Lifeline - 218. Monsignor Chillville

Episode Date: June 28, 2026

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Hey man. What's up? How's it going? Good. Well, I didn't know what the question was. Caught a robot. No, pretty good. I'll tell you, I had a pool day yesterday and kind of just now and just kind of basking in the after sun, you know what I mean?

Yeah, I've been having a lot of pool days lately. You? What do you think of that? You? Yeah, me. That's good. I think that's really good. I think that's good to have pool days, you know what I mean?

Do you swim or do you just kind of, what do you mean? Well, what do you mean? I don't, like, do laps, no. But I'm with my boys, you know. I know, but you don't like that. No, I mean, I'm trying to kind of teach Calvin how to swim still, but it's really, really, really hard. Swimming ain't easy, man. Yeah.

As the expression goes. Yeah. Swimming and pimping both ain't easy. Yeah. So I was in, so we did that. And then I was in the pool yesterday and then I, you know, I like got goggles. I don't use goggles, but I got goggles for Calvin, and I put them on, and I forgot how cool that is to use goggles.

Goggles are sick. It's crazy how clear you could see. And then I was, so I was under there, and then I got out of the water, and I was like, I got to take a shower because I'm going to get chlorine all in my hair and my stuff. And I just took a shower, but I didn't wash my hair. And I woke up today, and my hair looked crazy. And now it kind of is resting nicely. And I'm just like, maybe that's like kind of the answer.

You know what I mean? Yeah, I don't wash my hair immediately after pool time. Far. I just don't. I wash my hair when I wash my hair, which is like twice a week. Yeah. Yeah, that's good. It has nothing to do with when I go in a pool or not in the pool.

Okay. I do it when I do it when I want to do it. I do it when my brain says, hey, Matt, wash your hair. And I never, ever break that rule. That's pretty cool. Nice to meet you. No. Have you guys heard how young parents like try and get their kids to float?

Teach them how to float. It's nuts. Tell me. Right away. Yeah, it's almost right away. I've heard the thing where they throw them in right away. It's terrifying the way it looks. And it makes me think of like a weird, like cult behavior.

Oh. Like a, like some kind of weird baptism by fire. They say it helps, though. It's terrifying to me. I can't even watch it. But why would you traumatize your kid? Yeah, if that traumatizes them, which it looks like it might. I don't know.

I was at a pool party where there were kids and there was an older girl whose cousin was, older girl like she was four, not older. Yeah. But she could swim. Or with, like, with Swimmies on and could get it, jump in and out, unsupervised. Her cousin is not even two. And she just, I was talking to her dad, the dad of the cousin. And out of the corner of our ears, we hear, here, I'll teach you out of swim.

Let me just throw you in. Who? The older girl. Okay. And she throws the one and a half year old In the water without swimmy zone. Okay. And the dad, just because we, you know, he's keeping, you know, whatever.

He literally had to jump in the pool and get her out of the bottom of the fucking pool. Really? Yeah, dude. This girl literally almost ruined her own life, the four-year-old. By trying to just have fun with her cousin. Okay. Well, that is the worst way to see. start a podcast. Oh my God. Life saved. No, I know. I'm not, I'm not saying like you did bad.

I'm just saying, oh my God. I just watch. I got, well, that's not. I got I got I got popcorn. No. She was in there long enough for you to make popcorn? Yeah, dude, yeah. Big lungs for a one and a half year old. Uh, wow, that is, that doesn't make me feel good at all. I mean, I don't even know how to say it besides that. To even watch that is just. It was pretty hectic and scary, but, you know, he handled it. I mean, I saw, yeah, I don't like that. Okay. Yeah, he handled it. Good. All right, moving on. But anyway, happy birthday to Mel Brooks, who's 99, Kathy Bates and John Cusack. Hey, one of those is a friend of the family. What's up, Kathy Bates? I know you watch the show. We love you. Oh, yeah, we love Kathy Bates. So hold on.

Do you have you, Toy Story 5 came out. And that's Joan Cusack is the voice in that, right? Who's the voice of the, yeah. Okay. She, I don't know how old she is. She sounds, I saw Toy Story 5 with the kids. I know. It's, she sounds. She's got to be early 60s now. She sounds ancient.

I don't know what she looks at. 63, yeah. But she sounds ancient in the movie. And it's like she's this cute little doll that's supposed to be a girl. And it's like, that's an old lady. She's always had a weird voice, though. What do you mean she's? Yes.

But now she sounds like, I would almost say garbally. What do you call it? Garbled. gargled like she just garbled garbled yeah oh wow look at her there geez um I mean I've always loved her no she's just yeah she's great but

wow look at her now geez I know that's what I'm saying so uh no but so she she sounds it's very for me I was like she should sound like a girl my question is though has she played the same

yeah that that's why no that's why I know but yeah I would for sure have been like you got to change it. If I was the producer of that, yeah, if I was the producer, I'd have been like, we gotta get a younger person in. Your eyes cold?

Well, it's just like, who is this movie for? I feel like it's for people who were, honestly, I feel like Toy Story now, obviously it's for kids. Yeah. But it's for the adults

that take their kids that like to remember all the other toys. Yeah. So what I think is probably maybe what they're thinking was why, if they had the thought at all,

why change it? Because people know her. know her and know her as that character and then we'll get more complaints why'd you change it? That's ageism than it would have been otherwise. But I will say though even Tom Hanks sounded old.

Tom Hanks is looking old. He's looking fly but he's looking old. But what Tim Allen seemed fine still as to be a buzz light. How old is he? 69. Yeah, wow. Hanks is looking 69 too. Well, you know, it happens everywhere.

I mean, if there's any evidence anybody ever needed that he does not drink adrenachrome, uh, just look at Tom Hanks now. Yeah. Man, those tinted sunglasses that, that Tim Allen wears is just, that's just wild that people wear those. Can you show me? I didn't see them. There's just inside tinted hotcloth. Why the hell would somebody wear it?

Why is that? I think the way they go is they tint as you enter and exit sunlight. No, not, not, not, no. Tim Allen wears them. Transition lenses. But they're not. Oh, they're not? No, mine are.

