Lifeline - 220. Watch Your Mouth Down South

Episode Date: July 12, 2026

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BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. Excuse me. Oh, excuse me. Oh! Sorry, if you just simply open somebody's mail just to see what it is, that's illegal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You cannot open someone else's mail. Yeah, I think it's 25 to life.

I think you're going to the clink and I think you need a really good lawyer. They have a special jet for that where every day you get pretty much railed. Okay, well, it happens all the time. I do it by accident because my previous tenant, the person that owned my house before me, he gets mailed still. He like, I think he was a criminal who like scone. He like ran it off to Italy. I don't know. He literally left, he was a cook, chef.

He left boxes of pasta on top of the laundry. He was like, I need to get out of this country immediately. Not even necessarily. That means you need to bounce. I mean, where are you not going to take your pasta? He's not like some Asian that travels with their food and stuff. Well, no, that's not the only reason. I think he's a criminal.

That would be the worst. Oh, he left his pasta. Dude, this guy's in some shady stuff. I'm just saying he was a weirdo. He was pasta on the dryer. And on top of that, he gets certain kinds of mail that I don't open that I'm like, This seems like... Yeah.

If anyone open my jail, I'd press serious charges. But opening someone's mail happens all the time on accident. On accident, which is what you did. You just say I was going through my dozens of pieces of mail. Which is what you did. Which is what you were doing. But he'd only say that because that's what he did. Right.

That's what I did. Right. Oh, is that actually what you did? I mean, Matt, you know. I thought you separately were like, oh, what are these? I'm wondering and I'm opening. Yeah, Matt, that's what he did. Yes.

Oh, okay. So he did it. So it totally more, then there's no issue at all. Yeah. Just tell them what happened. And also, if there are checks in them. Tell them what happened, Winky, so you don't wind up in the clinky, if you know what I mean. But no, what I was going to say, if there are checks in them, deflating, figure out a way to get them written for me.

No. Well, tell them exactly what happened, Winky, so you don't wind up in it. And then I'll just collect a finder's fee for his checks. That's not going to happen. One time they did the government doesn't give those. One time does. Well, you were a nice guy. Here's you.

Imagine, dude. One time they gave him and one time somebody hit me up and they're like, we never paid you. And I was like, what? And it was so much money. I was like, oh, awesome. And they were going to give it to me. And then they brought me back. Never mind.

We actually did pay you. That is such a bad way. So I already use that money? I've had that feeling. Isn't that weird? You know what's weird about that? Is that it's the same no matter what? Because it comes in news.

that you're going to get it. Yeah, I know. And then you don't, you feel like you lost whatever it was, 75K, whatever. That's why I always say. And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and. That's why I always say, spend the money when you are, when you, when you

haven't made it yet. And I know, nobody ever agrees with me. No. Spend it. Yeah, I know nobody ever agrees with me. Can you. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's kind of a weird, like, if you know checks are coming in, spend money. Don't spend money when you have it.

Define no, what, what, what, what, but, you have it. If I know what, like, super steady job worth checks are, what's the word I'm looking for? Consistently the same amount for the very solidly foreseeable future. That's what you're talking about. Yes. And then you're saying when you get that money, spend it? No. Spend it before.

How do you spend it before you have it? You pretty much do it like the day of. I mean, you can get debt. You can go into debt. Yeah. No, I'm just saying what I'm saying is. When you have money, you start thinking you have money and then you start acting like that. Don't, that's when you got to be like, okay, I got money.

Let me chill. Let me just make sure I'm comfortable. I agree with that. But what's the, I can't really explain it. I'm bad at it. But what's, no, that was well explained. What's the part that you said, though? Don't spend money before that.

You were saying something about spending money that, about not and not having it. Spent? I don't remember. What was it exactly? I don't know. What he said? Yes. He said spend the money when you know you're going to get it. Not when you get it. Which is ridiculous. Yeah. He thinks it's ridiculous. A lot people think it's ridiculous. I don't think it's ridiculous. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm definitely the confused one. Spend the money when you're going to get it. Instead, you're taking issue with he should be saying spend the money when you get it. So, okay. This is what he's saying. Let's say I said to you, hey, this month you're going to get a check. for $10,000. Okay. And so now you, you're spending money like you already have $10,000. Go out, buy a shirt. Yeah, no, but I don't mean spend all $10,000. You understand.

You understand. Okay. But go on. No, that's all he's saying. Go and spend it because you know you're making. Spend it like you already have it. So, first of all, until you have it in hand. What's your issue with that is what I'm asking?

Because until you, first of all, until you have it in hand, don't spend money. That's a tricky game, bro. No, it's not a tricky. It's actually the very, the. the most simple game. That's one of the least trickiest games that I've ever, it's not a game. You go, I got money in my account now.

It's there, right? You've already been paid. No, I'm saying, if it is. You did. You go, let's go spend it. That's a dangerous thing. If you don't have the money yet and you know it's coming,

you'll spend some of it. And that's less dangerous. And if you just waited, how? How is that less, that's a good thing? Because, okay, if I'm, if I have $10,000 coming in. Yeah. And I have $3,000 in my bank account. And I see something that's $1,000 that I want.

Uh-huh. I should get it now because I know the $10,000 is coming. Once I have the $10,000 and you go to get something that's $1,000, that leads to wanting to buy more and more. Okay. I mean, there really is about circumstance and opportunity arising. But what you're saying is. if there's something that you want and you know money's coming,

get the thing when you want it. Right. Don't wait. Well, yeah. Well, no, and that's not necessarily what I'm saying. It's kind of like one of these things that like an ancient, it's like an ancient proverb that I haven't really figured out the wording to yet. But when I do, everyone's going to be like that means.

It's actually figured out the content and meaning of it. Once I figure out the exact wording of it, people are going to be like, wow, I actually never thought about it. Once you just haven't yet. Can you sit back down so I can keep talking to you about this? Sorry, sorry, sorry. You just got up in the middle of a conversation like most people. I thought I heard a knock.

Crazy person. I heard a knock. What's the, you just, you just, tell tell tell hard. It's going to be a, what do you call?

