Lifeline - 60. The Depths of Dumb

Episode Date: June 4, 2023

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Let's go seize the night. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamex. Benefits vary by car and other conditions apply. Would you lookie, lookie there? Would you lookie, looky there? Would you looky, looky there, dude? I would looky, looky there, and I did looky, looky there, you know. I've had so much mucus the past few days.

I don't... Boo! Boo! It's just crazy, dude. It's like, enough's enough, mucus. Hey, come on, chest. Let's get it going. The worst bit.

The worst bit. It's not even a bit, dude. It's just like crazy. I know, but I'm saying, like, if it on chess let's get it going the worst bit the worst bit it's not even a bit dude it's just like crazy like if it was a bit i know worst bit ever dude i look all right i know what's coming but i look all right huh you look all right yeah 43 fucking killing it whoops bleep that out you know you're 43 yeah but only for a little bit dude i lose that's one year um yeah you ever get like that like i wasn't sick i think maybe two days i was like on like under the weather ish but like not sick and then just mucus just for days and days if it involves from the neck up it's happened to me before that's how bad my decapitation sinuses oh and and whatnot you know yeah um no my sinuses my like my ear really throat had it yeah oh yeah you've had ear infections throat infections remember i mean

you know the story i know i know the stories yeah you've told it on this one too. Okay, well, relax. I'm not going to tell it again. No, no, no. You don't need to get all fucking worked up. I'm reminding you. I'm reminding you because often I tell stories two, three times on a podcast. You know, I just now, this is exactly about where you're sitting. Sorry to cut you off. It's okay.

But I just now have begun to get to the point where I'm like, oh, God, have I said this before? But the fact remains, i contain multitudes so i'm really never gonna bore anybody even if i tell the same story it's gonna be like whereas before i might have been like you know what i mean okay martin lawrence well it might be like picket a cow but i wish dude martin lawrence do we talk about martin lawrence being in a drama we did oh i knew it i knew it, pick it a cow, but then- I wish, dude. Martin Lawrence. Did we talk about Martin Lawrence being in a drama? We did. There we go. I knew it. I knew it. But you have multitudes, right?

So it's okay. I contain multitudes. So when I talk about it this time, maybe it'll be a little bit different. So what's up with you, man? I get hot. You want to talk about mucus and how you have a lot of it? I'll just be like, oh, okay. I'm 130 degrees inside.

Really? Yeah. All the time? No degrees inside really yeah all the time no no not all the time do you like to have the air on i here's why it sucks i hate having the air on but but i need it on preach your house is like a hot house you can only grow orchids inside your house dude i think that once i get once we get older you know that kristin and i are going to actually have to have different temperatures in different rooms. What's the deal? I like it 74. Okay.

True 74. I feel like you like it way hotter than that. Well, you have to put it hotter to get to 74 and have it run in there. See, this is where we disagree. Okay, keep going. She likes it 70. I mean, that's not the... It is.

Is that an unmanageable... It is. It is different. One degree is different. Well, let likes it 70. I mean, that's not the, is that an unmanageable? It is. It is different. One degree is different. Well, let's start here. She's absolutely correct to 170. I understand. That's what you think.

But one degree is a huge difference. One degree, they should do degrees a little bit less of a difference than they are. Wow, dude, that is so dumb. That is degrees. Like if you have to, that's so dumb. You have to think about it for a while. The difference... To just realize the depths of how dumb that is.

One degree difference is too much of a difference for it to be one degree. It should be... That should be two degrees. Well, you know, like... One degree should be two degrees. Half of a degree is something. You know that, right? Yeah, but not on thermostats and stuff.

Is that true? Not the new ones. Is that true? Yeah, the new ones just... They're all digital. She dreams in digital. Wow, okay. She dreams in digital.

Do I even know that? What is that? What are you doing? She dreams in digital? Yeah, what is it? It's called She Dreams in Digital. It's a song.

Well. Dude, I, you do know it, but I think that degree should be spaced out a little bit better. That's what I think. And what do you mean a half of a degree is something?

A half of anything is something. Right, exactly. So in terms of the measurement, who cares if you have to say half or a whole? I get what you're saying, though, about setting the thermostat. Yeah, exactly. Like it's not these anymore where you can do it like that. Now it's just like, oh, you plug in. It's all digital.

So it's like, yeah. Okay. But we're gray boys today. We're both wearing gray. I was wearing purple, but I got a little hot. I was going to tell you when I came in, you were dressed more normal than normal. Than you're normal. And then you took what you had off and you put on a shirt that's ripped, looks like a bobcat.

We're attacked by a bobcat. I'm glad I i changed there's holes in this one yeah yeah there's some holes in this shirt there's some holes in this shirt armpit lost your mind oh okay yeah i so i see i was at a place today boring not yet this is the beginning so we're setting it up right at a place i don't like to say specific locations because people show up. Okay. What kind of place? These are my spots.

You could describe it without giving away that it's actual. Okay. I was there and there was a really, really, really beautiful woman and a guy that was a five.

Discuss. Together? Discuss? They like each other. They love each other, probably, hopefully. Okay. Discuss. Sounds like you have stuff to say about it,

because I don't have anything to say about that. It could be money, right? I suppose it could be money. And who has the money in that situation? Well, in any situation, it's the one who is less objectively appealing. There you go. So I didn't say

it but i'm i'm sure i agree with you and so i just think that that guy was probably you know what do you think about that discuss i don't think anything about it i didn't see them it's not interesting these things happen it also happens the other way around what like mandate women who are money who have money well we don't know it's Well, we don't know it's money. What? We don't know it's money. I'm saying often I see a guy who I'm like, damn, out. I want to touch him and it sizzles.

Yeah, he's hot. And the woman's just like, whatever. And you're saying it's maybe money? No, I'm not saying that. You keep saying that. That happens way less than the opposite. That's why I'm not saying it. I mean, this is the reason. Because of this. It makes the world go round. You're'm not saying it. I mean, this is the reason. Because of this.

It makes the world go round. But you're not even saying anything. The greed makes the world go round. All you're saying is that you think that couple, that guy's rich and that's the only reason that woman's with him. That's all you're saying over and over again. He's got racks, probably. And then she's got, you know, looks.

