Lifeline - 85. The People v. Nostalgia

Episode Date: November 26, 2023

✨ LIFELINE LUXURY is available at patreon.com/lifelineluxury. New episode just came out on Friday! 🤳 Want to submit to Lifeline? Go here: forms.gle/EYbqjvyy1A9r728Y9 ☎️ You can also call the hotline at 213-973-8095 🎧 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: apple.co/3NG2G2G 🔊 Subscribe on Spotify: spoti.fi/3NPUwoT 🔗 All our links: linktr.ee/watchlifeline 💚 Lifeline is the first podcast about you, hosted by Matt D'Elia & Chris D'Elia. Today, Chris has strong opinions on caramel, Matt tells a story of a childhood love triangle, we discuss having ChatGPT help with your love letters, people who get handsy while talking, what to do if you're a celeb doppelgänger, and a question about birthday gift tickets. 📆 Book 20 or 40 min one-on-one sessions with Matt at mattdelia.com. More LIFELINE: 📸 Instagram: instagram.com/watchlifeline 💃 Tiktok: tiktok.com/@watchlifeline Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Let's go seize the night. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamex. Benefits vary by car and other conditions apply. Okay, cool. What is up? Hello, everyone. Hello, everyone. Welcome to Lifeline. It's episode 85.

All right. It's Sunday, November 26. I personally, I don't know about Chris, but I personally hope you all had a beautiful, lovely, memorable Thanksgiving. Oh, yeah, it's been Thanksgiving. That's right. Yeah, and you know what? For Thanksgiving you should be thankful for everything in your life and sign up

for Lifeline Luxury. Thankful for everything in your life, you know? And so because you're thankful for everything in your life, you are thankful for Lifeline Luxury being a thing that is real that you can sign up for. Go to patreon.com slash Lifeline Luxury. See my special Grow or for. Go to patreon.com slash lifeline luxury. See my special Grow or Die.

It's available. It's Sunday night. What else are you going to do besides watch this? Go to chrislea.com and get Grow or Die now. Streaming only on chrislea.com. My fifth special and it's, and yeah, that's what's up. So I'll be in Trenton, Philadelphia, Redding, Oxnard, California, Brea. I will be in Sacramento.

I will be in El Paso, Phoenix, and Albuquerque. Go to chrisley.com to get tickets. You know what? I, today, interviewed someone who saw someone burn to death in front of his eyes. Lit himself on fire and burned to death. You know how I heard that story? On my upcoming podcast called The Private Record. So it's not a comedy.

I interview people with really wild stories. Some of them are really funny. Yeah, well, sure, yeah. Some of them are about witnessing other humans burn alive. So you got a crazy story. Doesn't have to be that crazy, but crazy according to you. Submit yourself as a potential guest to The Private Record at theprivaterecord.com. Find us on Instagram, TikTok, baby, baby.

And sign up on YouTube. Get all the alerts. Subscribe at The Private Record. Go to watchlifeline.com to get merch and you can send us a message and all that stuff and send a submission. Anyway, what's up, guys? What's going on? What's up? What's up? What's up, Anthony?

Anthony? So we have a thing with Anthony. He doesn't say hi. No, no, no. Mako didn't say hi. He doesn't say hi loud. No, I know we're going to get to that. But generally, Anthony doesn't say hi.

And when he does, like today, he doesn't do it loud enough. I thought you said, I don't say hi. You started to when I got mad at you. Yeah, but it's like, dude. You care about people enough to care enough to say hi yeah but also it doesn't matter to say hi really honestly it's not it doesn't it's not that it matters it's not like important information you put away it's just what people do to acknowledge one another's presence when someone walks into a room full of people they know and none of them look up or say shit, you feel like a fucking ghost. Yeah.

You know? Say hi to people. I did say hi to you, though. You did. Okay, fine. You did. You did it too quiet, is what he's saying. You did it too quiet, which is basically worse than not doing it at all.

You did it too quiet. Why? Well, it's the same thing as not saying it at all. Yeah. It's like you tried, but you didn't really try, so you might as well not have tried at all. I walked in and Mako didn't say shit to me. Well, there you go. That's the worst. That's the worst thing and we walked in and by the

way the monitor we use to talk to people is just on the ground and a mess it's actually the tv's all dented up well it's just smashed and and i thought that mako comes here every day and he's like man i haven't been here in a few days you're saying he doesn't work that hard well no i'm not saying that i'm just saying where it's not it's not a and something's not adding up you know he says he comes here every day oh right and then this is falling and he's like well i don't know i haven't been here in a few days so which is it yeah what is it well oh lion here we go clear the throat i haven't been here in a few days i didn't say hello today. All of these things are true.

On the stand. On the stand. I guess I'm not really sure. Here we go. Taking it real serious. I like it. What I need to say at this point. Sorry about the hello.

I usually do. I'm very tired. That's okay, man. You're in. I don't care. I'm just pointing it out. It sounds like you do. No, no. I'm pointing it out because you're right. You're right. It does sound like he does, but I know he doesn't.. I usually do. I'm very tired. Okay, man. You're in. You're in. I don't care. I'm just pointing it out. It sounds like you do. No, no. It does sound like you do, but you're right.

You're right. You're right. It does sound like he does, but I know he doesn't. Because I usually do. Yeah. I don't care at all. I'm Mr. I don't care about that. He doesn't care about that.

I care about that. Yeah. I think it's pretty. I don't think you should care about that. So you walk into a room. It's like me, mom, dad, Chris and Anthony are there. We're all hanging out chris is there you walk in and no one even looks up mom and dad this this situation is different why you're walking

just go sup that's something but i do do that every time i come in what i'm saying is if someone didn't if no one that did even sup then what you'd be like what happened well you would get upset because you'd walk in and say sup and i wouldn't say anything that's even worse that's the only thing i would do i would walk in and say sup but i'm when i'm already in and someone comes in and say say sup i don't know in this situation i don't need to say a sup we'd have a whole conversation we what yeah i'm glad you all and this is work for people so i'm glad you all agree that it's good to be disrespectful no and shitty that's great that's not what we're saying it's great that you all

decided that all right and that i'm the lone wolf with respect for other human beings it's fine i'm sorry but look uh you know it is what it is honestly and it's okay and we don't even need to talk about it all that much but we did already so my you know i couldn't get my i couldn't get calvin's toys the right way he wanted and he said no no no you're ruining you ruined my life you yep a hundred percent you and you know what you deserve it you deserve every bit of every experience i eat it all up though because it's so cute dude oh it's so cute oh god what is it be cute, though, when he's like 15 and you need him to do a thing and he's like, I bit my lip and you didn't call the ambulance? That was in the Thai restaurant where I choked a little bit. Okay, when I was younger, I said, I bit my lip.

