Lifeline - 68. The Crank of Mattel

Episode Date: July 30, 2023

Hate all the advice? LIFELINE LUXURY is available at patreon.com/lifelineluxury. 3 episodes this month! 🤳 Want to submit to Lifeline? Go here: forms.gle/EYbqjvyy1A9r728Y9 ☎️ You can also call the hotline at 213-973-8095 🎧 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: apple.co/3NG2G2G 🔊 Subscribe on Spotify: spoti.fi/3NPUwoT 🔗 All our links: linktr.ee/watchlifeline 💚 Lifeline is the first podcast about you, hosted by Matt D'Elia & Chris D'Elia. Today we are confronted with a controversial origin story of "Bing Bong," thoughts on thrift store shopping, advice for people in the music industry, what to expect in your 30s, confronting heavy drinking, and the boys refuse to eat crow on Barbie.  📆 Book 20 min or 40 min one-on-one sessions with Matt at mattdelia.com. More LIFELINE: 📸 Instagram: instagram.com/watchlifeline 💃 Tiktok: tiktok.com/@watchlifeline Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Let's go seize the night. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamex. Benefits vary by car and other conditions apply. We are recording an O'Valley of Plenty an O'Valley of Plenty Anthony watches The Witcher for sure.

What? It's bad. The show's bad. What's the thing you were singing? It's the song in The Witcher. That's probably just a show thing. It's not in the game. It's not? The show I've seen i've tossed a coin

to your witcher oh valley of plenty oh valley of plenty oh dude okay the witcher is the nerdiest thing i've ever seen i couldn't even believe i yeah it's just crazy how nerdy shit is. Yeah. I can't believe it. Yeah. Like who, what is going on? It's nerdy, yeah. What is going on? But the fight scenes are awesome,

but that's it. There's nothing else. Ah, shut up, dude. That doesn't matter. But you got to give props where props are due. Oh, dude. And the show's terrible. Also a nerd?

I'm not a nerd. I don't like the show. Here's the thing about fight sequences. They're all good all the time now, so none of them are good. That's not really true. Yeah, it is yeah it is dude if you have enough money they're all good because all they do is hire like experts who are amazing at fighting that's not really the technology allows sometimes it's captured really amazing way sure but like whatever you know i'm just saying i never under i never even understood the appeal of fight scenes unto themselves like who cares i know no i i don't care either i get it oh but i'm saying the the

reason what i'm doing it saying that is because when i say the witcher is the witcher is bad everyone says yeah but the fight scenes are great so i'm i'm preempting that so you're just a sheep you're like oh okay everyone says this so i'll say that no no what i'm saying is i don't want that to be the thing that you say afterwards in the comments are gonna be like yeah but the fight scenes are awesome so i'm saying the fight scenes are good the show sucks this way and the comments they don't say oh but the fight scenes are awesome you know then now you got nothing to say yeah okay well okay i mean i accept it i accept it. I accept it. Thank you, and we're done with the sentence. But I don't bow down or kowtow to pieces of poop or nerds.

The worst sentence I've ever heard in my life. I don't bow down or kowtow to pieces of poop or nerds. Or nerds. All right. You know what I was reading today, speaking of pieces of poop? Yeah. 20, they did a poll. I don't know how.

You sent this to me. I didn't look at it. I didn't send it to youah booyah and booyah i posted it on instagram and booyah triple time um triple time oh yeah triple time really booyah 3x wow um so 28 percent 3x of dog owners do not pick up after admittedly do not pick up after their dog when they take a dumpy dump in public. That's pretty crazy. 28%, and that's who admits, like, come on. Yeah. At least double that for people that don't.

I don't think that that's a big deal. For sure more than that. Oh, definitely more than that, yeah. But like, to admit to it means you don't even think it's bad. Yeah, I don't think it's bad. What are you talking about? I don't do that.

I don't leave my dog poop around. Yeah. But if somebody does, if it's not in a place like on a sidewalk or something, it doesn't bother me. Sure. If you're like on a deep hike and it's off the trail. Sure. No, no. Or if it's like next to like, you know how like on the sidewalk sometimes there's like a square of dirt with a tree in it?

Yeah. If it's over there, I don't care. Oh, dude. See, I don't. It's just the aesthetic. It's like disrespectful to the other other people it is a little disrespectful but here's the thing the cost of not disrespecting people is so minimal you just have a poop bag and pick it up and throw it away yeah you're just a you're just a lazy piece of crap yeah you're exactly what you

let your dog just do exactly it doesn't really bother me that much. What just came out of your dog's rear end. That's you. Rear end butt. What just came out of your dog's rear end butt is what you also are. Congratulations. There we go. Said Matt. Says Matt D'Elia and not Chris D'Elia.

We got patreon.com Lifeline Luxury luxury go to check out all the lifeline luxury episodes there's a bunch up there now we release at least two a month uh so there you go that's on our patreon our lifeline patreon which is patreon.com lifeline luxury and uh we often do more than two and i'll just say that we often do more than two i think we've done more than two a bunch of months so far but um and for the first month right and then we did for the first one i think so we actually haven't done only we got like how many are there up there now seven or eight i don't know six six there's six uh so anyway uh go check them out now lifeline luxury and they're great and just go binge watch it uh i'm gonna be in irvine coming up brea and

charlotte north carolina knoxville tennessee little rock arkansas nashville calgary i got a bunch of dates coming up crystalia.com i'll be in your city and if i'm not in your city i'll be close enough so come see me crystalia.com oh wow um and if you have a question click the link in the description below or go to watch lifeline.com or leave a message at the hotline. The hotline is 213-973-8095. It's in the thing. Stop cutting me off. And we love follow-up videos too, I got to say.

