Lifeline - 4. Casper The ISIS Ghost

Episode Date: May 1, 2022

🎧 Subscribe on iTunes: apple.co/3NG2G2G 🔊 Subscribe on Spotify: spoti.fi/3NPUwoT 🔗 All our links: linktr.ee/watchlifeline In this week's episode, we discuss people who can't take a joke, honesty with your therapist, addiction to porn, family pressure, and libido differences with your SO. 💚 Lifeline is the first podcast about you, hosted by Matt D'Elia & Chris D'Elia. 🤳 Want to submit to Lifeline? Go here: forms.gle/EYbqjvyy1A9r728Y9 More LIFELINE: 📸 Instagram: instagram.com/watchlifeline 💃 Tiktok: tiktok.com/@watchlifeline Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lifeline is an advice show for entertainment purposes only. If you need real help or advice, please seek a therapist or licensed professional. you think about how this is the fourth episode this is the fourth episode you know that it feels like well if i think about it i know that but i off like the top of my head it feels like we've been doing it for a long time really yeah maybe you're just in your element dude i'm feeling it i'm in the fucking zone wow yep um so how do you feel about the fact that we haven't eaten burritos beforehand? Better? I feel less ecstatic. No, no, no. Oh, I do.

Yeah. Don't tell me no. Don't ask a question. Then I'll answer affirmatively. You just say no. I don't like that. You're going against me just to go against me, right? Getting off on the wrong foot.

Why are you doing this? I'll tell you why I'm doing that. Cool, cool. But I'm pissed that you pointed it out. Well, because you did it two or three times, people are going to think you have Tourette's in it. I'm pissed that you pointed it out. No, it's better.

To be honest. Let's get it out in the open. I'm doing it because there's a thing going on. There we go. I fixed it. It's a tag. This, there's a hood in it, so it doesn't go down like most collars.

There's no way to put it down. It only stays like that because there's something bunched up in here okay and sometimes my hair which is like voluptuous and long yeah uh gets stuck on it and i to do a quick thing i go i go well i don't even remember what i did that whatever that is is fucking absolutely terrible i think it's great well it's not dude do you do it walking around do i do it walking around like this no no because it doesn't matter it's not good dude uh i think it's all right yo uh i got a new tattoo oh you did yeah let me see it you haven't seen it i didn't even see it no

uh whoa that's really good yeah it's a triceratops skull. I mean, I know what it is. Calvin likes it. Oh, does he try to like take it off? Okay, well. Trying to fucking look buff. Look at. At a bodybuilding show. Look at how I look at it. So bitch.

But it's a triceratops skull and I love it. That's your best tattoo that you have. You think so? I mean, certainly in terms of like, I think he's like the artistry is fucking good. Yeah, he's really, really great. Devin Mena at, what's it called? Something, Vatican Studios in Irvine.

And it's great and I love it and it's peeling. So when it gets regular and then the fucking hair grows back in, you could imagine how fucking crazy good I'll look, right? Because I always need it on the other side, right? Because I had the shit over here like this and now I have this shit over here like this and when i'm like this dude now i look like a full fucking tatted dude i'm going to be tatted up you are a tatted dude you think i'm a tatted dude would you say i'm like a tatted up dude you have a tattoo on your

neck and all over your arms and on your chest how many tattoos do you think it takes to be a tatted dude one two three four five, three, four, five. Five. I have six. I don't like that you're acting like you don't know how many tattoos you have. I don't. Okay. Well, then that's the mark of a tatted up dude. Okay.

Yeah. Fair enough. Fair enough. Yes. If you don't know how many you have. I'm sexy, dude. Don't flex. That's what you're saying?

I don't like when people act like they're not flexing. They're just doing a normal thing, but they're actually flexing. But I wasn't. Yeah. Yeah. But I'm not pretending like I'm not flexing. I am flexing, and I know it. And everyone knows that. And that's why it's great. I'm flexing but i was i wasn't yeah yeah but i'm i'm not pretending like i'm not flexing i am flexing and i know it and everyone knows that and that's why i know it um so i got this tattoo and it's great and it's flaking and can you imagine when it looks not flaking and the

hair pops back in like how good i'm gonna look i can completely imagine that no on the other hand now on the other hand who the fuck grows hair on the inside of their arm well no but here's the thing because they shave it a little bit yeah Yeah, but there's no hair there. But there's no hair there because they fucking shave it. In general, on arms. I know, but look, you see how there's hair over here?

Oh, little baby hairs. So there'll be a little hair over here and it'll cover it up nicely a little bit and it'll look like I've had it for a while because also it's very dark because I just got it. It needs to fade a little bit so it looks like, you know,

so I look like I've been through some shit because right now it looks like I'm just like a fresh tatted up dude. And you don't want to look like a fresh tatted up dude. Why not?'t want to look like a fresh tatted up dude. That's kind of a, cause it's like, Oh,

you just got that. The people like, you just got that dude. I was walking around this for, for two weeks. I couldn't do anything. People like, Oh,

you just got that. And it made me feel like, have you just gotten things? I mean, I don't know. It makes me, I don't want people to, I don't want to like talk about it.

Like if you're like, Oh, when'd you get that? Oh yeah. I got a long time ago. That's cool. But if it's like, Oh,

you just got that. Yeah. Where? Oh, I got it at this place. Oh yeah. my brother or i know about him from instagram and then i gotta fucking sit there and i'm just like actually just let me get three shots of coffee you should prepare for that if you're gonna get a tattoo a big one on your fucking neck you know what i saw i saw a lady today today as i was getting these fucking three shots over over ice

i only got three because i went to get four and the lady said okay let me get four shots i said let me get four shots of espresso and she said okay and she was doing it and then she was like wait hold on and i'm already like okay and she was like hold on wait i can't okay all right now have it go through and then i put the credit card i did it and it went boop and she goes oh wait hold on um and then i and then she looked at me and she's like okay i i go to the bathroom and come back and then you'll and then we'll take care of it so i went to the bathroom i came back because i had to go to the bathroom she wasn't just like being like go take a shit weird thing to say but then she was like go to the bathroom and uh and so i i came back after my bathroom

and she said it all worked out and then i and then the lady goes chris and i and i get it and she goes boom and just for shits i like, how many shots is in there? And she said, three. Okay. I ordered four. Oh. So everything was fucked up. But so I was there and I saw as I was doing this because I was looking around because

nothing was going right. And I was there for too long. I looked around and I saw a lady with a shirt that said, don't talk to me. And you didn't like that? No, I didn't like it at first because it's like so rude but it's not personal right but then it's like if i had that shirt people would maybe not talk to me about that kind of shit is what i'm saying here's why i don't like it well i don't like it but go ahead it presumes people want to talk to you yeah it's annoying it is a little but it's so presumptuous

i know i want to go up to that person and say, I don't want to fucking talk to you anyway. Yeah. I specifically do not want to talk to you. Your shitty shirt made me come talk to you. I would say that that shirt probably makes more people talk to you than not. Yes. Well, that's definitely true. Yeah.