I see it too many times the other way too, though. Like guys dating women because of what makes the world go round what makes actual loser dudes who are not even physically attractive who happen to have something about them that attracts this guy didn't i don't think i saw him and i saw the way he was moving around describe him regular looking uh doing this a lot doing this a lot falling asleep no just like not impressed oh well that'll do it sometimes asleep? No, just like not impressed. Oh, well, that'll do it sometimes when someone's like, I'm not impressed. That'll make someone insecure want to impress them. You know?

Maybe he's got like some voodoo going on. Maybe, but I didn't think so. Or some charisma. Regular body. Not good. Not good. Like, you know, didn't work out probably. Looked like he had money probably.

You're jealous. So I wouldn't say that because I have a beautiful woman and she's hotter than me and I like that. Okay. Well, then great. Okay. So it's all settled. So you basically saw yourself in that guy. Maybe.

Okay. No, no, no, no. Kristen loves me for me for 100%. You know that. Wow. Dog took a dump in here. Yeah. Dog took a dump in here. Yeah, dog took a dump in here and he cleaned it up. It's all good.

Dog's got tummy problems because dog took a dump over here too. But anyway, so my point is a lot of times women do it with guys for money, but guys don't normally usually do it with women for money. Okay. Well, why are you saying discuss when really all you wanted to do was say that over and over and over and over and over again my point is do you think that's okay discuss of course it's okay it's okay to date somebody for no matter what yeah well there you go and that's what and that's who said it matt said it listen it's june 4th you know what that means

episode 60 but you know what that means even more so sign up for lifeline luxury and it would be patreon.com slash lifeline luxury and that's what you do right now you can get that lifelong luxury and you can see the first episode of lifeline luxury which is no videos it's just us being brothers and bantering and it's uh over 30 minute episode and we're doing it at least twice a week and that's lifelong luxury that's what it is sorry twice a week. And that's Lifeline Luxury. That's what it is. Sorry, twice a month. Unbelievable. Right, right, right. So I said twice a week meant twice a month.

You can cut it out or we can just let it roll, babies. So you can do that twice a month, at least twice a month. But Lifeline Luxury, support the Patreon. It's also really cool. It keeps the show going. I'm on tour. Chrisley.com. I'll be in Tucson soon.

I'll be in Colorado soon. So go hit it up and uh if you got a question click the link in the description below or go to watch lifeline.com or leave us a message on the hotline at 213-973-8095 or if you want a one-on-one advice session with matt over here mattalia.com and uh you can make uh make advice uh sessions with or, and you can get the new Lifeline merch at lifelinemerch.com. It's the purple pimp and stuff and the hoodies and it's all good. I had some really interesting sessions. Did you?

My last day. Every once in a while, I'll have like an entirely full day from 1.30 to whatever, 6. And I'll tell you what. Yeah. It wears me down. I bet it does, dude. Giving so much of myself to the all right so that's not what i thought you were gonna say what did you think i was i thought you're gonna say it just it's the focus is hard because it is no no the focus is easy i'm impressive in that way okay so you're saying what's hard is yeah i give and i give and i give and at the end of the day

i still have a lot left because i have a lot to give but it's less so i'm all worn down i'm woozy i'm just like oh okay at six o'clock japanese so i'm woozy i'm at the end i'm like no no no that's not what i was saying but i get what you're saying but that's not what it was um so anyway saying hello saying all right rate my hair rate it though uh seven what what did you want me to say dude you really think it's a seven i mean it usually is like an eight i think today's a seven oh you think it's a seven? I mean, it usually is like an eight. I think today's a seven. Oh, you think it's worse than normal? I do. What?

I totally disagree. That's why I asked you to rate it. It looks too clean or something. You're asking the wrong guy, obviously. Rate my hair. Mako. Can you? Oh, that's a seven.

He means seven. Anytime that someone's like, can you step over? It means seven. Better than normal. Anthony, rate it. I give it a six. Oh, Jesus Christ it means seven better than normal right anthony rate it i give it a six oh jesus christ it's worse than normal yeah there you go there you go there you go i thought it was literally better let me see it make it messy dude just put your hand through it a little bit there you go better that's better yeah seven that's a 7.8 right there oh wow i won one tussle he knows his now what do you think decimal system uh it's now a six he made it worse

can't make everyone happy then that's what that's the lesson i tried and that is the lesson yeah all right cool so look let's get into it let's do the first video all right come on guys hello guys listen to every episode this is the first time i've had a good question for you so it's regarding my living situation pause it i just moved to the south props to this guy for not rushing it for just enjoying this enjoying the process enjoying the show not rushing it wants to be on the show doesn't want to give a dumb question props to this guy oh waiting it out that's what you meant having a good uh question what if the question sucks you should have waited but he thinks it's good oh we'll decide so go ahead

you're right england from scotland i'm renting a room in an elderly lady's house there's another guy who rents in there too but i stay in a room in the garden she calls it a garden room i call it a glorified shed but basically my question she doesn't believe in locking the doors which i think is kind of nice she doesn't lock her front door back door my room has no lock on it and it's on its own in the garden so i'm in two minds about it because on one hand i kind of want to ask if I can have a lock installed because sometimes I leave you know it's my room

sometimes I leave nice stuff there I don't want it stolen and on the other hand it's like good vibes hippie vibes you know until your shit gets stolen you know like you can trust people and I just don't want to ruin that vibe I don't want to ruin that vibe.

I don't know. What do you guys think? He's in Scotland? I'm in two minds. So thanks. Okay. So he's in South England. We know what Matt thinks about that.

