Lifeline - 35. Dream Hero

Episode Date: December 4, 2022

🤳 Want to submit to Lifeline? Go here: forms.gle/EYbqjvyy1A9r728Y9 👉 This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/lifeline 👉 Get a 60-day free trial at shipstation.com/lifeline. Thanks to ShipStation for sponsoring the show! Today we discuss dating when your Mom lives with you, how to know when to end a relationship that's not bad, getting your stuff back from an estranged friend, parking spot trouble, and being comfortable with the spotlight. Plus, an update from one of our new favorite people: Axel. 🎧 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: apple.co/3NG2G2G 🔊 Subscribe on Spotify: spoti.fi/3NPUwoT 🔗 All our links: linktr.ee/watchlifeline 💚 Lifeline is the first podcast about you, hosted by Matt D'Elia & Chris D'Elia. 📆 Book 20 min or 40 min one-on-one sessions with Matt at mattdelia.com. More LIFELINE: 📸 Instagram: instagram.com/watchlifeline 💃 Tiktok: tiktok.com/@watchlifeline Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Because not necessarily, if you can sell like 2,000 tickets at a club date, like your Thursday, Friday, Saturday, that's a – you say, okay, then I can do a theater that's 2,000 seats, but not necessarily because you're going on sale for just that one night on Saturday. Getting all people – getting people all in on one night getting all those 2 000 people those 2 000 fans to go one night is a way different story isn't that interesting so now are we doing a boring are we doing boring on purpose stuff i feel like people would want to know that the insides of doing stand-up uh they do but there was no context before you said any of that stuff so nobody knows what you you were talking about. They do. I'm talking about clubs versus theaters and when comedians make the jump from clubs to theaters.

I wasn't listening. You're welcome. Your hair looks fantastic today. Okay, I won't touch it. But why does it look so nice? You washed it? I didn't wash it. It looks beautiful.

See, that's what I'm saying. If you don't wash it for long enough, it comes back around. Oh, really? And it's beautiful. I didn't know that. Bring up my dates here so I could plug them and then all the other stuff. Oh, so I didn't actually care about my hair. But that's beautiful, beautiful hair.

So I'll be in Tulsa. No, but that's really great. You look great. You look great today. And you know what? I'm kind of feeling like I look great too. You do. You actually look great.

Thanks very much. Actually, before we started, first thing I said was, that's a really great shirt. And you said what? I knew you'd like it. And I said, said no you didn't i'm not predictable and then what did you say i forget what happened after that that was the part you said oh yeah you're a predictable bitch oh yeah okay right so i was mean but i will tell you this yeah i had a uh daydream you have daydreams you know obviously you have we have daydreams and

shit but i was driving over here and i was thinking matt's gonna say he likes this shirt and i'm gonna say and i daydreamed you i'll give it to you you can have it you didn't say that no i know but and i and i was and i daydreamed me giving it to you after the podcast and you having it and i don't think i'm gonna do that so yeah but that's what i daydreamed so you date your daydream self is like way nicer than your real self? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah. But it's also way, way worse too because I'll daydream sometimes just mowing people down with a car.

Yeah, that's what I was going to say. It's usually, my daydreams usually consist of me doing things that are not as nice as I am in real life. Yeah, I do both. But don't you also daydream like saving people's lives and stuff? Yeah, but that's not nice.

That's like so I can be a hero, you know? You're not a dream hero. you know you're not a dream hero yeah you're not a dream hero we could call that episode dream hero we could do that um i'm gonna speaking of selling tickets and stuff speaking of heroes speaking of heroes i'll be in san diego on january 7th uh get your tickets there sandiegocrisalea.com i got brea improv coming up uh just some club dates just just just you know having some fun at some club dates portland oregon i'm going to be there seattle washington i got two shows january 21st and january 22nd seattle washington i can't wait

to come to mccall hall lakeland florida and daytona and jacksonville the 26th 27th and 28th san antonio tex, Texas, February 3rd. And keep it moving. Sugar Lid, Texas, New Orleans, Providence, Rhode Island, New York, New York, Chicago, Illinois, Kansas City, Springfield, Missouri. Anyway, the list goes on. ChrisDalia.com. Go get your tickets before they sell out.

Austin almost sold out. Go get your tickets. And that's that. Now, if you want to subscribe to this uh super cult channel that would be help or it'll be really great we're stuck at 596 now it seems to me matt i know that uh chris should definitely go to the thing right now where we would do the hey if you want to call in or whatever and he's not doing it so if you have it now we just did it now so if you have a question click the link in the description below or go to watch lifeline.com and if you want a one-on-one advice sessions with matt go to matt dalia.com uh and that is great for that and all of the new

lifeline merch is at lifelinemerch.com you guys we're ripping also ready for black friday too uh i'm sorry black friday but the holiday seasons um you can get uh lifeline merch for your your loved ones or whatever the fuck you want there. And it makes good for holiday gift giving. Holiday gift giving. Sounds foreign. You get merch for your loved ones. Lifeline merch for your loved ones for the holidays.

Or you hate us. And you want us all to burn in hell. There's a lot in between. That's like saying skate or die. I never liked that. Because also There's a lot in between. That's like saying skate or die. I never liked that because also there's a lot you can do. I'm just letting them know if they don't get their loved one's merch,

our merch, they fucking hate us. Okay. So what about the fact that maybe they don't even think about it or they don't even watch the podcast? They hate us. Okay.

Well, that's a hard line. They're doing us dirty. They should be fans. They should watch and then if they don't, they hate us. And now here's the thing though. If you do watch and you do get lifeline merch for your for your loved ones friends and family whatever you love us and even better we love you back oh wow that's cool yeah so it's very transactional our love yeah yeah yeah completely yeah yeah okay well

that's okay you know i don't i don't know what do you think about like being in a relationship like uh where where where okay so there's what do you think about being in a relationship where it's about money what do you mean define like i was actually thinking about this the other day uh what do you think about like i mean you know take tony soprano and shit obviously he's doing horrible shit but like you know he would like talk to edie falco and be like hey i got your fucking car you know yeah and she'd be like oh thank you tony and it was all brushed under the rug right now obviously people aren't out there being hitman i mean there are but like being in a relationship boss not a hitman yeah

no i know but i'm saying there's not really mob bosses anymore okay well there are kind of hitmen okay okay i don't know well i know i'm you know i mean trust me i don't know but i've seen a lot of national geographic stuff about the underbelly of... Okay. Yeah. And so what do you think about being in a relationship where it's like, hey, got you this? You know what I mean? And the woman's like, okay, well, that's not really my dream relationship, but I'm a hooker a little bit. Well, that sounds fucking terrible.

