Lifeline - 228. All Roads Lead to Gluck

Episode Date: September 6, 2026

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and actually enjoy economy. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I know you guys don't like when I talked about working out, but. Well, what is it? Way to kick off the show, man. Start the... But if I was ever going to talk about it, yesterday was a crazy day for me. And then today I'm really feeling the benefits and the effects of it. What does that mean?

My legs are sore and I feel really strong and I'm still so happy from yesterday. Yesterday, I was just... I'm so happy from yesterday's workout. Isn't that weird? I've been riding on it. I mean a lot of things, though. I'm way stronger than I have been. I'm I'm I'm squatting the weight that I have always wanted to squat and it's just I did eight reps of 225 and that's what I've always wanted to do something like that.

And when I get to 10 consecutive, like a few times 10 2225, I already in my head have been thinking about how I'm going to celebrate. Yeah. So like when I hit 10 reps, you have to understand. Here, I worked it out. Actually, I have a, let me just actually put it. Let me just tell you about it because I have the actual stats of it, which June 2025, I could do 225 one time. So this was I guess a year, over a year ago, right?

June 2026, I could do 225 times. So that took, I'm sorry, that's July 226. So that's over a year. It took me to get to five, right? So from July to September now, 225, eight times, then 225, seven times. So I did it twice. And I, and I like to shout out this company out, but I think new era, A-I-R-A-N-R-A-Nu-Era.co, use your code, Chris 50, to get,

money off, but I think that they've been, it's been because of a lot of it, it's been because of that, which is crazy. How long have been doing that? Three months. Oh. I feel so awesome right now. This is, you know, I've been thinking about it since yesterday and I can't wait to do legs again. Are you on other drugs like cocaine?

No. Oh. Because I could explain why you feel so good too. No, I'm not. Okay. By the, you know, it is what it is, but I'm just saying. I don't know, man. I feel, I'm really happy.

And it's funny because a lot of shit's going on in my life that isn't great, but I can still understand that it's not going to like take me, you know what I mean? Can you do the separation of the, I feel great about this and all this shit's going. That's hard. That's real hard for me. Sometimes. Yeah, it's hard.

But, yeah, so that's, we're mad. I don't know you don't like when I talk about working out, but man, I love working out. Okay. But you're also talking about being happy, so that's, that makes, well, it, you know, it's like, I don't know, me personally. Well, what makes you happy, though? Like, not, not you specifically, but like, when you're happy, you, what is it, you know? It's like, people say money, people say both things.

Money doesn't buy happiness, but then people also say money makes you happy. So, like, it's somewhere in the middle there, I guess, right? But, like, what makes you happy? I've been thinking about this a lot lately, actually, because I've been thinking, because I've been, yeah yeah I think about all the time I think I look at people who by all rights to my eye should be should be happy have every reason to be happy and they're the most miserable people I know yeah I know know and then you know I see someone who I'm like damn how could that person even smile ever and they're just like the most David Sullivan they're just like the most I don't know yeah it's

everybody's different but everybody's a different brain uh there's people Have you heard of this? Have I talked about this? No? Yeah. It's, oh, I have talked about it. Oh, I don't know, but I've heard of it.

Oh, you've heard of it, yeah. Yeah, it's like, it's like an inability to really fall into even like a streak of depression. I mean, the most jealous. I can't hear anything because Taylor's moving so fucking much. Oh, dude. See?

Yeah, that's annoying. If I were hearing that, that'd be annoying. I knew somebody was on cocaine. Okay. I mean. Did you, If it's not important that I heard that. No, that's fine.

What does the cocaine thing have to do with anything? Moving around a lot. Oh, I asked if you were on cocaine. Uh-huh. And then I made a joke about Taylor being on cocaine because he can't stop moving. But I don't get how that was a joke about him being on cocaine. Gunna absolutely crushed my skull.

What are you confused about it? I'm sorry. I actually don't understand what you're confused. You said, I know somebody that's been on cocaine a lot. That's what you said? And that's the joke? I knew someone. one was on cocaine is what I said. Now I get it. I just heard you. Okay. All right. Anyway, dude, I don't,

you know, let's, let's figure out this episode. I, I, you know, we don't have to talk about working out. We don't have to talk about cocaine. But the thing is, uh, I'm happy. I'm happy to get a good sleep. And good sleep is a, if you're getting good sleep and you're eating well, I ate, but I ate so much ice cream last night. I mean, you know, I did. I did. I almost texted a picture of what I ate to you guys. You do that all the time. I know, but I almost did it and I didn't do it. And it was chocolate ice cream and then I dipped into the Rocky Road. I dipped into it. And I don't even, I'm not even really a Rocky Road guy at all, to be honest. But I ate the whole pint of the chocolate stuff and then I dipped into the Rocky Road. I did. Dipped or like dove? I dove. I dove.

You dove. Yeah, I dove into that. I could say, I tell by the way you said dip that. So, yeah. So I did do that. Anyway, episode 228, it's Sunday, September 6. Happy birthday to Idra's Elba, my favorite DJ, Rosie Perez and Roger Waters. What a trio. Yeah. Okay. And I'm going to be in Phoenix. I'm going to be in, wow, is that already coming up?

Yeah, Phoenix is coming up. Birmingham, Alabama, Alfred of Georgia, Buffalo, New York, Paris, France, oh, man, I got to Paris, Dorssel in Oslo, Berlin, Germany, Brussels. Look how we're doing it. So go to chrysley.com. I also just added Tampa in Florida. That's so many Europeans. I know it's going to be a lot of work.

You'll be in Springfield tonight. I mean, Springfield tonight. That's right. That's right. I do have a Springfield show tonight. Yes. On a Sunday. Springfield, what state?

Missouri. Yeah, I know. Every year. Yeah, every. You got a special. Springfield everywhere. Subscribe to our Patreon, lifeline luxury.

Patreon.com slash Lifeline luxury where we don't take submissions. It's just bant us sick in it between brothers. And we watch Fall and so we'll be talking about it. I want to apologize, by the way, for the timing. This is my fault. Oh, here we go. Here we go. Well, I told people to watch Fallen and then we were going to talk about it on the next luxury.

