Lifeline - 231. Survivors Survive

Episode Date: September 27, 2026

LIFELINE ✨LUXURY✨ is available at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/lifelineluxury⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Extra episodes every month, no advice, all for $5. Our Patreon is also the exclusive home to all the live podcasts which we film and upload! 🤳 Want to submit to Lifeline? Go here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠forms.gle/EYbqjvyy1A9r728Y9⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🎧 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠apple.co/3NG2G2G⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🔊 Subscribe on Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠spoti.fi/3NPUwoT⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 🔗 All our links: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠linktr.ee/watchlifeline⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Today we're talking about Chris's baseball knowledge, keeping kids engaged when you're teaching them, window washers, and making adult decisions. And yes we messed up the title. 💚 Lifeline is the first podcast about you, hosted by Matt D'Elia & Chris D'Elia. More LIFELINE: Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠instagram.com/watchlifeline⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Tiktok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠tiktok.com/@watchlifeline⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ More Matt D'Elia: Sign up FOR FREE For Matt's Patreon for Matt D'Elia Live, all episodes of The Private Record and Matt D'Elia is Confused Book 20 or 40 min one-on-one sessions with Matt at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mattdelia.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. More Chris D'Elia: Congratulations podcast: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠congratulationspod.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Live on tour: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠chrisdelia.com/tour⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh, man, dude. Oh, my God. Yeah, dude. Oh, just. Two guys, two guys making love. Oh. You drink. Well, whatever, dude.

I mean, like, look, what do you? Well, I was going to say something about the drink, but then I was like, I don't want to talk about it because it's not like they pay us to talk about it. They don't pay us to talk about it. So, guess what? What? We don't talk about it. Well, that's what I'm saying. So listen, do you, no, man, we're not going to be doing that this episode.

We'll be doing an episode. Do you? Just so you know. Do you have, hey, will you look up, will you look up Thalasophobia? What it is? Yeah. You know what it is? Mm-hmm.

Yeah. You don't like it? I've never heard that. Like, you have it. I. An intense, persistent fear of deep open and large bodies of water? I have that, yeah. What do you mean?

You've been to the beach before. You don't see. No, but no, but like, go scroll down. Like that, to me? I'm saying the pictures that were just there that you ruined that you got rid of. That's terrifying, all of that. All of that is terrifying. Why?

I don't know. I've always thought open water like that is terrifying. Look at that one that said like go the one left of that one. That one. That's, that's terrifying to me. Is it not to you? Honestly, and I don't think I've ever said this sentence in my life, but I only see. beauty. I couldn't picture either of you guys at the beach. I'm not like a beach guy. The beach is different

though. I'm not scared of being at the beach. I'm scared of that. He gets that. He gets that. I'm just saying that is only beautiful to me. There's nothing in that that stirs any remote fear whatsoever. That's wild. Yeah. But what kind of like what kind of fear you talk like what is it? Anything could get you. It's it's not your domain. It's it just intellectual for you? Or like it's a, make you... Oh, no, no, no, no, it makes me... Really? My heartbeat.

Oh, yeah. Wow. Yeah, for sure, absolutely. Damn. Yeah. Do you take the kids to the beach? No, I mean, they go to the beach sometimes. I mean, I have.

On their own. Yeah, Calvin don't drive Billy, but... No, yeah, it's just... It's very scary to me that. That is very scary to me. Weird. I don't know if ever articulated it, but yeah, for sure it is. I'm just like way into the unknowns of...

of the depths of the sea. Like, there's just so much we don't know that's still under there. And it's... Yeah, that's why it's scary is what I'm saying. But that's so fascinating. It is fascinating, but it's... So, so serial killers.

That's fucking terrible. Yeah, and I want to hang out with them too. I don't know. No big deal. You're bad guy. Sunday, September 27th. I'm still in... I'm in Alphabet.

I got one more show tonight. So, Happy Bird did a little Wayne. Uh-huh. Avril Levine and Gwenneth Poutra. Yeah, the three of the most important people in the world? At least today. On September, yeah, in September, the month is over, yeah. But yeah, so, and I'll be in Buffalo, and I'll be in a bunch of different places.

So come, coming out to Chrissly.com and get some tickets. I'll see in Manchester. I'll see it in Vienna, see in London. Yeah. That's cool, man. Yeah, it is pretty cool. Thalasophobia is a scare of open water. Yeah, I don't, I'm not into it.

The fear of open water, yeah. You said the scare of open water. I did? You did? You did? You did. Did I really? You really did, yeah.

Oh, fuck. Yeah. Make you feel bad? I don't like to think I said something but didn't. I said something else. That means the same thing, kind of, but wrong? Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, I don't like that. The scare of open water, you said. But you ever see that movie, Open Water? Yes. Was it good? I think I saw in the theater. That's not really the kind of movie for me. Yeah, I know.

You're just like, okay. You gotta go see that whale one, the new one? Dude, let me tell you something. I watched that trailer. Uh-huh. And I thought, I don't know what movies are anymore. Yeah, I don't really understand it either. I don't get it.

Maybe I'm dumb, but. I felt dumb. I was like, this is a, I think this makes sense. I'm not like not following it. Yeah. But like Austin Abrams gets swallowed by a whale. And then Josh Brolin is like, I got to get him out. Yeah.

Is that what it is? I mean, I think so. Yeah, I don't really. And it's like a survival tale slash rescue tale. But but but but it's like the end is it's funny you brought that up because there's there's a line in that trailer that is the most like who wrote it? This is the dumbest writing ever. Josh Brolin at the end of the trailer says survivors survive.

Wow. That is the least meaningful thing you could say. You can't say something less meaningful. You could only say something as meaningful. So, okay, so there's no world where you get swallowed by a whale and don't die, right? No, I think there is, yeah. Pinocchio and stuff. Yeah, no, no, no.

It's not possible to be swallowed by a whale and survive. I'm pretty sure. I don't know this at all, but I would venture to guess it's happened at least. Look it up. Seriously? I bet it's happened at least once. Yeah. Wow.

In fact, you know what? I bet it's happened at least 50 times on record. This is crazy. Which is to say nothing about all of history. Right. No, I, I, you can't breathe in there, though. There's air. Yes, people have accidentally been engulfed or taken into a whale's mouth and survived, though no one has ever been swallowed into a whale's stomach.

Well, that's what I meant. Because a whales, oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, because the whale's throat is physically, Too narrow to swallow a human. These rare events are accidental engulfments during lunge feeding rather than intentional attacks. Right, right, right, right. Way to defend whales, Gemini. Look at this.