Does it? The way you're describing it sounds terrible. She's laughing. Seems like she's insecure, laughing like she's unhealthy, and then she says I'm a whore or something. Well, she doesn't say I'm a whore, but's like the you know the subtext of it it's like okay well i think then yes i think that is bad you think it's bad okay but what if they're both happy and they die kind of like together and they have a great family and stuff as long as they're

not mob bosses or hit men or doing anything else violent in the world then everybody should do exactly what they want yeah okay i guess i'm just thinking about like, you know, some people do marry for money and do you think that's bad? I guess that's what I'm asking. Yeah. Marrying for money and security like in that way. You think that's bad? No, I don't think that's bad.

I think that people are attracted to security and they're, I think you see it less when men marry for like money and security and things like that. But I think that happens too. I think the typical one is like women marry rich men. Gold digging ass. Yeah.

Well, it sounds like you got some stuff. No, I don't. But I'm saying I'm not in a gold digging relationship. But gold digging ass shit. Gold digging ass shit. You're driving me crazy. I can take it no more. Fellas, kick it.

Did he not say fellas sing it. I can't take it no more. Fellas, kick it. Did he not say, fellas, sing it? I don't know. Go digging, girls. Driving me crazy. I can't take it no more. Fellas, sing it. Go. And then they would go, go.

Yeah, because then they would sing it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Remember that song? That was like 80s. Was that 90s? That was early 90s. Yeah.

Early 90s. What does he say? Maybe even mid-90s. Fellas, sing. Wow. A rap song that says, fellas, early 90s. Yeah. Early 90s. What does he say? Maybe even mid-90s. Fela Sing. Wow, a rap song that says Fela Sing is unbelievable. Oh, it does say Sing It. It doesn't even say It. It just says Sing.

MC Nas D. MC Nasty. Oh, Nasty? Is that what it was? Yeah. Wow, dude. It's my Cadillac. Wow, that's the name of the...

Got that bass. I don't remember that at all though yeah well you just had the single i think who is it dj what's this what's that say dj it's mick wow now we're talking i mean that would so be in a movie where they don't fucking right right they don't know shit about rap and we'll call him dj freaky fred yeah yeah yeah look look at the lyrics me and my homie took the van and we drove it to the store so basic a paul simon song there was a female there that we had never seen before wow this is a paul simon would be like me and my homie took a van and we drove into the song there was a female

that we had never seen before this is basically simon and garfunkel her body looked looked it nice her body looked it nice her hair was in a curl but from the looks of things we could tell she's a material girl she had lots of gold rings fingers that were stacked my homie looked at me and said nasty let's jack i almost took the bait but i just couldn't do it always running late so i had to get to it okay well that's pretty much enough but where's the good part but what i want to know is why didn't you let me do my paul simon thing with it because you kind of stopped me short there i didn't like i didn't like it that much why it was the number one why i want to know why why didn't i like it it is it is funny and it is um paul simon ish you know he would just kind of talk shit yeah i thought

honestly here's what here's what oh boy i just i thought what you did was enough already i think you didn't need to do any more it wasn't you know me i could keep going and make it you could yeah but i'm saying i didn't want that so i kept going with what i was saying because i had had it was just the right amount it was good but there was no more to it so i let there was more to it you want to know why i'll tell you why because i didn't get to the funny fucking words that would be funny if paul simon said it right like looked it that would be funny if paul simon did it like let's do it like go go so i can scroll with me now i really don't know what the heck is going on oh okay me

and my we took the van and we drove to the store and there was a female that we had never seen before her body looked dead nice her hair was in a curve but from looks and things we could tell she's a material girl lots of gold rings fingers that were stacked my homie looked to me and says nasty let's jack that's a little funnier because paul simon's saying nasty let's jack okay also what's he talking about masturbating he doesn't finish it jack looked it mean i know it means steal dude you're gonna steal the girl let's jack just steal the girl her rings dude they don't give a wow dude you that's so fucking hardcore gangster to steal from a woman like that steal jewelry off of a woman in public yeah also he the song's gold digging girls and he's talking about robbing women with rings go digging girls driving me crazy i can't take it no more

fellas sing it better because matt's tone deaf fellas sing it better than me so digging girls driving me crazy I can't take it no more dude they should remake this song this song would if they remade this shit that would kill

right now I'm telling you how would it go what do you mean remake it oh just the way they should contact you MC Nas D

and Freaky Freddy Friday or whatever his name is should contact you yeah they should dude I mean they probably died honestly of like diabetes or something but anyway

wow how much would that guy die of diabetes? One of them died young. Yeah, for sure. One time I saw a fucking... Dude. At 48. Remember the show Starsky and Hutch?

Yeah. Yeah. One time I said, dude, how much did one of those guys die from HIV? And then I looked it up and he did. What? Yep. Dude, that's how good I am. One of Starsky and Hutch died of fucking AIDS?

I believe so, unless I'm completely wrong and daydreamed that whole thing on the way over here. How sad is that? Well, dude, that's how good I am. One of Starsky and Hutch died of fucking AIDS? I believe so, unless I'm completely wrong and daydreamed that whole thing on the way over here. How sad is that? Well, it's very sad. Look it up and see if the guy died of HIV from Starsky and Hutch. That's a good way to fucking kick things off. Oh, yeah. Hey, guys, welcome to Lifeline.

The guy from Starsky and Hutch died of HIV. Not the movie. Not the movie. Obviously not the movie. Yeah, the movie had fucking Ben Stiller in it, you know? Yeah. Well, just to go and he died of hiv no just say just type in aids with it god didn't know how to google man hey dude did you know no it's all right i like this way anybody don't know how to google see now he was

he committed to this way he should have just kept going because there was one more guy to click on and it's probably that guy but we don't know yet how crazy is that got it through a blood transfusion but we know how he really got it right no dude that was super super super common really yeah it's actually one of the most devastating parts what nobody really talks about that's how arthur ash got it oh really yeah i thought it was gay no no oh wow gonna get canceled again it's all good but yeah no that's that's uh that's i did think arthur was gay though no well he might i mean i actually have no idea but he got it from a blood transfusion oh wow all right well uh this is a very uplifting episode that book and the band played on you know yeah it gets into all that shit that's about arthur ash no it gets

into how many people got blood trends it like writes it as it developed in real time it's the most incredible really it's actually the most upsetting book I've ever read. Isn't that, and the band played on, isn't that about like war people, people from war? No, it's an expression that the gay community in that period took up. Was Matthew Modine in that movie? Yeah.

I see. But it's a book first. Right, right, right. But Matthew Modine was in a movie and then they wrote the book on it. Right, they wrote the book about Matthew Modine movie. And then Matthew Modine was in a movie, and then they wrote the book on it. Right. They wrote the book about a Matthew Modine movie. And then Matthew Modine contracted HIV. All right.

