Lifeline - 44. Yokey Doodle Dandy

Episode Date: February 12, 2023

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Hello. Hello. Hello. all right it looks like i have an unrolled c-o-n-d-o-m condominium on your head um condominium on your head so guys hey what's up welcome to lifeline we're absolutely ripping it um i will be in let's see new york at the beacon theater coming up and uh and that's very soon providence rhode island come on let's keep it moving dude keep it moving kansas city missouri springfield tulsa Midland, Texas Austin, Texas Minneapolis go to chrisalia.com

and get your tickets Cincinnati Salt Lake why do you say Springfield and not say the state because there's Springfield in every fucking state Illinois

because I want more people to go to my website wow different place where I get will be not the actual reason yeah it's a place in the Simpsons too

right the Simpsons awful get your tickets for Chris D'Elia on tour chrisalia.com Yeah. It's a place in The Simpsons too, right? The Simpsons. Awful. Get your tickets for Chris D'Elia on tour at chrisdelia.com. You got a question for us? Click on the link in the description below or just go to watchlifeline.com. You want a one-on-one session with your fucking boy? Don't swear. Prince Daddy-O.

Your bleeping boy, Prince Daddy-O. Pimp, pimp, pimp, baby, baby. MattD'Elia.com. So bad. One-on-one session session we go back and forth I help people you help me help you

get your session now and then obviously there is of course all of the great Lifeline merch at lifelinemerch.com baby baby taking too long

taking your sweet time with it doing the baby baby thing you know what I realize I do and I don't know why I do it and baby thing. You know what I realized I do? And I don't know why I do it. And I've been trying to figure out why I do this. When I go to sleep, at some point while I'm asleep, I go like this.

I do this with my hands. And you don't know you're doing it. I have no idea that I'm doing it. And I wake up like this. Come on, no. Cousin it. It, totally, yeah. No, you don't.

What do you mean, no, I don't? I know for a fact you don't. I watch you sleep. You don't? You do that? Yes, I do yeah. No, you don't. What do you mean, no, I don't? I know for a fact you don't. I watch you sleep. You don't? You do that? Yes, I do that. Why would I make that? I'm not, I mean, this, you're just in disbelief.

It's like a cloak wheel thing. Yeah, but also you make up everything all the time. No, I don't. I can fly. Let me tell you something. Your hair looks really healthy. Did you wash it recently? I did. I hate washing my hair, dude.

But it looks better. It does. It looks healthier but i hate it why because i like it but it feels better when it's dirty and oily and shit disgusting disgusting okay it's not disgusting dude so everyone agrees with me i washed mine today everyone everyone agrees with me everyone knows it's good trump everyone that acts like it's better to have clean hair has been brainwashed by the shampoo companies that tell you you need shampoo.

Oh, you need to get rid of your dandruff. Oh, really? Dandruff is totally natural. I don't have it anyway, but even if I did, it would be natural. But the problem is you've been told dandruff is bad and unhealthy, and then you have to buy shampoo, and then you're a sucker. Okay. I only wash my hair every once in a while.

The worst infomercial. And it feels great. It feels terrific. What is he selling? Life is terrific. I'm selling, not buying. You hear that? Yeah, going to be in the black so hard with your company.

I'm selling, not buying. Okay. I don't understand really, but it's okay. But anyway, my point is your hair looks great. My hair, I washed it today. It looks great. Admit it. Your hair looks good. I think my hair looks great. No, but it's okay. But anyway, my point is your hair looks great. My hair, I washed it. Does it, dude? I washed it today. It looks great.

Admit it. Your hair looks good. I think my hair looks great. No, but I said great. No, and my shit looks really good. It's got body. You said a bad word. Why are you telling me not to say bad words?

For the first five minutes, we can't help bleep it out, and I did it, and it was my mistake, and I own my mistakes, and you didn't. You said no. I said shiz. Okay. Instead of, you know, shiz. So what I'm saying is it's better for YouTube if we don't swear the first five minutes. So they say, because they're obviously shadow banning us, but I'll tell you what, dude,

super good. We're on the super good channel and like, and subscribe. They unsubscribe people from our channel. That's a, yeah, it's a, it's so crazy. People say it's a conspiracy until you actually realize it happens. So, um, I'm basically A-L-E-X-J-O-N-E-S. And I can't say it because they'll shout out Vanoss I don't even know what you said sitting up

I don't want to because I don't want to risk it Well then I can't respond So listen What's up man? How you doing? How's your week been? It's been alright So boring Dog drinks too much water

Boring! I mean how could you be so boring starting out this podcast? It's a sign of ill health, and I'm worried about it. Is it? Dude, yeah. I'm worried about Charlie. Drinking too much water is healthy. If you love me, send me money to take care of Charlie.

But you don't even know what's wrong with him yet. I don't. It's a her. It's a her. How do you not know that? I do know that, but Charlie's a boy name, so I say him. It's also a girl name. So Charlie Baltimore was a rapper. Also, remember that perfume? Stop. Remember that, but Charlie's a boy name, so I say him. It's also a girl name. So, Charlie Baltimore was a rapper.

Also, remember that perfume? Remember that perfume, Charlie? Yeah. Yeah? Was it a guy? Well, it's for women. Just with an I. C-H-A-R-L-I.

So listen, you're doing things, so many different things. Dude, you know what? Let me tell you something. Okay, but you're crinkling. You make me mad. That's fine, but you're crinkling. Okay. So the madness started with you. I stopped crinkling, and. You make me mad. That's fine, but you're crinkling. Okay. So the madness started with you.

I stopped crinkling, and you still make me mad. How about that? All right. We are very obviously brothers, in case you don't know that, because of the way we look. And even if we don't look, even if you don't see us, if you're blind or if you're just listening to it on wherever you listen to podcasts and you're not watching it, it's very obvious we're brothers because we sound alike. And even if it's not because we sound alike, if you couldn couldn't tell that you can tell that we are brothers because of the

way we argue right we're very familiar with it certainly took you figure out the look you want dude get off me get figure out the look you want dude you're remember so much primping do you remember pimping pimping that's right Do you remember When You Told me I could Punch you in the face For ten bucks And I didn't do it And then months later You got mad

I punched you We were fighting on the bed We were rolling around Fighting each other In my room And I punched you And I knocked you off the bed Because I'm strong

You didn't knock me off the bed Yes I did I punched you And I knocked you off the bed You fell off the bed This is why the story is good Then you popped your head up From

I was still on the bed You popped your head up Above the bed so i could see your face and i was so worried you were gonna okay kick my ass okay h-e-n ashen and i and i was scared and i froze and you poked your head up and you said 10 bucks yep and i gave it to you and i was very happy to not have my ashen kid i remember it dude what I remember is you were on top of me. I was on the bed. You were on top of me. We were doing the thing. You punched me in the jaw and I go, 10 bucks.