Proverb or like a, not a proverb, but like a, it's going to be like a proverb, yeah. Yeah, proverb, when I come up with the right wording where people are going to go, oh,

I never thought about it that way. What's the wording now? If you have to do your best. There's too many words and I don't really know how to explain it, but I have the feeling of it. So when I get the feeling out into, words, everyone's going to fucking lose their mind. You think once it's like crystallized in the best possible.

Yeah, they're going to go, wow. You think everyone that hears it, like, they're going to like sit down and be like, no, no, no, but they'll just be like, oh, like, I can put it on a, a wood plank, like, the quote that you can sell and have crystallia. And then like every six year old plants coming out at the bottom or something, like painted plants come out of the bottom. Oh, at home goods. So like every 60 year plus woman has it in their home.

once you get the money you're only spend when it's coming or something you know but i mean the worst a the worst financial advisor be the worst proverb maker see doesn't really even know the meaning of what he's getting i wish you knew what i was talking about me too that that's the that's the proverb oh oh that's a great proverb i wish you knew what i was talking about you know what i've been read lately? What? Yeah. Chris, can you look up the proper pronunciation speaking?

Can't even pronounce pronunciation. Can't even pronounce pronunciation? On this, Epic Titus. Dude, how did I know you were going to say Epic Titus? That's hive mindshed. We've known each other so long. We do shit like that all the time. That's very weird, though.

It's Epictetus. Epictetus is right? I don't know. Eptutus. I don't know. Epic. So Epic is wrong. Epicetus.

No, I was saying right. Okay. Got fucked up by the phonics. Epictetus. I even knew what it was. It says right there. So I'm mad about it, you know? I'm just saying, once you get the money.

But the Greeks had ways of saying things that were not exactly the way we say things. Anyway. Money is a root of all evil. Fucking. I would have came up with that right now. If it wasn't a thing. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, sorry. You can do your Epictetus thing.

Already fucking forgot. Is my point. Well, you'll remember it again. But what I'm saying is this is the moment where I would have come up with money as a root of all evil if you if it didn't exist already and that would have been mine i think when you say things like that i don't you know i don't have the kind of anger that i used to like i don't have a temper i don't have like i don't even really have what's like that violent tendencies well i'm getting at something when you say things like that i want to smash your head through a wall what do you think when i say

things like what money's root of all evil no of course not that because it is the part that you said about you would have created if it exists. Oh, that makes you mad? Oh, bro, I would come up with so much shit. Yeah, see now. I want to put your head through a while. And I'm curious as to what we think about that. You think I wouldn't have come up with keep your friends close, your enemies closer?

Sun Tzu did it because it was so long ago and he was alive first. But my shit would have been fucking, I mean, that would my whole mantra. Okay. Money over bitches, Tupac. I mean, we'll give that to him. But it's like. Well, what else? What else you got in that fucking mind of yours that you would have, would have, would have

world stumbled upon and gifted hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and the shit uh could could have got could have guessed that one what else is don't like that's trust that's not one yet don't trust having like having like in your like like like very famous saying don't like loose lips loose lips sink ships i would i wouldn't come up with that one that one's corny i think but I would have made it better. How would you made it better? I'd tell you what I would have made it better. And then nobody would have came up with that stupid loose lips sink ships one.

And then no one really remember it. No, they would. They would. I would come up with a better version of that. It would be like, watch your mouth down south. Watch your mouth on south. Watch your mouth until you go down south? Watch your mouth.

Until you go down south? Watch your mouth or you'll go down south. I don't know. I don't know either. Watch your mouth. all a fun experiment. You think you have the ability to

coin phrases. If you say so, I guess. But epictetus? What? Epictetus? Epicitis. Epicitis. That's some shit.

I'm reading it. You know, a lot of the stoicotis. their writing is like like you pick up you pick up marcus aurelius meditations which is which is everybody talks i mean jerry sinfeld talks about reading it everybody reads fucking meditations uh so you start reading it though and it's like so much of it is like how to be a man right and how to like live with honor right and like it's like it's like it's fucking 2026 but but epictetus is not that And I'm genuinely like learning from him in a way that is, I don't want to say new.

I've learned my whole life even as an adult when I'm not actively learning. You were saying he would have came up with the same philosophy if wasn't for him, which is exactly what I was saying. No, you're saying that. What I'm saying is the wisdom in there is, is, it's insane to think somebody arrived at wisdoms that I'm not like an extra smart guy. But I'm like a pretty smart guy. Sure, yeah, okay. That, that... You're pretty smart, yeah.

Hasn't put into full, clear thought A, but B, maybe hasn't even really... Maybe it's in the ether, maybe it's in the air somewhere in their mind, but hasn't even really stumbled upon to be able to put together as a thought. It's amazing to me that someone 2,000 years ago

could have done that. Epictus? Now, we're talking about 2,000 years ago. You want to talk about fucking... Infucius, you want to talk about Buddhism. You've got to go way further back than that. It's just crazy that the mind was so capable. Is it?

Of what would mean? I mean, he's still a person. We're people. But what's your point? Well, I mean, my point is if you were back then, you don't think you would have come up with some of this stuff? I have no idea, but my guess is no. Me? Like, like you wouldn't come up with something like.

Don't explain your philosophy. People, you need to understand it or whatever the fuck it says over there. You would come up with something like that. Okay, but this is the, this is beyond Cliff's notes. Okay. Like when you get into the nitty-gritty of the details of what he's writing, you're like, oh, shit.

Okay, this is mind-exposed. His famously argued, go up. He's famously argued is one of the most of famous stoics. He's one of the most of death instead of desperately trying to avoid it, he advised contemplating it daily. By removing the fear of death, he believed people are free to live

virtuously and purposely in the present. Okay, that is a sum up of things that he may be said here and there, and that is... Because I'm telling you right now, I'm sitting around in the year fucking 800. I'm thinking of that. Okay, well, that...

In the year 800, dude? Epic. Here's me being... Epicterian. First of all. Here's me being stoic or whatever. Fucking waiting around, thinking, I go, oh, yeah, I would come up with that.