Let's go to one of the things. What do you say? Look at that. See, you look good. Your hair looks good, man. Your hair looks good like that, too, dude. You look like a little fucking shitty little pony. No, it's fine.

It's not a shitty pony. It's not premature. The people with the premature ponies are fucking awful. That I know. The guys who are so bad, they want to do it. That's not what that is. All right let's go to a thing trying to make me look worse than him on tv you look great man you look great uh let's go to light let's go to some some some fan videos or some listener videos still doesn't know what to say going on chris and matt

it's axel i'm still alive i'm still kicking i'm all right oh i'm kind of all right they deviated my septum and broke my nose really bad so so I can't breathe on the one side. Oh. Got to get surgery on my nose. Hold on, pause. You can tell. Chip my tooth. So this guy was the guy that got burned? No, well, first he got burned. And then?

Then he got jacked and beat up on his birthday. Right. And then he had like a burrito of some kind. Right. Really crazy, awesome. Girlfriend broke up with him. Right. On his birthday, and he got beat up.

But great ending to the story is that he got a burrito from Buckaroos or whatever the fuck it was you know yeah what was that place called got fucking burned alive beat the shit out of girlfriend broke up with me and also for the final installment got a burrito from buckaroos what is it what's it called bubba coos oh you were so close i was close well bubba buckaroos i feel like is a thing but because it's not but bubba coos is now a store, so, okay. Anyway, go ahead. That's so the shirt he would wear. You could tell his nose is fucked. I gotta fix my tooth, too. Don't really got money for too much of that stuff, but fuck it.

Life still rips. I'm winging it. Chris, I remember you said that you didn't see any scars on my arm. I wore a short-sleeved shirt, so you can kind of see it this time, but the camera really doesn't do it justice. But I did all... I healed really well. I got super lucky with the healing, but the camera doesn't do the burns justice at all. In real life, you can easily tell where the

old skin hits the new skin and where I'm all scarred up and how the whole inside of my arm is pink. Now, whatever, man, Matt, dude, as soon as I get some money, I'm going to pay for one of those phone calls and hop on with you and explain the full story because I got to explain the full story of this past two months to you guys somehow, dude, I don't know how, but like I said, I'm broke right now, but as soon as I have money, I'm going to try to. Thank you guys so much for making me laugh about everything, dude. It was fucking hilarious. You really had me cracking up.

You guys, you're fucking awesome, dude. Thank you so much. You're the man. Dude, I'm going to pay for his session with you. Let him know. I want to pay for his session with Mac because we want to hear about it, okay? Okay. All right.

Let him know i want to pay for his session with mac because we want to we want to hear about it okay okay all right let him know um that that guy is uh what a fucking guys like this dude i admire guys like this so much when you say guys like this what people who are positive oh like this guy been through some shit and he's just this is the embodiment of life rips this is what i fucking love he literally got burned yeah almost burned alive his his girlfriend broke up with him he got jacked and beat up by 15 guys yeah and then it was one more thing yeah the dude's like yeah but check out this beautiful burrito yeah like this guy i mean talk about the upswing of the burrito going back to the first few things right god but this guy just this guy is the guy that you figured life out bro if people were like you if you were happy like you you know how great the world would be dude this guy looks at the thing he doesn't look at it half half half full he looks at it totally full even if

it's only half full yeah this is a beautiful man and i love this dude but at a certain point you're just inaccurate you know if you're saying if it's actually half full. Yeah. This is a beautiful man, and I love this dude. But at a certain point, you're just inaccurate, you know? Yeah, I know. If it's actually half full, and you're like, that's full, then you're just crazy. But the guy seems, yeah, I understand. But the guy seems like he's just got a great outlook on life. And this is great. We started the fucking episode with that, especially as we were talking about HIV and

people dying. Drunk the way you said that. I did? Yeah. Okay. It zoomed through, and it all sounded all muddled and meshed together. Zoom, zoom, zoom. Zoom, zoomed together. Zoom, zoom, zoom. Zoom, zoom, zoom.

Remember that? That one's better. Yeah. Zoom, zoom, zoom. I go wait out. It's like from Only the Strong or some shit. Is that the one that says, do you want to wear my stroke? Do you want to get it?

That I'll never know, actually. Do you want to be interviewed? I talked about that in and congratulations my other hit podcast on this channel super cold subscribe and they said and people sent it to me and the Jobinterview

is over guys but what is it from did we ever figure I think it's from Only the Strong Jobinterview is over Jobinterview is not over yet Jobinterview is not over yet

that's what it was so foreign just say it in your language at some point at a certain point just be like adding so many J's and B's that don't go was so foreign just say it in your language at some point at a certain point just be like adding so many J's and B's

that don't go there so this guy dude congratulations to this guy this guy figured out life at a young age life rips that's the embodiment of life rips

and we fucking love you here at Lifeline dude and I'm going to pay for your session for Matt alright sounds like a success Matt and Chris hello my name's Barbara Ann huge fan All right. Sounds like a success.

Matt and Chris. Hello. Hello. My name's Barbara Ann. I'm sorry. Huge fan. Cute. Love you guys so much. Barbara Ann.

I am a single mom. Got a beautiful seven-year-old daughter. Cute. I'm looking to buy a house. And my mom also is going to be moving from where she is but cannot afford to live where we live in the area that we live currently by herself so I have put it out there that you know there's a lot more pros to the scenario in which we buy a house together with some privacy of course she can she can be in the

basement but I I'm a little hesitant because i feel like i'm going to lose my independence somewhat and the dating life is non-existent right now to my own my by my own choice but what if things change i guess my question is do you see it as a red flag or a turnoff dating someone with their mommy in the basement. And I don't want to make this too long, but Chris, thank you for the picture in DC. I was a creep waiting outside for you. Oh, yeah. Next time we'll get VIP tickets. You're the best.

Got me through some tough times in 2018 where I wasn't smiling as much or laughing as much. So you and the movie Trolls, if you haven't watched it with Calvin, I recommend it. Oh, we have. Thank you. So you and the movie Trolls, if you haven't watched it with Calvin, I recommend it. Oh, we have. Thank you, thank you. Matt, if you're ever in Northern Virginia, let's meet up and see what happens. Thank you, guys. I gotta say that I remember her.

She was very sweet. And yeah, you know what? I don't know, man. It's not a red flag to me. Not at all. It's a circumstance that, you know. know man it's not a red flag to me uh you know people not at all it's a circumstance that you know here's when it is a red flag is when you are like when you're fuck when you're that when you're there because you can't you can't afford to live somewhere else when you're living with your parents or parent right Right. One of them. And it's because like you don't make money and they are putting you under their roof.