Is there a crime in South England? You better lock the fuck up is what I think about that. I mean, it's just to me. Look, I'm American. It's so weird to think about not having a lock. But I don't think it's bad to ask you pay rent you want your stuff to be secure i get what he means though he's like i don't want to like mess with the good vibes this older woman has lived her life this way and it's like

honoring that to keep it lockless however the lockless monster will get you one day you know what i'm saying right yeah i do know what you're saying it wasn't necessarily executed so great but what i said was great i said lockless and then i slipped it right into the lock nest i know what you did it was wordplay yeah i understand that but it wasn't like it was pretty good great it was lockless monster lockless monster is going to get you you're saying so one day rob his shit sometime someday like someone will enter your thing whether it's a car house it doesn't matter if you leave it unlocked but this is in america i don't know what it's like in south england i have a pretty good idea it's naughty naughty right yeah i have a pretty good idea but just ask for a lock and say i think that's really cool but like i actually have some valuable stuff

back here can i just have a lock and then i'll not only will i remove it when i go but i will repair the door so it never looked like there was a lock on it in the first place i think it's a good thing to have the lock but um i because if you really really boil it down down lock uh vibes are nothing vibes are nothing i don't i you know what i think i would have agreed with you maybe earlier in my life, but I don't agree with you now. Okay, a good vibe. Because living with a good vibe is irreplaceable. There's nothing better than that. No, you can live with a good vibe, but a lock doesn't change that.

A vibe is what you create in your... But it's her home and it does for her is what he's saying. He's being onerous of that. Oh, he's honoring her vibe. Yes. Okay. He respects her vibe and honors her vibe and doesn't know if it's okay to throw a lock on that ass. Okay. You know? Okay. I think it's okay to ask her. If she says no, that's super weird. But I guess she does own the house. But what Matt said is you'll take care of it when you leave. But you got valuable stuff there, right? I mean, look probably got you know certain things that you don't want to get ticket

and now especially since you've been on this uh podcast people saw your face and they're gonna see like oh that's that guy they're gonna follow you home and steal your shit so they're gonna kill the old woman they're gonna kill the other guy that stays there with everyone and they're gonna kill you and take all your valuables there you go right so i would say get a lock but i'm american i don't know uh get an alarm system get a lock but i'm american dude i don't know uh get an alarm system get a trip wire dude get one of those things in that movie entrapment where we're uh katherine zeta jones how crazy is that that everyone knows that moment from a movie no one saw that's actually so weird you know why you know why if you bring up katherine jones or

entrapment all anyone that will ever remember or think of is her butt missing the red laser. You know why? Because it was in the trailer and the trailer was everywhere. But do you know why even more? Because that ass is featured. Do you know why even more? More than that? Yeah.

No, I don't know why. Because that was Catherine Zeta-Jones' moment in time. That was her moment where everyone was like this. That's so weird, dude. Times are so different. That movie is so corny. in time that was her moment where everyone was like dude times are so different i know i know so like i know corny that was when katherine zeta jones i don't even think the movie did that well but before that she was in zaro right i think then this was her holy shit she's gonna be a movie star

thing how weird is it that that was ever that things were ever like that that's just not how it is anymore for actors or Or movies for that matter. I'm not even saying it was better even though it was. This is neither better or worse though. This is just so different. Everything is so crazy, man. It's so boring. Everything's so crazy, man.

No, but I mean like you do like even stand-up. It used to be about getting an hour special and now you just want to have a fucking 30-second clip go viral. Like what the fuck?up, it used to be about getting an hour special, and now you just want to have a fucking 30-second clip go viral. Like what the fuck? Dude, it sucks. And I post shit that like, you know, isn't in my act.

Like it's just like stuff that happens off the cuff moments that I'm not going to put in my special or whatever. And sometimes people are like, yeah, this is awesome. And it's like just suck. To me, I'm like it just happened. It's like so easy to do. But it's just a promo for people to come see my show. It's easy for you to do because you're a comedian.

It's like Rafa Nadal being like, I don't know why everybody's so obsessed with the way I hit a tennis ball. It's just like, I'm just like, whatever. It's just like, yeah, because you're the best, you know? Yeah, thank you very much. But I feel like. No, no, no, no. He's better at tennis than you are at comedy. Don't get.

I don't know, man. But also, crowd work is a lot easier than people think. That's what I'm saying. Okay. Sounds like you're kind of taking the conversation and you're just ripping it right towards you. You know what I mean? Crafting a great bit is harder than material. Okay, obviously.

And I can do both. I mean, sorry. Crafting a great bit is harder than crowd work. And I can both i mean sorry crafting a great bit is harder than crowd work and i can do both okay okay okay about kurt cobain right the guy though culturally i can't speak to south england even though i think there's devious people waiting behind every bush to do naughty naughty things to you but that's just my opinion maybe it's safe but if it's at all like an area that is normal, which means that sometimes there's crime just a little bit,

get a lock. Right, right. Or ask. Ask. Then if she says no, get a lock. No, you know what you should do? Because I'm sure legally you have to allow your tenant to put a lock on the door anywhere in the first world country.

Yeah, for sure. You should say, can I get a lock? If she says no, then without asking her, hire a security guard and have him in the first world country. Yeah, for sure. You should get it, say, can I get a lock? If she says no, then without asking her, hire a security guard and have him sit outside of your door and have her be like,

when she's like, what the hell is going on? Why do you have a fucking guy outside? Be like, because I had to hire a security guard because you want

them to have a lock. Right. And then when she says, we can't do that, you say, security, escort her off the premises, please. Yeah.

Or you could do that yep it's the next one it's way more expensive but all right next one hey chris hey matt just uh following up from last week's video oh yeah uh thanks for the advice you guys remember what it was what was it he oops oh wow dude ch you know, fucking went all the way back to his first homepage on a website that doesn't even exist anymore. I mean, dude. So far back.

No, I skipped ahead. Alright, so let's go. What was it? This is the guy who, his co-worker with Down Syndrome got his phone number and then was like asking me. Oh, hell yeah, dude. How'd it go? Did he take our advice? Hey, Chris. Hey, Matt.

Just following up from last week's video. Thanks for the advice. You guys were funny and right. Matt, you were correct. I shouldn't have overthought it. I asked him to just stop, please, and he said sorry, didn't mean to, so we're all good. And in my mind, Chris, could always start a family, so we'll see uh i'll see

you in hamilton in october yeah don't stay the night it's not safe and to your viewers uh send more follow-ups we're all on this journey together i want to see what happens with everyone that's a good idea love you that's a good idea he's he's right we do like follow-ups i do like getting new stuff and fresh faces but we do like follow-ups especially I do like getting new stuff and fresh faces, but we do like follow-ups, especially with interesting ones. I'm not surprised the advice I gave worked, but what was his query and what was my response? But also, before we even get into that, what was he saying about how he might want to start a family one day? What did he say?