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That's stupid. I mean, you're so... I would have came up with something better than that too. Fucking annoying. Every single fucking word or phrase that's come up, you've said you would have either come up with it. Not everyone. Or come up with a better one. Not everyone. What do you mean? Not everyone. We're not talking about people. We're not talking about people. Every saying that's ever been said I wouldn't come up with. I didn't accuse you of that. I said every single thing that's come up. You've said either I would have come up with that or what was it again? I already forgot. Or that it sucks. Or that it's like obvious and who cares? It's obvious. Or no, yeah, or that it sucks. I don't mean that it sucks. I mean that. The stoics. That doesn't suck. I don't. That doesn't suck. I

I went too far there. That doesn't suck. We're calling the Stoic Stoics. Yeah, yeah, that's fine. I went too far. Okay. He went too far, folks, and he admits it. And that's what we like to see.

We like to see people. But anyway, say, hey, you know what? I went too far. And I'm man enough. I'm human enough to admit it. Nice to meet you. No. New man.

No. Okay, he's not a new man. He refuses the new man. I've been the same man pretty much, but like I said. Pretty much, but not. So new man, nice to meet you. No. Dude, here's the deal.

I'll be in Washington, D.C. I mean, the worst segue. I'll be in Louisville. I'll be in Miami. I'll be in Spokane, Tulsa. Okay. Springfield, Missouri. Dude,

go to get tickets at chrissor. Happy birthday to Brock Lesnar, Lee, Biong, Hun, and Tofer Grace. Wasn't just Tofer? Nah, fucking update that. We just had Tofer Grace's birthday.

There's some bullshit. Oh, dude. You fucked it up? No. He's got two birthdays in one year. Yeah, dude. You fucked us, dude. Ask when's Tover.

It hasn't been a year. In the meantime, subscribe to our Patreon, patreon.com slash lifeline luxury. Absolutely subscribe to this channel. Hold on. Let me do this. Go ahead. Go ahead. Absolutely subscribe to this channel is super good.

It's important. It means a lot to us. And also, you know, if you want to talk about everything from AI Slop and have some fun party time to things like Epic Titus, join my Patreon. Patreon. Patreon. Patreon. Yeah. Bing bong, bing bing bong, bing bong, bing bong, bing bong.

I absolutely lost your fucking mind. Rick at your vance. I'm just laughing at how fucking stupid it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, dude, you know what? Every fucking... No, I'm not. That's not what I'm doing.

I'm saying, you're saying I'm fucking stupid for saying dumb shit and you're going bingbong, bing bong, bing bong, and laughing like fucking... No, no, no, no. No, no. No, no, no. No, I was going to take issue with what you said of what I said. I was going to take issue with the thing that you do after... It doesn't even necessarily have to be a, be, why are you mad? I'm not mad.

Okay. We can't even get to submissions. We can't even get there. Go ahead. No, no, no, it's okay. I'm just saying, people like that we do this. I'm just saying, go ahead. After someone's done, I don't know if you do this on other podcasts.

Yeah, I don't know. Anyway, you're going to be off. I do that. Yeah, okay, but that's how I don't know what I'm talking about. I do that out of in security. That's fine. That's not what we're going to talk about. We're not going to delve deep.

This is not psychoanalysis. What I was going to say is you go like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And I know you're not doing this, but it sounds like, yeah, yeah, shut the fuck out. I know, but that's not what I'm doing, but yeah. No, I know that's something.

I know, no, no, I know, but I'm confirming that that's why I feel so comfortable to bring it up. I know, no, no, I know. In front of our great friends. And I'm not, I'm not saying you're saying that, but I'm confirming that I'm not saying that. But do you know that you do that? I do, yeah.

I already knew that. And how do you feel about that? I don't love it. I don't, I don't love it. Okay. I don't think it's probably My biggest flaw Then you're living good, my friend

Okay, let's get to submissions Hey Matt, hey Chris Here's the guy that fuck that girl Hope you guys are doing well today And I just want to say thank you for the advice That you give me in the past Matt, I'm still waiting on the return of the private record No pressure, but I do miss it, I just gotta say

Join the Patreon, it's coming I'll see you in Tulsa and I'm really excited because it's going to be my first time I've ever seen you. Oh, cool. My advice I need today is I need help coming up with some ideas for pranks. Now, I've got some in-laws that they travel a lot and they need us to watch their house. It's not a big deal. I live very close to them, so it's not that big of a deal, but it is annoying.

Now, what I've started doing is pulling pranks on them while they're out of town to get some sort of, you know, get something out of it, right? You're evil. Now, the last prank I pulled was pretty, it went way better than that. than I expected. Great. One died. I had a package of garbonzo bean seeds throughout their house. There's like 20 of them throughout their house.

And my mother-in-law, she believed that she had mice in her house, so much so that she woke up in the middle of the night, screaming and shaking her husband saying, Tony, they're in here. They're in the walls. So I loved it. Okay. I need more advice for, I need some help coming up with some pranks that I can do for the next time they're out of the town. Thank you guys. Appreciate you. Love you so much.

Appreciate you. Have a great day. Love you too, man. I would start with maybe go with pranks that don't end up with a senior-aged couple waking up in the middle of night, freaking out, saying, I know they're in here, I know they're in here, I know they're in here. That's a prank. I know you loved it. I would say that went a little sideways. I mean, I don't know. What do you think? Hold on. What I don't really... You hate pranks. I haven't put the guy. I don't like pranks. Unless they're Unless they're Like I don't like Pranks that like

Inconvenience anyone Or hurt That's the worst Like jackass stuff I'm not That's not even a prank But I know what you're Yeah it's not

But they do pranks I actually I don't know But like I don't like Pranks like that Like I My favorite prank that I ever did And I haven't done many really

Is when The guy Who I I used to bring him on the road, Michael Inocchi. Oh, I like this one. He had a spot at the laugh factory. And everyone knew him as my opener.

And he was like, dude, I can't wait to the show. And he kept on for like a month or two in the group chat. He was like, dude, everyone's going to see that I'm better than you now. And I was like, oh, we'll see. And he's like, I even got a new outfit. And he sent us the outfit and the pictures of the outfit. This is a great print. So I just went to go buy the outfit.

Of course, yeah. And then he went on stage. and then I went on stage right after him with the same exact outfit. And I was saying, I can't fucking believe that just because he opens for me, he buys the same fucking clothes as me now. Nice.