A commercial lobster diver was swallowed in about 45 feet of water. Jesus Christ, he spent 30 to 40 seconds trapped in complete darkness in the mouth of a fucking humpback whale before the animal surfaced and spit him out with only a dislocated knee. That's wild. All of it's wild.

Just the dislocated knee, though, is wild. I mean, you think so? I mean, you're in the mouth of a whale for 40 seconds. You spit out with a dislocated knee. You're the luckiest human being in existence. Right. Yeah. I guess so.

God damn. Well, I mean, there was another guy who was unharmed. I would say he's luckier. I would agree. I would agree. And what happened to the other guy there? He died. He died.

Oh, wait, wait, hold on. 19th century legend claimed that means it's not true. Whale was swallowed by a sperm whale and survived inside his stomach for hours. No, that's a lie. No, that's where Pinocchio came from. By the way, I was watching this fucking thing about... Pinocchio? No.

This show Eerie Hall or something? it was like this oh no that was the episode but it was uh james wan did it and it came out a few years ago and it was a does a document look it up it's a document document docu-series about like haunted stuff sounds like james vaugh yeah and it's so bad the the haunting the haunting that's it true hunting true haunting it was so bad because they were doing i don't even know if this is going to translate or make any sense we're talking about on the fucking podcast but it was like they would interview the people and they'd say it was scary, you know, or whatever they would say. And then it would cut to a scene that they shot with actors. And they would do something,

something scary would happen. But the people that they interviewed never said that that's what happened. So it's like, it would be like, she left the room and that's when she said that she heard people talking to her. And then it'll cut to a scene of her looking in the mirror, somebody going, whew! And then, like, somehow metaphysically opening her mouth too wide. Like, oh! And it's like, but then the guy never said, and the woman, lady never said, my mouth

opened wide. You know what I mean? I fucking, that bothered me so much. How do you feel about that? What, the way you're describing and I agree with you fully. Yeah. Yeah. Like, it was like they were trying to make it more than it was.

And it was, I don't know if, like, dumb people. people would watch it and be like, well, that's crazy to happen. But like, dude, it was infuriating. It was actually, I was like, man, I want to see if, I want to know what actually happened. I know a fucking ghost wasn't there. So, I want to, like, you know what I mean? Yeah. You're making me think of this movie.

Tay, look up, 1981 Barbara Hershey. It's called, I can't believe it. I can't remember the title. I can't believe it's not butter. The docu-series. Barbara Hershey's squirt. No, not this is done. man, what's the, is it 1980?

Fuck. Horror movie, just look up a horror movie with her. Take? The entity. Okay. Oh, wait. Do you know this movie? They just remade it, I think.

They did? I don't know. No, I don't know this movie. Okay, go ahead. So this was based, this. Click on it. People, okay, this was a whole 60 minutes thing where people believe this was real. Okay, yeah.

I mean, this happens every now and then with movies and shit. It's less and less. Yeah, of course. But this was like, it came out in 60 minutes, then they made the movie. So people thought it was real when it happened. Okay. Obviously, most people didn't think it was real. Right.

At the time, I don't know. I'm not sure if the movie was a hit or not. The movie, oh, it's 1982. The movie is so good. What? Yes. Okay. It's a found footage movie?

No. Oh, it's not? No. It's just about her house being haunted by this guy who's sexually assaults, this entity that sexually assaults her. That's a part of it that I wasn't going to give away. Oh, uh-oh. Well, that's the first line right here.

It's the most famous scene in the movie. But it's interestingly like not, well, there's no, you can't really be that graphic when. Yeah, the guy's not there. Exactly, yeah. Which is what makes it so interesting. Oh, give me your pussy. How'd you know the dialogue?

You haven't seen it. Oh, falling off a building. Oh, I'm so fucking hard. Oh, come here. Oh, fuck, you can't go anywhere. Oh, you don't know where I am. Oh, come here.

Oh, just touch your teddy. But sometimes people ask for movie wrecks. This is kind of a forgotten cult classic. And it's amazing. So if you like horror, forget the true story or not. Who cares? Throw it up the window.

And you can't even see it. Oh, God. All movies are fake anyway. So it's good. Watch it. Right. I'm going to watch it. You'll like it.

Oh, really? Oh my god, I'm jizzing all over the place. Oh, you don't even know where you... You've seen it, you forgot. You remember all the dialogue from it. Oh, my jizzes haunted too. Oh, you don't know where it is, but it's on you. Oh, God.

Oh, God, you know? Oh, my God, I can't even deal with it themselves. He's got to shame. The most... The shameful entity? Oh my God, what did I do? Oh, it feels like a sunrising under my belly. Oh, my God.

Oh. I'm sorry. Oh, br. Oh, God. Anyway. Please forgive me. Anyway. Anyway.

Some rise under my belly. I heard that from somewhere. Poetry. I heard that from somewhere. I don't know what. No, you didn't. Oh, my God. I'm bus.

Oh, God. It actually feels. I always forget how good this feels. Oh, God. Thank God you came. Nobody's usually here. This house has been on the market forever. Nobody would buy it.

Of course not look at all the cobwebs. Oh my God. Before you was four men living in the house, just them. And I'm not gay. Oh God, but I fucked one of them after a long time because I needed it. Oh my God, anyway. It's like being in jail. You know what that's like, right?

She's just like, what the fuck? What is what this ghost? Why are you telling me all this stuff? You're not even being that scary other than the sexual assault part. It's not even that big of a deal because you can't even feel me, but trust me, I'm coming inside of you. Oh my God. oh, anyway, oh yeah, hold on one second. We'll squeeze it again.

Oh, God, okay. Bye. That movie? What? That movie, if that existed? It's fucking. At the end, every time she's just like, yeah, she's just like, I don't, did that, like,

am I losing my mind? Yeah. The documentary, it's found footage movie. Oh, man, I think you just hit it. She just moves ever so slightly. She's like, yeah, yeah. Oh, God, thank God you can. I want to hit it.

Thank God you came. I'm going to hit it. Let me smash. Let me smash. Oh my God. Oh, anyway. Anyway, dude.

It was blasé sexual entity of all time. Oh my God. A sunrise beneath my belly. Oh, anyway. Oh my God. Tell me I'm a piece of shit. Oh, God.