That's what I remember. No, I knocked you so far off of the bed with my thunderous jab. Okay, what's crazy is we remember it differently. And that is absolutely insane. Isn't that weird what the memory will do? It is, but in this instance, it's not weird because I'm i'm 100 okay then it's weird that my memory is doing that then it's it's interesting that you have a bad memory is what you're what you're saying i'm just saying dude you know there are things you don't remember correctly and i think that this might be one of them but if you're gonna go ahead and take that hard stance i don't even really give a because it doesn't matter you

said the f word okay now all right well we're seven minutes and it should be okay but anthony bleep that out okay listen jesus man it's like you are right it is interesting that people have different memories that's why you know it is the least bankable yes evidence in court i witnessed testimony right because i didn't actually want you to answer well you asked it in question but i wanted to say it okay but you asked me and then i answered so i didn't know it's gonna be rhetorical next time you're to give a rhetorical question, say rhetorical. Nope. Did you know?

It won't be bad. Okay. It won't be bad. It will be fine. What else you got? How was your week? It was good, you know. We were recording this two weeks ago.

So I got to say, well, no, a week and a half ago. So what I'm saying is I don't know how the week was, honestly. Okay. But I do know I was in

New Orleans and all that shit and it was probably great. It's going to be somebody's big day soon. Calvin. Yeah. Calvin's going to be, it's birthday in six days because this is the 12th of February.

And it's Calvin's birthday. He's going to be three years old. Wow. Dude. Yay, Calvin. He's going to be three. Happy birthday to you. Holding your tits.

Holding your tits up for Calvin. Holding your tits up for Calvin. Happy birthday to you. The longest tits birthday holding your tits holding your tits out for calvin holding your tits up for calvin birthday the longest tits the longest calvin hey so dumb um so it's gonna be it's gonna be his birthday and that's gonna be beautiful and we love that dude it's gonna be so cool guess what we're doing we're having a robot party for him he loves robots what's what is a robot party well kristin has gone to town making robot stuff with her she got it she bought a thing this thing this like i don't even know what it does you put special paper in it and it cuts out paper and it and it makes stuff for you like almost like a 3d printer like she's printing out like different like letters that look like computer letters and then robots

and eyeballs and shit the thing costs like 400 that's it it letters and then robots and eyeballs and shit. The thing costs like $400. That's it? It sounds like it should cost more than that. Well, I don't know. It costs $400. Oh, okay. It costs less than $400.

Between $300 and $400. Okay. You all right? Your tongue's like all messed up. Yeah. But so she does that and she's been just having, she loves to zone out

and just do that stuff. It's really beautiful. I like that. I wish I had something like that but i don't i mean when you say something like that what do you mean something that you can just zone i guess working out can be like that for me but like something where you could just zone out she could zone out for hours dude i'll be texting her i'm like is everything okay and then she'll be like oh i'm so sorry i'll get home and she'll be like oh i'm so sorry i made this and it's like a little like strawberry or something like with like like a cardboard strawberry and i'm like that's what took you a few hours she does a stop motion shit what do you mean oh actual stop motion animation yeah okay

you know that and so i didn't know she still did that well no but i'm just saying she has but that's her personality she likes to she likes to you know get involved with something like that yeah you know it's like oh is it okay I took my hat off? Yeah, but you're just doing a lot. It hasn't even been 10 minutes and you have nine different looks. You're like Robert De Niro over the course of his career. Long hair, short hair,

hat, mustache, buff, fat. It's too hot. Okay. The temp is too damn high. But then you put it all on and you got gussied up. It doesn't matter. I didn't want it on.

It's off now. It's better now. Even though I feel insecure about my clean hair. No, it's good's good dude your hair looks better this way i don't think so but my week was good it's not about how it looks it's about how it feels okay fine it may feel worse it looks better that's what i'm saying you're saying you don't think so i look is yeah maybe i don't know but you're getting you're letting your feelings yeah you know cloud up how it looks yeah maybe i guess a lot of people look better when they feel better, don't they? And you're saying you don't feel better.

Exactly. Because that's the thing. Because I was thinking about this. Do you think that women like men who are fit? Is that it? Yeah. What kind of fit? You mean not out of shape?

Muscles. Some women, I actually know just anecdotally women who do like that and women who actually are grossed out by muscles so uh so so do you think how what percent do you think it let's back up here what percent do you think it matters for a guy if he's going to date a woman a man's going to date a woman, a man's going to date a woman, what percent matters? Body. Generally. To the heterosexual woman talking about men. For the man.

No, for the man. For the man talking about the woman. Yeah. Generally? Like average guy? Mm-hmm. In terms of attraction or just like,

just attraction? I mean a lot. Almost 100%. If it's just purely attraction. Yeah. So what about for the female? Again, just purely attraction, probably a lot, but less than that. Less than it is for a man.

Because men are extremely visual and women are much more like feeling. I think it's 80 for man. Okay, fine. And 20 for women. 20? Yeah. I don't think it matters. I don't think it's 80 for man okay fine and 20 for women 20 yeah i don't think it matters i don't think it matters and that's coming from a guy who's but wait you're talking about just fitness yeah fit i'm talking about a guy who like take the same body on a woman translate that to a man use that but see that's where i think it doesn't even work so fit because to to to men it's tip there's more of a typical ideal woman.

We're talking about heterosexual people, obviously. To women, I don't think there is a more typical ideal man. Taste is so varied for women, I think. Yeah, when it comes to looks. In terms of attraction level physically, yeah. Yeah. But my point is fitness. On a fitness level, on a...

I think it matters very little for women and... Me too. And that's coming from a guy who's V'd out. I don't think you're that V'd out. You're not V'd out. What? Doesn't that mean you go like that? Yeah.

Yeah, no, you don't do that. What? When you have a normal body, you go like that. Or like that, you know? No. No, that's... You go like this. Like that.

That's crazy, dude. You're like the top of a y yeah v out but like a lazy y that looks more like a u so you're like a u that's horrible and that's nothing like a lot dude i'm v i look like a martini glass no no no oh my god that's crazy dude my shoulders go on for days my hips are fine but then you look then you look at my lats my lats really make the make the whole picture all right man i don't know all you're saying i'm not like this like a martini glass no you're not like that you're like this that's just two lines no no it's a little bit like further out at the top no that's stupid dude my lats are crazy nope all right so dude i'm saying it's coming from a guy who's physically fit, who looks great.

