Lifeline - 41. Tiers of Terribleness

Episode Date: January 22, 2023

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Hello. Hello. Hello. yeah welcome to lifeline you guys welcome back for another rip-roaring episode you know what i mean we're recording yeah we are recording and i will be in when does this come out sunday oh dude i will be in seattle tonight chrisalia.com and i will be in Seattle tonight, chrysalia.com. And I will be in Rhode Island and New York and San Antonio and Sugar Land, Texas, chrysalia.com. Oh, I'll be in Jacksonville and Lakeland, Florida, and also Daytona, Florida. So go to chrysalia.com to get those tickets. And that's that. You're going to put the thing on the screen here. So you're going to talk about the thing. It's being so vague, just saying things. You want to go...

You got a question? Click the link below or go to lifeline.com. Oh, watch lifeline.com. Oh, this is fucked up because there's a space. Well, there's a space in the fucking thing. Watch space lifeline.com. I don't know why there'd be a fucking space and the other thing is underlined. But that's okay.

Hyperlinked. Hyperlinked hyperlinked yeah say one on one advice you want one on one advice yeah maybe people do yeah if they do they should go to mattalia.com and book a session with me mattalia there you go get yourself out of a hole yeah out of a conundrum the hole getter outer whatever you need um and then we got the we talk about it we got the great lifeline merch is at at lifeline it's at lifeline merch.com um so yeah that's it dude sorry dude sorry sorry we just said that but we had to pay some bills you know what i mean we gotta pay some bills that's what they say on the radio we'll be right back we gotta pay some bills yeah and then they go to the commercial hey do you know anything about the death of casey casem no i know i i i guess i just i knew he died i guess i

knew he died too but apparently there's some scandal the truth like the some mystery about his death why but like someone i don't know but here's the thing every time i open youtube uh it's it's a suggested video i'm casey casem the mystery of casey cas Kasem's death and I don't click it oh well but I think about it all the time so I'm always like well just click it

whenever I think I'm Casey but see I looked see I know I looked on Wikipedia and it wasn't that shady I'm Casey Kasem and there's something

that happened that's fishy how I died I'm Casey Kasem and I'm dying of an illness I think but it might be

because of something else. Was it a... Coming in at number five. What was he on? What was he on? The radio. Oh, really? Yeah.

But what station? Also Scooby-Doo. What do you mean Scooby-Doo? What did he do for Scooby-Doo? He was the voice of Shaggy. He was? Yeah. I'm Casey Kasem, coming in at number three, Wrongful Death.

Wait. I'm Casey Kasem. Coming in at number three, Wrongful Death. Wait. I don't know. Oh, wow. Oh, wowza. I'm Shaggy. Coming in at number five, I'm Shaggy. Dude. Dude.

Dude, isn't it weird that we used to listen to him do like the top yeah 100 greatest whatever coming in at number 10 it wasn't me from shaggy and it wasn't me i died and it wasn't me somebody did it wow the worst song title of all time i'm casey gaysham why are you doing it like you just got out of the dentist someone killed me coming in at number three someone killed me no no one killed him it's like his family something about his family yeah coming in at number six something about my family okay that's really um so yes a case of kid well no i didn't know about that but i'll have to look

into it you know i have to do my research Maybe have some answers for me next time I ask. Yeah, I will. So, yeah, anyway. But, yeah. What the fuck is that noise? Oh, someone upstairs. Dude, my son got his big boy bed just today. He got his big boy bed, and it's really cute.

Cute. Not cute. You know what? It's really cute. It's cute, dude. And he likes it. He wasn't sure because he had the crib with the wall off of it you know he just would kind of crawl in his own crib we had three sides do you know i'm talking about like a crib that it is but you take the the side off and it

makes it like it's a nice transition into a bigger bed and so then i so then i got rid of that because i got another baby i got the other baby coming and the other baby's gonna sleep in the crib now and then we're going to put the wall back up on that thing. And then he's got his big boy bed and they came today. So what does the, what do you know

about the second baby so far? It's a boy. And he's coming. Is it named? No, we don't know the name yet. Okay. Yeah. We have ideas,

but we don't know. Yeah. What do you think the name should be? Drop the names in the, drop it in the comments. Do you know what I mean? So fucking YouTubey. You guys, what do you think the name of my new the names in the cup drop it in the comments you know what i mean so fucking youtubey you guys what do you think the name of my new baby should be drop it in the comments i'll pick i'll pick the one i'll pick the best one hey your name is lightning rod um do you want to tell everybody what mom wanted to name one of us

she wanted to name me thaddeus yeah that's the one I was thinking of. Yeah, dude. Coming in at number one. No. Dude, Thaddeus? What would they call me? Tad? Worse. No, Thad. Thad? Worse.

Thad. Dude, Tad? No, it's Tad is the nickname for Thaddeus. She said she would have called you Thad. Dude, has a lisp talking about emotions. I'm Thad. My son is Thad. I'm Thad. Nice to meet you.

Oh, it's going to be okay. I'm Thad. Nice to meet you. Oh, it's going to be okay. I'm Thad. Nice to meet you. See ya. Wow. Someone driving away because my name is Thad. Yeah, dude. So if your name is Thaddeus, I'm sorry.

How different would your life be if your name was Thaddeus? Well, I'll tell you what. I would have went to full school. I would have went to fucking as much school as possible. I would have got some sort of degree. And I would be fucking... Honestly, I would do mounds of cocaine. Whoa.

Mounds of cocaine if my name is Thaddeus. I feel like if you're Thaddeus, you need to be in academia somehow. Exactly. Like a professor or something. So loads and loads of school, massive amounts of cocaine. Professors don't do cocaine typically.

Okay, so that's where you're wrong because I would be the professor that does do cocaine and I would do mounds and mounds of it. And Scarface would be my favorite movie and A Beautiful Mind. Both of those movies would be my favorite movies for different reasons. And then I would do mounds of cocaine. I've been thinking about this, dude. I should probably start doing cocaine.

