Lifeline - 62. Lovin' Life

Episode Date: June 18, 2023

LIFELINE LUXURY is available at patreon.com/lifelineluxury 🤳 Want to submit to Lifeline? Go here: forms.gle/EYbqjvyy1A9r728Y9 ☎️ You can also call the hotline at 213-973-8095 🎧 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: apple.co/3NG2G2G 🔊 Subscribe on Spotify: spoti.fi/3NPUwoT 🔗 All our links: linktr.ee/watchlifeline 💚 Lifeline is the first podcast about you, hosted by Matt D'Elia & Chris D'Elia. Today we discuss Marcy Playground, gambling addiction, when friends notice your new clothes or accessories, dealing with serious family health problems, and religious love. 📆 Book 20 min or 40 min one-on-one sessions with Matt at mattdelia.com. More LIFELINE: 📸 Instagram: instagram.com/watchlifeline 💃 Tiktok: tiktok.com/@watchlifeline Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Let's go seize the night. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamex. Benefits vary by car and other conditions apply. Terrible. They're terrible. No, I do. I love sex and candy, yeah Yeah, I know it

No, I said that first, mother You didn't say it in that part I know, but I said the name of the song I know, but I So he can't be like Yeah, you got it I got the melody No, but I know it

I love sex and candy, yeah I smell sex and candy, yeah. I smell sex and candy here. Who's that lounging in my chair? Basic, basic, the lyrics. I don't know. Who's that casting devious stares in my direction? Mama, this surely is a dream. Why do you know all the lyrics? Yeah, I'm just jamming right dream. Why do you know all the lyrics?

I'm just jamming, bro. Why do you know all the lyrics? Mama, this surely is a dream. Wow. All right. I mean, ate something and likes it. So wait, hold on. Why do you know all that?

Because it was a huge song. It's killing me. It's the something. What is it? It's the Terribles. What playground? Marcy Playground. Marcy Playground.

Frigginauts. Frigginauts. Jason and the Frigginauts. You know what I'm saying? Dude, why is it? So it's about. You look super blind. So it's from New York?

It's from New York. A song is not from anywhere. Marcy? Marcy's. Isn't that New York. It's from New York. A song is not from anywhere. Marcy. Marcy's. Isn't that in New York? Playground? It's not Marcy's Playground. It's a band.

Marcy, though. Marcy Playground is a band. Marcy is in New York. So I'm saying maybe it's in Playground in New York. All right. So there we go. I'm very cultural. I'm very geographical.

Okay. Okay. So wait. Hanging around downtown by myself and I've had too much caffeine and i was thinking about myself and then there she was i don't want you to be singing it all right but uh i get it now um like disco see ya uh that would have turned up podcast off honestly if i was listening well guess what you're not you're not our demo you're wearing the most regular orange button down i've ever seen in my life there's absolutely nothing special about it it's the most regular orange

button down shirt i've ever seen in my life what are you gonna do about it nothing exactly just say that exactly it is so regular it would be in fucking old navy in 2003 or it's union bay it's wrangler oh okay yeah that's wrangler wrangler wrangler uh the way that it makes that is i wouldn't know wrangler makes those colors honestly well they used to these colors they don't procure the good things procure i procure the best things on offer that the world has trump okay and it's like nothing you've ever seen and i have this same shirt i have this same shirt it's like nothing anyone's ever seen it's in magenta as well it's in orange as well just like that one it's yeah so it is like something i've ever seen red as well so it's just something i've seen yeah but they're all like nothing and you have all of them i have all of the ones i said yes and i so they're all like each other so i've seen those are like ones i've seen that one no

i've only worn one of them ever on this show and i'm doing it right now let's talk about this dude how crazy is it that lifeline luxury is out and you can go catch it right now on Patreon, patreon.com slash Lifeline Luxury. And let me tell you something about it. It's been going gangbusters. I'll tell you something. We got extra episodes of Lifeline out on the Patreon and people are just eating them up, dude.

You know what? I'll tell you. What? About Lifeline Luxury. Okay, what? Dad has been bugging us. i know dude for weeks now has you been able to see it just i got the whole story okay he's been bugging us let's set it up by saying

our parents watch every single episode of lifeline yes which is cute yeah they look forward to it and obviously because you know every sunday night they're like watching it yeah their favorite people are in it and uh so my dad because it's not it's through patreon and not through regular youtube yeah uh my dad well obviously my mom even more because my mom didn't even know to ask me so at least my dad knows it should be possible to watch it on the tv which it is he just didn't know how and ch Chris, our producer, told him. And that wasn't enough for him. Of course it wasn't. So when I came over yesterday, he asked me to do it.

And I said, what about what Chris told you how to do it? He said, yeah, I don't know. I couldn't figure it out. I said, okay. Then I finally figured it out. And he seemed to barely care once I did you know what i'm saying oh wow so it took wow that's so shitty yeah it took me like a long time until i chris was like okay no this is how you do it then i was because i can't do that kind of shitty yeah yeah you're not good

at it yeah um we'll watch it but i knew you're gonna do that you're predictable uh well um i'm not is what's what's wild you're gonna do that no you didn't you don't know anything you don't know anything so anyways nice to meet you you don't know anything so that so then what dude to introduce yourself so then what uh then i was like i set it up i set it up dad and he was like yeah yeah great and i was like where's the reward in this you know what i mean so all right so all right well maybe he'll thank you now maybe eventually maybe if he sees it and likes it he'll be like hey thanks matt you hooked me up yeah but he didn't really react that way you know know what I hate? When we would be living at home, I mean, many years ago. You could have just said when we were kids.

And you would hear mom be like, oh, shit, Chris. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what you're talking about. God, dude. About the computer. She made something go away. She'd be like, I made it go away. What did I do?