Do you think she sees people come out to her and go like this? And walk away? Yeah, probably. Yeah. Probably not. But I don't know, know man i need to get some sort of fucking thing because people are obviously always coming up and talking to me and shit and usually it's nice there was a uh chris do you remember britney mcdonald in like fourth fifth

grade she wore a shirt that and she was like one of the only girls with this was young girls okay like the only girls with like a bot an actual grown-in body yet and she had over her over her chest it said my eyes are up here and there was an arrow you remember that it was so like like it made me look at it yeah yeah yeah and then i was like ah no and then like you know what i mean it got and then fucked with my fifth grade brain or hover and you talk to her and you're actually having a conversation range she goes like this check it oh right right oh up up right and I was. And you talk to her and you're actually having a conversation right and she goes like this. Check it. Right, right, right. Up, up, up.

Did you read? Up, up, up. Did you read? Up, up, up. You need to get a shirt that says my dick's down here with an arrow. Everyone knows that though.

I'm just saying. But you know where people's eyes are too. They're not looking at anyone's dick. That's for sure. What if you got a hat that said my eyes are down here?

I think the issue would be that it wouldn't make any sense because no one's looking at i know i know but that's a good thing to like make fun of shirts like oh so you get a hat that says my eyes are down here a shirt that says my eyes are up here my pants that say you get pants that say my eyes are way up there just pants that are telling you where the eyes are all of your clothes directing you to the eyes and then a jacket with on the back it says my eyes are on the other side above this yeah okay well that could work um now let me tell you what i'm insecure about producer chris said put left a note for me said don't touch the butt of the microphone now i keep thinking about not touching it not touching it am i gonna touch it how am i

gonna touch it if i want to move it that's okay that's okay but i just did but don't be ginger like that i'm being gingerly though you look like a fucking bitch well relax you sound so hateful when you said it yeah you sound so hateful when you said that's what i'm trying to illustrate like this just go like this handle it bro handle it but don't touch this what's that about oh oh this is now this jerking a guy off this is jerking that guy off like this dude imagine you know how something's savage? Yeah. When you imagine doing it without the actual instrument. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.

I know, but you're like this. You didn't know. You were like this. I don't. So hold on, let me get this over here. Let me get this over here. Dude, this was good. Look how you taught me.

Yeah, that's so obvious that it does that. Okay, but anyway. Don't say it like that. Anyway, it doesn't matter. So I got a new tattoo. I was at the coffee shop. They got me the wrong order. I only got the three shots and also the lady had the shirt and that was my day

and that was great. So you're welcome for telling you that. Should we get into the episode of Lifeline? It's the fourth episode of Lifeline and we've got some bangers today, Rob. That's what Chris said. Chris, the producer over there. So now if they're not bangers, you know whose fault it is. He said they're bangers.

So let's do this. Hey, what up, D'Elia brothers? Love you guys. Love the new show. I had a situation come up that I felt I could get your advice on. And it has to do with the intention behind a joke that you make to your friend versus the way that it lands, the impact. And how much of that impact are you responsible for when you know it's coming from a good place so i had this friend come over she walked into our kitchen first time i've seen her in years and she's wearing this big beautiful flowy dress and so as i hugged her to greet her i hit her with the hills are alive with the sound of music uh anyway i thought the hang went great a couple days later she hits me with a text demanding an apology for mocking her. And immediately I flew into a defensive mode saying

like, hey, that was from a place of love. I was so happy to see you. I would never intentionally like mock you to make you feel bad. And she wouldn't relent, demanded an apology. And so I apologized. And I'm sorry, but when you apologize for something like that, I think it takes something away from you. I really struggled living in the moment for a second. You know, typically I trust that I love my friends. And so jokes are coming from a place of love. And all of a sudden I was second guessing myself. Life didn't rip quite as hard. It was, it was more like a tear. Life tore and I need it to rip. You know what I'm saying? So I guess I just want your advice.

Would you apologize in those circumstances? That's very specific because... But in general, would you apologize if someone took offense to a... I guess the quest... That's the example. Yeah. But specifically, if someone took offense to a joke that you made that you knew was not mean-spirited which that definitely was not no no i thought it was going to be like hey you're fat well that would be yeah not a good

joke right not a good joke yeah but uh i i don't i mean i would just be like you you're you're a well here's what I would have been. I mean, this is so weird because if you're that good of a friend with somebody, you should know what kind of temperament they have with stuff like that. Yeah, yeah. And it's really odd to hit them with something like that and then be so blindsided. And I'm not saying that this guy is wrong in any way, but like, it's just odd that he didn't know that, or maybe she's going through some shit. You're saying know your audience better? Know your audience,

but, but, but it, it, that's so benign. That seems so fucking benign. So I don't, I don't really understand.

That's why I'm, that's why I'm hesitant. That's why I'm, I think maybe she's going through something. Maybe her family was murdered when the sound of music was playing. Yeah. Just like the hills are alive.

And she walks in and the soundtrack's playing and her family's just like hanging. Right right right um i don't i don't know i i don't i don't understand that this is it's so confusing to me because it was benign but i i you know it then it depends on what the friendship is worth right like if the friendship is worth like there's there's a difference between saying i'm sorry for what i did and then saying oh i'm sorry you're offended yeah we're right i think that this calls for one of those situations i'm sorry you're offended yeah i'm sorry you're offended but i completely i'm sorry i offended you was better okay i'm sorry i offended you yeah but this was a complete joke right also the sound

of music fucking rips yeah right you know what i mean like it's one of my favorite musicals how do you know how i feel about this you could be like yo yeah hold on you're assuming that i think that the sound of music is right yeah fuck all that dude and then be like west you know i mean or because you don't want me to do fucking spin move right or just prove you love sound of music and sing more songs yeah music yeah be like oh how much do you know the sound of the music sound of the music yeah how do you know much sound of music i mean right forgot how to speak and then the girl's like well i don't i know the hills are alive and from sound of the music and then you go oh yeah well check this out and you do the whole fucking shit no matter what she's doing from a to z you do the whole fucking soundtrack she tries

to leave get in her car you get in the car with her and you're still singing yeah and then when you're done you go like this oh so that's how much i know about the sound of music and guess what sound of music fucking rips and you i love sound of music what i'm saying is when i hug you and sing that is i love you did you know that no oh you didn't right can i please have a ride home and then well yeah and then you can be offended as well yeah but i do think that there's a big difference between i'm sorry you're offending which is like nothing kind of that's kind of like a bullshit thing to say it's okay to say i'm sorry if i offend i'm sorry i'm sorry that i offended you is an okay apology i'm sorry you're offended is nothing it's just to say i'm sorry if i offend i'm sorry i'm sorry that i offended you is an okay apology

i'm sorry you're offended is nothing it's just like i'm sorry at the way you're made out yeah like think about this if you shit on someone right and you thought it was funny okay but i'm just not ever it's not ever funny but if someone's sleeping and you shit on their neck okay and then they wake up and they're like oh my god there's shit all over my neck. What the fuck? Paul or whatever his name is, you know, he come in and Paul comes in like this. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah. And he's like, did you shit on my neck?