That can be a red flag. That can be a red flag. Can be. But you housing your parent. No, not a red flag. Because you have enough money and they don't is not even a little bit of a red flag. That actually is like really admirable. Yeah.

Now, of course, you're going to run into privacy issues. That's a given right but uh remember aunt martha and grandpa yeah that was awesome i loved it we've seen a situation up close like that and it's the privacy was never invaded from what i know i don't even remember there were sometimes where i was like where's aunt martha i want to go see aunt martha be like you gotta go down and knock and everything house bro that was like a dream yeah i'd love to see that house again yeah it was crazy wow but they worked out for them yeah we had a grandpa we we are my father's parents had who's who was it that was that was bam's uh sister was it yeah okay my grandpa bam's sister um

lived downstairs in the basement it was like a whole separate house basically uh and it was it was great yeah and you know i don't know if you're it also depends like how old's your mom you know if you only got like 10 years left it's kind of a nice thing i think it's i think it's kind of fucking sick in general just like i don't know especially if you get along with your mom i would do it i mean i have actually thought about this i would i would actually do that too i would let my mom live with me as long again as long as there was a situation where we could be separate. Yeah, yeah.

I would do that too. Which is weird to say because 20 or 10 years ago, there was no fucking way I would have said that. Yeah, but 10 years ago, you were fucking 28. It's way different. Yeah.

You know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I would do it too. Yeah, I don't think it's a red flag. And I think that it's a beautiful thing. And I think that, you know, any guy that's going to think that that's shitty, you don't want to fucking be red flag and i think that it's it's a beautiful thing and i think that you know any guy that's gonna think that that's shitty you don't want to fucking

be with dude yeah that's true actually it's a good way to weed out fucking losers i actually you know i thought you had a guy and uh then that might raise an issue if if you know i understand the spouse or something being like i don't know if i want my mother-in-law here but even i would i would do that too yeah i love my mother-in-law but you know yeah i love your mother-in-law too she's great right amorously isn't she what like i'm in love with her oh wow it's the first place in time i've ever said it oh wow that seems bad probably i'm in love with your mother you should have just told me that privately or not at all anyway go ahead okay let's do another one here we go oh he's so warm oh what's up chris and matt he's so warm oh yeah he's warm as shit or or freezing and can't

get a hold of or maybe he has hiv you know what i mean do you recognize this guy what what you acted like you might recognize this guy no no no because she was gonna play a woman that was beautiful and then instead played this guy and it was a stark difference i mean there was like a beautiful redhead with piercing blue eyes and then this guy came no offense to the dude but like he's got a good thing going on yeah he's got his own thing going on right he's also got a great hoodie yeah it says life rips oh does it okay hunter in houston texas love the show guys uh chris if you remember i uh called in on the golden hour the first episode about uh what do you do if someone parks in your parking spot I kind of wanted to get Matt's advice on this also just to see what he has to say and uh just as a I guess a further bit of information the the parking garage is gated in they parked in my spot inside of a gated garage it wasn't like

it was just one of those apartment complex parking spots all over the place so you know it's a little different but uh yeah i had someone parking my spot on halloween inside the garage and i ended up having their car towed so chris i already know what you think yeah what do you think about it thanks guys why don't i got i got a gleam why don't you before i tell you what everyone said on golden hour why don't you fucking go ahead and chime in i mean yeah fucking tow that motherfucker get his ass out of there it's not his fucking spot bye bye bye bye bye bye bye you don't have to be shitty about it but you know i eric was saying tow that motherfucker tow that motherfucker brendan was saying i get it it's halloween really

hard to find parking what are you supposed to do though you're gonna ruin the guy's day who cares he he should have read the fine i was kind of in the middle i said i understand why you would tow it and i might tow it as well but but then brendan was like what if he's with his kids and then you ruin the guy's day which i was shocked that brendan said that but yeah man uh dude if he's with his kids he certainly shouldn't't have done it. He's setting a bad fucking example. I know, I know. I get it. I think I lean towards

what you're saying, yeah. Also, was that detail known that it was in a private fucking- We did not know it was in a gated area. That's a big fucking deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then you never do that shit.

No, I agree. I agree. The guy should know not to do it. And now he knows forever because he got fucking towed. So do the kids, dude. So do the kids. Now everyone knows and that's a good lesson to learn. got fucking towed so do the kids dude so do the kids

now everyone knows and that's a good lesson to learn so not only did he do the right thing he taught the whole family a lesson a very valuable lesson yeah right he's you know he is a real hero we talk about dream heroes but he's a real hero yeah he's a hero all right cool yeah i i agree i agree i think i was maybe swayed because when brendan was saying i was feeling bad for the kids and it was halloween and shit like that but yeah but even still where's he supposed to fucking park I'm not impressionable dude

I'm very very very hard in my stance always okay I'm a real man the real question at the end of everything is where was the guy

supposed to park if he has nowhere to park he has to tow the motherfucker that guy was supposed to yeah yeah I understand I think Brendan's thing was it was halloween it's

really hard to park because everything he was saying that everything was crowded because it was halloween stay home motherfucker well he's got kids he can't stay home he's got a trick or treat yeah i get it okay send him out i get it dude i don't even really disagree with you and you're talking to me like i like i'm disagreeing with you and that's honestly i don't like that it's on me okay that's whatever well i feel very strongly about this okay i would i would tow the motherfucker okay hard wow and i would stand in like this oh you'd watch as it happened and then what if the guy says mother fucker my kids and his kids are all dressed up like clowns and shit like sad i go like this you have no heart so you move the microphone to your face and then back it away again okay all right well shit man

yeah no you're hard you're hardcore especially when it comes to holidays and parking for those only listening what i was doing is i was folding my arms in front of my chest but high like where my nipples are right like a like a fucking like a school teacher yeah like waiting for the class to be or like a really fat guy with short arms okay or that yeah um all right so all right yeah that you know let's do the next one i feel like that's a i feel like that ain't that ain't that ain't bad that's good that's good advice hey chris and matt love you guys love the podcast i'll get right into it um what advice would you have for somebody who's afraid of the spotlight and success specifically someone whose career literally involves like

being in the spotlight. I'm a singer songwriter, love music, I know it's what I meant to do. And I have no doubts about that. I just know that being in the spotlight is going to be like one of my biggest hurdles to get over. I also struggle to believe in myself. And so I need a lot of praise, positive, constant feedback in order to feel confident about like anything I'm doing or putting out there. And I'm afraid that the more I put myself out there and receive that kind of praise that I'm just going to become dependent on it. And my confidence is going to remain dependent on what other people, um, think of me. So Chris, I know you've talked about this a little bit, being a performer yourself.