You mentioned that, which is weird. Why do you say that? Also, first of all, no, you shouldn't. I need to. Okay. Second of all, why do you say that? I, first of all, no, you shouldn't. I need to. Okay. Second of all, why do you say that? I need to get a go-getter attitude. I need to get up and just go, let's do this.

Because I don't do that. Okay. How about other things first? Like? I mean, I don't know. Many, many things. Like go to bed at the right time and wake up early. Okay.

Get on the, what is it? Circadian rhythms? Get on a cycle, dude. Your sleep's all fucked up you wake up at 11 a.m sometimes yeah but that's because i do like shows and it's late and then i come home and it's one and then i go to sleep at like 2 30 because i'm fucking jacked and i have to watch like an episode of you know what i mean kill thy neighbor and so it's like to wind down though you know what i'm saying no you should just go straight to bed when you get home and then dude i'll toss

and turn i've tried to do that. If I do that, I'll stay up till five because I'm just like this, waiting and bored. So I have to like wind down, maybe even watch like some South Park or something like that if I want some yucks. But like, you know, it's... What do you think? That you should do? You said Adderall, but that's like...

I didn't say Adderall. But you said it earlier. Someone else said Adderall. Okay, so someone said Adderall, but it's like... And I said Adderall is better than than cocaine i don't want to get hooked on something though then why are you gonna do cocaine i feel like adderall i couldn't take it because it's a prescription cocaine i feel like i could do it because because here's the other thing too when i do when i do cocaine and i've never done it but when i do it i want to make

sure people know i do it and i want to have the powder all over my face all the time i can't stand watching people do coke during shows you don't have to see me do it. And I want to have the powder all over my face all the time. I can't stand watching people do cocaine. During shows. You don't have to see me do it. But I want you to see like the smear and be like, yo, what's up, everybody? How you doing? Like doing my shows. And be like, he's on coke.

And be like, I'm on coke. You know? People on cocaine are the most. Of all the drugs. Yeah. Like being around people on different drugs. People on cocaine are the most annoying. And I've been around many people on like ecstasy, which are also so annoying.

But it's not even close. True. Cocaine is just like you make me anxious when you're on cocaine. True, yeah. I don't like cocaine. There's a lot of people who do cocaine. I've never done cocaine. And people honestly think I'm always on cocaine anyway.

I can't imagine. If I was on cocaine, I'd probably be able to float. Or do magic or something. I mean, people are like this guy's coked out of his gourd all the time i told you about the fucking that shit that happened to me yep yeah yeah people just come people think i look so much like i do cocaine they come up to me and ask me if i have cocaine and when i say no inevitably because i never do because that's one drug i've never done they look at me cockeyed and they think i'm like lying oh you've never done

cocaine no i've never i didn't know that okay uh but but what about the thing when you went to go get your surgery remember i thought that's what you were going to talk about what remember the doctor was like yeah we have to talk about your cocaine problem oh yeah yeah my nose well i've talked about that on this yeah you have actually never mind but yeah my septum was so deviated my sinuses were so fucked up that my doctor had like a sit down with me. Yeah. And like, what do you call it? Like he had brochures and shit about how to get off cocaine.

Right. I felt like a liar because I was just like, look, I know how it's going to sound. Right. Everyone that you approach like this says this, but I've actually never even had cocaine once in my life. That's so funny, dude. Well, whatever. You know, at least that you're in good health and you don't do cocaine.

I look like I do cocaine on the outside and the inside apparently right that's the moral of the story so why have you never done cocaine i don't like people on cocaine the first reason is that interesting second reason is i have like a weird visceral disgust reaction to people snorting powders oh really i've done it i've snorted powders what have you started i was in something where i had to act like i was uh snorting cocaine what was it like a movie thing i understand what was the thing you were snorting oh uh i don't know actually so whatever it is didn't ask such an idiot i did ask but it was a long time ago but you know this you do you like you'd get the prop stuff. Yeah, I know. And I snorted it. But sometimes it's just

baking soda, sometimes it's just like... Oh, is it okay to do that with baking soda? Is it cornstarch? Well, whatever it was, I did it and I didn't get high. Yeah, no shit.

But I was still worried because I was like, will I get high? I've never done drugs and they're like, there's no drugs in this. I was like, okay. I remember you used to get worried

that you would get contact high from being around people who were smoking weed. Right. Well, yeah, but you can though. Not dude if you're hot boxing what is hot boxing inside like a really tight space and they need to be blowing smoke into your orifices really yeah if you're just hot box in a fucking like bedroom and people are smoking you can't get a contact high i mean i would never i just don't i don't want to be a lot high? I mean, I never have. I just don't. I don't want to be around people. I've been to a lot of those rooms, but I'm never out of contact.

My whole thing is, if you're going to do drugs, do the drugs that don't fucking smell and like, you know what I mean? Get in my clothes. Weed is the worst. No, weed is not really a drug. Weed is for everybody. But that's fine, though. But I don't want it to be all like in my face, plumes of smoke. It's like vaping is the worst so

get people to do smoking out of mind for some reason get people to do edibles around you right right right way better way better carry edibles okay before they light their shit say no no here you go and give them an edible yeah is it legal to carry around edibles yes is it okay it is even if you don't have a license you don't need a license? You don't need a license, dude. You don't? This is California. California's weed is... Like, I could go get weed right now without a card. You could go into any store... Not without a card.

ID only. I thought there were cards that you had to have. Nope. That was years and years ago. That's the old way. Hell yeah, dude. We're making progress, dude. Get with the program, grandpa.

Maybe I should just go to one of the stores, get the weed. Do they sell brownies? They do, right? Yeah, they sell everything. Oh, fuck, man. Or maybe I want to smoke that loud, though. You want to smoke now? No, I don just go to one of the stores, get the weed. Do they sell brownies? They do, right? Yeah, they sell everything. Oh, fuck, man. Or maybe I want to smoke that loud, though. You want to smoke now? No, I don't want to.

I'm just saying if I'm outside and I'm outside of the place and I get it and I light up and I just smoke the sticky icky, it might be nice. It might be nice, but you've never smoked weed, have you? No, never. No. I should probably eat it. You're right. But here's the bullshit about eating weed, okay?