Follow-up videos are great because we like to catch up with you and see what's been going on and how you've implemented our advices. You know what's interesting? Speaking of implementing advices, just yesterday i saved two people's life uh how do i do that on the one-on-one advice sessions that you can book i don't know for yourself if you save people's lives at mattdelia.com and then of course last but not least you got to get that merch if you haven't gotten every single item of the merch you don't love us uh in fact you hate us if you get all the merch you love us and we're also in turn your best friends yeah you get that merch at lifelinemerch.com and yeah hey every time the word irvine is said do you think

of this irvine spoiled brats and irvine yeah yeah i do pablo francisco it's the hardest i've ever seen you not yeah not every time but a lot the hardest i've ever seen chris laugh is watching the pablo francisco what was the name of that special shoot what was that called um i don't remember bits and pieces yeah that and and we watched it with mom and dad and mom and dad were just like i remember the look on their faces they were like what is wrong with our son like he was laughing so hard i could that they were like something's wrong with that was the hardest i ever laughed at a special i think that pablo francisco that special touched like a nerve on 20 something people it was and younger too it was just so so that was really big that special yeah huge it was like a um direct line to what we

consciously or even subconsciously thought was funny it was really weird because it wasn't the jokes it was just the way it was it was great it was awesome he was so i mean he is so weird as i don't even like stand-up comedy as know, but obviously I do like really good ones, really good specials in particular. And I remember so many different things from that special. Well, I watched it three times on Christmas, so. Wow. All good. God, I thought that was so funny, dude.

Were you even doing standup at that time? No. Oh wow, that was forever. Uh-uh, yeah. So yeah, so that's what's going on over here i was in vegas and lost five g's and pissed are you really pissed or you don't care right i mean it's fine why is there popcorn on the table why is there popcorn on the table because oh poisoned it oh i know what's coming go ahead i won't go ahead i want you guys to talk

about the box office oh okay okay well and what happened at the box barbie will bomb barbie will bomb it will bomb people are like oh eat crow barbie will bomb why are people saying he crow because i said it was gonna bomb oh well first of all it didn't bomb so you can't say it will but well it will it will not make its money back it will not make its money back. It will not make its money back. The story is not over yet. I've changed my mind. I think it will. I overestimated the American public, frankly.

And I shouldn't have done that because I also know better. I never should have done that. It made more money than I thought it would, but I'm not surprised. I am telling you it will be, besides the fact that they'll sell toys from it and make their money with the toys it's metallic they don't give a fuck it will massively be it will be something that they were like it was not lucrative just as a movie by itself let me just say one thing about this okay now the whole narrative of wow i can't believe greta gerwig snuck in all this feminist stuff into this movie that is this big corporate uh mattel thing just a big toy company trying to make more

money i can't believe she snuck in this subversive feminist narrative stuff that's what they wanted there it's just it's corporate allyship it's the same thing it that like when you go on twitter there's an ad for Uber, and they're celebrating Pride Month or whatever it is. These corporations, they don't care about anything besides money. And if a certain kind of way of making jokes or a certain kind of narrative or soapbox is going to make them money, they're going to do it.

So she didn't sneak everybody. She didn't sneak anything in. That was the plan from the very beginning. So you're an idiot if you watch that movie and you're like, oh, Mattel got played by Greta Gerwig. No. Greta Gerwig is an employee for Mattel. Yeah.

And congratulations, everybody who loved it and flocked to the theater. They, you, you sucked on the cranks of a, of a corporation that doesn't give a shit about you.

All they give a shit about is making more money. So, hey, congrats. Congratulations, everybody. For what?

Sucking on the crank? Sucking on the crank of Mattel. Sucking on the crank of Mattel. Right here, bro. That's so dumb, dude dude all you did all weekend long was suck on the crank i mean all weekend long i saw it anthony got on his knees

in front of mattel and sucked on its crank okay so so and anthony thought it was better than he thought i you know what dude barbie ryan ryan reynolds or whatever the fuck his name is ryan ryan gossing is great i'm sure margot robbie is great i'm sure the movie is fine but don't kid yourselves no there is no like big feminism angle mattel wants money okay and they would say we love to wipe dog shit on our faces okay well at the office every day from the ceo on down to the people making our toys in china okay okay yeah we all rub dog shit in our face from the ceo down to our employees under sweatshop conditions making toys in china such a long press release if they thought it would make them money i'll check out this email

we got from the company what the fuck the newsletter china c-h-y-n-a um i'm telling you man yeah i i'm sure the movie's fine unto itself but come on people it's gonna bomb stop sucking on the crank of corporations all right you know crank of corporations. All right. You know, crank of corporations. Yeah. Yeah. I'm heated about it. Mission Impossible had a huge drop off. Boo.

That's a shame. I love the Mission Impossible movies. I mean, whatever. You know, they're all the same. Boy, Jeremy Renner. For the record, I haven't seen any of the movies. Oh, I've seen them all. Including Oppenheimer.

No, I've seen. I'm saying the new movies that we're all talking about. Yeah. I've seen none of them. They could all be the three best movies of all time i haven't seen yeah have you seen mission impossible anus rapture no i'm looking forward to that one though that's the next one in mission impossible anus rapture dude the names of admission possible are terrible it's weird it is weird how they like means nothing exactly they don't they don't yeah they don't

think these were dead reckoning like what dude it's so dumb they don't mean anything yeah dead reckoning what does that mean i actually don't know maybe i mean i don't know if they did i don't know what that is it could be mission impossible straight up chicken burgers i mean that dude that would that would be a possible straight up chicken burger that would be a smash hit. Mission impossible, straight up chicken burgers. That would be a smash hit. And nothing about chicken burgers. Well, I mean, let's hope not, you know? A commercial. A commercial for straight up chicken burgers.

Wow. That gun? Most bitch ass gun ever. That's James Bond. What is it? What is it? It's a dork, it's a dork. That's James Bond.

No, he's right. It's... There you go. There you go, yeah. There you go, yeah. Wow. Is that a chicken? The worst gun handler of all time. No way, dude.

It's so dope to... You know, you're really supposed to, from what I understand, I'm no gun expert, but you're supposed to hold a gun like this. It'll ricochet back into your face. But like up high and close, so you can see where the aim is going.