But now, like, there's two bonus episodes that are coming out before we even get to the point where we're talking about. Oh, dude. Bad time. He scheduled it like he was honestly Helen Keller. Yeah, he scheduled it like he was, like, just like rolling out. He didn't know. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

So whatever. We'll... Forgive himself. Whatever. Saying it going easy on himself. Yeah. We're gonna... Trying to convince us to go easy on him.

For the next movie club, we'll get this right. For Fallen, you're gonna have to wait like at least another week before we're talking about on luxury. Fucking breadcrum. All right. Really making them wait for how we feel about falling. So if you want to sign up now, you know, you still get involved. You get a little runway. Yeah.

I mean, I'm super stoked to talk about falling. Okay. I feel like it's going to be really anticlimactic because... No, it's not. Not when you hear what I got to say about it. Okay. I'm telling you, dude. Chris didn't even finish it, so.

Oh, I could try to... Well, we'll talk about it on the... Yeah, dude. Come on. With the spoilers, spoilers, spoiling. It's not that I didn't finish it, even though that is part of it, but yeah. So anyway. Subscribe to this channel, super good on YouTube.

Subscribe to my Patreon. Patreon.com slash Matt DeLea. Speaking of my Patreon, we've mentioned him. He's submitted here before. his name's Parker. He's, he's now in the writer's room of my Patreon, which is sick.

Shout out to Parker. Shout out to Parker. Double for getting me this shirt, dude. Look at this. That is a cool, yeah, that's really close. Yeah,

it's a really close shirt. Also, it's top three favorite movie of mine. Did it come out back then or is it newer? I wonder. It looks a little new. It feels not like,

you can tell when it's like a new thing, like when it's like, what do you call it? Like, red bubble or whatever. I'm saying it feels new. No. No. You're saying it doesn't.

Doesn't feel new. Okay. Anyway. Yeah. So, and, uh, you know, kids are sick today. They woke up. I'll tell you what. That, that, that, that, that,

Billy's three, you know, he was sick for two days and then just not sick the next day. It's unbelievable. You put in a bed with a runny nose, wake up, he's fine. Because, you know, part of it is that baby immune system. But, yeah. Yeah, it was insane. It's insane. Like little kids will have like a big cut.

Yeah. They're like war. Yeah, but in the morning when they're two and by the end of the day, it's literally there's nothing there. I know. It's insane to see. And then I came down today and Billy was eating mouthful of muffin and he says, I ain't two. And he just always says two, one, two. And I was like, okay, all right.

By the way, he ate three before bed last night. So that's all he eats. So great. The kid's a muffin boy Muffin man That's good What kind of muffins Banana

I don't know Banana something You know He wants me to get off his back So hard about it Yeah it's just like Leave it alone But dude

It's so funny When he goes in And just grabs a muffin And eats it himself Like dude Dad From the From the bedroom

Yeah I'm sleeping It's still like eight You know Dad Yeah his poop on the floor okay

two okay I'll be in a little bit 15 minutes later dad yeah I took my diaper off okay

I'm from New York you know I'll be right in I'll go in there's dog poop on the floor and his diaper's on and I said hey your diapers on he said

yeah, I fixed it. I was like, oh, it's just crazy watching them become a capable person. You know? Crazy, dude. Yeah. They watched that brain rot shit, though. On YouTube, you know, just like brain rot. I'm like, can you put on something with a story?

Oh, they watched, yeah, they watched like, did they watch like people playing game? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is that? I don't understand that. That's huge. That's the new channel. Two through 11 for kids. Remember when you were a kid, you just turn on a TV, you watch that.

Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is watching people play video games, watching people react to things. That's the new thing for kids. The reaction, yeah. Or watching like knives cut sand and shit. Totally. Brain rot, really.

I mean. Yeah, that's so weird. But it gets worse than that. At least that's like kind of interesting. Well, it's like soothing. Satisfying, right. They'll watch like, Exhibit toilet.

Yeah, exactly. Or the Italian one. Yeah, Italian brain rot. Jeez, man. So, but anyway, do you want to do a submission or what? Yeah, let's do it. Two and five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters.

On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family. to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca.ca. New from Nespresso. Blend wellness into your coffee routine with a coffee plus range, infused with functional benefits. Choose the coffee you love with added B vitamins, like coffee plus B12 to help support immune function,

and coffee plus B6 to keep your day moving. Or go with the flow and choose ginseng delight. Our new double espresso with ginseng extract. Whatever lies ahead, don't change your morning. Let your morning change you. Discover Coffee Plus on espresso.com. You gotta try breakfast. You gotta try your dog with.

And what better way than with a delicious pre-organic coffee? Starting with just $1 all day, every day now until December 31st. You gotta try breakfast. at participating A&W locations in Ontario. Hey, I just wanted to know what are some signs that a guy is DL. Whoa, whoa, gay?

Sorry. That a guy's DL? That a guy's DL. He's gay, secretly gay. It's a crazy submission. Why didn't she just take it one more time when there wasn't a guy speaking about in the background? Not even eight seconds.

She's probably doing it to piss him off, you know, because he's like, right, right, right, right, right. I mean, dude, I'm not the right guy to ask, honestly, because I think that kind of everything is. You know, if you think hard enough, I think you could kind of make somebody gay with your mind. Oh, you're Professor X? What are you talking about? Yeah, kind of. Like, once you're starting noticing too many things about a guy and you're like, is he gay?

I think he's gay. I think it's because you noticed it and, you know, he's kind of. Because some dudes are like, I don't know, it depends on the, actually, it depends on the guy. But if he's like, like, I can tell you right now, dude. And I mean this. I'm 46. I'm not gay. No, I'm not.

I'm not. All right, dude. One time there was a guy. guy, I was hanging out. No, no, no. And he said, so I was in a conversation with two guys, all right? Dude, he was turned in two. You know?

