Lifeline - 63. I Need New York

Episode Date: June 25, 2023

Hate all the advice? LIFELINE LUXURY is available at patreon.com/lifelineluxury, 🤳 Want to submit to Lifeline? Go here: forms.gle/EYbqjvyy1A9r728Y9 ☎️ You can also call the hotline at 213-973-8095 🎧 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: apple.co/3NG2G2G 🔊 Subscribe on Spotify: spoti.fi/3NPUwoT 🔗 All our links: linktr.ee/watchlifeline 💚 Lifeline is the first podcast about you, hosted by Matt D'Elia & Chris D'Elia. Today we discuss getting out of unwanted group texts, male solutions for tan lines, advice for the master of French kissing, transactional nudes in a relationship, and advice from Matt for finding good films. 📆 Book 20 min or 40 min one-on-one sessions with Matt at mattdelia.com. More LIFELINE: 📸 Instagram: instagram.com/watchlifeline 💃 Tiktok: tiktok.com/@watchlifeline Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Let's go seize the night. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamex. Benefits vary by car and other conditions apply. Hey, hey. Dude, it's Lifeline.'s lifeline wow the worst starting of any show we've ever done it's lifeline it's lifeline why do people say they hate arrowhead water so much dude i don't know they say it's trash water people act like it's trash water like it's

like aquafina or something aquafina is trash water you know how i know that because i one time accidentally threw a big piece in one of those big trash bins a big piece of what just a big furniture yeah a big furniture and i threw it and i don't know if this is dumb that i didn't think about this ahead of time or whatever but i felt real dumb okay i didn't like very quickly turn my head you didn't very have or have a mask on yeah so what happened is it went in yeah and just all this detritus of like years years worth of garbage however long it was well the bin's been there for like fucking years but and there's shit all over the bottom of it that god knows when the last time it was like cleaned. And it just comes. And it went in my face.

I almost threw up for like three or four days. I was like, the memory of it was like, this is disgusting. Anyway, that's what Aquafina tastes like. So because that's what Aquafina tastes like. Well, I know. Because I've tasted both. Oh, that's what it tastes like? Yeah. Yeah. Trashwater. water oh my god that's so gross there's like a metallic trash taste that i get when i drink aqua no no no

no sorry dasani does the same okay well that explains it then yeah now why is your um why did you not know to not move your face? That's weird. When you first asked me about what I meant when I said that, it sounded like you were confused as to why I would have thought to do that. No, no, no, no, no. That's why I asked you because I'm like, well, surely this is not what you mean because you would turn your face.

Right, I didn't though. I didn't. And I paid the fucking price, dude. Far or a fin price. So did you think you were going to die? No, no, no, no. It did go in my eyes and nose though it was like in my body you know i'm saying it wasn't like a whiff i caught it was like it got in me you know what i mean wow that's disgusting it was in fact just thinking about it i'm like really wow yeah yeah so wait so that that you feel like that's what a hint of dasani water tastes like? Yeah, correct. Yeah.

Wow. And have you had Dasani before that? Yes. So when it hit you, were you like, that's like Dasani water? Unstand. Dude, such a lawyer right now. Wow. Wow.

When it hit me, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not until the next time I had it. Dasani? Was I triggered. Dude, that's hilarious. Yeah. Dasani and Aquafina are are they really the same thing well i don't know if they're the same thing i think one's by coca-cola okay maybe they both are but everything's by coca-cola but this rights by coca-cola dasani is the worst one i would say okay aquafina is bad anything other than those two are fine i don't have it like

you know what you know what dude and some people are like dude yes and some people like i have no idea what you're talking about if you drink a bottle of fiji water it it smells doesn't taste like but the smell is that of very strong paint it smells like a fucking paint store when they're mixing paint right in front of your schnozronsky dude i'm telling you okay it is so when you lift it up you smell it that's what it smells like but it doesn't taste like that take the top off yeah yeah put the top down don't bring the bottle with your arm and hand bring them both close to your mouth as it gets closer and closer you think oh where are people painting things then when you bringing both close to your mouth. As it gets closer and closer, you think, oh, where are people painting things? Then when you get it close to your mouth, you think, oh, this bottle was formerly used as a paint can.

And then you drink it. And when you remove the bottle, you realize, oh, it's not the water at all. It's the thing I just put in my face, which is plastic, which is a Fiji bottle of water. Is this from Sherwin-Williams? Sherman-Williams. What is it? Sherwin. Sherwin, you go, is this water from Sherwin, William, Sherman, William, what is it? Sure. Sure.

Sherwin, Sherwin, William, swing. Wow. Is this from swing Williams? Look guys, this is lifeline.

And, uh, this one airs on June 25th, which means I will be in Las Vegas coming up and I will be in Knoxville and Charlotte. And also, uh, but head, coming up and i will be in knoxville and charlotte and also uh butthead buttheads gosh i keep saying the f word yeah what's wrong with you man you know what what is it got a few things wrong with me i don't know what they are but i'm working on it and i'm aware

of it so don't come at me i will be in las vegas i will be in charlotte i will be in knoxville little rock arkansas that's the one uh nashville can't wait calgary edmonton ottawa mon moncler that's what we say montreal but jamaican we just said mon just mon a mon so go to chrislea.com to get those tickets um we have a patreon here at lifeline and we've got some episodes out lifeline luxury patreon.com lifeline luxury that is no video submissions that's just me and my brother uh and they're fun shows uh they're actually some of the funnest so go on over there and sign up uh it's uh and you can also access the backlogged episodes we already have a few of them on there go to watch lifeline.com uh or leave us a message at the number and um or click

a link in the description below. Hey, you could do that too. Yeah, true. You could do that. We've got the hot merch, the Lifeline merch, lifelinemerch.com. And if you really want to get down and dirty into the weeds, into the serious neuroses of the amygdala and such and such, you can book a one-on-one advice session with me, your boy,

pimping, pimping, bad about it. So baby, baby Baby, Booyah Booyah, and Booyah. The most boring guy. MattDeLea.com. Thank you very much. Here's the deal. Also, you know what would be great? Leave a comment. Actually, leave a comment.

I want to know, because I do sometimes look at the YouTube comments. I want to know what... I want to know what turns you on. No, bad. I wanna know what... No. I wanna know. No.