My shit's all lumpy in the right ways. And somebody, I'm saying it doesn't matter. Yeah, I kind of agree. Obviously, it matters to some women, though. To some women. A good amount of women care. Those women are women that use too much makeup. You know what I mean?

No, I think- They do contouring. They look like a kabuki theater person. So, you're saying kabuki theater makeup women like guys who are you know i mean i'm fit but guys who are do you know what i mean jack like yolky doodle dandied yeah but not like v'd out but like also v'd out but also yolky doodle dandied i don't really know what your point is it's so amorphous you're not making a specific point you're just like kind of all over the place. I'm saying that it doesn't matter if you're fit for a guy, but I am fit. It does matter, though, if you're unfit.

That's what I'm saying. It does matter if you're unfit, but that's what we're saying. What I'm saying is it doesn't matter if you're fit to attract women, but I'm also very fit. Oh, that's the only point. This is about you. Got it. No wonder I didn't understand. And for women and for men, if they think, oh, women, oh, I want a fit woman. That's the boom.

That's 90%. And for a man, it's 20. And for a woman, it's 20. You know why when I was little, I decided I didn't want to be like a person who was always at the gym? Why? Because you started to go to the gym all the time at the end of high school and you were constantly looking at yourself in the mirror and i decided wow i don't want to be the kind of person that's always looking at myself in the mirror like my brother does and so i decided i'm never going to be like that what's happening so deeper no way dude yes it was a good decision no so deeper you just didn't want to be like me when it's healthy to be like me remember when john charles saw how i saw buffy and he said you ever put water down your chest and go like this and just watch it dribble down yeah and i do you do that no i did after he said it i

did it i was like this is even a thing and i go and i go it was kind of tight all right so let's go into the fucking show we had a good time here so far rip rorn by the way it's the super bowl today oh nice okay this comes out so okay so the super bowl will happen but we don't know the score we'll have bad views but it's okay because you because we'll have good views on Monday, right? Yep. We don't know the score. We wonder what it's going to be. It's going to be maybe – who knows?

I don't even know what teams are in the Super Bowl. It's going to be the Chiefies versus the 90s. Okay. The 90s. No, the Eagles. The Eagles. Oh, the Eagies? Yeah, yeah.

It'll be the Eagies? Okay. Wow. All right, cool. All right, so let's go's go cheapies in the eagles hey matt hey chris so my younger brother is refusing to come rock climbing with me i'm a huge fan of rock climbing i've been doing it many years and i coached it for many years and i think my brother would enjoy rock climbing for very specific reasons that i've tried to explain to

him but when i invite him he just says i don't want to and if i ask him why he says i don't know i just don't want to now i understand pressuring him why he says, I don't know, I just don't want to. Now I understand pressuring him is not a good, healthy thing to do. And I know your stance on, um, being pressured into doing something you don't want to do by friends and family. But at the same time, I'm sure you guys have tried things out with friends and family before that you didn't think you'd enjoy. And then you found out you actually would enjoy it. And it seems to me that if you don't have a specific reason for not wanting to do something, it's healthy to go try that thing, see if you like it. And if you don't, you just don't. So if my brother tried this one time and he doesn't like it, I would just drop it forever. And I think it's fair to ask him to try it one

time just for his own sake, to see if he actually enjoys it. Because if he does, we could do it together and it would be an amazing thing to do together. But if he doesn't, he just doesn't. Am I being a dick here? Or is there something to be said for trying something out when you really have no specific reason for not wanting to? You just don't want to. So you're not being Dick. You're just being Ben Shapiro. You are Ben Shapiro.

But you're being selfish. You're talking about it would be good for him. It would be good for him. It would be good for you. No, no, no. If he went rock climbing, it would be good for you. If he went rock climbing once and then loved it, it would be good for you. No, it might be good for him to open up to certain activities.

I get that. But here's the deal. You're coming at it from a lie. You have to say, hey, do this for me. I want you to do this because I'm going to enjoy this. And I would appreciate, as your brother, this gift. If you didn't cut me off, you would have known that's what I was going to say, too. Because he's the one that wants it and it would be good for him. He should come at it from a, will you didn't cut me off, you would have known that's what I was going to say too. Because he's the one

that wants it and it would be good for him. Yeah. He should come at it from a, will you do this for me? Not, I know you'll love it.

I know you'll love it. I know you'll love it. That makes me want to say no. Me too. Yeah. If you were to say, did Anthony just die? I think Anthony just died.

If you were to say, hey, I really want you to come do this for me, I would do it. Yes, of course. If you were to say, you should do this because you're going to have a good time,

I would say no. It's like trying to tell someone you know them better than they know themselves that's not a good strategy also here's another thing too you actually don't have to try something to know if you like it or not definitely not i don't like this notion what people say hey how are you gonna know if you don't try? Gay sex. There you go. The buck stops there. But no one would say that about that. The reason you know you won't like... I know I don't want to get all... But the reason I know I wouldn't like, say, skydiving

is because that looks terrifying. And guess what? It is to people that don't find it appealing. Exhilarating. So no one can sit there and tell me, Oh, you'll love skydiving matt when i know i won't and guess what i'm not going to go with you no matter how many times you ask so skydiving and gay sex no there are more things than that i know those are top things like actual

deep desire and preference that doesn't count what we're talking about skydiving and rock climbing aren't in the same category what about when gay guys come up to you and says how you gonna know if you never tried it? Then you either... You say the thing about the deep inside you. No, you say whatever you want. No, I don't want to though. Yeah, that's it. There you go.

So no, you can't make me. Well, no one's trying to make you. Right. And I'm secure if I say no. And if they are, then there's a real problem. And it's fine if you're gay, but this is not my thing.