Nobody said shit. And I said, doesn't anybody love me because what the fuck is going on? I bit my lip and nobody said anything. And that's crazy Here's what happened We were at Min's Kitchen No no no That's the choking one

The bite my lip Was in New Jersey Oh The bite my lip Was in New Jersey I bit my lip Okay the choking one That one was horrendous

The bite my lip one Okay I get it That one was horrendous Nobody cares about me This is how it went At Min's Kitchen though You choked on rice Or whatever

I did I almost died And he choked And he was so dramatic He, he got up and stepped out of the restaurant, right? Then finally, obviously, because he wasn't going to die, and we all knew that, we waited for him to come back. He came back. He sat down, and the first thing he said was, doesn't anybody love me? Because we didn't come outside. No. And do something, I guess.

Well, why? Then you tell us and buy that but what did you mean that's not what happened what happened was i almost choked i go and i go like that oh my god i almost choked mom dad you uh-huh i go don't you guys love me what the fuck and then i go outside that doesn't sound that much but oh you went outside after after yes to let off some steam yeah that's even worse no it's honestly the best way to do it and it's honestly so fucked up that nobody said anything i almost choked fine dude well guess what kristen almost choked once i cried so how you feel about that because you had to do the heimlich

and she almost died she almost died that's why you felt choked up i don't like talking about that you you brought it up first of all i don't like and second of all you were fine dude and if for a second you seemed in jeopardy even a little bit you think mom would have just been doing nothing there's no way mom worries about like if it's under 60 degrees and you don't have two two extra thick layers on you know she would have panicked you know yeah yeah yeah have fucking panicked, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you just had to... We don't want you to die cold.

Yeah, no. But you were obviously fine. Everybody knew you were fine. It was all good. Then you felt better, and then you said, don't you guys love me? And then we laughed,

and then you walked outside. The laughing thing was fucking bonkers. It was hilarious, though. I know you guys love me, but why don't you act like it when I'm almost dying Is the thing It wasn't even close to dying It's funny anyway

Even if you did almost die If you recover and the first thing you say is Why doesn't anybody here love me That's funny no matter what I waited a little bit because nobody said anything about me almost dying Nobody said anything about how I choked If somebody said oh my god I just choked I'd be like oh my god are you okay

I'd be like yeah oh okay I love you You know I love you in that moment. Wow. But you still wouldn't say hi to somebody. Cool. All right. I see what's up. I don't think you would have done that in this situation if you were looking at someone

across the table doing what you were doing. You wouldn't have been like, oh my God, you almost died. If they said they almost died, you would have died laughing because you'd be like, oh my God, he wasn't even close enough. No, because you guys just, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I guys just i'm i'm i'm i'm i'm i'm you know oh my god i'm almost choked i'm not you didn't say shit dude i don't i don't think i said anything yeah you didn't yeah no i mean i think i went outside anyway i went outside for the comment and it was who you think handled it right if somebody in your family almost chokes you say something

i agree but you didn't almost choke we were all there looking at you And you didn't almost choke I did choke That's not even close to alarming That's what someone does when they cough You coughed I explained, hey guys I almost choked I choked a little bit, I couldn't breathe You guys

And then I go outside with no jacket on it mom cares about that yes she was probably worried that you were gonna gonna gonna get always gonna catch a chill to chill yeah all right look here's the deal i i think that i'm past that and it's all good and i but it is a landmark thing in our in our life in our family it was immediately a touchstone event yes touchstone exactly in our in our lives and it is what it is but it's okay but that's that's you know that's cool and me and my mom still talk about it and laugh yeah it's all good well whatever you guys laugh at me all the time and it's fine it's why i'm such such a thick skin and i'm a comedian you know steeper okay guy okay

guy it was forged it was forged you know what mean? It was forged. My destiny was forged. That's a good word, yeah. Yeah. So it's just, I couldn't even help it. Of course I'm going to be a comedian. Are you kidding me? It was forged. Because we laughed at you.

You don't love me when I choke. You almost choke. God goes, oh, you didn't love me when you choked? Oh, comedian. Yeah. You don't love me when you choked? Well, you're going to be a comedian. Yeah, you like that?

Sing it so fast. No one will understand. Jesus is the micromachines guy. Well, I'll tell you, dude. I go, you know, I have a bunch of new material. I have an hour of new material. By the way, if you're going to see my special, you can see it. And you still can come see me on, you know, in Phoenix or whatever.

And I will be doing new shit. And I talk a lot about mom and dad. And I also talk about other things. You talk about me? Actually, no. Not even once. Okay. Did I talk about you? Actually, no. Not even once. Okay. Did I talk about you ever?

I never talked about you on stage. One time, I don't remember. It was a long time ago. You said something. But not a special. But no. But never about me. I think I'm talking about like mentioning me or something.

On stage? Yeah. I've talked about you on stage before, but not in a special is what I mean. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, cool. All right. Well, anyway. Okay. I'm sorry, dude. Please don't stick me up. I've talked about you on stage before But not in a special is what I mean Yeah yeah yeah Okay I'm sorry dude Please don't stick me up Are we going to be able to see the things

No yeah Okay I guess so What's up Lifeline My name is Gabrielle So I have a question For my mom's birthday I got her Football tickets to go see the seahawks and the rams okay it's gonna be in la we're gonna go together for her birthday we're both big football fans and my mom forgot she made other plans oh my god wow that's me. So I'm going by myself.

Damn. But my question is, do I have to get her another gift? No, no way. Are you out of your... I got her tickets to go see the game for her birthday. Right. She forgot. Do I get her another gift? Or are we like...

It's a good question. Bad childhood. It's a good question. Why do you say bad or she feels like i don't know let me know i see what do you think yeah i said but other because she thinks she might feel solution might be getting another gift no when in reality she was fucking dissed hard by her own mother that was so nice to get tickets. That's really, really... Also, that's expensive, dude. Any NFL game, there's so few of them that the tickets are really expensive.

Right. And obviously, that's not like the reason, but that's a reason why it's even more... Go by yourself. It's not like we're going to go to a movie on Sunday night

and send her a ticket. It's like a big, big event. Go by yourself. Take pictures, videos, send it to your mom. and and then if she says why don't you anything for my birthday be like i i did you have the videos i was there you didn't come it was disappointing for me hey and you're a bad mom and you're a bad mom for that you're a bad mom yeah that's that's pretty tough stuff she's not a bad mom i just i mean i have no idea if she's a

bad mom or not but but yeah that is uh that that you definitely's not a bad mom. I just, I mean, I have no idea if she's a bad mom or not, but, but yeah, that is a, that, that you definitely do not have to buy her anything else. You're saying bad childhood because she feels guilty. Like maybe she should. Yeah. Like she,

she still needs to do more, even though she got her an amazing gift. Also, it was going to be them going to something together. Yeah. True. It's like, it's not just bad.