Oh, he said that to me. I don't know. But what was the... Remind me. I bet it'll come to us. He said, I have a guy who's got Down syndrome that keeps texting me every time. I gave him... He got my number.

Oh, right. Of course. Of course. And you said, just ask him not to. Yeah, right, right, right. Which was, I guess i guess good advice but i had good advice too and he didn't take him we don't know if it would have worked even better yeah i still don't know what the family thing was that he was i don't know either but it's okay we can go back and look but it's just uh yeah good i'm glad our advice works and we're out here changing lives i mean it was my

advice but yeah sure together we came to it together you probably wouldn't have came up with your advice if it wasn't for what i said you know what people say a lot in the private sessions well they say what's it like with chris doing this because you give such good advice and your brother is funny okay well that's so that's not necessarily true and people will i mean i am funny thank you but people will say whatever they say just to – because they have you there and they want to compliment you. If I was on the Zoom, they would – it would be also – if I was on a Zoom with them, they would compliment me and be like – say things that I was smart too. All right. Do you guys think I'm smart?

They'd be like, yeah. So you're saying if you said, do you guys think I'm smart they'd be like yeah if you so you're saying if you said do you guys think i'm smart they would say yeah that's true basically of anybody because nobody wants to be rude to somebody they don't really know that well a lot of people are rude to me they don't even really know me at all yeah yeah yeah anyway but uh yeah so that's good so good great we helped them we helped them and not only that we helped the other guy we helped the other guy too right boundaries we got to set boundaries. Boundaries are good.

Boundaries are good, everybody. Yeah, dude. Let's see the next one. So Matt, what's up, Chris? This is your boy Nick up in NorCal. I'm so much coke. Before I get to my question, I wanted to say, Matt, the funniest moment of Matt D'Elia is confused was the end of episode two, Sexually Transmitted Demons,

when the last thing the guy says at the very end of the interview is, what are you going to do with this? And then the episode just ends. And Chris, the funniest moment of congratulations was when you went to Michael Caine's website, and you went to his photos page, and there were only two photos. Man.

Even I know that one. Love you guys. You're the shit. And my question is about hair so i think i got a pretty good head of hair but i get bored with it just like girls do i want to change it up do something different so what do you guys think about guys dying their hair oh lighter darker love it uh and not just dying it but like highlights balage, all that fancy stuff. Usually those girls do. I'm 41. I'm an entertainer.

I play piano and sing in wineries and hotels in the wine country here where I'm at. So yeah, I feel like Chris is going to say that's a no-go. But I'm hoping for some support from Matt maybe. I know what the answer is. You guys dying their hair and highlighting it. I know what the answer is too. What do you guys think? Blonde. Blonde.

Blonde. Be hyper blonde. Yeah. Like as blonde as the blonde parts of this table here. Here's what I think about dying your hair as a man. To the root. Not like any of the tips. Sorry, go ahead.

No, it's okay. If you're going to dye your hair, you have to dye it hardcore one way. Agree. You can't dye it because you want it to be more the color you have totally yeah it has to be like i'm talking about you want to do pink do pink but like there there can be no trick involved is my thing like i've never dyed my hair once you mean no you're not trying to fool anybody yes yeah yeah yeah you can dye your hair any color you want just not don't act like oh yeah no this is my hair all right so like okay that and that's it that's it you mean people need to

see your hair and know that you die yes yeah exactly what i mean yeah i agree i agree uh note but also on that frosted tips are an absolute no-go yeah tips are an absolute no-go. Highlights are an absolute no-go. Yeah, no. Dye your entire head of hair. Blanket it with a color. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it ultra blonde. I think you'll look terrible.

I don't care what anyone says or thinks. I'm going to have it, and I'm going to have the dangly earring, and I'm going to have even more holes in my shirt when I do it, and everyone's going to be chasing me down the streets and i'm going to be like no no no no no please back away i know you're all beautiful women and whatever okay mostly it's gonna be mostly beautiful women doing it and where do you live that there's mostly beautiful uh la wherever i go yeah no i don't know about that anyway the point is people will be chasing me trying to see the style up close i don't really find that and women run after people. And I'll be like, I want my space.

I want my space. I want my space. You ever seen a beautiful woman run after someone? I don't think I've ever seen it. Remember when the guy, when our friend was like, I mean, she wants me to chase after her and I'm just not the kind of guy who would chase after her. And then 10 minutes later, he was like, where are you going? Where are you going?

Bro. Couldn't remember that more clearly. I couldn't remember more clearly either. It's so bitchy. And it was so fucking, it was on Hollywood Boulevard, you know, so so bitchy he was like weaving between cars yep he was like i'm not gonna run after that girl she wants me to then literally and literally ran a couple minutes later he is running after her loved it in my head it's a cut too yeah my memory me too yeah yeah but whatever it wasn't so i think that yeah zero dye hair, unless you know that it's dyed.

I would dye my hair. I've never dyed my hair. I would dye my hair if it was obvious that I dyed my hair. I don't want to, like, my beard's gray. I don't want to, I want this. There's a few grays coming in here. I don't like that it's different colors. I want it to be the same color, but I'm not going to dye it.

That's just not who I am. You don't think a little bit of salt and pepper in your hair looks cool? No, no, no. You misunderstood me, or I said it wrong. I want it to be all the same color but i'm not gonna dye it that's just not who i am you don't think a little bit of salt and pepper in your hair looks cool no no you misunderstood me or i said it wrong i want it to be all the same color meaning there is salt and pepper here and not here i want salt and pepper here oh oh yeah salt and pepper to you is the same color yes yeah i see what you're saying the same as beard as to hair is what i got it got it got it yeah so i guess that wasn't right what i was saying but you know what what I mean now. Okay. I do now, yeah. All right, let's do another one then. My contacts are blurry. Great.

Blonde. Go hyper blonde. Hey, Chris and Matt. My name is Livvy. I'm from Kansas City, and I'm having a problem with someone at the gym. Uh-oh. It's happened like multiple times. It's a worker, and I think that she thinks that I'm somebody else.