I wanna know what waters... Treat me like a dog, getting deeper and deeper. I wanna know what waters... Foreign. You don't like and what waters... They're all gonna say Arrowhead and it's gonna be pissed. I know that, I know that, and I get that. Besides Arrowhead, because I get it.

I don't understand. I genuinely don't... I don't understand. No, no, because I get it. I don't understand. I genuinely don't. I don't understand. No, no, no. I like Arrowhead. Yeah. I like it on the level that I like Crystal Gazer and Evian, like the good ones, you know? Poland Spring is so good.

That's like the Arrowhead of the East Coast. Poland Spring regular water? Poland Spring in regular water? Like, I only think of carbonatedated oh yeah regular water yeah it's uh uh poland spring in new york was what i always drank because it tasted the most like arrowhead because they don't have arrowhead there all right when i lived back in new york when i lived on the east side my mind you know my mind my heart is in new york but i believe new york and um no but so wait there was something i need new york dude and i said i believe new york i knew someone who said

i need new york so that person is terrible i agree they also went to locking me out of high school do you know what i mean oh geez and then two years later they're like oh i need new york oh that's terrible and i was like uh i need to slap you um you know what i mean yeah that's violence yeah we don't condone that but there is something i wanted to say and now i don't remember and i'm pissed so so what do we do about that so i'm pissed i am it was interesting too god damn it couldn't have been that interesting no i hate when people say that you know what i hate when they say well if you can't remember it wasn't important yeah no but what you're so wrong about how brains work when you say that you like no the person saying okay so insecure i thought i was talking about you. It's all good. You might as well just say Bab-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee

because that is your level of intelligence. Adam Sandler. Do you know what I mean, though? Yeah. You're that dumb, so it would be easier to just go Bab-ba-ba-doob-a-d's quicker you know i like when people are up front okay it's like when people are like i'm not what if someone people like i'm not funny it's like better than someone who makes a joke and expects you to laugh and they're not funny people that know themselves are better well yeah of course so that's why people who are dumb should do that nobody really there are very few people who think they're not funny people that know themselves are better well yeah of course so that's why people who are dumb should do that nobody really there are very few people who think they're not funny

which is crazy i know right yeah i'd like to see them trying to stand up people think they know what's funny i'd like to see them trying to stand up i kill it i kill it well that was too fast what you said i don't know what it was i'd like to see him trying to stand up i kill it i kill it is what i said oh so remember uh should we talk about it or Our family member? Oh, how he's good at making bread? No. Oh. I mean, that would be so boring. Like, hey, we have a cousin that's amazing at making bread.

No. The other cousin. Well, that just happened. Our third cousin, not going to mention any names. Don't mention the name, but yeah. Said, well, you tell the story. It happened to you. Why do I?

We were in a basement. We were in a basement. Were you there? Yeah, yeah. You were there? We were celebrating grandma Dottie's 90th birthday. Oh, that's. And everybody went back to where she's, you know,

where she lives and we threw this big birthday party and the whole extended family was there. And one of them cornered Chris. Were you there? I was standing right there. Oh, you were, okay. So I was there. I thought you weren't there and I was like, I gotta get out of here. I was a different one. Oh, you were, okay. So I was there. I thought you weren't there

and I was like, I gotta get out of here. I was a different one. Oh, wait. I thought you meant on a whole trip. You mean, was I there physically in the space with you?

Yes. Yes, I was. Yes. So then both is yes. So it doesn't matter to specify. Yeah, but I thought you were talking about

a different trip that I actually didn't go on and I thought maybe you were like, were you there in total? There's no reason to be that mad at me, right? I'm fucking pissed because it was obvious.

Right? So, okay. So loud. It won't be on the microphone, so no one will know. I'm not crazy. They'll see your reaction. It was good. Well, unless they're just listening to it, which would be the worst. Then it's... They'll see your reaction. Jerk enough to guys. Little. Yeah, it was good. Well, unless they're just listening to it, which would be the worst. Then it's they'll see your reaction.

Enough to guys, little guys. And it was good. What's up? Small people. So anyway, a third base coach. Why? So. Go ahead.

Back and forth. I'm giving the sign to the audience. What do I do? So, we were in a basement. There was like an old... I don't even want to say what family member was, but it was an older person because I don't want to, you know... Yeah.

Because they listen. Yeah. And she was smoking. I guess we were there for a break. I was down there. Oh, I was smoking. You were smoking with me. She was smoking too.

That's why we were down there though. I wasn't smoking. I don't smoke. You came with me, man. But you said you were smoking with me. She was smoking too. That's why we were down there though. I wasn't smoking. I don't smoke. You came with me, man. But you said you were smoking with me. I said you were, I was smoking. You were with me is what I said. Now stop yelling at me and tell the story. I'm not yelling, but so she was there and she was smoking and she was like,

oh yeah, you were there. Now I remember it. She was like, you know, everyone always told me and one of my dream jobs and what i think i could always do but it's just like you know i would always be really good at it you know what it is and i was like wow here it comes because i knew i said what she goes like this stand up actually what she said was the smoking happened but she said stand up comedy the smoking happened but she said stand-up comedy stand in her thick in her thick east coast accent yeah i'll never forget it dude it was really wild i like it's so weird to say i could have done stand-up comedy because it's insulting too well it's like if i went up to randy johnson and i was like you know what i could do pitch yeah it is insulting but um or you go up to

david salvin you know what i could do eat a lot and get fat you know what i could have the most massive head in the entire it is insulting but i don't get insulted by it because i don't really i know but recognizing it's insulting doesn't mean you have to get it yes i know but it is it is insulting so so but it's so weird because you it's it's one of those things that. You just you have to it has to be your whole life. So it's not even like, do you have the talent? You you just the reason why you're not a stand upup comic is because you're not a stand-up comic you don't have the drive to do that also didn't do it i know it's the weirdest the real reason you're

not the biggest reason you're not is because you never did it it's the weirdest thing because nobody says like you know i could have been a surgeon like it's just it's stand-up comedy that's the thing i always thought i think they do that with entertainment positions as well acting they think that they do but yeah but yeah i guess they do yeah they do yeah singer yeah they do that for sure yeah to be loved oh what a feeling to be loved all right should we go should we do yeah i forget what i was going to say about the thing something about waters and then something else happened, and I'm pissed off doesn't matter All right, all right. Let's go into it here. We go. What's up you guys? I have a simple but important question for you

Yes, I'm tanning. Yes. Take that out of your nose. No Okay, sorry, then you might be a cultural thing in our racist. All right shit. I was racist fuck. It's okay What's up, you guys? I have a simple but important question for you. I've been tanning recently at the pool at my apartment complex. Now you can imagine the commenters that come on a daily basis and I'm trying to get my tan on. Right. that come on a daily basis and I'm trying to get my tan on. Right.

