Lifeline - 50. Miso Angry

Episode Date: March 26, 2023

🤳 Want to submit to Lifeline? Go here: forms.gle/EYbqjvyy1A9r728Y9 🎧 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: apple.co/3NG2G2G 🔊 Subscribe on Spotify: spoti.fi/3NPUwoT 🔗 All our links: linktr.ee/watchlifeline 💚 Lifeline is the first podcast about you, hosted by Matt D'Elia & Chris D'Elia. Thank you so much for your questions! If you have a question for us use the link above. Today we discuss what to do if your man's mind is elsewhere during the act, why the boys enjoy Perrier, how to quit as a freelancer, when your partner can't decide on food, and gross behavior going down in the shared bathroom. 📆 Book 20 min or 40 min one-on-one sessions with Matt at mattdelia.com. More LIFELINE: 📸 Instagram: instagram.com/watchlifeline 💃 Tiktok: tiktok.com/@watchlifeline Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Let's go seize the night. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamex. Benefits vary by car and other conditions apply. So, is it all recording or what? This is what we deal with every time. It's all good? Yep.

All right, cool. It's interesting how nobody ever lets us know that we're rolling. They don't know. We don't know. So, we sit down and then it's just like we have to say, are we rolling? And then nobody says anything and then we have to say it louder. That's right. And then only one of them says it, but it's too quiet.

So, we got to say, what was that? And then they say, and they both finally say, yeah, we're rolling. And it took too long. Right, I know. And it's horrible. It took too long. So, what was that? And then they say, and they both finally say, yeah, we're rolling. And it took too long. Right. I know. And it's horrible. It took too long. So what we're doing is we're confirming and then making sure that the answer is yes. And then telling you yes.

Okay. It takes too long. It takes too long. Yeah. So here's the deal, though, about the whole thing is you are wearing orange and an orange hat and an orange hat, holding an orange hat. And I have a backup orange hat, too. And I saw you throw this coaster over here because it's orange, right?

Yeah. And then I saw you had a Coke, but that wasn't your liking. So you got the orange one, Perrier. And you got that because of the flavor or because... This actually was not intentional, but it's a very happy accident. Yeah. I bet it would be subconscious. In my fridge, I always have orange, lime, and... it out too early and plain and sometimes pink grapefruit but not always

so boring what you just said so la la orange why is this one called why is this one in french when the other one is just grapefruit because this is lime and orange this is the only reason oh i thought it was not even perrier it's confusing. Yeah, it is. Bad marketing. No, it's actually good. Bad marketing. But also, both of my orange beanies say the same thing. Uh-huh. God bless whoever hating on me. And let's just say this, dude.

It's episode 50. Yay. An elephant. Are you doing an elephant? oh why did you make that um wow yeah noisemaker well they're noisemakers okay uh so it's it's chrisalia.com if you want to go get tickets for the tour uh i will be in um minnesota milwaukee columbus cincinnati salt lake city and other ones, dude. So how great is that?

Boise. I always forget that one. Oh, and I will be in Irvine tomorrow. That's sold out. I will be in Oxnard tomorrow, the next night. And then it's Irvine, Bray, and Oxnard before I go to Milwaukee. Southern California dates to practice the hour because you're directing it. What nights are those in Irvine?

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Irvine, I think, is Monday. Oh, you're saying it um what nights are those in irvine monday tuesday wednesday monday irvine i think is monday oh you're saying i got 27 28 yeah uh so that's that i think irvine's already sold out but maybe they all have no idea you know what i mean it's warm but not too warm right because they stand up so um yeah chrisley.com for that what about matt delia.com oh i'll tell you about matt delia.com? Oh, I'll tell you about MattDelia.com. If you want private advice sessions, you go to MattDelia.com, where you will find advice time slots with me, Matt Delia, who gives you private advice that no one will ever know about. Cool. All right, great.

Well, that's great. Oh, dude, what about the hot new merch? Look at this. Look at that. Look at that. We got a lot of different ones. We got the pink and purple yeah grab put it up on screen you can put up on screen purple ones you got the other ones uh i think they're up now so purple is amazing you like the purple we got the t-shirt this is advices here you wanted he wouldn't got the t-shirt but he didn't want to

get the purple hoodie for some reason one is far away is far away. Not really, but yeah. We love it. It's good. It's very good. It's better to hurry up and get that purple one, though, because I'm going to buy them all for myself. That's kind of weird considering you get them free. Hundreds of them. But, yeah. So anyway, dude, we're having a, we're it, we're it.

Like and subscribe. And that's what's up. You brought up an interesting point in the bathroom, actually. What did I say in the bathroom? Well, first of all, you went... Nope, didn't. Didn't do that. Didn't do that.

And then the point you made was, I don't like it either, and I don't think I've ever voiced it, but I've definitely thought it. When you click the switch for the light and the fan goes on as well. Yes. Some bathrooms only have one switch, and if you turn the lights on, what goes on with it is the fan that is too loud completely ineffectual even if it isn't too loud never have the fan uh doesn't work doesn't do anything i don't even know if it's supposed to spit fan air out or like suck it in is it

no no i don't know because it's pointless just to room it or you know make it room it around room it around um make it around the room is what i meant to say okay well either way it's no one wants it no one likes it if you want to have a fan that's totally fine you gotta have tons of fans you gotta have a separate switch yeah which is easy which is what i have in my house you want a fan you turn the fan on and only the fan you want a light you turn the light on and only the light i think that never have the fan anyway we should just do away with those those are like something that they created in whenever, whatever year

and then they know they didn't work like immediately after and they still have like these not only fans grandfathered in from houses that were built in the 40s but also

they make them now. No, you know why I have a fan in my, I built it. It's a new bathroom. You know why I have it? Why? It's because the AC, it doesn't reach that bathroom.

Yeah. So the fan is actually for a reason because it gets hot in there. Okay. So it gets hot in there. So guess what? Fan makes it not even cooler at all. That might be true. Because it's just hot air coming around.

I get it. The reason the fan is in there is to attempt to alleviate the heat. Oh. Was that the dog? Oh, that was a dog. Yeah. the heat oh uh was that the dog oh that was a dog yeah sounded like somebody just let loose okay out of their rear end butthole the worst author of all time the rear and be descriptive and just saying the same words rear and butthole e-n-d what no rear yeah e-n-N-D. Yeah, yeah, okay. Rear end, butthole.

Okay. You know? Okay, so it's been too much rain in Los Angeles. Way too much. That's great. Congratulations, dude. Hey, rain, how you doing? Dude, go away.