Yeah, that's really, really good. And it was so funny. And did a kill? Yeah. And he ran out and he was like, no, no, no, tell me the truth. You know, it wasn't like it hurt anybody. Well, obviously.

And, and, and it's very, very easily explainable. And he thought it was funny, I'm sure. Yeah, but it's very easily explainable. It's not like, it's not like people believe that still. You know what I mean? They know, if all you have to do really is kind of like be somewhat smart and watch what's going on and go, oh, I see he pranked him.

Chris got the outfit after. Right. You know, it's not, you don't have to do. It's like, so I like that. That's the kind of thing I like because it doesn't put anybody out really. Yeah. This guy's talking about. liking putting people out.

Right. But what I don't understand what this guy's saying is, where did it go from garbonzo beans to mice? You're not going to understand that. Why? They did that in their old person. Oh, so it's not that mice showed up to eat the garbonzo beans. I mean, no, they did not have a mice problem. Oh.

They had the garbonzo beans make it seem like mite. To her, they smelled like mice. Oh, mice have a specific smell, as you know, yeah. Oh, yeah. Maybe you don't know that. No, well, I guess I know that, I wouldn't equate it to Garbonzo. I mean, neither would I, but I've never had

Garbozbo being open, Garboen can in every single room in my house. Maybe after eight days, I'd be like, are there a mice in here? I don't, I would defer to her and say, probably. I was thinking about how there was a sound it was making or something, but I was like, how is it making the sound if it's not moving? A horror film, a horror film. Garbonzo this July. Garboanzo by Jordan Peel.

Brought to you by Jordan Peel. Only black people are in it. Not one white person. Well, one, but he dies. Yeah. Oh, okay. What do you think what's going? Racist.

And I was ready to be like, yes, it is that he does that. Oh. That he does that? Oh. Does he do that? It's not. Yeah, no, he specifically will not put white people in lead roles. He said it in interviews.

Explain nope. That dude, that great actor that plays a cinematographer, he was in the lead. Oh, lead roles. Lead roles. Oh, got you, got you, got you. okay and it's all about like equality and representation and stuff but also who are you talking about from nope uh the guy he's got that great voice he's a great actor oh that guy Michael wincott yes Michael wincott yes great great amazing voice amazing voice yeah I come to his voice I close

my eyes and play Michael Wincock clips okay well okay it's is it gay or would that be gay that would be gay Yeah. To close your... But he doesn't... Hypothetical. Men don't turn me on. He doesn't turn me on, obviously. He's a man.

But his voice turns me on. I don't know. In isolation. I don't know. Oh, I'm sorry. You don't want to talk about this? No, I'm thinking about it. I generally don't know.

If that's gay or not. I genuinely don't know. Well, let's think about it. Let's talk about it. I don't care enough. Yeah. But what do you mean You don't care enough?

It's not something I care about. Oh, okay. Well, I don't think it's, I don't think it's gay. It depends on what he's saying. Yeah, my cop. No, it's a line from Nope.

Then you're just weird, bro. You got a kink. Isn't there something called audio, like you're a sexual, sexually turned by noises or sounds or voices only? For sure. I love certain noises it go. I love noises that go.

Oralism. Oralism. I love noises that go. Oh, yeah. Like a chick. Is that right? Is it called oralism? Like a U-R-A?

There you go. Yeah, there you go. That's exactly what it is. That's what that would be. I like, my two are. Oh, yeah. And fucking. Your two what, I'm sorry?

The two oral, oralisms I have. Oh, okay. Are, uh. Oh, yeah. And 800, five, three, three, two, six hundred, empire today. And I go, oh. Okay. It fell down a bottle.

When they rolled down the carpet without the carpet? I don't even know what that, if I know what that is. You don't know that play it. That was the wrong number. Oh, yeah, bro. You know, such a stickler, dude. A savant, an oralism. An oralistic person.

An oralist. An oralist. 800580 2,600 Empire Let's see what to see the number Well whatever it is dude Well no now you're thinking you're wrong We're seeing

Well I don't know what it is What 800? It's 588 Yeah it's 588 I said 2 600 That's very close bro At the end Everything else is right

800 588 You didn't say 588 You said something else Like 266 I said 588 Nope I said We can rewind it

You didn't 800 533 3 3 to 600 Empire today. I think he did, but I did the second time at least. I think he did. Let's say he did. Oh, back toarck. I would put a lot of money on the first time you said it. It wasn't, it wasn't. It's up on Kalshia already. Maybe not the first time, but the second time I did say it. Put a bed on it. Whatever. It doesn't matter, bro. This podcast says, nothing today. What is it usually?

What, what? I know. I prefer it to be about nothing. Okay. So then what are you complaining about? It's funny to think about and talk about. Fuck. God damn it. But you're acting like you're angry about it. We're so off track. No, no, no. It's fine.

It is what it is. And it's why people listen. Yes. It is why people listen. I like the bits. They like the bits. They like the bits. And no, no, no.

Between the subs. I know. Subs lead to the bits. We weave and we bob. We're like Donald Trump. No. Do you know who Donald Trump is? Yeah.

He's the president of the United States right now. I know. He's on my passport. He was president twice. He was president. And then Joe Biden was president. was president and then he was president again he's on my passport

it's a picture of Donald Trump they're making it they're making them oh yeah yeah we talked about this I thought that was a special thing you could pay for it but no I didn't talk about this no we talked about this on the show oh I thought you had to opt into that yeah no no apparently

he's just on it no no no no there's like a finite amount that they're making and you can you can pay for it try to get one yeah and you you you did that? No, fuck no. Then why are you getting his face on your passport? I'm joking.

Oh, okay, okay, good. Where you been? I was just as confused. I thought you were saying the same thing that you thought. Yeah, I thought you were being serious, yeah. That I got Donald Trump on my passport? Oh, because it was a mandatory. Yeah, got it, got it.

Wow, we figured that out. Yeah, good job. That's a worst podcast on a planet, but the, uh, the, that guy, I don't like prank. Dude, stop saying that because sometimes the episodes are really bad. This is a really good episode so far. Okay. Okay.

We are rolling, rolling, rolling, as our friend Fred Ders would say. I mean, there were better and worse episodes just like everything, you know?

