it? Yeah, he's got extensions in there so he could be fucking mugging other people. Maybe he's got more small shoulders and he's always got like extendos on it. The extendo clip. Shoulder maxing? Yeah. Yeah.

Well, it's working for him. I think it looks great. Yeah, I got to start doing that. Yeah. My shoulders are, I am, that's never been a problem. All right. You want to go into a submission? What's up, Matt?

What's up, Chris? I look like shit. I'm sick. Um, either way. Dude, this is what gives me life, okay? They got this, I've been having to drink this, this zero sugar vitamin water. I like this flavor. But this one now comes with more delish.

Wait, is that what it says? Which, if you look at, yes. And compared to the regular zero sugar vitamin water. vitamin water. They got the, there's the exact same. Wow. Nutritional facts. So it's like, where are they sourcing the delish?

Yeah. They taste the same. They taste the same. Oh, they do? How do you measure delish? Wow. Get back to me on that. That's actually, you know what? I'm pissed off.

How can they even sell this, man? Yeah. It's true. He is the dude from Big Labowski. you, but it is unbelievable how you, what, yeah, what do they just have a guy? They just have basically a Chad tasted for them. And he's just like, dude, this one is even more delicious. It's got to be just simple bullshit marketing, right? Well, but then, but isn't that, well, I guess because what is delicious? That's why it's not illegal. Right. Delish is nothing. It's not like

they're saying more nutrition. Calm or something. But that's not. But that's, well, that's, quantifiable. Then they'd get six more loads. I'm saying if it was cum, but, or laundry. But, but, but that's quantifiable. But since it's just delish, you can't quantify it. Also, no one would buy it if it was six more cum loads. Also, when I have sex with my wife and I, and I'm about to come, I go, delish, even more delish than last time. I go, and she goes, thank you. No. Well, that part definitely doesn't happen. Yeah. I don't think any of it happens,

but definitely not the last part. So, yeah, that is not, yeah, that's, it's a sneaky. I don't like sneaky shit

from companies. Well, then you don't like companies. I know. I know. I know. Companies are sneaking, dude. They're naughty.

Companies are naughty. They're naughty. Companies are naughty. Corporations are naughtier, dude. Yeah. But, but, but,

but what I was thinking was about Tiny Desk, you know, tiny desk? Yeah, of course, yeah. And they do, now I, I, I, fuck. You hate it. Of course you hate tiny desk.

You would. I hate the idea of it and in practice, I hate it. You're annoying. Go ahead. Okay. Get out of that room. Why? Get into a venue.

Why? Okay. Why are there books all around? Why not? Move that tiny desk. What do you want? Just a blank studio with black walls and sound. padding? Yep. Well, that exists too. Thanks. Keep it that way and only that. So, so annoying,

dude, you know? Here's the deal, dude. Uh, Tiny Desk. So you don't like ideas. Mm-hmm. Pretty much. Pretty fucking much, dude. We figured it out already, dumb bitches. You're, you're, you're an anti-idea man. This is why I don't like companies, because companies will be like changing their shit on you. They're like, oh, yeah, now we'll put the search bar at the bottom. Oh, fuck your idea. And Tiny Desk. is like this thing that's like kind of been riding the wave of, oh, it's cool, it's good, people like it because it's intimate, all right? And you're selling it.

You're making it sound good. Which is exactly why I don't like it. Why, though? I want it to be less personal. Give me the CD. Give me the CD. I don't want to see anything. Dude, fucking 1999.

I'll listen to it. No, I'm kidding. But my point is it's going to get to the point where they're going to have to do something. else. They can't just keep having artists on tiny desk. I mean, it's working for them. Yeah, I know. I know. But the, the, it has to turn into something else. But why does this, what is, how do you have time to be bothered by that? Like, don't, like, how does that brain space exist for you to be like, that pisses me all? It's my whole life. I mean, it's, I actually remember the first time I thought, I was like, this is stupid.

But I've seen enough performances on it now. This is sick. So here's the thing. It's going to they're going to do the thing where they go tiny desk productions or tiny desk live in a different place. And then it's going to be like this isn't tiny desk. Or they're going to be like tiny desk stand up or something. And why does it bother you?

It's just going to ruin it. It's already ruined for you. For me, but not for everybody. But I'm just saying the company always has to sneak something else in there. I was just thinking about this on the way over it. Grower die. That is the company corporation literally how they work, yeah. I know.

I know. And it has to be that way. Yeah. Yeah. Because you can't survive if your company isn't getting bigger and bigger. It's like a shark. You can if you're a small company. Right.

If you're an actual like, right, right, right. Netflix literally has to have quarterly earnings. Why? On the rise every single quarter. I don't, I actually don't understand that in economics, but it's true. Yeah. That's why, so many things. A suck.

Want me to break it down for you? Oh, yeah. Sure. So some of, yeah, so I don't get messages that are like, you were talking about a life point. That's going to happen anyway. Yeah, but maybe not if you clear. In the very simplest sense, once you go public, the, yeah, the only thing that matters is that you keep growing. So you need to increase shareholder value so that people keep buying the stock.