And they were talking about gay stuff, okay? And one of the guys said, yeah, well, you're gay to the other guy, okay? And the other guy said, nah, nah, no, my. He was Australian. I'm not gay. and I go Oh wow And I said

You said that very Like You know You put a button on that Like why Yeah definitively Like what do you mean He says

It's because I know For a fact I'm not guy Oh wait I think Yeah I've told you this before And I said

What do you mean? He says Try it at once Not for me And Honestly I respect that You know

look you could argue it's gay to even try it and and it is but you know if you try it and you go i mean there's a certain kind of open mind that if you're like yeah yeah i i don't know myself sure maybe yeah there's so much going on underneath maybe i'm gay let me see but if there's so much going on underneath and you don't know about it you're probably gay you know what i mean but but but but but so he did not for him yeah i i but then i but also that's kind of gay to try it. If we're talking about the actor, the action is of course gay. If a man fucks a man or a woman fucks a woman.

Or even if he sucks a guys. Like that is a gay act. Yeah. But even H.J. This is a unique situation. This Australia guy. Yes, I know. There is a world where he's not gay.

I think that's this world. If you believe him, yeah. I think it's more probable. Okay. when the percentage is higher if a guy does that that he does it then feels shame

and represses his gayness rather than realizing he's actually not gay I think that you know what I'm saying right I do do you think a guy like that would be so like like so ready to be like not me dude

like you know I'm talking about like I feel like if the shame was there they'd be like I'm never talking about this ever again yeah true true true But that guy was like, no, no, no, no, no. It depends, though. I've got proof. If he's tricking himself, though, you know, then he doesn't know. I think that, because here's the thing, I'm not, I'm not gay.

I've never had a gay experience. Bet! I don't, I don't even want to a little bit. Bet! And sometimes I'm like, man, is that just, am I so, I guess, sometimes I'm like, because I like to think that it's a spectrum, right? Kinsey style. I do think, I do kind of think that, right? But then I'm like, what am I just on, so on that end of the spectrum?

That it's just, I just zero gay ideas, zero gay thoughts. I mean, you know what I'm saying? I guess the answer would be yes. Because I think, unless you're lying yourself. Because it's hard for me to, but I'm open to be lying. I'm open to that. No, I know you're not. Yeah, yeah.

But I'm open to that. I'm open to that. Look, if I'm lying to myself, okay, that's not a big deal. Like, what's the deal? Well, what do you know anyway? You're lying. So, like, my point is, I think almost everyone is on that not far, far, far end of the spectrum. You know, like even if you're here, you're a little gayer.

So the Kinsey scale, let's just use it. Controversial figure, whatever. Let's just use it. Say it's one and he goes, ha, in the movie. Quarterback. Does he really? They go, how fast can you orgasm? He goes, oh, oh, wow.

Quarterback, wow So you're saying You believe Even though I don't know if one is one I don't know which is Let's say you're six or whatever Yeah say someone is six

You're the furthest on one end You think most people Are somewhere in the middle Yes Or yeah Or really Yeah well that's You know

Yeah I do yeah I do I do I do I think you can easily, you know, have given the amount of time, the amount of loneliness, the amount of, you know, not with women. I think that, yeah, I think most men would be, would, would try it, you know. And look, you can say, okay, in prison, it's not gay. You're not gay. You're just trying to, but, you know, that's gay.

I mean, that's a whole other category. I understand. I understand. But I'm just saying so my point is on the DL is like is someone who is almost at that level. He's not on the DL. But he is more than a guy who's further. So it's like I think kind of anybody's gay almost. Almost anyone's gay.

Almost anyone's gay. Yeah, a little bit. trying to make sense of that if it's a scale it's very rare for a person to be on either side right do you think she's asking

how do you tell if a guy's like fronting and pretending he's straight and knows he's gay and is hiding the fact that he's gay well on the deep yeah well so on the download means he is gay but he pretends he's not

and he sucks dicks and stuff but he says I mean, I've known women who were dating men and found out they were gay from because like they got caught having sex with men. Same. I dated a woman once for a year and she, her boyfriend before me, she found out that he had been like going in the bathrooms and fucking dudes and stuff and sucking him and all that stuff, right?

Like random, like cruising style. Yeah, I think so. Really? Yeah. My memory serves me correct, right? So she had a whole thing where it was like trauma for her and she would be like on the lookout for if I was gay What would she be looking for? She would just be like it was it was rare, but there were times where she was like I don't know, I just feel like you're you know, are you hiding something?

And I'm like, dude, I'm not going into bathrooms. You know what I mean? Yeah, when someone's yeah. And I never, I never cheated on her with a woman even. and like oh i i remember yeah i remember this yeah and so it was weird but like that was that guy was on the deal for sure yeah well that's the definition of being on the deal but how do you tell what are the signs dude i mean lip gloss pukashel's i don't know frosted tips is there a like a tell you got to catch them fucking being gay well yeah because like i know guys that's that to me

I'm like, oh, that's a gay guy. Like, I'll meet someone. I'll be introduced to someone. And I'll be like, oh, I just met a gay guy, whatever, he's gay. And then I'll be talking about him later to another person and I'll be under the assumption that he's gay. And my friend will be like, oh, no, that dude is not gay. Really? That happens?

Yeah. And I'm like, no, no, I know a gay guy when I see him. So I would say that guy is gay. But I now know him, this is one specific case I'm thinking of, I know him pretty well. Well, he is absolutely not gay. Well, so like. I think he is. I mean, I don't even know he's talking about it.

I think he's on the deal. Yeah. Yeah. Which is why I think I'm right. But yeah, there are clues. He's not open about things. He's not telling you about certain things. You know, maybe he was on a, where was he for this week?

You know what I mean? You're like, where were you? And he was like, oh, I was just busy. All right. But if happens again, it's like for sure you were sucking a guy off. I mean, that could be a sign of a few things, though. True. I was just busy.

It could be, he-hooing with other women, other women's, you know? Guy could be an assassin for all you know. Yeah, exactly. Gay assassin, honestly. Yeah. Fuck yeah. I want to fuck him and then kill him like that. Oh.