And I'm like, isn't that fucking hilarious? Right. I'm like, no, I demand an apology. Yeah. It's like saying, I'm sorry you got shit on. Yeah, it is. No, that's exactly right though. That's exactly what it's like.

Because it was you, dude. That's why it's not cool. So he should say, I'm sorry I shit on you. You should always say that's exactly right, though. That's exactly what it's like. Because it was you, dude. That's why it's not cool. So he should say, I'm sorry I shit on you. You should always say that if you shit on somebody. Yeah, but I'm saying, it's not like saying, I apologize that I shit on you. It's like saying, I'm sorry you got shit on by me. Yeah, you're taking no responsibility. There you go.

Here's the other thing, though. taking no responsibility there you go here's the other thing though if you if you demand an apology from a friend for a joke that you made yeah you're a fucking weirdo yeah so a good that you i think apologize i don't think you should think about it like it took something out of you like the it's it's on the other person for being that offended for demanding an apology about a sound of music joke right fucking ease up dude yeah that is a fucking weird thing to imagine how she responds to things that are actually offensive right right she's challenging you to a duel a sword fight you know i mean like what the fuck yeah how how bad is it when you really like pull out the big guns on an actual insult does she just like crumble or like use violence like what are the

you got to think about like the levels of offense here yeah true oh you know what she is probably some fucking super woke person right gotta be gotta be but that's not even that though i know it's not but i'm sensing things and what we do is we sense things on this podcast okay i didn't realize that was one of the things that we did probably a woke person and i'm sensing another thing that this guy's a good guy like he's obviously a good guy because he's thinking about he's a good guy right yeah he's a good guy um and and the fact that she's not thinking about it she's like no i demand an apology period i think she's a good guy too she's just got some shit going on that's just one's a good guy struck a chord something struck a chord and i think yeah take the loss whatever apologize whatever let it go but like

that is a fucking weird thing to be all up in arms about yeah i love the sound of music what are you talking about yeah yeah that's so weird that's not offensive at all not at all we figured it out for that guy yep and don't really kind of probably don't really be friends with that person that's oh yeah you gotta because you gotta be so careful i know you gotta be so careful around friends you should just be walking around like this around that person all the time and then say what are you doing to be like well i got to do this because i got a tiptoe around you obviously because you got so offended by a fucking musical i love so passive aggressive do a spin move and go back okay let's spin move again piss me off but okay all right

let's go to the next hi guys um we see so many fans like literal fans um i am a recovering drug addict from very hard drugs deadly drugs and i have been smoking weed for two or three months now after after over a year of sobriety. My private therapist was actually my therapist in rehab, and the rule was for her to be my private therapist, I had to be sober. So I haven't told her that I've been smoking weed in fear that she won't be my therapist anymore. A lot of people in NA and AA will tell you that if you do smoke weed or do anything mind altering, you will resort back to your drug of choice eventually, which isn't even a thought

in my mind because I know it will kill me. So my question is, do I tell her or do I not tell her? Thanks, guys. There's a few parts to that, I think. And I think one is if you have a therapist, you got to tell them. Because that's what they're there for. But also, I'm no fucking expert. But I do truly believe

that weed is not a gateway to other drugs that are going to kill you. That's my opinion. I'm not an expert. I feel kind of like, I don't even want to give that advice. That's my feeling

because I don't want to fucking- Now people are going to be like, well, Matt said it and wind up on a gurney. Right, exactly. That's not what I want. I don't want that at all. That's just my personal feeling.

You don't want to lay people horizontal just because of your bullshit advice. But I've always thought that was weird i know plenty of sober people oops the horizontal you know what i mean about oops because you keep talking over me okay great okay so you know what i mean about oops and i'm gonna keep going right yeah okay so i think that you the i've always been surprised when sober people say that they can't smoke weed but they can't that's part of their fucking program you're not an addict though yeah okay but still it surprises me because i know a lot about weed if you know what i mean right uh

you sell it and it's so stupid it's just it's just i've always thought of weed is extremely harmless uh i don't see it as any kind of gateway. That being said, you do have to tell your therapist. You can't have a relationship with your therapist where you're like, I tell them 90% of shit, but I don't tell them 100% of shit. There's no point of having a therapist if you're not going to tell them the entire truth, especially if they're your therapist from rehab. You don't want to hide that shit from the therapist.

Okay. So I think there's something weird going on here. Okay. First of all, I don't know how normal it is for your therapist in rehab to be your therapist after rehab. I don't know. It might be normal. I've actually never heard that. I've never heard that. So number one, that could be like a pink flag.

You know what I mean? Like almost red. Then there's another thing here where a therapist shouldn't be – I believe, I don't know if this is true or not, but I'm pretty sure that a therapist shouldn't be like, well, if you do this, I'm not going to be your therapist anymore. That's true. You're not going to lose the therapist. You can't, but that's what the therapist is saying. The therapist is saying, if you do, I'll only be your therapist if you stay sober.

So if she doesn't stay sober, what she's saying is, what she's saying, her therapist said is, I can't be your therapist. That's a bad therapist. That's not right to do that. It's to be like, if you do this, I'm not going to be your therapist anymore. Because that just sets her up to fucking lie.

Yeah, that's true. Yes, got into that one, dude. Making it about you. No, but I should have a fucking PhD in this shit. Sometimes you say, I got out of that one and you weren't in it. I wasn't in a thing, dude. So you need therapy. I know.

But what I'm saying is, her and I got into that one. Yes, we got into that one yes we got into that one dude but that's the thing is that's a very odd fucking thing yeah to say as a therapist hey just so you know we're in overeaters overeaters anonymous okay and i'm your therapist for overeaters anonymous yeah and now that's so hard to say because no matter what i do when i say it i fuck it up you fucked it up, right? You fucked it up twice. Overeaters Anonymous. You did it. OA, okay? Okay. So, hey, I'm your Overeaters Anonymous therapist.

Yeah. Check it out. You eat donuts, we can't talk no more. That's bullshit. It defeats the purpose. First of all, you're going to be like, oh, fuck, I'm scared. I don't want to fuck up. And I can't tell them if I do.

Second of all, that makes me want to fucking hightail it to Winchell. Sure, yeah. Because it's like, no, no, no. But when an addict thinks, no, no, no no no they go secretly i could probably get around that right trust me baby i'm an addict right you know and so this is a thing it may not be a gateway drug in the fact that when i get high it wants me to i want to get more high on other shit yeah but you're still doing the illicit behavior that's going to lead to more illicit behavior maybe right but but you know and i know your argument is oh weed isn't a gateway drug hey you drink coffee that's caffeine that's a gateway drug and if you fucking do it that way

every drug's a gateway drug right nicotine a lot of smoke like a motherfucker yeah but um but yeah i don't know dude the the gateway here is lying the gateway here is lying. The gateway here is lying. I agree with that. You're compartmentalizing your life, and you're compartmentalizing your behavior, and think, and you're, well, some people say it's not a gateway drug. That's a slippery slope, dude. That's when the fucking boulder is just a snowball at the top of the hill. Oh, my God.