When the stock grows, then you can keep doing more with your money and you can keep making yourself grow. When you stop, when you stop growing, it gives room for whatever your competitors are. to grow. So it just means that, like Matt said, you'll die if you are not growing. So your competitors will win out. You have to be better than your competitors. That'd be a shark. Shark, shark, shark, shark, shark, shark attack. Children song. Well, no, it's a rap song. Oh, well. And it's so fun. Sometimes rap songs, new ones especially are basically children songs. I know that. I know that. Okay, well, I mean, excuse me. I'm a fucking trust Sarah Tops. No, I'm not. Yeah. A new rap for sure. And that song is so good. That's a real? Yes. That's a real rap.

song? Yeah, it was the first song that blew up Tyler the creator. I'm a fucking trust seratops. No, I'm not. Okay, making it less children's issue with the fucking, but yeah, I think that's what he says, though. That's exactly what he said, right? But it's good. All right, that's good. You know. I like Tyler. So shy. Taylor worked for Tyler. Taylor's so shy. A man wants. You want to air some shit out before we go on? No. Okay. You sure? So, so, so, so, all right, so you want to do another one? Hey, hey, guys, let's take a break. Legends with the Z is sending one lucky winner to L.A. to watch USA versus Paraguay. Paraguay. Playing in the 2006 World Cup tickets. What does that mean? Okay. Okay, well, it means this. The tickets,

flights, and hotel are included. Okay, but I don't want to go solo. Okay, not solo. It's also with a friend. So they get you and a plus one. Yeah, but, but. What? Is that it? No, that's not it. Plus, there are nine more winners that they are hooking up with a legendary game day setup for their own home. Okay. promo ends May 31st at exactly 1159 p.m. Eastern time. Winners are announced June 1st. Legends is a free-to-play social casino and sports book. Tons of games to play. There's things to spin. A lot of games. Go peruse. They've even got table games with live dealers. So take advantage of the 100% match on your first purchase up to $100 and make sure to use code Lifeline when signing up. That's code Lifeline when signing up for our viewers. Keep it legendary. Legends with a Z.

A B. Can you hear me? Draven, you're a superhero. Yes, Draven. Where are you from? He's a fucking... Castlevania? Writers remember from my Patreon.

Oh, nice. What's up, Draven? Big dog over here. Hey, what's up? I'm sorry if y'all were trying to get my attention. I didn't hear it. Oh, so busy. That's okay, man.

You obviously got a bunch of shit going on. You're obviously killing enemies because your name is Draven. Draven cruiser. Yeah, yeah, pretty much. Absolutely assassin. The Draven Cruise is your name? That sounds like it's fucking Draven Cruise. My Honda.

Isn't that fucking insane? Yeah, dude. You're a car. Yeah, yeah. Or from traveling. Yeah, dude, that is true. I get that a lot. You get that, you're a car a lot?

He's a transformer. He's a transformer. No, I don't. He's a transformer. He's a transformer. All right. So what's up, bro? What you got?

Do you? Hi? Well, first off, I just want to say, Matt, I love you, man. You're pimping, pimping, Pimpin. Chris, I saw you in Austin. And it was phenomenal. Thank you. Except you suck. Two people were drunk as shit and they were talking to me and my sister the whole time you're on and they got kicked out. I don't know if you know. They did. Well, yeah, I don't remember that. Wow. Yeah, I mean, that was yeah, well, that happens. Unfortunately, it happened last show. I had to throw someone out. It sucks. Well, don't worry, man. Your show was your set was fucking awesome. It was a good time. Oh, thank you, dude. I'm calling because Matt knows I'm a student at Savannah College of Art and design and I'm pursuing a career in graphic design and what's that?

You scad boy. Yeah, scab boy, exactly. And I'm calling because I'm kind of dealing with imposter syndrome and a lot of worry about the direction of design and all the creative fields right now. And I just kind of was wondering what advice you all had in managing doubt and worry as far is pursuing a creative career in modern times. Oh, man. I think about that sometimes.

I mean, I'm already obviously established and like I'm not coming up in the workforce, but my God, dude, it's changing so much. I mean, I started making you feel so bad about it. Yeah, I mean, I think about it all the time, as you know, but I think that you have to do the thing that you are the best at. And I think that obviously you think this is something that you're, the vast that you excel the most at. And I think that you can't, here's the thing about the future that is actually freeing. Obviously, AI is going to disrupt it already is so many things. It's going

to continue to disrupt so many things and it's going to fuck up so many things. But we don't, but we don't know how. So to stop doing a thing because you don't know how it's going to turn out is different. Yeah, you could veer and get your nursing degree because you know there's always going to be nurses, but you don't be a fucking nurse, and you can do that whenever you want anyway. Right. You're still young enough. Just do what you're doing and fucking, I don't know, man. I'm a big believer in like, it's scary the future,

but it's only as scary as you let it be. If it's that unknown, there's a tipping point. If it's that unknown, you're freed up. Because you actually don't have a fucking clue. Yeah. And to pretend you do and to be scared about it is not doing you on any favors. If you were going to become a fucking programmer or something,

that would be different. But you're going to use the programmer. I don't know. Design is a human thing, you know. That's a TV show. That can be what do you call it? Outstored by a guy. Be a villain.

You have the name. Yeah. That is true. What the fuck? Everything's always changing. It's like, guess what? You're going to live a long time. Sucks.

Bye. You know what I mean? You're not. Such an eye. You're going to just live a long time and have to keep working and that's what you're going to do. And you're going to, you're going to figure it out. So you have to. So that's already done.