Oh. And I'm not trying to be mean or anything. Uh, every time she like, so I'll talk to her, but every time she talks to me, she's venting about something about her life or telling me something about her life. Doesn't ask me about anything about me. Um, and I'm just going there to just work out and i have like a limited amount of time and leave yeah so how do i not talk to her with like out being mean thanks i'd love any advice well wait it's really interesting to me okay that people call in with stuff like that why because those kinds of things not only do i feel like i always know what to do in those situations,

but I like doing it. So what, what do you like doing? I would say something like, I'm sorry, do we know each other? Yeah, you would.

In like a serious way though, not like in a sarcastic. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Gotcha. Like, because I,

I don't remember you at all. Right. Right. Right. And you seem to, it seems like the way you're talking to me that we know each other. Right. And then, it's not even about getting a hint.

It's just like that solves the problem. Right, but what if she said, oh, no, but I just see you at the gym here and I, you know. Oh, oh, then you just say, yeah, I only have almost exactly what she said. Got it, okay. I only have a limited amount of time. I don't really have the time to talk here. You would do that? Oh, 100%.

Okay, okay. Yeah. Yeah. What would I do if somebody came up to me and kept talking? I probably would like it and write it out. Yeah, well, you would become friends with that person. But yeah, yeah. Invite them over to Thanksgiving dinner, you know?

So really weird, though. Well, so she started by saying she thinks that maybe she thinks she's someone else i don't know if that's true person at the gym thinks she thinks she knows her but she's mistaken yes that's giving a lot of credit to this woman i think yeah true i agree you know what i mean but that just happened to me really someone thought it was you really uh-huh was it was 10 minutes was it mom before this was a mom oh no someone saw you and thought you were me hey how's it going oh good to see you again okay okay oh okay okay okay okay oh yeah yeah absolutely that's so weird we don't look we don't look anything alike no i mean you definitely could

tell we're brothers but we don't look like that alike come on like not like that yeah no we don't look like the same person even remotely yeah well i mean but people when i was younger people used to do that yeah you yeah i mean and then they would go like this they would go oh no no you know what it is you're better looking no no they wouldn't do that you know what they you know what it is we seem alike that's what it is i think we sound alike we seem like what i said was we seem alike and that's the best way to put it. Right? Would you agree with that?

No, I wouldn't. That's why I'm saying another thing. Okay, so what else then? I think we have the same manner of speaking. Okay. Because, I mean, we- Cadence, maybe? Yeah, cadence. Vibe.

But that even has that too, to a degree. Yes. It's just like, it's the habitual things in life the things that we learn and i never and never have to relearn again yeah like the way we laugh the way we say things right the timing of dance would you say we seem alike you would say that i don't think we seem alike at all honestly can i say something okay i don't think that's what happened. This person that you ran into, I think I know who it was. And they knew it was you. Okay.

And you just don't remember them. Probably. How do you know that? Because they texted me. They said, Chris didn't recognize me. Who's the person? We can't say it. Is it a girl?

We can bleep it. Was it a girl can bleep it was it a girl yeah it was a girl okay then we're talking about the same person obviously how do i know her how do i know her because you're friends with him she was here i think she watched a show here before fuck and it's not that big of a deal you've probably seen her once okay so i don't feel so bad no but she didn't think that it was matt sorry Sorry. Booyah, Booyah, and Booyah. All right. Well, now that that's settled. Well, that's fucking great, dude.

Wow. So now I just fucking, she thinks I'm a, me, Chris D'Elia's a dick. Uh-huh. Well, she wouldn't be too far. I'm really not a dick, dude. No, you're not a dick. No, you're not. No, it's understandable, and I'm sure she fucking doesn't care.

Yeah, I'm sure too. Yeah. Wow. She's so unsure. So unsure. I want her to know that i appreciate her saying hi i will send her the time stamp of this video okay there we go that's great perfect awesome she seemed very sweet honestly i can't wait to figure out how i know her but at the after the show but anyway uh all right cool let's do another one then huh

huh oh hey matt multitasking wow so okay so not on the phone you know using your friend's kid's name for your baby what a good question using change based on how well you know the person if they're just like acquaintances if they're friends you used to know. I don't know. Is that weird? Because I really like the name of one of our friends' kids that we don't talk to anymore, but we are moving to the same city

that they live in. So you don't talk to her. Let me know what you think. But you don't talk to her anymore. You absolutely name your kid whatever you want to name your kid. Why? Because here's why.

It's a name that you're going to have to say more than any other name for the rest of your life. Which is why I'm going to name my next kid Vin Diesel. It's going to be Vin Diesel D'Elia. And you know, I... That'll go well with my name because my name is M. Diesel. Oh, okay. Okay. I don't... I think you're right uh there are

names that have that are ruined for me because of oh of course when you grow up and you know somebody with that name of course but what do you think of this naming your uh kid something like that do you think you'd be able to ever get over it? Do you know what I'm saying? Oh, yeah. Oh, quickly. Immediately, I think. I bet within three months,

all of the thoughts you had about like, oh, the association with the name is so terrible would be gone. Maybe. Yeah, I don't know. I think it's okay. But also, it's definitely okay because people name their kids literally their own name like george foreman named did he name all his kids george correct

that's so fucking crazy he had a daughter and it was georgia right wow so you can do that or something yeah also they're never gonna find out and even if they do who gives a shit yeah i remember when we named calvin calvin uh our you know matt trevenin his dad's name's cal yeah and uh and calvin's middle name is matthew name after you but matthew was our next door neighbor and then his dad's name is cal so they're like oh we love that it's calvin matthew well it's not because of them right i mean but you know it's not you named cal your son after the trevenans? That's crazy.

I never knew that. I named him after calorie because I love eating. I love eating and I love burning calories at the gym when I do deadlifts. Right. And I do do deadlifts. Okay. Okay. Yeah.

I did deadlifts last time. So drunk. Arnold Schwarzenegger though really more than anything. I do fucking squats when I go fucking squats when i get it when i go when i go today anyway dude so that's what's up and i'm relaxed i'm good i feel good dude okay okay my contacts are fucked up all right all right so let's get into it all right next one what's up chris and matt chris i saw you recently in cincinnati i think this is the third time that i've seen you i was amazing thank you and also i was the third time that I've seen you. Hell yeah. It was amazing. Thank you. And also, I was the guy who walked up to David Sullivan and told him that he is not fat.