The thing about that is that when people... I know what you're going to say. And everyone knows this, too. And I don't know why. If everyone knows it, then why do people still say it? The thing that everyone knows and people still say is when someone brings up the rain like you just did, the rain sucks. I'm so over the rain. And the other person in the conversation says, oh, but we really needed it. Oh, are you a farmer?

Are you a farmer? Because if you're a farmer, then I get why you needed rain. If you're a guy in a loft or if you're a woman in a house in in studio city yeah then you you didn't need it yeah what does that mean anyway by the way because la gets caught up immediately they don't even know how to do with the excess rain they don't know how to deal with it they get the rain and then there's no it's not equipped to take on that rain it gets filled up and then we don't you know it's just a flood so people are crashing so much i get flat tires that los angeles most cities roads and highways were built at a slight curve so that the rain falls off on the sides in la and i think probably other areas of california as well

the roads are just built flat as if it never rains so that was built for a city that never rains which nobody ever thought that about los angeles mine my hill my i live on a hill right and it just is a river just you can't even leave oh yeah i have a kayak to leave yeah i got here so um you park at the bottom of the hill yeah so my my shoulders are awesome because i keep doing it with the kayak but um so but uh they said so i look yesterday and it was like whoa this is the last time this is like two a few months in the making it's been raining but the last time that the uh it's been months and then so i look yesterday and it says for the foreseeable future there's no rain.

And that's the first time in months it's been like that. And then today I checked, and it says next Wednesday it's going to rain. So they lied. The app lied. Here's the thing. Most fields of study. Hey, go away, dog. Yeah, dog, come on.

Most fields of study get better as time goes on. advancements in the technology or whatever uh predicting things like that get better and better and better for whatever reason predicting the weather everybody sucks at it as much as they've always sucked at it when people were doing fucking rain dances yeah because dallas rains could be on ktla channel five and be like it's gonna be a stormy night tonight. And it just isn't at all. Yeah, I know. And then the next day, guess who's on the fucking news again being the weatherman?

Dallas Rains. And he still has a job. And he gets it right never. And he still has a job. That's true of every weatherman. And to rub it in our face, his last name is Rains. So he is just like, that's like, you know, if you're a streetwalker and your name is Chris Hooker. Dude, well, that's a cool name.

Dallas Rains, though, is the coolest name. Yeah, but only always get it right when it rains. But they can't because it's not a thing. That's what they do. They go like this. First of all, he's a weatherman. He doesn't even, he's not the guy that's like, it's going to rain. No, I think you are supposed to have a degree in meteorology.

Really? You're telling me all those chicks on the Telemundo with the bubble butts that are just like, it's going to rain. Well, I don't know about Telemundo. They went to school? But you're supposed to have a meteorology background if you're going to be a fucking weather person. So that's why he changed his name.

But here's the deal, dude. This is what it is. This is what they do. They go like this. Thursday, it's going to be cloudy. Yeah, they go like this. Half the time they do that. Yeah.

They don't't they're not they just look at another channel there's one original source right that is wrong and everybody is is like copying the person that is most recently looked at that thing yeah yeah so anyway dude it's got to change really really we had to talk about the hard-hitting issues but it's got to change yeah um it's got to change around here anyway whatever dude oh what what you know yeah this is a good podcast man and it's like i want it to be the number one podcast and it is in many ways what everyone wants for their podcast yeah but uh but they don't really get it and this is it dude this is where it's at it's been good lately.

I got to say. I never listened to it or watch it, but I listened to last week's and it was good. It was a good, good, good, good thing to do. The worst author. Good, good, good, good. Hey, good, good, good, good. Good, good, good, good, good, good. All right.

Well, let's get into it, dude. You know what i mean real quick but before we go okay okay i got something to say about the people who make appointments with me oh okay if you don't have something to ask advice about so sup don't waste my motherfucking time yeah but aren't they paying for it they're paying for it so who cares but no it still makes me mad though because like i don't want to say the thing and what it was okay but it's happened enough now okay that it just it's like if you want to try to contact me like reach out to me in a way that is how people reach out to people. Like, find my email. People have done that in the past.

I'm on Instagram. DM me. But you're going to make an appointment to like, don't do that. And it makes me feel bad the rest of the day. And I don't like it. Oh. All right? Okay.

Okay. I don't know what it is, but okay. I bet you could guess. Yeah, probably. Yeah, I bet you could. Yeah. is but okay i bet you could guess yeah probably yeah i bet you could yeah because they they yeah they live in uh somewhere else and they want to make it no oh okay yeah no clue so um uh yeah let's do it

what's up matt and chris my name is kate i'm from newcastle australia chris my boyfriend and i we met you in Denver last year. Denver. It's the whole reason we booked a holiday to America, and it truly was the highlight. Thank you so much. Aw, thank you. Matt, we love you too, of course. Of course.

I'm a big fan. I always watch the podcast, and before we come to America, I was really curious about this drink that's always on the table with you guys. It's this green can I've got in my head. It's this delicious refreshment, something citrusy, maybe like Sprite. And when we come to America, I made it my mission to find it. We don't have it here in Australia. We found it somewhere finally in an airport, and I grabbed my boyfriend,

and I was like, quick, we've got to go and buy this drink. I need to try it. And I'm reading the label and guys, it's soda water. And I'm not really sure if I'm asking for advice. Maybe I'm asking for you guys to look within. Maybe I'm asking for some clarity. But if that really is spicy water that tastes like TV static, I think we all for some clarity. But if that really is spicy water that tastes like TV static, I think we all need some answers.

Okay. Tastes like what? Why do you drink that? TV static. What was she saying? If you're thirsty. Are you on acid? Because...

If you want a delicious drink, drink Sprite. Yeah. That's your options. Yeah. Sprite, I get it. The thing about Sprite is that it fucking rots your insides

like this drink. Yeah. But this drink is water. So water is always better to drink than any other thing because water. And also my son likes Sprite and it's because it rots your insides. Because they can trick a three-year-old, but they can't trick this dude. I'm 42. I don't know if that's young, but they can't trick me so I drink Perrier.

Now, do I want to drink Coca-Cola? All day. Do you really all day when i stopped drinking coke for a long time i i have a i have one after a long period i don't like it and i don't it i don't understand why i end up coming back to it but i do maybe you have to look within wow but i'm also no perry it also is fucking good. Yeah, but you have to, I didn't like it until I stopped. I drank soda. I drank Coke every single day, multiple times a day. Then I was like, oh, this is disgusting because I'm destroying my body. Correct, yeah.