I'd like to add to what Matt was saying. This is Chris, Marco. Be a guy that's doing what you're doing with the addition of AI in your toolkit. It's the best way to separate yourself because, you know, there's going to be the Guys, not everybody wants to just do your job. They want the people that are doing that job with, you know, max optimization. Right, yeah. We talk about that in the writer's room a lot.

And it's a mixture between that and the other half of it is imposter syndrome, which I know is just kind of like you kind of just got to push through that stuff, you know. And it's scary for sure. But this is like the first time, I'm 30 now. And this is the first time in my life where I'm actually trying to care. about the quality of my life and what I'm what direction I'm going in you know I spent my 20s like partying like everybody else says and now I'm trying to get it figured out a little bit so it's a little bit intimidating but I think it's a good thing you know the imposter syndrome thing is is

real I've felt it before but you know the the key is if it's not going to be you it's going to be somebody else and that's somebody else is going to be some other fucking piece of shit so like if it's going to be somebody why can't it be you that's the way to get rid of imposter syndrome. Like, it's not like you need to convince yourself that you actually deserve what you, what you may be going to get one day or are capable of what you need to be capable of. It's that somebody's going to get it. And that person that's going to get it is probably just some random motherfuck piece of shit.

So why not you instead? And I'm a nihilist? That's the way, that's the way to get around it. Yeah, I just, yeah, it's also. So you're an imposter, so what? That's another thing. Everybody's an imposter, yeah. You know, so fucking what?

Get a mustache and a top hat. And little monocle. Uh, hello. And be a fucking imposter. Who cares? Yes, it's me. I'm a coda. Or whatever the hell you do.

So, Dick. What does he do? He does design. I fucking, do you need any designs? Yeah. I'm driving. Hey, what's up? Do you need designs or dragon?

slide my name is driving you know what I mean yeah I might just start rocking the British accent yeah I might have to just start dude yeah and change it whenever you want be an imposter fuck this is that's perfect be an imposter that's me embrace it yeah

that's actually no that's actually very like it's it's funny but it's it's actually very enlightening there you go that's like a good take you know just push into that feeling you know yeah you do you lean in Fuck it. If it's there, don't pretend it's not. Well, sweet, man. Yeah, I like that. I'm going to rock with that. Thank you all so much.

Cool. I love you, dude. I love you. See you, peace. I fucking help, dude. I help more. I mean, but maybe not. You don't know.

There's some times where you help. Well, maybe person to person, but on a grand scale, I help. You know, because of sheer numbers, dude. I I um yeah it's uh yeah being a hoster that's great lean into it uh I just like sometimes I feel that way you know and I'm just like all right I remember one time I was at I was like 23 22 and I had just broken up with a girl and I went to this I don't know my my buddy no my buddy uh took me to this it was like a martini lounge or something in Beverly Hills and I

I was talking to this girl who was like cute, you know? Nice. And I was just like, what am I doing here? And what do I say to anyone? And I got so like in my head that I'm like, I give up. And then I was just a placeholder. I was a fucking paperweight just standing around until my friend wanted to leave. And I was like, that was fucking true imposterous.

Because like, why am I even here? What do I belong? And I was like, I can't ever have that happen again. And I always think of that moment now because it would never happen again because I, you know, you get older and stand up destroys that, you know, because it's just. So, yeah, that's so funny. I always think of that moment. And that guy made me think of it.

Yeah. That was, isn't that weird feelings are all in your fucking, it's all inside you and it just fucks you up or makes you feel good. But nothing's happening. Ah, fuck. What do you mean nothing's happening? I'm fucked. Nothing is changing.

You know, in that situation, some woman was just talking to me. Right. And your brain things are changing. Yeah. You mean nothing externally is changing. Yeah. Yeah. Like I woke up today. I was anxious.

And I was like, no, just don't be. And it took a while and it was tough. Nothing happened. Time kept going. And now I feel fine. Ain't that a bitch, dude. I mean, actually that's quite great. It's, I know, but it's like, why the first part?

Fuck! You know what I'm saying? And it's just annoying, man. Because do, like, other animals have that? No, that's what makes you human. Fuck! Do other animals have anxiety? Not that, but, like, you know, moods and shit.

It's just all so weird. Oh, great. Hey, thanks, Draven. You're making me spiral mentally. Chris is spiraling, so that's good. Good job, Raven. Fucking imposter. I wonder what that chick is doing now, dude.

She's probably thinking about what the fuck was up with that weird guy who just broke in front of him. That's why I never dated and had a family because he was so weird. Yeah. And now I'm a loser and I still work at Blockbuster even though it's closed. That's her life. Marco, never laughed like that. What? Never laughed like that, Marco.

What's the problem with the laugh? He goes like, hmm. And you don't like it because it's fake. Never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever. I don't, you know what I don't like about what you do? What? You decide what is a fake. laugh and what isn't and it pisses me off. Also what pisses me off is you don't like when people

heart texts instead of write ha ha on them. That pisses me off. And we want to, you on a full list? No, but the, the, your whole thing about how people laugh, the delivery of the, of the, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, this. This causes me no pain to hear you say this. I'm not trying to cause you pain. I'm just telling you. I'm just telling you. Real one. I'm just telling you. Real one. How fucking annoying annoying you are about other people's laughter you're like the fucking laugh police dude laugh police you're the fucking

laugh kastafel yeah why did you think it was funny yeah what happened oh no that was a good run last time that was a good bit yeah

did we clip it did he clip it or that sounds scary I don't know I don't think he clipped it That's fucked up because that bit was... We got to get on it. We got to get on him. Anyway. Yay.