I mean, you know, Jeffrey Dahmer. I mean, if you're going to be fucking breaking a law, just break all of them laws, you know, you might as well. I guess. I mean, unless it's just jaywalking. You're not going to jaywalk and then also kill someone because you get much more trouble doing both of those than just gay walking. But anyway, next one. Gay walking.

That was a great slip. Did I slip? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, gay walking. Gay walking. Yeah, I don't know. I don't think there's a way to tell.

And I don't. There is. I think. I don't, I don't. She knows. I don't think it's, it's a good idea in general. I don't know her situation. But I don't think it's a good idea for a woman to be like he, like, I think, he's gay.

Because of this sign or that sign or this sign. He's gay. Like there should be like a concrete thing that makes you think that. Sure. Is what I'm saying. What? It's got. Yeah, well, that's one concrete sign.

Yeah. Oh, he went, oh. And there were only two guys in that room. Right. If that happens, then if you look at this, case closed. If you see your friend in, if your friend goes like, you know, I got to talk to you for a second to another guy friend and they go in another room and you're outside the door and you hear, they're both on the DL or at least. Yeah.

I mean, that's not so DL, but yeah. Right. anyway so anyway just kind of being gay in a different room yeah yeah yeah yeah we're doing it oh no

hey Chris and hey Matt uh oh um I guess I had a question kind of a life advice question how do you like um keep from like when

so every time I'm I get to the next level physically or um artistically there's this feeling I have of like I'm leaving my friends behind And I don't want, I hate that, you know, I don't want to look down on anybody.

I've never been that kind of guy. And a lot of times I find myself checking myself, governing myself, and keeping my, like, what I can actually do to myself and not actually going all out. So stand-up, for example. I'm not, like, I find myself using B material or, you know, I don't know, a stupid thing, but like any kind of a sport. I let the other person win, right? So my question to you guys is, is there something that I can say to myself in the morning? Is there a mantra that I can say to myself

that will help me, like, empower myself? How do I empower myself? And how do I develop the courage to leave everybody behind and know that I'm setting an example and not leaving them behind, I guess? Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah.

Gotta be brave. Thanks. And great show, man. I haven't had a chance to listen to it, but I see clips sometimes. And it seems like you guys are having a great time. And I'd love to come on. I'd have to find time. I mean, he was on it.

But I would love, I'll talk to Chris about maybe 2027 is, we would figure something out. Was on it already. I miss you guys. Dude, I mean, I haven't seen him in so long. Nothing has, nothing has ever been more Brian Kalin in that video, honestly. Right down to the mantra. Like, he's so annoying. But I don't know, man.

What do you think? I think, yeah. Something comes to mind where it is great that if a guy actually thinks that about himself, it's phenomenal. If somebody thinks, like, I don't leave my friends behind, so I'm not going to be doing my A shit. So that if you don't like me, my stuff. It's because I'm really not doing it on my full potential on purpose. You're saying that's a good thing? No, that's hilarious.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, that's actually also something no one in the world does, for real. I mean, I don't know. On the regular, like, that's how they operate in life. They're like, I'm so good at stuff. People's, our brains are fucking great. I'm so good at stuff. I'm going to hold back on everything I do.

Like, they're the only adult and everyone else is four. I mean, isn't that kind of what Jesus does? Oh, Jesus is not Jesus kind of did that He doesn't like You know, he doesn't like tell you what to do He leaves it up to yourself But he knows what to do

And he should just tell us He pretty much did No, you know There's a big book about that Which one? No, no But it's like, it's like Oh, you'll find the way

God may not show you that The way but you know I see what you're saying You'll figure it up Trust Yeah, exactly trust God. Yeah.

And you're like, all right. You know what I mean? Like, or whatever it is, whatever your thing is. Okay. Back to that, you know. Woo! And then, you know. Yeah, I think for Brian.

All roads lead to. Yeah. Yeah, as they say. Yeah. That's in the Bible, actually. I don't know. I think, Brian, you should just look yourself in the mirror. All roads lead to all the go.

So what? I just think Brian should look himself in the eye once and clearly state it's okay to be the very best. I think he should look into the mirror and say every morning, I am a failure. Well, that would be the truth. And then see how many tears come to Brim on his bottom. What do you call it? Islet? Ilet, yeah.

I think he's a good guy, though, and he'll figure. out. But, you know, just keep going. And he's young. He's young. He's not even, he'll be 60 next year, you know, so it's like, is he not 60 yet? No, he's 59. Really? I mean, he looks at least 63 to me. Well, that's rude, but yeah. I think that he, uh, and it's crazy how funny he is, but anyway. No, he's been the exact same way this is the damn end. It's really crazy. Yeah, just no evolve. No evolution. I remember the first time I made him laugh. Not cute? That's pretty cute actually, yeah.

Yeah. Because I was a coming up kind of open micer, and I had seen him a few times, and I remember. Oh, that makes sense. Yeah, and I was like, oh, man, that's cool. Isn't that weird? No, no, now that you put it that way.

Well, it's not weird, but I, you know, it's cute. It is cute, yeah. Grun men can be cute just like anybody else. That's how they say. That's what, then what does that they do? Oh. Right. That's my mantra.

Yeah. Growing men can be cute just like everybody else. Yeah, okay. Two and five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer.

Register today at pmcfwalk.ca.ca. New from Nespresso. Blend wellness into your coffee routine with a coffee plus range, infused with functional benefits. Choose the coffee you love with added B vitamins, like coffee plus B12 to help support immune function, and coffee plus B6 to keep your day moving.

Or go with the flow and choose ginseng delight. Our new double espresso with ginseng extract. Whatever lies ahead, don't change your morning. Let your morning. change you. Discover Coffee Plus on Nespresso.com You gotta try breakfast at A&W.

You gotta try FLEAW. And what better way than with a delicious Pratt organic coffee? Starting with just $1 all day, every day now until December 31st. You gotta try breakfast at A&W. At participating A&W locations in Ontario.

Hello, gentlemen. Didn't she do one? This is my second time calling in. My name is Tara in case you forgot me. So sultry. I am calling today because I would love some dating advice from you guys. I am ready for love. My heart is ready for a connection.