What? We don't know what else she booked though. The mom could have been like, Hey, you know, my friend really wanted to go to this. I totally forgot. You know, you do this a lot and it's not just bad. What? We don't know what else she booked, though. The mom could have been like, hey, you know, my friend really wanted to go to this. I totally forgot. You know, you do this a lot and it pisses me off. Oh, you mean look at all the angles? But you're making up angles.

It's good to look at all the angles that you're given. You don't make up angles. We don't know. We don't know what we don't know. Dude, making up angles, dude. But we're not making up angles. We're not necessarily making up angles. We're just saying there's a whole world out there.

Something else could have happened that we have no idea about. Here's why you don't do that. Because if you bring up one thing, you might as well bring up every other possible variable that might exist. You got to look at different variables, though. You got to look at different ideas. You know, what I said is not completely crazy. It's not like aliens came. Aliens could have came and abducted her mom and said, don't go.

I disagree down to my fiery core. Why? The molten thing inside my body that's rotating and keeping me alive. That's not a thing. You actually don't have that. In the movie about me, I do. All right. Okay.

But it was, yeah, that's deep deep down in the core okay sure i just that's where i disagree with everything you're putting forth right now but dude i'm coming up with with variables that are very possible you're not i don't think that one's that possible or or even material it's like what could have give me an example of something that could have been more important than that supersedes that my friend's dying of cancer and she i forgot she wanted to go see celine dion and celine dion also has a disease and she's only has a residency in vegas for who knows how much longer and she got him on that day i didn't think about it i'm sorry i have a question didn't she say her mom forgot

yeah but that is forgetting in a way but that it it if it was that i don't think she would be calling it like you know it's obviously not that extreme but i'm just saying no dude i i think you don't know you don't know this person could have so much shit pent up about her mom and she could be like oh she forgot when in actuality of course you're right yes we got out of that one don't know that that is the case so why talk about it her mom might be a parakeet you ever think about that oh dude that's ridiculous i know but it's just as ridiculous to assume anything about anybody else that's not in the fucking video telling us what happened sorry i forgot uh all right i think you don't owe her yeah anything we agree about a hundred percent about

the solution but we arrived there in a different way you don't if anything you have you have the right to be like hey mom what happened how right ask her how that could possibly happen that hurt your feelings or even don't bring up your hurt your feelings even if it did just be like what what happened mom so get an answer because that's someone else weird and confusing and shitty yeah yeah definitely definitely invite someone else you'll get somebody to go to this fucking Seahawks game, right? Seahawks and the Rams. Yeah. In LA.

Seahawks and the Rams? Come on. Seahawks and the Rams, yeah. Yeah, Dr. McPherson's smashing off the football. You actually don't have to buy a gift for like three years. Yeah, that's true. That's such a- Oh, you think it adds to-

Yeah, it might add a year. It might add a year. Well, because you remember last year what I did was- You could do it like that. Exactly. Remember two years ago when i got the thing all right why didn't you get me anything this year honey well here i'll tell you because i got you something real nice real expensive real thoughtful real sweet yep and guess what you did with it you wiped your ass with it so you get nothing this year you get nothing next year you get nothing next year maybe in four years i'll consider it all right all right well yeah i think that's great

good one way to kick off no pun intended but way to kick off cool ah wow the lifeline cool hey man chris so i have an advice question um to keep it short i asked my boyfriend for basically like a mushy love letter with all his feelings in it for my birthday um that's all i asked for that's all i got for my birthday but i just learned that he didn't write this letter he copied it verbatim from chagi bt like he didn't get pointers he didn't get like advice or like ideas from chagi bt like he copied it word for word good job guy and i'm really frustrated about this and i don't really know what to do so i figured i'd ask you guys for help okay okay i'm gonna you're gonna be mad go first but here's what happened i got a great he

he told her he did this he's an idiot how the fuck would she know he told her yeah well Yeah. Well, if you're going to do it, just do it. But then, you know what, dude? I got to tell you something funny. The guy's an idiot. God. Or maybe, is it possible? I'm going to be you here for a second. Is it possible that she was like, this doesn't sound like you.

And then he was like, felt pressured. And he confessed. Right? That's probably more likely, right? If she was like, what is this so vague? vague like what what is you don't talk like this i think more what's more likely is he's dumb and he was like well he's fucking dumb either way to do that yeah yeah and is to be a guy who's like this yeah huh yeah when he's faced with adversity a guy who does that when he's faced with adversity he goes like this huh okay yeah totally now here's the thing i don does that when he's faced with adversity he goes and goes huh okay yeah

totally now here's the thing i don't know if he's a shitty boyfriend but that's what a shitty boyfriend would do chat gbt it yes like dude if you're in love with someone does do you understand how easy it is yeah to write something sweet especially for her birthday dude you already love them that's like the whole thing i know all you have to do is write it Especially for her birthday, dude. Come on, buddy. You already love them. That's like the whole thing. I know. All you have to do is write them. It pours out of you, dude. Even if it doesn't,

it doesn't take long to excavate it. It's there. Open up your laptop and put your hand on there and let your fingers do the dancing, man. I mean, seriously. Love should pour out of you, man. Think about it in your heart.

Just go like this. Don't even look and let your fingers do the dancing. I mean, that might not work exactly the way you think it might. Nips in love for this neck and that's so foolish. just go like this don't even look and let your figure to the dancing that might not work exactly but dude it's so easy like it's so easy yeah don't go to chat gpt for easy things he did that to see if he could get away with it dude well then he's a bad boyfriend right there you go okay so then he's a bad boyfriend so as far as advice i don't know but let me tell you a little story

about something happened to me gonna end's going to end in tears. Yeah, it is, actually. Okay. So I... And what's interesting is that someone who is... I'll decide what's interesting after the story. Not related to the story directly, but in the orbit of the story, someone is in this room. Oh.

Okay. Okay. So it's either me or Mako. Correct. But so in... I believe... Sami. I believe fourth... Either fourth or fifth grade, but I believe it was fourth grade. I didn't know you back then, so.

It was right when I met Mr. Machismo over there. I mean, it's 100% going to be me. Yeah, well, you don't know. It hasn't gotten there yet. We don't know. And it's going to be embarrassing. No, no, no. It's going to have nothing to do with it.

He wouldn't do that. You should know him, dude. You should know he wouldn't do that. I'm not going to be embarrassing. No, no, no. It's going to have nothing to do with it. He wouldn't do that. You should know him, dude. You should know he wouldn't do that. I'm not going to embarrass you. I promise. He's a bad friend, huh? My what? He's a bad friend.

Oh, yeah, yeah. For not knowing that and not saying hi. I'm sure. You're right. Right. It's a double dose. Yeah. Okay.

So I had like, you know how like at that age. He shit his pants. Anyway, next. At that age. He shit his pants and came in the same time. Anyway, next in a plate of pasta okay so next one the biggest plate of pasta you know um you know how when you're at that age you have a girlfriend but it's like yeah you ask them do you want to go out with me and all that happens is you talk to them less than you did before rebecca angeline okay so this was Sarah Hudson, my girlfriend.