We got to mount him. We have to mount him in bed. Rear mount him. But so, yeah, I... I don't mind a fake laugh, but not from like a super close friend. What the fuck? That's affecting our relationship. Chris?

Yes. Was it fake? The laugh? No. See? He says no, I know. Oh, see, this is bullshit, dude. I know he does. This is unacceptable to be like, I know more than what the person who's telling me about themselves.

Well, let me, let me, let me ask you something. Gunna, fucking utterly destroy him. Have you, you know what this gun is like? So there are, you know, you have like a significant laugh and then you have like an extra laugh and like your biggest laugh you possibly can. Yeah, there's different laughs. So what is what I did? I would say it's the smallest laugh that I could give. It's not fake.

That is real. Then don't give it. Give it because you have to. I didn't. He didn't do it because he was like, I'm going to do this to signal. It's involuntary. It is? Yeah.

I just have to believe you. Just like laughter. What a fucking asshole. What a fucking true asshole. Dude, this is how I was made, man. Is how God made you? I mean... I'm a made man!

I understand that we're made in fucked up ways. I'm just pointing out one way that you're fucking. You know, okay. I'm made in many fucked up ways. Yeah, I know, I know. I know. But I'm just saying you... Yeah, I...

Okay. Yeah. I mean, how often do you fake laugh? You? I mean, everyone does it. I was going to say as close... As close... As close...

As close... I never fake laugh. I was trying to hide it because we don't have a sponsor for it yet. Oh, got it. But I think as close to never as never could be. But you're more likely to fake laugh when you're with somebody you don't know, right?

I mean, really, unless you just fucking straight up don't like the person. Right? Aren't you? I think the answer is yes, but I can't think of moments. when I've done that recently. In like a professional situation.

Right, right, right. That for sure, yeah. But yeah, that's so if he's saying he's not, and I believe him. But if you give a fake laugh and you're a close friend, oh, your friendship means nothing? Oh, my friendship means nothing to you. Taking it's so far. You want me dead?

You want me six feet deep immediately? You don't even want a funeral for it. Okay. you want me disrespectfully dead. But you think so many real laughs or fake laughs, and that's what's annoying. I will laugh and you'll be like, no, don't do that. And I'll be like, you just made me stop laughing at the thing you said. That's so annoying.

Yeah. Yeah. I'll be laughing and then you'll say, no, don't do it like that. And I'll be like, well, now I'm. Oh, that sucks. Yeah. You ruin it. You ruined it.

Well, you ruined it. All right. I'll keep fighting a good fight, dude. And keep trying to make people laugh. Yeah. Well, you would never stop doing that anyway, even if you fucking tried. Dude, you know what? do you know what i couldn't stop that like like under any circumstance i swear to i swear to god

if i was kidnapped i would i swear to god i would still be doing i you know how they're like man in action movies are so annoying because the the guys always like making jokes even in the that i swear to god i would be doing that i swear to god i would be they would fucking kill me because i they go you think this is a joke Yeah, and it just does, dude, I could, I've, I'm sorry, man, I have OCD, I can't not make jokes. That's what I'm going to have to. That's what I'm going to have to do, dude. Plus, this is funny.

Think about it. It's traumatic, but it is funny. They got their masks on and shit. No, you're like this. Are you laughing under that mask? Is that a real laugh? Was that a real laugh? Excuse me?

Was that a real laugh? Hey, could you ask it? Dude, could you get the guy back? The other guy. Yeah. Hey, hey, what's up?

You know how I said the thing a little bit a while ago? Did you, when you laughed, you kind of went under your mask. Was that like, because you're like,

the gun in your mouth? That was good. Yeah. All right. Cool. You want to do the next one? Kai. Yo.

Kai, what's up? Hi. Hi, Kai. What up, Chris? Cool, bro. What's you doing? I'm just,

I'm just chilling. Honestly. Yeah, no shit, bro. Hell yeah, dude. Hell yeah. We just talked to a guy named Draven, and now we're talking to Kai. Like, this is fucking a street fighter video game, you pieces of shit.

Yeah, you guys got great names. Also a member of my Patreon. How about that, France? Oh, man. All right. So, well, what's up, Kai? I like the name Kai, actually. What you got for us, dude?

Thanks, dude. So I will let you on a little secret. I was born Kyle, and then I just removed the L. I can tell because it's K-Y-E, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I saw that. Yeah. So, yeah. Yeah. You're a clever guy.

So I just want to say, Chris, I saw you two, I saw you two years ago here in Portland. That was pretty cool. Oh, cool. Thanks. And Matt, yeah, dude, what's up? What's up? And Matt, never seen you in Portland? So anyway, yeah, what I want to talk about, I'm sure Chris, you can relate to this. I'm sure anyone that's ordered food can relate to this. Order food? So I live in an upstairs unit in an apartment building and I've had multiple delivery drivers pull this one on.