He-he. And I just don't really have much experience with relationships. I have, you know, I grew up quite sheltered. And I've also just in the past been a bit shy. So it just hasn't happened for me for various. other reasons as well. And I don't really have trouble getting asked out or getting dates, bragging, but my concerns more so land in the realm of intimacy. I don't know. And I'm afraid of feeling pressured to be physical with someone when I don't feel ready to do that with them yet because

I can't even bring myself to desire someone like that if I don't have an emotional connection with them. And inversely, I am afraid of, you know, getting to the point where I do have feelings for someone and then we are intimate and then they're like, all right, got what I wanted, bye. So I don't know if there are ways to prevent that. I feel like as long as I'm straightforward and honest about the way I am and they respect that, it should be fine. But, yeah, I don't know.

Do you have any advice as men that you would give to a young shlady? who's trying to navigate the dating world in 2026. Like if I were a younger sister or a younger cousin, what kind of advice would you give to me about dating? Yeah, that's it. Thank you guys. Love you. Bye.

It kind of depends how old she is. I can't really tell how old she is. She like mid-20s? Mid-20s? Because if it's 27 maybe? Because if it's later than that, which I don't think she is, but I would definitely say she's just thinking about it too much.

And I probably would still even say that. You know, you're putting too much pressure on yourself. Yeah, that I would like. Like you can like someone and not sleep with them and that's fine. And if you're doing the wait till we get emotional connection. And if a guy then sleeps with you after you feel comfortable like that and then leaves you because he got what he wanted, that guy is a fucking asshole. Okay.

So you're still you. Especially if you've been up front of that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. But you're still you. And then a thing that happened to you wasn't ideal and you move on. And yeah, maybe you're hurt a little bit or maybe you're hurt a lot.

But you still value what you value and you live and learn. I think there's a, you know, There's a short, I don't want to see shortcoming, but there's a thing that you're doing that you might be keeping things at bay or at arm's length when you could be enjoying an actual time with someone. And I don't even mean a relationship. I mean, maybe I do or you say you're ready for love or that's it. But you don't want to get to a point where you're just closing off and thinking too hard. And, and, you know, am I doing the right thing? I don't want to get hurt because then you're taking possibilities and you're just.

right away, poo-pooing them. And that's not good for you. I mean, my guess is you've, you, because of your, I don't know, she used the word shelter, let's stick with that. Up to this point, existence in this regard, I think you've probably heard a lot of stories about the way men have treated women or your friends maybe or whatever. and while all of those may be true every single one of them like there are so many possible outcomes and a lot of them are in the middle yeah and like a lot of times you'll go on a date and be like both of you will be like oh that was whatever yeah and then another one like a guy will be like really clearly trying to do the the Humpty dance and you're just like well that ain't for me and that that that's that yeah and then there's the pressure that you're um i don't want to say afraid of but like you know afraid of dealing

with is not going to be that hard i just going to be like i'm out of here like this is not for me either you know i mean um but you know if you think you're ready the only thing stopping yourself at this point now is trying yeah just go have coffee a few times like i like go to dinner or a movie or some shit. You don't need to, like, if the guys like come over, well, then obviously don't go over. Yes. Um, because that's what he wants. But if he's, you know, if you're like, you know, let's have a coffee and you fucking chill and you start having fun, you have a good time and you have emotional connection and then you end up sleeping together and then that could become fucking amazing. Or the guy could be a complete fucking piece of shit and be like, hell yeah, I was tricking her the

whole time. But either way, that's an experience you need to have. you know it's like I'm not say you got to thank him for it if he's a dick but like you you you know you you live and learn and you're still you yeah I think you're too on the line of being protective yeah the level just like it's like exposure therapy like the less you do the thing you that you're afraid of the less prepared to be to try it and so it's like you You know what I mean? Just like be, I mean, obviously you're not going to have a problem like out in the world with men want to go on a date with you. Right. Get a coffee with you, whatever.

But yeah, you seem to be overthinking it, which makes sense. But the way to stop overthinking it is to actually just start doing it. That's why it made me think that she was younger though. Like she could be 22. And if that's if that's the case, then. you know, she's just kind of being young about it and like thinking, oh, I don't know, you have to have life experience to understand also what people are like, not to say that, you know, you could also be very advanced at 22, but the things that what she's saying

makes it seem like she, yeah, she was sheltered and she needs to live a little. Look, she said it herself. You know, if she grew up sheltered, you got to break that. Otherwise, you're never going to realize life's fullest potential. Yeah, dude. Fuck yeah, man. And in a lot of ways, I am a life coach. Interesting.

But she'll figure it out. She's definitely got no shortage of suitors. I mean, she's cute and stuff. So it'll all work out. Just, you know, I would say don't be an idiot, but I don't think you are. Shout out to my Patreon. She's a member, too. I remember, did she change her hair color?

No, I don't think so. Was that what she was last time? I just vaguely recognize her. Anyway, all right. Yeah, what's good, Chris? What's good, Matt? My name's Baz and Chris, if you remember, we actually met at the Lisbon Airport this morning. Oh, yeah. Awesome opportunity to speak with you. I'm a huge fan. You're one of my favorite comics. You actually inspire me to originally get into comedy, which I'm trying right now. So thank you for the talk. Yeah, dude. I was in Lisbon with some friends traveling. And here's the submission. Okay. So last night we're getting dinner. A lot of people in our group had stumbled. I had stumbled.

issues. So a lot of people didn't order food. When the waiter asked me what I wanted, I said, meat skewers and the guy next to me didn't get anything. So the waiter goes, are they, the skewers for you to share? And I said yes, because why would it matter? Sure. So when you brought out the food, he brought out a meat platter instead of meat skewers. Okay. Meat skewers, 14 euros. Meat platter, 50 euros. Oh my God. He didn't order meat platter. I'm pissed. Um, so I'm, I'm arguing. arguing with the waiter trying to not pay for it. He makes us pay for it.