I have transitional lesson, Lenin. See, I like those. No, transition lens is so drunk. Transition lenins. Transition lensions are, are you fucking kidding me? You did it. Transition lenses are great. But, but, and maybe he does have those.

But he wears night, like, you know, at night he wear on stage who wear like dark glasses. It's really weird. On stage? Yeah. He's done it for sure. That's weird. It is weird, yeah. How do you feel about Tim Allen? I love Tim Allen.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Yeah. Did you like home improvement? Did you like when he got arrested for being a crack dealer? Didn't know about that back then. But do you like that now? Do you like that he climbed out of that hole? Yeah, that's cool.

Yeah. I think that's not good to be a crack dealer, but yeah. I think it's very cool that he did that. Yeah. Him and Jay Z dude. He was a fucking handsome young guy. Why is he dealing crack? Uh, that is not a handsome man.

He looks like fucking B level Tom Selleck. Anything above a C level, Tom Selleck, you're hot. I'm sorry, Tom Selleck is so attractive to women. This dude, that is not an attractive man. Tom Selleck is the apex predator of attractive men. I mean, he's crazy handsome. Look at that, dude. That's insane.

To say, to put fucking Tim Allen in that category. I mean, he's not... He's not like, you know, a Filipino 22-year-old. It might as well be. He's close enough in that picture. No, no, that's absolutely nuts. I want to hear what everyone says about Lifeline. Tom Selle's 6-4.

Tim Allen, five, what? Whatever, whatever. I'm just talking about his face in the mugshot. He looked handsome and he had a Tim. I had a Tom Selleck. I don't want to have any Tim Allen slender. I love Tim Allen, but that's crazy to even compare him to... He looks.

better now. I didn't realize you were going to be so sensitive about this. No, he looks better now. Look at him. Now, he's a good-looking older man. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Do you think he got cast in the Santa Claus because he was doing, oh, oh, oh, oh, on home. Oh, I don't know. Never thought about that. What do you think. That is a theory. What do you think now? I don't think so. I think it would have to have, he was a subliminal. Oh, you think so. Yeah, that boy, that's not an obvious choice for them. There's a dude that just, no, no, no, back then he was. And yeah, but he was a big star. He was a star. But the the I said he looks better now. He obviously doesn't.

Well, no, in that picture. But look at the up there on the upper right and where he's just kind of like full body. It looks like even. Oh, no, not there. Not there. Not there. Not there. Not there.

Not there. Not there. There. Is Anthony back at that? Yeah. No, there he looks great. Because he's far away. He looks like Bruce Springsteen there.

All right. Well. But anyway, there's a dude that just was a cash machine, bro. Oh, my God. Santa Claus. Toy Story. Home improvement. I mean, just fucking, and there was another one, too.

He had the Wild Hogs series, right? Was that what that's called? I mean, if you want to count that. Yeah, but there were sequels and there were sequels of the, also the other one, too, the cranks, right? Christmas with the cranks? I think. Christmas with the crank dealer? Anyway, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, great.

Guys pulled himself right on out of that crack dealer. I mean, yeah, you know, it's like, all right, well, yeah, that's good for, good for him. Man, that's awesome. Yeah. That's just awesome. He's got, I don't, I maybe have met him once,

but I wonder what he's like, actually. I don't know at all. He doesn't laugh at. I don't know if he still does, but Jamie Massada. I bet he's Monseigneur Chillville. What do you think?

Yeah, I hope so. Like sits down, puts his hands behind his, like Ferris, like he's chilling in his seat. And he's like, hey, good set.

Like that. That's my sense of Tim Allen. Even though he didn't see it. Good set. Yeah. It is weird to have tinted glasses inside, though. I mean, even Jack Nip.

I'm not I don't well that's flawed sunglasses but like that's just I don't that's so that is so stupid what do you think about people that do like sometimes I'll enter and still have my sunglasses on and I'll realize I don't take them no that's fine what do you think about podcasters that do their entire like Tim Dylan does his never doesn't take him off oh really ever really I've never seen him take on oh I think sometimes he does but I don't know but well it's different if it's a comedy podcast I think You don't think he has a comedy pocket? Yeah.

Oh, you're saying he has a comedy podcast. So you're saying it's more acceptable. Yeah, Tim Dillon doing it is acceptable. Jay Shetty did it. Oh my God. Yeah, that would be like ridiculous. But anyway, it was a pool day yesterday. Hair's looking tight.

Nice, dude. Week three and two of peptides, two different peptides. Era, A-I-R-A. Is a company I get my peptides from. But are you like, do you have like, equity in them or something or they're just gifting you stuff and you're you're yeah they did they wanted to dry peptides and they were like yeah well well actually they reached out

independently i don't i don't think they yeah because i wasn't really outspoken about it but they were like we i have somebody that linked us and then they were like do you you know you'd be good to do it and i was like yeah i'll do it if they send it to me and you know sponsor me so they're doing it and i'm putting in um i'm putting in i'm injecting nice dude uh speaking of uh mentioning things throwing things out there. I use nicotine pouches now because I are mine. Quit smoking. The worst mine. So any nicotine

pouch companies out there, I know there's thousands of them, come and sponsor me. All right. Well, you know, we can do... Are you proud of me? I am. Yeah, I'm really, I think that's great, dude. I think it's terrible. Shout out to Legends for sponsoring the show Legends is a free to play social casino and sportsbook. Check it out at Legends.com. I'll be in D.C., Miami, Louisville,

Braya and Tulsa, Spokane, and Portugal. And then I have a bunch of, I have Tempe and Phoenix, Alpharetta, Georgia, which is... A bunch of shows in Alpharetta, Georgia. Bali. Alpharetta, Georgia. Pari. Yeah. So anyway, go to Chrissley.com.

It's been... A bunch of European stuff. I know, dude. For you, man. Mr. Worldwide? Man, a little bit Mr. Worldwide, yeah. So modest. I mean, yeah, I'm a little bit Mr. Worldwide.

Yeah, so that's what's up. Subscribe to our YouTube. Let's do it. Did we shout out to Legends enough? We did. Okay, let's do it again. Check it out at Legends.com. Legends with a Z.

Free to play social casino and sports book. Shout out to them. Did it already, but yes. I know, but I wanted to double up. We doubling it. We doubling it. We double in it. Ireland.