Yeah. And then you'd come in, fix it it this is how it would always go you'd come in fix it oh you'd be like oh you just kind of minimized it here it's right there always was that all right it just hit the fuck hit the fucking green thing here yeah and then she'd go okay and then you'd walk out down the hall yep and then dude 80 of the time should go like this oh shit wait chris yes yes oh never mind oh wow yeah oh shit chris wait oh all right never mind also here's the thing that bothered me the most yeah and it's not actually just her this is the thing that bothers me the most is that when you do something like that for somebody and you say so just so you know so next time this happens right right right they're like i'm not

gonna know i'm not gonna know and it's like oh so my time is nothing to you yeah yeah but your time 15 more seconds just to learn this for the rest of your life is too much okay yeah guess what's going to happen it's gonna whatever's gonna happen with the lifeline luxury which you can get on patreon.com slash lifeline luxury it's gonna log out or whatever and that's tv and he's gonna be like yeah i need you to do it again yep so you know that's gonna happen i mean i'm looking forward to that maybe he'll actually thank me next time yeah uh i will be in colorado i will be in pueblo colorado i'll be in colorado springs chrislea.com for tickets uh interesting that he would be changing yeah right when it's said there

so i know no that's nice las vegas i'll be in las vegas um knoxville tennessee little rock for some reason in nashville so chrislea.com get tickets there. And that's great. It's a one thing that is interesting about what I talked about about dad. Yeah. Is that it's fought today. This episode is father. Oh, yeah, that's right. It is it is father's father's day. I told the story of my dad not thanking me enough. There you go. Yeah, it's father's day for me, dude. I it's my first father's day having two kids. Oh, yeah. that so far i don't know because it's not the day yet it's not even the day yet all right okay as we're talking i just got back from tucson and i'm just going to go ahead and say it that show was awesome yeah even i have no idea oh

well it's not there yet you're right yeah okay cool that's cool but it was great a lot of people there having a good time at the linda ronstadt music hall or whatever thank you named after linda ronstadt yeah i believe so imagine you're l Linda Ronstadt Music Hall or whatever. Thank you. Named after Linda Ronstadt? Yeah, I believe so. Imagine you're Linda Ronstadt and the one you get named after was the one in fucking Tucson. Maybe she's from there or something. Who knows? I would take it.

You know, that's a major city, major American city. Lifeline Luxury though, huh? Yeah, definitely. It's the best. You got to sign up. If you don't sign up, you ain't... And also, it's just us bantering no no video submissions or anything like that but if you do have a video submission

go to uh watchlifeline.com or the hotline we have there and uh if you want a one-on-one session with matt go to mattalia.com i had some real good ones yesterday oh yeah real good day sessions and by good i mean real freaky stuff oh people coming at me with some real freaky stuff okay and then if you want the merch which is absolutely incredible lifeline merch.com there we go um i will say this i could not sleep last night and i'm pissed about it you dude why why why all right so here's what happened i got home i was at the laugh factory i got home uh i was with a buddy i was like let's go to my house and order some food he goes like this nah so i'm like all right i go home i want to order spaghetti and meatballs i didn't though

because the place was closed but it's all good you know i keep it lean but i didn't feel like keeping it lean yeah it doesn't sound like you but uh didn't yeah yeah exactly right because i've been working out like crazy bro okay keep going don't get sidetracked i know but i did a big shoulder day yesterday don't care no and no one no one watching i did military presses and then also just with the dumbbells after that no one's ever cared and then i did battle ropes at the end but that was after a bunch of stuff no one could feasibly care about it's not even possible that in the future someone might all right so um after that i go you know what i earned it so fuck it so i went to go get two i ordered two burgers to the house because one burger is a snack i don't just eat one i really don't like that thing that you say.

I just really detest it. Can you tell me why? Yeah, because it's not even remotely true. You know what I mean? What do you mean? And when things are not remotely true and people say them with complete conviction, it makes me mad.

What do you mean it's not true? Burgers are big, fat, slob food that you don't usually even finish. Then why do I eat two? I think because you're a big, fat slob food that you don't usually even finish then why do i eat too i think because you're a big fat slob dude and doing it at like midnight dude let me tell you right now if you're if you're eating one burger and you can't finish it and you're a dude you're a bitch you're a bitch even if you leave one bite just like first of all that's just like plain schoolyard bully yep shit and i said it and it's wrong it's not wrong it's a whole burger dude

come on bro it's a little bit it's a snack you care what are you everyone's mom i'm not finish what's on your plate no finish what's on your plate but like you're not even really hungry just wait a little bit till you can eat the whole burger because it's just a snack dude after you eat a burger i go like this what do you want to eat well you're fat then and then your heart burger in your heart in your soul you're fat so i ate i got two because i know my shit i didn't get fries i got two burgers okay okay to leave room for the second burger i didn't want fries okay yeah so then i sat and I watched a movie. And what was it?

Oh, my God. Could you be more boring? Could you possibly be more boring right now? I mean, it's like you're trying to set some record. What was the movie I watched last night? Oh, I don't know. Oh, Artifice Girl. That's such a bad title, by the way.

Yeah, it's a bad title, but the movie was really good. What is it? We went to South by Southwest or something like that. It takes place in like three different rooms and it's about AI. Ooh, I like the sound of that. William Shatner. I do that now. If something sounds good, I go, ooh! William Shatner. So, I ate the two burgers, then I looked

and see what kind of sweets we got. Ate the sweets, and then I looked and see what kind of sweets we got. Ate the sweets. And then went to bed at about 1230. I wrote a review for... I think I know why you didn't get to sleep. Okay. Because you had two burgers and a bunch of sweets at 1230. All right. So you don't think I can do that now?

No, you're 48. Three, 43. Don't say that. But the air's on. Everyone's fired. Feels good though, huh? It does, yeah. So I did that and I couldn't sleep. And my question is

I didn't sleep till 4. I couldn't. I was tossing and turning. I tried everything. I took a little bit of NyQuil. Didn't work. NyQuil goes like this. No. Dude, NyQuil, I have the you know this. I have the opposite reaction to NyQuil than you're supposed to have. What?

Yeah, it keeps me way wired and awake. Whoa. Yeah, it sucks. Anyway, I couldn't get to sleep until 4. I legit was moving around, and Kristen was like, well, why don't you just go in the other bed? You're kind of keeping me up. And I was like, yeah, okay. I thought you were sleeping.

So I went, and I finally went to sleep. And that's why i was a little bit late here i'm really tired but what about what about all the other days that you're late every day i'm not you're late a lot i'm late sometimes you're late the thing about me is i'm like five to ten minutes late almost all the time yeah you'll be like 80 minutes late dude i was three minutes late today i wrote a review general okay before we get into it i wrote a review because i'm gonna work on being a critic okay i wrote a review for artifice girl okay why don't you lay it on us can be... Dude, exiting the theater shouldn't just be a way to get back to your car

and go home. It can be much, much more. And yes, we long for the days where movies leave you with that wow feeling. Well, the new piece by Franklin Rich is that plus more.