A lot of European friends we were with said it was just a miscommunication. Sure it was. He's not trying to take advantage of us, but I firmly disagree on this, I think. Why are you giving me something I didn't order? Yeah. So a lot of people in my group were kind of angry at me for being angry at the waiter. There's just a lot of tension floating around. I am in them right here because, of course, but I'm curious to see.

how you fall on this situation on one giving me more food that I ordered trying to get money out of me and two me being angry about it. Yeah. Love to get your thoughts. Thanks guys. So that's great.

I remember him. Nice dude actually was kind of hooked me up. He let me cut in line a little bit. I was going to miss my flight. So shout out to him. Thank you for that. That's the guy?

Yeah. Isn't that funny? No shit. Isn't that funny? I talked about congratulations. But, I wasn't there, but I think that I, so I don't think the waiter did it on purpose to get more money. I agree with that.

You do? Okay. Here's what I do think, though. If the discrepancy is fucking 35 euros, the waiter has to be more clear about that. Because sometimes it's like if you say, I understand that is it. to share can be a different order. I do understand that. If a waiter says, is it for you or is it to share?

I understand that in my head, I might do what he did and be like, yeah, who cares? Because maybe they'll have some of mine. Right? But the waiter should know that that guy might do that. Right? The waiter, what had to happen is the waiter should have said, do you want the portion for the single portion or do you want it for the table? The portion for the table? Because then you would know it was two different orders.

You don't just, in that situation, the waiter doesn't just say, you're going to share? Because then he, then it, it's a miscommunication because the waiter wasn't clear. And I agree. And I'm on this guy's side. However, I don't think that the guy, the waiter did it to be sneaky. I just think that he didn't say it right. And, and I think that because of that, he shouldn't be on the hook to pay for it. No, I agree with all that.

But think about this, though. It's kind of like him saying, uh, I'm going to get, like, let me get a burger. And the guy next to you doesn't order anything. And the waiter says, are you guys going to share the burger? And then the guy brings out two burgers. Yeah. That's crazy. No, that's crazy, yes.

So where, like, it's somewhere in the middle here, obviously, because there's like a meat platter and a meat, whatever, skewer plate. But, like, to me, that leap, that the waiter made is crazy. Yeah. But there are, yes, I agree with you. I think it was wrong. But there are restaurants that if you're going to share,

you have to get the bigger one. Like, they don't let you share. There are restaurants who's like, you know, if there's three of you, you know what I'm saying? No. No? Maybe not. I mean,

maybe I'm, I think it's crazy that, that, that, the waiter did was wrong. It's such a massive price difference. Yeah, especially 35 is,

is, is crazy. Yeah, I mean, that's three times the amount. It's, yeah, no,

that's not right. I, I, that's, how'd they get them to pay for it? Because I'd have been like, fuck you. I mean,

I wouldn't have dealt with, I don't know how that works when you're like, I'm not paying for something and some, they're like, yes, you are like,

I bet if you talk to a manager, you would have got that shit. That doesn't make sense. Although if it was in Europe, who knows? It could have been like, well, this is what I, where my mind ends up, like, wherever they were, there was some clear, like, kind of speaking thing happened. Yeah, it could have been. That was misunderstood. Yeah, English is the second language. You know what I mean? If this happened in Boulder, Colorado, then the waiter is 100,000% in the wrong. If this happened in some country where, like, there's a manner of speaking where some i mean they all speak english but yeah you know i'm talking

yes yes it's a second language yes and and and i would give them more leeway just because of that but still are you going to share your order with someone doesn't mean i want a different thing yeah and that's just the bottom bottomist bottom line yeah yeah now about his anger don't be that mad about it. Yeah, that is for sure something that is not right to be angry about it. Still. That hard. Yeah. Yeah. Like you're still mad about it. What are you going to say? I went, I went out to eat a couple of weeks ago, um, for a friend's birthday. There was like 10 of us. A nice restaurant. Finish our dinner, finishing our drinks. The waiter comes up and it's like, how's everything? Would you guys like another round? We say yes. And they bring out all of the

entrees again. No. Yeah. What? that's like a practical joke what real yeah no so what'd you do in this country yeah on this planet wait what did how did you guys like

what okay hold that when we sent it all back of course yeah had that go was it a topas place at least no no no it was like a regular just a big another whole chicken just another order of each thing there you go another bowl of spaghetti and meatballs

for you for just you. That's not a round? In what world is that another round? Also, who asks that? And it means that. And no, who asks that ever? Oh, whoever wants a whole

Yeah, I mean, I do. Does the whole table want their meal all over again? That's not some, that's not even something. Would you like guys like to stay for breakfast? We think he's talking about another round of drinks, of course. Of course. I mean, I don't drink and I think, and I, and I know that. Who,

He's the only person, I think, that would... You know what? I'll tell you what. I don't drink. If I ate, even at a tapas place and only had like a really small thing of tapas. And the guy came back and said, want another round? I would still think he was talking about a club soda or whatever I was drinking. Yeah.

Not... I mean, that's crazy, bro. Yeah, I mean, what did the people... What did the waiters... What happened? Yeah, how to go, how to play out. Uh, we like sent everything back obviously. And then the manager, who was my friend's dad, came up and gave us the bill and apologized. And all of the food wasn't on the bill. And I thought he was like, that was a huge mistake. I'm going to hook you up. And you guys just have to pay for your drinks. And so everybody leaves. You know, we say thank you. I'm like, I hug him. And I'm like, thank you so much for that. That was like so incredibly nice. Me and my friends stay to get another drink because we're like, whoa. We saved all this money.

Right. And then our waiter who fucked it all up came and found me at the bar and was like, I forgot to put y'all's food on the tab. And so I ended up having to pay for like 10 people's food. Oh. Wait. What a fuck up. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

This is the most shitty waiter on the planet. A fuck up. The world's worst waiter. Honestly, you should have just said this as soon as we started the show. This is so crazy. This is crazy. I mean, I feel stupid for like hugging my friend's dad being like, this is the nicest thing.

Yeah. And he was like, yeah, man. I was like, yeah, it was a mistake, man. It's just, why don't you chill, dude. Are you on the deal?

I mean, I probably didn't even already meant. It was just like appreciating the service. Yeah, yeah. This whole thing is hilarious. Terrible time. Wait, hold on. How does a waiter forget to put all the food on a check?