No? Am I wrong? Not like this. I know nothing, but that's what I was told. Blood. No, you're supposed to hold it right... Oh, really? You're supposed to pull the trigger with your teeth. You should do it with your mouth. If you can't's what i was told what no you're supposed to you're supposed to hold it right oh really supposed to pull the trigger with your teeth you should do with your mouth you can't do with your mouth um yeah anyway what am i talking i don't know anything

about all right cool well like and subscribe and you know what leave a comment for the algorithm did you see barbie did you see uh kockenheimer what did you see you know i want to see i want to see i want to see mission impossible uh there you go yeah okay i think that's probably the last what are you gonna talk about any of them yeah it's over moratorium on all of it bye stuck on the cranks of corporations bye just so we're clear though you oh yeah go ahead go ahead so we're clear what you're you're gonna sit here and say after a movie has not bombed it's going to bomb that's that's did i say that on air yeah it's gonna bomb did i say that no it will it is it they are playing like it didn't like it's doing well

it is if it ended right now it's a massive bomb a massive bomb here's all i know the budget was what they made on opening weekend the budget for the movie was 145 million dollars it made 155 million dollars massive bomb 155 million dollars massive but that's not including the publicity and advertising budget which was way bigger hundred million at least way bigger than massive budget of the movie so now that being said the movie has crazy momentum so i don't know if i feel that way anymore it's probably still gonna people are gonna go see that people are gonna go see oppenheimer or mission impossible next weekend it'll have a massive drop-off nobody is gonna go see barbie the second weekend yeah i mean i again i don't think i think you're wrong i i want you to be right but i might i might have to just i

don't even know anymore i feel very turned upside down by how how terrible everyone is yeah i went at 11 a.m yesterday and the theater was full it was he sent us a picture there were zero people in the seats i mean that's true that's a picture that was i got there a little bit oh guys he was so excited he was so excited hey june uh all right also the amount of people like wearing pink and shit i hate it like my my fiance was like hey do you want to wear pink to it and i was like absolutely oh my did you call off the wedding to warn pink did you call off the wedding no no he answered so seriously no no i would never do that not for that dude it was pink you wore you should have wore pink if he wore pink and you showed up and you saw him and you were going to

see dead reckoning and you saw and you saw anthony and he was all in pink. You'd be like, Anthony. And he would be like, oh. Oh. My fiance said. I think it's going to do well the second weekend. And then run away. All right, cool. Like shuffle away. Like he doesn't want to look like he's running, but he is. Run so hard like this.

All right. All right. Okay, okay, okay. All right, let's see. Hey, Matt. Hey, Chris. Hey. Hello. First, I just wanted to shout out Lifeline Luxury. Thank you, Zach. Okay. Let's see. Hey, Matt. Hey, Chris. Hey. Hello.

First, I just want to shout out Lifeline Luxury. Thank you, Zach. Nice. Because every episode so far has just been hilarious. Thank you. That's a good commercial. I love you guys' banter. Hell yeah.

And who doesn't want more Delay Brother content? There we go. So I have a question for you guys today. I just recently turned 30. And whether I ask people or not, they keep telling me that my 30s are going to be the best years of my life. Could be. So I know everyone's different, but I was wondering, they keep telling me that my 30s are gonna be the best years of my life. Could be. So I know everyone's different,

but I was wondering for you guys, how were your 30s? Were they as good as everyone's telling me? They were great up until the last year. Or are they full of shit? So thank you guys for taking my questions. I just wanna tell you guys that I appreciate you every week. I just wanted to shout out Matt D'Elia's 30-minute sessions also.

She did one. They are great. Cool. And yeah, I love you guys. Awesome. I'm wanted to shout out Matt D'Elia's 30-minute sessions also. They are great. I love you guys. Awesome. I'm such a good guy. I wasn't even going to mention it. Because I'm good with anonymity. But don't say you're like, don't be like, I should get credit for it. I don't. I don't. I'm just saying that's part of what you get. I don't talk about it. I mean, unless

somebody else does. In fact, somebody called in once on this show with a similar thing to what he and i had discussed in private you didn't even mention it mom's a word you're saying into a pond bye okay um to a pond can never find it again i would yeah um did she ask first of all i'm still in my 30s so watch it second of all go ahead i am not in my 30s, so watch it. Second of all, go ahead. I am not in my 30s anymore. I'm 57. 30s were amazing.

But you know what? It's all what you make it. It has nothing to do with what age it is. I agree with that 100%. And people are just wacky as shit. I will say the last year of my 30s were crazy wild bad, but it was also amazing because that was when Calvin was born. So that was the best year of my life, really, to be honest.

If I'm honest. If I have to be, you know. You're repeating the fact that you're being honest over and over again. Yep. In different ways. Yep. Which makes you think it's dishonest, but it's all good. But it's not, though, because.

No, I know. Yeah. Yeah, the 30s were. I mean, here's the thing. Breaking lives up into decade chunks might make sense, but not like 20 to 29, 30 to 39. The best decade for me, just in terms of the way I felt and the quality of my life at the time,

to me, was probably like my late 20s into my early 30s. Zero to 10. You know? Like, yeah, zero to 10. Yeah. Yeah. Zero to nine. But yeah, the 30s are generally, I think,

if you were to ask most people, definitely most people would say the 30s were the best years of my life. And what would you say yours were? Late, mid-late 20s to early mid-30s. Got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That looks pretty good huh yeah yeah my but yeah that's generally best years are gonna be time my best years i know i can tell are gonna be 110 to 120

you think you'll live that long no i'll be dead that's why i'll be so good um yeah all right well yeah that's good next one great happy birthday the shit the what up it's me johnny bravo aka matt's best friend because my hair i am currently picking up some sundials for some of my friends birthdays from goodwill and i was wondering how y'all felt about goodwill i you know i shop there because i'm a college student and i just like shopping there it's cheap and stuff but i feel like once i start making that paper like walla walla I'm not gonna want to I mean I'm not gonna financially need to shop at Goodwill anymore but I still like to go there it's just fun I enjoy it how do y'all feel about people shopping at thrift stores that don't necessarily need to

financially be shopping at a thrift store should you be saving this stuff at the store for less fortunate people oh I'm stealing from poor that's a big argument going on on the internet right now that people shouldn't be shopping at Goodwill's unless they financially need to so I'd like to hear you but thanks that's a pretty that's a really bad narrative though I didn't I'm unaware of that uh going around the internet, but like a lot of narratives going around on the internet, that's a really bad one. But what I will say is, it's not like Goodwills are like hurting,

being able to find things to give away for little, very small amounts of money. It's not like you clear out the store and there's no replenishing immediately. Every time I go to take clothes to Goodwill, oh, dude, this is four, and the fourth time happened recently they've said no no we have too much we can't take it okay so it's like dude that is a

that is a non-argument to me yeah um but that being said absolutely don't stop doing that it's like an it's an aesthetic choice as well as an economic choice the financial choice you're not just going there because it's cheap. A lot of people go to thrift stores in general because they like the vibe and the style and the aesthetic of times past. Like not- Why are you getting your friend sundials?