Oh, yeah. So Sarah, I know you're watching because you're probably a big fan of the show. Rebecca too. And blah, blah, blah. And so Sarah, I'm sure you remember this happened. On my, I don't know if it was my birthday or just out of the blue maybe,

she wrote me a note and I was so excited to read it that I waited until I got home to read it okay i didn't even read it wow no wait no hold on the cute meter is crazy exploding i was so so into her it was like i would i would this is adorable in homeroom class when everybody would read or nap or whatever i don't remember i would go out into the hallway and make an excuse just just because i thought maybe sar Sarah would walk by. Bro.

And she would pretty often, but that's not. It's crazier even admitting this. I was fucking 10. It's embarrassing. Okay. But so I get the note. Okay. And it's like what this girl, the one who just called, it's like the mood it's what this girl the one who just

called it's what she wants more than anything from her boyfriend okay it's like the most mushy over the top stickers on it like stickers on it right flowery pink yeah i already writing you know with big bubbly ends and bees and shit all the letters okay so and it's just like it's just like, it's not a poem, but it's very poetic and like so over the moon sweet. Okay. About how like my eyes light up in the stars, whatever the fucking bullshit. Her fingers did the dancing. Yeah. Her fingers totally did the dancing, right?

On a piece of paper. Yeah. With a pen. Oh, the dancing. I swear to God. That weekend. It was on a Friday, whatever. Yeah.

That weekend, obviously, because I'm 10, I'm spending most of my time with either my friends during the day or at night with mom and maybe dad, and we would watch movies. And the movie that we watched randomly, we decided to put on You and mom and dad. Yeah. I think it was just me and mom, actually.

Was... Saving Private Ryan. Oh my god my father the hero is that the Gerard Depardieu movie Gerard Depardieu Gerard Depard don't watch that movie okay because it's not good at all but I fucking was loving it

it was like hilarious in retrospect it's totally not fucking hilarious at all if you watch it for 10 minutes you'll know what I mean but I'll spare you there's a scene in the movie where the daughter dr de pardue and her daughter are on vacation right they everybody mistakes them for a couple and it's really embarrassing because he's french right it's something yeah i don't even know yeah right and but she actually falls for like it's like this resort place she falls for one of the guys that works at the resort right right right

and there's this dramatic moment where like they're gonna split and maybe not gonna work out and she i don't even remember she or he she from below he's sticking out a window listening to her make her case right and she just word for word oh wow her speech is exactly what sarah hudson wrote in her night i can't believe i didn't see this comment okay so my thought she first of all and then chris Oh wow Her speech is exactly what Sarah Hudson wrote In her notes I can't believe I didn't see this comment And then Chris Bucker shit his pants Yeah exactly and fell on a plate of pasta And dude it was

Of all movies Of all movies Of all movies To rip off For a love letter Not like Cyrano de Bergerac well that would be completely i mean you would know immediately what the fuck is this right Roxanne but okay so it's the cheesiest shit ever now in my mind but i'm so into Sarah i don't even call her out on it when it happened i knew and i was like that's so that's such bullshit but i didn't want to like how's this story have to do with one of us one of us he one of us and me one of us were competing for her love in fifth

grade oh i remember that okay so it's amazing we're still friends it's amazing we're still friends it really is honestly um no but sarah hudson i've called you out now the world knows you stole a monologue from the movie my father the hero and i knew i didn't i don't really know i don't only know i knew all along wait hold on you haven't even mentioned me yet i know the i was well he forced the issue the end was going to involve how there was a love triangle between me and you and her yeah i forgot about that love triangle. Well, now that I'm thinking about it, I'm getting pretty mad again. But yeah, that's... So anyway...

So you really got played. I got played hard, dude. Yeah. Wow. Anyway, dumb boyfriend, possibly a bad boyfriend, but what do you do about it? You got to get over it. I'm still laughing. If you're going to date this guy, that's what he's like.

And now you know that. So either you're okay with it and you stay with him or you're not and you leave him. It's not... There's no reason to be upset about it. It's just he's like and now you know that so either you're okay with it and you stay with him or you're not and you leave him it's not there's no reason to be upset about it it's just he's telling you who he is you're either okay with it or not i'm still laughing at the plate of pasta yeah i'm sure he is yeah yeah all right mark walberg whoa clayton out of las vegas markberg. So a big fan of the show, but I got a quick question for you. Stick to the video. I'm told on a daily basis that I look like Mark Wahlberg.

Of course you do. Of course you are. Like from the time I was in seven days. I just don't get it. I hear it all the time. It's gotten worse as I've gotten older. And it's not like it's an insult. It's kind of a compliment.

Yeah, of course not. Yeah. It's kind of a compliment yeah of course not yeah guy unless you're kind of obnoxious so what can i tell people to not sound so much like a dick but basically fuck off oh it's very simple oh the shit well i didn't see the end of it play play it again play it again for chris the end of it just the end of it. Play it again. You've got to play it again for Chris. Play the end of it. Just the end of it, dude. Most of the shit there is. Look. Thanks. Wow, dude.

That's the shit. It's so much like Mark Wahlberg. Trying to be like Mark Wahlberg. Yeah, right. You're kind of leaning into it. Yeah, you're leaning into it. Dude's got a black tank top on. He doesn't want to admit it, but you're leaning into it.

Yeah, you are, dude. But here's the thing. Tell people you are him. I am Mark Wahlberg walbrook yeah oh you man you look so much like mark walbrook oh that's because i am that's because i am yeah just maybe do the voice maybe you don't even have to don't do the voice nobody's nobody would think oh that's not his voice though nobody's smart that's the other thing to remember that's nobody is smart that is something to keep in mind in all of your interactions with all people for all time. People used to think that I was Paul Gasol.

Oh, yeah. I mean, that's idiotic. This guy looks like Mark Wahlberg. People would be like, are you Paul Gasol? I'm like, bro, I'm 6'2". Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

That's idiotic. Wow. That's funny. That's how stupid people roll. They know who Paul Gasol is. They don't know he's 6'10". Like, what? They see a 6'2 guy and think he's Paul Gasol? That's how dumb people are. Sir, are Paul Gasol is. They don't know he's 6'10". Yeah. Like, what? They see a 6'2 guy and think he's Paul Gasol?

That's how dumb people are. Sir, are you Paul Gasol? Somebody said to me once. Yeah, I believe that. I stood up and I said, no. Right. Right. Kicked his fucking ass, dude.

