Lifeline - 27. Fat

Episode Date: October 9, 2022

🔴 LIFELINE LIVE! OCTOBER 19th. Buy tickets at https://watchlifeline.com - a live digital event 🎧 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: apple.co/3NG2G2G 🔊 Subscribe on Spotify: spoti.fi/3NPUwoT 🔗 All our links: linktr.ee/watchlifeline 💚 Lifeline is the first podcast about you, hosted by Matt D'Elia & Chris D'Elia. Today we discuss getting romantically approached, compromise vs. sacrifice, if sharing dogs is a good idea, the perils of being the funniest guy in the room, sharing toothbrushes, drunk friends, and Christmas gifts for extended family. 👉 10% off Pure Spectrum CBD, use code LIFELINE at checkout purespectrumcbd.com 📆 Book 20 min or 40 min one-on-one sessions with Matt at mattdelia.com. Today we discuss lineage, boycotting football, divorced parents acting petty, finding your passion when you have a lot going on, an update from the Body Code man, and being content with aging.  🤳 Want to submit to Lifeline? Go here: forms.gle/EYbqjvyy1A9r728Y9 More LIFELINE: 📸 Instagram: instagram.com/watchlifeline 💃 Tiktok: tiktok.com/@watchlifeline Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Make your nights unforgettable with American Express. Unmissable show coming up? Good news. We've got access to pre-sale tickets so you don't miss it. Meeting with friends before the show? We can book your reservation. And when you get to the main event, skip to the good bit using the card member entrance.

Let's go seize the night. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamex. Benefits vary by car and other conditions apply. Runk. Lifeline is an advice show for entertainment purposes only. If you need real help or advice, please seek a therapist or licensed professional. Hello? Hello? Please seek a therapist or a licensed professional. Yeah, dude, it's Lifeline, episode whatever it is.

20 fucking... We don't know, dude. We just keep going. See, we're not in it for the numbers, right? We're in it for the art, you know? The art of the podcast. We're basically Guggenheim. Yeah.

It's the Guggenheim episode, everybody. Just this episode or what? No, we're always Guggenheim episodes. But I'll tell you this. You know what's going to be the crazy Guggenheim episode? I do. October 19th, your birthday. Yeah, I do.

We're doing Lifeline Live. And it's October 19th, Matt's birthday show. And you can get tickets below in the link in the comments. And you call in and we talk to you directly. And we can, you know, get more information about you and talk to you and bullshit you and bullshit with you. And it's going to be a lot of fun. So do that.

And we're going to have some sick ass, sweet ass, fucking pimping ass surprises too. Yeah, we will have surprises. And we are also going to, what was it that we decided? Signed merch for everybody that makes it actually on the show? Yes. Yes, that's what we're doing.

We're doing signed merch for everybody that makes it on the show of Lifeline. And that's what's up. October 19th, 6 p.m. specific. And watchlifeline.com that's what's up. October 19th, 6 p.m. specific. And watchlifeline.com is where you get tickets. That's watchlifeline.com.

You can get it down there in the link there. I am touring. Oh. Yay. I will be in Raleigh, North Carolina, Savannah,

Georgia, and Tempe, Arizona, Denver, Albany, Savannah, Georgia, and Tempe, Arizona, Denver, Albany, Cheyenne, Wyoming. Go get those tickets at ChrisDelia.com. And that, you want to do your thing?

MattDelia.com. Sabat a promo. What you do is you go to MattDelia.com, you sign up, you sign in, you get a fucking 20 or 40 minute advice session with yours truly mr fucking pimping pimping m diesel matt delia himself worst name uh and you come to me with your problems and i help you fucking solve them everybody thinks i'm a liar or no i don't think you're a liar everyone thinks i'm a liar i said i was going to only wear purple from now on and look what i'm wearing dude i'll do my uh pure spectrum cbd uh oil here you get

10 off i swallow it first before you do you gotta let it you gotta let it you know what i mean swallow it on your tongue you let it go on your tongue for 20 seconds but then wait just wait let me do my liar thing everybody thought it was a fucking liar okay because i was talking about how i'm only wearing purple now until at least the end of the year and look at me that's gonna be too much purple you started way too early look at your boy look at your kid go check it out so i let it ruminate i'll let it ruminate right there that okay i know okay so wow so we're all good yeah that's cool i'll let it ruminate and then fucking i'm chillaxing now you know that's what cbd does helps you chillax so uh yeah and go you can there's in the notes description you can get

10 off all your cbd needs and type in code lifeline. Anyway, dude, what's been cracking? Same old shit, man. You know what I mean? Yep. Same stuff. What's, what's cracking with you? I brought Calvin to the,

to the playground earlier today. And, you know, he's real good with, with all the shit. And then, and then he's in the jungle gym doing it. And then another kid shows up and he goes,

ah, dah, dah. And I'm like, no, just play with the fucking kid. Oh, okay. And I say, ask him. And then I say, and then I kid shows up and he goes ah dada and i'm like no just play with the fucking kid oh okay and i say ask him and then i say and then i say hey calvin say hi say hi and he goes hi to the kid and then i say say what's your name and he says i'm cal what's your name and then the kid doesn't do it back and then i'm like well the fucking you know at least like

fuck the kid can you work with me and then the dad's like mateo tell him you're mateo and then and the kids just fucking doing other shit. And I'm like, Calvin, ask him again. He's like, what's your name? I'm Calvin. And then the kid's just doing, literally, he just goes, da-doo, da-doo, da-doo, and starts grabbing his inner thighs to my son. What kind of fucking loser is that?

I don't know, but Mateo. That was Mateo? Yeah, and so, well, you know, it wasn't the dad. That would be hilarious. And so, Mateo, say it mateo oh fuck i got it calvin so um so anyway so then uh so now now i'm trying to get my you know my kid assimilated with other other people yeah yeah but he's still still early for i know i know he's two he's two he's two and a half so three is when they really start like hopefully like making

friends and sharing stuff and they sprout when they're three they fully bloom and sprout because right now like here uh here hold this perrier like right now this is what a two-year-old would do okay and you're like oh that's mine somewhere a three-year-old does like this kind of have that am i three two or how old am i you didn't give me direction yeah you could be three okay so i'm three can i have that can i have that no i want both i want mine can i have that can i have yours yeah they do like this i want that back that's what they do that is what they would do yeah so um yeah so which is a little bit you know more advanced so for sure i guess two to five is when the fucking crazy shit happens two to five is the sure. I guess two to five is when the fucking crazy shit happens. Two to five is the most important zone.

If two to five is fucked, then you are fucked. Yeah. Also- For the rest of your life. Yeah, true. But also you got to do skin to skin right when the baby comes out. Otherwise, you're pretty fucked too. What's that about though?