That's, that's, I think when they went to take off the second round of food, she, I get that, but then you see the amount and you go, ah, clearly, there's $900 not accounted for. Yeah. Ah, oh, dude, these 10 guys didn't just order $40 worth of food. Yeah, I mean, this person is that's, this person is not.

In the wrong line of work. And I don't know what the right line of work would be. There would be a manual. With that brain. That, that's. that is that is that's the kind of thing where you go back to the kitchen and in the cook or the chef or whatever is like wait they want it they want their meals again double check they all want their meals again every single one of them wants their same thing they just and then and then the and the chef's like you ask them if they want another round right right right and he's like I asked him he's like all right dude that's so that is so strange people are so weird man I can't I don't I mean

Yeah that's a really strange one I don't even know What What do you You know what's fucked up Is that waiter Or wakes up The next morning

And they just don't think about it You know Fuck that They gotta be like I want them to be like Man I fucked up last night But they're probably all just like Those fucking guys

You know what I mean And then And I thought the fucking shit was free Yeah right I just forgot to do the thing Fuck them. Thank God the guy stayed. That guy was the biggest dick anyway.

On the DL too. He tried to hug the fucking. Yeah. What a fucking gay guy. And then they go back to the job and then they're just dumb about it again. Want another round? Or wait. Are we good here or do we want another round?

Everyone in the world. Coming out later? Everyone in the world knows what another round means. By the way, what did you order? What was the thing you had to eat? I got like steak freets or something. And they gave you another steak frieze? That's the most filling meal there is. Another round, dude.

Dude, I believe you, but if I didn't know you, I would think he was lying, right? If I didn't know you like I know you, I'd be like, that didn't happen. It's hard to believe, but yeah, I mean, obviously I do believe you. But like, it's so stupid. That's true, but... No, Maka would be the waiter. Right. Right.

Crazy stuff happens to him like it happens to me. I mean, clearly. That... Oh, wow. I wouldn't be able to let the go. Oh, that'd be like a dog with a bone. If that happened to me, I would have to... I would be talking to the waiter.

I'd be like, what happened here? Yeah, you'd spend 45 minutes. They'd be like, are you a fucking journalist? And I'm like, I have to get to the bottom. it. And then Robert Patton said will play me in a movie about it. Nice. Two and five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of

life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcf walk.ca.ca. New from Nespresso. Blend wellness into your coffee routine with a coffee plus range, infused with functional benefits. Choose the coffee you love with added B vitamins, like coffee plus B12 to help support immune function, and coffee plus B6 to keep your day moving. Or go with the flow and choose ginseng delight. Our new double espresso with ginseng extract. Whatever lies ahead, don't change your morning. Let your mind. morning change you. Discover

Coffee Plus on espresso.com. You gotta try breakfast at A&W. You gotta try to W. And what better way than with a delicious Pratt organic coffee? Starting with just $1 all day, every day now until December 31st.

You gotta try breakfast at A&W. At participating A&W locations in Ontario. Matt and Chris, I'm out mowing my lawn and it reminded me of the time like four or five years ago. Oh my God, like five years ago that I sent a submission to you guys trying to explain what sub-bitch means to someone I really cared about. And my example was like when you finish the lawn mowing at the end, you're doing a little, uh-uh. And I was like, and that's a bitch. But I'm mowing the lawn today, and I thought of another sub-bitch.

Y'all don't do any more if I, you're over it. But it comes up, you know? Yeah, it does, of course. Like a bit. No, I like it. Isn't it so sub-bitch when you say actually? Oh, wow. This guy's loving.

Actually? Has that been done before? Because so-sabitch to say actually. And last thing. I submitted a video a few months back. And it was a really personal question that I want to ask you guys. And I was coming home from a wedding that I went to. So please look it up.

Matt even said for me to send it in. So I love it if y'all take a look at it and give me your feedback. Love you guys. Oh, he has never killed an animal, but has choked them and brought them back to life like fucking 10 times. And just because he wants to see in their eyes, like, oh, oh. No. And then he lets him go. And he goes, okay, buddy. And then he laughs like he did when he said the actually thing. Actually?

Dude. By the way, that guy's hilarious. So, uh, well, okay. I mean, there's a component of sub-bitchness with the fucking actually. But I wouldn't say it's a bitch. If you are doing it that way. Like if you're like, actually, then yeah. But not just saying actually. It's not sub-bitch. Also, you never have to say so-sabitch. It's just sub-bitch. So let's clear that up right away. Yeah, there are ways to say something is extremely sub-bitch, but it's redundant to say so-sabitch. Yes, dude.

And it also doesn't sound good. Yeah, which is the real bottom line. Yeah. Also, he's the greatest beard. I mean, every whisker was accounted for. accounted for. Yeah, every whisker was accounted for with their, uh, with the follicle that comes out of it. Like there was zero wasted follicles, as I guess is what I'm saying.

Zero wasted hair spores, whatever they're called. So he had more hair per capita on that beard. I mean, his beard was basically, you know those, those fucking how, uh, Japanese people use subways and these fucking pack a man. Pack them in. That was, his beard was the Japanese, uh,

public transport, uh, version of, of just a bunch of Japanese, like each one is a hair. But you're also saying it's the best beard you've ever seen. Yeah. So both are true.

Yeah. Oh, okay. Well, I mean, I would say the best beards to you are packed in. I would say so. Clearly.

Did you not think that? I, I don't think, I don't think I've ever thought that. Well, remember when I used to say your mustache has, so many hairs per capita. Yeah.

And you get so mad. I was saying you had a great mustache. Yeah, I guess, I mean, I never really, wow, I forgot about that. You did? Yeah. That was like a whole thing. I mean, I don't wake up thinking about it. I did.

I mean, so. Yeah, no, I don't. Yeah, I guess full beards are better. Yeah. Yeah. Better. You know, your patchy-haired beard, you know? Yeah, right.