Subscribe to this YouTube channel. Super good. And of course, subscribe. Become a member of my Patreon. You're looking for community. You're looking for tight-knit community. You're looking for a place to reside virtually and sometimes face-to-face vis-vis Zoom. Get on in there.

The community is sick, and I love it, and I love every member. Get on in Patreon.com slash Matt Diddley. Oh, you're leaving. See you later, man. A ballet, doing ballet. that's what that's what that's what your leg is that you fall i see your what is that you falling or is it don't draper that's that's that's that's just somebody falling okay see the line or is that don draper dude i mean such a madman fan i mean you know yeah hey i'm like i gotta get my don draper tattoo trying

to shoehorn in don draper i mean if anybody would never get a madman tattoo it's this guy right obviously if i're going to do it i'll get the secretary but anyway let's go It was a joke because he falls in the fucking opening. Yeah, I know. How about this is a good question. If you were going to get a tattoo of a TV character in a specific moment on the show, what would that be? Homer Simpson going to the bushes in between my ass crack. Come on.

Uh. I know what mine would be. What? Tony Soprano when he's doing peyote and he's crying and he's going like this. That would be mine. Or when he's like this crying. Mine would be Homer Simpson going into the bushes into my ass crack. That's...

horrible. That was, that's what I thought when you said that. I mean, that doesn't mean that's the answer. So that's what I have to do.

No, I don't know, probably keep yourself than 24. Nice, dude. I had a theory about 24 and I thought about this for a long time.

Okay. There should have been one episode. How many seasons did that show run? 11 seasons? Maybe not. So many. Seven, maybe?

No, more. More. More. Michael, Michael Cohen. Um, there should have been one episode.

in one of the later seasons when it was already a huge hit. Okay. Where the whole hour, Jack had to take the most giant shit. Oh, fuck, man, I wish. And he was hunting for a toilet, but he also had to do all this other shit.

So he'd be like, oh, I found a toilet, but then he's like, oh, I got to defuse that bomb. I got to save that girl. Oh, I got a da-da-da-da. But he just really needed to take a shit. Yeah, so he would be like this. He would be like this and like behind the air. Yeah.

And then he killed the guy. And he go, yes. And then he would go, and then we go, and it would go, boop, boop. Right, right, right. And go to the commercial. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it cuts back and he's like, ah, running through. And then the final 12 to 15 minutes is him like shitting.

Yeah, yeah. And then it ends with him finishing shitting. Dude, if that, obviously, that would have pissed off so many viewers at the time. That being said, if that happened and now we could look back, we would all remember 24 as like. one of the most epic television programs of all time. Isn't that interesting? I know. We'd be like,

you remember the episode? We just had to take a shit. Yeah. But they really would have to go for it with the shitting. They'd have to like... Yeah, it wouldn't be a subplot. It would be... I let a little out.

Like, you know, he did... I let a little out. Right, right, right. A little bit out came out. Yeah. There's a president. And the terrorists are like, what? Yeah, that would be so fucking funny, God.

Why don't they do that? I don't do that. I don't know, dude. Everything takes itself too fucking seriously. Even that show, you know what I mean? Nobody sees into the future enough to know what will end up. A pan-shitting episode? I mean, you have 24 episodes a season.

Yeah, back then, wow. Seven seasons, just do one where he's got to take a big fat grump, and, like, everyone will love the show in perpetuity forever. In 30 years, people would be like the most legendary episode of television is 24, season 5, episode 12. Yeah, because that show is forgotten about, honestly. It's totally forgotten about, yeah. And it was a massive, enormous hit.

Massive show. I mean, brought them back to Superstar. True. Yeah. Well, that was phone booth when he played the guy in the moment. But anyway, all right. Yeah, let's do it. Hey, guys, I want to talk to you about Legends.

Legends with a Z. Is it free to play social casino and sports book? Tons of games to play, things to spin, table games with live dealers. It's very cool. Yes, I know. I love the live dealers. You do.

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Legends.com, listen, go on, check it out, Peruse. It's fun. Take advantage of the 100% match on your first purchase up to $100. And make sure to use Code Lifeline when signing up. That's for our listeners and watchers. Keep it legendary. Fellas, what's up? I'm a big fan of this show.

My wife and I watch the show every week, and we think this is the most important show on the internet for people to learn how to not be stupid. Great, share it, please. Thank you. And we think you guys are cool, and that's what I'm seeking advice about. Great.

This month, I made a large purchase on a watch. My first large purchase ever was about a month of my income, and I'm very proud of it. Oh, cool. Good for you, man. I think it's awesome, and I'm very proud that I could do it, and it not make a d. Yeah, sure.

The issue is every time I wear it, after a few minutes, I think about what I probably look like when I wear it. And I think, look at this asshole. What does he think he's special with this watch? Like, I can't, what is that? I can't accessorize at all. Like, even now, I was driving home, and it's sunny out.

I put sunglasses on. And after a minute, I caught myself in the rearview mirror. And it was like, ugh, look at this cock. We're wearing sunglasses. So cool. And I immediately took them off and squinted all the way home. What is that? Why can't I accessory it? What is it? What's wrong with me? Please help. Thanks. You were, and you were younger, you were molested by Chris Angel. By mystery. I think that it's not about accessorizing. I think it's about your own issue with self-image and how people perceive the way they look at you and you thinking. You're worrying that those people think you think you're looking cool.

I highly doubt it has anything to do with you and how you feel about yourself. So keep this in mind. All of the people that see you wearing the watch, all of the people that see you wearing the sunglasses will never see you again. You will never see them again. I mean, besides your wife and whoever the fuck else, but they trust you and know you. Hopefully you see your wife again. the letter on me you know what i mean she she i say because i easily leave yeah i got you i won't even if i do meet her but i would never but go ahead she she seems like a lovable guy

i don't think she she she don't i know i know but i'm just saying yeah i i i over time maybe but yeah not right away i could i could really be really like uh i could lay groundwork and i could play the long game Okay. And about the thing about the guy was talking about. Yeah. Yeah, dude, I don't know if I can relate, but I understand the core of what you're saying. I do. You feel like perhaps, and I'm reading into this, forgive me if I'm wrong, you feel like perhaps that, I don't want to psychoanalyze you, but perhaps that you don't deserve, the watch is. It feels like maybe you feel like you don't deserve it. The sunglasses thing is different because sunglasses are not just an accessory. They are utilitarian. When it's too sunny and you can't see properly, you use sunglasses.