I want to eat more than just a little piece of a brownie. Brownies are fucking awesome. I agree. But here's the thing that is weird. I have such a high tolerance now, and I'm so used to it, that I can eat any well-made edible and not taste the weed. Then the person that I'm with will be like, really? And taste it, and they'll spit it out.

They'll be like, this is fucking disgusting. It tastes like weed. I don't... For some reason, I guess it's because i've had so many of them i don't taste the weed in it anymore i only taste the the sweet thing or the yeah whatever i mean sometimes it's not chocolate but why don't they everyone likes more brownies is what i'm saying why don't they just spread the weed out and make it a little bit like more you know what i'm saying and then this way you could have two three brownies because i think and get equally as high with just one bite because i think with edibles you just want to get high you don't want an entire fucking brownie but this is

not for brownie lovers it's for weed lovers do you know what i'm saying to tolerate it going down if you want a brownie you get a regular right oh i guess too you could eat just like one little bit of weed brownies but then also regular brownies yes you could do that you could eat just like one little bit of weed brownies, but then also regular brownies. Yes. You could do that. You could totally do that. I want to get high, so high. So nasal, so nasal. Be real, like some of my Instagram posts. Anyway, let's get going.

Was that Cypress Hill? Yeah. Nice. He liked some of my Instagram posts. It doesn't matter at all. My DM, it's fine. But I want to get high, so high. Okay.

Okay. So let's go to the first thing. Here we go. School shooter. What's up, boys? This is Drayton from Atlanta. Drayton. Love y'all out here.

Keep doing what you're doing. My question today is, let me finish. That's exactly what my question is about. Interrupting himself. When people are interrupting you. Gizephrenic. And you just keep losing your thoughts and what you're saying

because they keep interrupting you and you just don't want to be rude about it and say, hey, shut the fuck up. I was just talking. It's the worst. But you want to be able to say what you want to say and these people are always interrupting you. My question is, how do you deal with these difficult people dude appreciate it you know how i do you

need to get an oops button at chrislea.com you go there and you just hit it oops because they interrupted you you say look listen man we made a mistake here this is not how the conversation is supposed to go and i'm willing to accept my part in it but like you interrupted me maybe i gave you some maybe i gave you like a hint that i needed some help with this conversation but i don't dude what the fuck you're interrupting me there's different kinds of people that do this though and it there's like tears okay of terribleness right okay the tears of terribleness so chicks is one who's the the tears the tears of terribleness you ready yeah tears of terrible that's the very top of the wrestling squad in the highest tier of terribleness is hulk hogan with a

black mustache person that interrupts you because they think they know what you're going to say. And they start saying it with you or for you or telling you that I get it and I'm going to finish it for you. That's the worst. I do that and I have to stop doing that. So you're the worst. But I'm thinking about it. And then at the bottom is just people who interject with questions that don't realize their questions will be answered by the time I'm done talking. So now I think that's the worst.

That's the most innocent. No, that's fine. Okay, it's innocent. You're right. That's the most innocent. That's the most fine. It's annoying, but it's the least terrible. So I'm going to get to that.

I go like that. If you just keep listening, you'll see that you don't need to ask that question. Yeah, you can do that. Then I get in trouble. You can do whatever you want, though. The truth is you don't have to be nice to those people because those people aren't being nice to you they're interrupting you for whatever reason that's rude yeah so you can say anything from like wait did you want did you want me to tell the story or did you did you just

want to talk that the most fucking back like so angry doing that. I do that. Yeah, that's the one I do. That's good. Did you want- Just so much darkness in you when that happened. Did you want me to tell the story or did you want to just talk? Yeah. Because if you just want to talk, go ahead, I'll stop.

Dude, go ahead. You know what? I could leave. You record this, send it to me. Exactly, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Okay, cool. But there's a number of things you can do.

You could do the oops button. Yep. You can, you can like wait till you're all done and then come, come correct with the person and be like, look,

I don't know if you're doing that on purpose but you kept interrupting me and that's like, it was driving me crazy. That's hilarious. You know? To be like talking and talking and they keep interrupting you

and finishing and you're talking and by the time you're done and they go like this, come here, sit down with me. So in that conversation, I was trying to get some points across. You asked some questions that I was already going to answer. You also interrupted with stuff that you thought I was going to say. It turns out I wasn't going to say that stuff.

Some of the stuff you got right, but it just made the general conversation take just way longer. You do that. I don't know if you do that. And I'm just letting you know. So I'll catch you later. But there's a middle tier as well. What?

There's the innocent tier. Then there's the really, truly terrible tier. You said there's the three tiers, right? Yeah, but then there's the second tier. Oh. The lowest, most innocent tier is tier one. And that's just like asking questions before the gig is up. Yes.

The jig is up. Okay. The worst, most terrible is- Have you said this yet? What? Have you said this? No. Okay. worst most terrible is have you said this yet what you have you said no okay so you so i'm so i'm having trouble understanding what the two that you've said are so far okay the first one that i

said yes was the worst one that's the third one okay okay so that should be the top one it's it it's hard to it's hard to the worst one should be number one no no because it's tier one tier two tier three okay i understand okay tears are going out okay all right so so tier one is the least bad and it's the interrupt and it's the innocent one asking questions yeah yeah tier tier three is the worst tier three is the worst and tier three is the one where you start okay the person who interrupts you starts saying what they think you're saying but they're wrong wrong right like i just like you just did yeah but so and then what's two two what's the middle tier is just like uh is just it's it's like it's half innocent because they they are into it uh-huh but they like they keep trying to say things that that

it reminds them of about themselves oh that's horrible yeah it's terrible yeah but it's not as bad as the the top yeah three okay but that's tier two those are the tears of terror have you on fire i'm stepping on hot coals so did you um so did you think of this before you just thought of this now that you had the three tears thing yeah that's amazing good job way to think on the fly thank you all right cool well there you go then and uh i say just get yourself an oops button at chrislee.com talking your own shit so hard anthony put a thing of an image of it right here that's the oops button you get at chrislee.com okay he gets it okay cool um hey matt hey chris can't get rid of this guy behind me podcasting we listen every week we have just a quick advice question for you. I love them. Yeah.