Oh, same a piece of shit. Oh. Oh, yeah. Please say it. Just say I'm a piece of shit actually. There we go. Okay. Oh, okay. I'll tell. Okay. Thanks for coming by. Thanks for come by. She lives there, you know? Thanks for living. Thanks for buying this house. Shit. Can't believe you came back. Oh, my God. Come here. Oh, yes. All right.

Why don't you come back? I keep jizzing in you. Because it's not that bad. You don't know it. Okay. So, um, all right. So let's do one. Yeah. I'm sure we do all this. Go ahead. Yeah. Sign up for a Patreon. Patreon. Patreon.com slash life and luxury. No submissions.

Just a... Bontasicana. Batman. Subscribe to this channel on YouTube. It is called Super Good Studios. Thank you. And of course, become a member of my Patreon. Shut up.

Patreon.com slash Matt DeLea. Thank you very much. much. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Dude, imagine if Batman was British like that, though that's hilarious. Enough banter, isn't it? I am vengeance, in it? Oh, long, what's all it's about?

I could see that happening one day. Yeah, fuck you. And what's all it's about? Dude, Statham should play back. Statham as the next Batman. I'd be there. in a second. I love Paterson, but I'm not seeing that.

I don't see those ones. Why does it smell like beans and a tomato? He's like, I just ate breakfast. I mean, I just had the best breakfast Britain has to offer in it. And it bloody sucked, but it's still the best we had to offer. I just had a delicious breakfast, beans and a tomato. No, tell me where she is.

Those fucking things are in the background Sirens The sirens are so fucking witty Those things in the background You couldn't think of the word sirens Fucking sirens are so weird No, but the police cars though Not just the fucking

I know Because you know it goes Woo woo woo woo here But in Britain they go Ne no ne no no no Now You'd be like Why is it bending

so much. Is that true? Yes, anyway. You want to do one? Yeah, that's doing. All right. This guy would be such a guy who's a cousin. Something I want to pick your guy's brains about. So my girlfriend and I live in New York City. We're 24. Nah, this guy would be somebody's cousin and he'd be coming over and he'd be like, they'd be like, they're coming over and be like, oh, fuck. Okay, I guess he's fun, but you never really know what's going to happen when he comes over. Like your cousin? A cousin, someone's cousin. I mean, just this fucking.

That's your cousin? All a cousin. Well, he's somebody's cousin. Is his last in Delea or is it? No, he's somebody's cousin and goes over their house all the time. God. Yeah, dude. But what I want to understand is why you didn't get it.

I don't. Here we go. Just saying he's a cousin and he's just showing up and he's a cousin. There's no specificity. But you know him and I've known him so long and me and I would say that too. And you know what he means. I know what he. This guy is a cousin.

Yeah, he's so someone's cousin that is like cousin Josh is coming over. Oh, dude. And everyone's like, John, okay. I mean, we like Josh, but he's, we don't know. Nice family. Sure, yeah. Put the stuff away. Put the whatever away.

He always wants to go in the basement for some fucking reason. Lock the basement, yeah. You know, like, it's just, this guy's someone's cousin and someone's annoyed about it. Yeah. I never see something more true in my life. Yeah. We'll be married probably in the next two years. So everything's great in the relationship.

She is in New York City as an aspiring actress, dancer, model, you know, that whole, that whole artist. I'm a professional cousin. It's going okay, but not great. income, not really stable. Oh, you don't say? Obviously. We have aspirations in our relationship to eventually move outside of the city, get a house, backyard, have kids, that whole thing.

But obviously, you need money for that. Yes, you do. I have just like a regular marketing 9 to 5 corporate job, so I can't do the whole thing myself. Not much money and cousining. At what point do I have a conversation with her like, hey, so we're 30. We want to start this next chapter.

Is there like a plan B that we can think of or a mix of plan A and B or is that going to just totally crush her dreams? Uh-huh. I love you guys. Thanks so much. It might crush her dreams if you said plan B. But if you just said, so what's the plan? Like what, like we want these things? Yeah.

If we keep heading in this direction this way, what do you think will happen? What do we think will happen? And then how do we get what we want? We got to, yeah, what do we want? What's the road to getting there? And like, what's the loose start this way? What's the loose plan to get there? And if she says, well, I'm going to be a big famous dancer

within the next five years. So, like, give me a little bit of time. Different conversation. Right, right, right. The other version of the conversation is, I'm so sick of this hustle. I've been thinking about this myself. if I've been thinking about what else I could possibly do.

If you haven't had the conversation yet, you don't know where it's going to go. Don't say plan B. Say what is the plan. That didn't strike me. It's just, it's semantics, obviously. Like, it's not, it's the same thing. But to say, when you say plan B, it, and I've known. Yeah, it's like saying, what's your backup plan?

It's like saying you need one because, Plan A ain't going to work. Yeah. And so why bother, why not tiptoe around that instead? Yeah. That's my advice. I mean, but you're right. I mean, also, you're young.

So it's not like you're any kind of true hurry. Yeah. But I get it. And also, I think she's probably your age, what, 30-ish? She's going to get it at some point, too. So, like, having the- She'll understand you're saying. Yes.

Because that could mean Oh no, that's not what I meant. That's what people like you think. I'm sexotic. But just starting the conversation is vaguely and openly and open to hearing what she has to say as much as possible. Just starting the conversation is the opening of the door. Don't be like, so what's the plan B?

What's the five-year plan? No, no. Just open. open the door. And see how it goes, and then that will dictate where the path is going to have to go. That's good.

That's good, yeah. Because you don't know the level of the defensiveness. You don't know. Just honestly, yet. Call her. And then when she picks up,

go like this. When you come home, I want to talk to you about this silly shit you've been doing. We've got to figure out how we're going to actually have kids and build a life. That ought to work too.

And then jerk off. until she gets there and bust leave it leave it as on you and then when she comes in be like okay good so let's talk yeah if you want her to leave you do that do that and then she goes oh my god i don't like this and you go like this oh yeah well act like you like it maybe that's why you do performative dance prove it uh yeah it's tough but you know it's like you know i don't know you think you don't life surprises you and that's a beautiful thing and i i i hope that she understands understands that she you know I sounds like you do and like it's just like you don't know what you want nobody does you just you make it work because it's going to be amazing because it has to be and it's like

if you know I don't know I just I hope that you got he seems so chill and even though when he goes over his cousin's house this cousin's slightly annoying yeah um yeah she she she's probably with a good chick you know I don't know you really just rambled for about yeah I know I didn't really say what I was trying to say but I'm just like you know look the people who want to be an actor it's a tough business

and only getting tougher yeah true um and if she wants kids which it sounds like she does if she's with him and they they've talked about that sounds like yeah um and if that's not the case have that conversation first

um but yeah But yeah, anyway. All right. I guess, you know. Yeah. Hey, guys. It's a show.