Nice. No, but if it's possible, just tell people you are him. Have fun with it. Yeah, true. But if it's your friends- Or you could be like- I don't know. I'd be like, dude, not i'm not i'm am i

mark walberg well feel the vibrations and you kiss him and they'll be like come on funky bunch let's go wow i mean yeah that's i guess that's an option anyway they were like that must have been mark walberg yeah dude i i don't that sounds really annoying it is annoying it happens a lot with me and brad pitt and i was like oh you and mh amalan sounds really annoying it is annoying it happens a lot with me and brad pitt and i was like oh you and mh shumalon it's annoying that is annoying though dude yeah i don't i don't like that but but you know but people just go up and say why you look at mark walberg you you might do that to him i might do that to him if i didn't know not if i didn't know him but if you don't know the person again say you are him well there's a thing if i meet

somebody and they look like somebody i don't say that the first time i'm talking because you know right here all the time i do do that yeah annoying yeah and anybody worth an ounce of anything is going to do that for you as well do people ever tell you you look like i wouldn't do that until like a few hanging outs nice okay so next one what's up ch and Matt? Thanks for taking the call. Thanks for taking my call last time about the whole body shaving issue. Anyways. Three things on his head.

My video this time is about my wife. She loves her soda. She loves zero sugar soda. She loves really any soda. She likes Dr. Pepper the most. And she makes a big deal. It's in a bottle and it shakes a little bit because she thinks, you know, the fizziness is going to go away. But anyways, it's a thing.

You know, the problem I have with it is that she makes a big deal out of having her soda, you know, with a meal. Or if we're going somewhere, she'll take it in the car with us. Sure. And later on, I find the soda and it's half to three quarters full. Right. Every time. Every time. the soda and it's half to three quarters full right every time uh-huh every time so she takes a couple sips and then leaves it so really i'm not sure what to do here it's funny not really kind of gets on my nerves what do you think nothing wrong with it absolutely nothing wrong with absolutely nothing wrong with it in fact it's a good thing you wouldn't want her she doesn't

want her to drink the whole fucking. Yeah. Here's the thing though. I can relate to this. I almost never, I love Coke. I almost never drink more than half of a Coca-Cola.

Wow. It's just too much sugar. And I don't mean like because of health reasons. I mean like I don't want that much more. Wow, really? Yeah.

So you don't really love it then, huh? But here's what's up. Okay. I do though. And I'm always like, damn, we don't have any Coke. What? But I'll only have a few. What? It's weird. That is i do though and i'm always like damn we don't have any coke but i'll only have a few it's weird so that is me and your wife are meant to be together dude i love a coke calvin loves coke dude gotta be careful i know dude and he'll bring it in he'll

be like mom maybe mom wants a coke oh he gets some sips working it yeah he's working so funny kids like that they don't know they don't know that like we know more you should be like come here Calvin and when he gets over say you don't realize it but you don't know shit okay

I know what you're up to that would be traumatic to him and from here on out I have your number and then go like this all of it just and then crush it

and then be like throw that away but before before you crush it make sure there's a little bit left poured out yeah yeah and then crush it and then be like, throw that away. But before you crush it, make sure there's a little bit left poured out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then do it. Yeah, yeah. No, but I love Coca-Cola.

That's great. I absolutely love Coca-Cola. I haven't had... Dude, I love Coke. I haven't had Coca-Cola in years. Now, here's... Here's something interesting. I haven't had Pepsi even longer.

I loved Coke. I'm great. And for, I would say... Sprite sucks. Maybe five whole years, actually, I didn't have any soda or any sugar at all. Oh, really? And when I started, when I had my first few Cokes, when I started eating sugar, I was repulsed by it.

Oh, really? So you might remember loving it because i just kept doing it like a habit like a lot of people start smoking same shit you know weird uh uh because i still remembered my mind smoking makes more sense though to me but i'll take a break addicted to this shit man no no i know i'm just saying to get back into it makes sense you take a break i gotta fucking take a drag i think in my mind i still remember now that i'm of it yeah you're like i'll get back into it no it's not nostalgia it's just the why it's just the wire for i don't know i don't fucking know it doesn't matter but it could be nostalgia but so the point is though we're a lawyer the people versus nostalgia the people versus coca-cola's nostalgia dude

um i think that uh coke is great i have no idea what the question was about and that's all i'm saying i i don't remember the dr pepper oh yeah it's all good dude you gotta bro come on good you got a good life dude it's it's better she doesn't drink it it's 100 it's also those first two sips are the best anyway yeah i mean oh by so much it's all downhill from the second step second step yeah yeah yeah so so she's doing good you need to respect you need to let you know you got it you got a good dude you know you got a good life so go kiss wife. And take some of the things off your head. And get on your knees and thank her for the great life she's given you. Imagine if he did that.

He should. I want to thank you so much for the great life you've given me. And thank you so much you can drink as much Coke as you want. Dr. Pepper. Dr. Pepper is the absolute worst. That's more my concern. Your wife has shitty taste. People who like Dr. Pepper will go to war for Dr. Pepper.

Do you understand that i don't even know it's crazy bro the two of them are dr pepper and and diet coke diet coke people are wild is the worst it's tastes dude it's just it tastes like a uh factory it tastes like a factory if you turned it into liquid dude it really does yeah it tastes like a factory it really does it tastes like something that is like built yeah and yeah and dr pepper tastes way too sweet god it's hard for you it's so bad remember what a doctor tastes like hey how about this what is that taste i think i think is it prune i think it's cinnamon pepper that's what it's supposed to be yeah i think right it's like big red bubble That's what it's supposed to be? I think, right?

It's like big red bubble gum. Oh, really? Dr. Pepper is like a cinnamon thing, isn't it? I don't think so. It's so bad. What is it? That's a good question, actually. What the fuck is it? Seething, how he said it.

I don't think so. I don't think so. The whole thing is like there's 23 flavors in Dr. Pepper. Ew. Yeah. That's not a good thing. No. There you go.

Yeah, what does it say? Plum, pepper, root beer rum raspberry fucking hell prune orange nutmeg molasses i taste yeah it does taste like molasses i guess black licorice i taste as well that's disgusting carrot bro dude oh come on they're just rum they're just throwing everything in in this. Black licorice. Yuck, bro. Nutmeg, dude. So that's why it says 23 on it. 23 flavors.

Not because of Michael Jordan. I thought it was because of Michael Jordan. Wait. Dr. Pepper has 23 on it? Look at the can. Oh, that's weird. Wow. This is blowing my mind.

I've never known this. Yeah. That's why there's always question marks following it. See? I'm going to sue. I'm going to sue them. So I guess they don't tell us what it all is, though. They just did, didn't they?