So we have two very close friends that went to Thailand two years ago. Never came back. And after they came back, they told us, you guys should come next time.

They're like our best friends. And recently, we found out that they have already booked their flights to Thailand, including some of our friends in our close circle have already booked their flights. And we have not heard nothing about it. We have talked to them, and they have not mentioned it. They seem totally fine.

They're not mad at us or anything. We're exchanging gifts with our kids. Whoa. Yeah. So we have no clue what's going on. it's it's in three months we want to go to thailand but we don't feel like we're truly invited and haven't heard anything for two years so we haven't really been saving up so uh what do we do it's been two years any advice i don't know what was the two years thing chris that they two years ago they went and they said you should come next time oh right i think just plain and simple be like wait you're going to thailand and they're going to like wait

yeah we're all gonna go yeah and that you don't have to ask like an asshole though just be like wait i actually thought we're all gonna go we were excited about that yeah that's not like a way you don't you don't make people feel bad doing that if you do that's a byproduct of just actually wondering this is a horror movie what is this is gonna be a horror movie you know oh when they go to time yeah it's gonna be called like the uninvited guests or something and like you get there and they're gonna and you're gonna murder you you know what i mean uh i think i mean this sounds like a horror movie it's like well we didn't go and then we you know and it would be by a danish guy you know what i mean and it would be half in english half in whatever they fucking speak over there um wow you know what do they speak danish hi no danish i'm saying the

oh yeah danish yeah okay um no but i you you go like this you say hey um just want to know all good i'm a big because you know me and i've said this. I'm a big proponent, because you know me and I've said this before. I'm a big proponent, and you say this, of not everybody needs to always be hanging out with all the friends all the time. I get it. But I just don't want you to think we don't want to go to Thailand. And I don't know if it's on us to say, hey, we want to come. But you did mention it a while ago and if it's a thing that you're gonna do with those people all good but just let us know because we're down i think that's what you that's what i would do

and then if they're like oh they'll probably be like oh come yeah i can't imagine well it definitely will but here's the other thing you don't want them to do like oh shit all right yeah come exactly they don't want you to exactly so that's that's why you don't do it in as many words as you just said. Ah, I'm the king of words. All you do is say, in fact, what I said is the best thing. Okay, we'll say it again. So you're just like. Trump.

Hey. Something like, oh, you're going to Thailand. Wait, you're're going to Thailand and wait, you're all going to Thailand. I, I thought we were all including us. Wow. Sorry.

Wow. Yours requires the Thailand being coming up somehow. Yours. Yeah. Yeah. You bring it up. No, you bring it up.

You go like this. Oh man. It's crazy all over the world, man. You guys ever think of Thailand? By the way, I heard you going um that's fine did you want us to come maybe that whole comment i'm not saying all that just bring it up out of the blue if you do it like that holy fuck you're invited to everywhere i go by the way who cares just bring it up out of the blue it's on your mind you know

yeah thailand oh wait i heard you guys are all going to thailand like we want to go too oh dude that's the way to say you know what you do you get taboo and you pick the card where you can say everything but thailand how do you rig it well you just what oh um okay so uh all our friends are going and we're not invited right right yeah but how do you rig it is the logistics of that you you fucking put up the card you set the cards up you know what i mean all our friends no no no and all the friends are there and they're like uh and they go oh you didn't get it it's thailand so so now that we're talking about it what's up with that so we were supposed to go so i just don't know if you guys all know but we were invited first

okay because two years ago they said you should go next time and what the fuck now everybody's all what is this all about dude everybody's going and we're not i come up with great ways dude that's so roundabout it requires you have to buy the game taboo first of all everyone has taboo second of all the card thailand might not even exist you have to make your own card you make your own cards you'd be like you know what dude hey guys so i will play taboo i'm getting rid of these cards i made my own cards and just have like five of them and be thailand be one of them two of them two of them and then they do it again and they say is thailand again they say yeah and actually there might be there's more i want to talk about

that yeah taboo is fun dude yeah taboo is the game we were playing when dad said look at this And then they say, is Thailand again? They say, yeah. And actually, that reminds me. There's more I want to talk about that. Yeah. Taboo's fun, dude. Yeah. Taboo's the game we were playing when Dad said, look at this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Those are the days, huh?

Yeah. Those were. That was the day. Same guy. What's up, Chris and Matt? Loving the podcast. Take support. Pause it.

I saw you in Boston. Takes apart calculators and and like mixes them all up and then figures out how to put them back together and they work even better than they did dude look at him like what in your childhood makes you think that that's that guy you know what i mean i don't know you must have seen somebody like that therapist a therapist you know and i think that there's some trauma there so go go to so steve albert started over yeah also loves his mom and so nice to her uh chris i saw you in boston the late show so good the first one was better thank you with my girlfriend this is kind of what my question involves so i've been dating this girl for

about six seven months right and i'm in school and she's got a calculator we're both going to study abroad next semester what broader you study a month and she's going to be in europe and i'm going to be in new zealand now we both want to make this relationship work so how do you guys recommend i go about this like considering time zones um considering how far we're going to be we're probably not going to see each other for like six months um but we really want to make it work and i really like this girl but so how do you guys recommend i go about this thanks dude let me just let me just tell you something here this is so fucked and i will tell you you think six months is doable no it let me just tell you this dude okay okay i'll shut up i'll stop interrupt i'll stop being in tier two okay so women change their it doesn't

take six months for them to um you know and maybe and these six months i've it's one day bro what are you saying they go like this they're it's three months in they're really missing the shit out of the guy yeah they're missing the shit out of him his girlfriend okay oh man i miss him thinking about him every day one day yeah one of the days yeah like a dog runs by yeah and goes to the a dude that owns the dog and he's like oh hey what's up yeah and she's like oh that's a cool dog he's like oh that's hilarious um anyway uh cool not hilarious but okay yeah and then that chick is out, dude. Okay, first of all. It takes one day.