Oh, wow. Amazing. And then I felt really stupid when I watched the tour report video because there's a section of that video where he's eating a bunch of junk food. And he's fat. So I might retract that statement. There you go. But he's not that fat. Matt, you're awesome.

I love listening to your advice uh there was one episode where you talked about not washing your hair and i tried it out and it actually makes it feel a little bit better a hair heavy episode thanks for that uh my question is we me and my wife are moving soon the message is from always gonna say the message we are gonna get rid of a lot of stuff. My wife loves to hold on to things. Oh, boy. So what could I say to convince her to throw stuff away that she doesn't really need?

It's the best way to do it. I don't know. Yeah, go ahead. Thanks. It's the best way to do it. You say, sweetheart, or whatever you call her, term of endearment, honey buns, whatever. Whatever. He's got it. He's got it so far.

I'm saying if you call her, you can go. Sometimes people are like, fat, fat piece of shit. No, that's not a name of endearment. honey honey honey buns whatever whatever he's got it he got it so far i'm saying if you call it you can go sometimes people are like fat fat piece of shit no that's not a name of endearment it's not but they they do it like it's ironic anyway oh right so you say i'm assuming she needs she knows she needs to throw some stuff away but probably doesn't want to okay you say baby go take the afternoon go do something let me get rid of a bunch of shit that you don't need that's the number one best way to do it because here's why and i will tell you she doesn't know what she's not gonna miss yes she's holding on to shit that she doesn't need just because and she doesn't realize she doesn't need what she's not gonna miss yes she's holding on to shit that she doesn't need just because and she doesn't realize she doesn't need it dude when you know what when kristin says do you need this anymore do you want this guess what i do i get mad throw it away you just wanted

to throw it away throw it away that's interesting because i don't need it if i'm not fucking using it most interesting thing you ever said on the show well. Well, no, it's not, dude. I think it is. I say crazy interesting things at this show, and it's hard to quantify which one's the best one. But, dude, that one is up there, and I'm right. I have a little twist on what you're saying. Tell me if this is just as good or what. It sounds pretty fucking perfect, but okay.

You do that, but you don't actually throw it away. You put it away and say what do you think right and if they're like it's great that's what i was actually gonna end up saying at the end you didn't though but i didn't though because i'll let you have it no but i do agree with that because you don't want to be like her to be like right where's my fucking heirloom but i do have a thing that you can do if that does happen so come up to me where the fuck is and be like, where the fuck is my heirloom? Where the fuck is my heirloom? I have no idea what happened to it.

But it was in here. It was not in... Yeah, but it wasn't part of the stuff that I removed, so it's somewhere. You're just going to lie? And see, yes. Oh, okay. So lie if you get called on it. Call that on it.

There you go. That's not probably the best thing. It's probably not, but also in the short term, it will probably help you. My contacts are blurry. I'm pissed. Go ahead go that's not probably the best it's probably not but also in the short term it will probably help you my contacts are blurry i'm pissed go ahead what's up with the contacts they're just blurry they've been blurry lately lately they just get blurry is it allergies like i don't think so the film over it the other day i was at dinner and all of a sudden my contact just goes like this moved oh you might need an actual new new uh prescription you might the curve might be off a little bit. You think? Yeah, our eyes change.

The more we correct our eyes, the worse they get. I know that. Because they work less and less hard. I know that. Just like people, eh? Not Mexicans. Evolution, how about that? Not Mexicans.

How's evolution? Try evolution on for size. That's the worst thing to say. Survival of the fittest. Why don't you try survival of the fittest on for size? The most boring thing to say. Allival of the fittest. Why don't you try survival of the fittest on for size? The most boring thing to say. Let's go to the next one. Chris and Matt, I hope you're having

a good day. I love the show. It's so good. I know you're going to roast my hair, but maybe you won't. Beach day hair. You know what? I'm living life. My question is... Pause it.

This guy... It's all right, you know? ...has the greatest speaking voice... It's good. ...I've ever heard in my life. I mean, I wouldn't go that far, but it's good. Why are you jealous, dude? I'm not jealous.

He sounds great, and you want his voice. I don't want his voice. I don't. I want that voice. That voice is crazy good, dude. He used to be on the radio or something he's handsome too though he could be on tv even yeah okay i'm just kidding okay that's my i'm not saying he doesn't have a good voice he does okay let's go do i handle people that

come up and say not his hand i'm praying for you yeah or I want to, I just want to let you know that I'm going to pray for you and, and hopefully God will do something. You know what I mean? Like fill in the blank in those moments. I don't want to be rude. And I'm like, I, am I a terrible person?

Because in my, in my mind, I'm thinking like, I want to do a spin move and be like, well, actually I want to pray for you because it's like why are you assuming that i need to be prayed for you know maybe you need to be prayed for am i a bad person for that i don't know i don't think that i am but i wonder

what you what you all would do in that situation here's the deal here's the deal that is rude it is to do that to someone hey i'm praying for you when you know they're not religious like yeah fuck off dude they're doing that for them get the fuck out of here of course they are being so so yeah don't i don't do you're doing this for you and that's annoying yeah i i think that uh pray for i'm praying for you the only response is oh yeah do it or don't same thing happens thank you dude or just don't waste your time yeah don't waste your time i'm all good man yeah i'm great oh no don't waste your time no no hey dude oh hey i'm praying for you oh dude no don't even do that man you know why

doesn't matter do it or don't do it. It's fine. You're wasting your time. It's all good, man. That would be good. Anyway, I'm going to go do my day. It's going to be exactly how it was. That'll be good.

That would be good. Yep. That would be awesome. I would love that, actually. Yeah. It's all good, man. I mean, I guess let's put this into context. Why are people saying this to him?