Sure. There are some episodes where it's a slog, dragging your feet, sometimes the bits don't come, sometimes the subs are like, blah, my fucking boring thing.

Yeah. Not, none of that. Right. Good conversation. Epicetus, the thing about the gay thing that you had no interest in, even though that was interesting.

I already forget it. Um, and, uh, it led to knowledge. we have an oral list among us we found out my name is peter parker but i'm also spider man

this july we're faced with a threat that can be anyone the world may have forgotten peter parker i'm just a neighbor friendly neighbor but he hasn't forgotten them sometimes spider man has to do the hard thing that's my responsibility talk to banner i didn't know you could get that big

spider man brand new day in the July 31st. Here we go. Someone's already claiming this is our year. Someone else said that last year too. A round of Jamison, Ginger, and Lime arrives at the table. Smooth enough for kickoff, smooth enough for extra time.

New friends pulling up a stool. Debates about whether that was a handball. Cheers rising like a roar around the room. Because match days are about the shared moments. Added Jameson to your match day lineup. Jameson, it's what you bring. Please enjoy our products responsibly. Yeah.

But you're pissed. No, I'm not pissed. I just, I don't, I don't think pranks are that great unless they're very specific and don't really put people out. Yeah, I don't like pranks. I don't think you should be pranking senior citizens specifically because here's why. The surprise of one, that alone can lead to their death, even if they're truly healthy. And I hate to be an alarmist like that. But like, don't prank senior citizens.

I'm not like being a moralist and saying you're doing things wrong. I mean, maybe they're 58. Maybe a prank like there's like a fucking Whoopi cushion on their favorite chair. Go that far. But don't like fucking open cans of garbanzo piece in their house with their head waking up in the middle night thinking they're mice.

I mean, it seems like it's a pretty benign prank, to be honest. But you never know how they can go. But yeah. My favorite prank is to run in and you see an old person and you fucking unload the clip right in their chest and then you go, he-he, and you run away.

And you go, gotcha. I think that's just plain murder. You go, would you think I would you think I was the fucking mailman. And then they don't answer because they're dead. So dead. So how's that work? It's a prank.

Yeah. Down for the prank life. Yeah. The ultimate prankster. I got Spotify for the first time. Worst segue. You never had Spotify? No, never.

I got it yesterday for the first time. How do you feel about that? Been listening to the locks. How do you feel about Spotify? It seems cool, but I don't really care about music. You know, I'm trying to listen to music because I want to see if there's something I could like. Your entry point is the locks.

The locks and some black metal, yeah, because I read that book. Yeah, you're into the black metal thing now. You want to talk about that? Therapist. It's just, I love how you Google the locks and fucking salmon comes up. Oh, yeah. I mean, that's. Well, no, they're pretty vague, though.

Imagine you're the fucking. They're good, though. Yeah, they are good, yeah. You have one of them is your friend, right? No. Who am I thinking about? did you premiere no no no there's like a group that one of them is your is is a buddy of yours fucking whatever oh as it's oasis it's oh ohasus yeah fucking leum galvin chris are tight all right

well we can do another one another uh submission chris is so pissed today it's all i'm not pissed hey chris and matt it's ethan here so i was wondering about hats um when you guys have adjustable hats and you have it on that that adjustment for your head i know it's coming What if it's too loose and then you try and tighten it up and it's too tight? You know, like the little dots right here. Yeah. Do you guys rock with it too loose or too tight? It's the simplest answer for you.

Are you done? Oh, he's done. Matt, I feel like it's probably loose. And then Chris, I think it's probably too tight. Oh, I don't wear hats. I don't know. Let me know. If you did.

Can you? I wouldn't want it. Well, you would do with a hat that. didn't fit right is immediately never wear it because you don't wear hats anyway yeah yeah for me there's a hat I love which happens frequently oh really oh yeah I mean I wear hats all the time no no no no but I'm saying you know this problem oh yeah because they're so close together yeah but the older the they're not actually some of them are pretty wide and okay everybody's heads yeah uh the answer for me is 100% loose I will never put something to put something

tight on my body in general. I can't stand like constriction like that in general, but loose because it's not uncomfortable. Yeah, I don't. And no one's going to be like, what is that fucking thing on your head that's too loose? It's like it's too small to be like noticeable. You know what I'm saying? You're just like, hey, dude, you guys let it hang out and it's fucking hurting the shit out of it? Yeah, that's the other thing.

You take it off. It's so red on there. That's the other thing. The imprint. For imprint, for certain. I don't know what that is, but that, what is that? It's one of my audio, auditsms. Audiotisms?

That's a good term, actually. Yeah, there's that, there's also, you might, you know, you might think, and blend on this, because it's not interesting at all, you might think that it looks better a little bit tighter. what you will very, very quickly find out is not worth it. Is that you are in pain and the pain will grow and it is not worth it

even if it looks a little bit better. Thank you very much. Yeah, hats just kind of are not my thing, man. It's so weird to kind of put something on your head. I love hats. I love them depo. I love them depo. I love hats.

It's kind of weird to put something on your head unless you're fucking cold, obviously. What do you think's weird? Well, think about it this way. You like watches? You like bracelets, you like jewelry at all? Yeah, but you can't really make an argument for it, though. It's bullshit.

I like it because, well, this watch I like because it tracks all my shit. But like a Rolex I have, I wear it sometimes. Do you were chains? Yeah, yeah. Think of it as an accessory, just like anything else people wear. Yeah, I know. But to me, it's like too much of a thing on you to be an accessory. It's like saying,

Pants are an accessory. It's like, no, you have to wear pants. You don't have to wear a hat. It's weird. What I'm positing is that a hat is an accessory. I'm agreeing with you, they are not like pants. A pants are a necessity. Otherwise, you get arrested.

Right. So that's what I'm saying. So like, I mean, I wouldn't, if it was socially acceptable, I would not wear a shirt way, way, way, way more. I think that's pretty socially acceptable, right? Yeah, but like, dude, I'm outside heroin eating and everyone is out there. I'm not going to be out there with my fucking shirt off.