Dude, this is when you're on. You're being the most Sadiq-er right now in the history of the world. Because one time I had a girlfriend. Okay, yeah. And things were going great. Oh, wow, okay. Things were going great. You're being serious right now.

Yeah. Oh, wow, Sadiq-er. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we all learn from our experiences. Okay, yeah. So, by the way, this has happened to me multiple times. So, we were having, it was great. goes like this hey going to paris and i say huh she says yeah going to paris i was like we're talking about we've been together for two

years she's like i'm just gonna take a trip and i go i say all right well will you when she's like i'm gonna go in like three weeks i said well why didn't you tell what's you she's already bought the ticket i said well what the fuck and she's like i knew if i if i didn't do it right then i wouldn't do it and i say oh okay uh well that's so weird though yeah it is weird goes to paris doesn't meet someone uh-huh comes back from paris says it's over. Dude, she was there for a week. She didn't even meet someone. Okay. She came back, started dating someone in LA.

It takes one day. All I got to do is see something like a dog run by. Okay, but no. Okay. More to- Six weeks, two days. It's the same, bro. So you're saying you're putting in this guy's head that one day in those six months, she's going to leave him?

It's going to be like a fucking tennis racket to your face. That's not at all my experience at all. And frankly, I don't even hear that happening ever. Happened to me twice. I don't even know if it happened to you once with El Capitan, remember? Yeah. And then another, that was the one one that i even mentioned okay well anyway i i have a completely different uh opinion on the matter it's el capitan it's equally bleak but it's not okay similar to yours at all six months

when you're really in love with somebody when you're thinking about the prospect of spending six months apart sounds so doable and so straightforward and so manageable okay it isn't it's not it's so fucking hard and it feels like six years it's the hardest thing in the world so i think instead of i mean you're he seems so young they're in school did he say how old he is the younger the worse i know that's why i'm 50 you might're going to die in 20 years anyway. They might be better off keeping it loose and saying we want to be together after these six months than like really putting it on themselves, pressuring themselves to make sure it works out throughout the six months. I'm not saying like go with God for six months. I'll see you on the other side. I'm saying love each other we want to make it work but more than anything we want to make sure that in six months we're back where we want to be with each other

let me just tell you something dude okay i understand what you're saying also what about the guy it's also no i know but listen, they're going to, they should, by the way, reverse the places they're going to. She's going to fucking Britain where the chicks are ugly, but the dudes are like, how are you? Yes. It's nice to meet you. Women are beautiful in England.

Where? In England. In London. Where are they, dude? In London. They're not. Okay. Anyway, keep going.

And then the dude, but the dude, okay, fine. There are some hot women in in in in britain but bro the dudes though they all got fucked up teeth they're ugly but the dudes that's part of it they're ugly but the women it's like yeah i got fucked up teeth but with the dudes it's like uh but you know it's paul my fucking thing on it right yeah so and then and so you're gonna be letting her go there for six months she's gonna meet some dude named hugh or nigel right and then he's going to new zealand where the chicks are just all tatted up and just ready wait do we know yeah that's all you did you don't

matter he just said europe right he didn't say where she's going specifically honestly any place but britain is even worse any place but france spain worse in what way like she's gonna cheat on him yeah dude the dudes are fucking going to go to spain they should both concede the fact that cheating is probably going to happen for both of them they're young and like just just look here's what you should do go into it saying we love each other we want to make sure it works on the other side we don't want to make fuck it up while we're apart so like let's keep each other in one another's hearts but know that whatever one of us does here or there or wherever the fuck it's it's we're gonna have to be okay with it when we come back here because the last thing you want to do is really put pressure on yourselves and then one

of you is faithful and then the other one isn't and then by the time the six months are up and everybody's back the truth comes out everything's fucked up get a wig be her go to britain she cut her hair you know the worst movie on the shit the worst movie premise ever for no reason like there's no not even a reason to do it go to new zealand because the dudes in new zealand are not good looking and the and the chicks in fucking britain i mean the dude's got a leg up on them do you know what i'm saying otherwise you're gonna go to britain dude i swear to god eight days she's gonna be what's up what's up what's up matt are you saying what's that song again uh i don't know am i saying what are you saying don't ask don't tell no i'm not i'm not i'm just saying be loose with each other because if you're too tight it's

easier to break like let yourselves remain in love give yourselves a chance but let each other breathe because the more suffocating one one is or the other is you're just going to end up pushing the person away or when one person does make a mistake or slip up or whatever, the pressure is going to be that much more like impossible to overcome. Apple Music, play the song that goes What's up? I don't like any of this. It got it wrong.

No shit. That's so many songs at once? I got it wrong. That's M.O.P. Okay. I don't know. I forget what it is. And you know it.

We played it in this podcast before. Yeah, I know. Okay. Then you should know. So he knows is what he's saying. He says he doesn't know. You're the one who played it. I know because I asked Mako the first time what it was.

And he told me. And now he's saying he doesn't know, You're the one who played it. I know because I asked Marco the first time what it was and he told me and now he's saying he doesn't know which is bullshit. There we go, dude. Trillville. Why were you holding out on me, dude? He didn't know. Anthony knew. I know.

Why was he holding out on me? He looked it up. What did you Google? Some cut, dude. Dude, it's called some cut. I'll take it. Eight days in britain dude hello how are you that's nice to meet you oh wow look at that wow nice outfit there

wow you got an hourglass on you don't you uh-oh i mean oh that's really nice isn't it that's happening for sweet entirely too at the beginning of the song. Let me see the backside there. Oh, wow. Isn't that nice? I can put my drink down on it, huh? Hey, come here. Put a Guinness on on here.

Wow. Okay. Stop. Anyway, good luck to you, but that shit's so hard. Long distance, especially when you're young, is so fucking hard, dude. I done it, did it, failed dude i've done it did it failed

at it done it again after that failed at it never succeeded at it bing bong bing booyah booyah and booyah the year of the bing bong i mean it's hard yeah it is but here's the thing it's there being an end already it being six months makes it at least possible so there is hope i guess you could say but that shit's hard yeah all right cool all right next one hey doormat and christopher a few weeks back you guys were arguing amongst yourselves which name was the best. Dormat. And then you said the worst name for a guy is Bruce. Yeah, that's you? No. So I was named after my grandpa, Bruce.