Now it's come to the point where I have a huge tan line over down where my package resides. And I've been pondering getting a Speedo to minimize the amount of blank canvas, if you will. We get it. I mean, the terminal wedges, guys. And I'm trying to optimize my tanning gains. So would that be the most cocksuckingest thing I could do or should I get a speedo? Thank you guys.

I remember the thing that I was going to say. Wow. Okay. So let's put a pin in that. This guy's great. This question is great. I take back the thing about the nose. I think it looks good on him.

It actually does. You look cool. I remember the thing before we get into it okay go ahead i was at the gym okay i was working out you know as i do my i was getting my back all nice something like that doing squats something like that is right yeah but i mean my shit was getting like i was sweaty because i get into it oh were you getting yoki doodle dandied on your legs so um i'll take that joke right from me can't really do it anymore so but um that's okay you know you want something to lose some but that

was more of a tie so um gonna lose sleep over it you know so sleeping hasn't been so good lately but so uh actually the last two nights were good anyway i'm getting sidetracked so uh let's reel it in let's reel it in what if i forgot a story at the gym dude come on again so you need me i do that all the time what i do that all the time i will be in the middle of saying something yeah completely forget what it was completely dude and then just be like okay in my head i'm going okay it's gone and i'm like i don't want everybody to know it's gone. And I'm like, I don't want everybody to know it's gone, obviously, so I'll just be like, I'll do something like this. It's just,

you know? Oh, wow. You know? And then just pray for rain, you know? Just let them be like, yes, exactly, you know? And this guy was talking

to another guy locked by me and said, straight up, and I did not hear it wrong, he said, it depends on the different advices he was going to give us.

What? Yeah. Did you look and it was Arnold Schwarzenegger? No. And I looked and I was like, oh, he's going to turn around and be like, I love the show. Right. Of course. Yeah.

Kept walking. Just said it for real. Whoa. Yeah. Isn't that crazy that he walked by me and did that, by the way? Yeah. Like I heard that. How many seconds before you thought it might be for you? immediately oh oh really who the fuck says advices well i mean

arnold schwarzenegger was american oh he didn't have an accent no okay yeah if he had an accent i'd be like oh wow i wouldn't even think it was for us yeah i don't know people you know what i've realized because of this show people don't know how to say the thing that they mean when they come on the show or ask me for advice in one-on-one. They say, the advice I came to you for. And it's like, no, you don't provide the advice. You ask things and I give you the advice. But that's what they mean.

So correcting them is pointless. They don't mean, you know, it's just like the way people use the word advice is wrong almost always. They're probably nervous. Well, I make people nervous. And frankly, I always have made people nervous. And it's just this glint in my eye. It's my vibe.

Well, I'll assume you're usually like this. It's my vibe. It's just like I contain, I possess multitudes. You're a menace. I obtain, I fucking contain multitudes. John Kamalkovich. Were you doing that? No. Oh, I mean john malkovich multitudes were you doing that no i mean john malkovich i was getting frustrated i fucking contain multitudes all right so um

this guy is great i am a big speedo guy he looked you look like you're in i have a question roughly you're in good shape not i'm being like you here i think but like i i don't know if i fully understood the question he's saying should i wear speed know if i fully understood the question he's saying should i wear speedos or not oh that's it he's saying is it okay to wear speedos at like a i think it was an apartment complex of course it is okay and also like if you've got that nose thing you're the man the speedo is not going to be the thing that people talk about right it doesn't matter if you literally were naked and had a ball peen hammer swinging from the tip of your fucking uncircumcised cock. John Malkovich!

Why are you doing it like that? I don't know, dude. I'm laying it down today. John Malkovich lays it down. Maybe I'm just feeling like I'm laying it down. Anyway, if you had a ball peen hammer swinging from the tip of your fucking cock, I would not be looking at that. I would be looking at the thing in your nose.

And everyone else would too. In the movie, in the line of fire, John Malkovich on the phone with clint eastwood if you had a ball ping swinging around your cock deleted scenes um so what we did here we cut this one because it wasn't john malkovich went off the rails it wasn't quite you know it didn't quite make sense with with goldman script i don't know who wrote it i think you know who wrote it i think it's somebody william goldman wrote that yeah damn really i'm good at that knowing things i know things more uh they say he secretly wrote uh dog day no he did write dog day they say he secretly wrote um ben affleck matt damon oh they say it was him secretly but that i think that's a

conspiracy but that's what they say it's not a conspiracy it's like a it's like an unconfirmed rumor yeah that's not quite a conspiracy no it's not because that's a thing people have thought for a while and they just don't know who did it i think why don't you think it was them because they never wrote anything ever that's that's what i think happened is they wrote the script right and so harvey was like this will be a giant money-making machine if only it was a good script so then he was like i'm gonna hire a ghost writer who was the man pay that writer a million dollars but in that payment right right make sure they don't keep credit you know interesting uh because you know that made those guys stars huh that? If that's what happened, that could not have worked.

Yeah. Better. No way. Even close. Like that is the greatest possible one in a million possible outcome. I know. Crazy, right? Anyway.

Yeah. Yeah. Speedos are totally okay. You know. Also, the speedo thing. It's like people are already looking at you and making comments. Put a speedo on dude. Yeah.

Exactly. Like just spread your legs. You don't keep going. Keep going. And the next time just only wear a condom. Yeah. Just a condom. Be like,

sorry, I'm trying to get the tan maximized. Also. And then, uh, either another condom Magnum, which is the ones I'm familiar with. If you need advice,

let me know. Cause you need those. Those are the ones that go in your butt, right? And you put them around your balls, which are bigger than typically the bigger than your dick. And then so you have two condoms dangling. That's it. That's what I got for you.

Or a surface. All right, next. Hi, Matt. Hello. Hi, Chris. So didn't even want to say it to you. I saw you in Salt Lake. So she did. So good. Okay, rewind it. So didn't even want to say it to you. I just saw you in Salt Lake. So she did.