I'm already pissed off, dude. I'm pissed off, too. I already get it and I'm pissed. Keep going. Yeah, I knew you would be. So two different people pulled this on me. They said, hey, I'm here with your food. I just recently had foot surgery.

I can't walk upstairs right now. Two people said this. Two people said this. One person said it about their foot. The other person said it about their knee. I swear. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Yeah. Was my blown. What the fuck are they driving around then? Yeah. So that's what I'm saying. And I'm like, why you clock it into a delivery ship if you can't walk upstairs? Yeah, sure.

Most people live upstairs, right? Yeah, sure. Yeah, I don't know. It just blows my mind. And I'm thinking there's some scam going on from some underground delivery driver. Sedeep. So deep. But yeah.

They're trying to pull. Wow. I've seen so many team taking away to my guys. I think. What you guys think about this shit. I think that anything less than bringing it to my fucking door. Dude, put it in my mouth. is utterly unacceptable.

Put it in my fucking mouth. I can yell. I can yell. Dude, put a doorbell on my nose and fucking ring that. A clown in that circus, in the fucking circus. No, but I fully believe that if you- Knock on my head. Dude, if you bring food to my house and you fucking leave it like at the edge of the walkway,

I'm like, what are you doing jeopardizing your tip? You know I can redo your tip, you motherfucker. Yeah. Do the shitting. for me four hours later. Yeah. Just bring it to the door the end. That's your only job.

It's literally your only job. Bring me the fucking food. And when I'm done, when I'm done, four hours afterwards, come by and hold open my anus so I can shit it out. That's how you're on the tip. No, and that's how you, if you leave it on the front of the walkway, that's how you get a tip back. Right, right, right, right.

Okay. So what will happen is I'll be sitting down. I'll hover a little bit. You're in front of me. Reach around. Grab both cheeks, spread it open. Okay? You can put your head under my armpit or something.

But that's how I'm shitting if you want your tip. Thank you. I mean, the head under my armpit detail was quite something. Exactly. Almost exactly my thoughts. That's almost exactly what I was going to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, how's your foot feel now?

Dick all touching on. I even had someone say that they left it at my door and then I go outside and it's nowhere to be found. And I have to go search this thing down. down and then it's just in the parking lot. What? Oh my God. And so I'm just like, dude. I left it at your door.

It's all right. I guess is just my point. Yeah. Yeah. It's true. You guys know that. Yeah. People are fucking lazy and shit.

I mean, you kind of respect that parking lot one more than the other one. The parking lot one is kind of baller to be like, it's out your door. And then it's just in spot C-23. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Just like, yeah, on a stair.

In a tail of space. Yeah, man. Well, yeah, that's basically all I had to talk about. No, that's good. It was going to be something a little more, a little more heavy, but I figured I'd save that for another time. No, honestly, that's the heaviest thing I've ever heard. I don't, I don't like it. And if you have a, if, you know, some Uber people will come with another person, too. You ever have that? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's pretty, that's pretty cool. No, I like that because then they could go get it, they can bring it. But it's like, what were you doing, talking about my food together? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Whole lots of ways to go. how it's going to taste. Yeah. Yeah.

Don't talk about my food like that. Unpossessive. Well, shit, man. Of my talk about it. That's awesome. Appreciate you guys for that response. Appreciate you, bro. Thanks very much.

Yeah. You guys made my day. Being home sick. Kind of sucked. But then I found out, hey, I get to do this. Oh, nice. Oh, cool, dude. Hell, yeah.

Feel better. Feel better. You know, I think about how people aren't good at their jobs and I go, and then I go, it's the same loop every time. I go like this. It's so annoying people aren't good at their jobs. I try so hard at my job. And then I go, all right, but I have my dream job. And it's so hard to get work for people. And they just are doing their thing and let them let them, it's okay. That's the

loop. Always. That's always the loop. My loop is different. I also do the thing that I love. Right. And I. Jizz and guys. Yeah, jizz and guys. And, um, The way I think about work, though, is you're lucky as fuck. Right now to have a job. That is true, yeah. That is very true. So just do it well. And also, you're on the clock for only X amount of hours.

Be a piece of shit when you're off the clock. Yeah. But then, yeah, yeah, I'm sure. It's so, it's just, I mean, I know it's hard for some people. they're struggling with other shit. I get it. When people have it just like an off moment and that's one thing. Of course.

If you're just like a miserable piece of shit. Yeah. And I'm going to leave your food fucking far away and say I left it at your door. Like what? And that's your thing. That's your MO. What are you doing? Yeah.

You know? Yeah. That's bad. And you deserve to get reported. I hope Kai fucking reported that guy. Well, I mean, maybe the parking lot guy. But I mean, I don't know. I report.

Do you? I report. I've never, I don't think I, oh well, no, I have when they re, well, because sometimes they'll be like, dropped it off and it's at a different house. Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Do you report if you get the order, they get the order wrong? Not them.

The restaurant. And then I get free shit. They just give you, they give you credit, which is cool. But I reported a guy one time, he just, all he did was text me and say, oh, it was a bunch of coffees. I had friends over, I was getting a bunch of coffee. And he's like, oh, the bag broke. I can't bring it in. And I was like, okay.

And then I just like got the refund or whatever. I walk out the next time I'm out in front of my house, all of the coffee. Oh, wow. And the bag and the cups are just all over my front lawn. Oh, I would have for sure. Yeah, that's, you just left it there. Yeah. The least you could do is just...