I like Bruce. Who died from leukemia. And so thanks for crapping on both of our names. No problem, dude. Matt did. But that's not why I'm sending this in. No problem. I would like some advice on the most creative or memorable way to quit.

Not in a mean way, but I just want it to be creative. And I've been at the same job for about 11 years. Wow. Or same company doing my trade for 11 years. And I really like my boss, but I think it's just time to move on. And side note, he watches this show religiously.

Sometimes we watch it together at work. So I'm not sure how this is going to go. That's hilarious. I don't know. What do you think is the most creative way or memorable way to quit your job? This is. Hey boss, Bruce is thinking about quitting. So why don't you have the conversation?

Bruce is out. No, he's not thinking about it. He's done. He's out. Hey, boss, you're done. Okay? Well, yeah. Boss, Bruce is done.

Bruce doesn't want to work for you anymore. We're sorry. But it's okay because you don't want a guy that doesn't really want to be there. And he needs to do bigger and better things, right? And he has no hard feelings. He's not mad. He's not mad. He doesn't want a guy that doesn't really want to be there and he needs to do bigger and better things right and he has no hard feelings he's not mad he's not mad he doesn't want to make a scene doesn't want to make you feel bad he wears gel on his hair it's time to move on his name is bruce uh this is the way well bruce will let you know that this is happening our producers will let you know follow up with you so you can watch this episode with your boss.

Right. And he will learn this way. Yeah. Hey, Bruce is boss. Dude. No, no, no. He doesn't want to do it in a mean way. He said not in a mean way.

That's for me. I know, but still it's like let's be on everybody's side. Okay. Because this is Bruce's face right now. No, he knows. He knows it's coming. No, but he saw the

he's watching Lifeline. He's going like this. Why is he doing that? Because he's watching it with the guy. But he knows he knows it's coming no but he he saw the the he's watching lifeline he's going like why is he doing that because because he's watching it with the guy but he knows why you're acting confused why did you he's thinking why are you the boss yeah why didn't you just oh the boss is doing yeah dude you didn't say that he said bruce was doing that the boss was doing that i said you said bruce okay well i met boss fuck okay um so yeah yeah that should go over really well well i mean look dude there's no easy way really to quit you want to quit you want to quit 11 years of this shit you know obviously you've been thinking about it so it's all good man and you know you could still remain friends

you can still watch the show why don't you do dude val watch the next episode together at least year full of episodes right right right there you go you know so yeah dude we're with you buddy and we're sorry and bruce i I don't think is the worst name. You know what? And I'm not just saying this because I got called out on it. I agree that Bruce is not the worst name. Bruce is a cool name. Bruce Willis kind of made it popular.

Okay. Bruce is not that bad. It's true. I don't know why I even said that. We were just making jokes. We have fun. I think Wanker is the worst name. What's up, Chris and Matt?

Huge fan of the podcast. How's he not British? Repping that spin move mentality hoodie. I just wanted to ask you all for a little bit of advice. I work for a retail job right now, and I work with a lot of really cool people. We're all in a group chat. We all try to get together on our off days. That's awesome.

And play softball and basketball and stuff like that. But whenever I hang out with them, I always find myself being really awkward and being really to myself and saying things that I think back later and I'm like, oh, why did I say that and stuff like that. And it makes, you know, I find myself awkward to a point where I kind of don't want to hang out with them.

Even though I enjoy them all. They're all really cool people, and I enjoy getting out there playing softball or whatever we're doing. But I find myself being so awkward, I don't want to go out there and hang out with them because I don't want them not to like me. You know what I'm saying? So I just wanted to know if y'all have any advice on that. I'd really appreciate it. I'm normally a really funny and outlandish, pretty loud dude. I just find myself with them being real, real awkward and contempt.

I'm not really sure why. Any advice, man? I'd appreciate it. Self-fulfilling prophecy, man. That's what happens. You got your own hole. You dug yourself in it, and now you can't get out. The truth is each time for two things each time you hang out with them is its own time once it's done flush it down the toilet it's over nobody else is still thinking

about the weird thing you did yeah nobody else is thinking about you in a good way i mean as much as you think like i wish i could fuck all your wives anyway as much as you think. I wish I could fuck all your wives. Anyway. As much as you think it was dumb of you to say a thing and how it was like it's festering for you, that's not what's happening with them, first of all. Second of all, don't let it accumulate. Otherwise, like Chris said, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more you think, ah, shit, I shouldn't have said that, the more likely you are to have it happen again, where you say, oh shit, that was a dumb thing to say, or whatever. Just like, let it all go. What's done is done.

Next time you hang out with them, this is the new you. And guess what? If you do something that's awkward, who the fuck cares? Do it again. Because it's not going to happen. The more, the less pressure you put on yourself to not be awkward, the less awkward you will be.

Also, it's that shame that's speaking to you dude it's yours oh shit i wasn't good enough i wasn't that dude i have the tapes that play in my head too ever since childhood you are good enough and you're fucking it's like that what's that i'm good enough i'm smart enough and doggone people like me you know what for real and i have trouble with this but affirmations man you look in the mirror you look in your eyes and you say i'm worthy of friendship try to do that watch how fucking hard it is inside you watch your heart do a twist and turn it's fucking hard do that until it doesn't feel weird anymore and that will help for real and i'm not a big affirmations guy i do say affirmations you know i was getting a massage the other day i was

so uncomfortable i couldn't fucking enjoy it and face down i just started saying i'm worthy of i'm i'm worthy of love people like me i'm good and dude i got out of that shit man and your masseuse was like i mouthed it well i mouthed it oh i did it just like i was face down in the hole that would have been so weird for a masseuse okay i am okay like that kind of shit yeah that's very strange but it helps though they say it helps it's like fake smiling then turns into a real smile they do say that helps yeah so i try to do that and so do that or look in your own eyes and say, I'm a good friend. That's not the issue at hand, though.