So good. Okay, rewind it. I want to see how she did it like that. I want to see how she did it like that. I want to see. Vince Vaughn. She did like me because she wanted to see me. So let's not say it.

Hi, Matt. Okay. Hi, Chris. Yeah. Dude, it was like she was disappointed in the show. I just saw you in Salt Lake. Yeah, but she wasn't looking so good She's making up for it. Now. You're making up for it. We had the best time ever. Thank you

Okay, I'm in this mom group Texts in my neighborhood cool that I don't want to be in Oh And I've asked politely to be removed from this group text three different times. Oh, I know what happened. And they won't do it.

And I can't leave the text message. Why? You know how you can go in and leave? Yeah. I can't. What? Whoever created it has to remove me. Oh, that's hilarious. It's like a...

What do I do? I've asked three times over the last like two months, keep getting caught in this group text. Dude, that's so funny. Keep showing up. I didn't know you can not leave a group. How do I do it without being rude? How do I ask yet again? Thanks for your time.

Well, you've asked there's a great end shot there. You asked politely three times, right? Yeah. Yeah, that's very weird. It's like a black hole. Once you pass the line of no return, you just can't get out.

That's not how it's supposed to be. It's like the mafia is what it's like. It's like once you're in, you're in for life. I feel like what happened is that... Sure. I feel like what happened is... Checking your fucking stats. I wasn't, dude.

I was trying to think of the term event horizon, but I didn't even need my phone. Baby, baby. Why were you trying to think of the term event horizon? Because she passed the event horizon and is now stuck in the black hole and can't get out that's why you were on your phone yeah but it didn't need to be so but the fucking mafia thing was better anyway no no mine's better because it's smarter yours is better because it's dorkier no well it's smarter mafia is better because i'm

like a real fucking alpha you're a fucking thug and they're stupid and they go to jail okay scientists and geniuses get lauded and lionized no they go to jail too look at the fucking uh birdie madoff and the girl who did the fucking. He's not a scientist, dude. He's a fucking con man. He's a genius though. I think what happened is you asked, maybe, okay, let's put it this way.

You've asked three times. So maybe one time it got buried. Yeah, give it a grace period of one. One time it got buried. Maybe two times it got buried, but maybe not. a grace period of one. One time it got buried, maybe two times it got buried, but maybe not, maybe the second time some people saw it and was like, oh, it's not up, I can't remove them. I think the person who started it just maybe

hadn't seen it text, whoever started it, text them and be like, yo, please take me off the group chain. Cause here's the problem. If you, the people who keep going back to that group even if they take you off or then or even if they start a new one when they go to type it in the thing for the search the old one's going to come up and you're going to get those texts yeah so you have to go to the person who started the text yeah and say you got to take me off this thing this way this text this way when any whenever

anybody texts from that you won't get it i took it as a given that she went to the person who started it but maybe no maybe she didn't she probably just said it in the drop the text and dude dropping a text on a chain of nine people the chances that even three of them see that text are low you know i mean like on average it's like two or three probably see it. I'm on several threads like that because I have a lot of friends and work associates and stuff like that. So like I have a lot of big, big, big text chains with a lot of people. I don't have a big social network. And so I don't, it's like I don't always see the things and I miss out on conversations.

And then like a hundred texts came and I'm like, I don't know what somebody said 20 minutes ago and i'll never know because i ain't scrolling right dude i rolls i was on a text chain i went i i didn't look at it for a few hours like i was just in the living room and shit like with my family dude i picked up my phone later 298 texts on one text chain oh i've had that i've i've had that i swear it got up to like 450 there's this one text chain i'm on that is and has been going on for like 12 years or something with three other of my best friends and it's i'll leave my phone sometimes for 30 minutes and i'll come back there's 400 texts oh my god it's how many how many what people four total oh my god yeah so it's just three people doing that yeah um so yeah so that's what i would do if not though you got to drive over to the person that's the thing if that person

if you go directly that person and they still don't do it you got to say when's a good time to come to you i'll meet you wherever there you go you'll hand me your phone you can look over my shoulder make sure i don't do anything nefarious and you'll see how to also i'll teach you how to get rid of something it'll be a lesson it'll be good for everybody i'll give you a free lesson on how to use your phone better that's it want a free lesson yeah text that exactly of what text removal yeah no just say do you want a free lesson and then then they say for what say it's free who doesn't want a free lesson and then then they say for what say it's free who doesn't want a free lesson get them to say yes before they know what it is you know you want a free lesson yeah what is it it doesn't matter you want free less everyone's something

free sure ding dong you're already out there all right so um yeah that's good that's good advice and thanks for coming to the show on salt lake that one actually was a special one thank you also sometimes don't bypass it what i said but yeah sometimes you just gotta be mean oh that is true don't allow you the respect of being nice then you have no choice but to be mean they're not giving you a choice and you know how you have you know who you actually have to tell this to a lot people from utah and she was in salt lake city because utah is full of smiles okay and okay yeah okay, yeah, Ohio. Everyone's great. Wait, Ohio or Utah? She said, oh no.

I liked it. I liked it. I didn't like it. I knew you wouldn't like it. That's why I was smiling and nodding before you even said it to get the positivity out of it before I even got the negativity. Go ahead. What a dumb shit thing, you know? Yeah, well. Alright, next. Okay. What is up Uh-oh, you know? All right. Next.

Okay. What is up, D'Elia brothers? Hands up. I'm coming at you live from New York City. A beautiful guy. With a pretty tough dilemma I'm in. Late night talk show. Oh, guy. Late night talk show host.

About three weeks, and we've been on about three dates. Sorry, over. Matt talked over it. He's so beautiful. Look at him, dude. It's like he's a painting in the 16th century. Why is he rewarning it and not just why don't you just play it down? He doesn't know how to do it, dude.

Yep. Marco didn't tell him. It's Marco's fault, not his. Anthony. What is up, D'Elia brothers? I'm coming at you live from New York City. That's our show host. With a pretty tough dilemma I'm in.

So I've been dating this girl for about three weeks and we've been on about three dates. And she's great. She's beautiful, funny, great in bed. We really get along well and I really like her. Except for one thing. Oh boy. She is a horrible kisser. She kisses with her mouth fully agape,

sticks her tongue down my throat, really just doesn't know what she's doing in that regard. Nice. So I'm wondering if at this stage in the relationship, about three weeks, one month in, is it okay for me to make a comment on it and maybe try to coach her on it a little bit? Or should I break things off and try to find a woman who sort of checks all the boxes? I mean, obviously kissing is a really important part of any relationship and I mean, obviously, kissing is a really important part of any relationship. And I kind of take a more simple and surgical approach to French kissing.