Nice. Chris, I've been a fan since the start of 10 minute podcast. Whoa. But I am calling because I have some advices and need some advices. The advice that I need is I volunteered to start teaching eighth grade CCD at my church. Oh, wow. But I don't really have a lot of experience with kids. So I wanted to know if you guys had any tips to keep it fun and engaging for the kids without abandoning the material.

Yeah. And the advice that I have is for a woman that called in a few weeks ago about her mother-in-law that always talks to her daughter about God. And she kind of thought that was weird. And I just wanted to say, I don't think you should feel uncomfortable about confronting her about that at all. um yeah i would tell my parents not to do that um i'm catholic and my parents are catholic but if they were just always talking to my kid about god that would definitely make me uncomfortable yeah especially because there are things that i think they should learn at a certain age or specifically from me um you know as the parents so i don't think you should feel that about that at all

um also brian call in the last episode that's i want you did and uh never see yeah i was talking about having to hold back on jokes and like use his be material um and i just wanted to let you guys know that i saw brian in 2024 and uh all of his material was uh from his previous two specials right um not a single new joke so um i guess he wasn't really lying Dude. Wow, roasted and toasted. Yeah.

The outside was Pennsylvania. The inside was Pennsylvania. You only get that dog in Pennsylvania. You sound like you're from Pennsylvania. The whole thing is Pennsylvania. You got to fly out of Pennsylvania. The image that was on the screen just now was, in metaphorical sense, the state of Pennsylvania. So it's fine.

So it's great state. Yeah. Yeah. So it's cool. Some of it's good. I mean. Some of it's piss poor, but some of it's. It's really big.

It's got a lot of great shit. Got a lot of beautiful stuff, a lot of ugly stuff, big cities. Some awful awful shit. Yeah. But that was what we just saw. That was Pennsylvania. That was Pennsylvania.

In its heart. Yeah. Yeah. To its core. Deepest core. Yeah. So, yeah. I don't.

The CCD thing experienced with eighth graders, I mean, good luck, first of all. Yeah. No way. Go ahead. No, I mean, I don't know. It's tough to give him to do shit about anything.

Yeah. And yeah, it's great. Yeah. Yeah, I know. So that is going to be even harder because, I don't know, maybe, you know, one or two of the kids. I was just going to say, there's going to be, however many kids are in the class, let's say there's 15 kids in the class.

Yeah. There might be two or three, four max that give a flying shit. Mm-hmm. About being there. Mm-hmm. They're more there to socialize and be with their friends. In Pennsylvania, yeah. In the state of Pennsylvania, which is where you are for sure.

and um god how much is he in pennsylvania but he but he fucking crosses the border into ohio to do fucking ccd class fuck it's unbelievable but that guy does it's funny because i had that thought but i didn't say it what yeah what thought the one you just said he got to be fucking kidding me that's what i got then that then he must do it yeah that that must be you thought he crossed the line in oh i actually wasn't going to say ohio but it said he crossed state lines to do ccd That's fucking amazing. Man, we're good. I can't believe we knew that.

That's really, yeah. Psychics, I guess. Yeah, you don't have a shot, man. I mean, you just don't. You got to do what you got to do. You got to preach a good word, you know, you're a believer. You know what I would say, actually, is just the best you can do is be an example of the kind of adult. That, that.

that the kids should aspire to be. There will be plenty of wiseasses. There will be plenty of dickheads. There will be plenty of people who are just on their phone the whole time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Doing whatever. I, yo, Chris, you remember. How old were we when we were in CCD when Charlie Smith was our teacher?

Dude, do you remember before you even answered that? Yes. You do? Uh-huh. Go ahead, though. How good was that koala? It was amazing. Go do it.

How do you even know what I'm talking about? Because it was an amazing call. It really was. Before the guy started talking. Okay, so I. Yeah, go ahead. Little context. Okay, okay.

How old were, just start there. How old were we then? As old as eighth grade. That would be confirmation class, right? It was past CCD in the year or two before being confirmed Catholic. That's like when you're 15? Okay. So a little, okay.

Yeah, that sounds right. 14 and 15? Yeah. I don't even know why you came. I don't know why I came either. It must. Because you weren't even my sponsor. No, no, no, no.

You know what it was? I think there was another class going on that I was a part of. And I went into that class at the time. Okay. Anyway. Yeah. There was a teacher there. Shout out to Charlie Smith.

He was truly the shit. And he was what you are, basically, a CCD teacher. Yeah, you loved him. Yeah. And he, well, I'll let you. Well, I just saw him and I was like, oh, how much does that guy talk like this? And I was like, I was like, well, he met him obviously. Yeah.

Because that's exactly how he sounds. It's so weird. And then he started talking and I go, oh. Yeah. Yeah, it was amazing. Yeah. It was so weird. To me, he didn't look like he talked like that.

Oh, really? Yeah. But I knew him. So it was like. Interesting. Yeah. I mean, no, that was the first thing I thought. And I was right.

That's so funny, dude. That was so, I couldn't believe. I mean, I don't know. I couldn't believe. I was like, oh, yeah, dude. But I knew it. I knew it. But he had like one of these voices.

It was crazy that you called that. Yeah. You remember that, how about? I remember it well, yeah. The fact that you even thought I was going to bring it up now is crazy. Who was named Charlie Smith? Yeah. What he's doing now?

Me too, actually. You ever think about that? Because, like, we've been alive for a long time, you know? And, like, you know, there are, people now in my life. There are people now in my life that I've just completely forgot about. Right. Yeah. And that's so crazy. And I might, I might, maybe I'll think about them another time and I'll be like, oh my God. What happened to that person? Or, but like, yeah. Like mom? No, I'm kidding. But like, no, it's just like crazy that there's people that just, and they're still out there doing their thing.

I mean, hopefully. Right. Yeah, they might not be. But yeah, it's just like, like people that I was good friends with. And then they're just, they got families, I guess. And they're somewhere. Like, where the fuck is John Yunt? You know? I mean, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I was gonna answer, but who gives up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's really weird. What the fuck is? And then there's people that I forget.