What do you think the least he could do is? Throw it away? My trash bin's right there. But what's more than the least? Go get it again, I guess, yeah. No, just, honestly, just throw it away. Say that happened and then that's, because that's what happened. I'm trying to think...

That's not his fault. It is his fault that he fucking left the mess. And then didn't tell me... Well, they're not telling you is bonkers. Yeah. But yeah, not, not, yeah, not cleaning up as bad, yeah. It's technically... I mean, I'm just playing devil's advocate here, but it's not his job.

He's supposed to pick up. your stuff, bring it to you. Well, it's not not his job, though. It's not not his job. It's his job is to get it to him. That the entire order is scattered and dumped all over my fucking front yard. I don't agree with you, Marco. Well, don't fake laugh.

I wouldn't even have been like, yo, that's your fault. That was a real one. Because sometimes bags break. Yeah. Sure. Dude, I'm so sorry. You know what? I think this is tougher than you guys are making it out to be.

How so? What do you mean? This is more of a dilemma. What do you think he should have done? Yeah, what do you think he should have done? What he did? or tell you and be like, yeah, you got like. Yeah, tell me.

Tell me. Absolutely. Definitely. That is the least he could do. It's, it's out here now, and I don't know who's going to clean it up, but, you know, I'm, I'm just here to bring it to you. So you would agree that he did less than the least he could do. Yes. Okay.

So, okay. And you probably can't remember, but what exactly, at least around exactly, did he text you about it? All he said was the bag broke. and and I can't get it to you. And there's no more like, like the bag broke, all the drinks spilled, whatever.

Wow. Yeah. Matt, you're this guy. You were picking up all of this trash in someone's yard. I was. Matt would.

I'm asking. Oh, wait, if you're that guy. If you're that happened to you. Good question. You would pick it up. I don't think you would.

Really? I would not leave it. I would, I would at the very least be like, and take a pick and be like it's all over your yard, sorry. But even that's the same. That's crazier. That's crazier.

Here's the deal, though. You wouldn't clean it up. I think you would. Yeah, here's the deal. In this situation, because I visually understand what it was. This was the right way to frame this. The bag was just sitting there. The empty drinks were just sitting there.

Like, all you had to do was pick up four cups and the rest of the bag. Right. It wasn't spaghetti. And throw it away. Yeah. It wasn't a mat. He didn't need to get his hands all. fucking disgusting and like do messy work.

It was just fucking picking up throwing. So yes, I really truly believe I would have just thrown it away. Because I would have been like, oh, fuck, I'm going to get reported and not have my job anymore. Okay, so hold on. Okay. I think, God, what the fuck? I think I would clean it up, okay?

But what then what would I do? Oh, I would hate that if that happened to me because I would feel bad. There would be nothing else to do. I know. spilled. That sucks. The bag ripped. There would have been basically no evidence. I wouldn't have seen like spilled fucking ice tea

on the grass in my yard. I think what I would do is, yo, I'm sorry. The bag broke. It's all fucked up at your house. I tried to clean up as best I could. The order's fucked up, but you got to order it again. I'm really sorry. Get in touch with them for a refund. I think that's what I would do. Probably. Yeah. Yeah. Would you have thrown it away?

Yeah. Yeah. Right. Yeah. I think so too. I'm trying to think of a reason why I wouldn't throw it away. If it was maybe if it was like, look, if it was spaghetti and beans and all that shit, then, uh, worst meal. Um, then I would, I would obviously not get it all. You know, right, right, right. You know, that's not your job. Yeah. Or if I didn't have gloves or if I, you know, yeah, I might leave some spaghetti on his grass. I don't eat it. I would just eat it. Yeah, and come back for like later on leftovers. Oh, I still got. Oh, I still got

that spaghetti in that guy's front yard. Yeah, that's an unfortunate situation. It's one of those things that you want, you want, you would at least want remorse. You at least, when you imagine the guy because of his tone and all that, you imagine him that, he goes, he goes, fuck it. Right?

That pisses you off. If you imagine him, would he text you and that he's going like, Even if he's, even if he did this. Fuck. Shit. Mm-hmm. Ah, I don't.

Oh. Ah. And then got in his car. That's way better. Yeah. If you're, that's way better. And you didn't even do anything different really.

Yeah, right, yeah. But yeah. But since you don't see it, and all you get is the taxi is, oh, the bag broke. Sorry, I can't bring it. And then you just, I walk out like a few hours later. I'm like, what the fuck?

I will tell you this, though. I will for sure tell you this. If that happened to me, your situation, if I was in your situation, I would have went outside right afterwards. A hundred percent. Like, when he said, sorry, the bag broke, I would have went outside to see if the bag was broken in my front yard. Well, here's the thing.

I didn't even know he was there. For all I knew, it broke in the car. But how did you not know he was there? You weren't tracking it? I don't remember, honestly. I figured he was close, went to check, and then in his car, he saw that the bag broke. Because that's happened plenty of times.

Sure, sure, sure, yeah. The back can break anytime. But I would think, oh, I'm going to make sure it's not in my front yard. Yeah. For sure, we'd do that. And that's why I'm the better brother. Yeah, I guess you're better man than I, huh? No, no, not better man, but, but even more crazy, crazier.