There are people in his life that want him to be religious. It crazy if they but he's just getting that out for out of coincidence every like other day right that's what i mean he has to be in a scenario where like his family is like yeah i pray for you even though you're going to hell if anyone believe around that is rude yeah it's presupposing so much i mean maybe he's out there actually like just stabbing people you know and people are like robbing banks i'm praying for you dude you don't know maybe he's out there actually just stabbing people. Or robbing banks. I'm praying for you, dude. You don't know. Maybe he has stage four cancer. And he didn't tell us that.

Then it would make sense. You're right. But it wouldn't make sense, though, because does it help? Well, no. But it would make sense that people say it. Right, right, right. There we go. Why are people saying that to him?

If you get a whole football stadium of people and pray for the... Okay. stadium of people and pray for the okay if you had somebody in the middle of a football field right chargers stadium where they play right so so far whatever it is all right and you All right. And you had a whole football stadium full of people. Do you think that if the 60,000 of them or whatever prayed or thought very seriously about something for that other person, it has any more of a chance to come true than if they didn't? Of course not. So that would be the test. Why don't we do that? Yeah, it sounds easy to do. It would be the test why don't we do that yeah it sounds easy to do it would be very hard but because here's the thing in football stadiums you got it full of people that want the same thing they want the team to win but you also have people that want the other

team to win the football stadium okay so if you didn't let other fans in if you only let the people in that wanted the football team to win one 14 to win do you think that do you think that team had a better chance to win no i think no i think it might because in the home field advantage they're treat they're cheering more yep you just said earlier in the episode vibe is nothing i know that but but what i'm saying is do you think that if they were all cheering, home field advantage, that it helps for the team? If they're going wild and cheering, yes, that's something.

It's called home field advantage. But if they're not, then you don't. If they're just thinking, quiet. Yeah, that doesn't. But the prayer isn't what it is. The hope isn't what it is. The rooting isn't what it is. It's the atmosphere that is provided for the home team. So if they not cheering if they're just like this if they're just like this it

wouldn't uh you know what i mean it wouldn't work no okay everyone knows that at all not at all it wouldn't make a fucking difference dude i don't even believe that you don't know enough to ask the question i am posing a question i am not saying i believe one thing or another okay okay well no i heard that if there's a football team a football stadium full of people praying for something that has a better chance of being of happening but a christian told me that i know okay let's put it that way i know a christian told you that because it's not true and only someone who prays would say that okay so i guess you could be another religion but it's you're definitely some kind of religion but a christian right of course

okay so next one hello christopher and matthew only said that because my boyfriend told me to um has it gone to her head so my question this time around is I've got a girlfriend that I only see twice, maybe three times per year, but, um, we're, we've gotten pretty close and, um, see, the thing is, is that every time we're together and we hang out, I noticed that she like takes little things of mine without telling me. Um, normally she'll like ask like, Hey, can I use this? Can I use that? Can I borrow this? And I'm always like, yes. But I also noticed that certain things go missing. Like I noticed that she may have, I'm almost certain took like a lotion of mine, um, stuff like that. So what should I do? Should I confront her about it or should I just let it go? Let me know. Any advice is appreciated. Bye. Yeah, but hold on though. Hold on. You don't know

if she took it or not. She's almost certain she said. Well, she's pretty close to knowing but yeah. Right. Fair, yeah. Okay. But she said there's other things too. But she's asked for it. She said she asks for to borrow some things whatever and that's fine but she's asked for it she said she asks for okay to borrow some things whatever and that's

fine but she also thinks she's taking other things well yeah definitely don't accuse her of it right that's what i'm getting at don't accuse yeah but you ask her there's something you only see her two three times a year she how much often is she doing this yeah right and how many things are you missing here's my answer it's enough to bring it up that's fucking she's a klepto yeah exactly that's what i was gonna say if it's two three times a year this person taking things every time this person sounds like she's just not like yeah she's got like some kind of problem or something maybe which is a reason to actually possibly even not not bring it up but also never speak to her anymore like if you're gonna not bring it up i totally get it but that means you should just cut it all off yeah

yeah but if you plan on staying friends with this person you absolutely should bring it up and say hey did you take that lotion too i know i i know i let you borrow da da da but like unless it's just lotion then it's like who cares right no it's that makes it even that makes it even worse i think someone took lotion from me no look look listen okay i'm listening if it if it was a valuable thing and someone took it well that's it would make more sense right if someone just took a random thing from my home i'd think they're like have some weird obsession with me and they just want something i owned okay well if it's a valuable thing there, this is why it's easier. That person's not in my life anymore.

Yeah, or like actually file a report. If it's a deodorant, it's like a single white female situation. Hey, bro, what are you doing, bro? If someone took my deodorant. That implies to me like some kind of dark, weird obsession. Hey, bro, do you have some dark, weird obsession? What the fuck's going on? This is my deodorant? Right. You took this you took this shit huh no let me smell your armpits that's the same one

i use you got different at cvs bullshit what's the deal yeah this is like single white male she's a female i'm saying if for me okay yeah okay bro that's how I started. Oh, right. Yeah, you made it as if it was happening to you. Yeah, I don't know, man. I think that that's pretty weird, right? It's extremely weird. But there are kleptos, right? Like, what's her name? Winona Ryder did it a little bit? Yeah.

Did she, though? Or was that media? No, she did, yeah. She did? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. There are others, too.

I actually know people. It must be a sexual thing, right? Stealing something? I know people. I don't think so i know i know people who shoplift still in their 40s what yep crazy way and what do they say about it they just don't want to pay for things that's is that a klepto though because i thought a klepto does it because of the sneakiness to me and the sneakiness to me is kinky to me saying just i just don't want to pay for things he's like uh it's like in hindsight you're you're creating the narrative okay it's probably very fair anytime you have some sort of obsession like that it's

secretly kinky though why because secrets are kinky, right? Did Freud say that once? I think that's Freud. Secrets are kinky. That reminded me while I was doing the Golden Hour and Brendan Schaub was like, some guy called in and he had like a fucking T-Rex with a Spider-Man outfit on and it said Spider-Rex on it. And Brendan says, oh, dude, there's a T-Rex with the Spider-Man outfit on. And I said, oh, dude, did you just figure that out by looking at it? That reminded me of that.

Cool. Who's Brendan? Shob. You know who Brendan is. Just kidding. Yeah, all right. So anyway, dude, my mucus is doing a little better. Oh, that's good.