That's a better question. What is this, 1000 BC? Yeah. Like you're getting a friend a sundial. What are you doing? That's weird. Who are your friends fucking aristotle i gotta go back in time and see my friends euripides euripides mike euripides

dude life rips it is um yeah i don't know i i think getting sundials is kind of weird make the sun if you're gonna give your friends sundials make them yeah and make that hell yeah dude make your um and meet medieval times you know but cut the hole out of a frisbee put it over your cock and then be like oh shit what time is it but you gotta spin around so no you just lay down flat well what time is it yeah check out what time it is oh shit check it out around the clock look it's noon i'm gonna get arrested gonna absolutely get put in the clink i'm horny so insecure the most insecure horny guy that there is oh shit there's a chick oh oh it's 6 p.m wow oh now it's 6 p.m okay cool man might be

known again soon thank you hi guys i first just want to say thank you for being men who talk about mental health and emotional awareness thank you it's a beautiful thing given a society where men don't do that too much interesting thank you with that being said i am a marriage and family therapist intern i work at a private practice in a building filled with other businesses that are not therapy related my problem is that while i'm in sessions hearing my clients stories hearing their heartfelt stories yeah, the business next door will repeatedly be slamming their door. That can be heard in session.

It also shakes my door. It's not being done maliciously. It's just a little older woman who runs in and out of their office and slams the door each time. I need it to stop, though. I am a newer girl in the building, so I don't want to step on any toes,

but it does need to come to an end. So I'm curious as to how you guys go about this. What are your thoughts? Thank you. That's kind of an interesting dilemma there. I would start by going to the other businesses, not like some kind of tattletale, but just like inquire

if they're having an issue with it as well like so it's one place that's doing this yes okay and inquire if any other businesses are say like would maybe we can like shit though no no we would go to them we wouldn't like report them no no i know but it's like but what I was going to say is if they have no interest in changing the sound of their door that the door makes when it closes, it's not that expensive to offer to buy them something that would lighten that sound. Like what?

Well, I don't know what the door is, but there's a number of ways to make a door stop slamming. Is it one door? Like you put the cushion door stop slamming. Is it one door? Like you put the cushion thing on the bottom. Is it one door? How the hell do I know? I mean, like I heard exactly what you heard. Hold on, I'm just saying.

She said it was a public storage place. Is that what she said? Absolutely not. She did not say that. I made it up. Yep. What'd she say? Office building.

It's just an office building. Oh, then yeah, okay. I made that up. Okay, well, it's interesting. You weren't listening. That's cool. I tried to. I tried to. It was hard. It doesn't building. It's just an office building. Oh, then yeah, okay. I made that up. Okay, well, it's interesting. You weren't listening. That's cool. I tried to. I tried to.

It was hard. It doesn't count. It was echoey. Yeah, I think that, yeah, that's good. That's really good. A, just because it was there. Glutton. I guess that's it, yeah.

Because then you could, but the reason I say the first part is because, say, there are three other businesses that are like, yeah, that's it. Yeah. But what... Because then you could... But the reason I say the first part is because say there are three other businesses that are like, yeah, that's kind of disruptive. Say pool resources and it costs even less. It'll be worth it to you in the long run. Say it's like 240 bucks,

which it won't be. Right. And three of you, that's 80 bucks a piece, you know? Yeah, right. Not expensive. It may not be worth it. Maybe get one person involved. Maybe you get three people. Maybe one person's like, well, I'm, worth it. Maybe get one person involved.

Maybe you get three people. Maybe one person's like, well, I'm not paying that. And the other person would be like, I'll split it with you. There you go. But maybe the other person would be like, well, I would have done it

if we all three did it at 80 bucks, but now it's 120. I'm not doing it. So it might be a lot. Then because it affects her the most, she could say, okay, fine, I'll put up 160.

Yes. Okay, I'll put up 160. What'd you do? However, whatever the rest is. 80. 80. That's correct.

That sucks though. I used to go, there was this amazing massage place near where I used to live. Got stroked. And it was next to like a restaurant. And depending upon the hour that you would go. Oh no. Yeah, dude, it was like,

I mean, and the whole point of a massage is to have peace and quiet yeah you know and they had like a jangly door and the kitchen was right up against like it sucked oh man yeah hey got an order got an order number 60 hey yeah got an order they're like this yeah yeah we got an order yeah and they're like turn around yeah we got an order yeah yeah yeah we got an order waiting for that man god damn it come on chicken's ready

chicken's ready chicken's ready the biggest dick ever here we go hey we gotta pick up number 15 come on come on

pick up ring a towel okay I got emails oh okay it's all good next one hey Chris hey Matt huge fans just wanted to say me my brothers love you guys's stuff

i just recently found this podcast and i've been putting it on non-stop where i needed some advice is my girlfriend is a heavy drinker subconscious um i drink a lot as well but it's gone to a point to where she's been getting blackout almost every night. And it's causing problems in regards to when we want to do things at night in bed. I'm just curious how I can go about this and what to say to her. I do drink as well with her, but just not as much. So just let me know how I can go about saying it to her without causing a fight or making it a problem. Thank you. That's very hard, dude.

I've been there and that is not easy um it depends on the person but if it's just like since i have no specifics about her i would say try to make it or base it in your feelings not in your like any kind of scolding her behavior or anything. Right. So for example, say at the end of the night, I would love it if we could also be able to come home and continue hanging out and be intimate with each other instead of just like crashing, you know, like, and I feel like, you know, our relationship would be better for that, or it would be so much fun. We don't really get to do that when we come home totally wasted.

Also, say we. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't underscore the fact that she does it more than you. Yeah, yeah. Make it about both of you. That's good. Even if you believe, which I have no reason not to believe you,

that she has an actual problem to a degree, whatever you want to call it. Make it about both of you. Don't say you. It's just going to get you into trouble. Somebody it about both of you. Don't say you. It's just gonna get you into trouble. Somebody's gonna feel accused. They might get defensive. It's such a good way to avoid things, you know?