Great. We're too far down the rabbit hole about the gay thing at this point. And if you do it once, it still could mean you're not gay you just tried it but i didn't do that did it and so yeah i i agree though that the whole here's here's you can have sex with so many men and not be gay as long as in your mind you're not gay here's i have never done it here here's but that is true the kind of person who says you don't know if you like it unless you try it maybe you just think you don't deserve the kind of person who wants you to do the

thing you're talking about what what you said what what i said the words i said i know but the first part is the part i didn't hear no you weren't listening is it more because i said something and i i shouldn't have said something. You shouldn't have. You're right. You interrupted me. But what was the first part of what you said? The kind of person that-

You can't say what to what, by the way, which is what you did. I was highlighting how dumb it was that you didn't know what I said. What? Because there was no excuse for it. That was dumb,

so that's why I did that. Wow. So go ahead. The kind of person that says the thing that you're talking about, which is you don't know if you like something unless you've tried it,

is the kind of person that wants you to do what they want you to do and is trying to just use this employee strategy to get you to do it yeah i agree they don't care about you they want you to do it that's right that's like my friend david sullivan uh steeper and i'm not gonna do it he made me do pickleball and you know what i did pickleball and i had a good time but i still didn't want to do it do you understand that i still didn't like it you had a good time and you didn't like it that's not i don't want to go again that's the thing that's different than i know but it's a very nuanced thing because he's like come on let's do pickleball and i was there

and i did talk about this on my show congratulations you can go check it out but i did do pickleball and i had a good time and the only reason why i did it was because next to the coffee shop we got by happenstance and then we went over we played pickleball and i liked it i had a good time but that's it and i don't really want to go again yeah okay so so did i really like it yeah so you can like something do it once and then that's it of course i know but that's weird though if you really like something you'd want to do it again not necessarily i know but also how much you really like something if you only did it once and then you're good not that much but you liked it well enough so did i really like it or did i not like it there's a scale you liked it like well enough yeah you didn't

dislike it you had a good time you're like a open person it was enjoyable but you don't want to go do it again but i'm pissed off i had a good time doing it well that's your job to talk about with your therapist i'm a curmudgeon i guess that's what it is, right? That's not what that is, but you are a curmudgeon. Okay. Next. Hey, Matt and Chris. My name's Jamie. I'm from Calgary, Alberta.

I'm a huge fucking fan of both of you guys, but I want to keep this as short as possible, so here it goes. I like your style. Long story short, I was with a guy for about a year and a half. We were living together. We had a big blowout. We broke up. I gave him two weeks to get out. He decided to move to his mom's house on the east coast of Canada.

So he left most of it. Her hair part is your hair part. It's coming from right above her ear. Okay, well, we're obviously meant to be together. Okay, continue. He left stuff here for me to mail him once he got out there. Jesus. Which is totally fine.

I guess. One of the things he did decide to take with him at the time, though, was his PlayStation 5. He loves video games. I get it. I'm not knocking that. You should. But he left his father's ashes here. And he has since asked me to do things like take his father's ashes out of where I have them stored now and display them on my mantle for his dad's birthday.

I have never met his dad in real life. He died before I got a chance to meet him. And they didn't even have a good relationship when he was alive. So I don't feel like I'm being ridiculous in saying no to that. That's correct. Especially because he took his PlayStation over taking it. Yeah, that's absurd. I offered to mail them to him if it was super important to him. But he didn't really want to do that.

What the heck? He didn't say anything to that. So I assume that was a no. But he was saying that I'm a huge bitch and i'm being unreasonable for not taking his father's ashes out on his birthday uh i just kind of want your guys opinion because i don't think that's unreasonable some people do some people thought he was being crazy i just want to know what you what person is like thanks nah he's right you are a bitch yeah that's absurd you here's how here's how wrong he is and then how right you are okay he is zero percent right and so therefore 100 wrong and

the woman who submitted the video is 100 right is zero percent wrong yeah okay that's it here's what she has too much of a heart and a conscience. Clearly. This is how it goes. You say, hey, can you put my dad's ashes on? It's his birthday. Hey, can you put my dad's ashes on your mantle? It's his birthday.

Oh. Actually, I'm way ahead. He already did it. Oh. Thanks. Yeah. I lied. Why are you lying, though?

Just say no. It's an absurd thing to ask. This guy's crazy. I know. You deal with crazy people by giving them a no. It's an absurd thing to ask. This guy's crazy. I know. You deal with crazy people by giving them a logical explanation? You've got to lie to crazy people. No, here's what you do. Say it to me.

Say it to me. Hey, it's my dad's birthday. Can you put him on the mantle, please? No. You fucking bitch. Dude, here's the deal. First of all, he's dead. It's fine.

He doesn't need to be higher up on his birthday. Also, he doesn't even care. Well, he's the guy doesn't care. The guy doesn't care. He's just honestly, he's just trying to still have control over the. Yeah, that's really what it is. He's trying to extend power and control over you. But even more of a reason to say no.

Put him on the mantle. Really? Okay, I did it. Yeah. What were you wearing when you did it? Dude, you can't you just don't but who are your friends also that said it's okay you i is she making that up no i don't think so you can't you the guy took his playstation dude and not his dad

leave the dad take the playstation it's like the leave the gun take the canola yeah the godfather wow dude the dead father the worst guy the dead father dude okay listen the worst guy dude I'm sure he took other things too. So he took the PlayStation and like socks. Yeah, but not his dad. Yeah, he left his dad at his ex-girlfriend's house, but he took socks. And then don't mail them. Also, mail my dad is hilarious. Also, why don't mail them?

What do you think people are going to get into? It's not a valuable thing. Nobody's going to steal your dad Is that why That's not even why though No they think it's going to get Like messed up In transit

But like the truth is The only time things get messed up In transit Is when somebody steals your package And let me tell you something Nobody's going to steal your dad Some people don't have dads Nobody's going to steal your dad's ashes

Okay I always wanted a dad What if it got lost I always wanted dad ashes What What if it got lost It could wanted dad What What if it got lost It could get lost You lost my dad

Then honestly He should live the rest of his life In shame for taking his Fucking Playstation Instead of his dad Yeah Honestly If they mail both the Playstation

And his dad And he would be more mad That they lost the Playstation According to how he's been Living his life Absolutely And now here's Here's the real thing though

Tell your ex-boyfriend To tune in Send him the clip Exactly at this end yeah and this message is for you you're a bad son okay next video uh and and also uh go get your dad also go back in time and don't leave your dad okay yeah you know also throw him in the ocean also you don't care about your dad you left him at your ex-girlfriend's house and took your playstation 5 i don't really get when someone

dies and you get their ashes and shit and just no i totally get that people are so sentimental i wouldn't do it but i totally get it saying i wouldn't do it yeah no i would just have when like when our parents die i just want to have them and prop them up yeah fill them i want to put them in like taxidermize them yeah but put them in my kitchen like not even like in a far away weird room you can have dad i want to sit mom at the uh dining my dining table oh really yeah half into a meal or what no so i have always i'm eating a meal with her i got you no matter what i want dad to be uh up and propped up making pasta or no just fixing the garbage disposal because he's always doing that more than dude our dad this is how you know my dad our dad yeah i know broke yeah broke

the garbage disposal you hear from the kitchen you're in another room you hear god damn it yes exactly yes dude and we oh, we broke it. Dude, he puts everything. Garbage is supposed to be for crumbs, by the way. Like not. Yeah, my dad will be like, oh, we're not using

this wicker chair anymore. Yeah, it's not a wood chipper, dad. It's unbelievable, dude. And then he's like, and then he's like, God damn it. It's also not even just crumbs. It's like you can put

bigger pieces of food in there, but only food. Yeah, but also, you're not. It's like you can put bigger pieces of food in there, but only food. Yeah, but also you're not supposed to put like full sandwiches down there and stuff. You're not. Yeah, correct. But is that what he's doing? No. Yeah, he puts everything down there, dude.