So it's important to me. Patrick Bateman, dude. This is a big thorn in my side. So I would love to share your thoughts on it. And thanks so much for the podcast, guys. Thanks. Okay, first things first, you're a beautiful man. Second thing, you're a serial killer dude uh so but okay so why i i don't let me first of all don't break up with her you got to try to

change not but you don't want to do it like a sly little devil you just gotta say something like hey i i want to try kissing in this one way can you try this with me what do you mean no i'm a master at this okay no but but just be like you don't want to be like hey let me coach you at a kiss yeah that's so rude and even if it you even if it's true it'll alienate her and make her feel like a fucking idiot you don't want to idiot. You don't want her to think that because that's not even true. She just kisses differently. Now, that being said, I've kissed people who it's as if we learned kissing on different planets in completely different eras of our existence. You pull away and she's green with eyes.

She's holding her eyes. Would be less of a surprise than the the way this some people kiss oh that makes sense some people yeah yes some people kiss it's like the mars attacks people like the jaw just opens and then the tongue is just like nice that's my style disgusting it's so hot it's like it's like a great it's like abrasive is what it is dude not not it's not how people kiss but here's here's what you got to wonder beautiful man here's what you got to wonder she's kissed people before so theoretically those people also kissed that way because here's what never happens

but this never happened you go to kiss somebody and somebody and you, because it's your very first kiss, you're insecure. You match the way they're doing it because you don't know how to do it. It's human nature, of course. It's just like anything else. You're going to follow the person who knows how to do the thing.

There you go. At least in your mind. But that just answered the question. Maybe that person that she learned on was a terrible coach, terrible kisser, terrible leader whatever you want to call it and later ruined her ability to kiss for the rest of her life now in this

instance the reason i painted this picture is that so you have sympathy for her you don't want to be like hey you kiss bad let me show you you want to be like hey you kiss different than me can i show you like the way that i do it like it's it's like make it a thing a fun thing now go say the wrong thing that's not right go ahead chris and go ahead and do the wrong thing you've been talking too long you did say the right answer in there somewhere but not the point i only said one thing you said a bunch of different things too correct because i said i contain multitudes it's true i mean just fucking gave up no it's true immediately i said one thing no you didn't you're right i say in that one thing there are many budding flowers of other things a scientist so a botanist so i got it i said it first so i i got it i didn't need you there well um

i've got two ideas that you might want to explore one is dude it's probably not true but make sure you're not the bad kisser yeah but how do you do that the only way you do that he's got great looks and the lips and so i doubt it's him but also sometimes the best looking people have the least clue how to do anything because everybody's afraid to correct them and also they don't have to because they're just hot right sure but that's another reason why they would be afraid to have to it's like nobody even approaches them about how they do it because it's like that's why they're sexier than me even though that guy's not sexy me but josh lieberman so and that's like me but so um so what you should do is not what matt said what you should do is not what Matt said. Interesting.

What you should do is when you're kissing, say, hey, hey, hey. Whatever it is, say you want it to slow down or whatever. Slow down. Slow down. Boom. Get in. And then, you know what I mean? The reason I wasn't looking is because I knew you were going to do something.

Or, or, hey, hey, I got this. A cholo, a cholo, a cholo. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, yo, hey, hey, hey. Playing a Game Boy, playing a Game Boy. A sailor, a sailor. Game Boy's so dumb. So, so, you have to make sure that you're the lead here. You can't say, Hey, I want to try, which is what Matt's bitch ass said, or, Hey, should we do it like this? Which is what Matt's bitch ass said. Hey, check this out. Hey, slow it down. Speed it up. Do like this. Open your mouth. Let me check it out like this. That kind of thing. Yeah. And also sure uh deep in your mind that uh it's not you

but but but that i don't know those things make me laugh so much yeah me too but that kind of humor that i don't think that's like inherently not the right i'm hot it's hot right here in here. Woo, we're in the summertime here. Woo! It's 150 degrees. Yes, dude. So go ahead. I fucking forgot. Oh, oh, you aren't, it's not that you're wrong. It's that I'm more right. Right, so like you could do what he said.

I actually believe that. You could try that, but like, there's something like insincere about that. I'm sexy. No. Wait, me? You're trying to be sexy. No, no, you're not. You know what you like, and you're letting her know.

Hey, this is what she would want anyway, by the way. She'd rather that. No, see, this is the part, only part we disagree on. I think it's better to be like inviting instead of commanding right no i don't think so yeah and that's clear and that's why my advice is better okay do you want to do the next one well let's do the next one i guess different advices hey matt hey chris so i have a question regarding sending nudes for money i'm just gonna jump right into it oh boy so i have this anonymous person who had dm'd me a few years ago asking for feet picture I knew it

apparently I know this person I went to school with this person he uses an anonymous account so I I don't know who the person is so he offered $50 for feet pics and of course I without hesitation. Thank you. As time went on, the request got a little more and more detailed slash explicit. Yeah. So I guess my question to you is if you were, by the way, I'm in a relationship. If you were in a relationship and your significant other was receiving these messages from an anonymous person asking for either cheat pics news videos of me peeing um my face is not in any of these photos i just want your opinion so in our relationship we have developed a lot of trust so there's no way that this exchange has gone beyond like an internet

communication okay but i get paid a couple hundred dollars it started with fifty dollars for the feet pics and then i don't want to get like too explicit yeah i don't want you to get shadow man but Wow another one was like a photo of me and leggings with a camel toe with my camel toe showing right um and then recently he asked for a video a lot more explicit but that's I kind of draw the line with some of the all right I gosh, I can't even fully finish. I draw the line at some of his requests. Yeah. Either way, my question is,

would you feel comfortable if you were in a relationship and your girlfriend, fiance, or maybe even wife was sending pictures for money if you guys are trying to pay for a house? Yeah. And what? You guys are trying to pay for a house. Yeah. And what? You guys are trying to pay for a house. Here's the thing. I don't know. Here's the thing. I don't think so.