Like I've heard that and I believe it. I don't know, man. I just, what is it about? You know what it sounds like? It sounds like some fucking shit that they definitely do that they definitely do so much in hawaii you know well yeah you're saying because they don't usually always wear shirts down there okay yeah and they're like you have to you know oh like the spirit yeah yeah the spirit of the baby and the mother and the and this you have to get the baby and the spirit and the mother and the father and everyone that is has ever talked to the father needs to touch without shirts.

And there's like 350 people in a room. And then they're just like, oh. Okay. 350 people in the room. What, is it a fucking stadium? Yeah, for every birth. You know what I heard about fucking birth too, though? Like when they put the baby on the mother's chest the first time they they don't fucking cut the cord right away

oh really in hawaii no man everywhere oh no not not this is not specific to hawaii not for us what did they do with cow i cut the cord when um like three weeks ago i cut the cord as soon as he was born cut the cord and then they put it on okay put calvin on on mommy okay and then i i was jealous so i went i'll go like this too no i i after she had some time i took him oh okay i'm kidding how long was it on her chest before you took it on your chest uh you know i don't know 20 minutes was it weird just like stripping and taking off your shirt okay take off your shirt now dad is that what it was like uh yeah no krista was like take your shirt off and like do the skin to skin i was like fuck

yeah i'm all in you know okay yeah yeah and she was like no i'm not with the nurse i was like oh shit i'm sorry so the so the uh so cal's well adjusted now then yeah i mean he's great yeah what would he what would if if you didn't do that yeah would he be like rampaging right now yeah it's like burning houses down and fucking i'd be like yeah we'd be like what the fuck is going we'd be like what's that noise is he what is he playing fucking nine inch nails right i'll be like in his bedroom what is it i wanna fuck you like an animal. Looking at the ornaments in the crib, just like... There's a start. I wanna feel you from the inside. Oh, fuck.

Wow. Oh, bad acting. I'm good. Okay. Bad acting as a druggie. All right, cool. So let's do lifeline in the news all right now that we're all caught up so somber how you did it talk like this now because i fucked

my throat okay cool uh lifeline in the news here we go you go okay the library of congress sent lizzo those are the some those are words already that i just can't stand lent lizzo sent okay well i i yeah okay send it to her they lent it it to her. Well, the Library of Condest, Condest. The Library of Congress lent Lizzo a crystal flute which belonged to James Madison, the fourth U.S. president.

She was apparently the first person to play this flute saying, this is from the early 1800s, this was a gift to James Madison, almost rub, from a French crystal flute designer to celebrate his second term there was a fire and the only two things that were saved were a portrait of george washington

and this crystal flute right here we're priorities uh nine people burned alive we didn't grab them uh i am get the flute get the painting leave jeff um i am the first person to ever play it so you're about to hear what it sounds like for the first time. Thank you to the Library of Congress. History is freaking cool, you guys. Wow. You know what? Oh, that's the quote from Lizzo.

Yeah. Lizzo said all that. Yeah. Oh, you didn't do... Oh, she quoted it. She said all that. So that's a quote from... This is from the early 1800s.

This was a gift with the whole story. Okay. Here's the thing that my take on all this, first and foremost. The reaction I saw from people on the right, like conservative oh yeah i bet was so fucking stupid it was overboard yeah they got so mad why do you what i don't yeah what thank you this is what what this is a flute this is something you go like this to us fucking stupid or just like yeah well at most you go that's stupid yeah at least you go uh-huh yeah you know right so it's like that's the only good reaction from well at least you go wow that's great yeah at the least in the least you like the that on the other

end of the spectrum you go you go wow that's that's really great that America has come so far that we went to – they saved this crystal flute because it was so important in white America. And now you have an overweight minority woman of color playing this flute in front of thousands of people. How much America has changed? My, my, my. Right. But you don't say overweight anymore. You say fat because overweight presumes that there is a proper weight and she's over you say fat now she's over the weight that she should be but but but preferred it's preferred you call you say fat

it's over the weight that she should be okay but i'm just telling you call it say lardo person that's like oh it's so great for society what they would say about her is that she's fat so you did a bad sounds worse you did a bad acting i know is that she's fat so you did a bad sounds worse you did a bad acting i know but that's what you do you did a bad acting it's like how the the small person they want it's like that that doesn't sound right to me a lot of it doesn't sound right like remember when it was at least it has its own thing and now it's small person it's like oh okay well not a uh also uh yeah yeah they got terms for everything that's bad whatever so pretty soon you're gonna have to be like calling murderers like premature life takers yeah yeah yeah you can't fucking you

can't call murderers murderers wow that sounds like a fucking here at premature life takers um so uh we believe euthanasia so the advice here is just chill the fuck out yeah the advice here is chill but also the advice here is if you're going to save things from a burning building uh you know grabbing the crystal flute is maybe uh should be less on your priority this would all be fucking bypassed if you didn't save the fucking crystal flute i have a question though no who's the person that signs off on lizzo getting to do it and why has it never been played until now that is very weird what is this yeah like there were people like could i play that and they're like oh no and then and now they're watching liz and they go yeah i asked for you got you know you know what i mean like you got like fucking sam rockwell at

home like i wanted to fucking when i did green mile they were gonna do that on the bread carpet and now liz billy joel you know yeah i just don't get how you could care in any way it's not like some famous american artifact nobody even fucking knew about i know i know until lizzo played it i know people are mad about it it's not like fucking harriet tubman's fucking wardrobe she came out in which by the way i think that's more power to her but uh all right cool well let's do the next one people are going nuts after making these butter boards uh is is is that is that really what is that people are going nuts making these butter boards virals social media food trend of spreading butter or cream cheese on a cutting board adding some toppings and scraping it up with

bread or crackers you're fucking disgusting dude you do this if you're overweight and i said overweight not fat no both you're fat if you do that it's technically even if you're thin and you do that you become a fatty the preferred way to say it is fat lardo dude even obese is wrong i think it's fat i don't know man that's the preferred way that's disgusting if you're gonna do that you have to eat the whole board that's that's not and everything and say it. That's disgusting. If you're going to do that, you have to eat the whole board. That's not... The wood and everything and shit out splinters. It's weird because people are so obsessed

with health on social media and yet fucking motherfuckers doing this shit. Yep. It's awful. Don't do the board with the thing. Butter boards. It's also lazy, dude. Like they're like,

I don't want to butter it one by one. I just want to fucking butter a big thing and then scoop and scoop and scoop and scoop until I'm fucking fat. The thing about this is people will work so hard to be lazy. it's like you're doing all this work up front though yeah i know now i get the chip this is busy work you don't need to do it don't do it don't do busy work get the butter put it on the fucking thing and sprinkle some shit on it if you want each

bite you'll probably eat less of it if you do it one by one yep there you go you get halfway through with the board and you're like what i do with it now i gotta eat it and then you won't be a lardo and you'll be fucking fat as hell all right next one um tom brady and giselle what's your advice for super rich famous hot people going through divorce wow okay so um are they actually going through a divorce or what i know that she left him a little bit because he wanted to play another game again another game. Another game, you know? They hired divorce lawyers. They did. They hired divorce lawyers. He unretired. Yeah, I know that.