So I tried to drink. On that note. What? On that note, I'm putting my coke away. And then I tried to drink Diet Coke because everyone was like, Diet Coke is great. Diet Coke is terrible. Diet Coke. And it tastes tastes like chemicals and then it was like well you're still destroying your body because of chemicals so then i was like all right dude i guess i can try to drink this club club soda again and i tried and i was like it's not so bad it's the carbonation i

was addicted to you know i'm a raging addict i'm a hardcore addict and uh i drink uh you know that's why i love i want to drink coke every day and i don't drink coke every day but i don't want to do it so what was the point of anything that you just said uh it's it's good and it's an acquired taste good it's an acquired taste though my point is you don't just like it from jump give it some time also she drinks other stuff still sprite if you drink sprite and coke and all this, you're not really going to love Perrier to its fullest extent. No, it's like you're not going to like CBD if you're doing heroin all day.

Same thing. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. So get off my back. Yeah. All the way from Newcastle. Get off my back.

Number one. That's step number one. Yeah. Number two, give it another try. Yeah. Have two maybe. Not just one sip and say, ew, and then take your Sprite back. Yeah. Like a little kid. Also, we didn't claim it to be anything. Yeah, not just one sip and say ew and then take your sprite back yeah like a little kid also we didn't claim it to be anything yeah no i didn't say we're just

here busy you know chilling just drinking our shit and she comes in all hot by the way she and her boyfriend are awesome i met them in denver and i remember that they were trying to go to a show and they were and they they they came to america to actually see me which is awesome and they made a whole trip out of it. But they're both really, really cool. I like them a lot. Okay, so anyway, sponsor me, Perrier. And that's all I have to say about that.

Okay, that would be the weirdest sponsorship. No, it would be the most obvious sponsorship because I'm always holding it to the point that people in Newcastle even know that I'm doing it. True, true, true. I've got people in Newcastle seeking out the drink because doing it That's true True true true People in Newcastle Seeking out the drink

Now I got some bad PR Because it's always on the table Now I got some bad PR Yeah and Niche niche That was a naughty thing to do To call in about that Yeah and she said

And it's soda water And she said And it tastes like TV static Yeah And you said what I said TV static Because dude I know I know what people mean

When they say it Yeah well Alright Next one Hey guys I'm KB Calling from St. Louis, Missouri How are you looking? Chris I'm an original baby Yeah, well. All right. Next one. Hi, guys. I'm KB calling from St. Louis, Missouri. Chris, I'm an original baby.

And Matt, I'm a really big fan. Love it. Thank you. First of all, I want to thank you guys. You've gotten me through some really, really dark days the last couple of years, finally reaching a clearing. But there were some days where I thought it was just done being a joyful life for me. On those days, you brought belly laughs back to my belly and big smiles back to my face. So thank you for doing what you do. My question is about this really amazing guy that I'm seeing.

When I start to talk about him, my face starts to cramp because I smile so much. He's my best friend already. It's been two and a half months, but he's everything I've ever prayed for. He sticks like shit what do i do but everything's perfect our chemistry strong our friendship strong everything is wonderful here we go last night i was putting in the work and he seemed to be really into it so i looked up to see his face he was on his phone oh when i asked him what he was doing it was twitter porn obviously he's really into me but was was I doing something wrong? Help?

Was she doing something wrong? What does she think? He was looking at porn on Twitter, right? That's what Twitter porn is, right? Yeah. What's going on here? I just can't believe that. Can't believe what?

Did I miss something? She's going to town on the dang-a-dang. Oh, oh, oh, oh. She was given... The dang-a-dang. Oh, I didn't know she was doing that. She said put in work. I thought she was busy doing like her... No, she was given Mr. Winky's close-up, right?

Well, why was he looking at his phone when... I don't say Mr. Winky, right? But why was he looking at his phone, dude? You achieved the thing. Because, I mean mean it's like the guy but last week he was like he couldn't have sex with his girlfriend jerking off to his own which is worse than this is this is not as bad as the other guy this is not as bad as the other guy okay yeah the other guy was worse yeah uh but i i mean i wish i knew was was he like oh like

fumbling his phone like pretending it was something else because he should have been he should have been like oh i had to check an email it's it's weird it's so bold dude yeah to just be like i'm bored yeah but what do you do what do you love fucking alexis texas or whatever you know is that is that that one is that is that a porn star for real i think so yeah that that's the one with the really really big butt right yeah yeah um acting like he doesn't know me me i'm the one who said who it is i do know i mean i was joking first of all so fucking relax on me dude no i know who she is i mean i thought well here's what when you said alexis texas i thought wait a minute is that a real porn star is that just from the the song

alexis texas and then i was like is it real that's why i was asking and then once i knew it was a real one i knew who it was alexis dude you're not gonna get me on that real loud and you're crossing the the invisible barrier you're pointing, getting too close to me. So, yeah, he was watching Alexis Texas while he was getting domed. Yeah. I mean, what do you... I mean, I don't... Ooh, that's not good, right? Ah, it's weird.

It's a boss move, but not a real... It's a guy who thinks... He thinks it's a boss move, maybe, but it's not actually a boss move. No, it's not. It's an inconsiderate move, really. It's real, real inconsiderate. I don't... Guys that do that, I mean, I'm assuming there's not actually a boss move no it's an it's an inconsiderate move really real real inconsiderate i i don't uh guys that do that i mean i'm assuming there's not that many but if you do like have you ever heard of like using your imagination dude like close your eyes and think of a thing yeah you don't need to do if you're people are hooked on their phones i do that

sometimes when i'm like if i'm you know doing my thing if i'm solo you know what i mean if i'm just me just kind of like working it do putting in work right if i'm putting in work in my own work right if i'm in my i have a self business like i have a business like uh i have uh i'm a cell phone i'm an owner right i have my own business right okay and i'm doing my own thing you know what i'm talking about right yeah no so i'm saying she was putting in work In my company Oh okay If somebody's putting in work In my company You know what's going on

So many illusions going on Okay But what I'm saying is I was putting in work Because I'm self-employed Okay So I'm putting in work Right now in my own

Okay So you know what I'm saying Yeah Okay And everybody at home I'm sure you know what I'm saying If you don't know what I'm saying I'm talking about

Masturbation And don't We can bleep it out But we know Right Now that you've said it 17 times if i was doing that though i i sometimes look at the phone and look at p-o-r-n okay just to p-o-r-n porn porn indian dish and so uh what i do is uh sometimes i go you know what and i just and i'm in myself and i'm

self-employed but um you know what i mean i'm doing it myself no i'm not asleep i'm just imagining okay so um but you're not and i'm self-employed getting you're not in the middle of a sex act with your intimate partner yeah no i know but i'm saying that and everyone does those things when they're alone but i'm saying that'm saying that you have to hook into the matrix and actually be there and thinking of really good stuff and be like, oh, God, okay. Okay, fine. Because sometimes you'll just be like, nah, I'll grab my phone, and then you're addicted to the phone, and then you're addicted to, you know what I mean? Okay. And that's what that guy could be doing because that's where you get the most dopamine hits.