No, but you don't want to fix the symptom. You want to hit the root of the problem. Just be like, I'm not awkward if you need me to do that. No one's paying as much attention to me as I am. It's deeper than that. The awkwardness is the symptom. You want to get the root problem. You want to go, I am okay. Look in your your eyes i am a good friend i deserve friendship look in your

own eyes and do that shit watch your heart do somersaults until it doesn't and then you get into this attitude where you're like you know what fuck it fuck it man i'm me and i have trouble with it myself i really do i have trouble with it myself i have a deep need of acceptance but you know sometimes with different groups of friends it's different and with this group of friends i said this is your fucking cross to bear but you got this bro we can tell you're a good guy and by the way they don't like you for the reasons why you think they like you they like you because you're you and we can tell i bet they don't even think you're awkward they probably don't or they do in a fun way or they like it you know what i mean like own it all this is you this is

okay you are okay and do those fucking affirmations in the mirror man and watch your heart do a somersault stop saying that okay but specific thing yeah so that's good whoa next one there we go dude a couple years ago wow how's it going boys big fan of boys? Big fan of the podcast. Thank you. Big fan of the both of you. Me and my girlfriend watch Lifeline every week. I've been watching Congratulations for years. My favorite episodes are when you'd have your brother or your dad on. Oh, nice. They're always the best. Cool.

So I love Lifeline. Thank you. Thank you guys for entertaining us. Thank you. Cute. So I've got a question. It's a question you guys have received. Kind of similar.

My co-worker stinks really bad. Like cat piss most of the time. Cat piss? Sometimes just like pure stench. I've not even had to describe it. It's so gross. What if he was Batman and he snorted about Catwoman? Should I just say, you smell like shit?

I don't know. Should I go to my manager? It's pretty unbearable to be around. That means bad, man. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. So I actually have experienced someone smelling like cat piss in my life, and it's fucking a tragedy.

Now, in my experience, the person was smelling like cat piss because of their diet. They changed their diet and whatever they were doing was the reason was responsible for their cat what what were they eating the cat piss and onions no they became vegan and that was what made them smell like cat piss whoa and then they started eating meat no i i stopped being around that person because they smelled like cat piss but you said they changed oh they changed their diet to that oh wow dude yeah yeah whoa yeah it was terrible um for that person i'm not saying veganism were you dating or was it a friend dating or a friend or what yeah i was dating okay so um that's a little different than workplace shit you gotta be careful

well yeah you can't also you can't even know if it's a diet thing. No, no, no. But what I'm saying is you got to be careful about telling them they smell like shit because you can get, if you're their fucking boss

or something, they could get sued. So like, write a note on a paper airplane. Make sure the paper airplane curves the right way. So like,

say your co-worker's here. Go to the person you want it to go to. You throw it over there and it goes that way. So it looks like it came from over there. Yeah.

But you're over here. What, me? She's like, these are the kinds that curve. No, it bent. When it landed, it bent. Okay. Yeah, that's a rough fucking thing, man.

People scent that you can't escape from is a real problem. It's a real difficult. It's a co-worker thing, huh? Because here's the other thing, too. I don't know what percentage, but I bet it's high. They can't fix right maybe you know like i said maybe it's a diet thing i haven't really been around people that smell bad all that much to be honest oh i have

dude i mean at meet and greets when i do my meet and greets sometimes there are people that come up and i'm like oh wow interesting oh you just uh you just smell horrible yeah you know okay you haven't been around a lot of people that smell bad no i mean i have geez really i really haven't you're lucky huh yeah and i always smell pretty damn good and so do you yeah well i think it's also and i firmly believe this there are probably many people in that person's life who he says smells like cat piss that don't smell the cat piss thing people respond to different people so vastly different and they say that if you find somebody that you love their smell that you will you will have good babies with them i made that

up but i feel like i feel like um that works good baby like like like uh healthy oh like um like chemically that you're supposed to be with that person that's what i think i think that because you ever been around what you said is fucking stupid okay well does that make sense but you don't have any science that backs up what you're saying and i'm not saying anything i'm just commenting on what you said you just made up a thing i completely made it up oh but don't you think that sounds good and you said the result is good babies don't you think that sounds good? And you said the result is good babies. Don't you think that sounds good? Don't you think it sounds probably right? Chemically, you're supposed to be with the person you want to be with.

So you're supposed to be the person to push the human race as far as you can. You want to mate with people who smell good with each other, right? So that's probably it. What I believe, and this is backed up by science, the people we are attracted to, whether we realize it or not, backed up by science the people we are attracted to whether we realize it or not what one of the things we're primarily attracted by is scent even if we're not recognizing scent yeah for sure definitely oh definitely so they trick you with shampoos though you know you got to get beyond the no but we know what's what do we yeah because sometimes you just smell herbal essence and you're like i'm in love yeah but Yeah, but you get underneath it.

You do? Yeah. You're saying pheromones? Yeah, I think we are way better at that than we think we realize. You ever been with somebody that their breath is just intoxicating? No, but I've been with someone whose breath smells like rat poison. Okay, well. And tastes like rat poison when you kiss them.

Oh, God damn motherfucker. Me too. No. I have. You have? Yeah, but I've also been with people whose breath are intoxicating. Breath is intoxicating. Yeah, I'm just like, I can't get enough of it. Kristen is that way.

She always has good- Yeah, Kristen is that way. Good breath. No. So dumb. Yeah. No, I guess not. But maybe that's just for me.

I don't know. That's what I feel like maybe someone else. Because sometimes you've been with people who who have bad breath and then they start dating people and you're like yeah exactly exactly you know that's what i'm talking about the first point i was making right right what's terrible yeah what smells like cat piss to one person might smell like fucking roses to another on your tombstone have you ever uh dated someone that you actually love their smell uh-huh for however long in general, and then something happens where you suddenly detest their scent?

Like a brain injury? No. Like they become vegan. Oh, no. Okay. Well, that happened to me. Wow, that's crazy. And it was a devastation.

Yeah, that sucks. Like none other. Yeah. Oh, wow. Okay. Well, I hope it was worth it that they weren't eating meat. Go ahead. Next one.