At 45. Right. Hey, man, just retire. I agree. You're old, dude. I agree. You have to retire at some point because it's football.

You know what I mean? It's not like you're a stand-up comedian or a fucking politician. Go out at the top and just be a young man now with a very beautiful wife and three great children. I agree. Go be a young man now with a very beautiful wife and three great children go be a really rich businessman or something like you have the so many fucking rings everybody knows

you're like the greatest fucking quarterback who ever lived the winningest at least like hang them up dude also i don't like the hanging them up and then being like oh wait wait wait don't announce the retirement jay-z retired at fucking 33 and now he's fucking and then he got then he got big dude fucking steven soderh retired from filmmaking, and then he made a movie later that year. Oh, really? It's so annoying. Yeah, that is annoying.

I don't know. It's like, make up your fucking mind, and then also just be a dad. But we don't know what's going on, man. Maybe they honestly don't really love each other anymore. We have no fucking idea. And if that's the case, then they should get divorced. Maybe. He kind of fucking-

But they have kids. He kind of fucking elbowed his previous girl out the way too when he met giselle you know about that right doesn't he have kids with another bridget moynihan yeah he's got an older kid with her bridget moynihan and he and he elbowed bridget out of the way and said i found a more pimping pimping bride yeah he's gonna start dating lizzo no doubt so he's gonna i mean and she's gonna play his crystal flute okay well anyway and the advice is i think we don't know private dude like i why is it always spilling out so much in the public yeah i know that's annoying yeah let them fucking be how about this is the vice for everybody else let them fucking yeah okay if you want to throw a ball let him throw a ball if

she wants to fucking throw the marriage away then throw the marriage away yeah you know all right well that's nice there you go for lifeline in the news. I could see him being a total fucking schmucko, though. Yeah, of course. Because anyone that successful has a high percentage of being a schmucko. Yeah. All right, let's go to the next one. Elon is going to buy Twitter after all. He is.

Oh, I didn't know this. All right, thoughts. Should he let Trump back on? Does it matter? Does anything matter? Here's what I think about Elon Musk buying Twitter. Okay. Okay.

That's my take on- Okay, why though? Because I do the fucking fuck cares who owns Twitter. Right, right. Elon Musk just happens to be able to make a story or fucking get a ton of attention about whatever, dude. You got to let if Twitter already is a fucking cesspool, you got to let everybody on it if you're going to let anybody on it or make actual strict rules where people like if Trump can't be on Twitter, then other there's so many other people that shouldn't be on Twitter. Agree.

That's the thing. It's like if there's going to be a rule, make it for fucking everybody, even the fucking even people who aren't Donald Trump. Like, that's the thing. It's like if there's going to be a rule, make it for fucking everybody, even the fucking even people who aren't Donald Trump. Like, that's the thing. The hypocrisy, the hypocrisy about Twitter is that it definitely leans left. And it does extremely. But it is a private company. That's just not. No, no, no.

I know that. I know that. So if some liberals own it and they're like, we don't want fucking right wing assholes on it, then that's their prerogative. I know that. I know that. I do know that that but right now it's bigger than than just a company it's the way the world runs so it's changing i know but you can't just have an exception for it's like i know that i know that you can't have just one company be like no no no

you can't do that but every other company can do whatever the fuck they want i know that but i think that this is what you're asking if elon should buy it if he's's going to buy it, what he should do, and this is what you should do. If you have a big company like this, I think it's your responsibility to make rules and make sure everybody abides by it. That's it. Because Trump got kicked off for shit that people are doing all the time every day. He's already said he's going to let Trump back on.

And what I think about the whole fucking thing is- All right, cool. So there's the advice. My advice for Elon is just fucking keep everybody with the same rules. Great. There you go. President or not. All right, cool. So there's the advice. My advice for Elon is just fucking keep everybody with the same rules. Great. There you go. President or not. All right, let's get into some video submissions.

Hey, Matt. Hey, Chris. I love you guys. And Chris, I cannot wait to see you in Savannah, hence the scad shirt and the fishes on the wall. My question for you is about dating. I hate dating. Dating apps are the bane of my existence. Men do not know how to approach women anymore. It's really frustrating. And I've

come to the conclusion that being a plus size woman who has confidence and has her life together, I think men find me intimidating. Like even my friends call me the mom friend of the friend group, which don't know what that means. I'm a little offended by that. And yeah, I just I don't know if it's me or if it's the men. So question number one, what do you think of intimidating women? And what is your approach? Do you shoot your shot? And two, I'm 25. And I'm fairly successful in my career. So like, I understand that can also be intimidating. Should I just shoot my shot and go for older men that also have their shit together? I don't know, but can't wait to watch the podcast and hear from you guys. Here's the deal.

Men really are, and I know this just, it's anecdotal, but a lot of men that I know, single men talk about how, how they are unwilling to approach women in real life because they assume that women are only taking, like, whatever, attention or accepting people like possible suitors on the dating apps. Oh, really? And first of all, I'm like, well, if that's fucking true, be the one only guy that does it in real life and fucking stand out. Yeah.

Second of all, moreover, the fucking thing about intimidating women is even more like these women don't get approached. Be the one guy that does, dude. You fucking stand out, make a fucking difference. though if you feel like you can have like whatever the fucking courage or the wherewithal uh or the willingness to approach men that you are attracted to the fucking absolutely do it don't go back if that's something you feel like you might want to do absolutely do that it's not like some no-no or something yeah no it's not a no-no but at least be like some sort of like at least you can at least make yourself seem more available without if you don't want to go right up to a dude and be like hey let's hang out sometime that's the extreme version of that which you can totally do and that's fine but there's also the

just standing around the guy thing that you can do because guys will just if you just look at them for too long they're like huh maybe we're supposed to be married right you know what i mean yeah um and so you can just do that but i do i do think for some guys it is intimidating when a woman has her shit together like that like you can just tell right off the bat like she just knows what she wants she's confident she's if she's successful that intimidates some guys you know especially if they're her age a lot of guys are 25 not they're not successful you know yeah not yet um but yeah what's wrong with going for uh you know successful