It's actually rather clear cut to me. You shouldn't necessarily be opposed to doing it, but because everything you just said is the truth, you should just involve your husband or boyfriend or whoever and say, this loser lunatic wants to be to send him pictures of my feet and like my pussy outside my leggings.

I don't think that's that like, you're going to pay for nudes. But it's like some pathetic guy that like, she knew. Well, that's the weird thing to me is like if it's somebody you knew then it feels like he's getting off on he knows you and you don't know him and like he's making you do stuff even though you are married or in a relationship and uh this is why you involve the husband and then you take

ownership of it yeah what i'm saying is you don't even have to be like hey i have something to confirm you've already done it too much so that's i understand that's a problem but what you should have done is after the feet pick been like wait a second that wasn't the right thing i should have consulted whatever that wasn't the most trustworthy act go to him and you should have gone to him and said hey we can make a little extra money are you comfortable with this if the answer is no then you don't do it yeah yeah yeah but if the answer is yes which it could very well be again if you're trying to buy a house every dollar counts right yeah but she was asking us if we'd be comfortable with that and my answer is no absolutely not no no no no if that's the question not even at all if i learned that about my partner

i mean i would just be like i would be so mad at her yeah me too i would be so mad so would i you know if they were sending even feet pics i'd be like what are you doing i wouldn't be so mad if it was just feet pics like if if kristen came to me and she was like dude some guy offered me i mean she would never do this for 50 but i don't know if she would but she was like i 50 for feet pics i well it would be so weird so i would be like for 50 like so she was like, can I get you five grand for feet pics? Yeah. I'd be like, why did you do this and not tell me about this? I wouldn't have thought that about the feet.

Anything beyond the feet. Beyond the feet. The way people are about feet. Beyond the feet. The foot fetish is so absurd and disgusting to me. Oh, really? I don't even consider it sexual. It's so ludicrous.

It's like, if somebody wanted my girlfriend to to like pay her, like you said, five grand for pics of her feet. She did it and then didn't tell me. I wouldn't even think a thing about it. I'd just be like, good job. You got five grand. But I mean, then there's pictures of her vagina. Right, right, right. That's a totally different ballgame.

Camel toe. Yeah, that's not. Yeah, yeah. I agree. I agree. I agree, actually. Beyond the Feet. Yeah.

Beyond the Feet starring Michael Caine and Tobey Maguire. Wow. Worst movie of all time. Were both of those people in Cider House Rules? Yeah. I was imagining they were in a house and talking about, you can't keep sending pictures of your feet. Right.

Most boring movie ever. Just them two. I would wait in line to see that movie. All right. Directed by. I would wait in line to see that movie. All right. Directed by Yes, we would care a lot. Darren Aronofsky. And let me tell you

something else. So would every other guy. So like Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also so would every other woman. Nobody's cool with that. Yeah. You know what?

I think you know that because the part that you laughed at was right when it was like it was like you knew the answer that we were going to give you. And deep down you knew the answer that we were going to give you and deep down you know the answer that you think obviously that's not cool yeah i'm not saying you're like a fucked up person no no no because here's the deal if you're gonna go to your husband

boyfriend whatever and say hey listen i fucked up yeah uh this guy offered me money for feet pics i thought nothing of it because it's just feet. One thing turned into another. I got caught up in the stupid thing. I sent him pictures of me in leggings. I know it's dumb and I feel really badly. If my wife came to me like that, I would be like hurt, but I would be way more empathetic and understanding. But if you're like, dude, what if it's her husband? I thought the same thing.

You thought that before? I did, yeah. I thought while she was talking, I was like, it's her husband. What a madman you are, dude. If she just says it and he's like, I know. Exactly. Shows her the pics, you know? Then he'd be the fucking asshole.

And then I'd be like, hey, leave that relationship right now. All right. uh then he'd be the fucking asshole and then i'd be like hey leave that relationship right now um all right so you have a bunch of answers and a bunch of hypotheticals and a bunch of uh good advices from us yeah that was a good question great question and we get why you want it to be anonymous yep polish stephen soderbergh what's up chris what's up matt uh congratulations chris on the new addition to the family. Thanks, dude. Congratulations, Matt, on keeping your life a secret. You guys are sick.

Let's get into it. Thank you for noticing. A really good friend came to me, and he's been having problems with his best friend of like 14 years it's a while ago his best friend was seeing his ex he dated this girl for like five years and then his friend started seeing her and he messed him up but that's what he found out that didn't work out and then he kind of started talking to him again well now he just found out he's now dating his most recent ex oh dude are you and he's like just yeah he's gonna lose it he's spun up was trying really hard not to show it like i could

tell it was yeah what is up with this other guy uh i didn't really know what to say all i said was did you ask him if your meaner tasted good okay just to try to make him laugh but okay yeah okay yeah hopefully you guys can give me some much better guys to get them all right thanks guys dude that's what is up with this other guy uh i mean that's like yeah the guy's just got a real big problem right the other guy the guy that's doing the fucking yeah uh the other guy's just like trying to still be friends with him and letting him back in like that's the normal yeah that's fucked up that dude is fucked up that guy's terrible dude like people i know people like that everybody knows people like that whether they realize it

or not they know people like that but like dude that is not me nobody that is a nobody that is a poison person there are people like that that's just like doesn't matter i found that out doesn't matter what's going on in their life doesn't matter who they're friends with doesn't matter what age they are but they're made out of fucking poison dude yeah they're just bad people like this and honestly i don't like that that i'm saying this but like you shouldn't even let that guy back in in the first place, man. And if they did, it wouldn't be as good. My shit rocks.

Dude, shut the fuck up. All right. I can see your balls, basically. If you do the horizontal mambo with me, I'm unforgettable, dude. Okay. Okay. Do you have advice, or you just wanna talk about that? Yeah, I do.

Find out the guy's exes and try to have sex with them. I mean. So petty. No, I mean, i mean dude i don't that's drop that dude you're saying fight him no no drop drop him as a friend yeah uh no don't ever fight yeah obviously yeah that's yeah you don't need that kind of shit in your life i mean obviously but i have buddy i had a buddy that would try and do that. Never was successful. Because, like, again, I lay it down. Same guy.

I know you. Oh, yeah, yeah. We know you. I lay it down. I mean, me, too. Really? Yeah. That's a weirdo.