It takes tired tropes and revamps them into beautifully spun lore this modern classic rips apart all conventional filmmaking and throws it out the window while you're sitting there thinking yeah this is what i've missed in the movie since the 70s see artifice girl in the theater and when you leave that's when a whole other experience begins you aren't just walking to your car you're thinking about the film and how it exposed humanity to its very core the truth is this piece is a gorgeous thinker dude that is the part that

makes me most mad that part makes me so mad it was kind of humorous until i got to the end oh you for yeah at the very end he didn't write out five stars he had five star emojis oh god dude oh fuck i did that at 2 30 in the morning is a great thinker you know gorgeous a gorgeous thinker wow like it's a person that review or whatever you want to call it is like the thing there's a lot of things it's a lot of things namely awful terrible whatever but the thing that it is the most is that each sentence it's like missing three sentences in between yeah yeah you know i'm saying i do like you're making so many leaps that you didn't earn i do yeah but but anyone could be a movie critic i could do that now

in a massive following right now anybody is a movie critic and that's improper language but what i mean is yeah if you read movie reviews now literally all it is is shit like that where it's like right i guy you have no idea about liked it or i guy you have no idea about didn't like it yeah that's not criticism that is your shitty armchair opinion that you're writing about on some blog that no fucking reads submitter yeah so anyway god we got tanked you know you didn't so uh that's what that was what i what i wrote about that at 2 30 in the morning when I couldn't sleep. You don't need to wrap it up. I texted. The thing's over.

You know what I mean? So in short, that is what I wrote. But that – so Lifeline Luxury is where it's at, dude. But right now, we're going to get into some video submissions. Worst Segway guy ever. I mean everything I do is bad. You know what you're saying? Oh, it's deep.

Whatever I do, it's bad. I mean you don't need to do that made it worse hello chris and my name is caris i'm 21 and i'm from the dmv i'm gonna get straight to the point because this is very interesting to me and i'd love your intake so my dear friend who is muslim was talking to and is kind of still talking to this guy who is christian if you were none the wiser you would have no idea that in the muslim culture it's very frowned upon to be with date or marry anybody outside of people can get disowned for it that's just their culture and how they do things so they had a great time together their talking stage um had a lot of great experiences and made each other really happy but somewhere down the line he made the decision to kind of end it

because he felt they were both getting too involved and invested into something that wasn't going to end up long term. Purely due to religion. So I'd love to hear your take.

Should they say fuck it or should they respect it? I should have been like that too when I was younger. Just like, I'm sorry, I'm Muslim. Here's the deal.

I can't, I'm Muslim. With my feelings about that guy. Thanks for the eat. You ready? Yeah. Boo! Boo! Yeah. You ready? Yeah. Boo! Boo!

Yeah. You suck. Yeah. You suck. You're not marrying some girl that you really, really like because some book some guy wrote 1,400 years ago. Yeah, but it sucks. That's a stupid reason.

But maybe he's not even Muslim. Maybe he just says he's Muslim because he likes- No, but I'm trusting her. Thanks for the eat. She knows the guy and knows the girl involved. He's actually Muslim, okay? Thanks for the eon. Oh, babe, I would, but I'm Muslim.

But they don't think they had sex, dude. If they're both religious people... Oh, thanks for the talking, Steve. You don't have premarital sex. Thanks for the talking. I'm Muslim. Okay. So the point is just to thank them and get out because you're Muslim?

Oh, dude, I can't, man. Sorry, dude. Some guy wrote a book 14,000 years ago. I'm Muslim. 14,000 years ago? point is just to thank them and get out because you're muslim oh dude i can't man i'm sorry dude some guy wrote a book 14 000 years ago i'm muslim 14 000 years ago so dumb i mean that is the that is the most setup on a t thing for me it's so so so simple and straightforward it's really hard to find someone that not only that you love but that loves you back you can't add things to get in the way you can't be like well my book that was written 1400 years ago says i can't marry you and your book that was written 2000 years ago says you can't so like well maybe we shouldn't like dude the world sucks i know it's 2023 it's obvious

nothing matters all you need to do is go online and see just be with the person that you like the most and that likes you the most because that feels good and that is literally all we got so your friend's an idiot how long ago was the guy's an idiot that was the guy that wrote the muslim book the quran was written about 1400 years ago history History of the Koran. A little more. Who really wrote the Koran. Nice, man. Yeah. I can't believe that that's what I said to Siri

and I got it right. Did that really work? Yeah. Oh, wow. Jesus, that's crazy. I was making a joke because I'm smart. I know it's the Koran. Wow.

Okay. Well, good. Yeah, dude. That's so stupid. That guy, you know know i don't know everyone all religions do it a lot of religions it has nothing to do with islam specifically it's true of christianity some sex some sex of judaism like i mean any religion mormonism mormonism is christian oh did you say christianity yeah yeah okay but uh yeah dude it's it's it's

idiotic top to bottom doesn't matter what religion it is that it says. Any religion that is the reason for you to not marry someone you would otherwise want to marry or just be with for a long time, that is bad. Full stop. The end. There's no merit to it. It is stupid. It's like believing in Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy. Sorry, I'm Muslim.