guys whether they're older or not nothing wrong with it if you but i'm saying if you don't want to do it then don't it's not like you have to do it because there will be that confident man or the man who's willing to at least approach you that you might like. Like that man is out there. There's more than one of those men out there. But like if you don't want to wait and you fucking see a guy that you do like, do it. Yeah. Walk up to him and just be like, time to conceive. Men are fucking real afraid right now well yeah so like yeah to the men out there like if you're not a fucking piece of shit if

you're not an asshole you don't have to be afraid there are women out there like this very very very fucking attractive young woman yeah that are like available for you to approach and if you get rejected who cares dude well if you get rejected who cares as the you're saying as the woman no i'm saying for the guys out there there's beautiful women like this out there what the fuck are you all doing dude if you see him in real life don't be like well i gotta find him online that's the opposite of the truth and you're just telling yourself that so you don't have to yeah well that's true yeah for the guys yeah that's true but uh i do think it is weird times and i do think that sometimes guys are scared to talk to a woman the guys yeah that's true but uh i do think it is weird times

and i do think that sometimes guys are scared to talk to a woman and i think that rightfully so even if they aren't a piece of shit that they that they should be because like workplace shit is just like don't do it yeah but that's separate i'm saying if you're at a fucking bar or coffee shop even just walking down the street just fucking be the one that stands yo what's up yeah saying yo what's up be be don't be the one that's a fucking afraid and thinks it has to be online uh but for the women out there such as the one i didn't catch her name but uh know that like try to take that into consideration these men are like afraid in general so it's not that like you're not a viable person to them you are they're just like

in their own i will say though in savannah georgia i'm sure it's pretty old-fashioned and guys are just fucking really yeah i mean i'll be in savannah soon you can go to chris leah.com for tickets and i'll see her wow plugging himself no no but i'm saying but that's what she said she did but then she plugged it right so but i think that um you know so it's probably very old-fashioned there i don't know for lack of a better term i believe you hey darling oh what's going on is that what savannah's like yeah savannah georgia you ever see that movie in the garden of good and evil the worst fucking movie no what is it a clint eastwood movie based on a book i forget who wrote it but it's like what's it like it's like this right it's very old-timey i'll meet you there's no way but kind of weird with like

yeah uh don't talk. Okay. Unless I'm... You just keep cutting me off with that accent. But don't speak unless spoken to. It's not worth it, but oops! Okay? What is it? Done. Wow. Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm done. See? And this is what

might be... It might be like this if you meet somebody and... It can be awkward at first. It can be awkward, but darling, you know? Hello, darling. hello darling exactly come here i'm old-fashioned put that phone down let's talk in real life let's look each other in the eye and touch yeah are you ready to splurt let's conceive let's touch i don't know if it's okay i gotta get your permission yeah yeah yeah yeah definitely do that okay next oh this short video probably won't do me justice in admitting that i am the funniest person in most rooms that i'm in which i'm sure you two can relate to so this is my question if you're the funniest person in the room and other people in the room catch up on why you're

funny and then they start picking up your mannerisms or delivery or pauses timing any of that and then start using back your own yeah personality on you i mean but shittily like three levels less funny or attractive or whatever you're going for than you than the originator so that's my question for one do you notice people do that two does it bother you because then then you almost have to reinvent yourself. Like, all right, now that funny shit that I had going on for years is no longer funny because of these fucktards. There you go. You got to keep it moving.

It's part of my language. I think we can swear, right? Believe me. But yeah, that's my question. People stealing from you, using your own shit back in your face, shittily, to do it or to not chant? What? Thanks for the show, guys.

Shittily. Yeah it or it's not can't what thanks for the show guys shittily uh yeah that's that that's been happening since oh okay uh oh a ghost a ghost coming all right cool go ahead yeah i just i mean that's if you're funny that's been happening your whole life get fucking used to it man yeah yeah and it's i think it's good because it makes you be funnier and funnier because people will try they'll like it they'll do it they'll ruin it or they won't or just you fucking keep doing it it can be annoying i get it remember when i was in high school i would i would i had like this thing that i would do i don't even remember what it was at this point i genuinely don't remember what i was but tim chung would do it and i would be like oh i remember what it was it's a fucking so hard to explain but we was like remember that whole thing where we'd be like

yeah anyway uh we would do that yeah so tim chung would do it i'd be like bro you gotta stop doing that man you brought you brought you you fucking confronted him yeah what do you say he was like why and i was like because it just it it's what i do and like it fucking makes me not want to do it whoa and that's so ridiculous that's so confrontational yeah i was it was on the phone but you guys fight no no no and he was like so i can't do it he's like i can't do it i was like i don't know man it's just like when i do it i feel like i'm doing it like you're doing it now and i want to do it the way i do it i mean it's so ridiculous i was fucking 15 you know so dumb anyway yeah yeah exactly yeah yeah yeah wow so stupid so anyway it was so stupid but that's what

happens you got to reinvent yourself but by the the way, dude, once a second, the second people catch up with your funny shit, it's old. It's old anyway, man. But here's the thing. If they're doing it, as he says so eloquently, shittily, then just keep doing it because you're the only one doing it well. Non-shittily. Yeah.

Be the only one that does it funny. Yep. Yeah. Also, you know, it'd be hilarious if he sent his video in and all of his friends were watching the video. And they're like, this guy, he's not even the funny one. Right. He's the one that takes from the funny guy. He's a taker, dude.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that all you got to do is just keep plowing ahead, dude. And also, well, I make a career of it, right? Like, you know, funny is like I go on stage and I make jokes. But like, so I got a whole fucking internet. People are saying like, Sadi stage and I make jokes. But like, so I got a whole fucking internet. People are saying like Sadiq-er this and that. Yes, yes, yes.

You know, making saying white rips. People say it to me online. I don't like that. Everybody stop, dude. But Sadiq-er is our thing. But they say it to me. It's not even something I made though. Oh, but it's your thing too. But they don't do it.

They don't do it? They're saying it to me and they're like not doing it right. Oh, they don't do it right often. But that's what he's talking about. They're like not doing it right oh they don't do it right often but that's what he's talking about they're doing it what alas shittily so you'd be the funny one see now you're this guy in the video right no i'm not okay but i think just keep doing it do it the right way you know people fucking you know they want they want to be like things that they think are funny totally take it as a fucking compliment because it is it is a compliment taking your shit because they don't have their own and yours is funny that's why they want to take it whatever it's not the big of a deal it's not over it dude okay worst therapist fucking get over it

all right cool get over yourself dude wow worst therapist all right funniest guy in the room get over it get over yourself okay very mean next one it get over yourself okay very mean next one beautiful hair matt my name is neely i'm from oklahoma city um i'm a huge fan of y'all chris would love if you did a show in oklahoma city sometime um anyways my question is so my fiance we actually just got engaged a couple weeks ago but the other day i noticed that my toothbrush was wet and we've been together for almost seven years. Whoa. And I noticed my toothbrush was wet and I was like, I didn't brush my teeth.