More, you know, obviously have certain issues that I need to be obsessive about. It's all good. Yeah, but that's, wow. That's a, that turned into one that, that, that turned into one that, was really good. Was that a live call? Or was that? Yeah.

I mean, that's no memory. Wow. No fucking memory. Bro, you think I remember fucking. Let me tell you, man. This podcast, my podcast and golden hour. Yo, I, as soon as it's over, I remember nothing from the fucking podcast. I'm the exact same way when it's over.

Especially when I do my really long live shows. And it's actually strange because it's like three plus three plus hours sometimes. and I'm like, strange. I literally have no idea. I have not one memory of what I just did for three plus hours. If, if, if, if that, it seems like a problem, but it's not. You know, it's like, why do you need to remember it? But yeah, when they're like, hey, what you make the clip of?

I go, just pick something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It's weird. I guess it's, I guess when you're on, particularly when you're live, but even just when you're being tape. It's like you're not, you're in some kind of. something adjacent to like a flow state. Oops. Sorry. Oops.

Traffic control. You know, I have debated asking you guys if I'm going to. Is it gay? If I should take your phones away before we should. Should I go to the cops? Let's do a poll. How often one is the other? I checked it one time.

Hold on. Who does it? One time this episode. Who does it more? That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. But I checked it one time.

It should be zero. It should be zero. You could, dude, I, what happened was I flipped it over and it was my assistant and said, oh, what's up? Something's up. No, it doesn't matter. Dude. There's nine minutes left. No, he's right.

It doesn't matter. It can wait. If it was the emergency of all emergencies, your assistant would text me. Right. Keep going. Keep going. No, he shut it down already. No, keep it going.

Keep it going. Say mean things about our brother. Keep bulldozen. Keep bulldozen. Say, no, you know, Matt, you're not. totally innocent. Yeah, bro. No, I'm pretty innocent.

This guy will check his fucking, um, baseball stats. Get the fuck out of here. You've never done that. Maybe once. I've seen it. Maybe once. Maybe once. Matt's, more.

Matt's not innocent, but he's. You know, I know, I know. I know. I know. But I did do it one time this episode. We're going to try it next week is what we're going to do. Your Honor, I only murdered one person. I didn't.

So different. It wasn't a mass execution. Yeah. And you know what? it wasn't. Yeah. So lock me up for my life, but don't say I killed more than one person. Click.

Okay. When we have a collar up there and you're in, in the window, like, you know, our, um, graphic or whatever, and you're in your window and you're looking at your, man, I want to fucking. Okay. I want to kill them too. Fair enough. I want to kill them too. Fair enough, dude.

All right. We're grilling. This guy, you're crucifying me. We're bulldozen. You're burning me at the fucking state. Yeah, we are. Yeah. We are.

Honestly, honestly, it's high time we did that. We're the granddaughters of the witches. You didn't kill. I have no idea what that is. It's a very historic fucking thing. Okay. And describe it. I think it's pretty self-explanning.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. You know, they killed all those witches back then and they fuck it. Well, they thought there were witches but they weren't and they say- Yeah, and they go, well, we're all the granddaughters of the of the witches you didn't kill. Meaning fuck you, motherfuckers. I don't think that's the translation, but, you know, whatever it was. I don't know. I don't honestly know if it's even real. Yeah. Probably not.

It's a dope thing to say, though, if they did say that, if people stoned my grandparents, I would go, and I knew that some of it was causing me trouble, that possibly was in the same lineage as the people who stoned my grandparents, you better fucking believe, I say, and I'm the granddaughter of the, I mean, I would say, I'm the grandson. I would say my, and I'm the grandson of the witches you didn't kill. Mm-hmm. You know? Well, it would be a musket maybe because it's long ago. So great, great, great, great, granddaughters.

I mean, it ruins it when you have to save more words. It's a real blood feud at that point, yeah, yeah. All right, let's do one more. To the parking ticket guy. I had nothing to do with that. Hello, I'll try and say this as simply as possible. Okay. This one is about confrontation.

So, like, people that see the same. shit all the time like stories that happened 15, 10 year ago and you pay up them I don't know what she said? Fuck, fuck stop what'd she say? I she said she hates

people who are telling the same stories all the time. Story. Okay, stories. She's beautiful going on. And I feel like everybody else is just being polite like right, ah, right? And I'm just like this is insufferable. I'm sick with

to the same shit and I can be like oh like I know you said this last week but they keep going you know they don't take the hand how do you address oh I I'm talking these people get right involved as if it happened yesterday they're like oh and she said and he said and me you know it's just an energy that you're just kind of like oh this is so negative and I just what I physically got on leave but that's got it's got it's got a scene I also don't want to be around about those kind of people either. So what would you do? Would you just call them out immediately?

Right, shut up. Like we've heard this? Shut up. I can't not say something about that. Because it's just going to cause arguments. I don't know. Yeah. Anyway, love you guys.

Love you too. Please help. I'll help you. Go ahead. It is, well, I mean, Kristen will tell me something. four times. And I'll say, to her, I'll say, yeah, you told me that. Do you know you told me that four times?