Two and a half months, you're already looking at your phone while you're getting domed out when mr winky's getting his close-up i don't like when you say just like you're already reverting to that that's not i believe her that everything's great it's a good relationship but like you got to confront him about that yeah well you can't be like what did i do wrong yeah nothing no no no yeah you did nothing wrong yeah the guy obviously has to some degree i'm not trying to diagnose him but to some degree he has some kind of problem yeah also why twitter hey guys there's way better thing dude what you're getting hung up on the twitter thing dude you're on twitter looking at porn dude that's so weird there's so much porn on twitter yeah i know but you know

where there's even more porn? Porn sites. Go to a porn site, dude. The guy was just like checking what Elon Musk was saying. He was like, you know what? Alexis Texas. Maybe he's got like tabs or people he follows. You can just ease it. On Twitter?

Or in one place, yeah. I want to know what his reaction was when she looked up. Because if he was just like, what's up? I'm just checking. Yeah. Oh, yeah. On the's up i'm just checking yeah oh yeah on the thing i'm just checking my email oh like this one oh yeah uh i got emailed from work oh yeah i mean she sounds really all over into this guy but i don't know yeah oh yeah just check an email from work oh man both of you oh yeah not a work email bukkake dude that was funny um so yeah it's it's kind of weird i mean maybe that also maybe that's his

kink maybe he's like yeah i like being distracted but he should say that no well of course of course of course so i feel like uh bring it up for sure bring it up oh also if it makes you feel insecure which of course it does that's yeah that's uh that's that's an interesting one but yeah just ask him about it so you're like oh what's up with that twitter also why twitter get definitely say why twitter and i am hung up on the twitter thing but definitely say why twitter though why didn't you just go to red tube or don't i don't think she cares is the point i don't think she gives a shit about this why twitter what's up why are you gonna uh yeah ask him see what's up i'm not trying to ruin your great new relationship but it sounds like he might be so ask him you got

to confirm about it no matter how uncomfortable it is you didn't do anything wrong he did so he should be the one talking about it. Yeah. Not you. Yeah. All right. Next one. What's up, guys? Love your podcast.

Thank you. I've done this like 10 times. So I'm just going to record it real quick and send it in over the past. You're doing really well so far. Me and my boyfriend are moving from Baltimore to Los Angeles in July. Woo! Good move. Thank God we're getting out of here. Okay?

And my problem is that I'm a freelance photographer and I work with a few small brands here. And I just need opinions, honestly, on when to tell them. Like, no one really knows that we're moving, so I can't really ask anyone around me what they think. Because we're kind of just, like, peacing out. Okay? And I don't want it to like get around and get to those, the, the owners of these businesses.

Right. So I don't know, like I've heard someone like my boyfriend said like four months in advance. My mom said two weeks in advance. I was like, I can't do that to a small business. Like I run their whole, like I do their photos,

Instagram website, all the things so i don't know i guess i just need opinions i was thinking like a month in advance um i don't know i'm really nervous i'm an empath and i don't want to like screw them over me too dude really excited that i'm helping her and she just recently opened up like her like one man show to like let other people help and i just don't want to like screw her over so that's nice yeah i mean i just need opinions from people i don't know you gotta stop thinking that you're screwing anybody over yeah you're not people live their

lives and people other people understand that but i think that um four months is ludicrous well that's a long time yeah two mean two weeks is normal but for i understand why your situation yeah it's kind of too close yeah to the actual date not giving them time to find someone new but i would actually even up to four months out or however i don't know how much time you have before you move but there should you can even like feel it out and be like i mean my boyfriend are thinking about leaving how much time would you need if we were to go like right to not to not be fucked over way way good you know or if you just need a date that you want to just say and then be done with it i guess a month a month seems that seems fair yeah and then also maybe it's a thing you can like do and uh say yo uh i'm i'm i'm gonna

peace out in a month but then also set up some sort of way even when you're gone you can help them are you gonna suggest that fuck yeah i'm helpful dude i'm helpful dude i'm taking this shirt off take my shirt off take my shirt off my tits who was that mystical mystical yeah come on dude get some man you got culture or what i'm a man so uh i got this shirt on from row r-o-u-h it's really good actually they sent me some stuff i really like this shirt huh you know who sent me some stuff yeah that guy the guys that god bless whoever hating on me shout out to row for sending me these shirts shout out to god bless whoever i'm trying to do my thing, but you know. Why do you have two orange ones, by the way? They sent me stuff.

So why do you have two on you? Oh, because I wanted to be able to mix it up. You're barely mixing it up. I put both on at least once so far this episode. This one looked better on you. You think? This one. Why?

It's darker. It goes with your vampire complexion better. I look, I have a bad, I'm a bad color, huh? But I complexion better i look i look i have a bad i'm a bad color huh but i don't care no you're not a bad color that's better though yeah for sure yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i'm a homie so stupid so uh such a dad so um so yeah so uh yeah i say a month or something like that a month is good good. I'm going to be leaving. Why did you put yours on? Because I put mine on? Yeah. All right.

I don't know why. Dude, I fucking... Shut up, dude. I know you don't like it, but you got to give credit to where credit's due, don't you? Wow. Jeff Bezos. Dude, the thing about it is... Oh, shit, dude.

What? You suck, dude. No way. Like straight up you're a bodybuilder a bodybuilder you suck dude let's you suck the more times you raise your arms you suck even more dude that's crazy a bodybuilder lee haney lee haney you know what he does like this? Just start Lee Haney. Dude, how dumb is bodybuilding? I don't know. Let me rewind. Is it okay? Bodybuilding is not dumb at all.

I think bodybuilding is great, okay? I think it's cool to have competitions, but man, imagine that's your life dude isn't that crazy i think if you're a bodybuilder and you you get to the point where you're so big and you're looking at and you're like i really need to work on this one area right here and it's like a 10 by 10 inch section and you're just at the gym trying to work that one area i i think that you have to if you're so focused on the male physique you have to start fucking guys oh i didn't know that's where you're going i think that it has to be done usually i don't even mean in a gay way i I just think they got to be like- Like a dominance way? I got to fuck guys. But most of them, I would imagine, are driven by more like an over, a higher amount of testosterone than other men. Okay.