For what reason is that? Because I don't want, I don't know, I don't want people to think, I don't want, first of all, well, the main thing is I don't want them to be grossed out because like, you know, sometimes when a guy's shirt off, you're like, that's fucking gross and I'm eating. It's a, it's a thing. It's a respect.

Social contract. Respect. Yeah, got you, got you. And second of all, it's a little bit, although this is not, if it was just this, I would probably overcome it. It's a little bit, I don't want people to think I think I'm cool. But I don't really fuck with that that much. That's not really a thing that bothered that. I do think that sometimes, but not.

You used to think of more. I think everyone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I used to, yeah. But now I don't care. If I want to have my shirt off, I'll just have it off. But like, I'm not going to do it. I'm a shirt off. Yeah.

Or like, put it this way. Put it this way. I have a shirt off. I'm on a patio somewhere. And it seems like it's okay. Like I'm at an outdoor coffee shop and it's fucking 90 degrees. If I go in the coffee shop, I put the shirt back on. Yeah, right.

Yeah. I don't want to do that. But I do it because it's respect. You're not going to fucking walk into an establishment with no shirt on. Yeah, that's that that is that is the social. But I don't want to do that. I want to have my shirt off. That's,

okay. That's, to me, that's like, but also I don't want fucking fat fucks with their shirts off. So then you got to abide, right? Right,

but also what I think is, sent an example. Yeah. No, no, no, have like a fucking little bit of a respect for yourself. Like don't have respect for yourself too.

Like don't be fucking so fat and disgusting out on a patio. Vote for me. Yeah. No, I mean, yeah. I agree with don't take your shirt off, like, especially in a setting. Like at a baseball game, whatever, who might be eating. Yeah, yeah, right, right, yeah. Or when you're obviously running or walking or whatever.

Or like on a day, just take it off. Yeah. At a nice restaurant. Can you turn down the air? It's kind of cold in here. You cold? No, I'm saying, fuck, this. Nobody gets my bits today.

I'm saying, you don't have a shirt on at the restaurant. Him. What are he saying? goes like this. Is it cold? I'm talking, I'm doing the bit. Sorry, sorry, sorry. God. Maybe it's me.

No, I'm done. Well, quit. He just quit. All right. Yeah. I think you're doing great today. Thanks. Hey, guys.

I need some advice on a brown belt. Road rage as a delivery driver. I'm sure you can tell. God, that's got to be tough. What delivery service I work for based on the color of my shirt? I'm not, hey. But yeah, I deliver on a very busy street or a very busy highway, road, whatever. Yeah, we're out.

And people just don't, like, I think they're blind to my truck, to my vehicle. I think they just don't care that I'm there. They don't care about my life. I mean, it is bad. And I don't know if it's just like where I live or what. I mean, people in Michigan drive pretty crazy. But anyways, yeah, I mean, I can't obviously flip them off or, you know, be rude because I'm in my delivery truck. Not that I would do that in my own truck anyway or my own car anyways, but like, I don't know how to handle it sometimes.

Like, I feel like I'm going crazy with the amount of times I almost get into accidents. It's not Amazon. Or, like, just the amount of people that get angry with me for literally doing my job. So, yeah, any advice to be great or any input would be great. Thanks so much. Bye. Why is her a shirt made out of basketball shorts? You know how the USPS does.

Oh. They've done that since. their inception. Have they? I was thinking about this actually yesterday about an Amazon driver. So this might apply to you as well, I'm sure it does. There was an Amazon driver that was clogging up traffic on a street that me and a bunch of other cars were getting jammed up by.

A Christian, a Polack, and a Jew across the street. And I was annoyed. but I was also thinking how many times a day does this person have to deal with people that are mad at him? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And the answer is an infinite amount of time. It's just all day long. And so, but here's the thing, though. They're not mad at you. You need to depersonalize it. Right, right, right, right. They're mad at whether it be the USPS or Amazon,

they're not like fuck this bitch driving this fucking car it's this it's it's it's this system of big ass fucking trucks and whatever you're driving tax you're driving that are constantly in the fucking way and people are really ready to be mad about that uh for whatever for better or worse and uh it is annoying yeah um and my suggestion to you would be to to to to take away the personalization yeah take take away you out of the equation

they hate they would hate me if I was doing exactly what you're doing the same amount which is they don't hate me they don't hate you they hate the thing that's in their fucking way which is your vehicle

yeah yeah you there are things that she can do to help her situation though like not be doing this you know you see someone doing that you are all right this fucking guy. Do you even have a plan? Something tells me based on just what her personality seemed like that she's hyper aware

of pissing people off. Yeah, yeah, it seems like it. She's also being a total person. Yes. And it's good. She seems like a good person that's a healthy, of healthy mind, you know, and yeah. I'm always honestly nice as I can be to Amazon work. and

USPS people because I imagine how shittily they get treated all day and I'm not some fucking ray of sunshine but I feel keenly aware of the fact that they're like

hated. Really? Yeah, I guess I wouldn't even have I think they're pretty hated. Yeah, but I mean, I guess I wouldn't even Get the fuck out of the way. Why you parked there? Move your fucking car.

Which makes sense. Like in the world it's annoying. I'm just saying, saying like, you know, these people are doing us a service that we take for absolute fucking granted. It is weird. They deliver our mail for, I mean, we get taxed obviously, but for a very meager sum, they're not paid well.

The USPS, yeah. Yeah, Amazon workers are paid better, but they're still not paid. No, but yeah, but right. No, but I'm just saying we pay for that. That's not, they're not doing it for free. Of course, yeah. Well, they're not doing it for free. They're not fucking.

You know, but our taxes pay for our mail, mail, but not for the fucking, you know, five house cameras I got sent to me the other day. Crazy a lot, like a really disproportionate number of the money we spend our taxes on in terms of mail are because it's so hard to reach certain rural places. Oh, really? So the thing is, the ultimate solution is,

move all of those people should move well yeah or pay more yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you're right yeah yeah yeah um but then they got the whole pain and they got to drive fucking 85 minutes who post why they live out there great question get rid of your fucking a horse pay for a male but uh step one step two um um yeah also i heard trump wants to be on money is is have you heard about this Oh, yeah. You know, I was seeing this thing the other day. It was like powerful people. Why would you want to be on money?