And guess what happens when it gets lower? It gets bigger and bigger and out of control, and it knocks down everything in your path. So secretly talking about me. I was going to make that joke. But that's the truth, though, dude. But you did it yourself. That is the truth. So you got to be honest with your therapist.

And if they're not going to be your therapist anymore, then either get back into rehab or get a new therapist. Get a new therapist. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. You good? Yeah. I mean, I got into a little bit of preacher mode, but you have to sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. You good? Yeah.

I mean, I got into a little bit of preacher mode, but you have to sometimes. That was good. That was good. I don't have anything more to add to that. Yeah. Okay. All right. Cool.

Good luck, by the way. Good luck, man. And fight the good fight. We've got a ghost. A ghost. Pause it. Pause it. Pause it.

Pause it. Oh, I've been haunting too many people. I'm unsure if I should haunt all races. What do you think about haunting blacks? Wow. Okay. Oh, hi, Madam Chris. My name is Marlon.

Pause it. I really love the show. I really hope. ISIS. All right, cool. Yeah. Is it okay to behead all different races? Okay.

Okay, go ahead. I'm so pissed. Oh, because he's gay, gay, gay. Oh, hi, Matt and Chris. My name is Marlon. I really love the show. I really hope you can also get your dad on for a special episode, maybe. So hot under there.

Look, I've got a girlfriend. We've been together two years. We love each other a lot. I killed her. We want to spend the rest of our lives together. The one thing we don't match up on is our sex drive. Mine's a lot higher than hers. We talk about it a lot and we've accepted that that's just something different

between us. We do have sex like once every week or once every two weeks, but I'm wondering if my libido will eventually drop and match hers or will it continue to be a problem? drop and match hers or will it continue to be a problem should i seek out other options or just try and deal with it i'm for reference we're in our early 30s thanks guys bro he had a fucking towel on his head hey guy right in no i love that i know but dude that's hilarious you had a fucking towel on his head dude it wasn't really the optimal way to do that but also he started talking like dude that was fucking hilarious dude i mean he had a fucking towel on i think he put a thing on his voice didn't he no no dude he definitely just talked like this and he was so hot under there you know well yeah he was so hot and sweaty dude also um you know uh you wanted you want to

fuck more and she doesn't well first of all he said should i explore other alternatives no well well like what though porn that's different i mean if you want to like rub some out throughout the week yeah to like even yourself out and get on her level sure if you do you have clean up right there because you have a towel but if you mean other options cheating on her fucking no right no well don't you know don't don't cheat on her but that's he left it open i'm thinking he's thinking about slipping and you should not slip okay don't you need to do that break up with her that's a valid reason to break up with somebody true hey we don't fuck enough sweetheart gotta go and then go you know doink someone else and then good for you you also have a fucking towel to clean it up later right right okay but um yeah uh she okay i always say this foreplay is everything

until you have sex meaning not just in the bed meaning before that so maybe focus on your partner as much as you possibly can because then everything's clean on your side right i'm doing all i can you walk up to say look sweetheart i'm doing all i can you say to her fucking i'm doing all i can in this relationship and you don't want to have sex with me and i don't know what to do and it's not fucking working right right and you leave what if his girlfriend was in the background she had a towel on her head too they might just have towels on their head they might he might not even be disguised yeah yeah yeah true so um man i don't know by the way that was me i don't know i don't know i think that you this is the age-old struggle you know obviously you want to fuck more because you know you're the guy and she's the girl and then obviously she doesn't want to fuck as much because you're the kind of guy that wears a towel and fucking sends a video to us right actually

because that's not sexy i think that's a that's a common myth that is actually not true girls don't like to doink as much as guys my experience yeah i mean that's not talk to a lot of women who've been unhappy with the amount yeah but women say fucking wants to have sex with them what does that even fucking they say They say shit like, let's fix up an old car, but they don't mean it. But that has, now you're pissing me off.

Why? Because that has absolutely nothing to do with anything. Yeah, it does. And men also just say shit. I know that. So my point is,

women, in my experience, have talked about they don't have enough sex and they want to have more sex, but their partner, their male partner, tends to want to have more sex

in the beginning and the woman wants to have more sex later and the guy's like i'm tired of it so but anyway this is the classic typical common fucking complaint but all you can do is meet her at her place you can't make her have sex with you more because she doesn't want to and if someone man or woman doesn't want to be having sex it sucks to be the person that's like can't we have it more yeah it's so unsexy that sucks it's so unsexy and then you have to think about how you're making the other person have sex with you and that sucks too yeah because when you're like if you come in first of all it's not good for anybody if you're like hey do you think oh maybe we could have sex more

because you are like oh i'm a bitch i'm not a man about it and then she's like what's this fucking punk ass doing you're so insecure bad for everybody so you know what you got to do dude get your confidence up take that towel off you know what you should do you should have fucking sent in the video with your face and been like all right here's what's going on my chick won't do this my chick won't do that i mean he's probably doing it for anonymity reasons because of his chick but i'm saying don't be bashful walk in that spin move mentality is what you need to do fucking damn it man you don't need to do a spin move but if that's a mentality i'm talking about the spin move mentality right and you got to fucking go in with that spin move mentality

and walk maybe get a new way to walk but like figure out it's your real way to walk do you have a towel on your head when you do this or you don't have it no you don't have it bro it's all you and you walk in and you're like sweetheart we're going to fucking botanical gardens or something and then you go there and you think sex the whole time right okay and you do everything you can you get her flowers you make her feel romantic right because maybe this guy's thinking about how oh i'm the fucking i'm i'm working out i'm being sexy but you're not being sexy in the way that she wants to be she thinks that you should be sexy right foreplay is everything up until the bedroom right okay and then fucking there's a book that my therapist says i should read that i didn't read but she's like in the book the guy says that you need to do

everything you can always to try and uh uh everything for your partner that's the only way a relationship works is if you do everything for your partner and That's the only way a relationship works is if you do everything for your partner and it's always on your mind because then they're going to feel wanted and appreciated. Yeah, but what are you saying? You're saying if you think of everything as foreplay, you're constantly leading up to having sex.

Yes. So only twice a week might be okay for you? No, I'm saying she'll want to have it more. Oh, really? Yeah, because you're being romantic and shit. I don't you're being romantic and you're love i mean but here's the thing what if that doesn't pan out for him but you gotta break up really you take your towel and you go somewhere else but what if sex is like not the most important thing to him what if he's in love with her and that's the only thing sounds like sex is the most important thing to him true

yeah maybe it is right maybe sex is not the most important thing to her in which case it's a mismatch in which case it's a mismatch in which case there's other fucking females out there that you can doink. So if everything's good and he just wants to fuck more than she does,

he has to break up with her. Damn, that's so extreme. It sucks, but sex is what? Arguably the most important thing in a relationship? I mean, arguably. I don't think so, man. One or two?