Yeah. Yeah, or you can make things, you might make it a little bit easier if you, when she gets drunk, take her phone, make an OnlyFans account and start posting. You don't have to post nudes but like sneaky like we'll see you know pictures and then oh i see you'd be like next when you wake up you're like yo you got so drunk you made a fucking whole only fans and she'd be like no you you're

your nose i look at your phone right oh my god i did this yeah you got to stop drinking right i mean that is actually a completely terrible thing to do to someone well you don't post nudes right you know right but that see the thing about that is that you might end up she might end up believing you and then she'd get really really way too scared like you don't want yeah yeah but you don't want someone to think that their problem is way bigger than it really is you want their life okay but that's not actually what's happening or just you don't even have to start only just be like you know what you did last night go ahead you you robbed the fucking liquor store right yeah and then we took the money and then you just like tossed it out the

side of the car here's the problem with do you know what you did last night i've actually unfortunately dated long-term multiple alcoholics okay oh three of them oh let me think three of them yeah oh yeah and if they black out and and you tell them what they did honestly they might say that they believe that they did those things but the chances are they probably still won't believe you no matter what oh it sucks um because if they don't have the memory of them doing it and it's out of character for them when they're sober, they're gonna be like, he's exaggerating. I understand why they would,

because it's like, that's not a thing I do. It's hard to get through to someone about how they behave when they blacked out. That's all I'm saying. So try to even avoid specific things. But yeah, the OnlyFans thing would probably work. But it also be it'll it'll also be evil although it could backfire and she'd be like but did i make any money and be like

you know not yet oh oh i've been meaning to i never had the courage to do it yeah yeah i did make 80 bucks you gotta get oh fuck you made 80 bucks it's backfired i gotta get i gotta get uh i got drunk like that more often yep you know uh-huh i drunk getting drunk gives me courage and now i got only fans i gotta do that and i'm immediately you know what i'm gonna start to be a porn star right i'm gonna start smoking poles i'm gonna start being a porn star you know yep smoking poles is it is it just me or is i mean this for real is it just me but like my sense is that the term porn star is now thrown around without consideration.

A long time. Oh, that's true? A long time, yeah. So it's like not everyone who does porn is a porn star, right? No, but it is thrown around like that. Yeah, it's like literally calling a guy who did a few episodes of CSI and then also was on Gilmore Girls and said he's a movie star. Yeah.

Okay, cool. Glad we settled that. Next one. Hey Matt and Chris. I am just calling because I've got a buddy of mine that has been dating a girl for a little over two years now. She lives in

Miami. He lives in Minnesota. We live in Minnesota. He's been seeing her for a little over two years now. And honestly, they're toxic together. And he is so hot and cold about the relationship. And they've broken up once, been near breaking up multiple times. And he always comes to me um after they they get together for their weekend flings or whatever and he's complaining about her and you know i give him

advice and then like you know a couple days later i'll i'll bring her up again um and just bring up the situation and be like oh yeah it's all good now um and so i guess i just want some advice on like what you guys would do um if you had a friend that was constantly coming to you for advice um oh god on a situation like this and and then just would bounce back like a couple days later that sucks and just say everything's all good dude you guys just want to talk love the show it's so annoying when people do that hey i'd like some advice and now i just want you to hear you talk because i'm never gonna fucking take it dude no hey i gave you the advice i got the same advice for you break up with her dude you're dating a chick in miami you're in minnesota

anyway of course it's toxic it's fucking completely different if you're in minnesota you're dating a chick from miami it's gonna be toxic it's such a different lifestyle what would you say to your friend though you'd say that yeah okay get out of here dude you're not listening to me you fucking asked me for advice you asked me for advice you keep fucking asking me for advice and then i give you the same advice and then you and then you you just come back and you look oh it's all good because that pussy be banging say say basically that but without the very very last part and oh maybe if that's the case then yeah sure but it doesn't you're a bitch dude that's how i do it relax you're being a bitch man you're coming you're running between your tail between

your legs and she's toxic you're toxic you need to be with someone else find someone in your own city find someone here in minnesota yeah okay but this is where we live man you could also just say you asked me for advice about this stuff but you never take it so like i want to know why you're even asking me in the first place yep and on top of that do you even realize that you don't ever take my advice like do you understand why i don't want to give it anymore it's such a waste of my breath waste of my energy i mean i'm giving my actual i'm dedicating my mind to helping my friend and you never do what you seek like you never take the advice you're seeking so like this is not good for me and stop it's toxic dude and i feel like you're the problem in your relationship i definitely have that have had that experience before with people.

Yep. And it is truly one of the more frustrating things among friends. Yep. I know someone who does that in my life right now. Yeah? Yep. It's not you. No, I know that.

It's not me. Because I never seek advice from you. But yeah, she's always asking, she's always asking, what do I do? And we're like, do this. And then she just doesn't. Yeah. It's actually honestly really common. It's not you and it's not my wife.

It's weird actually. The more I'm thinking about it, the weirder and weirder it gets. They just want to express words. But also it's like they know there's a problem. And it's like before they have to act on it they think they might act on it and then when it comes time to act on it they don't and they don't realize that every single time it happens it's kind of about self-awareness so really all you got to do is make your friend self-aware of it so that in the future he can

be self-aware like you never take my advice but you ask for it what are you doing you know yeah ask him ask him what's gonna happen though the guy's just gonna not tell come to you for advice anymore that's what you want though i guess so yeah it's like i don't want to fucking hear about it i mean man the person that does it in my life we'll talk for hours with this shit and it's just like oh geez yeah yeah that's no good yeah and it's just crazy. And they don't listen. And Kristen and I are like, I don't know what to do with this person. Do what I'm suggesting. Well, it's not me. It's mostly Kristen can do the thing.

But yeah, it's not up to me. I can just leave the room and be like, sucks. Sucks donkey balls, huh? Sucks donkey balls. Okay. Well, so you don't really have that experience then, do you? I do. It's not the same thing. I have experienced it, and then I leave the room. Okay. balls. Okay. Well, so you don't really have that experience then, do you? I do. It's not the same thing.

I have experienced it and then I leave the room. Okay. Anyway. Okay. Okay, next one. Hey, Chris and Matt. So this is... I recognize him.

This one's mainly for Matt. You were talking about how you made... He made bing. You say bing bong, bing bing bong. Lost his mind. And he said that you stole it from mac 10 you're walking and then donald trump stole it from you actually what happened is that you stole it from me and my brother because oh we fucking two years ago walking i don't know how it started just over

the course of being brothers and just having inside jokes and shit and and dumb nicknames at one point we just were so annoying we just went and we're like fuck this is too annoying we can't be saying that in public but we do because it's just so easy so we do that right and what happened is that you actually probably were walking in la and heard us call each other bing bong or bing bing lost his mind one day showed up and said it's the year of the bing bong. And we were both like, what the fuck? How does he know? How does he do the bing bong?