As you said on the way home, you squinted instead. That's like, I don't want to say mental illness, but it's something in your brain that is like imposter syndrome, you know, it could be that. But I mean, it could be along those lines for sure. those lines. But, dude, I'm sorry, but fuck that. You bought a nice watch. You like the watch, wear the watch. You, you, you, it's sunny out. You put sunglasses on. Everyone outside when it's sunny out is wearing sunglasses. Nobody, trust me, nobody looks at you and thinks, who the fuck this guy thinks? Not that guy. Yeah, he's sunglasses. It doesn't matter who it is. Well, it doesn't matter who is. If somebody's wearing sunglasses and sunny outside, no one on earth thinks

what the fuck? Who the fuck that guy thinks he is? I mean, I, I think, I think, that, yeah, if you're wearing it because it's, you're utilizing it because you need it, or you like it, then that's where it ends. You're not, it's not like you're fucking wearing a sailor hat everywhere and you're like, you know, not on a boat. People like, that'd be sick though. I mean, yeah, I could argue that. Be cool too. But like, you know, I just think that you got to, here's what you got to do. Get beads, get, you know, puka shells, get, get, you know, pukashels, get a mouth guard, you know, two hats, and just condoms on the, you know, leave your dick out of the jeans, put the condom on.

I'm going to go rest. Just accessorize it up is what I'm saying. And walk out and give it one week of that. And then by the time you're done with that, a watch and sunglasses, ain't going to feel like shit, okay? So that's my advice to you. And don't leave your wife around me. Exposure therapy brought to you by Krista Leone.

I wouldn't do it, but. Yeah. And exposure therapy. exactly is what that was called but yeah yeah that's that's perfect dread locks i mean start talking like this you're asking them do so much work and then the sunglasses will seem like zilch the sunglasses are zilch you got to get over that one the watch thing it's like you you you feel weird because you made the big splurge and you're like think you're like showing off yeah you're not you're wearing a watch people wear watches i let me

My watch talk to me, my gun talk to me, blah what up, homie? I would go so far as to say, no one looks at you with that watch and thinks, what a fucking asshole. No, I mean. They either think nothing. I see watches and I, I see dead people. Yeah. I see dead watches.

I see watches and I think nothing because I don't like watches. I don't pay attention to them. And I never think, oh, what an asshole for wearing a watch, an expensive watch. I don't even know what an expensive watch really looks like unless I can see Rolex on it. Ugh, nice watch. Remember that? Jayzee. but I don't

but nice watch but um even the watch thing no one is looking at you thinking fuck this guy he's wearing a watch who the hell does he think he is I'm just imagine it the other way imagine somebody's looking at you

thinking fuck this guy wearing this watch yeah that person's got to so what that I would go so far as to say that person has the problem well no definitely but so what dude so what you can't see him because you got your fucking

hater glasses on hater blockers dude you got your sunglasses on and the watch dude block them out remember that fucking song by papoos dude got the haters header blockers on

a hairstylist nah that shit was awesome dude got the tin fit a hat on my so yeah but dude good job dude good job wearing that watch and getting the fucking glasses wear the watch wear the sunglasses

exposure therapy just let people look at you don't take your dick out you'll get arrested um backpack with a bunch of fucking fur on it just get it get it going dude that's my two different takes two different lanes of advice take either one but either way fuck everybody wear your sunglasses where your watch you earned it and life coach good for you yo so sense of humor and being a funny person i've been thinking about these two things recently I consider myself somebody with a great sense of humor, but I'm not very funny.

My strife in that is I love, love making people laugh. I'm just not very good at it. My most useful insight as of recent is to depend on my sense of humor to recognize when somebody else is trying to be funny and share in that moment with them, rather than putting the pressure on myself to be funny. that way I still get to connect with them which is what I love about making people laugh so I would just love to hear your guys's thoughts on it what each of those things mean to you if being funny is a skill that you can work on

or if it's more of like a natural talent that you either have or you don't I've heard plenty on either side of that argument also how bitch is it to hold anything in between your knees oh I mean yeah I mean 10 out of 10, yeah. Often I have to catch my dick so it doesn't do the pavement, but yeah.

You know? Conn McGregor and Mark Marin had a baby, and that's him, and that's interesting. I didn't know that they were dating or had a tryst or anything like that. I didn't know that either. It's breaking news. We're a news show. Yeah. That is very interesting.

I think, I mean, I would say there's almost nothing more annoying as somebody who is constantly trying to be funny and they're not. But that's also... The only thing more annoying is an add-on to that is when they're trying to be funny and in doing so, they're just being mean. When they think they have the hard... But the hard edge sense of humor

and they're just being dick-heds. When someone thinks they're funny and they're not, it's like, oh, what are you going to do? It sucks. Yeah, you do. If they're your friend. Yeah, but that is exhausting, though, bro. I know people like that and you're just like,

oh, God, dude, just shut the fuck up. Is it exhausting? Now, people probably think that about me, but, you know, it's like, I guess it's a percentage. Like, obviously, if you can make a lot of people laugh, then keep doing it. If you're not, then stop. And so this guy is, this guy is bringing up an interesting point because he seems pretty self- Great submission. Yeah. No, he seems pretty self-aware, pretty chill. And, you know, I do think it is something you can work on for sure. Uh, I think, natural talent. You think so?

What? What you're saying? You really think you can work on getting funnier? Well, well, well, I don't know if you could work on getting funnier, but you can work on connecting things and like, you know, I don't know. There's certain things that I say that I have in my head that when things happen, I say it. And that's because I've worked on it.

You're a funny person pretty naturally funny. You've been funny since you were seven. Yeah. But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but also you work on it. I mean, I don't know. I obsess about it. So that's different. But like, um, I think you said do you think being funny is a skill, uh, that you either have or don't have? I think the answer is likely yes, more than what you're saying, but I, but I, but I, but I don't disagree with that. But, but I think even more than that. And more importantly than that. is having a sense of humor, I wouldn't call it a skill. I'd call it something you're either imbued with or not. And if you have a sense of humor that is way more valuable than being funny.