Thanks for the talking, though. Yeah. Wouldn't even really make sense, though. What if that's what he said? Dude, thanks for the talking. I'm Muslim thanks for the talking though Yeah Wouldn't even really make sense though What if that's what he said Dude thanks for the talking I'm Muslim I know what she would have said What? Because I don't understand what you mean

I don't even know your shit we didn't do that What do you think she'd say Wait say that again I don't know your shit because we didn't even do that She would be like okay bye And thank you for There you go so basically that is what he said So she should thank him even i don't know your shit because we didn't even do that she would be like okay bye yeah and thank you for there you go so basically that is what he said so she should thank him that's not at all what he said it's not even close to what he said but basically he did say that because he's

saying i can't be with you because i'm muslim and i'm saying muslim because that's what i want to say not muslim it's fine okay both work uh but you're kind of a cock if you're a white guy and you're like muslim but you were doing it the whole time because i was making a joke there's a comedy podcast oh if i was giving a real but it's really a thing people say though i know but i go muslim it's like when people say jesus no one does that well in some circles they do it's like when people say jodoism oh yeah or or um pakistan brian cowan does that oh you know what i mean i just want to fucking rip his adam's apple out i wasn't getting mad until you mentioned his name and then i mentioned his face and then i got mad there you go so anyway yeah that sucks man love is love dude and you got

to just be in love and love it and not not let religion or anybody who wrote any book 1400 years ago or 14 days ago or 14 000 days even if it's the client by john grisham don't listen to people who wrote books wow and love who you want to love you're extrapolating too much but yeah love who you want i'm an extrapolator sounds like a movie that would come out with like denzel washington no, straight to DVD. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With like Cole Hauser and Bruce Willis. Oh, wow, dude. 12 years ago. And Devin Sauer. Okay, cool.

Shit. What's up, guys? Stefan here from Serbia. Shit. I'm huge fan. Nice. Watching your show for a long time. Watching Chris Congratulations podcast for a bit,

I mean, few years. Hell yeah. Even before the COVID. even before it existed that happened after that so yeah i got a quick question for you uh recently my mother passed and it was uh you know tough time for me lately and one good thing that happened to me in this period is he's entertaining let's say a relationship that i did not expect at all with an ex that i was with let's say half of my life ago when we were kids really really young teenagers he looks young and you know i'm catching some feelings very fast like maybe we were together for a month now i mean we are still

together and i'm really feeling a lot i mean i would say i'm falling in love but i yeah i lost my mother in that period like two weeks ago and my question is for you guys is it too good to be true you know when you lose somebody and you meet somebody i mean not in that order but anyways when it's almost at the same time is it possible to be you know like to really feel the feelings that you need to feel or is it all because i you know lost my mother and now i want to love somebody else maybe somebody new new. But I feel like I, you know, I really do love this person, this girl. And yeah, do you have some similar experience maybe in your life when you lost somebody and you also gained somebody new in your life?

It can be a friend, maybe love, anything. So yeah, guys, is it too good to be true you know to meet somebody really okay good for you in the period of your life when it's all bad yeah thank you guys well you know the reincarnation is a real thing it could be his mom it's not a real thing but that also is fucked up he doesn't want to hear that he doesn't want to be like oh oh the woman i actually fell in love with was that was my mom lovely the joke is that she was alive when the mom was alive anyway it can't be you know and you fucked it all up okay well i think you fucked it up by making it but no dude i just i do i just love how matter of fact it was like you know i would say i am you know falling in love so yeah like that's just serbian

he was very yeah and so i am in love so what do you do now you know like that's how you do it i think that i i i get the question he's asking. It's kind of, it's a little bit complicated because he's basically saying, am I falling in love? Am I being vulnerable to feeling like I'm falling in love just because I'm so in so much pain about my mother passing away and my life is in such flux. Right. I would say actually it doesn't matter because your experience of your experience

is that you're falling in love and you can't be like, well, no, I think I'm just doing it because this, this, and this. It doesn't matter. If you're feeling the feeling, then it's legitimate and it's what's actually going on and you should not lessen its significance in your mind or certainly shouldn't like put the brakes on it just because you're worried that it's some kind of like replacement for these feelings. Also, that's how life goes. It's just, that's such a massive scale version of it. Usually, you know, when our hearts are more open and seeking maybe some kind of companionship or love, we're more likely to find it because our hearts are more open and because we're more on the lookout for it.

You didn't mean to have your mother die and then have this big hole in your life, but it happened and now you do and you are a person with that hole and who cares if the reason is that or whatever, something else. It all comes down to a few things. Do you have fun with her and is is the yin yin good? Because all else doesn't matter, dude. It really doesn't matter. I mean, you could make a case that...

He needs to heal first. Even the yin yin being good doesn't matter. You could make a case. Yin yin matters. Well, yin yin matters, but it's like other stuff matters, I think, the same amount as yin yin. Yeah. But not being happy like being happy

is the above being happy is above all but that's why i said it first but it comes down to a few things does she are you happy hanging out with her is it fun and it has the eon because if the eon but i don't think that's third or second i think it's like what i think is that there's the top it's like general happiness whatever that means to whoever. And then it's like a few things in the next category. So just to say the two implies that is the eating good is as important as this general happiness. I don't know, man. I think the eating was high on that list. I used to not think so.

It is, but you're not allowing for the distinction and nuance that I'm adding to the conversation. So you think it's about happiness? What else? Is the eating good? Okay, that's what i'm saying but no but you're stopping after is the oh i get it so there's other things yeah right it's only about the happiness and evil yeah right all right so then what uh i mean that's it okay so just kidding um yeah i don't know but that's not the point keep going i know no no i get it. I think it comes down to a few things. And you know what Matt says is true. Here's the deal. Hopefully you're not in like this sort of fever dream kind of weird area in your life where, oh, my God, my mom died.

I'm not who I normally am. Yeah, right. And I fell in love at this moment because I do think that there is something to be said about feeling your feelings and also figuring out how to cope with this before you involve someone else but also it happened the way it happened yeah and as long as you're happy with her and they eat it was nice i feel like it's good truly also he didn't seem like a man in a tailspin yeah he didn't i mean who knows but no hole in his head at the moment he seems pretty he could have got it but yeah he could have just put it together for the video who knows he just stops taking videos i mean bro you never

know yeah people because dude like even like as much footage is there out of me on the internet like people come up to me sometimes and or i get messages or somebody sent a message to my wife the other day and it was like uh man i didn't realize that chris was like such a nice guy and he was so soft-spoken and like appreciative and like and it's like did they just think that i'm gonna be like ah you're a piece of shit you know probably because that's how i am on the fucking podcast my point is people think that people don't you can't tell who someone is just by that much footage. So maybe this guy could be in a real, real, real dark area but got it together for a little bit.

I think it's kind of like a – forgive me for generalizing. But I think Serbians just based on life circumstances and certainly previous generations, they're probably like less bulldozed by things in life than people in America are. Yeah, totally. So I think they tend to be more even keeled. No, I am falling in love. I would say I am in love. Yeah. Mother died and then you're falling in love? My mother died, fell in love.