How does he know about the bing bong? Everyone asks that when they hear me do it. How does he do the bing bong? We both got the bing bong. And we were actually the originators. Okay. All right, I'll see you guys. Dude, please cut together for some time.

Every time he goes bing bong, it will be so funny. All it's stringed along. Bing bong. Bing bong. Bing bong. Bing bong. Here's the thing. No to what he said.

Yeah. No. And also, we don't know you. Also, my brother has never heard you say bing bong. And also, Mac 10 was rapping when you were two. So there you go. And I was like nine. And I heard Mac 10 do it.

And I started stealing it. Wait, what did Mac 10 do it and I started stealing it. Wait, what did Mac 10 do? He did it? West side, west side, west side, connecting, bing, bing, bang. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. West side, connecting,

bing, bing, bang. Was that Mac 10 who did it? Yeah. Really? You think it was Dev C? No, I think it might have been Ice Cube. No, no, no. It definitely was not Ice Cube.

Okay, okay. So anyway, I appreciate you trying to take credit for a thing that you deserve no credit for uh good good effort great minds think alike honestly good effort yeah but epic failure mac 10 was rapping when you were one years old so no epic failure okay on that submission epic okay okay so excited for epic failure hey guys um follow up here so i called in about my friends that weren't inviting me to things oh yeah friends um i took your advice i pretty much just said all that to them and they were like that's shitty and we need more so um i kind of just scaled back being their friends and it's going to be like acquaintances or

that's all it's going to be so appreciate you guys that is also okay i've i've never had sex with a guy even once okay i have a follow-up question this one's a little more hardcore but cool i don't have a good relationship with my mom i don't like her at all even wow she was quite abusive when i was a kid oh Oh no. And I left home when I was like 16, 17. Now my older siblings were kind of out of the house. My dad wasn't around a lot. So they don't know slash didn't see slash. I haven't told them some of the crazy shit that happened. And I want to go back to visit my family, but she's always there. And it's always a problem because this whole family revolves around this woman and yeah she is so antagonistic every time I'm there it's oh hi how are you and then as soon as the rest of the family's in the room

it's like hey you never call you know you don't tell me you love me like you want can you come give me a hug like come over here give me a hug my whole family's just like what you don't love your mother oh god we're not italian so i don't know i did that but what do i do like i haven't been back to visit my family in quite a while because i don't want to put up with it like i do i pretend to like her should i just like get over it i don't it's kind of hard like help it's definitely best to i mean this is a problem you can't talk to people like that you know you try to and then they just they get offended and then they hang up and then they yell or they yell at you or they cuss you out and it's like all right why did i even bother but that's

not your fight you know it's theirs you gotta you gotta you know you you you god it's such a that's really hard man task i would say it look if it all depends on how much you care about and want to see the rest of your family yeah if if it's the kind of thing where you really really want to see them i would say dude tolerate it as best you can it's like you got to take the bad with the good yeah but if if you're seeing your family as kind of just more like a thing you feel like you have to do, and if it was just your mom, you would never do it, but you feel an obligation to the rest of your family,

then I think it actually might be worth, you know, when someone says, "'What's the matter, you don't love your mother?' You can actually just say, "'No, no I don't. She's treated me terribly my whole life and I love all of you, but you're asking me and I'm answering no.'" No, I love my mom. I just fucking, yeah she's treated me terribly my whole life and i love all of you but you're asking me and i'm answering no no i love my mom i just fucking because she's my mom but she's always like

bothering the shit out of me so i don't want to fucking hug her what happens what happens if you say that that's not even the thing that bothered me the thing that bothered me is uh you don't tell me you love me that is like that is a i don't feel like saying it because of how much you abused me when I was younger. Yeah, or because I don't love you. If you don't love her. But my sense is that he doesn't. He just said he doesn't. Well, he said he hates being around her and shit.

And doesn't like her. And like that, you could very well be. Look, the bottom line is, people feel like they have to love their parents. It's not true. As a parent, you have to love your children.'s not true as a parent you have to love your children as a child you don't have to love your parent parents fuck up you know some parents much worse than others and i know people very very well some of them that just had it took forever

but they finally come to terms with the fact that they didn't love one or both of their parents and that's heavy shit but it's your prerogative you're allowed to not love this person that you don't have to be so conflicted and be like well why don't i love her why don't you know the answer you were abused in whatever way you're talking about when you were young and it fucked you up obviously made you resent her you don't have to love her. So maybe when she asks in a way that is confrontational, tell her. It's like that'll be a crazy shit storm. But like maybe then she'll stop nagging you, telling you to visit. If you want to see the other people in your family, though,

you could also just like set up a fucking time to go to Magic Mountain and not have your mom go. Or just invite them to your place. Brought in Magic Mountain for no reason. You probably, or any Six Flags could be a great adventure. But like you definitely, yeah, that's okay. Don't feel bad for not wanting to be around your mom. I feel like maybe you want to go back and see everybody,

but obviously don't stay with your mom. Stay with someone else and hang out with them mostly. And if you have to see your mom, I just, you know, and she asks you questions, be fucking honest, dude. Yeah.

That's what I'm saying. Yeah. You know, you're, you're not that old. She's not that old. So just, you know,

you still got time left. If she wants to do some self-reflection, amazing. But like, yeah, that's so bad. That's so annoying. And then if she did push back and be like,

well, why don't you, you know, just be like, Oh, cause you were abusive my whole life. Cause you did did this write down stuff and just hand it to her that'd be great like you already thought about it and then it would fucking shut her up you got a lot of anger there buddy but several pieces of paper though like she's asked the question you

give her one yeah she says and you hand her a second one yeah and you hand her a third one have like 85 pieces of text messages so every time. So every time she says, why are you? And then she just hears, ding. Yeah. Ding. In front of her though. You beat me.

You beat me that one time on that one Christmas. Ding. You verbally abused me that one time on this thing. Thanksgiving. Ooh. Ooh. Because it's already open.