I don't even know if they died or not. I'm like, did he die or not? Like, I think Matt Wooten died. Matt Wooten died? I think. But I don't know. Why do you think that? I think I have a memory of it too.

Okay, so yeah. Probably did. I don't even know if Matt Wundt died. I know what the guy's voice sounds like before it's going to sound. That's fucking weird. No, but yeah. Memories are so good. And I was friends with Matt Wooten.

It's like fucked up. I remember Matt Wooten. Yeah. I mean, this was 20 years ago. Rest in peace. If he actually is dead. And even if it's not, it's still rest in peace. It'd be nice to be resting in peace.

Lay down and just chilling it. Like getting sleep, getting good sleep. You know, not the eternal sleep, but, um, yeah. So anyway. Yeah, actually Just to put a button on You're fucked You're fucked

You're teaching a theater Something that they don't give a fuck about Or know anything about anyway There might be two or three That are like into it And you're just gonna have to deal with that There's no Absolutely no good will come of you being like

Even remotely strict about it Nah yeah It will only backfire Yeah Just deal with what you got and take what you get. There will be a few. Deal with them. Let the rest do what they're going to do with, what is it, 45 fucking minutes,

let them go home, who gives the shit? There might only be one. I don't know if there'll be a few. I mean, I was being optimistic if you want shit all over it. Fine. It's Pennsylvania, though, maybe more than one. True. Maybe two girls on one boy will be into it.

I think it was like, I was thinking like three boys and one girl. Really? Yeah. Hmm Why? I have no idea. No, no idea whatsoever. Just won't my brain contract.

I want to know where that guy's from, but I do know. So it doesn't matter. What do you mean? Yeah, no, no. I know. I want him to admit. I want him to admit. Yeah, well, okay.

Well, resubmit and say, I am from Pennsylvania and then end the video. And now I got to go across the state to do CCD class. Yeah. And then we'll be confirmed as. Psychics. One time I was with an ex of mine and we were sitting at the grove eating. And she was like talking about, we were talking about how she was always thinking she knew stuff about like, you know how, you know how like usually hot chicks think they're psychic. Spiritually.

Yeah. There's something in a way, you know. Okay. Oh, even intuition, which I do believe in. Yeah, yeah. But, but, you know, she was always thinking this. I was like, you know what, dude, you say this all the time, and you're saying this to me, and I know this way better than you do.

And she says, oh, really? He said, yeah. She said, you think you know people better than I do. I said, yeah. She says, all right, what about that guy? She points to a dude sitting on a waterfall, like it was a water fountain, eating alone. And I said, I guarantee you that guy builds his own furniture. And she goes, all right, she got out of the restaurant, walked up to the dude.

She's talking to the dude. And she looks at me. She goes, mm. And she comes over me and says, no, he builds, he built, he's building his own furniture right now. And that's, that is entirely true, that story. And I don't know how, you know, look, I'm not saying, oh, I'm psychic, but like, I did that at that point. And there is, that is, I'm not psychic. There's something.

There's just something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Things, the way people move, the way people's bodies are. The, the, the, the, the vibe they give off. And it's not like you're always going to be. be right. No, no, no, yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, sometimes you just hit the nail in the head and you're just like, dude, that guy builds chairs, the end. And you know it's true, you know? Yeah, like you see the thing about that guy and the cousin, like, you know, you fucking, oh my God, cousin Josh? Yeah. That motherfucker, dude, he goes in the basement. You know he does, he fucks with old toy, like old antique toys, you want to see. And they don't want him to. The dad of the house gets pissed. So he's always like, lock the basement door before, before John.

Josh gets here. Yeah, dude. I love Josh. Just he can't go in the basement, okay? Yeah. And he always fucking eats like two Nutro-Grain bars. We need that for school.

Yeah. You know, all right. Hide the Nutra-Grain bars in the basement. Hide the Nutri-Grain bars in the basement. Lockett. Fucking cousin Josh and his family are coming over. God damn it. We like him.

We like him. We like him. We love Josh, but just the fucking Nutrogram bars and there's civil war toys down there. Fucking everything. Yeah. Wow, dude.

All right, you want to do another one? So stupid. Yeah, it's all true, though. It's all true, though. I'm standing here in Manhattan. I wanted to ask you... Doesn't finish words. Doesn't finish words?

Do you think this is worth a paycheck? What's the question? I guess he's cleaning windows. Is it worth a paycheck? You can't be making enough money for that. Right, right, right. Well, is he talking about... Looks like he's a Lifeline hoodie on.

He's probably not, but... Is he talking about... about the danger of it. What the fuck do you think? Okay. I mean, what else would he be talking about? It's manual labor. It's hard.

It's boring, you know? The guy's on a building. So is Spider-Man. He loves what he does. Obviously, he's talking about the danger of it. He's asking, is the paycheck worth it? Let me tell you, probably not, but I bet he gets paid better than someone who cleans windows from the inside.

I'm not... From prison? I'm not saying... I'm not saying that it's worth it. But people need work. Right. And so does that guy. And guys got incredible fucking balance.

Can you go... I'm cleaning that window? I'm dead on day two. By day two. I'm dead on the way there. I crash. Yeah. Dude, is, um, can you, can you go to the part where it's zoomed in on the guy on the window? I'd love to see just a still of that.

Pay attention to how, oh, never mind. Yeah, no, no, I definitely call that. He doesn't finish words. Yeah, sentences, end words. So what, so the guys, he's just standing in at all or no. Like, can you, you know what I mean? What the fuck is this?

Because I can't really tell, what part of, let's see if we can get tech on it. An episode of Homeland. Jesus Christ, that's Jason Bourne. He could be anchored like inside the window. Right, right. Right, right, right. That's what I'm trying to judge because I think he's, I think he's probably anchored from inside.

Well, yeah. Okay, but usually those guys are on a fucking thing anchored outside. Oh, I see what you're saying. You know, so, so, so I'm just trying to figure out what exactly this guy's job is. If it's, it could be, you know, anything from window cleaner to repair man to fucking, I don't know. This guy could just be some guy that's like, let me just fucking get out there and fix this. know. Yeah, you know, he might not be cleaning windows. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. So before he's fucking jumped down my throat. But, I mean, let's just presume he's cleaning windows. Okay.

Sure. Okay. And why is he in like a motocross gear? What? I don't even understand. That looks like a uniform to me. It doesn't look like motocross gear. Is he a fireman? No, no. Come on. That, in that? It looks like a uniform to me. I just can't. You can't. You can't zoom in on that? Can you get tech on it? No, I can't. All right. You're fucking. Send it down to the lab, see what they can get, see what they can clear up. Is the, yeah, I mean, is, look, is the paycheck worth it? Is it $300 an hour? Then yes.