And Matt, you give really solid advice. So I'm curious what y'all will have to say. But thank you so much. Very smart, self-aware person. I think that here's the deal. Give your social media over to someone to do it. Do not check social media. Find your self-worth and your praise from your family and your friends

you're very you're very emotionally you can you know we can tell in this fucking minute long video that emotionally you're a smart person uh we know that obviously you because you say this that you suffer from uh you know i i don't want to say being insecure but but you rely on other people to make you feel good look use it. Look, use it in your music. Use it in your music. And this is why you do what you do. And also, thank God you're not a comedian because you literally have to depend on people laughing.

As a musician in the spotlight, those lights are bright. I don't know how much you perform, but those lights are bright. You can't see people. Dude, zone out. You're not even there, dude. You're in your fucking living room just doing it and they're there to see that they're there to see you doing that in your living room so just zone the fuck out you're in the spotlight in in the physical form but in your head you're in your

living room and shut down the social media have social have someone else do the social media the way you're talking right now and you're going to become dependent on the social media you're going to see the hate you're going to see the shit that people say that's not good it's just toxic man social media fucks with you trust me take it from me get death threats all the time yes so it's like you gotta fucking just shut down the social media aspect of it and zone out and just focus on the music especially when you're performing in front of people focus on the music dude yeah um i think also do it more as much as you can. The only thing to combat that kind of fear is to face it over and over and over again

until it becomes less and less of a fear. Yeah. I know when you were starting out doing comedy, it was the same thing. You would go up at hostels without a microphone, fucking diners, like an open mic night. And I was always like, what the fuck are you doing?

That sounds miserable and not even similar diners like an open mic night and i was always like what the fuck are you doing that sounds miserable and not even similar to what uh doing a stand-up set is like and it was just for you it was just like the more you did it the less afraid you got about doing it and and the more you got used to doing it and that's creates this positive cycle of like you you need less and less yeah feedback all the time that you're doing it well because you're used to it now and you get this you get the fucking hang of it and shit you know i feel like i don't know but it sounds like she doesn't go up that often to perform in front of people it's different as a singer exactly so you gotta just what i'm saying is any gig you can get even if it's at a senior citizen home right you get in fucking front of front of them and you just do it because at the end of the day, it's all the same.

There's people who want to hear you play music. Yeah. It's a thing you can get over for sure. So that's good, right? It's not like something you can't get over. You might always have a little bit of it, but like, man, I did. I used to go up in hostels, in rooms in hostels where people who didn't speak English were waiting for a comedy show. And they were like, oh, there's a comedy show here? Okay.

We were going to go drink, but we will watch this for 20 minutes. And I would go up. There would be no stage. I just walk from the back of the room to the front of the room. no stage i just walk from the back of the room to the front of the room and i would be like hey guys what's the deal with fucking you know apple computers and sometimes they would laugh and sometimes i would just be in a room and just talking and they would not be laughing but i get over that shit that sounds just so so strange but i loved it dude i loved it and i wouldn't change it for anything because i did it and it was strange and i would and i would bomb but dude it got me so good at at just talking and and zoning out as i say uh you need to be connected with the crowd but zoning out

it's like when i do my podcast dude i'm having a blast i'm killing nobody's in the room but i feel like i'm killing and i think it's funny and i don't need now i don't need people to laugh like dude that's what i'm saying the more you yeah but this podcast like i say shit at in this podcast that i say in other podcasts that everybody would be people would be laughing but you're my brother and you're used to this shit and you don't laugh that's true sometimes but i know it's funny and i do it anyway i've thought about that actually yeah and i know you think it's funny but you're just not laughing or you don't think it's funny and i don't give a fuck well i mean i've been seeing the sim jokes for like 38 you didn't see the paul simon one but you know and it's fine but like the paul simon one was funny you didn't laugh at it and i know it's funny deep down i know it's

i know how funny it is and you're like i didn't like it that much but i liked it just i thought that the allocated amount of time that i gave it was the right amount of time okay yeah yeah we could revisit it at some point and honestly we probably will in a way in our lives at some point anyway because of how i reuse jokes all the time right yeah i read you i reuse jokes all the time like here's one i reuse all the time okay somebody says have you ever had anal sex and i say yeah you know it's okay but it makes my my butt hurt right right yeah i love that. I love that joke. Okay. And one time I made a director cry laughing with it, and I always think about it.

Really? And that's the hardest that that joke ever hit. Congratulations, man. Feeling good. Yeah. Okay. So. All right.

And you didn't laugh at it, and I still know it's funny. I didn't laugh at it, yeah. And if I said it at the hospital, I bet those fucking Germans would die at that right yeah because he's doing i thought he was okay right right right yeah yeah i mean shit all i have a question for chris how do i use a napkin where's my mouth how did you become so sick with it? What I mean? Oh, wow.

You know? Just so. That was the best submission we ever got because of the chocolate on his face. It was so quick. No, what was good about it. It sounded like Chris cut his ass off because it went too long, right? Like that wasn't the end of his video. That was the end of the video. Oh, really?

Oh, dude. How to get too sick with it? Let's play it again. Look at his slovenly face i have a question for chris chris um how did you become so sick with it thanks oh even better first thank us for our time first off he started wiping his face when he had shit all over it. What do you mean? That's how you started. Oh, that's how I started.

It's like step one or step two. Step one, when it looks like you have dookie on your mouth, wipe it off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, dude. So that's number one, yeah. I mean, dude, that guy doesn't give a fuck. Honestly, how sexy is that guy in a relationship for real? Because he so doesn't give a fuck. I mean, 0% sexy.

Okay. If anyone was going in to kiss that guy no when he had this shit on his face but the attitude about it is that he did the video and thought and obviously saw he's not blind because he's driving he wanted it like he thought it was funny that's why i don't think so okay then never mind you know he thought it was being funny all right okay but he still has his question he's pretty sick with it already you think i mean you he's asking you i mean i probably don't want to hang out with a guy like that but he's pretty sick with it okay because he's already he doesn't give a fuck that's what makes you say these two

things that he's already sick with it a and that you wouldn't want to hang out with him well because i don't want to hang out with a guy who thinks it's good to have fucking stuff all over his face that's disgusting to me okay period for any amount of time yes and then uh he's already sick with it because he doesn't give a fuck what people think obviously okay because now he's on you know hundreds of millions of people are going to see this yes billions yes by the way subscribe to the channel we need to break 596 this is a conspiracy super called sooner or later even i who never believe anything is a conspiracy will start to think this is a conspiracy neither do i do but i'm starting to be like okay man maybe we're a little bit alex jones in this bitch all right let's go

here we go next one hey chris um hey matt i love both of you tons chris i'm a true baby matt i love the perspective that you have to offer on literally everything um my name is Jenny. I'm 23 years old. I'm from Sacramento, California. My question is, I guess I need advice on how do you get over someone who you really like and who really likes you,