I don't know. I don't know. So it's three? I don't know. It depends on who you fucking are, man. It depends on what your relationship is like. You know? Some people would say way lower than three.

Some people would say, this motherfucker, the ISIS guy, would say one. Casper, the ISIS ghost, would say one. Wonder what she would say. Casper, the ISIS ghost, you know? That's good. Oh, so mad I said it. No, that's great.

Good. I'm glad you thought of something funny. Great. All good. All right. Well, I'd great. Good. I'm glad you thought of something funny. Great. All good. All right. Well, I'd say try to fucking figure out a way that it works for you. If you have to masturbate a couple times in the week, try it. Don't just be like, you don't want to fuck enough?

I'm out. Try all the things because if you break up with her, you might be like later on like, oh man, all I wanted was a little bit more sex and I broke up with that girl. I don't know. Just try it and you know what also you can do is anytime you see like any sort of romance on tv or in a magazine or something and you're with her you could just look at it and then look at her and be like damn sex is awesome huh and then see how she responds and if she says yeah then be like and then move her hair out of the way and then just walk away

you know what i mean but foreplay is everything like prove it yeah foreplay is everything. Be like, prove it. Yeah, foreplay is everything. Okay. You're saying that a lot. I know, but that's because that's what I like to go with. Richard Nixon. Richard Nixon. Richard Dixon. All right.

All right. All right. Nice. What's up, Chris and Matt? Before the pandemic started, for me, what was simply a minor porn addiction grew into a wallet-sucking parasite with the growth of only fans wow the pandemic really accelerated this problem for me due to the isolation and how prone i am to getting addicted to dopamine chases so foreign over the last two years plus i couldn't tell you how much

i've spent and now i'm at the point where after my bills are paid i am door dashing just so i can spend more money on there. It's a problem I can't seem to get away from, and I constantly wonder how many guys my age, 22, are dealing with this problem. Hope to hear your thoughts, and thanks for always reminding me that life rips. Well, dude, I'll tell you what. Leave that up there. I'll tell you what.

OnlyFans is a motherfucking problem, bro. What? How? Bad Baby, that chick? She made $50 million last year on OnlyFans. Who's Bad Baby? She's this chick who is like this 19-year-old fucking girl that is on OnlyFans. She was that Catch Me Outside girl. Oh, my God.

Are you serious? $50 million. So OnlyFans is a motherfucking problem how does that make it a problem that makes it sound like a good thing for her yeah right that means that all these dudes are fucking putting in the money that they have to fucking see this and then a lot of these dudes exist what's it for it's the person it's the it's the um fuck is personal nature of it you know what i mean it's not just porn like i could watch porn and it's just fucking people fucking and it's cool i don't have the thought of oh let me do only fans because they're

just talking to me so when you say the personal nature you mean because it's one-on-one it well it's seemingly one-on-one i mean it's but you can message each other i guess i don't know dirty little secret this might help if he's actually suffering because he's like making connections thinking he's making connections yeah i know for a fact for a fact for a fact so it's a fact yeah whatever you're gonna say it's a fact that the women on only fans yeah who are like bombarded with messages from men who subscribe and pay for videos or whatever the fuck, hire people to respond. Yeah. So, and I know a fucking guy. So you're jerking off to a Russian guy.

Who is hired by women on OnlyFans specifically to respond to messages that come to her. Like, hey baby, thanks sexy. Yeah, sure, I'll do this, whatever. And you're talking to a fucking guy. A Russian guy. No, a guy I know. He's not Russian. Well, if he's doing it, some Russian guy's doing it and then you're jerking off to a fucking guy a russian guy no a guy i know he's not russian well if he's doing it some russian guy's doing it and then you're jerking

off to a russian guy why did you make it russian well because it's a little bit fucking weirder if you think you're talking to this fucking 20 year old chick oh and in reality you're not just talking to one of matt delia's friend you're talking about to some russian guy that's just like that is right let me suck your cock how crazy i I like to use lots of spit. Yeah. You know what I mean? And the guy's just like, yeah. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Why is he Beavis? But yeah. But so, and yeah. And I liaison as one of those guys. So you might be talking to me. You might be talking to me. You could.

Oh, I would love to have that job, dude. I would love to make dudes horny on OnlyFans. I would do it all day. I would do. Talk about addiction, dude. I would love to make dudes horny on OnlyFans. I would do it all day. Talk about addiction, dude. I'd do it all day long. What would you write? Oh, dude, I would be so coy. Forget it.

In the beginning, I would play hard to get. Okay. I would have played crazy. Dude, it would be like my golden eye. I would have so much fun doing it. Give me an example. Oh, nothing. Just lounging in an old football jersey.

Do you know what I mean? Okay. That would be the beginning, dude. That would be like the selector character. Odd job. So how about when it's like down the road and like you're really getting a lot of money to make like dildo videos, you know? Am I on my knees?

I'm underground. Oh. Yeah, dude. That's me. I'm underground. No one wants that though. though no that's not true why are you underground like a necrophilia no like i'm so low below you i'm subservient oh yeah exactly okay yeah yeah fuck yeah dude yeah all right weird shit dude yeah oh yeah you're the kid

not only would i call you the king uh-huh i would literally call you like lebron oh yeah is that you're the goat that would be me i'm underground and you're the goat bro bro i would slip a little bit give it away yeah yeah you need a proofreader just getting my four shots of espresso in an old football jersey wait a minute is this chris delia no no no no wait i have a real thing though we're talking about i'm dying and we're talking about an addict here right yeah this is an addict situation 100 so you're addicted i don't know if there's he said he's addicted to dopamine chases yeah well if you know that then maybe actually there's like groups for this there's actual therapy for this kind of shit if you really want to stop that might be the only way because clearly you're aware of your problem and you ain't fucking stopping is it affecting your life is it affecting

your uh relationships is affecting your income it is affecting all of these things you're only 22 it started with a minor porn addiction and the pandemic wasn't nice to anyone unless you already had a billion dollars so so true so this guy is struggling and it is a real struggle. Yeah. Clearly, you have an addiction. And also, if you're using DoorDash, I mean, get help. You know what he's saying? He's working as a DoorDasher.