So that leads me to believe that that would be the opposite of true. That the men who are crazy bodybuilders are like less of that population is probably homosexual. But isn't it also the same though? Being super not gay is gay. Sure. I mean, it's just like anything else. The far ends, they all reach each other, you know? And this is basically NPR.

So we know. Right. Yeah. We have studies right at our fingertips. So I look pretty fucking chilling, chilling, right? You look all right. But don't get the hair coming out the front. Yeah, I don't mean to.

Like you're an extra in fucking Boston Public. Dude, come on with that. Are you fucking Nick Lachey? Oh my God, that's horrible. That's bad. Hey, what's up, Teach? Make it stop. Make it stop.

Skateboarding. Hey, Teach. Dude, Hollywood fucked up not using me for stuff. I mean, my shit is fantastic, for real. What? I mean, just a funny, good actor okay okay yeah it sounds good sounds good man uh imagine me in a movie just being super funny okay i'm that funny all right all right all right all right who's next who do we got all right

so close hey chris hey matt i've been a big fan uh hey i'll get right to the point my wife can never decide where she wants to eat oh that's breakfast lunch dinner uh i'll ask hey what are you in the mood for she'll say i don I don't know, you pick. Uh, and then I will make a million suggestions. She'll turn down every single one, but she won't ever make a suggestion. Um, to the point where we're both starving, we're both angry at each other that we haven't eaten. Um, so most of the time I'll just think of something and I'll go out and grab it and hopefully she'll eat it. Uh, but any advice that I can get from you guys to encourage her to make a decision, um,

any way I can approach it so that she can make the decision on her own because, uh, I'm sick of this back and forth. Appreciate it guys. No, I dude, congratulations.

You're married to every woman. Yeah. You're, you're, you're in a relationship with a woman. Unreal. That's what you're doing. So it'd be best for you to just accept it because it's never going to change.

Go pick up the food. Bring it home. That's dinner. Yeah. Don't ask. Because it's just like- No, no. You do ask.

Yeah, but- Because you're a nice person. You don't just like get the dinner and drop it on the table and say, that's what's for dinner. Hey! Because that- This is what you're eating. That's even rude.

That's just like rude. I mean, you're not throwing it at her. But a woman, or a man for that matter, isn't going to like that. They're like, didn't you want to ask me what I wanted? You got to ask. Some women. You got to ask and then accept the fact that they're not going to have an idea. Then you can put forth your idea.

Think about it this way. It's better for you anyway. You get to fucking pick. Such a waste of time. you don't really get to pick what do you mean don't dude dude kristen and i do this all the time what do you want to i say what do you want to order she says i you know i don't really care you can get whatever get whatever sushi i can't because okay you want to get the uh the place trattoria del sol i love that place you got that last time okay um dialogue well i'm not in the mood for breakfast food okay so and here we are dude and it's like okay well then you make a suggestion and then it's this for an hour and a half

like looking at yelp and shit or postmates or what you know and it's like and she's like let's get and then she'll just be like let's get you know fries electronics and i'm like this is not even they don't even have food like it's just so far off gonna get a playstation eating wires eating that ufo that's fucking crashed into the burbank one oh wow you don't talk about totally know that yeah wow that's so tacky that was for us, man. Okay, so. I'm going to have that when I build my new house. I'm going to have that in my new house. So the advice for you is realize that you are a heterosexual man on earth and deal with it.

That's it. You're married to every woman, dude. I'm every woman. I don't know what I want to eat. Wow. You make suggestions and I don't want them. Ooh, roo. You ask me what I want.

Roo, roo. And then I keep on scrolling. I am every woman. Wow, so bad. Screaming. Just absolutely screaming at the top of your lungs. Roo, I don't want sushi. Roo, roo.

Who's roo? The fuck is a roo? I don't want dialogue rue who's rue the fuck is the dialogue rue rue just pick me up some mcdonald's even though it gives you cancer dude my wife is like nah i don't want that she'll go to a whole nother app she'll like start using doordash like who even uses that what's your times i do though because it's the only one that has cheesecake back yeah what's your problem with doordash dude you've had a long running problem on this podcast talking shit about doordash it's fine well i actually it's the same actually just different places it's the same they're just people who pick up food and bring it to you i use it oh okay then shut the fuck up about it

i'm making jokes oh okay well now you got real about it i use it with the i get the the miso salmon oh dude if you don I get the miso salmon. Oh, dude, if you don't get the miso salmon from Cheesecake Factory, you ain't nothing, man. For real. Wow. Okay. It's so good. But I don't like it when they deliver it because they don't give you enough fucking miso, man. So what do you do when they bring to you in the restaurant?

They give me enough miso. Oh, oh. You don't have to ask for more miso? No, it's all good. So what happens? So then when they deliver it, they put it in the little cups that they have. They don't want it ask for more miso no it's all good so what happens so then when they deliver it they put it in the little cups that they have they don't want to think it's soggy no no well that's fine but put give me another cup of miso do it or just have a bigger cup when

they don't bring enough i'll tell you what me so angry wow dude okay i'm every woman. Screaming. Ha, ha, ha. All right. What's up next? Huh? Huh? She called in already. Yeah, we know. My name is Amara. I'm a huge fan.

I said that. She was kidnapped. But I wanted to give an update. Two days after I sent the video in where he said I was ugly as fuck. I mean, no. I didn't say that. I apologized. Oh. you know he said i was ugly as fuck yeah i mean i didn't say that i might as well apologized two days after i sent it in not after you guys put it out there he randomly brought it up i was like remember the other day when i said whatever don't know why i fucking said that i'm so sorry

i love you you're so hot blah blah blah oh yeah so i just wanted to give an update that he's not an asshole he's not a terrible person. And he realized, I don't know if he said that because he has some sort of insecurity where he thinks if he says that to me, it's going to mean something. I don't know. Oh, interesting. I just wanted to let you guys know he apologized. And cool. And thank you guys for your input.

It was really cool. Love you both. Awesome work. Here's the shit. You know what's interesting is Cut her off by mistake so rude So you know what's interesting is Chris Munko was back there He was like this man that's enough

And clicked it Dude I think that It actually like To think about I grew up in LA kind of You know I know we're from dirty Dirty Jersey I was 12 right So I grew up in L.A. kind of. I know we're from dirty, dirty Jersey. But I was 12, right?

And yeah, I've got my Jersey roots in me. You know what I mean? You were 12? So I was eight or nine? Wow. Okay. Yeah. And yeah, I've got my East Coast roots.

I mean, my heart bleeds for New York and all that shit. But it's just like my soul is at home. Shut the fuck up. Okay. All right. Now go. Anywhere close to New Jersey, my soul is at home. But in L.A., I kind of was East Coast born, West Coast raised.