but at the end of the day, you're just not compatible in the things that you want out of a relationship, in the direction you want to go not compatible uh in the things that you want out of a relationship in the direction you want to go in life uh do you think that you can still maintain a friendship with that person or that at the end of the day it's just gonna be messy and uh end in heartache because that's what i feel is gonna happen um but i also don't want to close off a really good friendship so what do you guys think can you get over somebody while still being their friend thank you have a good day guys i love you

and i appreciate you calvin's the cutest matt marry me okay bye so what's up with she yeah she would obviously want to marry me too but i'm already married but it's fine that's like two videos now where the women were just like matt i love you i want to have your children basically i know and they're doing that to play hard to get for me um uh yeah i what why do you want so okay you guys are such good friends you guys are you guys tried the horizontal mambo and apparently it went nice right but the thing is they're not compatible meaning they want different things in life yep so i think why don't you just keep trying dude keep trying what break him make him do what you want do what women do all the time historically throughout the ages sadeeper change him break him make him come over to your

area and have kids or whatever you want that he doesn't want break him nah i don't i don't agree with that at all i agree i agree with myself because then there's going to be resentment coming from one side or another relationship no matter anyway in a relationship no matter what. No, get the fuck out of here, dude. Break him. Yeah, get out of here with this Sadiq-er shit, dude. No, I reject all of what you're saying, okay? I don't reject it. Okay, well, that's because you said it.

I agree with you. So if you guys have, it sounds like you've already decided that it's not going to work out between you romantically, which is probably absolutely right. Break them. Okay? So that's out of the way.

That's not even what she was asking about, Chris. Break them. So what you should do from that point on is if you're worried about being friends, you think it's going to end in heartache, you think it's going to end badly for this or that reason, you are very likely to be right about that. Break them. Stop saying that. Okay.

And you are very likely to be in for a world, a world of hurt. A world of hurt where one woman tries to be friends with somebody else that she should have broken but didn't. Yeah. One world, one heart a broken man starring vin diesel wow i mean i would see that yeah oh yeah that would be his like it was like time to go try for an oscar he did that remember with sydney lamette no what he did uh your honor or something about uh i please oh it's such a bad title what was it the Vin Diesel movie that he played

a lawyer with for Sidney Lumet what's the Vin Diesel Sidney Lumet movie yeah it's like a thing find me guilty find me guilty wow what's that song I don't I don't know why you're doing it, though.

What's that song? You know it? It sounds sick. What's up? What is that song? I don't know. Anthony? I have no idea.

I'm pissed. How about this, dude? How about this? Such a crazy guy. What are you doing? What's the hip-hop song with bed squeaks in it? Oh, is it Trill? That's what it seems.

That's what it seems, you know? I mean, really? Too many. Just a foley sound effect. Here we go. Yeah. You were doing it pretty good. After 30 seconds, though, that's so annoying.

No. The squeaking? Get to it, guys. You know, it's been a minute. All right. Well, it's over now. Jesus Christ. Took a while for me to find the note.

All right. Okay. That's very cool. Okay. So now about this woman. Yeah. I think since you've already decided it's not going to work out as a relationship, trust that and also trust your instinct that it's not going to work out as friends.

Break them. You can be friends with an ex. It's just like, don't expect it. You know, you got to work hard at that shit. And then, but working hard at it presumes you really want it to work out as a friendship. And I don't know why people always insist, oh, but we should still stay friends. Why? Based on what?

Is that a good idea? Maybe they were friends. Yeah. That, I I guess makes sense. But you're going to have that moment where you guys are like, yeah, like, all right, cool. So you want to help me move, friend? And he's like, yeah, okay, cool.

And then you're going to move the couch and be like, oh, that's great. Yeah, okay. It's cool. Yeah, wow. Okay. So anyway, well, I'm going to go. Oh, sorry.

Oh, I didn't mean to. Oh, I didn't mean to. Okay, yeah. It's all. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's all... Yeah. Exactly. It sounds like you're saying Benito. That is the most disgusting thing I've ever seen in my life.

When you go up and lick her face. It's tongue kissing. That's what it would look like without the face. Yeah, it's just so disgusting what you're doing. That's him. She's eating his butt. Okay.

Trust your instincts. You're right about them. All of them. You broke me, didn't you? About them. All of them. You broke me, didn't you? You should be laughing, but it doesn't matter, though, because I am a true comedian,

and I've done hostiles with no microphones to people who don't speak English. Wow. So I hear the laughs no matter what. Wow. Crazy guy. Hears people laughing when they're not there. Dude. Performance art. laughing when they're not there dude performance art dude you laughed you laughed i laughed at that one yeah you laughed at that that's great fuck

yeah dude yeah okay all right well let's do another one huh yeah now that i've laughed great advice sufficient where we are press play where are we at this is take 97 of me just trying to record this and make it perfect I'm a big hand talker and it's obnoxious and I say um a lot so anyway the other day I was talking to my mom about how I can't breathe

through my right nostril so because I'm an avid listener of congratulations and lifeline and I'm obviously a part of the super cult baby I thought I had a deviated septum a part of the Super Cult, baby. I thought I had a deviated septum just because of the way that it sounded, what you went through, yada, yada, yada. Obviously, talking to Chris.

Sorry, Matt. I have it too, motherfucker. We love you too. Anyway, go to Ear, Nose, and Throat today and it turns out I have a severe deviated septum. It goes so far over that it almost completely cuts off my right airway. So I obviously need the surgery, but I don't know what to expect. I feel really anxious. I don't know how painful it's going to be, the recovery time.

And the doctor really sketches me out. So please just let me know how to handle the anxiety and just what to expect. Thank you so much. I'm a big fan. Bye. Al-Prazi, baby. Al-Prazi Lam. Be-nim-tum-ch, be-nim-tum, which is Xanax. Be-nim-tum, that's a generic forrazi Lam. Be-nim-tum-ch. Dim-tum. Which is Xanax.

Be-nim-tum. That's a generic for Xanax. Be-nim-tum-ch. You're recommending Xanax to her? No, I'm not. I'm kidding. Well, I mean, it helps. But I think that, yeah, look, you're going to have anxiety.