Now, you're running into a thing where you love making people laugh, so it's difficult for you. But the core basis of all of this is having a good sense of humor, because that's, to me, way more important than someone being funny. In fact, even the funniest people I know, even when they're being funny, not naming any names, but Chris Delia, are extremely annoying when they're being funny. So that is to me less, I don't want to say less valuable. But to me, it's more important to have a good sense of humor because then you can get on with everybody and people will recognize that you laugh at the right shit and you're... yeah someone who can

yeah you're you're you're you're you're you're that's the difference between somebody people want to be around to somebody who doesn't yeah you're essentially yeah yeah you seem chill i would chill with you and like um you you know recognize because everyone thinks they can be fun like a lot of people are just like oh dude man there's something that comes to mind right now he's a comedian and he's just dog shit and he's fucking dog shit in person he's dog shit interpersonally he's dog shit on video and you're just like what are you fucking doing? I want to say a name so bad, but I won't.

No, and it's just like, what's going on? Who the fuck ever told you? Is he big? No. Oh, then never mind. Who the fuck ever told you? There's a lot of that. I mean, people.

I know, but, yeah, I don't, but, but it's different between when somebody's like, in the scene and you're like, what the fuck? Anyway, yeah, there's plenty of comedies I don't think are funny But like They figured it out They have a fan base So who am I to say?

Sure, yeah But I'm not talking about that No, I know I understand As far as you loving To make people laugh And feeling like You are struggling

To be able to do that That's fucking life, my friend But be Very, very happy that you have a great sense of humor because that you, I feel like you're kind of like tossing that aside as like the less important thing.

That is the more important thing. You being able to make people laugh in a crowd or within a group of friends is less important. And something tells me that because you have a good sense of humor, that when you select wisely, my friend, you will say something that will make people laugh. Yeah. Just don't be like,

Where can I make someone laugh? Working and make someone laugh. Working and make someone like anything else. You get in your own head. You get your own head. You get your fucked. I get like that where I'm like, okay, it's not working. I got a fucking chill.

Yeah. And I just shit my pants and run away. Such a bad reaction. Oh no. And I go, and I fucking shit. And I run away and I get into my car and I cry for fucking minutes. Like fucking sobbing. Like the kind where like you're not a capri on basketball dollars where the boogers are coming out.

Mm-hmm. Anyway. How'd it feel about Leo? What do you mean? Actor. He's great. Okay, good. You know why?

You used to say. No, he, he, I think that he is, I think he's great. I just, I, I think maybe he's not at the level that everybody says. Can I say something crazy? Okay. I think Leonardo DiCaprio is wildly underrated as an actor. Wow. underrated. And I think it's because of whatever he's become

post-Titanic. He was a teeny bopper. Yeah. He was just a beautiful boy. And then he turned into a man who's just like a fat dad looking guy now, which is great. Yeah, I do think he's great. But people, I think, still think of him as like this celebrity more than actor, even though he's nominated all the time. I'm not saying he doesn't get a dude. Yeah, yeah, I know. People respect the shit out of him as an actor. But I think when I watch him act, I'm like, Oh, really? This is like, this is upper tier.

This is not just movie star stuff. I will say this. I think he's, I think he's only gotten better. Like, I think that flowers, what's that movie of the Killer Moon? That's like one of my favorite type of performances.

I love performances like that. Where it's like you're playing a fucking boring guy. I think he was so, I think that's the best. I've seen him. Really? Yeah. Yeah.

Like I love, like Tom Hanks in that movie Sully, I go, this guy's amazing. It's a boy. Hank's king. No, I know, but I'm saying, people would say, what's Hank's best? You'd be Philadelphia, you'd be like, whatever, you'd say a bunch of different things.

You say a fucking toy story before you say Sully. But he's just, you know what I mean? That kind of performance is awesome, dude. I think Leo, when he did that, I go, all right, dude, he's one of the best. I said Leo is king. I said, Hanks is king, just for the record. Denzel is the king. I just need, I know we know that.

I know I think that. And this is, for my own sake, I need to throw that out there. But yeah, I think, I think Leo is just, I don't know, man. I just think he's so fucking good. And also to say he's gotten better, it's crazy because, I mean, everything from fucking basketball diaries. No, he was great basketball. The dude was Titanic. What I think is, I think there was an era.

Which era? What, pointed out. Catch me if you can to Shutter Island. Like blood diamond to, to, to, to. Yeah, maybe not. not Blood Diamond because he was great in that, but like... You think so? I do, yeah.

I think that's his weakest performance. Oh, really? Yeah. I just, there was an era from like Catch Creechikin to Shutter Island where it was like, he just looked like he was dressing in his dad's clothes to me. You hate that. It just like, him and Josh Hartnett, to me, had the dad, we dress in our dad's clothes era. Well, Josh Hartnett and he's past that now.

He's past that now. Yeah. But, uh, I also love Josh Hardinette for a record. I just think, um, I just think, um, I just think, you know, he's just think. that Leo, yeah, he was, and honestly, I'm going to, I'm going to tell you somebody that I think is like this also, not, not dressing like their dad, but somebody that I feel like is, he was in so many iconic great movies and, and he's great, but I just don't ever think of him as like my, the best ever all the time is Jack Nicholson. And I, and nobody agrees with me on that.

I think he's great. Some do. I think people, the knock on Jack is that Jack just does Jack. and he's not really an actor as much as he is a persona. But that persona to me is like... No, it's very watchable and he's great. I'll watch the motherfucker. But to me it's like... It's like, you know, De Niro does

kind of what De Niro does a lot of the time, but he's also done shit that's just so different. He's so good. Like, you can't compare the two. The range on De Niro is crazy. One little quick thing about killers of the flower moon. Do you know that it was originally he was going to play the Jesse Plemons role

who's the detective. I don't even remember that role. Exactly, it's very small. And the script was written that way. He's the good guy who comes in, discovers what's going on. Classic. That makes sense, yeah. The draft came in and he was like,

I think it should be about this guy. Oh, wow. And they rewrote the whole fucking thing. Wow. Didn't Scorsese do that? Scorsese made it, yeah. And Scorsese was like, that's great. I love it.