So I went up to him and I was like, did you use my toothbrush? Cause he didn't have his. And he was like, yeah, I, yeah. And I was like, that's disgusting. And he's like, no, it's not. So I guess my question is like, maybe Chris, would you do that with Kristen?

Or is that disgusting? Or is it normal? Cause we've been together so long. Should I not be grossed out by that? I think it's gross, but whatever. Let me know what y'all think. It's the bane of my existence right now.

Why? Because I, and let me tell you why. All right. I, I like my shit. You know me, right? Okay. My shit's my shit right now. Why? Because I, and let me tell you why, all right? I like my shit. You know me, right? Okay. My shit's my shit.

Okay. If you want to drink some of my drink, it's yours now, okay? Let me just chill, have my shit. There's very few things that you get to just kind of experience in your own body. And brushing your teeth, that's one of them, okay? So I've noticed the same thing my toothbrush wet i walk over i'm like you know this has been like two years now i'm like kristen did you use my toothbrush and she's like oh yeah and i'm like oh okay well that's disgusting so what where's

your toothbrush she's like i couldn't find it and then i go look for two minutes and i find it right so look a little bit harder for your toothbrush also don't lose a toothbrush also if you lost your toothbrush walk around with a dirty mouth that's your penance here's the other thing too i bought and i'm not joking 20 toothbrushes i bought 20 toothbrushes this way oh kristen these gold ones are mine i bought them all the same the gold ones are mine and you have your blue one okay okay did you buy her a bunch of blue ones or no no i got her she has a blue one and i got her she's also there's also like a green one and a red one if she wants to use it and like dude she'll just like willy-nilly take one of the gold ones and bring it in the shower which is fine because i'm like okay hers is in the shower mine's out here and then i gotta bring mine in the shower i bring

mine in the shower and then i put it down like then I got to bring mine in the shower. I bring mine in the shower. And then I put it down. I'm like, wait a minute. Which one's mine? The gold ones are mine. Dude, it's so gross to use someone else's toothbrush. And let me tell you why. Not because of the brushing the teeth. Because some people brush their tongue. Dude.

That's disgusting. But you fucking, you're macking all the time on each other. Hang on. If you're macking, if you're fucking got your mack on and you're macking nonstop with your mouth on the other one, macking away, what the fuck is the difference between that and sharing a toothbrush? The staleness. The staleness.

Okay. Staleness is fresh ass toothpaste on it. Macking is about fresh kissing, mix of saliva. Yeah. Beautiful temperature. Yeah. You know, my temperature of my mouth is meeting your temperature of your mouth. Okay.

This is love making okay okay using a stale toothbrush that someone else brushed their fucking tongue on or got the fucking lettuce out of their teeth come on with that but it's the realness and that's why you don't like it because you don't like the realness which is what it actually is which is what i'm talking about but like who cares you're not you're not seeing it happen like i don't know that shit only grosses me out when like i'm visualizing it or seeing it everyone who cares walking through the door that's who cares a marching band of people who care looking for that i don't like that i don't like that well it's the truth i don't like that you did that that's fine what's this we're opening the garage somebody i drove out with a bunch of people in it

dude it's just disgusting you don't think it's disgusting and here's the other thing i really actually don't i really just i don't yeah if i was gonna pick somebody to do this with it would be kristen of course exactly which is why it's not gross it's still gross it's not gross dude it's not gross she should divorce you that you think it's gross that means you don't love her if you loved her you wouldn't fucking care dude does she care that's yours no because she actually loves you she care that's yours no because she actually loves you you're not gonna sing this song okay so insecure now just me oh just you yeah uh no i just i don't i don't think it's gross and if you think it's gross i think that's weird that's just my take on it dude i don't know what to say it's like you're macking away. You mack all the time

on each other's mouths. Like, who fucking cares, dude? I'm not even macking. Also, how annoying is it to me getting all the toothbrushes

and then her still using for my toothbrushes? That's a bit like, is she trying to push your buttons? I mean, it's a little bit. Yeah,

it's like, that's like gangster shit. Yeah, that is actually. It's pretty baller to be like, I'm going to use the gold ones. You know how many gold toothbrushes are around my bathroom right now?

For real. They're all, I mean, I'll take a picture of it and I'll send it in. Is there a way to put like a label on it? Like a tape with a letter on it? Frankly, I don't think that that would matter. Yeah, but we do have a label maker.

Yeah. You have a label maker? Try it out, dude. Okay, I'll try it out. And same advice for this woman. But it sounds like he gets the idea now like i would imagine that if you call your partner out on it for doing it that they don't like it that they would stop obviously kristen's such a fucking hard-ass baller doesn't want to do that

this woman's husband might actually respect her wishes and stop so maybe you don't even need advice i don't know man all right cool anyway next at chris what's up man i just got a quick question if i want to start comedy where what has one on his pubes yo i can't because i got a bone to pick with chris man every time you talk about jacksonville you two or they just speed past it like a homeless guy you don't got any tit in your car you heard like you talk about it like a 40 year old guy talks about getting his prostate checked i need you to put some love on jacksonville's name on the tour dates man you just be that's all i said you know so i just need to know like we love you down here dog and also i love it too hard my girlfriend watches this podcast

dude wow definitely had a hair nut on his pubes too i think i think uh i think well i i speed past it you know why because it's fucking the last one that i have and i and i i'd like i feel like i'll i'll start giving it love as it moves on i will be in jacksonville chrislea.com but the thing is i i know it's the last one and it's also selling very well so why don't you tell him how you feel about jacksonville so he doesn't have his feelings i love jacksonville you ever been uh florida no I know it's the last one, and it's also selling very well. Why don't you tell him how you feel about Jacksonville so he doesn't have his feelings hurt? I love Jacksonville. Have you ever been?

Florida, no. I've been to Jacksonville, North Carolina. The north of Florida is pretty fucked up, honestly. Never been? Yeah. Jacksonville, to be honest, if I was going to live there, it would be... Is Jacksonville the north of Florida?

Depression, yeah. Oh, okay. I was staying at live there, it would be- Is Jacksonville in the north of Florida? Depression, yeah. Oh, okay. I was staying at a Radisson Inn once, and the show was in the Radisson Inn. Whoa. Yeah, imagine. Whoa, that's fucking weird, huh? Yeah. Fucked my back up so hard that trip.