It was hard to have mother die and then I fell in love. It's beautiful. Anyway. Yeah, just so chill. I will have the chicken talking to the waitress. All right.

So chill about the two most extreme things. Anyway, i will have falafel or whatever they eat over there wow so racist have no idea okay i don't have any advice as needed i just wanted to clear up uh an argument between chris and matt oh um for the sneeze so i want to start by saying never lie i agree with Matt on that. Don't lie. There's no purpose for it, but the guy that called in, uh,

he was sharing a bed with a friend. Oh, right. Yeah, of course. Yeah. Oh, say it though.

Say it. Yeah. What? Just for people that see this episode, but not that episode. It was, it was this guy had just started Dating a girl that he was really

Into but just prior to that He had made plans to go on this big European Trip with a really good friend of his Who happened to be female The girl he was He had just met has like these sort of issues From the past that were bubbling up about This trip he was taking

And instead of you know he felt the were bubbling up about this trip he was taking. And instead of, you know, he felt the pressure of this new situation he was in. And instead of telling her the truth, which was that they were going to be sharing a room together on their travels because money and less rooms the better. Yeah. If you have friends, it's easier to stack them up. Anyway, he lied to her and said they were staying in separate rooms. They were on the phone one night. She's still in the States. He's in Europe.

He's in bed with his friend. His girlfriend doesn't know that. His friend sneezes. Like an asshole. Ruins everything. And then the girlfriend is like, who was that? And the guy says it was me. Big mistake.

Yeah. And now this woman has. I'm angry with that woman for sneezing, but yeah. My point was like, you shouldn't have lied in the first place. Yeah, you shouldn't have. But now that you did. But in the meantime, since we did, don't sneeze. Go ahead.

I'm leaning more towards the fact that this woman sneezed on purpose. Yeah. To sabotage that phone call and that relationship. It could totally be true. Because she has feelings for him. Ooh. Chris was right. You could have. She could have gone in the bathroom. Exactly. sabotage that phone call in that relationship because she has feelings for him. We, Chris was right.

You could have, you know, she could have gone in the bathroom. She could have left the room. She could have covered her face. So in my perspective, there's more to that friendship than he thinks. And I think she purposely sneezed loud enough for this other girl to hear. Um,

I don't know. decide but yeah that's a really good point let me tell what i'm happy about i'm happy she made this this video and said what she said i'm happy chris picked it uh-huh yeah me too because it seems like good in a way that you have to be smart to be able to recognize that it's good and he's not that smart yeah but he figured it out you figured it out i'm going to i'm going to say i bet he didn't even watch a fucking video and just click no how about this one oh well i mean i wouldn't here we go dude you give you guys give me no credit no no no that's that is true i was gonna say that's not true you pick good videos no you do pick good videos but you have probably have someone doing that for you you farm that one out uh no that was a very great very great choice of video chris very good interesting submission and

frankly i can't i can't believe it but i didn't even consider that i i actually i kind of was thinking that that's why I said what I said, but she put it into words way better than I did, which is crazy because I'm an order. It's like a, it's like a Freudian thing. Well, no,

she might not even have known. Yeah. Well, yeah. Oh yeah. For sure. Intentionally. Right.

She could have been doing it to sabotage. But my whole thing is don't fucking sneeze, dude. Just don't sneeze or haven't you ever sneezed when you didn't want to sneeze though yeah but really quietly you threw up you know or like in the other room or oh here it comes who's it's not like you don't know it's coming but let's let's maybe never just like yeah if we're gonna if, if we're going to speculate though, what if he also didn't even tell the friend because of whatever, it could be a number

of reasons, right? You know, he was like, yo, don't, don't say shit. Be quiet. Don't, don't, you know, I mean, you would think he's just testing or he's on the phone. Yeah. Yeah. Honey. With hairspray.

Pepper. Yeah. Money. A feather. I don't know man That was a good video It was a good video I heard it I thought about it

And I just thought I was just You know I was just like I'm loving life I'm loving life I'm loving life What a great recap dude

Yeah she did good She should come on the show She wanna be the third host Of the show You should be a Fucking football announcer She should sit right here A football announcer with that there he goes long and long down down the road down the fucking 10 yard line and it touched down there we go you know what that

was amazing you just kind of ran and got a touchdown you know me i'm just a loving life oh dude we should ask these people for i've been doing that for years, and I'm convinced there is a song that does that. And people that are listening now, please know what the song is. What we're doing. Okay. All it is, in my mind, is, I love and laugh.

I love and laugh. I love and laugh. Dude. Okay? If that's a song. I mean mean how many years is this though this is like that would be an 80s song or a 90s song there's no fucking way it's you know what this made me think of what okay so we had cable and because we're two boys and we were like eight and eleven when we were kids we had cable in our rooms. Not a good idea.

You know what I mean? Yeah. This is a lifelong luxury story, but okay. It is, but I got to say, we watched like a soft porn. Yeah.

And we were, let me tell you, we were, hello. And at the end of the movie, uh, we watched until the credits, you know,

cause we're eight and 11. And the song was that the, the hook on it was, I got a Woody. Oh, right. And we thought it was the funniest thing ever. And then, because YouTube is so great, we found the song years later. Yeah. And let me tell you something. It's the worst song of all time.

Oh, it's the worst. Just look up, I got a Woody song. We'll play it on Lifeline Luxury because we can. Yeah. And imagine us laughing at it. We died laughing. I got a Woody. All right, cool. I got a Woody. Yeah, yeah. No, I Luxury because we can. Yeah. And imagine us laughing. We died laughing. I got a woody. All right, cool.

I got a woody. Yeah, yeah. No, I got a woody. Oh, shit. Man, how unsexy is the term woody? Dude, it's the worst. Oh, yeah, baby. It's just.

Oh, baby. Hey, baby. Put your hand on my woody. I mean, what's the equal for box? Want to suck my woody? Oh, yeah. I feel so good on my woody. What about my weenie?

Dude, that's the least sexy thing. Woody's a little bit better than weenie. Oh, baby. Oh, God. I feel so good on my weenie. Don't do the fake kiss sound. Dude, that is so disgusting. Hey.