Wow. He puts everything down there. Still? Even though he's literally broken his Grover's disposal eight times at least. So many times? At least eight times. But no, but so yeah, I don't know if he does it anymore. I bet he does.

He got a more hardcore industrial strength garbage disposal. I bet he still does. Yeah. He still puts like rolling pins down there, you know? Yeah. All right, anyway. Next. What's up, guys?

So hi. I'm Phil. I'm Phil Garia. Just wanted to hear your thoughts real quick on PDA. For some reason, I noticed a couple is doing it a lot. Drunk, Bulgaria. Just wanted to hear your thoughts real quick on PDA. For some reason, I noticed couples doing it a lot. And it's not just a quick, you know, one second peck. It's more of a full-on make-up session with tongue, lip biting. Don't get me wrong, of course, there's a time and place for it.

But when you're on public, you know, crowded transportation, you can't really escape it. It just makes me feel uncomfortable, especially if I'm in a relationship relationship i wouldn't want to do that in front of a ton of strangers and it's all good and i you know it doesn't really matter but i just think it's kind of would you say that somebody who's doing that is a slut and not worth my time i've and i made the right decision i've evolved on my feelings about this it used to gross me out and make me think like what is wrong with those people? Now, I'm kind of just, like, amazed at people who do it. And I just, like, if you're going to do that in public, I'm going to just stare at you.

Like, this is the price you pay. And if you, even for one second, go, what are you looking at? I'm going to say, you. Yeah. You guys are hooking up in front of me. Because you're fucking right there. So, what do you think is... You guys are fucking in front of me. Because you're fucking right there. So what do you think is... You guys are fucking in front of me.

I'm looking at you. So what do you think is the line? Like, obviously two people can hold hands. That's not... That's not even that. Arm around. Okay. Holding.

Resting. And then there's kissing. You think that's the line? I think tit sucking is the line. Sucking on tits. Wow. Yeah. That's way too far.

So kissing is not too far. Kissing? What about making out? Like hard making out like French kissing? Well, on tits. Wow. Yeah. That's way too far. So kissing is not too far. Kissing? What about making out? Like hard making out like French kissing? Well, now I'm saying that, yeah. Because I was saying kissing, and then I said, what about making out? And then you said hard French kissing? Yeah, sure.

Is that what you mean? Like hard making out French kissing? Yeah, making out. Oh, I'm French, so I just want to make sure we're talking about the same thing. Well, pardon me, monsieur. But yes, making out as in French kissing hardcore. Okay, so that's like a little weird, but it's not like upsetting or anything. Okay, now let me put it to you like this.

Okay? Yeah. Same sex. Still okay? It's the same line. No, but okay, for you. It's a little weird. Sometimes people think, well, yeah, but when there's two of the same sex people doing it well those people are

so you even gave them an accent for a reason that's all i'm gonna leave it at that okay yeah well they're not they're not they're all from arkansas right okay yeah they're all from birmingham alabama so um so yeah so no yeah but my point is same for same sex and also it's all the same all the same okay hardcore making out is like a little weird but it's not i agree same if you're like at a stadium like at a sporting event that would be a little bit weird but if you're like a park which is i'm assuming where most people are doing these kinds of things like away from other people a little less weird it has to do with proximity to other people. If they're in public but not like right on top of you or others, it's not that weird.

So if you're a block away in a park and people can't really see you, but maybe you can kind of see them from your apartment window and he's fully inside her and she's riding, that's I mean, I've seen that. Oh, really? And I've just like posted up behind a tree and looked. I'm going to go. Yeah. Like this.

Also, I've seen so much of that like in other people's windows. Oh, really? Yeah. Pimping Tom. The first day I moved into my place in New York, I was moving in, moving my stuff in, putting my AC unit in my window and directly across Second Avenue, I saw a woman and a man having sex from behind. It was as if they were on display for me whoa and and uh the guy was the guy was fucking her from behind with his penis i know how and

she was in front bent over with her vagina facing i know how it goes yeah and he was sticking his penis in the river i know how it goes so uh did you get turned on no i was just like oh my god and i got mike coleman did he get turned on and then we had sex uh i at one time was watching some a woman have sex with a man and i couldn't believe it uh it was at my place and then i realized it was me it felt so good i was like what the what the hell's going on yeah that is weird and then i was like oh god the hell is going on? Yeah, that is weird. And then I was like, oh, God, it's me. And then I go... Cold, cold, cold.

Cold, dude. Oh, yeah. Wow. Anyway. Blind, yeah. Wow. Anyway. Blind with sunglasses. Okay. Next one. Wow.

Oh. Hey, Chris and Matt. My name is Joe. I'm from Charlotte, North Carolina, and I have a relationship question for you guys. So me and my wife, we've been married since 2017, been together since 2012. Since we got married, we have had two children, a four-year-old and a two-year-old, both boys. Um, and obviously with that pregnancy came some weight gain, which I don't have a problem with. I know it might sound like I do, but, um, I actually find it very attractive. However, since gaining that weight, my wife has snored uncontrollably.