And they did it that way and got $800 million to make it, That's crazy. He just gets out $800, $300. But that's still way too much money to make that movie or any movie or any movie. And now he's making a $200 million movie with Jennifer Lawrence and Leo. Yeah. Anyway, little known movie trivia fact. We take detour sometimes.

Yeah. Like nobody, like to me, like there's the top level and that's Christian Bale. Denzel. No. What did you just say? I think Denzel is a movie star. I think he is. Yeah, but I'm talking about, uh, what's his name?

My left foot. Dan de Lewis, but dude, Denzel's like a, he literally can recite any word from any soliloquia monologue from Shakespeare. He's not just, no, I understand he's a good, no, he's a good actor, yeah, but, but, but, but, dude, no, no, he's a great actor, but, but, dude, you cannot compare him to Daniel Day, and I fucking wish I could. I love Denzel Washington, okay? but Daniel DeLuis, Christian Bale, those two, I just go, I mean, they're unbelievable. There are others. To me, I put Denzel and Daniel Day in the same. That's cool. That's fucking crazy.

You're saying that because of the choices they make. No, I'm not. No, I'm not. Because there are moments where Denzel did stuff when he was younger and you're like, what, this is awful. Daniel DeLuess has always been not just good, another guy. It's unbelievable. That guy's unbelievable.

So to you acting is more, can you be this other guy? Can you slip into this other human more than it is? Not necessarily. Are you emboating, entertaining, making great choices? I don't know. Because Bail's like that too. Yeah, no, I know. I mean, you can be both, though.

You can do both. And I think Dan D.N. I think Daniel D. Lewis and also, Christian Bail do both. I think they do both. You're racist and your fan. No, yeah, we can disagree, but it's all good. I mean, you love Denzel. No, I do.

I love Denzel. He's probably, he could be my favorite movie star. Yeah, definitely mine, but also I think he's the greatest actor of our time. Anyway, let's keep going. Okay. What's up, guys? My name's Salem. Chris, I've been a fan of years for such a long time.

Matt, you only make him better. You guys are the shit. My question today is about making friends as an adult. So I'm 25. I had a small group of friends in college. Most of them moved away after college. I'm still in the hometown. I really like my job.

I don't really have plans to go anywhere, but I just don't have that many close friends to hang out with anymore. And I feel like I'm missing out on a lot of activities and doing things in my youth. I like to go to the gym and eat right. So that's pretty much what I do after work. And I don't get up to much on the weekends, but I would love to find some people to hang out with. I'm just not really sure where to go.

Don't want to, you know, show up to a bar or somewhere else by myself. I'm just looking for ways to find some weird, cool guys. Maybe I'll try Craigslist or something But if you guys have any other ideas Also, how's the bitch is it when you get a plate of food At a cookout or something And you're not at a table and you have to bring your legs together Real close to eat, pretty sub-bitch

But let me know what you guys think And thank you It's bad The barbecue thing's bad That's terrible Fuck barbecues I love barbecues I got captioned his own submission

That is great Another great submission The guy is a healthy dude That guy looks like a healthy guy You can tell he works out It's right And I think that, you know, you're 25, it'll happen, dude. I don't think, unless you're a shut in.

You can say that, but I think now, I do think now we come from a different generation. And when you're 25 now, I mean, just from my experience and a lot of the people in my Patreon talk about this all the time, it's hard to not just meet, it's hard to meet people, but it's really hard. to make lasting connections or meaningful connections with people now because of the way the world is. But the good news is, well, no, first of all, don't do Craigslist. No, yeah, unless you want to suck him off.

Next thing you know you'll suck some guy off. Unless you want to die or suck him off. Didn't realize you sucked him off and then have no wallet or pants. If you hate your wallet. I have no idea how any of those three things happen. If you hate your wallet and you want to get sucked off or die, do Craigslist.

Yeah, that's what's what Craig's for. It's a great tagline for Craigslist. Hate your wallet? Craigslist. Feeling like getting sucked off by the same sex? Craigslist. Want to die? Craigslist.

They'd probably do better. I seem to be okay. I think that there are, did he say where he was? No, right? Wherever you are, there are other people like you and I say that not guessing

I say that with 100% certainty. Now that being said, how do those people get together and meet? There's only really one way and it's not to sit at a bar as you pointed out already. It is to, unfortunately, go online

and see where these kinds of meetups happen. Sometimes you've got to go to a meetup. I got a friend who just moved Portland. I'm sorry. Knew nobody. And now he's the mayor. It's very much not the kind of person that's like, I'm going to go to a thing

to meet people. He did. Now he's the mayor. Guess what happened? He's the governor. No, he made two actual friends. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, I mean. And they hang out now. And look, dude, it's corny. It's It feels weird. Did they suck each other off?

Did they still as well, I guess, but. It can be awkward, but, dude, when you, when you stop and realize you're not alone at all in this regard, that there are other people exactly like you in this exact situation, it changes everything. They're all looking to make a friend that actually is a friend. And, and, and, and, and that's out there. It just, they're organized online. They don't just happen naturally like they did. I mean, like, but also, when we were growing up, I wasn't done. Yeah, but you're just taking it too long. So, what I think is... I take the right amount of time. No?

I do. No? No, that's a question. See, you know you're wrong. Try to think. Yeah, what I think is, well, like, I go to the gym and I, like, you go to the gym. Don't you meet people at the gym? Like, I have...

That's not a place to meet. No, it's not. But if you go every day, like, I have, I'm thinking of two guys at the gym right now. Okay. That I would totally be friends with. That you would totally be friends with. I'm just, I'm not, but I would absolutely be like, yo, I'm going to this thing if you want to come. I'm thinking of two dudes.