It's already open, yeah. Cool. Okay. Excellent. Sounds great. What's up, Billy Brothers? Yes. It's Alex from New York. What from new york um i'm calling because

i have a bachelor's of science in music been probably four years since i got my degree but it's tough to get a job yeah um and this industry i guess uh any advice any um suggestions let me know thank you i have a question Did he say music or business? I don't know. I'm from Dallas and New York. Music. Music. That's what he said?

A job for music? Music. So what? Dude, that is such a... Music is done. Music is done. AI. It's done.

Go get a fucking B, work for UPS. Okay. That is not exactly right. UPS is done too soon. Certainly not yet. UPS is done before music is done. Yep. So don't get UPS job.

I mean, the arts are ostensibly about connection. People are not going to be replaced when it comes to the actual music we listen to. Not entirely. No, but I think that music is going to get a really tough hard hit.

Right, but it's already had a hard, here's the thing. They're going to make a new guy that's AI, that's a fucking artist and everyone's going to get a really tough hard hit. Right. But it's already had a hard, here's the thing. They're going to make a new guy. That's AI. That's a fucking artist. And everyone's going to be like, fuck yeah,

dude. And that's going to be the number one selling artists in the next 10 years. And it's not going to be a real person. Mark my words. And they're going to go to concerts and they're going to have fucking graphics of this person. And Asians are going to love it. By the way, who gives a shit?

That's even if that's true, which it isn't, that's one act. That's not, that doesn't affect this guy and then what happens when there's another one and then what happens when they do a duet with another person and another one and then they bring tony bennett back and then you know what i mean then there's a tony bennett concert and then people are just watching the dead people that they

wanted to watch the whole time i'm just saying i'll go see tupac before i go see little dirk that's all i'm saying okay anyway the point is music's i I mean, the movie business is in serious trouble, but the music industry has been in serious trouble since Napster. Yeah, true. Music is a hard business to peg right now because it's been in flux for so long and its feet aren't even under it now. Like TikTok came along and did it again.

It was a sledgehammer to the entire industry. Sledge. Hammer. Having a seizure. Having a seizure. Wow. It's so weird. I'm a sledge.

Having a seizure. Hammer. You know that shit? And putting a mask on. Having a seizure, putting a mask on. Yeah, I remember that shit. That's a great music video. Oh, I loved it um doesn't know how to eat

uh dude i don't even know how do you give it you think so yeah what was the question does he have any do we have any advice for him for that guy that guy don't do music man you're fucked they got the beatles songs better than the beatles they got the drake ai shit with uh the weekend i'd rather fucking i'd rather listen to that than any other drake song The Weeknd song. I mean, okay. The second they start to make Peter Gabriel AI songs, I'm in, dude. I'm done. Okay.

So the advice would be get another job, dude. And not kiss music goodbye. Work at Crate and Barrel. Sing there. You want to not have to be anxious all the time about trying to get a job in music get a job that can just pay the bills every month and i don't know if you want to be a musician or just work in the industry but like just like anything else in the arts you just got to like hustle in every possible way that appears in front of you.

You got to create opportunities that are not there. You got to like really, really, really hustle. I suggest always been true. Now it's more true than ever. I suggest do the only job that will survive the revolution of AI. There's only one job that will survive it.

Magician. And you got to learn tricks because i'll tell you what that's the only job that's going to survive here's the comedian will be the last one to go and the magician will never go because nobody gives a fuck if a robot can trick you because robots have all sorts of tricks but a person i was at watching david copperfield and he goes like this go like this this. And then he goes like this, go like this. And he wound up like this. And I don't know how he did it, but everyone was like, what the, how did we, how did we?

Dude, if a robot did that, you'd just be like, it would just be like, you know what I mean? And then we'd be like, well, that's just a robot. David Copperfield did it. That's amazing. Here's my money. That's the only profession that will survive the AI takeover. Here's the problem, though.

So become a magician. If everybody takes your advice, the market's going to be oversaturated with musicians. And that sounds like actual hell. Not musicians. Magicians. What did I say? You just have to change like two letters in your job. No, man.

I don't know, man. That is a stumper. Because it's like the music industry is so fucked up right now. Of course you can't get a job. Yeah. It's like went into an extremely hard industry anyway. Like 10 years ago, 20 years ago, like at any point,

getting a degree in music is like getting a degree in film or anything else. It's insanely fucking hard. Yeah. Guy plays the art, plays the not doesn't play the odds you know and it's like the thing about the arts in general music movies fine art literature whatever you're like there is unlike business or medical school or something that has a very clear path toward a sustainable job for the rest of your life doctor that doesn't happen in the

arts that's not a thing you know it's like when somebody asks you how do i make it in movies how do i make it in music it's like nobody even knows dude even successful people in those industries don't know because if you did what they did it wouldn't work everybody has to ask me how i made it the way to make it is to is to make it how to tell the story about how you made it there's no other way ask me how i made in comedy how'd you make it in comedy tell the story about how you made it. There's no other way. Ask me how I made it in comedy. How'd you make it in comedy? Crushing. Okay.

Go ahead. Ask me again. Again? Yeah. Everybody heard you. Yeah, but I have another way to say it. Okay. How'd you make it in comedy?

Shutting it down. Okay. Yep. Any other? Go ahead. Yeah, go ahead. Oh, how'd you make it in comedy? I shake the room.

Oh, okay. Okay. There we go. That's how I made it cool and i keep shaking the room whatever room i go into consider it shuck okay a tectonic plate and earthquake interviewing an earthquake dude i i yeah dude i shake the room so there you go okay great so chris shakes the room and i don't know about i don't know about the music industry. I don't say quit. If you love it, do it. But damn, that's a, that is hard. Nail down, put down a glue, the silverware to the fucking shit. Hey, nail down, nail down the, the, the, the frame, the pictures.

My mama, Chris D'Elia is coming in. Hey dude, get the crazy glue out. He's about to shake the room. Put that, put it, put your good China down on the ground already. That's all to shake the room put that put it put your good china down on the ground already that's all i'm just saying okay yeah they do that at comedy clubs well they don't have good china there but yeah exactly hey sit down everybody everyone's i know you understand but sit down everyone's already sitting down okay cool we got another one what's up chris and matt big fan uh i'm in America, and I'm dating a girl from the UK, and she's getting ready to move here. She has kind of a strained relationship with her dad.