I mean, to the point where sometimes it sounds like she stops breathing. And I'm more worried about the health concerns over anything. I'm still attracted to her. I still love her. Beautiful. But she doesn't understand that that weight is really putting her in a position to not live a long life and I need a way to bring that up to her I know it's a very sensitive

subject but any help would be greatly appreciated thank you guys I mean damn say that I guess tricky situation yeah I guess so usually I will say that usually people who call in or send a

video in to this show say how should i approach the subject and i think like 80 of the time they should just approach it how they approached it to us i mean that's such a sticky situation because way because of the obvious thing yeah honestly even for men but for a woman it's like way different yeah but here's here's honestly what i think i think if we're talking about because Because of the obvious thing. Yeah. Honestly, even for men. Totally. But for a woman, it's like way different. But here's honestly what I think. I think if we're talking about – because obviously obesity is very often, if not always, a health risk. So I think maybe compare it, like lead into it the way you just said it was good. into it the way he just said it was good but if you wanted to like soften the landing even more you want might want to talk about like look like maybe there was a point where one of you smoked and the other one asked you to stop smoking maybe there was a point one of you drank too much

asked you to stop drinking bring that up as the context as like the groundwork for what you're going to bring up with the weight thing because what you want to make clear you're not doing is saying, honey, you weigh too much and I don't like it or something along those lines. Well, it's the opposite. He said he does like it. Exactly. So even more of a reason why you don't want to make it sound like that. You want to make clear that it up front that it's a health thing,

unlike you just did with us. He brought up the health thing late. And you want to bring that up first thing, first, first, first thing. Good advice. You want to make it a health, because it is, because that's what it is.

It is. If what you're saying is honest, and then we have no reason not to believe you, it's a health concern. And just like if she were smoking, or you were smoking, and she wanted to bring it up with you, or drinking too much,

or doing drugs, or anything unhealthy. Even just like eating too much sugar, whatever. Like you want your partner to live as long as possible. Not only live as long as possible, live healthy and happy for as long as possible. And if someone is not aware of how much damage they're doing to themselves, it actually, as uncomfortable as it may be be it is your partner's responsibility or in your case your responsibility to your partner to say something have you ever seen

fit to fat to fit did you just stutter a lot nope that's actually what the show is called fit to fat to fit no so it starts out with somebody who's fit and they know someone who's fat and they fit person gets fat they spend four months getting as fat as the person. What? And then lose it with them. And they both lose it. Oh. You could do fit to fat to fit.

Okay. You could be like, look, sweetie. Doesn't that sound really unhealthy, though? It is. It's not good to gain weight really fast or lose weight really fast. But you will, if she loses weight, then it is eventually, ultimately will just be healthy for her. I don't think you should do that, but here's the thing. Yeah, I don't here's the thing yeah i don't before you bring it up ramp up how much you're like wow baby you

look great whoa and also maybe like sorry but maybe like have sex a few times yeah and make clear that you enjoyed it and are enjoying it while you're doing it yeah yeah yeah or bring it up during sex oh yeah. You know you snore? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You snore, yeah. I was thinking maybe you lose a little bit of weight. It's a health thing. There's proof.

There's proof. And here's some proof, baby. You want some proof? You want some proof? A car. Yeah, dude. I hear you, though, dude. I get it man um what just that we give great advices why are things funnier when you've just taken a sip of something because you shouldn't be laughing oh so naughty we're not everybody likes to live naughty we are

naughty intrinsically life teaches us not to be naughty but we naughty. We're naughty by nature. Everybody likes to live naughty. We are naughty intrinsically. Life teaches us not to be naughty, but we're naughty. We are naughty by nature. It's true. Naughty by nature. All right, cool. What's his name was right? What's his name?

Tretch. Tretch. He was so right. I am that with OPP. He was a good actor, though. Tretch was a good actor, but he didn't get the part that Tupac got on Juice because Tupac was a better actor. What do you mean?

They auditioned for the same role? Oh, I didn't know that. Tretch went in to do the audition for Juice, and then Tupac went in to do the audition for Juice. I actually don't know who went first, but Tretch speaks of it as, oh, I'm not going to get this part, because he heard him through the wall. Oh, they were in the same room?

Yeah. Wow, yeah. I mean, Tupac's an amazing actor, but Tretch was good too, yeah. Yeah, Tretch was a good actor. Why do you say that, though? Why do I say what? That Tretch was a good actor.

Because we just brought him up, and I thought... I don't know, but what did you see you see him in oh i don't even remember wasn't he in uh higher learning was he i think he was buster rhymes was i don't know or f's in higher learning i mean a lot of people are in higher learning michael rapaport's in it dude how long has michael rapaport been around 75 and he's only like 50 you know what he makes him laugh so hard in small-time crooks oh dude he is so funny in that movie i know he's only like 50. You know what? He makes me laugh so hard in Small Time Crooks. Oh, dude. He is so funny in that movie. I know.

He's so funny always. He really is so funny. Anthony Chris is his name. Wow. Look how handsome he still is, dude. Yeah, that guy is a handsome dude. He's in a movie that is so funny. Oh, he's in Nothing to Lose. Oh, wow.

Oh, no, it's a soundtrack. Oh, right. He's in Juice. Yeah, but he didn't get the part that Dupin see uh there is such a funny look of actor only yeah dude there was a movie that he's in that is so funny and i put uh it's a while it was a while ago he's in a lot of stuff. It is the... No, no, no. Players ball?

No. He's in The Sopranos. Oh, wow. As Trach. Wow. Oh, he is in The Sopranos. He is? Yeah.

I don't know what the movie is, but he's in some movie where he is... Wow, look how many things he's been in. Oh, it's Love and a Bullet. Is it Love and a Bullet? Click Love and a Bullet. Oh, he's in Soul Food. It's... Look at that. It's Love loving a bullet. Is it loving a bullet? Click loving a bullet. Oh, he's in Soul Food. Look at that. It's loving a bullet.

Oh, look at this guy. Dude, this movie. Could anybody be more pimpin' pimpin' than the guy in that picture? There's a scene in this movie where somebody shoots at him, and he goes down on one hand, dude, like this, kicks his feet up, and the bullet goes under him. It's like me with the ear, last episode. With the ear? Yeah, you're trying to get, like,, kicks his feet up, and the bullet goes under him. It's like me with the ear, last episode.

With the ear? Yeah, you're trying to get, like, you get shot at, and then you pull out your gauged ear? Yeah. Wait, you don't remember that? I do remember that, but it's not like that. No, it's just like that.

Because he used his whole body to do it. It was, it's not even, even plyometric people would be like, what the fuck is he doing? Well. Anyway, it was so funny. He avoided the bullet, right?

I put it on Instagram, and Chris Rock liked it. Okay, well. It's all good, it was so funny. He avoided the bullet, right? I put it on Instagram and Chris Rock liked it. Okay, well, relax. It's all good, though. Nobody cares. Nobody cares. I know, and I don't because I know him, so it's fine. Who were we giving advice to just now?

Tretch. No, really. The guy. The guy with the wife that he said he wanted to snore. Oh, yeah. Make it a health thing. Be real. Lead with the health thing.