Okay. Well, if it's like that for him at the gym, then maybe that's a place to start. But that's what I'm saying. Maybe he's not thinking about it in that way. Maybe he's not being open to it. I have noticed that younger generations are afraid to do that in public in person. Right. Let me tell you right now, more now than even when we were coming up and any other generation

was coming up. That is the way to make friends because people don't expect it and they're put on their heels in a good way. They're like, oh, this person is a person and they want to look at me and talk to me and spend time with me. That is something that is. Suck me. We are wired to be lean in when that happens unless the person's a fucking freak, which you are, of course, not. but yeah online things uh i don't know about if it's facebook whatever i mean dude you remember when we were well i mean i remember fully the stigma of oh you met the online yeah fully fully

fully weird for everybody i remember that yeah and now it's just how you do it yeah people so to the point that people are like oh i can't talk of that person in person yeah i've had friends my age be like oh i can't talk to that woman in person i'm gonna find her on instagram yeah yeah yeah i'm like oh you're you're you're completely living opposite than how you should you talk to her in person then go from there you don't find out who she you don't find out who she is it's a rejection then circumvent that and go onto her instagram and say hey but that's the rejection thing they're scared of rejection it's like how you can kill somebody by kill a whole tribe by pushing a button i think it's part of that and i think that they're

hiding behind that a little bit. But I also think they believe the rules of the game have changed and that that is looked down upon. And actually women, in this case, not saying he's trying to meet women, but with they, men think women are like, oh, this is not how I mean men. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. No, yeah. Wrong. Wrong. Bing, bum, wrong. Yeah. I understand what you're saying. And I, but I do think also, I mean, I guess I don't know, but like asking for someone's Instagram is probably, uh, I would think if you're a guy. It's an okay thing to do. Is that what you're saying?

It's an okay thing to do. Yeah, yeah, it is. Yeah, but if you're a guy and you ask a pretty girl for their Instagram, there's only one thing that's happening there. It's not like, like, I mean. You asked for a number. If you're going to ask for something. I've been around people that they just go for the Instagram.

Yeah, actually, me too. Quite a bit, actually. Yeah, I think that, I mean, it doesn't, it doesn't matter. Everything's everything. but like, Lauren Hill, but like, you know,

I think that if a guy says, what's your Instagram, I think if a girl's not, put it this way, if a girl's not interested in him, to be like, oh, great. You know,

it's not like, it's not like a thing where that's like, oh, just fucking who cares, follow me. It's not like that. Because then it's like,

now he knows where I am. Sometimes a girl can give a fake number and that's, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you,

you know, I mean, I mean, girls hit on me all the time. Oh, that's cool. So I always got to give him a different Instagram handle. I usually do Vin Diesel, but. Oh, wow. You give him Vin Diesel.

V-I-N. D-I-E-S-E-L. Well, when you spell it out, they don't think Vin Diesel. Matt DeLia. There we go. They're just in a hurry and they're getting Vin Diesel. Yeah, that's me. This is you?

He's like this. Yeah. Oh, he's always smiling big and saying, thanks, Mom, or crying about Paul Walker. Yeah. I'm like, yeah, that's me. I look different in photos. Yeah. When's the last time you guys have made an actual new guy friend?

I think I'm on the way at the gym. A real new guy friend. In person? Yeah. In person. I would say, unfortunately, it's been a couple years. And I'm remembering who he is and how it happened. And it was me.

I'll be honest, I'm the king of that shit. But I don't know. last time, new friend in person, like, without being introduced by someone else? Yeah, that's what you're talking about, right? Sure, yeah. Yeah, that would be a couple years ago for me. Jeez, I don't know. That's a good question.

But it wasn't me, again, seeking that out. If I was seeking that out, it would be way more. There's one I have at the gym. Yeah. I'm not even thinking, I haven't even thought about him. Yeah. Yeah, we must not be that good of a friend. No, it's a little different for me, though, because he came up to me because he's like,

I love your stuff and shit. So I don't know if you count that, but like. Is part of this question, like there's it's a complete stranger. Sure, yeah. Yeah, because everybody knows who I am. You know what I mean? World Famous.

I'm doing a world tour. I wouldn't go that for, but yeah. Like I became friends with somebody because we were seated out of, we didn't know each other. We were seated at a birthday party like at the same side of the table. Started talking. Yeah, that counts. That counts.

And we're like, yeah, we're close now. That counts, right? Yeah, that counts. I mean, that's exactly what that is. Yeah. Way to go, dude. You got to like just be chatty, you know? You're a very social, chatty guy, though.

I don't know. You are? You, yeah. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, mine was the guy from the gym, I guess. He's a cool, dude. I like him a lot, you know.

And then he introduced me to the people, to the person that cuts my hair now. And so, like, my guy was a famous guy. No big deal. I'm not just throwing it out there. Denny the Dei Lewis. Oh, wow. No, not that famous. No, I, yeah.

So, but, yeah, I don't, I don't know. Let me tell you something. But famous people are lonely, dude. They mostly suck. They're lonely. Oh, they mostly suck. Yeah. This one doesn't.

But yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, I know, not all of them. But, yeah, they, uh, it's a weird thing, you know. I mean, I guess people would say I'm famous. I don't even think about, like, I'm not, like, I'm talking about, like. You mean, like celebrities. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. I am one of Motenui on July 10th. Maui, you will board my boat and restore the heart of Tiffiti. And here we go. The journey begins. See her light up the night in the sea.

The ocean chose you. Let's go save the world. I got your back, chosen one. Disney's Moana. Boots Nick. His name is Hay Hey Hey. His name is Yum when he goes in my tum-tum. In theaters July 10th.

Hey guys, you've answered a few of my questions before, so I'm hoping you can give me advice on this too. Um, long story short, my husband's brother was arrested, uh, last year for hardcore drugs. He is an addict. Um, and since then he's been in a Christian rehab facility. His parents put him in there. Um, he is 30 years old. And if you don't know what Christian rehab facilities, most of them are, um, this one does not have any kind of therapy or counseling.

Nothing for the mental health at all. Um, his parents don't believe in that. Erigo why they put him in that. What the fuck? They don't believe in that. But he's getting out next to month. And my husband has been saying that he wants to have him over and I personally am not a hundred percent comfortable with that. I don't 100 percent know why I'm not comfortable with it. But I just wondered what you guys would do in this situation. It's not like I have anything against him. It's just more of like I just don't feel comfortable. So what do you guys think I should do? I think you should let him over and I should I think that should be you getting your read on on him and how he's doing. That's. sounds frankly the Christian rehab I don't even know if you called that that sounds like the least

likely to put someone on the right path if there's no actual therapy going on what are they doing there just talking about like church yeah or talking about how god it I can only guess I'm kind of thinking about but I mean you know rehab is intense and intensive for a reason regular rehab. It's not just the withdrawal process, which they help you with. It's also reintegrating not only into society, but reintegrating your actual self into your daily operations, which is a whole fucking thing. So I would imagine, I don't want to be negative, but I would imagine that he'll probably need more help even when he gets out of this Christian thing.