Oh, got it. Yeah, yeah. Oh. Just to make ends meet. So you're not even working for Postmates. You're working for DoorDash. He's not even a post get help dude if you have anything to do with doordash get help i ordered doordash you don't use postmates or uber do if something's not on postmates and then it's on doordash and you get it yeah what's

on doordash you what are you getting like chalupas and shit from taco bell cafe de leche what's that it's a fucking place you asked me where i get it from that's where i get it from but what is it fast food no it's a coffee shop do they what are you getting fucking hungry no no i want coffee it's just a place that i ordered from doordash that isn't on postmates does it have a good coffee it has a good coffee doordash they show up and they just like throw the shit at your door though is it smashed when you get it oh they do do this guy fucking stop being shitty on doordash basically my advice to this guy is okay don't be shitty when you deliver your food because doordash sucks and you fucking terrible what happened to you on doordash you my advice to this guy is okay don't be shitty when you deliver your food because doordash sucks and you fucking terrible what happened to you on doordash you got something

going on something bad happened honestly nah it's just i think this guy's got a real problem and you need to fucking get it get your life fixed but also here's the deal dude um cut up your credit cards hide your credit cards um you know you're not talking to anybody but some Russian dudes really most of the time. Yeah. Haha, you jerked off to Russian guys. Well, but he did though

probably at least once. So, no, he didn't jerk off to Russian guys. He probably thinks he's talking to some woman and it's not a woman.

You jerked off to Vlad. If you think you have a personal relationship with someone on OnlyFans, I'll tell you right fucking now, you do not okay at all you do not it's some fucking guy or some woman who doesn't give a fucking shit about you you should give some money to her but that's kind of some guys like that like you don't care

about me nice splurt you jerked off to dimitri okay there are guys on on on only fans too right i'm getting ideas yeah oh dude i saw an only fans guy once swear to god we signed up for it as a joke okay not not gay we're not gay okay it's fine but it's fine doesn't matter if you are but we did it as a joke because we really like this guy on instagram and he was fucking so ironically funny like we were just laughing at this guy he's like sign up for my only fans and we signed up for his only fans dude and he fucking jerked off naked in the kitchen and just came on the floor on the linoleum dude and he was fucking i mean he was beating it so hard dude and it was so funny because he was like and dude he was straightening his legs like obviously he couldn't he couldn't bust unless

his legs were really straight and his quads were fucking tight and dude he was straightening his legs like obviously he couldn't he couldn't bust unless his legs were really straight and his quads were fucking tight and dude he was trying to tighten his quads dude and he finally came and he almost passed out and we were dying dude and when you say we me and the homies and dude um yeah yeah i didn't know if you meant you and Kristen, yeah. Yeah. Or you and Cal. Terrible. Me and my homies. Me and my homies. So all you did was subscribe to his OnlyFans, watch him jerk off on the kitchen floor? We're watching guys jerk off in the kitchen like every day.

Me and my homies. We're watching guys tighten their quads. What did you say? I didn't really say anything. You said we were watching guys jerk off in the linoleum. Oh, is that all you watched them do? Yeah, that was... And then I think there was one other one that we watched,

but we didn't watch because we were already... We busted a nut, so... Oh, okay. Yeah, when it's over, it's over. Okay. Me and my homies, though. Nate Dogg. Well, it is a Nate Dogg song. Oh, well, there you go. Me and my homies, yeah. dog well it is a nate dog oh well there you go one of the only rappers i know yeah he's not a rapper he's a singer racist so um all right let's do another one

hey matt and chris what's up it's grace from michigan hi grace what up getting your advice on a question for kind of both my husband and I. We have been together since high school. I'm now 23. He's 25. We've been married for two years and our parents are constantly asking us when are you going to have kids? Get some grandkids and you know my husband and I just like vacationing. We like having time for him and I. We really enjoy this time that we can have just the two of us and all of our friends have kids. So it's constantly a thing to like, you know, should we have kids that are around their kids' age? Should we worry about that? And yeah, just wanted your opinion. I know,

Chris, you have a beautiful baby boy and man I'm sure that you'd be a great father one day if it's in your future and um yeah you know my husband and I have been fans of you guys for a while we've been ride or dies for Chris through everything support you through everything I'm an ER nurse so I've been through a lot and my husband's a therapist so he we both have pretty heavy jobs and we just appreciate all the laughs that you guys give us. Whether it's this podcast, congratulations or King,

the sting, the wing. Yeah. So just get back with that. If you're good with that and love to hear your advice. Thanks guys. Sounds like you're running to go. So you go first.

Sweet heart, sweetheart. And here's the deal. First of all, we, this is adorable because she fucking sent something in the king of this thing in the wing and we just covered it yesterday which comes out she's famous yeah she's fucking she's she's a star to leave a circle famous so she uh she did she did and i was like telling them one thing and they were like i can't remember what the fucking we we we butt heads on something the guys and i but now telling them one thing and they were like i can't remember what the fucking we we butt heads on something the guys and i but now i'm glad she's asked it on life lifeline okay

because i want to hear what you have to say was this the question she asked on that the same question oh really i was like i know this chick how do i know her and then my heart started beating i thought oh and then i realized oh no it's just from kicking this thing in the wing right okay and so um because she had her er shit on okay and it was in the car okay and i was like oh okay so i think here's the d you want to go go ahead no i think that dude you this is the main problem people whether it be your mom or your dad or whoever, they're friends. Dude, it's so annoying. Everybody wants you to go to the next step. Yes.

Dude, let me live, motherfucker. Yes. Let me live. Now, this is where, honestly, and I know you don't like this, but the spin move would work in spades, dude. Okay, so give me. When are you having kids i am one spin out and leave dude she's also 23 dude what the fuck is that in the moment dude every time you do something it's not good enough somebody comes up well when you're gonna have kids yeah boom you have a kid you're happy now oh when you're gonna have another one give them a brother

or sister you're happy now you got two kids oh what the question just you know what shoot right to the question you really want to ask when are you dying yeah right yeah shoot right to it dude yeah when someone asks you hey when are you having a kid go like this i'll probably leave it to be 95 and that's when i'll die. Right, yeah. Because that's what you're really asking. Cut to the chase. Let me live, motherfucker. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, I completely fucking agree. I think that it depends on your relationship with your parents, but just generally, I think it should go something like this. Like, ask me, say, when are you going to, Matt, when do you think you're going to have this?

Matt, when are you guys going to have this? Whenever the fuck I want. So aggressive. it though and that's it you know why that's shitty you know why they won't ask again right right that is true because they're not gonna stop asking they're gonna be sideways about it they're gonna be this gonna be that if you come down hard that one fucking time they won't do it again that is such a fucking stupid question for, what is it, 1824? It's not 200 fucking years ago. Right. It's not.

It's 2022. Fucking, she's 23 years old. Yeah. Yeah. Spin move mentality. Your parents need to fucking relax. What are they, Quakers? I can't remember.