If it's a friend, I'll be like, ah, you already said it. So I think what she's talking about, though, and like I think about this a lot, too, is if you're friends with somebody and they're around somebody knew that they haven't told a story, and they're like, I got to hear him tell his story from five years ago where it's like, this is his anecdote that he likes to tell in this situation. You're just like for fuck sake, man. And husbands and wives, imagine what it's like if one of them is a storyteller and is like this. So.

Yeah. I mean, yeah. I mean, well, I'll tell you this. Well, I guess I'm a professional. If it's, if it's what you thought it was, which is what I thought it was too, I, I'm, oh. No, that was a, that could have been anyone. That one, I swear to God, that one could have been anyone.

And no one knows what it is, because that's a side thing for us. It was a massive rumbling fart. By unknown. Like rolling thunder fart. By unknown. By unknown, dude. Wow. If it's that, I didn't think it would be loud, but yes.

It was very loud. And it shook the floor. And then I'm like, I know. I just say, I know, I know, I know this story. You've told this story. Some people, though, they will not stop they will not stop

and it's like a glitch in their mind so they're out and well it's an energy thing too the thing you're describing though is like you just take a walk well here's the here's the actual problem actually I just realized this

this is the actual problem okay and this is what Eric Griffin would say I know 100% this is what he would say okay your friend needs to be better at telling

stories. Because, because, because, uh, I mean, I often people like, tell the story where the thing. And I got to, I'm like, I'm fucking, I tell this thing 20 times. But I'm a professional. Okay. So fine. I'm good at telling stories. Of course, whatever. At least I should be. So, so yeah, it's not the story that is, I mean, obviously there are good stories and bad stories, but you need to tell your friend, hey, get better at telling that story. Because it could get to the point where, oh, you know, oh, I love that story. I mean, that's what stand-up comedians do. Oh, we got to go see that guy do his bit.

You know, if you're just somebody that's telling shit stories. Which is most people. Most people, yeah. I mean, you know, no fault of theirs. It's not what they do. But if they do tell the same story over and over again in a group of five guys, then. I mean, I'm not a professional storyteller, but people... No, you're a good storyteller.

Tell your Mel Gibson's story, and I'm like, fuck, yeah, dive right in. You're a good, you're a, you're a very good storyteller. Thank you. I do think most people, like, I've seen people, I've seen it, so I can't imagine how much you've seen it. People are like, I think I can do stand-up comedy. I was thinking about that. My jaw fucking hits the floor, because I'm just like, you are the most stone-cold, boring-ass motherfucker.

And least funny motherfucker I've ever even encountered youth. think you could just get up in front of a crowd and make people laugh for what 15 minutes you're out of your fucking mind i'm an astronaut yeah you think you you think you'd be a good sound of comedian i think i'd be a good astronaut oh you think you'd be a good senator oh cool a mime could you imagine if you did that they'd be like what are you doing i'm an astronaut yeah yeah yeah what's the thing you can't hear something in space what's the fucking the alien that's yeah yeah i want to use it can't hear you scream in i wanted to use it for the joke but i couldn't remember it. Okay, well, I'm autistic.

No, but my mind's a roller decks. I, so, but yeah, that, yeah, I've never been so sure what Eric Griffin would say. Your friend needs to be better at telling stories. But, yeah, I,

he's right, but he's not going to, the friend's not going to get better at it. No, well, I know. It's just not going to happen. I know. Well, you should be, the more you tell the fucking same story. That's the thing.

You know, I think people think that the story is the thing that is going to be interesting. God, it's so true. It's not. It's not. And it's, I mean, it could be, but it's very rarely that. Yeah. I mean, it has to be an incredible story. But if you're not good at telling stories, the story's going to be not good, right?

Right. Right. Right. You know? Like that Mel Gives his story is pretty good. But you also are a good storyteller. Yeah. Yeah.

But the wrong person would fuck it up. Yeah, oh, absolutely. Oh, 100%. Yeah, of course, of course. But yeah, I was thinking about that in the way here about the stand-up thing. And I was actually thinking, like, I'm so grateful that I tried to do stand-up. Like, because I would have always fucking wondered, no, I have to be a comedian. So you'd also be living on the street.

Yeah, no, I, and I had a, um, uh, I was driving here. And I was like, what if somebody asked me, what would I? Because sometimes people would be like, if you weren't doing this, what would you be doing? And I would, I would, I would say, oh, just nothing. I would just get some fucking bullshit job and just wait to die. Well, I mean, well, no, no, after I had kids, I'd obviously for my kids. But like, yeah, I would just fucking have a different job. Banana Republic salesman, you know, Chipotle rep.

You'd get fired at both of those in two days. Right, I would, but that's because I'd be cutting a rug up, you know what I mean? No, not dancing. Cutting jokes. I don't know what the fucking thing is. Yeah. But cutting the cheese, if you know what I mean. Well, there's a dog scraping me.

There's a dog scraping me with her nails. Scraping. Oh, scraping. Hi. So autistic. So autistic. Want to come up here? You going to get growled out?

Lift Tina. Oh, no. She didn't grow. Anyway, I'll be in Nashville. I'll be in Las Vegas. We at Salt Lake City, come see me, Chris Lee.com, Denver, and a bunch of different areas, Pittsburgh, Brea, and Miami in Washington, D.C. Thank you very much. Patreon.com slash lifeline luxury, and of course, Patreon.com slash Matt DeLea. Wee.

On a swing. Hi, Tina.