That's what I like to say. So me and Tupac have a lot in common. So I feel like- I just keep wondering if your story is going to start. No, but the streets from- Only context. Only context. He was born.

Baltimore? And then he went to do a lot of stuff in Oakland. Who? Tupac. Okay. Who gives a shit? Who in Oakland. Who? Tupac. Okay, who gives a shit? Who the fucking fuck cares? Tell your story. Okay, so we have a lot in common.

So in L.A., it's a different ballgame. Hi, how you doing? I'm a different ballgame. Welcome to L.A., right? When you get there. All right. You grow up. You're raised in L.A.

The chicks in L.A la they're not used to this oh let me get the door for you they're not used to this wow don't you look ravishing they're not used to that stuff ravishing no one in the 21st century is used to that but i'm making a point right i guess the point is what they don't do is there's not a lot of conflict in la shit is if you see you can see the illest shit not is if you see you can see the illest shit not even talk about women you can see the illest shit on the west coast the way to respond to the illest shit is like this that's cool that sucks though it does suck yeah okay yeah we're in agreement yeah on the east coast people are more likely like wow this is amazing this is that that

right but on this relaxed kind of so i I grew up in – raised, right? Like Tupac, like in the West. And so the women in LA are used to this vibe of, yo, we want the dudes that don't give a fuck, right? So it's more attractive to a lot of these women to not open their door don't agree with that now let me tell you why though okay let me tell you you figure out too close to my face okay but let me tell you why though because then they're like why didn't he do that for me he doesn't like me and that leads to i need to make sure this guy likes me and now you're the one being chased but that's not the same thing as her liking yes i figured it out that's not the same as

that's not the same as her liking it more that's the same as manipulating someone into liking you for a fucking false reason that's not the same thing at all i used to do that they want opening a door for someone is fucking just polite you're right you're right and i think that that is what you should do you should do. You should do that. However, there's this fucking wavelength and vibe that you're going to get more chicks if you do it that way. And that's something that's not foreign to a lot of dudes. And what I'm saying is when you're in that culture and you grow up in that culture, it's hard to look at somebody and say, you look very beautiful because that's not how you

grew up so i'm saying if maybe this guy is like that i don't know but it's hard for a lot of men to look at women and be like you know you're your woman their own long-term partner it's hard for them to look at them and say hey you're really pretty yes and i'm saying yes yes yes it's an insecurity the lowest bar ever you know i mean i'm but i'm saying though that's how it is like i look at my wife i do that and i've done that my life with with women but like it every now and then i'm i i i think about that and that is true you grow up you know and i grew up on the dirty dirty streets of jersey right yeah and then i moved out here to la and it's bang bang city right you know i'm locking you out but yeah i don't keep my thing on me yeah i've got a fucking trunk of barry manilow's but i don't use it okay what's that um i heard in a rap song i think it's guns oh you don't even know what it is that you have in your

own trunk i don't have guns in my trunk okay okay um yeah so so you but there's but real quick what you're saying is that guy has a hard time saying his girlfriend is pretty maybe it's not necessary that he has a hard time saying his girlfriend is pretty he has been he could have been grown up in the culture to where it's like yeah don't admit your feelings be cool be the one who's chased like this is all stuff that i identify with and like i had to fight all right loser i'm not a loser anymore i was a loser and i wasn't really a loser but my point is loser i just i'm just trying to look at all of the things that's what i do okay well i'm looking at the thing that it's super fucking easy to tell your girlfriend that she's pretty.

Even honestly, even if you don't think so right then, it's still really easy. He obviously thinks his girlfriend's pretty. Well, obviously he said so as himself. So he did good. He was two days later. He's like, damn, I was a fucking dick. Why did I say that? He did.

Because love wins all. Wow. Love wins. Okay. Love wins, guys. fucking dick why did i say that he did so because love wins all wow love wins okay love wins guys they say that a lot for gays but i i think everyone for everyone love wins even for heterosexuals is that associated with like love wins is a gay thing it is yep it's like well we love you can't not let us marry we love each other even though love is gonna i have a penis and you can't stop us right okay it's a gay thing but i don't think it's a gay thing. I think it's a universal thing. Heterosexual, gays, and all the other ones.

Wow. Okay. Okay. Next one? Good for you. Yeah. What up, Chris and Matt? So handsome. Chris, I came and saw you in Lakeland, Florida. I was one of two black people at that show. Danny Love was the other one. My question

is about work. So i'm i'm two minds about everything on the one hand i think i should be grinding i'm 26 years old i don't have a hard job i'm working almost every day um but i'm also of the mindset of like you know i should be enjoying my youth i should be having more days off i should be going traveling stuff like that um so i don't really know i'm single i don't you know have any uh major commitments right now that i have to be off of work but should i just be taking days off just for me or what's up with that so let me know pimp pimping life ripping booyah, and booyah. Yeah, dude. Hell yeah, dude. I think he's still young, obviously. I think that when you're young and single, there's like this societal pressure to be like, you got to get it out of your system.

You got to do this. You got to do that. Squirt everywhere. But here's the thing. That's only true if you want to do those things. Yup. Other people saying that what you're supposed to do is not a sufficient reason for you to do it yeah if you want to travel and be single and just try to meet women around the

fucking world whatever then do that because you're right you you can you're not tied down anything you can get days off from work uh but if you don't want to if you just want to stack paper and chill until you meet someone you really love in your area or whatever, then do that. Don't at all subscribe to someone else's, especially like some nameless, vague group of people's idea of what one should do at your stage in life. You're saying QAnon. What? You're saying QAnon. No, I didn't say that.

QAnon always says that you need to go live your youth and go around the world and the world and travel i'm kidding yeah no um no i i feel like our core tenants yeah um yeah stop yeah stop child trafficking also go travel a lot so so your wild oats. I feel like, yeah, dude. This stuff actually never made sense to me. If you want to do travel, go travel. If you want to work hard, he said his job's not hard. What do you want in life? Do you want to be on the path of where you are? Do you want to be in the profession you're working in?

If you do, do you want to be successful? Do you have a goal? Do you know what you want? Do that. If you don't necessarily know what you want yet, maybe travel and live your youth a little bit. You know? Yeah.