Lead with the health thing and be real care feel. Okay, cool. All right. Care Rodney Dangerfield. Hey, guys. It's Bruce again. Oh, yeah. Who is this guy again?

Creatively. He wanted to quit his job. Oh, yeah. Oh, his uncle or something? Was that the guy who worked for his father-in-law? I actually don't remember that. So this guy has too many layers on.

Yeah. Right. He wanted to quit and pursue a different thing altogether because he was working with his father-in-law. And now his job is now wearing too many clothes. His job now is to be always hot. I think you're confusing two people. Yeah, you are. Anyway, he wanted to quit and then he said, how do I quit?

Okay, cool. You are. Okay, cool. You're mixing it up. You're rubbing it in, but go ahead. Quitting your job over a podcast. Probably not my best idea. Oh, right.

Now I remember. But he fired me, so I guess same outcome. Whatever. Because of the podcast? Light rips. Booyah, booyah, and booyah. About to kill himself. And on a building.

Yeah, you guys hiring? Wow Wow That was a good submission Good job Booyah and Booyah And then literally Took rice in after this

And shook so hard On the concrete Dude He honestly Uh He got fired I wonder if he did get fired Because of the fucking podcast

I think the implication Was he got fired Because of this No I don't think That's the implication But I wonder if it Then why'd you Then why'd you ask Because it's salacious And I'm salacious Well I think he did get fired got fired because of this. No, I don't think that's the implication, but I wonder if it- Then why'd you ask?

Because it's salacious, and I'm salacious. Well, I think he did get fired because of us. We're naughty. I think that he is- Yeah, we're not hiring. We've got our force. We've got our crew. No job for you.

So we're sorry. We could hang our clothes up on him because he clearly likes that. Yeah, I do have some extra clothes that you might want, but we're sorry to're sorry to hear about you being fired but also maybe he wanted to get when a door closes another one opens right but he literally wanted to get fired if i remember correctly he wanted to get fired but he was like i hope my boss sees this wasn't he i remember that no i don't think so but what i'm saying is when i want it to be true but i want it to be true what i said so it is true that's fine but i'm saying there's another door somewhere. Find that and walk through it. And it's not this, you're not working, it's not into us.

You're really stretching that cliche. So what I'm saying is that's good for you. Thank you. Thank you when something bad happens to you, you've got to do something to flip it on its ass, and you go, thank you, life. Thank you very much. This is a learning experience.

I'm going to grow from this, so thank you. I mean, I agree with that, but you do that? I don't do that, no. Okay, yeah, that's good advice, but you don't do that, yeah. Well, no, I'm... I don't do that either. It's too hard. If you can do that, though, it's good.

I do do that sometimes, but then sometimes I get in certain moods, and I go, oh, man, I'm not doing that. But I try to. I always try to make things the best thing that ever happened to me. Oh, wow. It's also so deeper. Yeah, it sounds like it. Okay, next. So defensive is what it is. All right, next one.

Next, next, next. Hey, Chris and Matt. I'm Nina. My boyfriend and I love the pod. We're true babies. Chris, we recently got tickets to see you in Tulsa. Can't wait. So I'm going to jump right into it. My boyfriend and I have been living together for two years, dating since I was a freshman in college. But here's the thing, he's seven years older than me. So by the time we started dating, he was already out of college. There's this part of me that, you know, despite the perfect relationship we have and, and the fact that we see a future together, I feel like I'm missing out on experiences at college. I want to like live it up. Um, there's a big part of me that's kind of addicted to the chase of new relationships and new guys. And I kind of want to have the ability to flirt

with other guys and live it up while I'm young. So what do you say? Should he let me have a ho phase or should I just hunker down and make the future my priority and just accept that I've met the one? Any advice is appreciated. Thanks, guys. What an awesome attitude about this. Should he let me have a hoe face? I mean, just calling it like a spade a spade. You should, if you actually really think,

I guess there's a few things going on here. If you really think that that's something you want before you truly settle down, you should bring it up. But what is going to have to happen is you're going to have to let him do the same thing too. Because it can't just be you who's like free and he's just waiting for you to finish.

And that obviously would work if this was a guy calling in about him and his girlfriend. It's the same thing. You can't have a partnership if it's not fair. If you're getting some cut, he's going to get some cut. Okay. Don't say that but um also though i will say i know a couple specifically that were together for a long time they were about to get married and the woman said i love you very much i really want to get married and i'm really looking forward to it and i can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you but we've been together so long and since we were so young, I want between now and our

wedding, just that period, to be able to see other people. To put some stuff on my face. To be able to see other people. But to put some stuff on my face. So she starts going on dates with a few different guys and like actually doing it, but always coming- Putting stuff in her face. Oops.

Stop. I'm not interrupting. I'm coloring it. No, you are interrupting. Now you interrupted yourself. Stop. Okay. But just can you say and so she would go on dates with these guys and then oops and then she would come home to him at night every night she would never like not tell him what was going on it was a very honest thing he never wanted to do it in the first place though he finally does it once with a girl that he ends up

really liking though because that's the kind of guy he is he's very like one person centric right but he ends up going like too far with her and really liking her and she really likes him and then one like night he came home like later than he had said he was gonna come home and she finally broke and specifically asked like like, why are you late? What's going on? Whatever. And he told her, and she flipped out. Yeah.

And almost tanked the entire relationship because she was so jealous of what the guy was doing with this other woman. So that's the long version of saying, be careful. Right. Be careful. What you got is something great. Don't think it grows on trees because if you mess this thing up it might not be fixable and here's the thing dude everyone's

gonna think you're talking about me you're not i don't even know what you mean and i know who you're talking about too what are you saying it's not me people are gonna be like you're talking about your brother oh no it's not you no hey gonna be like you're talking about your brother oh no it's not you no hey dude and i know but i know who it is okay stop doing that you don't even have a clue who it is you don't even know who they are no i thought it was a no you some other guy you don't know who these people are okay so shut your mouth that's fine but so shut your mouth and we're good but but what my point is to get it out there, it wasn't me. It was somebody that I thought I knew. Shaggy, shaggy. That you know that I don't know.

Okay, fine. But what I'm saying is, this is something that, look, I don't, for people who are normal people that don't have a problem with, you know, love, don't have a problem with sex, don't have a problem with sleeping around, don't have a problem with love. Don't have a problem with sex. Don't have a problem with sleeping around. Don't have a problem. Flirting is fine. You can flirt. If you're not going to do anything. If you're not going to do anything. If the guy is secure enough, he should be.