Doubt it. Shaggy. A guy from Scooby-Doo that they weren't eating meat. Go ahead. Next one. Doubt it. Shaggy, a guy from Scooby-Doo. I'm geisha geisha. Canadian. Hey, man, Chris. What's going on? I'm pretty excited to talk to you guys. Huge fan of you, Chris.

I have a dilemma. Okay. I've got some friends who I love, but lately it's been really hard to hang out with them because they always have to be the wokest person in the room. I like to, you know, mess around and hang out and have fun. And we all know what our opinions are on certain subjects, but for some reason they always feel like they have to do a little comment and be like, look how woke I am. Look how much better I am than you. And it really makes my stomach hurt. And I don't like being around people who try to act like they're better than other people.

And I just want to hang out and it's really driving me crazy. And we kind of don't like this certain friend group anymore because it just feels like everyone's afraid to talk to each other and they don't feel like real friends. They feel like people were trying to impress. So I don't know if you guys have that, if you have a group that you tried forcing yourselves to hang out with at any points.

And cause I have a hard time not being friends with people anymore. So just let me know. Cutting them out. Yeah. That's what he means. I just, it's just, you need new friends.

That's awful. That is so awful. If they just always, sorry, I was saving humanity. All right. Thank you. We did the thing. I thought, I thought Marco paused it. just, you need new friends. That's awful. That is so awful. Sorry, I was saving humanity. All right, thank you. Oh, wow, he did the thing. I thought Marco paused it.

Yeah, no, he didn't. Yeah, dude, that's awful, man. I just, you need new friends. They're not going, because you can't be woke enough, so they're all going to start fucking sword fighting eventually. He said that it's just one group of them. Yeah. It's not all of his friends.

Right. Yeah, but you need new friends. Well, maybe he doesn't need new friends. Okay, well, then you need to cut them out. Yeah, right, yeah. I just, yeah. And he said we. He probably means him and his girlfriend.

I really, yeah. I really, or he's got multiple personalities. Yeah, true. Or he's gay and it's his partner. But either way, you got somebody that backs you up, cut him out. Or he's trans and goes by them and he's referring to himself as we. Yeah, I don't know. You know, it could be any, right?

It could be him and the rest of the cast of scooby-doo i really want to know what he means woke in what context like does it matter it could it can yeah sure uh i i wonder how much i've never had friends that are as he's saying so woke it like distracts from the hang yeah that sounds like you're hanging out with some like fucking tyrants or something well that's yeah i mean a lot of woke people are like that yeah no i know but if it's getting to a point where it's that bad i can't even that's why i wanted context i wish i knew what i wonder what he maybe on the next live episode we do he could call in because like i wonder really what the fuck he's talking about with uh like if they're like oh i mean look if he's walking around saying fucking saying racial slurs that's what i'm saying yeah it's like you

know bro you gotta fucking chill exactly right but if he's like yeah so you know it's funny i or if he's just like i like the show whatever the fuck and they're like well that show actually is problematic because of whatever right then you're like all right you know yeah yeah you know i'm just trying to chill you guys gonna judge me when you got your own skeletons in your closet probably well but i mean they you know everyone has shit so it's like um yeah i don't know what to do so small how he wrote it you don't know what to do is that what you're saying yeah i'm saying i don't know what to do for him okay well that's a weird way to say that what did i say you said i don't know what to do yeah i don't know what to do for you oh just fucking don't hang out with those people

i guess so i mean is it cut and dry so but then he's like is a problem ending get better at that oh i mean really hardcore man i mean like get better at that because that's a skill we all need. You can't. What if you had a group of friends that was fucking just all the time you loved them and then but suddenly all of a sudden all of them started shooting heroin into their arm? Would you have a hard time? Well, they would probably not even realize I was gone because they'd be so doped up. Would you have a hard time nixing them?

No, but I would just. How bad is this? I would be like, guys, you do too much heroin. I got to go. And they would be like this. No, you would i'm saying as a hypothetical to the guy who's here to answer the question yeah he would be able to be like oh what the fuck and get out of there that's a way more extreme example and a way more harmful example but like maybe just realize what you've said which is that you fucking don't like these people anymore. Yeah.

And they're not, they don't make you feel good or whatever. They make you feel tense, I think is what he was getting at. Yeah. Then don't hang out with them, dude. Yeah. And if it's hard to nix people out of your life, like it's hard for everybody to do that,

but that's a skill you need. True. So just get to practicing on these fuckers. Yeah. So basically just don't hang out with those people anymore. And then also has it happened to you? Has what happened? Have you fuckers yeah so basically just don't hang out with those people anymore and then also has it happened to you has what have you had to been like i can't hang out with these people anymore oh yeah yeah for a number of reasons not for that reason right right right yeah yeah definitely yeah i have to smell like cat piss have you ever had to do it

with a whole group of people he's talking about a group of people yeah he is um because i've cut people out of my life kinda it's usually like the entry point is one really good friend and then the group is like yeah people i know through that right right right friend yeah yeah so yeah kinda yeah all right well look you know i'll power more power to you we hope you get through it uh seattle i'll see you tonight chrislea.com, get tickets. Jacksonville, Lakeland, and Daytona, I'll be there next weekend. Sugarland, Texas, and San Antonio, I'll be there the next weekend. And then later on in February, I'll be in New York City, Rhode Island, Providence, Rhode Island, and Chicago. Thank you very much. If you want, go to ChrisLea.com for tickets. You want one-on-one advice sessions with my brother,

Mr. Dig you out of a hole, mattdalia.com. If you have a question, click the link in the description below or go to watchlifeline.com and you can get the merch, like the guy was wearing the Spin Move Mentality sweater or hoodie, at lifelinemerch.com. I really like that hoodie. Yeah, it's a good hoodie. I didn't love it at first, but I really fucking like it. It grows on you, and that's what good merch does.

It grows on you, just like this podcast. does it grows on you just like this podcast and it's comfortable as shit yep okay so guys leave a comment bump up the algorithm make sure you're subscribed and if you're not subscribe to super good