Nah, because they wouldn't tell us because then we would just make it and not buy it. Everybody just brewing their own Dr. Pepper. What are you doing? Make a Dr. Pepper. I'm like, I got to go get 47 fruits. What are you doing? Make a Dr. Pepper In a produce section

Would you guys have rum Just buy one You know Yeah I put too much I put too much Fucking rum in it What the fuck

A Drink too much Dr. Pepper Pass out Alright Alright Next one What's up Matt and Chris Tom here

Call from New York How you doing Bro pause it I'm just gonna keep that clock dude it's crazy why do people have that insecure cat clock i is it a cheshire cat what is that what what the fuck bro how does a let me ask you i don't know whatever it is dude how does that fucking cat clock like that pop off like you don't walk into a fucking if you've never seen that before you walk into somebody's house you see that clock you go i gotta get that no no one knows how did that clock pop the fuck off that's a really good question crazy bro it's a really good question i would

love to know the answer but i bet no one knows here it is smashed you to smithereens what is it what is it it's called the kit kat clock it's been around for over 80 years yeah i know it's old but why though why does somebody have it in 2023 he's gonna tell us it's just americana from yeah right but that's come on bro You know what it's like? It's like the swirly blue, white, and red things outside a barbershop. It's like every barbershop has to have them. People just do what other people do. I understand that.

I agree with you, though. But a barbershop is a place that you would see that. This is like in everybody's fucking house sometimes. That's so dumb. It's such a bad clock. It's so bad, bro. Yeah, it's crazy. Hey, hey.

With the tail wagging and shit. You know, it might be cool to have like an old antique one, but this looks like he just bought it at Target. Bro, he got it online. You got it online at fucking CVS.com, dude. At KitKatCat.com or whatever. He was buying tweezers. KitKatClock.com.

Different sizes of tweezers. And then he saw that and was like, I'll throw that in there too. Wait a minute. It was like $11.99. Hey, hey. If that clock is not $11.99, I'll honestly cut off one of my nuts. All right. Next.

Let's see what's up. All right. Let's see what he's got. Short and sweet because I've done this like 20 times. What do you guys think about when people like touch you or nudge you or like even hit you while they're talking to you to ensure that like you're still listening to them? to you to ensure that like you're still listening to them um i do everything i can to let the other person know that i'm still listening to them and they still will like touch me as they're talking to me dude um this is very annoying to me makes me blood curdling mad do you have any advice on what to say uh or like a spin move to do um to in a funny way get the person to uh stop touching me while

they're talking to me would be great thanks guys that's one of those i know you can do get rid of that clock that's my advice but that's one of those things that is ingrained in people yeah they don't even know i got in this conversation today really i talk yeah dude i do golden hour brendan show oh i'm like bro that's so annoying he's also so big yeah i'm like this you know what i notice it's usually big men that do that yeah find me a woman that does that there's no woman that dean del rey does it all the time too and he's not a woman i know okay so i'm saying it's such a guy thing to do first of all but like i find that only big the i the the person i'm thinking of that does it the most that

i is enormous it's so brendan's huge it's so annoying dude and i say to him i'm like bro why do you do what does he say he says oh man i don't know it's just how i show love i don't know i'm just talking to you i was like you don't do to eric on the other side i think you love eric you know that's how you know no but like what is that's not i agree with this guy dude my stories are so dope that i don't have to touch you yeah have the confidence here's here's the deal here's what you should say and then with the target don't do that no i know it's boring oh hey and that's not about the thing at target okay but you're doing it and i'm getting triggered it's a i'm doing it no but i'm still getting triggered do you know and then you know what mom said it's like they

think you're gonna turn away i know hey my mom said this hey it's just it it why are you i know they don't it's like they don't think about it but like think it all the way through why are you touching and like it's like aggressive, too. I don't like it. I'm not about it. It's bad, dude. So what you do is when, I'm assuming there's a friend of his

that does it all the time and you start to bother him. Say, learn how, you know that thing you get somebody's arm bar? Learn how to do a swift arm bar. Or throw. Do a throw.

And then when he's like, say, why are you hitting me? Why are you hitting me? I'm listening. I'm listening. Why are you hitting me? Yeah. And then maybe they'll answer you.

Or scream out when they touch you like that. Scream out, assault. Yeah. That would be good as well. It's annoying. Hey. Oh, you're boring, huh? You could do like that.

You're boring, huh? Because you think that I'm going to turn away because your stories are so boring and that's why you're touching me? So you think boring people do it? That's what you're saying? No, I don't think boring people do it. But my point is your story should be so good that it should just completely immobilize me into, well, and then what? But some people are doing it to be like chummy.

Yeah, and I don't like those people. That's even worse. Yeah, you're not going to force friendship on me. We're already friends. Yeah, this friendship needs to be already as much friends as we're gonna be you doing that is not gonna link us yeah further but yeah just be like honestly the thing to do in all honesty is in the moment when he does it just be like dude what what wait hang on why why do you do that oh dude don't be like a dick about it don't be confidential but be curious and be clear that you're curious get it get you can do this with an oops button at chrisley.com

well you can just get anything just anytime they do it just whatever it is you don't need to be an oops button but oh you tell me and they'll know how long do it how annoying it is right but then they'll be like what are you doing yeah and be like every time you touch me i do it just so you know i want you to know how many times i guess what i'm asking is you don't explain it. You just start doing it. Yeah.

Or you can make them like bouncers when people walk in the club. Get one of those things. With the one, two, three, four. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's good too. A clicking counter. Mm-hmm.

Okay. All right. Next one. Hey, guys. My name is Libby. I was on episode 60, people who are too friendly in the gym. And I actually have an update for you on that, that worker quit about a month after I sent him that video. So it's not a problem anymore, but my current problem is with my job. I'm a wedding

videographer. A couple of months ago, I worked with a very difficult photographer and she just posted those photos from that wedding. She did not tag me in anything. She tagged a couple of the vendors, but not me. And this is a big issue for me because since she was so inexperienced, I ended up posing about 90% of those photos that she just posted. Oh, wow. And I would like credit. When I posted my highlight film from that day, I tagged her.

So I just need to know what to do. Do I call her out? Do I message her? What do I do? Well, if she's unexperienced and if she's inexperienced, maybe that's part of it. Yeah. Honestly, just reach out and be like, Hey, can you don't,

don't even allude to the fact that she didn't do it. Just be like, Hey, I saw the post. Would you mind tagging me? It's really helpful for business for me. That's good. That's it. That's good advice. You don't have to be like, Hey, I noticed you or like hey why didn't you none of that matters because the truth

is you don't give a shit about this person right right right all you give a shit about is her tagging you what what does it mean that she was posing the pictures what does that mean i'm just gonna i'm just gonna breathe through this i'm pissed well you mad at me because it's so obvious well i don't know what that means. She's a videographer. The other person's a photographer. For those photos at weddings and also other events, you pose the people in the pictures so that they come out better.

She's saying she did this woman's job for her. And like, obviously, she should be tagged anyway. But she went above and beyond for this inexperienced photographer. And so she thinks it's a bigger slap in the face. But honestly, don't even think of it that way. be like don't be mad i said that so don't think of it like she did it on purpose you're you said yourself she's inexperienced so hold on a second

though she is up why why okay not even devil's advocate i'm dumb why would she tag her because she as as this woman very clearly said she tagged the other vendors that they that she worked with some of them but not all of them and not her well but but okay so if somebody takes a picture of the groom and the bride and they tag the bride's dress business but not her i don't really see the problem in that she wants to be tagged this is the only problem she can be offended or is not offended as she wants i suggest being zero offended because chris is right maybe it didn't even cross her mind right right right right right maybe it's a thing in their industry that maybe it is yeah i don't know that's what i'm saying that's what i'm assuming but it doesn't matter because you shouldn't let it upset you anyway.