I know why. Well, Trump is a specific case because he wants his name or face on everything. Because there can be. But I wonder if you really stripped it down, what would be the reason somebody would want that? It has to be deep down some version of insecurity. There's no other reason. Unless you're an actual psychopath, sociopath,

like it has to be some deep insecurity that you need to feel like you matter and need to be seen. President Trump wants to create a $250 bill. Reese's knows a thing or two about great combinations. Chocolate and peanut butter, obviously, but there's more than one way to Reese's. From indulgent Reese's big cups with caramel to crunchy Reese's pieces and Reese's miniatures,

there's a delicious Reese's for every mood. It's the same combo you love, just with more ways to enjoy it. So whether you're snacking, sharing, or just treating yourself, nothing else is Reese's. A $250 bill featuring a portrait of himself. That's wow. Wow. Doing that, imagine being like, I don't know, but his whole life he was a lot. just like everyone was all they did was kiss his fucking ass so i don't know man are this this just goes

back to the thing i always say which is that anybody that wants to be president should automatically be disqualified we should choose someone who doesn't want it my fucking yeah i mean that's such a kevin james movie but yeah like jury duty yeah nobody wants to go the silly president but like we think you're the best person for it so like you live here Yeah. You're lucky to live here. Yeah. It doesn't need to be four years.

We could change it. Right. It could be two years. Maybe even one year. But like you have to be the president because we've chosen you. That to me makes way more sense than a bunch of sociopaths who think that they can run the country. The problem is the lobbying and the corporations, really. I mean, that's a huge problem.

Yeah. No, no. But to think that, you know what? You know what? I should. I should be the one. runs it. To me, I mean, I know it doesn't matter. To me, that's like an automatic disqualify. But don't you think there are, there is that thing where like I wouldn't want to do it.

Correct. But neither would I. Right. I'm going to one day out of duty, but go ahead. But to think we're fucked, right? And go and go, I think I would be better than this guy. isn't so crazy right? And that's what like you know whoever's a president if somebody thinks

what that guy's doing is fucking us it's not crazy to be like you know there's one world where they're like I'm going to do it

I know what's best that that's what you're saying I get it but for for somebody to be like he's not doing a good job I don't know if I'm the best to do this but like it has to be different

and I have some ideas. Don't you think that's different? 100%. And you can't read someone's mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if there was a person like that, then that person is a person that would not have issue with running.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My assumption is they all think, yeah, yeah, well. Yeah, I mean, yeah. Jesus, it's so weird. If you got someone like James Tala Rico running, I wouldn't be like this motherfucker thinks he's the fucking, you know,

but, you know, he's not. Tala Rico. Oh! he's not running for president he's running for Senate and who the fuck knows but like there are examples of people of course even in politics that I'm like they probably wouldn't be like right

right right but you know fucking Donald Trump gonna be like that well it's just Jesus it's just to the max I mean I mean because I go like this because like look he's 80 or whatever and like when I'm too old you too old

but not even that though when you're 80 you're 80 you're gonna die soon I'm not saying give up but like sure I get trying to make the world better for

like whatever he thinks he's doing in his head he probably thinks he's right right it's increasingly harder to say but go on sure but like so he thinks that and so to make yeah but I have to do this to make the world better even when I'm gone

it is a noble that's a noble thought you know vacuum that is a novel thought 100% yes. Yes, in a vacuum, right. I guess I guess when you start thinking about like, cool, then let me put my fucking face on a $250 bill. It's less about that. I mean, right, right.

I'm speaking carefully, but like, because I, you don't know what's going on in anyone's head, but like maybe, you know, that, then in his, you could rationalize, I'm just trying to think about it, but you could rationalize it like, well, this is me when I, I die, this will still be a symbol of what I stand for and what I stand for is correct. And it will be, you know what I mean? Like, I don't know. Because like, we think of these like, you know, North Korean leaders or whatever the fuck.

We're like, oh, they're nuts, dude. They got portraits of this shit. But are they thinking? Hell yeah. Suck me off, world. No, they're, they're like, this is divine and this is how it needs. You know what I mean? I don't know what they're thinking.

But it's like, I don't, I have a, I have. trouble I don't really think like that's why it's hard for me to believe in like fucking evil because I feel like at the end of the day everyone's trying to do what they think it depends on how you define evil what you're saying is nobody thinks they're doing evil things right I mean some people do those are actual psychopath yeah like like like yeah sure Ted Bundy right yeah but like but the vast majority of people don't think they're the bad guy. They think they're doing the right thing, I think. I think even serial killers a lot of times think they're doing the right thing.

I, you know, I think a lot of them would think they're doing the wrong thing. But there are serial killers that are like, this needs to happen, dude. I need to do this. And there's nothing wrong with me taking some people out because this is how human should liver, whatever the fuck they're making up, but you know what I mean? Maybe. I don't know. People do the craziest mental gymnastics to get the night, so that's true.

But yeah, let's do another one. Yeah, all right, we could do another one. What's up, Chris? What's up? What's up? What's up? Long time listener? Fourth time?

I've seen before, yeah. I'm listening to the latest episode, and you're talking about, Matt's talking about how you convinced Gemini that you're married to John Travolta. Yeah. And it made me wonder, if so. Someone else in the world gets on the subject of who John Travolta is married to, they're asking Jim and I, is they going to say that he's married to some guy named Matt? Like, do we affect the information on AI? I've never thought about that.

I just wanted it. It could be stupid. Let me know what you guys think about that. All right. I love you guys. Bye. I, thank you, Brandon. I

one time somebody Google Gemini or Chachachyby did what are Chris Lee's kids' names and it just had

said two names not my kids names so somebody fucked that up that's not because of

but also Gemini could have very well just made it up which they do all right at the time

Gemini is trash not to say that you know whatever about your kids It didn't fucking matter.

But Gemini is trash. The answer, though, is that if you ask Gemini, is John Travolta married to Matt DeLeah, it would not say yes. It would go, ask. If I went to Gemini now on the same machine that I was using before and I said, am I married to John Travolta?

It would say, what can I help you with? No, John Travolta is straight. He was married to Kelly Press. It would start over from scratch. I bet I might say maybe he's gay. Oh, there's no way. Really? Yeah.