How come? Just woke up one day, and it was fucked up. Jacksonville? Jacksonville? And I'm talking about I couldn't move, dude. That's the worst. I couldn't move. And I finally sucked it up, did the show, got heckled so hard, no security.

I mean, just fucking, it probably had to do because the show was in the Radisson Inn. But yeah, it was definitely not, you know, the only thing I did every day, I was there for the weekend, I walked to Whole Foods. And there wasn't even a sidewalk to it. It was like you had to like go over swamp, you know, only thing i did every day i was there for the weekend i walked to whole foods and there wasn't even a sidewalk to it it was like you had to like go over swamp you know it's like florida oh yeah why is florida like that you gotta like walk over overpasses and it's so weird dude also florida will have like legit like swamps like like as big as this room and they're just there in the middle of the whole area? Yeah.

And it's, like, literally, like, fucking Ikea is, like, within walking distance. And you're like, why is there a swamp here? There's, like, toads and lily pads and shit. Fucking Frodo's there. It's so weird. Anyway, I do love Jacksonville, but mostly because you can collect bags in Jacksonville. But anyway, next one. What up, boys?

So close. So close. Finishing up some cardio. What's up, guys? Sorry, strong guys. But, so I have a question. So I'm getting married in like seven months, right? And the thing my fiance keeps telling me is jerking off it's not all about

you i know you love to dance but it's not all about you it's my wedding you know it's my time to shine which i am i get it you know but i am kevin bacon from footloose i like your boy likes to dance i like it and she's clearly one of the rest of the carnies in that city and doesn't enjoy dancing as much as I do. So my question is, should I, you know, be considered and not dance as much to steal the start spot? Like, because I clearly would. This is hilarious. Or do I just dance because this is the biggest,

most expensive party I'm ever going to have, so might as well live it up. All right, guys. Appreciate y'all. Life rips. That's right, it does does my first piece of advice is start watching footloose less than he does but i think watch it more beyond that dude dance as much as you want at your own wedding what the fuck is this woman trying to do also don't marry her no i think the hilarious this is hilarious that you're like asking someone not

to dance is the most symbolic thing of all time like dude i just need to dance and she's like no yeah divorce her like he's like give me all your money and she's like boom like putting the fucking finger in them and okay everything's not bro dance dance is the one thing you're supposed to be able to do whenever you want you let loose it symbolizes freedom say is this kuwait to her i don't know if they can dance or not but sounds like they can't but like wow dude profiling kuwait so yeah i do it and dude i just that is so be like babe the one thing i like to do is dance let me dance please everything else can be for you but in this wedding when they play fucking shout or whatever terrible song what i'm gonna play at the wedding songs dude when they go a little bit louder now you spin me right around baby right

around that's such a wedding song. Is it? Yeah, dude. Yeah, dude. Don't say no. No, I don't know. I don't think so. Proceed.

Keep going. Don't. Where's childhood? You spin me right round, baby, right round. And I'm making work around and around. Actually, they just say the same words over and over again. You didn't need to do the Western bacon. Yeah.

Dude, we used to think that was the Western Mac and Becken. Yeah. Dude, we used to think that was the Carl's Jr. thing. Yeah. Western Mac and Becken cheeseburger. No, it was the guy that you were working with

that one time. Remember? Oh. That he said, is that the Western Mac and Becken cheeseburger? Oh, yeah,

dude. Yeah. Is that the Western Mac and Becken cheeseburger? Yeah, yeah. Just added Mac and. Adding.

Wow, idiot, dude. You spin. Mac and, you know,ck and. Adding. Wow, idiot, dude. You spin. Meck and, you know? Meck and. Yeah. You don't say that.

It does kind of, it is kind of nice in there, though. Western Meck and Becken cheeseburger. It sounds cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got nice with it. Yeah, dance, dude. You got to tell her, dude, if I get, go walk up to her. This is your advice.

Walk up to her and be like, look, or work on a dance, just spring it on her, show it to her, and then be like, that's what I want to do at the wedding. Is that okay? I need to dance, dude. I need to dance. I think you also need to ask her, honey, why don't you want me to dance? She doesn't want him to take away from her day. It's his day too.

I know, but dude, when you get married, it's like you've got to kind of shut the fuck up as the groom. I don't trust this woman, dude. This is going to go badly, man. No, you do know her. I don't. I do not trust this woman for you. I like this guy. He seems like a good guy, sweet-hearted guy, loves to dance.

I just don't. I'm not on board with this marriage. You could say dance with me. You know what? It is. She doesn't like the way he dances. Well, yeah, he probably dances terribly. He probably dances silly. Yeah, and it probably sucks, to be perfectly honest. He probably sucks like the way he dances. Well, yeah. He probably dances terribly. He probably dances silly.

Yeah. And it probably sucks, to be perfectly honest. He probably sucks at dancing. Yeah. You suck at dancing. Yep. Dance better. Your wife would love it.

Yep. All right. Next. Same guy. Hey, Matt. Hey, Chris. Chris out of Houston, Texas with take number four coming at you. Why is this so dangerously driving and doing this video?

Let's drop on beards. Let's drop on beards. My other work phone did a ding right when I was about to be done. So I hate that. Cool. Uh, wanted to get your advices on Christmas gifts for the extended family. A lot of nieces and nephews,

their parents don't necessarily get our kids Christmas gifts. Uh, not a big deal, but, um, just wanted to get your thoughts with the holidays coming up right around the corner. Things are expensive.

Uh, we live away from family. Most of them are up in Michigan and Ohio. And anyway, just wanted to get your thoughts on buying Christmas gifts for your entire extended family. Should you do it or should you save those bags for later? Anyway, thank you, guys. Love what you're doing. Dude, if they don't do it for you, definitely don't do it for them. Yeah, but i also

think that christmas should be about you know i i don't i don't think it should necessarily be about gift giving i think it's nice to do that with your immediate family your kids your wife your your sister your brother or something if you have an older brother maybe getting something nice you know what i mean um but this the the people you meet up with i I think Christmas should be about family. You know? I mean, you look at them, you go, if Vin Diesel says Fast and Furious about family, if Fast and Furious is about family, then definitely Christmas is about family. Nobody's giving each other gifts in Fast and Furious.