Stop. Ew. That's kissing. I know what it's kissing i know what it is i've done it i've done it okay uh man that's my weenie i feel so good on my weenie i mean also though like what word would that those words be acceptable you know oh man i feel so good on my weenie the biggest person just having sex with an actual whale. Oh, very good. Who is this? Is this an Amazon woman nine feet tall? That'd be cool.

It's like where Wonder Woman lives. Wow. All right. Such a nerd. You know? It's like where Wonder Woman lives. Stop it. Pause it.

Pause it. He's on so much coke. Dude, this guy's on so much coke right now and also always. Go back. Dude, look at the coke guy. Dude, so much coke right now and also always go back dude look at the coke guy ah dude so much coke in one second yo what up lifeline wow uh big fan christmas all you have in dc oh nice matt fucking trill as fuck um my question is what do you say to people that like call out when you're rocking like a new article of clothing and a piece of jewelry i just got this gold chain yeah and i look sick but i need something to say to people that call it out

yeah thanks yeah i i i understand let me just fucking put on what i want and don't say shit about it i know i know you do so what say something about like my chains or something oh dude that's cool you got two chains on? Oh, you noticed? Yeah. Oh, you noticed. Yeah. Oh. Oh, my God.

The worst guy, you know? You get real up close to their face. Did you just notice because I have them on? That's crazy. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. No, it's annoying, dude. It's annoying.

It's like, I mean, I even feel that way about haircuts. you gonna just get a haircut yeah that is annoying you know i did you noticed i'll go further you want to talk about my haircut what the fuck is this i'll go further you know what i don't like when people are like i saw you posted on instagram i i feel so like do you know what leave that for the internet just comment don't be talking about what i posted on instagram but what if they have something to say about it actually text it to me wow i mean so many rules okay so if they have something if they have something real to say about a post they need to text it to you no if they actually have something real to say but if they're like dude that fucking story you did with the fucking other guy in it oh man it makes me feel weird

just leave it for the leave it for the leave it for the instagram it's weird yeah am i you agree i'm surprised you agree all right you're not surprised but i do agree yeah oh i'm not no dude what's up man feast your eyes on that i'm looking what do you want what do you think about that do it again i'm gonna add it up can i pull it up that's a snake you got a fucking snake on your arm yeah right there well i mean i know where it is but why well what do you mean what is it you can see it's a snake but like from this angle it looks like it might be like a ball sack no

no okay but why a snake if your balls look like that you're in trouble huh why a snake because they're in the grass of the log cabin we gotta watch out for oh right I forgot you have the whole like story going on it's lore okay yeah

also just learned lore yesterday it's the second it's the second time you use the word in 24 hours dude we have log cabin lore i believe you that's cool the snake is out of proportion to the house though it's as big as the house yeah Yeah. It's a symbol, dude. Okay, but is it like... I'm going to put a little weenie fucking snake in the grass? Is it like perspective? Like it's closer? Or it's just separate entirely?

No, it's just a fucking mural. You know how murals go? Yeah. It's not a mural, though. It's a tattoo. It is a mural on my fucking bicep and all that. No, it's a tattoo. Yeah, but it's a mural of art on my fucking bicep and tricep and stuff. No, no, no, no, no. You don't say, like, did you see the painting I have on my arm, which is a tattoo yeah but it's a mural of art on my fucking bicep and tricep no no no no no you

don't say like did you see the painting i have on my arm which is a tattoo that's not what we do you could say that and i would understand what you mean of course you didn't say what it meant but it's a mural because of this is my art my my my body's my diary and this is my journal okay okay man anyway uh that snake's just on a branch you know what i mean yeah dude i definitely i mean i you came to the right place because i definitely know what you mean yeah all right cool so next one who's next billy the kiddy camber australia big fan what he cares uh my questions about my father. He has Parkinson's disease. Parkinson's disease. He's health on the decline, since he.

And my mom is his full-time carer. She's also a grandmother. Sometimes I'll get a call from work, he's fallen over. I'm going to go pick him up, take him to the hospital, shit like that. Nurses have said we need to get help. She's eligible to have a nurse come in daily to do the rounds, lighten mom's load, but she loves her peace and quiet, right, woman of solitude.

How do we nudge her to allow the help he needs? Talk to my siblings about an intervention. Probably won't go well. She'll get defensive. She has mental health issues herself. So how do we do it lovingly without pushing her over the edge? What do you think? Mom's peace and quiet, dad's health.

I know the answer. Yeah. But I just need a little bit of help in getting to the answer. What do you mean he knows the answer? He knows what they should do. They should have someone come and help, but he doesn't know how to get his mom to sign on for it. I think, like a lot of things, you have to, when you deliver the news,

you say it like it's a fucking present that you're getting her. You say it like it's a gift for her to enjoy. You get to take some time off, a little less stress, just in and out for a few hours every day, whatever. And you get to just kick back and actually have your own peace and quiet. Dude, spin it like that. You get to have your own peace and quiet. It's manipulative.

Why are you saying that? Because, you know, she doesn't want it, but you're manipulating the situation. No, no. I think that he— Dude, I got you something. I'm not going to say much. I think, I think that he believes he is doing his mom a favor.

I think that he just also believes that she's not going to understand it until it's there in place happening. Right. She, he's not like fucking over his mom. No, I know that. She needs help help and she's gonna deny it out of pride and like habit dude i got your meet and greet johnny five fingers

um did you make what is johnny five i don't know you just can't just make that up i did i guess i did i don't know it's a real thing i have no it's not definitely not uh you know it could be something already i don't know i'm creative so uh but yeah dude you know she's gonna get defensive you gotta take the big swing and make it sound like it is what it is which is like a gift for her yeah basically mom do you want to be hello and live i got you something exactly yeah that's not a bad that's not a bad advices you know um otherwise you're just gonna get the pushback that you know true you know it's like you want your peace and quiet you get peace and quiet look i get it dude times are changing and it's gonna be tough and change is always weird but it's also inevitable so you know you need help

he needs help let's just do this and we got you this and then you know set it all up for you you don't have to do for you you don't have to do anything if you don't like him or her when they come like we'll get a new one but like this is good dad needs it yep and like it's gonna make your life a lot easier and you you deserve it get her in or you know make it about her make it about her in a gaming you deserve this mom here play among us see if you like it okay yeah i guess i could also get a play. See if you like it. Okay. Yeah, I guess you could also get a PlayStation 2 if you want. Yeah, I mean, I think that's good. I think that's good advice.