You know why? And it's okay because they're doing surgery in your head, in the center of your head. But shouldn't we focus on the doctor sketches her out? Well, yeah, but I have a feeling... Go see another doctor. Yeah, we'll definitely get a second opinion if the doctor does sketch you out,

but I have a feeling she's just kind of saying shit, just judging on how she's saying stuff. Okay, so you think the person who called in, she's just this woman who just asked for our advice

is exaggerating or making stuff up? I feel like she's... No, I don't think she's making stuff up. I think she's just kind of trying to be cute and funny with that specifically. That's what my first instinct was okay and i read people

yeah okay right so um and but i think that you you know go get a second opinion anyway yeah right but if you have a deviated septum get the x-rays and then shit like that you have it right i have it really bad i had it they fixed it and it's great. How is it now? Everything's great? Yeah. Oh, wow. Dude, I asked Kristen the other day. I was like, how much less do I snore? And she said, if you snored 100%, you're at 5% or 10%. Whoa.

Well, that's crazy. I don't even snore. I just, I have it during the day. Oh, you don't? No, I don't snore at all. Yeah. You know who snores a lot? David Sullivan.

I took him on the road the past few times. Oh, yeah. And bro, the guy snores and I thought someone was cutting down a tree dude and um do it so she it's like dude i can't even it's like oh dude yeah oh right yeah yeah like the hawking sound steven hawking it's so disgusting and he's got a big head and he's fat so he's got a huge head you know what else dude he's really fat and he's fat he's old and so oh yeah he's definitely any short so i think that i think that uh i think that um you gotta go so it's very it's a very you know what it is it's a very invasive surgery because it gets in the center of your head and you don't think about how it's an invasive surgery because you're like they're fixing a little thing in my nose but it affects a lot the first night absolutely sucks there's no there's no two ways about it it just sucks pain meds pain meds pain meds but it doesn't suck

because it hurts absolutely pain meds it doesn't hurt because it sucked because it hurts it's still pain meds i understand but it's i didn't take pain meds okay well there's a big mistake but go ahead but you know me dude dude. What's that? I'm fucking very, like my pain tolerance is crazy, bro. I'm like really a man, right? Really a man. Yeah. So, but the tampons that they put up your nose.

The worst. Are the worst. Have you had that, right? Yeah, remember it came out and I didn't know it was even up there? Yep. One night, I just felt this thing coming out of my fucking face. The angioidic cle out of my fucking face the standardized fucking face and dude there's a fucking big like mound of cotton stuck in my face and i had no idea you didn't know that that was in there they didn't tell me that's weird and then so and then

when did you take it out the day after no no when did it come out oh like a week so you had that up there for a week yeah on both sides so they only make you keep it up there for a day now? Oh. Very uneventful the way that went down. Why? I don't know. But so they put tampons up there. It's a day.

And then they have the stints up there for a week. But the stints are not so bad. They're pretty awful. But the tampons, you can't breathe out of your nose yeah um but yeah definitely get it done dude definitely get it done it's worth it i i definitely am going i knew a guy that got it done uh and then had to get it done again and i i will tell you this much i don't know if i would do it again that's how fucking annoying it is yeah i like if i got hit in the nose five years down the line maybe i would forget about how annoying it was but like

i don't know man it fucking sucks that recovery it just sucks man wow the fact that you don't know if you do it again is wild but i'm glad but i but i am glad i did it well yeah now but doing it twice i don't know man wow like it took three months for it to fucking actually feel like all better and that's pretty good right doesn't it usually yeah sometimes it takes like half a year yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah all right well so yeah get that shit yeah i think you should get it though get a second opinion but a deviated septum is real real easy to tell if you have it it's not like yeah you need a second opinion but if you hate your doctor definitely do that i think honestly uh i you know it's cool that she

figured it out for my podcast and i didn't realize that i saved lives yeah you saved lives people have said that before about you making it real i was joking but making it real no but i'm being serious you know there was a woman that came up to me the other day that said that my podcast helped her get through um by the way a lot of people fucking love this podcast man was a woman that came up to me the other day that said that my podcast helped her get through. By the way, a lot of people fucking love this podcast, man. Yeah? Yeah. Like, they come up to me at the meet and greets, and they're like, they have Lifeline merch, and they say, like, we love Matt.

Tell Matt what's up. Yeah. You don't tell me enough. Yeah, no, I don't, actually. But, yeah, what was I saying? Oh, yeah, somebody came up to me, and they said that they had a pre-me babies like twins and that they would listen to congratulations during that time and they were in and out of the hospital and it was fucking horrible and she'd like just broke down in front of my god and had me sign her uh hospital bracelet baby oh really yeah yeah it was really really like it was and then our babies are great now like she told me a picture of that how long

ago like what like it was like a year ago that they were born. Wow. Yeah. And they're just two beautiful twins now. They're two beautiful babies now, right? Vince Vaughn. Vince Vaughn. But they are though.

And it really was touching, man. It really touched me, man. Like and I was so happy to see that baby's healthy. And like the fact that they wanted me to sign their bracelets, like their hospital bracelets was like, it was just such an honor, man. And, you know, I don't know if, I don't know their names but i i remember their faces and they were just really fucking sweet and and and that stuff is so you know i know we were obviously getting off on a real note here but but um it was just really beautiful man and i'm so fortunate you know we really are fortunate that

we fucking that we have these people that listen to this podcast and like enjoy this like you ever feel that yeah i do also when you said the vince vaughn thing it made me think of who the fuck's vince vaughn dude tell that story yeah okay this is after wedding crashers by the way right yes okay yes yes so we were trying to this is almost 20 actually almost 20 years ago yeah we were trying to make a movie who wrote it me or you who wrote it uh you you wrote i wrote it you wrote i wrote the script it was called selling desks and i was going to direct it and uh we were we had this producer attached who was much older than us who many years later it turned out that he was like a crazy like he would he would whatever it doesn't matter but the point the fucking the uh the thing that he did with us we went up to his house oh this is what it was it turned out he abused his mom remember that yeah we went up to his house in the middle of the fucking

benedict canyon or whatever and this other producer we were with was like this is weird thing going on with this him and his mom i don't know that and then years later it came out that like he was abusing his mom whoa i barely remember this anyway okay so um like i can just picture him like ben stiller and fucking happy madison like oh i'm sorry yeah did you need that you slap it out of her head and shit uh anyway this guy was english He was such a fucking unbelievable asshole. He was such an unbelievable asshole that it was funny, and I was like, you couldn't take him seriously, and it didn't bother me.

Yeah, but it did bother me. He was such a dick. And we were arguing with him again about something, and we were trying to convey the kind of humor that a certain scene was supposed to be. Right. Because we were going through the script, and he was again pushing back on us. He was like i just don't get it i just don't get it

and and it was getting more and more tense more and more tense and then finally uh either you or me was like you know it's like uh it's like the style of humor of like vince vaughn like just trying to convey what it is and and and and and the guy whose name i'm not going to say yeah he he just goes who the fuck's vince vaughn and in it we were like what yeah yeah like some some kids may not know who vince vaughn is now but like vince vaughn was well we didn't know what he meant he it was like you can't not know who vince vaughn he meant but he i don't know if he believed it or not or i don't know if't know if he knew him or not, but he was trying to act like he didn't know who he was.