And you seem perceptive and we'll be able to perceive of that. And I'm assuming your husband's open to that as well. Maybe there's a version where you have him over and I'm not saying he's going to be fucking Tasmanian devil looking for drugs under your China. But like, you know, it's possible that your read on him will be he probably needs more support. That doesn't mean he needs to go back into rehab. But it could mean he needs an addiction,

psychologists twice a week that can help. He needs to be in group. He needs to be in the rooms. He needs to be in something. But that's not going to... I'm going to go out on the limb and say, that ain't going to do the trick. I don't... I mean, I don't think that she's...

I mean, look, I don't know the relationship. If she's uncomfortable, like, I don't think it's the worst thing in the world to not meet at the house first. Sure, I agree with that. I mean, if she's uncomfortable about it, I kind of understand that. I don't know how their past. I'm just saying if the brother is like, this is what is important to me. Yeah, yeah.

Like, it was us. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd be like, can you please just this one time? Right, right, right, right. And I would imagine whoever I'm with would be like, of course. I'd be like this, Matt could stay on the porch, we'll be inside. But yeah, no, I, yeah, I don't know what that Christian thing sounds like, but that's weird. That sounds like, it's not going to work.

Well, whatever. I hope he does, but yeah, I don't know what that is. I actually think meeting with him one time would be a good way to assess. what he might need moving forward. But nobody's saying she doesn't want to meet with him. She's just saying she doesn't want him over. Then what you said is a great idea. Right.

Go out to dinner or something. Right. Or, you know. Go to coffee. Yeah. Just not. Go to a park. Not a bar.

Or not. Yeah. Not an opium done. I was thinking about that, I think on the way here, is how weird it is. And I know we've talked about this, but like how religion, you know, I know by design, but how by design do you think it was that they made it so like you don't have sex with anyone until you're married, that that was by design that was an easier way to control people? 100%. You think it was a conscious thing?

Because I understand, I understand why that works for sure. But to have the foresight of, you know, however. long ago, thousands and thousands of years. It's not foresight. All of that shit that you see that, a good example is the pork thing. Pork thing? A lot of religions don't eat pork. The reason for that wasn't because the pig's an actual filthy animal.

There's some, there's some whatever spirit in the pig. It's because you would eat pork and get sick. And so the rule became, the rule written by God was do not. pork right right so in in small groups agrarian cultures whatever it was back then not even at that point but it was it was um not sleeping with someone until you're married right was was a way to control the pop this sounds nefarious i'm not saying it was it's utilitarian it's it's it's a way to control the population it's it's similar to what a lot of religions do which is like in the book written by god are these commands that are not

necessarily universal certainly not anymore but they're in at the time you can read in between the lines and say why this was better than why would they make it like that then there's a good reason for that because but but so but controlling the population sounds nefarious so you're talking about. No, it's not about controlling the population. It's about controlling the way the society gets along. If you have a child and no one is there contractually, to take care of it, that's the problem for your very many society. I understand that. And you think, I guess my question is, you think that they, how is that a foresight? I'm saying like, how do they think like, Well, so you're saying they thought, well, if we have kids out of wedlock, then that's bad for society.

We can't be doing that. More or less. More or less. Yeah. You do. You do. I do believe in that. Yeah. I mean, there's a number of things like that. I mean, because, you know, in a way, it's like, is it chicken or the egg where it's like, wait, what the fuck, dude? All these kids that have been born, I noticed a pattern. But it's not, the way, the reason I'm saying it's not defarious is because they're not like we're going to control people. I get it. By making them only have sex until they're married.

Right. That is not something. That is just a made-up rule. Arbitrarily, you could argue, that they could have inserted into the book if they so chose, but why would they do that? I mean, now with, with, like, contraception and, like, all this stuff, it's just so weird

that some people are like, I mean, I get, if you want to have a lower body count or whatever the hell, but, like, for some people to be like, no, I won't. I won't have sex until I'm married is so fucking out there, bro. It's in their books. I know. How they roll?

To be like that now, it's just out there. Yeah, I mean, but people are, there are religious people that live by the tenets of that religion. And what are you going to do? Tell them fucking, go out young man, young woman and go fuck a bunch and then get there. I just think it'll be awesome. They're going to be like, nah. Jesus said a different... I just think if people die and go to heaven

and then Jesus and then all the God, God was just like, man, you guys just got him fucking the whole time? You kidding me? You going to purgatory? No, no, no, you can be in heaven, but man, you missed out, bro. We don't even have sex here. You think St. Peter's forgiving like that? No, I'm just saying, like, not even forgiving,

but like, why didn't you fucking go out there and get some? Oh, you're... The answer would be, you told me not to, motherfucker. I know, but no, but he... But it's so fucking far convoluted. He'd be like, that wasn't me that said that. You know, he'd be like, I mean, it got lost in translation, bro.

We were all fucking. Oh, they were definitely all fucking. That's what I'm saying. You think we weren't fucking. And get up there. They were all fucking. I know. Guys were fucking each other.

Bro, I know. Man and women were fucking. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Women were doing the scissor thing. Probably. Bean under the cellophane. Back to that, huh?

You know what I mean? Trying to get that bean out to cellophane, but can't. but rigorously trying. Since the dawn of time. Well, yeah. All right. So anyway, thank you for, you know, watching and listening.

Appreciate you. I'm going to be in Louisville and Miami and Brea, California. Come check me out. And, uh, Chris Lee.com. And if you're like the homie, uh, who's 25, looking for friends, uh, they might be virtual, but they're waiting there for you. Patreon.com slash Matt DeLea. get up in there we greet everyone with our homes what old pound so bad no knock it wasn't bad

it was really good right there um but yeah get it get up in there dude it's a place for you and all those like yeah cool uh i need water okay bye everybody almost broke the set cool