Is it $21 an hour less so? But you need money. And if you, if it's safe. I gotta say, I bet that that's the kind of thing that once you do it like for 35 minutes, you feel way less scared. I'm not saying it's not scary But the first time you do that It's got to be oh my God

You're taking so long you're doing And then like after the first day You're probably like okay I got a huge learning curve Like I got a right right yeah So yeah That is pretty crazy to do that though All right well yeah That's high up and

You know what the thing about it is You don't even need to be that high up To fucking die when you fall That's the real fucking thing. So if you're up one level, you might as well be up a thousand levels. Maybe two levels, but yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear, I do know what you mean. I do think about, but there's the thing about the, you get the vertiginous shit when you're up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, which fucks you up.

That's what I get when I have, that's thelasophobia. Is that, is that, I mean, I don't know if I'd get dizzy, but yeah, I would, yeah. As a matter of fact, I can just close my eyes and think about being underwater and I get scared. physically. What a fucking pussy. That's my thing, baby. You know what it comes from? When I first had sex, the girl got so wet because of how I was, granted, she was at base wet, but it's because I have what I was doing.

And it fucking almost drowned me. Yeah, that'll give you. So I have the lasophobia. I have that asaphobia. I have that asophobia. So anyway, I have that asophobia. Okay. Well, I don't believe.

you, but I remember I was pushed out of the room and the door blew open and it was like, you know, the shining when the blood is in the hallway, it was like that, but with water. Yeah. It's fucking insane, dude. Yeah, I don't believe you. Yeah. Do you think it's interesting that I don't believe you or are you? I mean, I knew you wouldn't, but it's fucking true 100%.

Yeah, I know the feeling. And she was the hottest girl ever. She's still cold. That assophobia. I mean, you know, that's so in-depth jam or some shit. That ass, I know what she got, that assophobia. Man, you pull me on. I'm about to get that assophobia.

Damn. You know the towel? Why he just went so hard? The gold fucking button down. Yeah. All right. Hey, guys. You know, this is going to be serious.

I don't really have an advice question. I'm not asking for your advice. Okay. The newest episode, Chris, is rattling off names for a bit of, like, early 90s baseball players. And it's hilarious. But I've heard him talk about baseball a few times, and it's always, like, obscure names, like, Todd Zeal from the early 90s, late 80s. It's not so obscure, no. I guess my question is, how do you know so much early 90s baseball?

I know Matt, you still pay attention to baseball and like fantasy or whatever from what I can tell. You're right. But yeah, I just want to, it's baseball season. Me and my son, he's eight years old. We got into cards recently. So sometimes we'll buy like the early 90s packs. Oh, nice. And I think every time we're opening like those packs, I think about how Chris we know all the

names, which is hilarious because he doesn't like sports anymore. But I guess I just wanted to know about like, did you guys play growing up? Did you guys watch it a lot, obviously? Yeah. And then Chris, why didn't you keep going with it? So an interview. That's it. It's baseball, Susan. I needed the baseball question. Okay, that's fair. All right. Bye-bye. Bing-bang, bim-bong, bim-mong. Bing-bong. Bing-bang baby for life. I think, though, that, well, so I was heavy into collecting baseball cards. is really why. That's why I remember. Because I was,

I knew about the players because I would watch, but I would also read them and collect them and see that, you know what I mean? I mean, you collected football and basketball cards. I collected baseball at a 10.

I collected football and at a one and the basketball at two. Okay. So baseball cards was it? Yeah. Okay. I could barely. Remember the Beckett guides?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I could tell you like four basketball. No. I couldn't tell you obscure basketball players. Right. Right? But like, you know, like Hensley Mullen's in baseball and shit. Dude, I fucking knew you were going to say. Yeah, that's the one I say the most.

Okay, so, so say five baseball players. Todd Zeal, Rob Dibble, John, or Robin Yount, John, I was going to say. Dennis Eckersley and John Allard. Of course, the way you said that. And of course, John Ollard. And I'm forgetting. Okay, could you name five baseball players that are playing right now? No.

Does Alvar Pujols play? No, not anymore. He just retired. That was my last one. That was the last new guy. You have zero. Tim Salmon doesn't play anymore, right? Dude.

But he played when he was really old, though, there's the thing. Yeah, but that was 20 years ago. Was it? Yeah, okay. Albert Pujols was the last guy. You can name like... Oh, does the Siso Filder's kid play? No, he retired.

Oh, wow, I'm out. Yeah, no, I'm out. Yeah, isn't that crazy? You don't have one? No. Come on, you can name the most famous Dodger. You can name the most famous Dodger.

The one of the last one I got is that green. What's his name green? Sean Green. That's the last one I got. That's the last one I got. This is like me encountering someone who didn't know who Kobe Bryant was when he died. I'm being dead serious. Okay.

How about a hint? Okay. He's Japanese. Oh, yeah. The New Balance spokesperson. Hoshani Natani. What? Hoshani and Natani.

Okay, close enough. Yep. I know him. Yes, of course. Of course, that was slipping my mind. Yes, of course I know him. Oshani Otani. Sherrioteri.

I know Sherry Othari. Now batting. Literally a five-year-old saying, Shoh-hahe-Otani, the way you first said it. Of course I know that person, yes. And what about Ichiro? Oshani-Otani. Ichiro?

He doesn't do it? He doesn't play anymore. Yeah. He played late and he was truly one of the best ever, but yeah. Ichero looks fucking cool as hell now, now that he's like gone gray. Oh, he does? Etro is in all around just he was the shit.

Yeah, I remember him. He looks like splinter. Yes, of course I know. I mean, you made him sound looking like he looks super cool. Then you said he looked like splinter and now it sounds like he sucks. He looks so, he's so cool looking, dude. I literally, I literally saw him on TV the other day. I thought it was a bag of trash.

With soup coming out of it, like spilling. Oh shit, dude. Dude, I knew you're going to laugh at that. Why? Because it's so absurd. It's not like, it would have been less funny if I picked an ugly, ugly person. Yeah, to me. To you.

Yeah. To you. Yeah. Yeah. I just knew you're going to laugh at that. That's so hard. Also, also. The soup coming out.