You didn't see fucking Vin Diesel give Tyrese a fucking sundial. You didn't see that because it's about family. So basically, Christmas is treat them more like Fast and Furious. You're talking so fast right now, dude. I wasn't mac and cheese burger you're just like eliminating words you're limiting half everyone got it everyone got it yeah i got it but i'm just getting worried oh i'm gonna fart dude i think i think it should be more about family and honestly you know for the immediate family the people that be basically the people that you've decided to share your life with every single day and look at them or anybody that came out of your nutsack or your vagina that is who you get the gifts for okay anybody that splits blood with

you maybe i get something for you you get something for me nice right yeah but besides that it's about family it's about eating a turkey fucking drumstick with each other uh don't he said in the video that they don't get your kids anything right well that's so this very simple answer is deal breaker do not get them anything there's nothing else to it don't be like the better person and get gifts they don't even they don't fucking respect you enough to get presents for your kids the better person you don't do it in this situation is the moment you're going to be poor so you know don't fucking spend your money as a better person if they're not being fucking yeah dude no save that money to spend on your own kids and their gifts i agree fully yeah fuck them okay fuck them all we're serpents christmas christmas is about

fuck them all get them get them a card anyone opens, fuck you. You didn't get shit for my kids. All right, next. Chris, Matt, what's going on? My name's Marcus. Love the podcast. Chris, I love your podcast. I've been watching it for a long time. Thanks, bud. Here's my question.

Do I let my ex-girlfriend see the dog we raised together? Oh, man. After a breakup breakup even though we had an agreement because we had two dogs that one person gets one dog and another person gets the other dog and she gave up her dog and she wants to come see the other dog because she helped raise it what do i do i have a very hard line about this me too go ahead what no me too you can't do it yeah and if it comes down to it quite frankly you got to give the dog to her agree because i know how heartbreaking that is i've had to do that once crazy ass fucking girlfriend i it was like well no well why don't you keep this one dog and i'll just take and i was like i know you you're so fucking crazy yeah

you're gonna use that as a wrench to get back into the fucking mix take them sayonara i'm sorry dude i love you but like you got to go with the crazy woman now yeah mine wasn't crazy but i i i we broke up she left me so deeper and um you know uh and she took and and she she moved out i got the dog and we were gonna kind of like she was like i'll see the dog sometimes and then and then like a year went by the dog literally helped me through the breakup and then she was like she got a new relationship and she was like i want to have the dog wow i was like oh fuck it was either that or separate the visitations. Fine. You know?

Yeah. Separate the visitations. And then I was like, okay. I was on the road. I was starting to do the road a lot. So I was like, just keep the dog. And then she kept the dog. And it was better for the dog, I guess, because I was on the road and shit.

And she probably. Better for you too. Why? Because you didn't have to deal with the crazy mess. Right well yeah the messiness yeah the messiness yeah the yeah um and so i give the dog up and i miss that dog even still but you know as time moves on it gets a little better i say give give her the dog it's probably better for the dog to be with the other dog anyway right or or if you insist on keeping the dog tell her she can't see it you guys had a fucking deal.

You had an agreement, right? She's trying to fucking inch her way back into your life. This is not the way to do it. If she wants that, she needs to come out right and say it. She wants to see the dog? Too fucking bad. You want to be business about it. I want my dead dog to come back to life.

It just is not how life works. Right, right. You made a deal. You got to stick to it. You experienced a death, sweetheart. You gave up your dog. The dog's dead to you. Yeah.

We had a deal. Yeah yeah be a hard baller read fucking the deal art of the deal and then fucking and then you'll have the confidence right that's trump yeah just like this okay hello you know go like this we had a deal yep that's right we had a deal the dog's mine bitch yeah

if you'd like to make a call message C4 alright so stupid that used to happen in the 80s okay not C4

because that's dynamite next one uh oh art film I love Lifeline look at that jacket you can get chrisslee.com is the best and you've gotten me through some really hard times sweetheart Uh-oh. Art film. Noir. I love Lifeline. Look at that jacket you can get. Congratulations.

Chrisley.com. It is the best. And you've gotten me through some really hard times, Chris. So thank you. Keep it up. I just wanted to get some advice on a drunken friend that I've had for a really long time. Drunken? We used to party together.

She got a DUI, learned absolutely nothing from it. Wow. Beautiful. And I ended up getting a DUI and changed my life. And I'm now seven months sober. Beautiful. She always pushes alcohol on me, even though she knows that I can't be drinking. Boo.

I don't want to be drinking. Not a good friend. And the last time that she came over to my house, she totally ditched me. I made her dinner, and we were supposed to paint. So I got all that stuff ready and then she left. She promised she'd be back. And then like an hour and a half goes by and she didn't show back up. So I'm just wondering what I should do.

Should I just stop being her friend? Should I talk to her about these things even though it probably won't get better? Probably won't. Or should I just find some new friends? Get rid of the negative toxicity in my life and just find people that want to hang out with me for me so i just want to have a silly goose time yeah without alcohol yeah it seems to be hard it's tough so thanks guys see you 5th, Chris in Denver. And yeah. Chris.com Denver. I think

She's not, I know we use this term loosely and we think of our friends as people who they've always been. So and so has been my friend forever, but there comes a time sometimes that person ceases to be your friend because they are not treating you the way a friend treats

another friend. This is an instance of that. This girl is not be your friend because they are not treating you the way a friend treats another friend this is an instance of that this girl is not being your friend you had a whole fucking plan you went out to get paint supplies she promised she's gonna come back she goes out and probably fucking gets drunk and just ditches your ass dude she's trying to get you to drink even though you're sober this is not this is not what friends do she's had her own fucking problems she's trying to fucking pawn them off on you or bring you back from fucking health into the depths of the addiction. And this is not good.

A preacher. I am a preacher, dude. Into the depths of the addiction. She has ceased to be your friend. Yeah, dude, it's true. She's not your friend. Yeah, I agree. I think it's a bigger issue than just that.

I think that this person is suffering from addiction and it's a lot harder for her than than it is for you she also doesn't want to stop and she doesn't want to stop right she has not hit the she has not hit the proverbial rock bottom yeah dude and uh i feel like um you got to be there as a friend you might want to mention something it might not help but it might and you know you might be the rock bottom she needs like look i i want nothing i want nothing to do with you this you're you're affecting my life so much and it's tough man it's really tough to see your friends and suffer from addiction and because it affects your relationships because also you're sober and you're you suffer from addiction, you know, if you do. And it's tough. It's just, you know, that disease is destroying that lady's life.

And you owe it to her as a friend to maybe mention it to her. And if she's going to react the way she reacts, then that's on her. And that's just how it's going to have to be. And that sucks. But yeah, dude, that sucks, man. I mean, like, you want it to paint, dude. You're talking about somebody that isn't allowed to dance and somebody that isn't allowed to fucking going to have to be. And that sucks. But yeah, dude, that sucks, man. I mean, like you want it to paint, dude. You're talking about somebody that isn't allowed to dance and somebody that isn't allowed to fucking paint

all on this episode. The world's a sad place. What you got to do is dance and paint. And I'm serious. The difference between these two people though is that I feel if my heart goes out to this woman, my heart does not go out to the dance guy. Why?