Why? Well, I wonder why. Probably because talking. That helps? No. That usually makes it worse for me. I know. I know know isn't that crazy dude honestly crazy i really like that guy's voice yeah well that's uh yeah it's all good man dude um so anyway let's do another one yeah

sure final we're having a good time right final one uh-oh he's oh boy what's up matt and chris uh my name's ty and uh chris i've been following you since tmp so yeah despite the fact that you do not know who i am i just want to let you know that we are friends now i know who you are dude and then matt i've booked a session with you before so we've already kind of worked through cool a little bit of my insanity but my question is this i'm 29 years old so as far as the internet's concerned i've already got one foot in the grave yeah and i'm starting to feel old a little bit i'm starting to feel old because i'm getting like cynical about yeah just like generally popular media yeah sure yeah and i wanted to know if any like have either one of y'all experienced that like chris for example shit that's supposed to be funny now yeah it's just not funny to me especially with like tiktok and like people i don't know i just don't know what people are

fucking doing anymore and then maybe a little more mad oriented question would be like dude movies are getting worse too because like i'm sorry but i'm i don't want to watch any more fucking superheroes we do like five spider mans a year now yeah and we fucking you gotta watch you know marvel dc i don't give two shits stop making star wars i'm out yeah there you go so i guess my question is this. Is this just a part of getting older? Yeah. Or am I a fucking an asshole pretty much? That's the question.

You got to wait. You got to wait. You got to wait. You're definitely getting older, but you got to just keep that in check. The fact that he's asking the question is good, right? Because you don't want to become a cynical asshole right no because it's very easy to especially i don't know man well it's natural to get more and more cynical as you get older and older because more shit happens to you and things generally in life things if you were to just take a random occurrence in one's

life and just like like people do with a globe they spin it and they put their finger on it all the events of your life are on that globe and you spin the globe and then you put your finger down randomly chances are that's going to be a bad thing really in life because life is hard and life is bad and except the moments that aren't are so great but those are fewer and further between you're saying that to live is to find the meaning through suffering i'm not saying that i'm saying life is hard more often than it is easy okay and so the the more you live it makes total sense to me that the longer you live the more likely to be cynical right you get because more life means more whatever hardship heartache whatever the fuck um so it makes sense but i do think that it's something worth trying to keep in check that

cynicism yeah because frankly here's something interesting nobody likes a cynical piece of shit yeah even cynical pieces of shit it's weird okay so like it's the one kind of way to be that even other people like that don't like so let's all try to veer away from cynical aging asshole territory um that being said at various times culture uh can can seem worse than ever you he brought up movies but you could talk the same way about music or whatever. Every generation thinks that, though. Exactly. So I think the healthy way to think about it,

he brought up movies to stick with movies for a while. If you look through past eras of movies, there were always trends that died that seemed, I'm sure, at the time, like they would never go away right you know uh and that's going to happen to superhero movies in marvel and dc it just seems so difficult to believe because we're so in the thick of it and being bombarded all the time with sequels and and and you know franchises and and we're gonna be like you remember the fucking like in 2010 to 2020

2020 2030 dude there were so many superhero movies we're gonna be like that yeah for sure yeah and now it's crazy so many like everything was a sequel remember that you know it's gonna be like that yeah remember like nine different guys play spider-man yeah that's a conversation i'm gonna have for sure for sure yeah um but it doesn't mean it's going to get better, but remaining not cynical. And now it's even worse, we're going to be saying. Right, but it doesn't mean that just because it makes sense or it follows that it's not going to get better, we have to believe that it's not going to get better.

It could get better, so we should reserve some sort of belief that it will. Because otherwise, not because it actually is probably going to be better but because it would be a miserable fucking existence if we all sat around thinking well it's bad now but it's going to be even worse everyone would be jumping off a building right no movies have never been worse though than now i i mean i agree i mean there was a period in the early in the early aughts. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, that was just terrible.

A little bit after the 90s, yeah. They were pretty fucking terrible. Like, I mean, 9-11, people don't like it when I say this, but it's true, dude. 9-11 was, like, the death knell for movies. So many things went wrong with Hollywood movies after 9-11. Really? So it's just another thing that... Why don't people like

when you say that? 9-11 fucked it. Because it seems academic and it seems like sort of like an esoteric thought, but I just mean it very literally.

Like, look at the movies before September 11, 2001 and after. That's true. It just is. It's so stark. It's so clear to me that even good filmmakers started making bad movies after that's true it just is it's so stark it's it's it's it's so clear to me that even good filmmakers started making bad movies after that it's really weird you ever see peacemaker with

george clooney and that was before 9-11 yeah yeah so must be great no i'm just kidding um all right well yeah yeah i i don't uh just keep it in check like which is what I do anyway. I used to be more cynical than I am now. It's something you have to fight against as you age because that's – but you're fighting a good fight. That's good. You are right that just asking the question puts you in a better position than most because most people are just like falling down their particular hole. They don't even think about it.

The guy sounds like a smart guy. Yeah. And he's pretty smart if he likes TMP, right? Exactly, yeah. No, but he sounds like a smart guy. Yeah. All right. Well, that's about it.

You can go get the merch at lifelinemerch.com. Go get the tickets. I'll be in Tucson again. I'll be in Colorado. I'll be in Nashville. I'll be in Canada. Chrisley.com. I'll be in Las Vegas.

So that's what's up. You know what? Also, leave a comment. It really helps. ChrisLay.com, I'll be in Las Vegas. So that's what's up. You know what? Also, leave a comment. It really helps. Leave a comment. I'll go and share this with a friend. Send this YouTube to someone else. Be like, yo, check this show out.

It's fun. And subscribe to the channel. And that last caller, his name's Ty. He said it. I wasn't going to say it. He booked a one-on-one session with me. Oh, yeah. And I changed his life.

His life is exponentially better than it was before the session that we had together. I don't know if that's true. And he made that appointment on mattdalia.com as easy as anything else. Okay. So just go do that and get your life very much improved. And the most important thing, today, there is the extra episode that came out. Go to patreon.com slash lifeline luxury. Patreon.com slash lifeline luxury.

Thank you very much. There you go. Yay!