Yeah, but also I knew you were going to laugh at it because a bag of trash isn't even creative. Right. And I knew you were going to like that extra more. You know I like that shit. And then when I threw the soup thing, I knew it'd get you more because it was creative. Yeah, right. Right. Fuck, dude.

I think about all this shit, man. I obsess with it, dude. Let's talk about something for real. Say you and I, just whatever, for whatever reason, life happens. And we don't see each other for 10 years. years. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Obviously not going to happen. But we'll see. Planning on it. And and obviously not going to happen. So if it does, you don't know where I am. And if anyone asks, do you think we'd still be able to do the thing. Yeah. You think that's just what thing? What thing?

I mean, yes. I can't explain it. The thing that just happened. A hundred percent. Yeah. You think that that would never go away. Yeah. Do you think that if we didn't see, other for the rest of our lives and you came to visit me like when I'm sick and old. Mm-hmm. Do you think you'd still? Yes. Yes. Do you?

I do, yeah. I think probably. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I see in the bed, it'd be like, ooh, ooh, and I'd be like, ha. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Maybe I'd laugh even harder actually. Yeah, you would. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, think about how hard we'd laugh when I think I know what you're going to say. I know what I'm going to say. I'm not going to say it.

But you say it? Should we? I want to know. Oh, no, no, no, no. No, right. No, no, no. Yeah, no. I thought you were going to say at Grandma's funeral.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like that, but no. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so, but yeah. But yeah, I do think, yeah. Wait, what, so it was because of the cards, and then the reason why I still know it is because I know it's funny to, to, to, it's, it's, It's more, it's funnier to say John Ulruid than fucking Jose Canseco.

Because Jose Canseco was a massive star. Yeah, Mark McGuire's not funny. Yeah. And if, yeah, yeah, Mark McGuire, you know, but if I say Andres, Alaraga, that's funny. Then that's funnier, you know. You know what his nickname was? The Expo isn't even a fucking Bagsko. No, no, that was Jeff Bagswell, right?

No, what was it? The Big Cat. Oh, wow. Yeah, weird. Yeah, yeah. But, yeah, but I mean, it's funny because Expos isn't even a team anymore, right? Aren't there the Nationals now? Yeah, they are. How'd you know that?

Crazy that you know that, by the way. Yeah, that is kind of, yeah, it is crazy. Well, no, that happened really long time. It was like 2010, right? Earlier. Oh, okay, yeah, then I knew that. My whole thing was like once the, like, obviously I know the Rockies and the Marlins, but when that happened when they, the expansion team.

That expansion was when you were out. It was like, it was almost like, I don't want to do this anymore. Like literally, like I was like, they're just going to fucking make new teams. It's bullshit. But this new, this other question is, did you play? Baseball? Yeah. When I was a kid, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I did play baseball. But I didn't, I got to tell you, though, when they came out with the Rockies and Marlins, that was the first time they came out with new teams in my lifetime. And it really put a fucking sour taste in my mouth. Because I go, they're just going to make new teams?

They made the Tampa Bay raised. Do you remember that? Mm-hmm. Yeah. But I go, they're just going to make new teams. Like, why the fuck would I just, and then the people in Denver are just going to root for for them? They don't even fucking know them.

There's a new team. Didn't they make the Diamondbacks, too? They made a lot of new teams in our lifetime. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no, they made a bunch. Yeah. But they didn't for until we were like, No, that's true.

14 or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so when I was, I thought it was goofy. But then, then I, because the fact that baseball was around, the teams were around, the cities had their favorites. Yeah, I know the Dodgers flip went from Brooklyn to fucking L.A., but that was so long ago. Yeah.

And to me, a lateral move like that is still, okay, but like if you're just going to be like, okay, uh, the Phoenix homers. And then they're in Phoenix is going to have a stadium and then they're going to play baseball and they're going to play the Yankees. It took it, it really did take a lot of the allure of baseball out. It took me away from it. Yeah, it really did. I've never articulated that, but I've always thought that.

Yeah. You know, it helped a little bit because James Magadent, Magidon? Madigan? James Magidon, yeah. James Magidon was on the Mets and then he was on the Marlins. Dave Magidon. Then he was on the Marlins. But I'm like, it's just bullshit.

They're just keep saying, you know, it's like Seinfeld's joke when he was like, and all we're doing, you know, they keep trading the people. All we're doing is we're rooting for their clothing. Yeah, you know. We're rooting for the uniforms. Yeah. It's like that's how I felt kind of. Yeah.

Kind of a weird fucking person. I mean, I kind of, I kind of. You do? If I'm being honest, well, you're a weird person. That's why. I kind of get that. But I was a fanatic.

No, no, no. I know, yeah. So, like, I never liked expansion, like, expansion teams, the whole, like, drafting, what are you getting into players. Yeah. Then suddenly, like, two, three years in, like, win the World Series. And the Red Sox haven't won since, like, well, yeah, that's exactly. It's like, it's a bit disconcerting.

You're buying it. You're buying it. You're buying players. You're buying, you know what I mean? And then it's, of course, of course you are. It's a business. But like, you know, it's like... Yeah.

I just think when it comes to baseball versus other sports, I mean, when I was younger, I was generally a sports fan. I always preferred baseball. But people that don't like baseball, more than most other sports... Yeah, they fucking hate it. They're like, that's so fucking boring. They say it's boring, yeah.

And to me... That's why I like it. to me they're not wrong right but golf is boring right but but what's happening in between those boring moments if you care to know or if you're interested yeah to learn is nonstop like there's no managers ever just like oh i'm just going to wait for this pitch right right right you know what I mean, no catchers ever just like, all right, well, I'll just crouch down and get ready. Everybody's constantly moving. And if you're aware of all the players and all the situations, all the coaches, all the

possibilities, all the situational whatever, it's the most like micro, micro, micro detail. You can get as detailed as you want and you can dive as deep into it as possible. I'm not saying that is not true of other sports. I don't find it to be. Right, right, right. But I've always said this. Well, yeah. Baseball, and I think the reason I still love it so much is because baseball is the most like actual life. It's long. It's fucking boring. And it has crazy spurts of action that you have absolutely no idea what their outcome will be. And it ends. Don't you wish you could just hit skip on the worst parts of your life? You know the same way you can skip an ad.