I don't care about that guy. I care about her though he's he's not a good dancer he needs to get better at dance he's probably not a good dancer but you think she's a good painter but paintings this is not she's not in the same situation you're saying it's therapeutic you don't think this is therapeutic she didn't she didn't her friend didn't not come back because she was like oh so and so is not a good painter yeah yeah i got you you know what i'm saying right uh so it's like apples and oranges but uh dude yeah there are other people out there who are sober who or even those who are not sober who treat sober people with the

respect that they fucking require yeah this woman is disrespecting you she's not your fucking friend right she just is not i know i get. But you don't think this is therapeutic? That's my advice I'm saying. That looks pretty therapeutic. I'll be honest. I can't believe it. An old lady that can't believe it. Oh, fuck. Wow.

Dude. I can't believe. That's really the best one ever. That's really the best one ever That's really the best one ever dude An old lady that can't believe Wow dude Holy shit Holy shit dude Oh fuck man wow dude i love when you do it when you're like when you when you do it but you you do it prematurely

not you but like whoever's doing it and they say can't believe it and then they fix it and say an old lady that can't believe it and it comes out faster because they're so excited yeah yeah fuck man oh fuck it was already hot in here now i'm fucking just oh first draft nelly first it was already hot in here now it's too hot wait a minute what about if it's just hot oh shit all right cool got a little light hit it yeah fuck man yeah all right all right cool you got another one or what fucking next one last one to drive it on the last one so drunk chris goes this is the last one got electrocuted most beautiful hair of all time hey matt hey chris uh i'm jess a 31 year old woman from montreal canada and i'm seeking advice for relationship breakups like how to go through a breakup when you're still like deeply in love

with the person and what the difference is between compromises and sacrifices in a relationship yeah yeah thanks i mean a sacrifice is something you actually give up a compromise is something that you meet halfway on or meet somewhere in the middle on. Compromise is like, well, I like to do it this way. And then she's like, well, I like to do it that way. And then you figure out a way that it works somewhere in the middle of both of those.

A sacrifice is like, you know, you quit smoking for somebody. You stop staying out late for somebody. You stop drinking for somebody, whatever. Sacrifice is you cut something out of your life compromises you meet you meet in the middle yeah i mean i feel like the the sacrifices i look at it as giving gifts you know like here's the deal dude if you both want to go on vacation uh next year well they broke up right that's what she's saying she's saying advice on breakups because i'm really still in love with right but uh so the her ex so is she still with them

no no they broke up and she's still so i think assuming yeah so like next year say we're a romantic couple right we're a romantic couple no you don't have to say it but like just think that we are right and then like like we fuck sometimes and we go on vacations and stuff you yeah yeah i mean i'm like you know whoever you're with two people but yeah that's for us for the example but yeah you're a woman and i'm just like you got big tits and stuff now we're talking okay yeah so um so anyway we we we i want to go to mexico on vacation next year you happen you happen to want to go to sweden i'd rather go to sweden okay so you know i'm like okay well where do you want to go second because i don't want to go to sweden you don't want to go to

mexican right no matter how big your tits are i want to go fucking i want to go somewhere else right because i don't want to sweden so you say well what about you know uh what about majorca spain okay but okay what about japan no that's not really like sweden or okay all right cool so i'm uh your tits are big but um and Okay, all right, cool. So you're such a big, but... And you try to whittle it down until you go to a place where you compromise where you want to go, right? Yeah.

That's an awful thing to do. Oh. And I will tell you why. This year, we go to Sweden. Of course. Next year, we go to Mexico. Now, you're just a big about places. But what we do is compromise but it's

but it but it's it's a bit of a sacrifice so isn't it but it's a bit of a sacrifice so isn't it i mean it is because i don't get to do what i want this year but i'm giving you a gift we'll go to tokyo this year and you give me a gift next year so you came up with the one example that proves that i'm not exactly right all the time is that all you've done but what i'm saying is if you look at it if you reframe it in your mind instead of saying a sacrifice as i'm giving a gift to my partner and this benefits us both right because i want my partner to be happy and i'm going to be happy i'm just you know going to be giving a gift instead of actually doing what i want to do and that's fine and no big deal right but as you can see your titties bounce all over the okay man stop with the titties part because that's neither here nor there, okay?

Not for me, but. But, yeah, I mean, I actually don't know how this relates in her mind, the compromise, sacrifice, and the breakup thing. But, yeah, compromise is, sacrifice is much more like dramatic. A compromise is a thing you need to be able to do to make a relationship last long right you know uh sacrifices are what make relationships exist at all in any form yeah you know um but about breakup advice fuck that guy if you broke up you probably broke up for a reason and it's probably good

um the thing about young people and reason and it's probably good. The thing about young people, and I know it's not like we're fucking old, but like really young people, like under 25. Well, she's 31. She was 31? Well, she looks 22.

I know. But 31 is still pretty young. But I think that the older you get, the more experience you have, the more relationships you're in, the more likely you are to recognize the fact that the feeling of oh my god i'm never going to meet someone i love that much again i'm never going to meet someone who puts up with this and that thing about me it's just not true because you're going to and you know this because you have done it right before over and over and it's always true it's always true that you will find someone else yep it's never not true

do you believe in the one that's got the one that got away absolutely fucking not really yeah dude wow it is it is a fucking fallacy that is not true the one ah that's the one that got away like that that's not an accurate assessment of reality you can think that because our minds are wired to make narratives out of our own lives but that's not accurate in any way. Wow. There's no such thing as the one that got away. So there's maybe like the two or three that got away, but maybe I'll find another one. You absolutely will find another one as long as you're not just fucking in the past hung up on the one that got away.

The thing your brain is making up on for whatever fucking reason. It's only as true as you allow it to be. Yeah. the thing your brain is making up on for whatever fucking reason you know yeah it's just it's it's not it's only as true as you allow it to be yeah okay yeah okay yeah you're probably right about that so you don't believe in soulmates no no i don't even believe in souls and there you have it everyone yeah I don't believe in souls. Yeah. I mean, soulmates, it's like I believe that people mean it and believe it when they're in a relationship with someone they feel so deeply connected to. But if that relationship were to crumble, guess what? You ain't fucking soulmates.

So there's no version of the soulmate that gets away because soulmates don't get away if your relationship starts to crumble just trust in god hell yeah dude gotta bring it back to gn this is the earthquake show you either have sacrifice or compromisation all right well all right well that's it dude good way to end i guess we had a good time uh you want a one-on-one advice session with mac or to mattalia.com guess we had a good time. You want a one-on-one advice session with Matt, go to mattdalia.com. Book him up. Book him up. I'm getting full, baby.

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