I don't know all the details, but I know it's not been the best of times between the two of them. And we both recently just learned that her dad took her ex and stepmom and brother all out to dinner together so they have like a family dinner without her and um she is wondering and by me if that's grounds for kind of cutting them out of their life or you know what she should do so any advice would be helpful there whoa ch. Chris, do I have this right? He said her dad took her ex and the rest of her family out to dinner? Yes.

Her ex? And not him? No, no. I don't understand. What do you mean not him? I don't get it. There's no him in the situation. Can you tell me

he's talking about his ex yeah his current girlfriend yeah yeah she's english and they have a strained relationship yeah her with her dad yeah she found out that he her dad took her ex and the rest of their family out to dinner yeah without even alerting her to the fact that that was going to happen i mean it all depends on how bad she he said it's bad already no no but no i know but i'm saying how bad the situation is with her and her ex but that's just weird that more than anything else that is extremely strange yeah yeah if you have a strained relationship as it is with your dad why would your dad not go out of his way to make it less strained yeah and well and clear any potential it's strange because he's a dick probably clearly

seems like it yeah so if you're asking if that's grounds i wouldn't say that alone is grounds but it seems like it is this you know, breaking the camel's back scenario. Grounds for what? I understand, but I. Cutting him out of her life. Yeah, she's saying she wants to cut him out of her life. No, that's his question. Is this grounds for that? I would say by itself, no, but it's clearly one of many incidents that this father has either made his daughter uncomfortable or outright offended

her or whatever and yeah if it's of a piece of an entire lifetime full of this shit then like yeah it's grounds because it's just another offense and at a certain point it's like what the thing is that breaks the bow or whatever it's like it doesn't matter what that is it's just sometimes it's a small thing but it's just there's a everyone has a threshold yeah and if this is the thing that crossed that threshold then yeah she has grounds to do well what imagine dad going to dinner with or imagine mom going to dinner with like one of your exes can you imagine that? And you. That's the scenario. And me? Yeah.

And her other siblings went. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So it's not just that. That alone would be weird. But what the fuck were the other siblings doing? Ask them first. Ask them first what the fuck is going on. Why did you go?

What is the deal? Yeah, right. Like, why did you go? Why did you not tell me to? And how was the temperature? Because I got to talk to dad because this is so weird right that's that's the first thing yeah but assuming that maybe already happened and you haven't gotten any answers which the whole that is just odd dude i can't even imagine a scenario where one of my parents would do that well i mean yeah like if you're friends with your

ex and they still do it and they hang out and they're part of the family then okay but if they're not and you have a strained relationship with your dad, that's so fucking... That's so weird, dude. I say get... Yeah, God. A lot of family shit, huh? A lot of parent shit. I mean, everybody's got so much family shit all the time, nonstop.

Oh, no. I hope Calvin and Billy are okay. I hope they love me. They love you. I know. Right now. Right now, yeah. Right now, who knows?

Who knows if they won't ever knows if they fall out of love they won't they will love me okay yeah well that's good that's sad that's a sad one

I'm sad I'm sad thanks for making me sad callers people their stories are sad sometimes life is hard I want to make a bet about Barbie oh wow

bringing it back to barbie the guy loves more sad trying to make me more the guy loves barbie okay go ahead well so i mean i don't know what the bet should be but chris is saying it's going to have such a steep drop off if it if it does if it performs better than x then that should be the bet. That's what I think it should be. So what should the bet be? And then we can sign off. Define your claim that it will fall off. To what degree?

So worldwide, it did what? 155? I don't know. No, worldwide, it did more now. I think that's just America, I think. Pretty sure. We can look it up. Look it up.

Okay. i think yeah pretty sure we can look it up look it up um okay dude june's ears just popping out yeah find the thing worldwide it made 382 there you go okay so much money so what does it have to make to... They never disclose what the advertising shit is. They rarely do that. I mean, for good reason. So we can't make the bet, but it'll bomb. So define what... It probably needs to make $800 million.

It won't. Okay. Actually, I don't know if that's already to date or if that was just the weekend. That's to date. What is? That's to date. 380 something million. To date, yeah. Because it was like 350 or something just the weekend that's today what is that's today 380 something million today yeah

because it was because it was like 350 or something well this this right here says it has topped 470 million globally no so it's not today it didn't it didn't you know this was posted three hours ago no it didn't do that chris says it didn't do that yeah you can't believe this shit anyway. Chris says no. I'm a conspiracy theorist. Also- Well, fuck the bet then. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And Anthony also was in an empty theater. We saw it. That's true, dude. I mean, I saw the theater you were in, Anthony. Yeah. As a matter of fact, when did you go- What time was the movie? 11 a.m. All movie? 11 a.m.

All right. 11 a.m. He sent the picture at 10.56 a.m., dude. Wow, dude. What a liar. Wow. What a liar. Well, that's pretty good.

Four minutes before the movie started, it was empty. Good job, Chris. The guy tried to say he went early, dude. He went early, but he took the picture late right that was wow he said it was packed he lied we have a liar on our team you lied i'll call i'll call my fiance right now oh well she's already up to the game dude yeah you already told her look you said the pic i'm gonna call you around yep this time chris gets wind and and it's gonna when i call you at this time it's gonna be about that if it checks the time stamp yeah then you know what sweetie doll she literally she literally has the script printed out in front of her that he gave to

her gave her the directions about what was gonna happen and so well chris yeah and matt yeah exactly it was packed yeah right yeah and there wasn't a seat open yeah the the crowd rushed in at 1058. Yeah. You know what's funny? What? Uh-oh. Oh. A lot of people really did come in, like, as the trailers... Ah! What?

Bro. This guy's a liar, dude. Oh, dude. We have a liar in our employees. Unbelievable. I don't know how I feel about that. We got a fucking huge liar. You know what's funny?

You know what's just actually absolutely hilarious? What what's that is that a lot of people just did come during the previews like you're saying unreal dude well i mean it's neither here nor there because barbie made an obscene amount of money whether that screening was sold out or not all right let's do it leave a comment please we love you i'm gonna be in uh north carolina and also nashville and orange county chrislea.com there we go leave a comment matt for one-on-one sessions and you want to sign up for the lifeline luxury go to patreon.com slash lifeline luxury that's right and if you want the merch go to lifelinemerch.com get every piece or you hate us if you get every piece you love us and i love you want the merch, go to lifelinemerch.com. Get every piece or you hate us. If you get every piece, you love us and I love you back.

Yep. There you go.