I get it. I'm Siaya and I live in Ice Cove. I've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way I planned. And today, I'm still figuring it out. Somehow things usually get worse before they get better. Apparently, that's how I roll. So bundle up and come along for the bumpy ride. Stream a new episode of North of North Tuesdays on CBC Gem. For 50 years, Canadians have wondered what the names of IKEA furniture mean.

like Natopa, the guardrail for children's beds. Natopa means giving your favorite person room to grow. It means their safety and your piece of... No. In Swedish, Natapa means night monkey. Mark! IKEA, 50 years of Swedishness at home. Look, he's wearing little pajamas. So cute.

I mean, all sports end, obviously. So that's not part of it. That shouldn't count. But it's so... So to me mirrors actual life because so much of life is just, yeah, the fuck, you know, sitting here waiting for this fucking thing to happen. That's why I like John Casabettis, those movies. But, yeah, I don't, yeah, I suppose, yeah, I also think that, God, I mean, but like,

baseball is kind of a sport where you can't really cheat code. like football you a lot of it has to do with power you know and the size of somebody basketball if somebody's seven nine they're just going to be good you know yeah pretty much there is there's nothing like that with baseball you know

most some of the best guys are fucking small some of the best guys are big some best guys are fast some of the best guys are slow you know what I'm saying some of the some of the best guys are fat. Yeah, I know, yeah. Yeah. And so it's like, it's just more interesting to me. But people think it's boring. I like the fact that you can like sit in the dugout and figure shit out like what you're talking about. Yeah. I like that. And it's all, the slowness of it makes to it to me, at least if you're viewing it with someone, it's like a more communal thing.

It might not be as like, well, you jump and your popcorn and beer goes everywhere. I mean, that does happen. Right. But like it, it's more of. like a hang to me. Yeah, and it's a, you know, yeah, yeah, I don't know, yeah. I would argue that golf is more interesting than baseball. Golf is more what? Interesting than baseball.

Golf to me is like if aliens look down at Earth, they would be like, what the fuck is that more than any other sport? You hit a ball, then you go get it. and hit it again. And then you hit it again. You go get it and hit it again.

But it's just so basic they would get it, I feel like aliens would get it. The going to get it thing is... We're going to get it. You're trying to get it into a hole. You go and you grab it again and you go... I'm sorry, what did you say? You're not going to get it.

You're following it until you put it in the hole for that hole. I mean, that's... That's... But you keep saying... You go to get the ball. What's talking about? He's saying if you look at it from an alien's point of view, they'd be like, why are they going to get it?

They wouldn't be like, oh, a night iron. Yeah, no, I understand what I'm saying, right? Yeah, I do, I do. Okay. Oh, dude. Just fucking heated too. Yeah, I mean, loves golf, so I get it. I get it. And I'm not like, I don't hate, I don't really have feelings about golf, honestly.

I do find it boring. But that is like someone who doesn't understand baseball, looking at baseball being like, it's fucking boring. I'd rather watch golf than basketball or football, honestly. I can't, I can't watch pro basketball anymore. But I just don't like I'm not live live golf is terribly I keep fucking walking with the people It's like dude put a goddamn stadium in it you know making fucking golf around a circle arena Yeah yeah wow how weird would that be yeah I was gonna say I'm surprised they haven't done it yeah they have a new version that's like oh yeah they do right

It's like in a indoor thing no it's it's like a it's not Netflix golf has gotten really big in the past six years. Yeah, yeah, definitely. Definitely. Golf's fucking huge right now. Why? I guess I don't know. You would know better than me.

Well, for one, it was like a COVID sport that you could play. Right, I figured that. Like, now it's time for me to take up this. Yeah. And of the things you could pick from, that was one. Yeah, right. And then, I don't know. There's, like, really exciting players right now.

And it's just. Jack Nicholas. No, I think that guy might be retired. Arnold Palmer? I think he's dead. He's dead. Is Phil Mickelson still gone? He is.

Is he really? He plays for that Saudi. Oh, he's doing that thing. He does live golf, which is called Live Golf. And then he just had this scandal, which is so funny. Oh, that's heard. He's like a legendary dirtbag, right? Oh, I didn't know.

Who? Phil Nicholson. Okay. I didn't know that now. Yeah, he's like a big flirt. Yeah, sure. And I think even though, like, he may, I don't even know if he's married or not, whatever, but. Oh, he was married when I, I remember him doing this little bitch jump and hug his wife.

Remember? I'm not sure I do, but anyway. When he finally won the Masters, he did his little bitch jump? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So this story came out like two months ago where, um, his friend and like colleague another golfer named pat Perez was with his wife they're all at a

tournament and he invited them he was like where are you guys staying you know he's like why don't you come stay at the house that I have um and uh you know like give up the hotel like who cares it'll be fun like we could mm-hmm i can fuck your wife they they they get really drunk i already know where this is going pat Perez excuses himself to go to the bathroom and uh god he just very directly propositions the wife who's his friend he's just like after he goes to bed I want you to come into my room and I'll be waiting for you and then like shows him his phone shows her his phone it's a picture of him naked and fully erect just so you know just so you know I mean business and this isn't a joke well yeah how's that help is biz I mean even if he's how old

is this guy he's all he's up there that's full yeah he's like he's He's at least mid-late 50s, right? Not Phil, the other guy. Yeah, he's, I mean, he's, like, the same age as Tiger. Okay. Wow. How old's the lady? The lady?

I don't know. Let's say they're the same age. That's not cool. That's not a good friend. Yeah. Oh, he's 56. Jeez. That's not a good friend.

Phil Mickelson, you're a bad friend. It was Phil Nicholson that did it? Phil Mickelson. Phil Mickelson did it? Oh, I thought the other guy did it to Phil Mickelson. No, no, no, no. He did it to Pat Perez's life. Wow, yeah, that makes more sense.

Sure, of course, yeah. Jesus Christ. So how the fuck did it get known? Why would you want that to be out there? Well, you wouldn't, but things tend to get talked about. I think the woman came forward and said something, especially because this, this came out after he got kicked out of a country club that he belonged to for coming on to a woman that worked there. Oh, well, then that's why it came out.

So that happened. It was like news in the golf world that he got kicked out of one of his home country clubs. And then that woman came forward and was like, it doesn't end there with this guy. Jeez. This guy's got a chill. Phil Mickelson. I thought he was like 80. Fucking Chill Mickelson. All right.

Chill Dicklson. Chill dick on phone. you know you know all right thank you very much guys appreciate you come see me i'll be everywhere i'll be in buffalo i'll be in paris i'll be in stores of lynn oslo i'll be in berlin germany chrisley dot com biena austria london chrisley dot com thank you