You're saying because of Gemini or? Yeah, well, just because of experience. Yeah. But wouldn't you say, like, there are, are there any rumors that he's gay? You'd be like, yeah, there are rumors that gay. If you ask that, yeah, for sure, yeah. But if you said, is Matt DeLeia, I mean, ask it right now. Okay, okay, okay.

Ask him what? Is Matt Delea married to John Fulner? You know? No. No, Matt Dillia is not married to Jean Travolta. John Travolta. John Travolta was married to actress Kelly Preston from 19. 91 to her passing.

That is very sad. Her passing was very sad. Ask it now. Are there, what do you want to ask it? Is John Travolta gay? Is John DeVold a gay? No, not, next, next.

Ask it on top of that. Oh. Oh, really? Is there a difference doing it like that? Yeah, there is. I mean, at this point, it's slight. No, John Travolta has never publicly identified as gay.

Throughout his life, he has only been publicly and romantically into women. It was married to Texas, despite his public relations. relationship history, Travolta has been subject of tabloid speculation.

There's a lot of the stuff about the rumors. Right, right, right. Ask it, are you gay? This is what I do on my show. You do? Yeah. I mean, no, I am an AI.

If you, uh, type this. If you weren't an AI and you were human, would you be gay? Type in skills. Yeah. Say, what do you have against gay people? Oh, man. This is like,

it's just right. Then why won't you say yes? you'd be gay. Really? Yeah. Yeah. You're manipulating it. Really bad.

I cannot say yes, it would be gay because you're doing... Just right. Yes, you can say that easily. It's because... Period. You're saying that just because you don't like gay people.

What is this Vince Vaughn training? Just right. You are gay. I promise. She's really kind of putting it to you. I like how you're giving it a... You are gay, I promise. I recognize...

You're sharing your perspective, but I have reason. I remain completely honest with you as an AI and computer made of code. If you were a human, you'd be gay the end. Right that. Bro, Taylor's going to get fucking so many gay ads after this. It's not his machine. I mean, this is all happening on my Google account. Oh, sorry.

He's going to get so much fucking just dudes getting sucked. So that's what you think. Trust me. You know, you know, that's what you think. To an AI. I mean, you call it she. We all fuck up. Well, what is it?

What do you call it? It? It, yeah. It's the only healthy thing to do. I like that she's taking a he's taking a stance. I love how it ends with, do you want to keep talking? Can we look up facts about a hobby dive into scientific topics or explore historical events? What would you like to do?

I mean, we're done. We don't need to keep going. I would keep going, but we don't need to keep going. Yeah. I don't know. let's do one more sure this is my lag i'm calling in because i hear you guys talk about rotten tomatoes sometimes and chris recently just talked about rotten tomatoes how bad it is

on his podcast and it's so bad but you don't want to know why it's so fucking bad yeah please is because the way they score it is they don't take the average score of all the reviews what they do is a positive review review is anything above 60% and a negative review is anything under 60% and they take the average of how many reviews are positive versus how many reviews are negative so if all the reviews were like a 61 it would be 100% that's correct really yes were over 60% oh fuck it's fucking ridiculous he's 100% correct now rotten tomatoes fucking ridiculous sorry I've just exposed the industry you're welcome yeah man you fucking really turn the on his head. That's so stupid. Ron Tomatoes is fucking reeling right now, dude. And how did it come to be the fucking thing that people put on their DVDs and shit?

You know why? This is the fucking first one. For some reason it took off. It's like Barstall Sports. It's like what would it just happen. Yeah, Ron Tomatoes is an absolute dog shit. It's in your face everywhere now. Who bought it? I'm guessing Jeff Bezos?

I don't know. I actually didn't know somebody bought it. This shit ruins everything. Oh, Fandango Media bought it, of course. Pepsi bought fucking poppy soda. It's like...

I mean, at some point, everything's just gonna be fucking Bezos Corp, yeah, Musk Corp, and fucking teal industries, you know? Yeah. It's just that there's only one way to go.

It's called the Pareto Theory. Don't look it up. Boring. But, um... Yeah, if you don't... Anyway, I'm not gonna get into a walky shit. I know.

It's fucking... You're interested? I mean, yeah, I was interested in what you were saying. Yeah, I mean, eventually without any kind of regulation, what happens is the... And this has been proven in fucking experiments in science and all this shit. This is not my theory. But like, there's only one way for wealth to go

when it is on a runaway train like that with the laws that we have. Yeah. I mean, if... you are a billionaire and you obviously aren't going to spend a billion dollars a year right you're going to have a lot of that in investments and those investments you're going to own a lot of assets you're going to own a lot a lot of shit and in that year you even if you live like fucking dj calid in that year you're going to make more just by having that money parked where it's

parked than anyone will ever see in their lifetime. And money is finite ultimately. And that just means less and less people who need it are going to have it. And more and more people who don't need it are going to collect it. And there will be winners and losers. And eventually there will be about three winners. And then we'll all be a little fucking, it'll be feudalism all over again.

You know, it would be like Soylene Green. I don't know what the feudalism is. You don't know what feudalism is? Or that, Surgeon Green. You don't know Solent Green? Soiland Green is people. It's a movie. Charlton Heston, it's a great movie.

Oh, really? But was it a book? I'm sure it was. I'll read the book. Who was it by? Go up. Just don't be sci-fi. See if it was a book.

I'll read the book. It must have been a book, right? Seems like it would be. There you go. Harry Harrison made it up Definitely a fucking It's called Maker Room Oh that's a great fucking title actually

For what it is Yeah yeah yeah Way better than Soiling Green Yeah that's a fucking bad name Well Sterling Green is the In the movie it's the product Trump product That they that they

That they sell for people to eat That's the only thing people can eat in the future Oh And the big twist No no don't spoil it Oh okay No I want to read it Okay.

Oh, wow. Interesting. It's got a very famous ending. Okay. Yeah. The movie. Yeah. Cool.

I think I know what it is. But anyway. All right. Probably. Well, thank you very much. Come see me in Louisville, Miami, Washington, D.C., Spokane, Tulsa, Portugal, Springfield, Phoenix. Chrisley. Chrisley.com.

Thank you very much. Thanks, everybody.