He's out of college and shit. He should be like, oh, it's fine. You can flirt with whoever you want. I don't care. Yeah, but she's obviously talking about a little bit more. I know is but she may not know what she wants she may think that that's what she wants and then do it and look the grass is always greener but the point is flirting is probably enough i'm guessing you seem like a sound person and you found somebody that you might be with for the rest of your life it i would say you know i get it i get it because especially because he's not with you in college

it's a little different you don't feel like you're living that college lifestyle you're not living living up your youth but if you got a good thing if you really think he's the one genuinely like not because that's what's supposed to happen if you really think that this dude is the one you want to be the rest with the rest of your life, then I don't think you should do it. But if you have any sort of doubt, any sort of doubt, then I think that you should do it. I think that you should say, look, I need to go through my whole face. Don't put it like that, but I want to put some stuff on my face.

I just think, I mean, maybe you have already, but if you haven't, certainly I think you should talk to him about it yeah and just again be careful but like you know be delicate because feelings are intense about this kind of stuff yeah explosive sometimes but like it's clearly enough on your mind that you called into us uh you might want to bring it up with him as you said he's probably much more mature than most guys your age so it might not be actually that much of a bomb to jump on him um and who knows maybe he'll be like oh yeah it's a great idea i think you should do that i'm gonna go do it too and then but still and then we're gonna ruin our lives that way right you know yeah but again it's a decision you guys make together and that's better here's the other thing too you seem like the kind of

person where you're like hey i want to go out and do my thing and you're just going to go out and meet another guy and then be with him like you're saying you don't think i don't think she has it in her to really be a hoe how how what energy because i read people and i'm you know i'm not saying i'm like but like i i feel a certain way about certain people and just hearing what she's talking and how she's talking about it, I don't really think she has it in her to be a hoe. I don't think she does.

I think that she's the kind of person that would just like be like, you know, sleep with one or two guys and that's a hoe phase to her. And then she met the guy and now she's like, she likes this guy and the other guy's assed out. I don't know. I don't. So you don't even think she likes this guy that much i don't i don't think this guy's the one i don't think this guy's the one i think he is okay yeah okay i or rather i

think she thinks he is yeah yeah yeah okay i think she knows deep down that he might not be the one oh okay well now you're psychoanalyzing but but okay. That's just what I think. Okay. All right, one more? One more. I'm going to just say this about the next one. Yeah. It's a follow-up. Okay. And I didn't even-

From the same woman. She's like, I just had sex with a bunch of guys. I mean, currently in my whole face. I didn't vet the video. I didn't even watch it. I said, I want to play this, and so- Because you knew what it was about? No, because I know- Oh, it's a follow-up. Yeah, it's a follow-up. Okay. So this could be boring. You didn't even watch it. I said, I want to play this. Because you know what it's about? No, because I know who it's from.

Yeah, it's a follow-up. So this could be boring. You didn't even vet it. Okay. All right, cool. Well, that's fun. Let's see. Mystery video.

Okay. Lil Xan. I sent him a video about the right way to drink something. And no one seemed to know what was going on in that video. Yeah. And I'm going to get straight to the point. What I was talking about is the hard-hitting issues. Chris, you have an issue about cheeseburgers as a snack, and that's a hard topic, and we need to be talking about that.

And how if you eat a cheeseburger and you're watching TV, you've got both stimulations at the right time. Yeah, I get that. That's the right thing to do. But if you lay down, you have too many stimulations going at once. Right. So that's what I'm talking about with the drink like that is the right way to do something and not nobody talks about that but it's right and we need to be talking about that more right rather than like i said the weather and i get it um i can't force it and i will force it in my conversations

oh wow i'm not having a debate about it oh well then you suck i'm going to say this is the right way to do something i'm like spreading knowledge i'm not trying to have a conversation i'm telling you no you're doing this now um not his hand not his hand yeah i mean someone's trying to sell him yeah somebody's smarter than him i just thought i would clear it up um what was the thing about the drink? What was he saying about it? I drank two times. I'm a good fella.

Okay. Peace. No one really knew. It was like, you should drink this way and not this way, and that's what I should tell people when I meet them. Also, all you just did in this video was tell us how shitty you are at having conversations. When you meet people.

I'm not going to listen to them. This is not going to be a conversation. This is literally me telling them what's best. Yeah. Imagine if I was like, hey, what's up? Nice to meet you. I'm Chris. Hey, man.

A burger's a snack, dude. You should eat two for lunch. Like, dude, you would be a lunatic. Yeah. Like, and then you go, what? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's it. We're not talking about it anymore.

A burger's kind of a meal. No, no, no. no, no, no, no. That's it. We're not talking about it anymore. It wasn't a conversation. A burger is kind of a meal. No, no, no. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You got to meet someone else. Hey, Frank. If you lay down and eat a burger, that's too much simulation. Nice to meet you. I mean, this guy is just...

You know what it is? He's got to get a grip, dude. And he also could be 17, but could be 37. Yeah, dude. The guy is Lil Xan, and it's all good. He's Lil Xan without the tattoos, and it's fine. But also, he's one of those guys where you can't tell if he has braces or not. And then also...

Yeah, dude. Yeah, he is. Yep. And then also... He did? He did? I ruined it. And he also did...

It was fine the way it was, and Marco ruined it. And then also, dude um so fucking absolutely boring and if you meet somebody like that gonna be i'm gonna have zero friends the guy has zero friends if you have any friends right now you're gonna lose them fucking fast we love the guy though and yeah call in again yeah for real we love you dude thank you for watching thank you for calling in twice with two of the most utter bullshit videos i've ever heard in my life give us a third one yeah please give us a third one we dare you to make sense this time and and explain to us also another thing besides the drink thing that you

feel that is a hard-hitting issue because so far you called in twice and you gave only one example that we don't even understand we don't understand it so but uh so give us another one there's got to be more because the burger is a snack when it very clear. That's when I say one burger is a snack. You're not going to eat one for lunch. It's two for lunch. Fat. That's a meal. Fat.

I thought you said fact. Absolutely obese. All right, cool. All right, we're done. Well, that's it. Look, I'm going to be in New York at the Beacon Theater, February 18th, Rhode Island, February 17th. I'm going to be in Boise, Salt Lake City. 17th. I'm going to be in Boise, Salt

Lake City. I'm going to be in Tulsa, Midland, Texas, Austin, Texas, two shows, Minneapolis, two shows, Milwaukee, Columbus, Ohio, Cincinnati, and all that. So go to chrisdalia.com to get your tickets. Go to mattdalia.com for some

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