All you need is to ask her to do it and she'll do it. Yeah. Because she – even if she was like, fuck this girl. I'm not going to do that. I know I'm supposed to, but I'm not going to. She would do it after you asked. And especially if she seemed oblivious to any potential slight. So what you want to do is just straightforwardly ask in a nice enough way in

just a utilitarian way hey can you tag me in those i would appreciate it it helps my business and she and she said also that she was difficult to work with i wonder what that means maybe yeah i don't know i guess probably yeah yeah that's sometimes inexperienced people end up being not just inexperienced and green. They end up being disrespectful because they don't even know the rules, the ropes, the way things go. It's doubly bad. All right. So it's a war out there.

Wow. Chris getting into politics. It's a war out there. Next. Hey, Chris and Matt. Just killed someone. My girlfriend a war out there. Next. Hey Chris and Matt. Just killed someone. Just killed someone. She has become

a monster. She's upset with everything I do. I wonder should I put up with that for nine months, or what should I do? I can't really talk to her because she gets upset all the time.

I don't know if you, Chris, have two kids, or you probably have some experience. This guy is a real find for humanity. Hold on. This guy, his girlfriend's pregnant. I didn't catch that part. The first part I didn't get.

She's pregnant? She must be. Okay. Dude. Okay, hold up. First of all, let me just get this out of the way. If it's the first three months,

buckle up, bro. The second that first trimester ends is way better, okay? My girlfriend, it hates everything I do and then the way he did it. Unbelievable. Killed her.

Just straight up already killed her. Yeah, but also a lizard also a lizard he's a lizard right he's a lizard personified in person in human form right lizard person right so uh that guy is he fucking with us i mean no i don't think so i mean he might have been realizing that's funny yeah yeah yeah but he's asking for real bro my girlfriend he said my girlfriend's pregnant how do i Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But he's asking for real. Bro, my girlfriend, he said my girlfriend's pregnant. How do I deal with it for nine months? It's basically, is she, no, he's saying she's right now a monster. And what does he do? Here's the thing.

Wow, dude. Nobody ever talks about how hard it is for guys when the girls are pregnant. Here's what you do. You know that it was going to be bad because that's all anyone ever says. It really is. Also, it's only nine months, dude. That's a long time. At the end, you have a kid.

It's a long time. And then everything kind of gets back to normal in terms of how people behave. Well, ostensibly. There's postpartum. Okay. Well, anyway. You must have known this was possible. It's a hormonal thing.

Just think of it that way. It's not even her. You got to just kind of sit through it. But people don't often talk about how hard it is for the man. Go into another room. Eat a Popsicle. Watch Lifeline. Watch something else if eat a popsicle, watch Lifeline, watch something else if you've watched every episode of Lifeline.

Yeah, watch Congratulations. And just like chill. Get my special, go or die. Eat your yellow ice pop like you're seven years old. Dude, that ice pop sucks. That looked so fucking not good. Yeah. Remember the frozen, the lemon ones in high school?

What the fuck were they called? They were like lemonade. No, but it was like the freeze. Oh, they were all different colors? No, no, no. They were yellow. They were only yellow. Were they long like dicks or were they like fatter with ridges?

Fatter. Two dicks stuck together. Oh, yeah. I remember those. Yeah. Two popsicle sticks? Yeah. You'd pull them apart and they would sometimes not split right?

Lemon freeze or something? What the hell were they called? Those were good. No. No. And I liked fudgesicles too. That's totally different. I know.

Fudgesicles were also not so good. No, those were great. You like fudgesicles? They're all right, bro. Yeah, they're good, dude. Creamsicles are... Dude, we've been over this. I don't want cream in anything.

What's that yellow one? The dick one. The middle dick one? The dick one. The only yellow dick one. Okay, well, it's not... All yellow. Four yellow ones looking like yellow dicks.

All right. That. I used to meet you... Tampico Tropical. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's what that was. No, that's not what I was thinking. No, it's what that guy was eating, I said.

I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what. There weren't two of them in it. It was only one. It was one, but it was a thick one. It, I said. I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what. There weren't two of them in it. It was only one. It was one, but it was a thick one. It was like that. Yeah, that's what I remember. Yeah.

That's what the mom liked. There you go. It looked like that. Mom liked them. Mango bourbon smash. That's what I said. Fatter with the ridges. But dude, but that wasn't the lemon one.

That's not the lemon one. And a mom didn't like the lemon ones. Right. Okay. So don't say mom liked them. Lemon ice popsicles. Oh, I see what you're saying. I know mom did like a version of this.

Yeah. Yeah, she did, didn't she? Dude, these are trash. These are all trash, bro. The only thing that's good is... You know what? The only thing that's good is a fudgesicle. Popsicles are fucking trash.

I couldn't agree more, man. If you're going to have something frozen... Totally. A frozen treat, ice cream sandwiches, just going to have something frozen, a frozen treat, ice cream sandwiches, just regular ice cream. Dude, it's crazy. It is nuts. How could you want,

if you're an adult, how could you want a Popsicle? It's nuts. When Calvin says, even when Calvin's fucking four, he's kind of a Popsicle guy, I go, you don't really know about life yet.

Dude, when somebody's 50 and they're like, will you grab me a Popsicle? Dude, that is unbelievable. That is unbelievable, bro. This guy killed his spouse, so he's clearly in an altered mental state. Maybe we can cut him some slack. But in general, that is a disgusting thing to do as an adult.

Don't be talking about how your wife thinks nothing you're doing is right while you're sucking a popsicle a yellow one it's yeah what flavor honestly that didn't even look like a lemon dude fudgesicle would be okay like even if it was raspberry yeah that would be like i get it but a fucking lemon fucking it's just it might have been cream something too you know what it doesn't matter what it it doesn't matter even if he was doing it for a joke and i'll tell you why he still had the popsicles yeah which means that they're in his house did not go by them for the right right right even if he's kidding so that's bonkers yeah to have one of those in your freezer is just crazy unless you already have kids but guess what he doesn't and we know that because of what he said on the video exactly i've never i haven't had a popsicle why would you have a popsicle and bro it's got to be i probably

last time i had a possible was like when i was like 14 i was like this still sucks yeah good i'm glad you agree with that yeah no they're gonna be the kind of guy that's like nah but i love popsicles no popsicles are terrible you like cupcakes not really nah it's a I love popsicles. No, popsicles are terrible. You like cupcakes? Not really. Nah.

It's a... Do you like cake? It depends. I like ice cream cakes. Ice cream cake, but that's not cake. No, I don't like cake. I like ice cream. You like ice cream.