Yeah, that's who I'm talking about. But I know more than one person like that. But I know who you're talking about. Yeah. I mean, did it to me. Did it to me. So, you know, I'm talking about someone I'm very very close to so i know very well um so yeah no i uh that's like you know this is the kind of stuff you know what happens but when you hear it you're like what come on

um yeah that guy's gotta drop the guy the advice is for him though you gotta tell the dude to drop the other guy well he's obviously gonna do that but i think i think you're yeah okay make sure that guy never is friends with that guy ever again yeah yeah but also like you have the right instinct if you're trying to cheer him up make him laugh and highlight the absurdity of the situation the the the worst thing to possibly draw from that is that that's how male friends are yeah because that is not true no most male friends would not do that even in the first place, let alone twice in a row. And the second time when you're patching things up after the first time, like this guy's like a psycho,

like a psychopath. Well, he's probably, maybe he's even getting off on it, which is then it's like you're a pawn in his twist. It's a kink probably, yeah. Which is so, which is weird. Cause it's like, that's an interesting question. Is that like a homosexual kink? Cause like the target is the man.

No. But you're involving the man. But it's not a homosexual kink. Homosexual is dick and butt and that's it. I mean, I don't agree with that. Yeah, homosexual is dick and butt. Well, I know, no, that's not a one-to-one. That means guys like a guy.

Homosexual sex for men is a dick in a butt. Yeah, there you go. There you go, dude. You can be homosexual and not fuck a guy, though. You can just want to. Right, so that's what I'm saying. Maybe it's a weird, circuitous, indirect kink of this guy. Could be circuitous.

Where he's like, he's getting off specifically on hurting the guy, which I'm asking if that's gay. No, that's not gay. Okay. No, that's just twisted. You know what? If you saw my balls you saw my balls you'd know so don't see like you could see my balls almost i have short time man all right if you saw my balls you'd know okay well that's actually true of everyone's balls no one my balls are big would look at someone balls and not someone's balls and not know my balls are big that's not even good they're so grotesquely huge

i need to get it checked and it's not good okay you have elephant titus of the balls yep cool man like stan marsh when he's willing we'll barron him out around in that one episode of south park dude that show's so funny it is okay what's up we got one more um so sexy what's up chris and matt i'm the real thor so i'm here in osgard and there's no way that that my dad odin is just being a dick adam levine song hey love love love love i'm just loving love wow i'm just loving love he did it did pause it lost his mind my favorite part is because i said it look at thor my favorite part is people who have not seen the episode where you're doing that then saw him do that and are so clueless about what's going on and i'll hate this guy because of it because if this guy no oh if i didn't see

your shit though yeah and so i'd be like this guy's a fucking asshole for doing this the exact opposite that's funny i like everything about him you would and start it over please anthony i think he deserves the respect he does he does he does have an uninterrupted sheer ballsness of it look he figured it out because marco never would have figured it out yep made the episode anthony's better what's up chris and matt just your call i'm just listening right now and there's no way that that song isn't an Adam Levine song. It's not. It's not.

It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not.

It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not.

It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not.

It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not.

It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not.

It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not.

It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. just said so handsome. Handsome. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.

Love and love. Love and love. Dude. E-on, E-on. Wearing no pants. That's the end of the song. I mean, is that he thinks. There's no advice. He thinks it's actually Adam Levine who sings that?

I guess so, yeah. He's suggesting the possibility that's Adam Levine while not knowing whether it really is. Oh, oh. Then why is he doing the E-on, E-on? suggesting the possibility that's adam levine while not knowing whether it really is oh i thought then why is he doing the eat on eat on i don't have any idea i thought maybe he thought it was a real song that does that maybe he does maybe he does is there a song where adam levine he said it wrong he said it wrong so i'm pissed at him no he just said the whole thing wrong so i'm pissed he didn't say it's that song by adam lev. He said it sounds like an Adam Levine song.

Okay. Oh, right, right, right. Yeah. He's writing Adam Levine, Love and Life. Oh. No. No, no, no. That's the, yeah.

No. He lied. He lied. He's a sexy guy and he lied. Okay. Dude, go to the next dude. Oh, is that a real guy? Let's do another one.

Shit, Scott Wolf. I mean, dude. What chris what up what up matt uh i have a question that i need a tiktoker johnny bravo and it is regarding my roommate and i watch hey chris hey man he does this thing that drives me crazy okay and he takes my hair dryer during the movie whether it's asking me questions about the movie don't ask me questions this is both of our first times watching yeah dude thank you that's funny or he's just making side comments at the whole movie so annoying also how's the bitch is it to be on a bike that's too tall for you and you're trying to get off well yeah you gotta do that thing on your tiptoes that's good that's that just wanted to bring that that is but yeah thank you any advices would be great yeah he really understands he does get it's a bitch but he

doesn't understand that he would just say how bitch is it he said how's the bitch is it and that's not right it's not wrong it's not wrong it's not like yeah some people say so so bitch that's wrong wrong it you just say isn't it bitch it's so bitch when a guy does it but he's got the right sense of what bitch is he's right though i think he can say okay all right either in either case he's johnny bravo because of his hair so either case he's scott wolf okay so plays johnny bravo in the fucking a24 film so what does he say idiot what did he say it's called bravo with scott wolf it's my first thing him not you hey i'll just uh my my legs are too small for my body

i mean no 24 okay um what was this question exactly are we talking through movies oh yeah dude tell him to shut the fucking fuck up it's that simple i i knew you know what i do this is what i do because kristen don't just you do that simple i i knew you know what i do this is what i do because kristen will just you do that man i do yeah but i do it for the good one i do the good ones everybody thinks they do the good one but i also pause it when i do it that's even more annoying when someone out of without asking pauses it what what you know what kristen does dude it will be like a whole scene with no dialogue. Okay. And then a guy will go. And then Kristen will be like, did you read the email?