Yeah, yeah. Fucking Ryan Davis and shit. Our friend. Not the comedian, Ryan Davis. You know, but like Johnny Depp didn't have a good beard. I mean, he made it work. you know but the guy's got a good beard Jeffrey Dean's, what's his fucking name?

Oh, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, the actor who's got a good beard or saying? Yeah. Does he? Yeah, he's always doing this. Yeah. Yeah, that guy. The guy in The Walking Dead. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the Walking Dead, yeah.

Right there we go. There we go. Look at his fucking beard. That's a great beer. Actually, you know what I would say. I mean, could he look more like an American Javier Bardem? No, no, I've always thought that too. Guys got a great fucking beard, huh?

All lengths, too. It works. Yeah, it does, right? Yeah, the stubble works great. The long beard works great. If I had a long beard like that, I mean, Jim Carrey in the middle. Look how fucking, he got real thin, though.

Oh, who cares? Yeah. Beards, huh? So over it. No. I don't have a beer that grows. in like evenly. You have a good beard though.

Thank you. Yeah, but I don't have that. What? But I don't have that. Yeah, but you don't have to have that to have a good beard. It's a little. I wouldn't say. As you put it, I have the mustache is hairs per capita plus.

Uh-huh. But I wouldn't say that you have a patchy beard though. It's not patchy. No, no, no, no, no. Evenly placed. My beard is good. You have a very even beard, yeah. But I can't really do a mustache because I don't have the capita.

That's interesting, huh? It's weird, yeah. I mean, I don't, I wouldn't say I'm hurting for hair in my beard or mustache, but I just couldn't, I don't think I, I don't know, I don't think I could do it. You know, you would need your, to grow your beard out big and then shave it down to a mustache. Yeah, okay. Right. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

Yeah. Because your beard, like most beard's, goes like that. My mustache comes like this, like Sam Elliott. Mine comes like down. Got it. Got it. The cowboy. Yours hits gravity and he just goes on here.

It just comes down over. You know what I mean? Uh-huh. Okay. Well, that's great. That's the story of my beard. Dude, let's play his other video. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Do you have it? He's dressed up. What's up guys? Great beard. You helped me years ago with a problem of trying to explain a bitch to someone. So there's just a little call back.

Chris, Hey, man. It's just kind of between you and me because I send both of you and Matt videos of things that make me giggle. And Matt replies. Do you? He's like, Matt, get on you, mate. Man are the people. Fucking bum, man.

Fucking jokes. I appreciate our connections. And I've just got some misconnections with you, Chris, dude. Well, I don't know. I hope you're doing all right, though. I just want to say I love you guys. And keep doing y'all. Is this it?

Well, no wonder you didn't fucking... Just, like, reply some time. Just let me know if I'm hitting the right court. No wonder you didn't fucking play it on the show. The guy's nice as fuck. I like the guy. But no wonder you didn't fucking play it. He's got a good beard.

Yeah. This guy kind of makes me laugh. But dude, the guy, uh, he was, he, I mean, he's a guy that I would, absolutely, mom would be like, why do you fucking... Might be like, dude, he's hilarious. And my mom would be like, but I got to be friends with his fucking parents. I don't I oh when you're a kid you're yeah yeah oh wow yeah okay and I'm like whoa I don't give a fuck the dude's fucking hilarious and he's laughing at stupid shit mm-hmm and then mom would be like

oh you remember okay I would bring home the kids and my mom had to be my and mom had to be parents friends with their parents dude man I would pick these Russian kids you know and then like their dad would just be like I am hirup to pick up mikhil and then uh she would just be like all right I guess this is my fucking friend now you know and then they see them at like school stuff with their belly all out you know just fucking move from russia do parents of kids have to be friends the kids that are friends i mean no but you got to say hi yeah sure so that's what she meant you know it's just like now i got to fucking say hi to like you know flathamere yeah or or or the or the you know or the wife that just

doesn't speak um you know oh i loved it dude idis fuck that i'm friends i want to be friends with Idis though. Ida's maddis is what I was thinking yeah, Ma, I want to be friends with Idis and I want to be friends with Michael. Michael was hilarious because one time, who's that? Well, his name was Michael, but he was at Pick and Save. Remember Pick and Save?

Of course, yeah, yeah. And I said, there's my friend Mike, Michael, and I said, how, Michael? I think I remember this. And the dad was like, you know, he was so Russian and he just looked and he almost hit those yellow poles that stick out and he paused and mom laughed so hard. She said, oh, look, you almost hit the yellow pulse, and she was laughing. I was like, ah, it's hilarious. She's like, you picked the best, you pick the best friends.

I was like, whatever. Weirdly, I remember that. Yeah, that is weird that you remember that, because it didn't happen to you. You were in the car, I was in the car. I was in the car. The reason I remember is because mom laughed so hard. She did laugh so hard. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Man, when mom laughs hard, it makes me laugh. Yeah. Are you the same way? Yeah, I mean, yeah. And you don't have to say it. I, mom has a contagious laugh. I didn't feel pressure to a girl. Chill, you know.

I'm not going to tell her. She doesn't look at the end. Even if she does what she's happened, she's not going to make it to the end. Yeah, she's got a contagious laugh. Maybe you do? Maybe don't. Maybe you don't think that though, right?

No, I mean, trying to convince me now the other way. No, I'm saying I do and you don't. Gaslighting me. And that's okay. No, I think mom's laugh is contagious. She's got a laugh that makes other people laugh. I don't mean to twist your arm, but. You didn't.

Just got my feelings out. My true ones. Okay. Well, anyway, I'm going to be in Springfield tonight. Look at the way he did it. That's nice. Phoenix, Arizona. Tampa, Arizona. I got shows in there out the wazoo. Atlanta, Buffalo, New York. And then I go on to

Paris and Europe and come see me, Denmark and all that stuff. So, Chrisley.com. Thank you very much. Preach. Hello. Two and five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer.

Register today at pmcfwalk.ca. Don't you wish you could just hit skip on the worst parts of your life? You know the same way you can skip an ad? I get it. I'm Siaya and I live in Ice Cove. I've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way I plan. And today, I'm still figuring it out. Somehow things usually get worse before they get better.

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