Yeah. My sense is that he does like his job. He's just saying it's easy. He didn't say my job sucks or anything. Yeah's saying it's easy he didn't say my job sucks yeah yeah no he didn't say that um but yeah i don't know i i get what you're saying being of two minds when you're at a certain part stage in your life when people tend to think that you're supposed to act this way or that way right but honestly all that getting older has afforded me is the knowledge that that is just fucking bullshit and the more

i remember anytime i think of a time in my life where i listened to like the sort of like vague majority idea of what i was supposed to do at a certain time or situation yeah those are the only situations i regret if i regret anything that's always what it is so don't do that do what you want to do yeah if you want to travel then fucking travel but don't do it. Do what you want to do. Yeah. If you want to travel, then fucking travel. But don't do it just because you're young and single and have no big commitments. You're not necessarily going to regret that later in life, which was what his implication was. Yeah. You know?

Yeah. True. Good point. All right. Next one. Phil. What up, Chris and Matt? Big fan.

So I am in the Army army and i live in barracks barracks are basically like college dorms except minor way shittier so my situation is i have a suite mate who lives next door that i have to share a bathroom with one thing that he always does is no exaggeration this noise like multiple times a day he does it in the shower when he's on the shitter and i hear him doing it when he's in his room i mean uh i've only had one interaction with this guy previously where we both discussed keeping the bathroom clean. And he doesn't do it. If I don't clean it, it doesn't get done.

So let me know what I should do, how I should approach this. Up until this point, basically all I've been doing is every time he's in the bathroom going, I hit him back with a louder. That's a good thing to do. It brings joy to my life. Wow. Kind of being a dick like that but yeah let me know I mean that's 100% what you would recommend so you don't even need to participate do it so hard that you throw up

just fucking I used to I had a roommate in college my sophomore year no you didn't because you didn't make it to sophomore year who would hock so many fucking loogies that he would I had a roommate in college my sophomore year. No, you didn't because you didn't make it to sophomore year. I did, right. Who would hawk so many fucking loogies that he would have Kleenex on him at all times and just spit his loogie into the Kleenex and put it down where he was. Oh, come on.

Yep. I know who. No, you don't. Oh. No, you don't. Wow. Yeah. no i don't no you don't oh no you don't um wow yeah and uh so i have have had some experience with disgusting roommates and suitemates but i would say the hawking thing it's probably like a

health reason well ask him what the fuck's going on what i'm saying is he's not just doing it for recreation maybe he's got some situation where he needs to be doing that get it figured out dirty bathroom thing no no you got to confront him about that get it figured out the dirty bathroom thing though no you got to confront him about that yeah you're in the army dude you're a fucking tough guy shit in the corner of the bathroom and when he brings it up be like oh i thought that's what we're doing shit on his pillow on his bed okay well and i get you know dishonorable discharge yeah but then you can just say well this guy's always going what'd you get thrown out of the arm for my shit on my roommate's pillow my suite mate's pillow why'd you shit in the suite well, this guy's always going, ugh, ugh, ugh. What'd you get thrown out of the army for? My shit on my roommate's pillow. My suite mate's pillow.

Why'd you shit on your suite mate's pillow? Because he went, ugh, ugh, ugh. Exactly, yeah. So it's all you. Reinstated. Give him his medal. I mean, that sucks, but you can't do anything about it.

Ugh, ugh, ugh. You can't do something. Maybe you can't. Maybe, but you could be like, yo, dude, is everything okay? Like with your- That's, yeah, sure. That would work, yeah.

Because maybe he could go to the, you know, whoever the, I don't know what a doctor is. The CO? Oh. The CO, yeah. That would work. Yeah. Because maybe he could go to whoever the, I don't know what a doctor is. The CO? Oh. The CO, yeah. CO. Commanding officer.

You're talking about going to a medic. Yeah, but when you say CO, I think of that Tupac song. It goes, hey, CO, turn the fucking lights out. Okay. Well, you're talking about Tupac too much, you think? I don't know. Yeah. Well, I do know you do.

Okay. Well, I want to listen to that song again. I don't know that well i do know you do okay well uh i gotta i want to listen to that song again that's i don't know that what song is it it's it was on um are you still down the album oh damn damn i don't even remember that album i came out posthumously posthumously whatever that word is that's the right way to say it yeah so i think that um i think that that's a also you don't you've only had one conversation with your sweet man i guess i don't know how it is in the army or whatever weird but like the military he said but um is that normal that doesn't sound normal maybe one conversation with someone you share a

living space with no that doesn't sound seems weird, but he did say that. Yeah, maybe there's some instant animosity between them. Maybe he's doing that to piss him off. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Ask him about it. Or start doing your own thing that is just as loud and disgusting when he's living in peace in his own home, in his own space, right? Drink a lot of chocolate milk and just go up to the door and fart or or drink a lot of chocolate milk and make yourself throw up and when you walk by him

you know chocolate oh my god i'm so sorry you know i used to drink chocolate milk so much in high school i would drink it at lunch no chocolate milk not you who you who is so good but you is chocolate yeah but it wasn't chocolate. That's a little watered down. Chocolate milk. I'm talking about milk with chocolate in it. It was like, you know, Altadena chocolate milk. Oh, like the mini carton thing?

Yeah, and you drink. I would drink it by fifth period, man. Yeah? I don't like where this is going. All over Rob Kane. He sat behind me. Rob Kane. Wow, wow.

Just farting, dude. Just straight up. And just not giving a fuck because there's so many people around. Guess what? It's not me. Rob Kane. Wow, wow. Yeah, dude, just farting, dude. Just straight up and just not giving a fuck because there's so many people around you. Guess what? It's not me. Yeah. Yeah, well, you can fart in a big group of people. You're always going to be okay.

This is when I fart, I go like this. Yeah. Oh, that's so bad. Yo, yo, yo. Here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or if you're really aggressive and the first one to notice it the smelted delta thing isn't you can blow past that what do you mean like you know smelted

it's a lie smelted delta people stand by that and they'll be like oh smelted you must have done it no if you bulldoze through that shit hard and you're just like oh come on me come on but you smelt it first you can both does it no like i'm saying oh yeah i don't know i you smell the first oh maybe it was me you don't smell that maybe it was me i see you turn it on turn it around on him yeah yeah uh i think uh honestly smelt it out that is a lie i've always thought smelt it thought that was a lie and i i never subscribed to that and if i smelled it fared a fart first, I would say, yo, that's somebody, not me. What do you mean it's a lie? And if it was me, I'd say it's a lie.

What does that mean? It is a lie. What if someone says it and they're not lying? The notion of smelted, dealt it. It's a fallacy? Whomever smelted, dealt it is a lie. You're saying it's a fallacy. It's not a lie.