Maybe they are. I can't remember if it was, she did look like she could have parents that would be Quakers, honestly. Yeah, maybe. they are i can't remember if it was uh she did look like she could have parents that would be quakers honestly yeah maybe but um maybe i think that uh i think that possibly was she talking about only her parents doing it or everyone doing it it sounds i thought she said just her parents i thought that too but maybe not but honestly everyone does it and it's just annoying dude it's annoying friends do it it's annoying to do that to someone who's 33 23 dude or just tell them you're not gonna

have kids hey look i'm not having kids and if one pops out great no i'm not gonna have you know what you could actually you pushed it back you push it back yeah if you ask me again never that's the that's the best that is the best fucking answer if you ask me again never and i want kids so if you ask me again you ruin my life thanks a lot that's a good one that's that's yeah that's it oh shit dude that's awesome that's that's that's the that's the answer and then if they ask again go like this thanks for ruining my life yeah i mean that's and then you blast neelly out of the fucking thing. Thanks for ruining my life. Hot and so hot in here. You thought of that because it's hot as fuck in here.

It is hot as fuck in here, but you're the one who keeps coming up wearing fucking velour. Don't, don't, don't. No, but I think though. That's so stupid to say it like that you could do that to your parents too just don't don't but uh fucking forgot i was gonna fucking say oh also dude when she started the video it made it sound like she's like guilty about like enjoying her life and wanting to travel and fuck that dude wow you're gonna have whenever you have kids from that point forward you're never not gonna have kids enjoy your life take

as long as you want you're 23 take 10 15 fucking years if you want to well the womb gets crusty but okay no 10 15 20 fucking years people having babies in their late 40s now fuck your parents fuck her parents well deep so deeper don't forget the womb gets crusty okay fuck your parents deeper all right so you want to undo how many more do we have set it so fast one or two oh only has one and then he said one or two to make us feel okay about it safer but it's panicking for oh sweating so hard even let's get it let's get it let's get it let's get it fucking little pump you and then also Lil Pump this girl Hey guys my name is Channing My boyfriend and I are both True babies

Huge fans of both of you So We're both going to be going To therapy soon Not together just separately And I've always appreciated the fact that Both of you are very open About going to therapy

and seeking help it's not a thing a lot of young men do right now so I'm just wondering if you have any words of wisdom or helpful advice for people just taking

that leap and starting to go in that direction. Alright, love you guys bye i kind of do i think there's there's one thing that i i think i think when you go to therapy it's a common thing to be like i'm not gonna be defensive i'm gonna like i'm gonna like go along with it and like be open to the shit and whatever the fuck and be like if they say something that i don't agree with i'm gonna think about it and listen and like sometimes you you know you better than your new therapist okay so sometimes it's okay to be like no no so i'm gonna stop you there fucking no you're just wrong about me and that i think people have like a at least i did i had like a hesitation at first when i

started doing therapy about like giving them a long leash but dude you're there on your dime that person also works for you and i don't mean that in like a customer is always right way you're not always right especially in therapy but i do think that like at least for me again speaking only for myself i did kind of overdo the like i'm gonna be like open and like listen to what this therapist says because they're such an expert and i'm just this motherfucker with tons of problems right which is true don't get me fucking wrong but at a certain point you can be like uh no just fucking no and i'm not being defensive but you're wrong okay do you say you're wrong to your therapist a lot have you said you're wrong to therapists a lot? Well, no.

You just say like, no, I don't think that's the thing. Yeah, like, no. I mean, I know what you're saying, but that's really not where I'm coming from. Yeah, and what would your therapist say? She'd just go like this.

No, she would just, she just says okay. Oh, okay. Well, that's good. She says okay. I don't know what she's thinking. Right, right. She goes like this.

Okay. Right, I mean, it could be that in her mind. But to her credit, she at least acts like she hears me and believes me. Yeah. Well, I guess she's asking if therapy is a good thing. And I don't really understand the clear question. Scatting.

She's saying, do you have any... She's clearly having a little bit of trepidation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. About starting therapy. Do you have any she's clearly having a little bit of trepidation yeah yeah about starting therapy do you have any general advice which is exactly what she asked so i don't know why okay so that's what you give her general advice and not specific advice my shit is more i give specific advice because i'm a b give specific advice about your fucking experience about fucking therapy so okay so um first of all there's a lot of bad therapists out there yes that see yeah do you know why there's a lot of bad therapists out there yes that see yeah do you know why there's a lot of bad everything at every job out there so true i mean think about how many

fucking bad really the only job where everybody is pretty good is sports player yeah because it's a true meritocracy right meritocracy true and i know what that word means what does it mean yeah for about sports so it's whoever gets the most merit is the best. Well, yeah, but. Yes, got out of that one. But you don't know what that means. No, I do. And I do.

But it's like when it comes to therapy, you need to figure out. If you're like me, I go to therapists and I just think, okay, this is a great therapist. Like I just go in and I think that. And then it takes me a few weeks. I'm like, wait a second. I don't know. Like I went to one therapist. You do need a few weeks regardless. Yeah, you do need a great therapist. Like I just go in and I think that, and then it takes me a few weeks. I'm like, wait a second. I don't know. Like I went to one therapist. You do need a few weeks regardless.

Yeah, you do need a few weeks. But I went to one therapist that said fucking nothing. Like actually didn't use his voice? Pretty much nothing. Whoa, really? Almost it was like Dr. Wall. Like he just fucking, it was like I was speaking a monologue in a play.

Okay. With a bad audience. Do you think this was a strategy or yes it was bad it was like a freudian fucking freudian yeah yeah it was like a freudian yeah uh uh the branch davidian no but people say freudian slip yeah when they're saying it wrong freudian freudian slip could be mistaken as a freudian slip freudian slip freudian like sigmund fucking i know sigmund freud then that's where it comes from but when you fucking make it a whole different word you you like gotta

like flower it up when you're wanting to be wrong yeah freudian slip he's dying he's dying freudian slip freudian slip freudian because his name is freudian say this word c-h-H-O-R-C-O-A-L. C-H-O-R-C... Say it again? Why don't... You draw with it. C-H-O-R-C... Chork.

You know what I'm spelling, right? No. C-H-A-R... A-R. C-O-A-L. Char-R. C-O-A-L. Charcoal, motherfucker. Right. Charcoal.

What? Because people will be like, charcoal. Okay, well, you're not talking about emphasis. You're talking about the actual wrong fucking fuck word. Let me try to think about this in a fucking different way, dude. Okay. Whatever, dude. It's Freudian.

It's definitely whatever, but it's freudian and so anyway freudian okay so what was we talking oh yeah it's a freudian fucking way to do it is to just fucking sit back and let the person talk that's what my other therapy yeah okay yes that okay yeah and i'm talking to this guy and i'm doing it in the fucking freudian way yeah freudian freudian i mean freudian sounds cooler yeah it's just not the way it is so anyway you can't say words just how they would

sound cooler because then no one would understand each other you knew what I meant yeah yes got into that one so Freudian slip so

so he was saying shit like nothing and I was like and then I went to a new therapist and I was like he doesn't really say much and he's like yeah that's a Freudian technique and I was like, and then I went to a new therapist and I was like, he doesn't really say much.