I realized that because we asked him questions afterwards. We were like, what, you mean like you don't care that we're bringing this to the table? Or you don't know who he is? He's like, no, who's that? Who is that?

Yeah. And he was... At this point, he was like... The biggest comedic actor... Top five, at least. In the fucking country, in the world, for sure. Really? Yeah, dude. Yeah, okay. Maybe Ben maybe ben stiller but yeah because of the wedding crashers yeah

so so far i'm saying calling it the wedding crashers it's what it was um wedding crashers the wedding crashers no the wedding crashers no it's called wedding crashers the wedding crashers i mean okay i'm not giving it up never gonna give you up never gonna let you down the wedding what okay let's do one more here we go oh fuck you right i know that hey chris so this was the woman that i thought that was gonna pause it this was the one that he was gonna play and then he played that fucking guy he ruined it or whatever yeah he ruined it yeah okay a story for you guys uh so basically i had been best friends with this girl for about eight years. We love your stand-up, and it has really bonded us over the years.

Was it? She meshed with this girl is what she said? I didn't hear what she said. She bonded with this girl, and specifically now over your comedy. She became friends with a girl. Okay, yeah, got it, cool. We decided to get tickets together to go see you in Lakeland in December. Oh, whoops. So she bought the tickets on tickets together to go see you in Lakeland in December. Oh, whoops.

So she bought the tickets on her phone. I sold her the money for my ticket, and that was our plan. We were going to go, right? But recently, not even really recently, like most of our friendship, she just continues to ditch me for guys. Like she'll cancel our plans and go hang out with a guy or hang out with her current boyfriend or whatever, which is fine. If you want to go hang out with your boyfriend or hang out with someone else don't make plans with me yeah don't make plans

with me just to cancel yeah that's they waste my time crazy ruth so i decided to like call her out on it and tell her about it and she just completely never responded to me never said anything and instead went and talked to our other friends about how i'm um jealous of her relationship jealous of her boyfriend i'm just too selfish to see that she wants to do what she wants to do and I have to deal with it. So after hearing that, I decided to back away as one would. Yeah. And then she noticed that I was backing away and decided to hit me about 10 times harder and removed every single photo of me ever off all social media, off everything.

And I feel like our eight year best friend relationship just never even existed. So I messaged her and I said, I thought that I meant a little bit more to you than if you just cut me off completely without even a conversation. And she sent me back the nastiest message I've ever received in my entire life. So I blocked her number. Good. And then she decided to email me more nasty things.

Oh, Jesus. So needless to say, we are no longer friends. Yes. But the issue is. The money. She has my ticket to your show. Oh. And my money.

Oh, no. And she won't give it back. What? I Vemma requested her and she blocked me on Vemma. I had other people Vemma request her and she's ignoring it completely. And I can't get any of my stuff back. I can't get it back. So let me know what you think

about how I should go about this. If there's any other way that I can get my money back because she's basically stealing from me at this point. So let me know if you know how to get my shit back. I'm going to clear this all up. Don't respond to this girl anymore. Don't write back to her.

Block her on everything. I moved to Lakeland. Was it Lakeland? To January. I'm going to everything. I moved to Lakeland. Was it Lakeland? To January. I'm going to give you two tickets to Lakeland for free. You don't have to worry about the money. So the money that she has now, that paid for these tickets that I'm going to give you.

I'm going to give you two tickets. Bring whoever you want. Bring your boyfriend. Bring your fucking brother. Bring another friend. Post all about it. Have a good time she'll see it and be like what the fuck you got two free tickets i think it's in january it is

in january now uh and if you don't want to go to lakeland you want to go somewhere else if it's closer i'm doing daytona i'm also doing jacksonville let let uh the producer know we'll get you two free tickets so i'll clear that up right there furthermore if you did what you said you were doing it didn't sound like you crossed any lines to me right no offense to her but i think she has to be leaving something out because if here's the thing if you're not leaving anything out yeah this is a remarkably crazy person yeah who you have you should be fucking thanking your lucky stars that she's not going to be in your life moving forward yeah that's that's pretty wild that's pretty wild if if you're not leaving anything out you dodged a bullet and also

how are you friends with this person for a year and this is happening now some sounds like maybe something else was going on but also if she anyone who you block and then they start emailing you is crazy yeah right like you blocked her out of look you're you're really stressing me out you know it sounds like you're not like hey fuck you forever it sounds like you're just like i can't deal with this right now which is fine it's fine to block somebody for a little bit i think um i i'm all for it uh especially if it's fucking up your mental health and shit um but uh yeah you uh yeah you you you dodged a a bullet dude uh so don't worry about the money thing i got you and then uh i'm sorry that that happened that's not an issue now but also that's weird is she trying to get her friends

uh she's just being a crazy person yeah Yeah. Some people, when they feel like they've been maligned, just act so maligned. Yeah. Just act so crazy. And it's like there's nothing to be done about it. They won't stop. It's just like they're triggered, and all of a sudden they're just a whirlwind of terribleness,

every which way. Oh, my. Yeah, terrible. All right. Yes. So I will be in Lakeland soon. And I will be in other. We might as well wrap the show up.

But I will be in Lakeland. I will be in Austin. I will be in New York, New York. I will be in Chicago. I will be in Daytona, San Diego, Seattle, Portland, Brea, California, Portland. Yeah, I said that. Sugarland, Texas, San Antonio, New Orleans, Providence, Rhode Island. You got it.

You got it. Springfield, Missouri, Boise, Cincinnati. Go to chrislea.com to get tickets. Columbus, Ohio. Columbus, Ohio. Have you been there? No. Yes.

But I saw it on the screen. Yep, there you go. You're very observant. So I'll be there. Now, obviously, click out and go to the other screen so we can talk about the other things one-on-one sessions with this dude my brother mattalia.com i am paying for that one guy tell him i'll pay for it for the session and then if you have questions go to watchlifeline.com or if you want to get that merch for the holiday season and give it to your friend lifelinemerch.com that's what's up and if you want to see it merch for the holiday season and give it to your friend, lifelinemerch.com. That's what's up.

And if you want to see it, here, look. Check this out, dude. Look what I'm doing on the secret tip. Look what I'm doing on the secret tip. Lifeline, dude. You're like a superhero. Superhero. Lifeline man.

There we go. He's Lifeline man. Yep. I'll wear this for next episode. Love you guys. Subscribe. Get us past 596. See if you might think you're subscribed

and you might not be able to open my mouth. But dude, all you got to do is just subscribe. Thanks, guys. He's like me in the parking lot. Mary Catherine Gallagher.