You're lying. If you say, hey, oh, dude oh dude it has happened he smelted he dealt it that's a lie but it has happened you're saying yeah but it's a lie it's like people say the devil is a lie rick ross said that okay stop that's rick ross it's not i didn't say it was too popular never had a song okay all right just bring up rappers after everything you say you know but smelted dealt it is something people have done before it's cool to say smelt it dealt it is a lie oh okay and and i'm and i didn't realize how cool it was until after i said it a bunch and now i'm like i stand by that dude okay all right well the devil is the way to say that is that it's a fallacy not a lie but okay do you think smelt it dealt it saying is more often true or more often false false well i know i know what you think it's a lie uh i bet it's about half

and half hold on because i bet a lot of people who i bet a lot of people are like the way to get out of this is to pretend i'm smelling it hold on because then that makes me seem innocent here's why that's where the whole expression comes from. That's why it's not a lie. Here's why smelted Delta falls on its face. Okay? Why would you admit that you smell a fart if it's you first? Were you fucking born yesterday?

It's so you can throw people off? It's so that you're... Because exactly what you said. Who would ever do this no one would ever out themselves out out of fart that they did themselves so of course it's not them everyone knows that so that people are going to be the one who volunteer that's where it's not the doubt that came up yeah obviously that's a lie no dude we just figured it out and you agreed you're saying half more than

half the people who go oh someone for it no no i said half and half of the time when someone is accused of smelted delta is is all right and or and wrong i guess 50 50 yeah oh that's so weird to even get in the weeds like that about it yes and i answered him it's weird he asked that okay okay do you when you fart i don't fart okay if you were to okay what percentage of the time would you be like oh someone farted oh that's a good question um me 30 percent i'll put it this way only if it was like noticeable oh someone farted yeah yeah that's good you would probably be like it's me sometimes no no oh so a lot of big percentage see i go like this sometimes 70 of the time 30 i go oh come on david so then it's not a doubt that isn't a lie 70 of the time i'm truthful but if you say something's

a lie that means 100 of the time it's false you're admitting right now that it's 30 of the time correct when you do it you're doing it in a way where you're being obvious that you're doing this like that it's you you know what i'm saying probably mostly oh i see what you're saying mostly he's saying oh david you farted you know and it's david's not even there yeah he's like across the room yeah hello dude you farted the chances are though that david farted in some talk about the capacity in the in recent memory yeah why and i'll tell you why because he eats everything dude david sullivan was over eat a fucking battery if it looked like a twinkie if it had sauce on it yeah exactly dude

he came over last night he came over last night and he was like he came over from dinner and i ordered and he ate it he ate your food i ordered him something and he was like ah it's got cheese on it man i can't eat that he can't eat cheese since when so talk about smell the delta but he has a cheese he eats the cheese and then later on and and then later on i looked and there was like so much missing out of the pasta i can't eat cheese he's like oh man and then how is he not so fat i don't know i asked him that the other day what he said our friend david sullivan who's in all my vlogs go look he's been on this show, hasn't he? Oh, yeah.

He has been on this show, on the live show. He's so... I don't know how he's not like... Because he's so fat. He's the kind of... He's like an almost fat guy. He's perpetually almost fat. Like always almost fat. You know what I'm talking about?

So dick. Where he's like about to be fat at all times, but he's never fat. Like his button's almost about to go. Yeah, and he's got like a wide, his like hips are wide on the top of his legs. No. Not like falling over. Oh, wow. So dick.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. He's not that fat. He's not that fat. Yeah, no, he's not fat. He's almost fat. All right. That's what I just said.

I'm not even close to it. No, you're not. You have been in your life, but not right now. What? That's not true. All right. Is that the last one what are we doing that's it yeah sure okay hey matt hey chris so i have a really dramatic neighbor who's sending these long ranty very angry text messages about our dog that voice is identical to ben shapiro dude she said it over hey matt hey chris so i have a really dramatic neighbor who's sending these long ranty very She's identical to Ben Shapiro, dude. She said it over.

Hey, Matt. Hey, Chris. So I have a really dramatic neighbor who's sending these long, ranty, very angry text messages about the noises of our dog, Emma. Here's Emma. She says things like, and I quote, Your dog won't stop barking and the entire building can hear it and it's very loud. She's right at the door doing it, so it's extremely loud, not just for me, but for everyone. She also said, and I quote,

I hear you guys clear as day all day. Footsteps, the dog howling, barking. I can hear it all clear as day 24-7. Now, we know this neighbor doesn't have any actual leverage to get us kicked out of the apartment because we asked every other neighbor. I can't believe it. And we set up a camera, and we can see that Emma barks for about 10 to 20 minutes each day after we leave the house for work, and then she stops for the rest of the day until we return home. Now, we're still working to reduce this barking because clearly there's some separation anxiety there and we found some success already, but this neighbor continues to send us

dramatic text messages, asking us to implement inhumane strategies like shock collars or spray collars or locking Emma into a small room at the other end of the apartment. That's not above this neighbor. Is there anything we can say to this neighbor to encourage her to look inward and consider her own sensitivity to neighbor noises no right back at the end he says and these are the people that are running this world and these are people that are in your government and joe biden is yeah a doddering fool uh so so uh just always respond with the same thing always respond with the same thing there's nothing your neighbors can do there's no recourse they can take all you should ever do and you should do this every single time is respond with lol and that and that is it they might they can

respond more it doesn't matter you don't write it again every time they have a new complaint you just type back lol dude that's it it's so weird it's so weird that people are just so terrible man like if the dog like take it up with the building manager at that point it's not even i think what happened is the person probably did take it up with the building manager but was told there's nothing we can do. Well, good. I know. But they're going to keep pounding the residents who own the dog because that's their only recourse, which is why you should just write LOL. They're just obviously super woke people

that don't like Ben Shapiro. Yeah, they just don't like you. They're obviously, you know, lip-truck. No, they think he is Ben Shapiro. Yeah. Yeah, because they've heard him and his voice they think he is Ben Shapiro. Yeah. Yeah, because they've heard him, and his voice is exactly identical to Ben Shapiro's voice. Yeah, right back to LOL.

Yeah, that's a good advice, man. I mean, that's so dumb that they do that. Yeah. Here's the thing. You can't spend too much time or energy, time and energy, thinking about just true dyed-in-the-wool, through-and-through assholes. And that's what that person is. And so you've got to fucking read the text and kiss it goodbye with an LOL and never think about it again. Okay, good.

Yeah, that's it. You know? All right. Well, that's it. That's the show for today. Go to ChrisLeah.com to get tickets i'll be in minneapolis milwaukee irvine oxnard and bray chrislea.com and also be in ohio if you got a question uh go to watch lifeline.com and also you can get the new merch lifeline lifeline merch.com and if you have a we want to get a

one-on-one session with matt go to matt delia.com uh and find out how it is but anyway thanks like and subscribe and also leave a comment baby pump that algo we love it thank you