Cool. Sorry to hear about that, though. Yeah, that sucks, man. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, dude. Hey, Chris and Matt. So I just was driving home from work, and I called up my best friend. I was just planning out something that was going to happen in a couple of weeks.

And we were just like talking and I was telling him something funny. And then all of a sudden he's fucking silent, right? And then you just hear like a seven-second delayed little tiny giggle. And I'm like, oh, this fucker is using his phone while he's talking to me. So how – I called him out. I said – I just said like, oh, dude, you're on your fucking phone. And he's just like, yeah, sorry. Like I'm just doing all this.

And he told me what he's doing on his phone. I'm like, all right, I'm going to let you go. But what's a better way when you know somebody is on their goddamn phone while they're talking to you on the phone um to hit them with something like fucking make them feel like shit about it or or just uh you know call them out better because i've you know it's just kind of like really dude if i'm talking to you face to face and then all of a sudden i'm just like yeah oh yeah that's funny yeah like fuck you dude so text um text them while you're talking you guys have any advice text them while you're talking about any advice text them while you're talking on the phone i know what you're doing dm them on instagram i know what you're

doing text them and say fuck you i know what you're doing yeah that's the move dude uh couldn't uh that guy i liked his whole thing his demeanor and everything he seemed cool say why i don't know man he was just seemed like easy going even though he's calling in with like a gripe. He seemed like he was just chill, like he wasn't really that mad about it. And he laughed during the thing, like he just thought he was just very comfortable. And he doesn't seem threatening. He seems like a nice guy. I like that guy.

My next question is, why don't you marry him? I mean, set me up, you know, for something not even really that worth it. No, if you like him that much, why don't you marry him i mean set me up you know for something not even really that like him no if you like him that much you don't marry people you like have him co-host this podcast with you okay deeper you don't you don't marry people you like if they love them okay well it sounds like you might love that guy i don't think i love him uh i mean knows damn well you love him you know so i don't i don't i don't know i don't know i don't know about texting is that enough i don't know man i i just think that honestly he wants to drag his friend for making him feel like why are you even talking on the phone who talks on the fucking phone that's what i was actually gonna say it's like what are you guys talking about i

know the solution of this get off the phone what are you Serious shit? You know in movies when they're like... Well, if it was serious, he wouldn't be doing the thing he was doing, playing games or whatever with an Instagram. True. Right. How about this? You be more interesting. Yeah.

How about that? Yeah. Be more memorable, like we say. Hey, dude. Maybe your friend's playing games on his phone while you're talking to him because you're a fucking... As exciting as a mausoleum. Yep.

because you're a fucking as exciting as a mausoleum yep maybe i maybe i didn't was wrong in thinking that you were cool and i like you maybe you're actually not as interesting as lore wow dude you know fitting the word lauren um not even in situations where it's where it works no but i just think that uh yeah i think that who cares really i don't even think you care i think that uh also what are you talking about on the phone right that's kind of weird man also no i think what you should do all things considered when you realize they're doing something else say just stop what you're saying even in the middle of a sentence and just say fuck you and hang up oh wow that's really aggressive but it's just as rude it is rude as hell dude like just get off the phone with the person it is rude in the favor of not wasting their breath like

it's not rude to get also why did the guy admit that he was doing something else because you know it's like if they're good friends like uh it was bullshit and it's like you've been listening it's like nah nah but here's me if i'm in that conversation i'm looking at my phone and i'm like you're looking at my phone? I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, you're being fucking like say other shit. Yeah, you would say that. I would.

I would. Dude, it was so boring what these people were talking about a few nights ago, and I couldn't even believe it. I mean, that is so vague. What are you learning English? Where were you? Who were they? I checked out.

I didn't talk with them. And then afterwards, I was like, guys, you know, I don't know, man. And then we talked about something else else and they got mad at me you were with these people? yeah okay do I mean just do better telling that story because all you did was get to the middle end middle slash end

and then end it no one had any context for what you were saying do you know what I mean? I started late in the story which is what you're supposed to do with a good story you're supposed to start as late as possible into the story getting a lot of text did you know what I mean? I started late in the story, which is what you're supposed to do with a good story. You're supposed to start as late as possible into the story. Getting a lot of text. Did you know about that?

I actually did know that. Yeah, it's like a movie maker thing. And I know that too. Sorry, I was just checking my fantasy baseball stuff. I think I'm going to write a horror movie. Nice. What's it called? Artifice Girls?

Artifice Girls? Lore? There already is one called Lore. Horror. Really? Yeah. I don't know. There was a podcast. They ripped me off. what artifice girl artifice girls lore there already is one called lore horror really yep there was a i don't know there was a podcast they ripped me off famous podcast called lore and oh they turned it into something but that was not a show i can't remember a while ago that guy we got an argument on twitter me and that guy the creator of lore oh really yeah yeah the pocket i can't remember bro i. I cannot remember.

Wow. I was like, you're a fucking cuck, dude. Oh, wow. Jesus. He was. But then also, like, back then, I was a fucking fiery, like, a real, like, reactionary dude. Okay. Wow.

And I'm a little bit more chill now. Things change. Things do change. Okay. What's up? What do we got? I think I have one more or something. On the shit.

Taking a shit. Taking a shit. Hey, what up chris so check it out i have like a slight gambling problem oh dude literally does not wearing his shirt because he bet it yeah yeah and is in like a that's furthest away closet yep away from so his wife doesn't care yeah yeah yeah because he already lost the house i have like a slight gambling problem? Go back. I mean, there is no such thing

by the way as a slight gambling problem. No, not really. Hey, what up Chris and Matt? Check it out. I have like a slight gambling problem. Gambling? I've probably made something between $40,000 and $60,000 in the last two years online gambling.

And the swings are up and down, obviously. But it obviously pays the bills. I mean, that's a lot of money. I'm up more than I'm down. And I probably need to stop because when the swings are low, it affects everything. So, Drunk, what do you guys think? I probably need to stop because when the swings are low, it affects everything. Yeah. So, Drunk, what do you guys think? Should I just cut it out and just take my job as what it is and make like $100,000 a year and be okay with that? Or should I continue to push and hope that the swings go up?