Ice cream is doing the heavy lifting. Ice cream cake, though, is so good. Like a good Carvel cake? Yes. No. Yeah, I understand that, but that's not cake, though.

I know. I'm just saying. But ice cream is doing the heavy lifting is what I'm saying. Sure. It's like... You know what I'm saying? but that's not cake, though. I know. I'm just saying. But the ice cream is doing the heavy lifting is what I'm saying. Sure. It's like, you know what I'm saying? A good ice cream cake. What I'm saying is a good ice cream cake is better than any ice cream to me.

Oh, that's what you're saying. Because that wasn't what you were saying, but that's what you're saying? Yeah, like the classic Carvel. Oh, that is pretty crazy, bro. Is like my favorite. That's a pretty crazy thing to do. If I could have Carvel ice cream cake for every meal, I would do it. That's a pretty crazy thing to say.

You said two crazy things that it's better than ice cream and that you would eat at every meal it's absolutely bonkers and i love ice cream and i still think that is even and there's the third crazy thing i love ice cream yeah you do i i i really like chocolate chip cookies i love ice cream like brownies the not the gourmet ones brownies are tricky you gotta brownies are tricky yeah yeah agree um and then other dessert stuff i like that are like you love ice cream sandwiches to eat well cookies and ice cream that's what that is pretty much yeah true you know so forget it dude you go the ones of trader joe's chef's kiss i too people go yo hey dude i got a funny joke hey i got a funny joke dude imagine

eating one ice cream sandwich that's so stupid dude yeah right bro are you kidding me yeah oh man you know who has the they're so good tillamook no yes you had one dude wait ice cream sandwich yeah i didn't know the ice cream i thought you meant tillamook ice cream no i'm not really a huge fan of that it's kind of shit okay the had ice cream sandwiches. I thought you meant Tillamook ice cream. No, no, it's shit. I'm not really a huge fan of that. It's kind of shit. Okay. The fucking ice cream sandwiches. Because your Uncle Mike likes... Oh, no, that's McConnell's. Never mind. Go ahead.

Mike, ice cream sandwiches, dude. Really? Because you said it and he goes, yes. Yeah, they're a thing. Like, they're crazy good. Really? I don't know if I'd like it, man. I'm telling you.

Do you know what I had the other day, though? You would like it. You know what I had the other... Let's look at the Tillamook ones. You know what I had the... You told me about the Tillamook ones before. Yeah, they're good. You know what I had the other day?

Mexican food that you would have liked. Oh, day? Let's look at the Tillamook ones. You know what I had the other day? You told me about the Tillamook ones before. Yeah, they're good. You know what I had the other day? Mexican food that you would have liked. Oh, yeah? It's downtown. Ah. Sonoraville? Oh, yeah, yeah. Good, right? It's good.

I knew you'd like it, dude. I know my brother. Yo, and you liked it too, right? And it's authentic, isn't it? Yes. Okay. That's why you hated it. Oh, you liked it.

Oh, I liked it a lot, but I don't like authentic Mexican shit. So why'd you like it? I don't know, but I took a bite and I was like, this is authentic and i think he likes it turned so italian all right look so good vanilla bean bro is so good the salted caramel so good there's a chocolate one i think so good bam bam really bang bang this looks like they tried to do a little different with it they did though and they succeeded they succeeded yeah they succeeded totally succeeded from the united states um i don't even like salted caramel get out of here i agree but they're good i don't know what to do unless you're in snickers get wait you're in snickers all right i'll allow it where else are you get out of here

i can only be italian talking about food dude yo caramel for some reason hey dude you come in my doorstep with caramel get out of here you couple up with some nice nuts and a fucking chocolate covered shit and you're in that brown bag with the fucking blue letters all right i'll allow it dude absolutely shouting dude you are being so loud i can't even believe it caramel sucks dude and i will tell you right now you put that on my ice cream you get the fuck out of here hey hey you make it on a nice you know like a dick size fucking you know uh chocolate with the drizzle and then you you roll it up in a in a brown little with the drizzle and then you roll it up in a brown little with the fucking blue lettuce.

All right, all right, now we're talking. I swear to God, dude. The mini ones, get out of here. I want a whole one. Dude, I don't like mini fucking Milky Way Snickers or all that shit. Hey, hey, hey, get out of here. Give me the whole fun one.

Give me the whole, I. Give me the whole. I don't want the fun size. No, I don't want the fun size. I want the big dick king size. Hey, hey, hey, get the fucking fun size out of here. Get the fucking fun size out of here. What am I, fucking six? Yeah, well, it's for six-year-olds, so it makes sense.

Butthead. Dude. Dude, if you put caramel on ice cream, honestly, that's crazy. I'll arrest you. Citizen's arrest? I'll kill someone in a diner. Come here. Turn around. I'm making a citizen's arrest.

You put caramel on ice cream. Come on. Call around. I'm making a citizen's arrest. You put caramel in ice cream. Come on. Call the cops. Fuck. Oh, fuck, man. God, we're good. Why? It got hot.

Let me tell you right now. Why this podcast is, it's so good. Yeah. We have such a good rapport. Sometimes I'm like, I look at the views and I don't do it much. And I'm just like, there's a whole slew of people missing out. Yeah. I mean, we get a lot of people to watch.

No, no, no, no, no. But it's great. Yeah. But I'm like, man. Well, it should obviously be more. It should be three million people. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't get it. I don't get it. Your job, dude, is to let people know about this podcast yeah what are you guys doing what are you guys doing tell everyone it's crazy life depends on it why because why would you not do that it's happiness dude it's happiness in a podcast it's happiness in podcast you know i'm tired man i'm so tired the screaming thing really made me tired

it made me tired i wasn't even doing it. So look, after this, go get my special grow or die at chrisalia.com. What's up? At chrisalia.com or sign up. Oh, you know what? You want more Lifeline? You want more Lifeline? Go to Lifeline Luxury.

Patreon.com slash Lifeline Luxury. You get them all. We do it up, right? Got my new podcast coming out soon, The Private Record. You want to be on it? You got a good story? You got a crazy story you want to share with the world? Submit yourself as a potential guest at theprivaterecord.com.

Do it. Do it now. Come be famous. Come be famous. Get on the show and be really, really famous. And obviously, you got a question or you got advice that you want to seek on this show. Submit all the infos below. Keep them coming.

We get so many good videos from you guys. And honestly, even if we don't pick it, we appreciate it so much. Yeah, we do, we do, we do. You guys fucking are amazing and we love you. All right, guys. You want the merch?

Do you want the merch or do you not want the merch? You want the merch, go buy the merch, lifelinemerch.com. You really only drank half of that, huh? Yeah, see? I know, that's what I'm saying. It's the truth. You know it's being real. Being realelinemerch.com. You really only drank half of that, huh? Yeah, see? I know, that's what I'm saying. It's the truth.

And you're real. You're being real. And you're real. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.