He's like, yeah, that's a Freudian technique. And I was like, okay, I'm not doing, I'm not going to go to him anymore. I didn't go to him anymore. So my point is, find out who your therapist

should be first. Don't just go to one and then stick with that one. They're not all good. I agree. Most of them are bad, just like everything is, unless it comes to a fucking what?

Meritocracy. And we both know what that means. So. I also think the same is true the other way don't be like i'm gonna shop around if you find someone you like you're fucking lucky and don't not trust that right if you find someone you like you are lucky and you are you should fucking thank your lucky fucking stars that you got it right the first go because that's's not common. Last time I saw that guy, that Freudian guy that does it, he had a huge fucking coffee spill on his shirt. Like a huge coffee spill on his shirt. This guy sucks, dude.

I know. Dude, and I said to him, and I was just talking, talking, never saying anything. In the middle of the session, I said, you spilled coffee on your shirt, huh? And he was like, yes, I did. I spilled coffee. And he was just like, I got coffee.

I spilled it, and I didn't have a change. Sometimes I have a change here, and I didn't have one. So I'm sorry about that. And I was just like, not for me, dude. Yeah, really. I'm out. Yeah, you can't see a client with a big coffee stain on your shirt. I know, dude.

Because you're a fucking barista. I know. That's a bad look. That motherfucker sucks, dude. Whatever. I mean, whatever, dude. I mean, I'm sure he made a lot of money. I'll tell you what, he makes a lot of money, dude.

Yeah, but Freudian therapists, they also fucking suck, dude. Whatever. I mean, whatever, dude. I mean, I'm sure he made a lot of money. I'll tell you what, he makes a lot of money, dude. Yeah, but Freudian therapists, they also fucking suck, dude. Really? Get your shit updated. Yeah. I guess so, dude. I fucking was going to a lot of therapists. I did that one, and then I did another one that was bio. What was it?

What's that? Bio. Biodome? No. With Pauly Shore and Stephen Baldwin? It was with Charlie. Pauly Shore. Charlie Shore.

It was Dr. Weez. biodome no with paul sure and steven baldwin it was with charlie probably sure charlie sure it was uh dr wheeze what the fuck was it called bio fucking something therapy feedback or some shit i don't remember what it was what did it do like what did you do he it was for my ocd and he was like he and it was like uh you have, he was giving me all sorts of ways to combat my OCD. And one of the ways was, have you ever, he was like, what about the who cares technique? And I was like, what? And he was like, so if you don't, say if you don't close the door right, your family's going to die in a plane crash. And I was like, I'm with you so far. You're speaking my language. And he was like, who cares?

The worst doctor in the fucking world. Swear to God. Swear to God. That's what he said. And I said, what? Yeah, what is it? And he was like,

I'll take a lesser example. Say you hop over a crack and you think your mom's back is going to break. And I said, what? Yeah, what is it? And he was like, well, take a lesser example. Say you hop over a crack and you think your mom's back is going to break. And I said, okay. And he goes like this, who cares? And I was like, well, my mom's back would be broken. That's a bad thing. And he says, and then what?

And then I said, well, then she'd be like bedridden. In pain, deep pain. And then what? And I said, and then what i said and then and then i don't know i guess it would last for a few months and then what wow i'm doing that and i say then i guess you would have to go to physical therapy and get better yeah and then she would be better right and i said whoa dude this guy's heartless yeah bio heartlessness yeah and i was like oh okay and then he was like that's the so what technique and that was about the last time i saw him but i did see him for a few weeks um

yeah man and uh but there that is a uh that is a a technique i don't know if it's the so what technique or if it's the that might it sounds who cares i can't remember what oh the who cares yeah but it was funny as shit and i for the little things, it makes sense. But your family died in a plane crash. Yeah, no. That's not so what, dude. Only if you're- You've got to become a fucking Jeff Bridges character.

Extremely heartless. Would you say who cares? Yeah. Oh, my parents and brother died in a plane crash? Yeah. So that- Who cares? So that is my-

What? I've got to get a whole bunch of other therapists if that happens. Yeah, really. So that is a therapist that i i stopped seeing so make sure you get the right therapist what i'm saying i do think it's great that you're both going to see therapists individually yes and not together first i because you got to figure out what the fucking root of the shit is and the root of the shit starts with you and for him the root of the shit starts with him so coming together after that would be great with all the tools that

you learned the therapy i made the biggest mistake one time i was dating somebody and i shit all over the couch and then i said who cares and then she had a therapist for many years and we wanted to go to couples therapy at one point and we were like let's try going she was like let's try going to my therapist oh and i and i went in i was like all right this would be great every motherfucking goddamn motherfucking thing that came up she was right and i needed to do this or that or that or that and i was like could you can you at least pretend to not be biased motherfucker you know you know what you know what i would think that she would i would think she would err on the other side if she was a good therapist at least because she'd

be like i want this guy to at least feel safe it was him and i would i thought that too but nope at the gate wow and meanwhile that woman who i was dating is the craziest person I've ever met. Wow. So that therapist sucked. I don't understand. Well, I guess that's the thing. If you're a crazy person and you think, oh, I got to get into therapy because people say I should get into therapy, I got to get into therapy. If you're a crazy person, you're going to eventually just weed out all the therapists until you get one that agrees with

you yeah that's oh damn that's a good point you know what i'm saying if you're a terrible person mentally right you're gonna be like this therapist sucks he disagrees with me on everything in real life you're fucking an insane person yes right yes yes yes yes yes this therapist sucks right talking wolf right you know what i mean and it's like yeah so yeah yeah i'm gonna talk in wolf and i don't mean that in the indian way right i want to talk i mean like an actual yeah wolf that talks yeah not like oh hello talking wolf okay well let's ride into the sunset no one thought you meant that i mean everyone native american fan base that we have probably thought that. Everyone knew you meant a wolf that talks.

Not if your name runs with deer and you listen to this podcast. Okay. They could think, oh, I know Talking Wolf. Why is that crazy? And then they get so pissed off and run off into the sunset and never listen to this podcast. Again, I don't want to lose that fan base. Okay. Well, you're losing it now.

Trust me. No way, dude. I guarantee this will get us more Native American nope absolutely not demographic nope anyway dude whatever okay i i'm shooting this before i'm being in phoenix but i was in phoenix and i had a great time thanks for coming out guys and thanks for wearing your merch which we do that you can get at crystalia.com how was it how was ph was Phoenix? It was fucking crazy, man. A lot of people. Yeah.

Some guy stabbed me. Oh, oh. You all right? I'm fine. Yeah, I'm fine, dude. It's a day later. I did Phoenix yesterday if you're watching this.

A guy stabbed me. I'm fine. Oh. That's how great I am. Wow. Strong guy. Yep. Who cares?

Who cares? A guy stabbed you. Who cares? So, yeah. Thanks for watching. Also, if you're a fan, congratulations. Thanks for watching. Subscribe to this channel.

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Go ahead. Send in a video. Link is in the description below. Or go to watchlifeline.com. Yes. Okay. Thank you very much. Thanks for watching.

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