Let me know. Thanks. Yeah. Get out of that, that bro that sounds like a fucking problem waiting to happen so i mean it is a problem when you're up okay when you're gambling and you're you go way up which this guy obviously did and then you go way down but you're still technically up it's two things that you realize one is that you know you're playing a losing game and you know you need to stop but at no time is the impulse to bet more and get that high back

stronger than after you lose winnings not you lose your money but when winnings go away the urge to get that back to reattain that high is so strong stronger than at any other time and for all of those reasons you should absolutely do everything you can 100 to stop now yeah because you're gonna end up yeah and it's gonna it's harder to stop the longer you do it i feel like addiction you know it's like i would honestly i would try to look i would try to have you tried to stop before that's the thing that i think that you should you should think about have you tried to stop before because if you have tried to stop before and you didn't then that's straight up addiction you know if like you know the lows are so bad and you can't stop even though you want to like that's the definition of addiction so you gotta try and

somehow get some help actually um because gambling addiction is fucking brutal, dude. You'll ruin your life. I mean, I know some people who are gamblers, and it's just they've ruined, ruined their lives. So, yeah, I would say stop. Honestly, my heartfelt response is stop. Because also, dude, I understand everybody's struggling and it's hard to make money but if you're making a hundred thousand dollars a year that's a fine living

like i mean especially outside of la yeah exactly in la it's impossible but like you know wherever you live like that's a fine living dude it's not like you're making fifteen thousand dollars a year to where you're like i gotta do something yeah that's the thing like you're making $15,000 a year to where you're like I gotta do something that's the thing like you're gonna fuck your life up dude the whole reason why you're making this video

is because you know that there might be a problem so if there might be a problem then there is a problem just it's like when you think somebody might be gay and you're like

oh no no actually if I'm even thinking that he's definitely smoked some poles you know what I'm saying so I mean not a necessary analogy though you know yeah it is though you know because it's actually clearer with the gambling it is because of the money thing but honestly if sucking poles was money you'd you know you maybe think differently about it you'd be like oh is he

gay oh wait the fact that i'm thinking that he's definitely smoked some poles right so smoke some poles yeah i do think i do think that you should stop i think you should stop especially since you kind of are fucking making you have a job dude you also lost your shirt literally i mean that is an expression yeah i lost my shirt symbolically it's very funny that you called him yeah dude exactly you lost your shirt literally and you going to lose your shirt financially if you keep betting. I'm telling you, I get it why you want to keep going more than you did even when you first started, really way up. This is not complicated.

This is not confusing. People don't like to hear this all the time, but what you're experiencing is actually extremely typical. At this juncture, you start to realize, I got to stop or else it's going to get really, really bad. That's why you're asking and all things are pointing to you got to stop right now. The big thing for me is if you tried to stop before and you couldn't, then you got to stop. Yeah, but what if he hasn't tried to stop before?

It wouldn't lessen the amount he needs to stop still. I know that, but I'm just saying that's a huge wake-up call into where you know the cycle has started and you're fucked yeah but yeah it's easier to nip it in the bud per se which sounds like it's already too late for that but yeah i don't know you haven't lost your fucking nothing will feel worse than when you lose money that you needed you haven't done that yet save yourself the trouble. Interesting. It's the worst feeling. Is that it?

You like to gamble or what? Oh, yeah. Do you have a gambling problem? No. I don't do it anymore. Oh, you used to? Yeah. But not anymore?

Yeah. No, not anymore, no. I used to do it like- You used to do it with what? Like baseball? Yeah, like baseball betting, yeah. But that's legal, right? It's all legal shit?

I would do legal shit. Yeah. So what do you mean not like that? Oh, yeah. That's a lot of money. That's a lot of money. Yeah. A lot of money.

I mean, that is like 50, 60 grand he lost? Or was betting at one time? No. I don't have a fucking... Betting to me, gambling is just not something that I have any desire to do. I don't know why it's just i mean it's almost never about money for people people for whom it's about money usually do pretty well because it's they're colder about it and they're like i'm not gonna do that that's not gonna make

me money statistically emotional gamblers are the people who get ruined yeah because it doesn't matter yeah it's, what is the biggest head fuck for gambling addicts is that it's not the high of a win. Right. It's the high of a low

that you're just keep chasing. Right, right, right. That's the most losing game you can imagine. It's the chaos, yeah. Yeah. You feel more comfortable.

It's the possibility of the low. You feel more comfortable in chaos. So much is on the line and you're just like, it's just the most, literally stakes are higher than anything could possibly be. So people get a high're just like it's just the most literally stakes are higher than

anything could possibly be uh so people get a high from that it's the worst fucking thing to get a high from okay well i hope you get some help uh have a father's day and uh go to lifeline luxury patreon.com slash lifeline luxury we get at least what do we have three four episodes out now um you can go it'll be at least that what do we have, three, four episodes out now? By now it'll be at least that, yeah. Watch them. We've been having episodes come out every week so far. We said at least two a month,

but we've been doing more than that. We have, we have, we have. No, no, this has been three, right? We'll be in the third. Yeah. But there are more than two episodes up by now. So there'll be three. Fourth episode. He's right.

Yeah, this will be the fourth. Right? Okay, so this is the third. All right. All right, cool. So we're doing more than two this month. So there you go. You're going to have three if you sign up.

But there will be four too. Patreon.com slash Lifeline. Yes, there will be. Go to WatchLifeline.com if you have a thing. If you have a video you want to send to us and get the Lifeline merch at LifelineMerch.com And tickets, dude, I'm going to be in Colorado coming up, ChrisDelia.com, Colorado Vegas and Nashville

and Little Rock. MattDelia.com if you want a one-on-one private session, don't need to blow up your face and your problems on the show, you can have a session with me, private, don't tell nobody give you good advice, everybody's happy. If you're making an appointment with me, I love you forever if you don't tell nobody give you good advice everybody's happy uh if you make an appointment with me i love you forever if you don't i hate you forever wow and yeah see you next

week or if you are a patron who are all my best friends for the rest of eternity then you we will see you at lifeline Luxury as well. Wow. Bye.