And I'm just like, babe, he took a huge breath. You knew he was going to talk and he didn't talk for. Yeah. Dude, it's so annoying. Here's something that is probably so not true, but it's something i deeply feel and will probably never not feel i feel like i know when to talk and other people have no idea when me too really that's weird dude i i'm i'm like this yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah dull moment establishing shot is that guy dave the guy they were talking about driving shot yeah you talk then yeah action sequence you talk then yeah you don't talk

when people are like revealing information dude it's insane yeah yeah yeah yeah chicks be really doing that it even bothers me when i'm watching the mets and someone like there's big lulls it's annoying when anyone's talking when anyone keith hernandez starts to talk and someone's just like oh matt did you and i'm just like yeah yeah wait a second i hate it i hate it i hate it um and then and then you seem like a dick when you pause it and go back they're like oh sorry that's my move though that's my move my move is when kristen does that i go like this i literally go like this uh-huh so she knows what's up but that's what i just said yeah and you said it's

dick when they when they act like they're put out when you got purpose good no i'm no no no no no what i'm saying is that you when you do that in your case christian if you were to do that and christian's like oh i'm sorry did i talk over the movie i say yes that's dick when i do that in your case christian if you were to do that and christian's like oh i'm sorry did i talk over the movie i say yes that's dick when i do that but it's too late they already they already committed the crime she's already dick yeah if that happened it's like a crime it's like a concurrent additional sentence yes there you go yeah yeah and she should go to jail she should go to jail for that well for a few days yeah whatever a week no um no yeah it's it's just it's it's talking during movies is okay it is okay just do it at the right times have this conversation with him if he's doing it at the wrong times that's a crime yeah if he's not doing it at the wrong times if he's doing it when

one guy's in a car driving it's going to be okay action sequence yeah if he does it during lulls that's on you montage he's doing it right yeah if he's doing it when there are lulls there's the it's the art of movie talking really but also what if he's just annoying he might just be saying the guy's annoying whenever he says his roommate right yeah so then yeah you can't not watch movies with him so right yeah you just you didn't do the thing i did pause it and turn to him it'll take six hours to watch the movie but yeah that guy's got to know he'll get it okay and and uh also there's i mean it's just yeah i mean has he had the conversation with him i don't know probably not he's gonna be like yo bro stop talking during the fucking movie that's what i said do that effort try that first

yeah absolutely be like hey why are you always talking during the times we're supposed to be listening to something I'm trying to watch Hello Live and it's not fucking working most of the day you can say anything anytime you want why don't you just wait stop I'm doing calisthenics so yeah I agree it's horrible but the guy has a fucking bitchin ass hair

his hair was one of a kind as far as non cartoon humans His hair was one of a kind. As far as non-cartoon humans, his hair was tippy top. And for that reason, he's my best friend. Wow. Yeah.

I'm going to email him after this. Okay. Let's do it. Hi, Chris and Matt. I'm Jason Statham. Chris here. Big fan.

Love the podcast. Love what you guys do. Beautiful voice. Beautiful voice. Chris has been a baby for a long time. Hell yeah. Thanks for all the laughs over the years. Thank you.

There's many more. Just walking my son. Aw. Hey. Aw, cute, wow, look at that. Look at that boy. So quick question for you guys. My friend's here visiting and we're going through

all the movies you're watching when you're younger. I'm 32 years old now. So in our teens we used to watch Your Highness, Pineapple Express, Get Him to the Creek, Step Brothers, Talladega Nights. Right, listing every movie. Comedies that push the boundaries. Other movies like. And obviously now you don't get anything like that. Is there a reason why? Is it the whole woke culture? Yeah. Is it, you know, people are just scared to make, you know, movies that push boundaries anymore. I don't know.

Let me know your thoughts. Love you guys. Keep up the good work. See ya. Thanks, buddy. Adorable son. You want to know movies that push boundaries.

Look at movies that were made before Talladega. Nice, bro. If that's what you're looking for, go further back. Don't look at stuff now. You want to find fucking movies with cojones mega big nutsacks yeah you go back in time you don't go to the movie theater in 2023

yeah dude everything is made for as many people as possible to go see it which means families yeah exactly means a 32 year old man is not going to think it had fucking cojones i know and then literally like in the 80s they make them probably made a movie called somewhere well i mean that's not exactly i know what he's asking for believe that but i'm just saying like they didn't give a fuck no they weren't they weren't catering to anybody they were just like we're gonna do well however i mean there's all different kinds of movies so it's true of comedies it's true of action movies true dramas it's true of horror you get just way more wild shit being made because they don't feel like somebody's watching them over their shoulder telling them that everything they did is wrong or offensive or

bad for this or bad for that everybody was kind of operating with way way more latitudes it's not just a way bigger leash he's 32 doesn't know this but like yeah but if you go back yeah it's insane just go further back dude don't yeah don't bother and your kid will be better off for it he'll see older shit have a wider scope of like what's interesting and like he'll have a bigger cooler brain and you know he'll be better served but what he's saying is a generational thing too though there are there will always be that when i was younger things were better no matter what happened that's not even what he's saying he's not saying no he's saying. He's not saying that. No he's not saying that. Well okay I mean I assume that's what he meant. But he's also objectively correct about movies. If he said it about life in general sure

that's what everybody says about every generation always. Right yeah. But about movies it's just true. It's been slowly defanged over the years to the point now that even you know like everything is either animated a sequel or already a popular book or video game the original stuff now is like next to zero and when it is adapted it's way watered down you know it's just like it's it's tough dude but uh the good news is you got like you know a hundred years worth of stuff made before even the aughts which are the movies you're talking about which when they were made so just go backwards man just look at like random lists you find online like what's the best of this kind of movie that kind of movie what's the most like you know craziest comedy like i mean your highness is like the movie your

highness you know like blazing saddles you want to like nobody said no i'm not talking i know but i am i'm saying okay go ahead uh yeah but like if you want crazy, you want to like just go back? No, I'm not talking to you. I know, but I am. I'm saying, okay, go ahead. Yeah, but like if you want crazy comedies, dude, just like 70s. Blazing Saddles. 70s only, yeah. Would straight up never make that movie. No, no way, dude. And if they did, it wouldn't be Mel Brooks who made it.

Yeah, true. True. True, yeah. It'd be Ben Shapiro's company. All right, that's it. Great. Thank you very much, Lifeline. Dude, I'll be in uh knoxville

nashville and uh charlotte and las vegas let's go come through little rock little rock arkansas uh get your merch at lifelinemerch.com sign up for our patreon to get the extra shows patreon.com lifeline luxury uh and uh leave a comment what water you like what water is the fucking what's wrong with arrowhead but also the other bad waters dasani aquafina and what else yeah arrowhead's not the worst water uh aquafina and dasani are if you want a one-on-one appointment with me solve all your problems like that uh magillia.com book your session now get that merch what is it lifetimemerch.com you already said that I did do that

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