Lifeline - 91. Hell Sneeze

Episode Date: January 7, 2024

✨ LIFELINE LUXURY is available at patreon.com/lifelineluxury. Extra episodes every month, no advice, all for $5. 🤳 Want to submit to Lifeline? Go here: forms.gle/EYbqjvyy1A9r728Y9 ☎️ You can also call the hotline at 213-973-8095 🎧 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: apple.co/3NG2G2G 🔊 Subscribe on Spotify: spoti.fi/3NPUwoT 🔗 All our links: linktr.ee/watchlifeline 💚 Lifeline is the first podcast about you, hosted by Matt D'Elia & Chris D'Elia. Today we discuss talking out your problems to solve them, language barriers in relationships, if it's ok to be an asshole sometimes, how to discover movies without recommendations or reviews, respecting allergies, and updates from ChatGPT girlfriend & sneeze guy. 📆 Book 20 or 40 min one-on-one sessions with Matt at mattdelia.com. More LIFELINE: 📸 Instagram: instagram.com/watchlifeline 💃 Tiktok: tiktok.com/@watchlifeline Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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apply you're wearing a hat hell yeah yeah i got a hat well it's that company dibbock who um donnie the dibbock you know him hell yeah dude i know his instagram really well he uh sends me stuff and this is a hat from his company and you know i'm just supporting that hat looks good on you you look like as you get older you look better in hats you look like you i think i look okay in trucker hats i don't look okay in any kind of other hat maybe like a ski hat but that's it no i don't look like a beanie yeah like a beanie right all right okay or no it's a full ski mask i look fine in a full ski mask best really because then you don't get to see my face because i'm ugly oh no because i'm here

um yeah so anyway uh look check this out dude it's january 7th probably no it definitely is sun it is sunday january 7th all right question all right you want to get the patreon go to patreon slash lifeline luxury dot com slash lifeline luxury we're gonna make this even better for you this year we're gonna make the lifeline luxury has been awesome actually and we're gonna be it's gonna be really popping this year though yeah so go on over and sign up sacramento i coming Brea California I'll be there Phoenix Arizona El Paso Albuquerque Kelowna Vancouver BC

added another show sold out so just you know go to chrisalea.com and get tickets I'll be there coming to see you in the city and I'm even going to Corpus Christi Texas I've never been damn yeah and you know if you got a question or advice you want to you know send us a video

click the link down below um my solo podcast uh the private record is coming out this month baby baby bing bong bing bong bing bong so everybody be very excited about that if you want to be on that show as a guest you want to come tell us a story, go to theprivaterecord.com and submit yourself as a guest. You want one-on-one advice sessions with me, the Bing Bong Boy, go to mattdalia.com

and book a session just like that. And of course, if you want the great merch, the Lifeline merch, go to lifelinemerch.com. And my special is out, Grow or Die. So go to chrisdalia.com and watch that, out grow or die so go to chrislea.com and watch that dude it's a new year let's get it started um yeah if you haven't seen that you just you're bonehead yeah fix that bonehead you watch it you become a non-bonehead so uh it is the new year it's 2000 it's 2024 and that's crazy right it is you know what i remember i remember when it was 2000 no i remember

when i remember when it changed i remember the year it changed to 1990 and i was like whoa a new decade because that was my first new decade i don't remember that but i was so well you were yeah you were seven i was you were six or seven seven right you were seven I was ten no I guess I was six if it was going into 1990 right and you were nine was I? yeah

oh yeah you're right this is 1990 he's right he's right and so and I remember that I remember it was with Mike Levecchio we were the Levecchios and we were like

whoa it's gonna be 1990 wow the Levecchios dude Mike Levecchio was his friend his age my friend was Steveve levecchio he was my age italian yep i just started following mike on instagram i don't know yeah i don't know if he accepted my thing sad they had an older sister named lauren and i always because of them

i always wished when i was a kid i had we had an older sister oh really yeah dude i always wanted an older sister because of lauren levecchio I guarantee you she doesn't even remember me because it was like I was so much she definitely remembers you yeah maybe okay there's no question right hey you were really memorable to her yeah I remember um no but I remember being at their house being like damn there's like a girl in this house that like lives here really that would be so weird yeah like I mean that's Steve had to sleep over the same lauren had friends over oh well that's weird this is right this is lit well this is the riz based no shit you're just don't try to connect to the tiktok crowd i'm saying dude what's up tiktokers it's it's rizd it's not rizd okay it's not riz Ahmed dude no it's not I'm Riz Ahmed that's an actor yeah he's a great actor

he was in the the the one with that John Turturro was in oh the night before night after whatever it is I've never seen that yet night after the night of the night of wow I'm doing the sequel and then the third installation is it good it's really good it's actually I didn't see it really good I gotta see it man I always want to see what that and the leftovers are the things i'm always like i gotta see that and those are things both of which that i like okay all right how about that that's good what are we doing in 2024 how are we feeling what do you do do a do you do resolutions and b if you do what are they this year i don't do resolutions i don't either but i have one for this year okay so you do them now well no i mean i historically i don't do them all right so i have one this year all right and it it's kind of one

and a half okay so the main thing is that i want to start treating myself with as much respect and love as i treat my friends and loved ones. Such a white woman thing to say. I just, I think everybody can relate to this though. So hard on ourselves and it like, it results in like a shitty mood and like an ill reflection of myself. Yeah. And there's no reason to,

I'm, I care so much and I have so much respect and like, like empathy and sympathy for people I love and my friends and like why wouldn't i extend that to myself yeah you know i'm saying mine's to talk more shit about you that's great that's actually so weird i was just saying the other day this is so weird it might have even been yesterday that to someone that i feel like we were talking about siblings. And I was like, I feel like I'm probably right to say that my brother is maybe one of the only people that knows me that probably never talks shit about me. No, ever. That's so crazy.

Never. But what is talking shit, though? Like, I might say something critical about you, but I would also say it to you. There's nothing critical to say about me, which is what's crazy. What do you mean? What's talking shit? That's a good question. Jordan Peterson. Well, on one hand, you'll have to say about me which is what's crazy what do you mean what's talking shit that's a good question uh like jordan peterson like well on one hand you'll have to say what is shit like like what is talking like you know here i'm communicating how he does this or

no i've never done that right yeah i've never done that ever in my life um and the other thing the point if i have lord struck me dead what if that happened it was on camera people would never not believe in god if they saw that like if you happen to die right after you said that but i'll tell you right now people will never not believe in god well of course but i'm saying everyone would see the video and think it's actually pretty compelling evidence but even still nobody would ever stop believing in god no one would ever stop and i believe in horus christ what are you saying you're saying nobody will ever stop believing you mean you mean there will never be a time when no one doesn't believe in god people don't believe of course not yep because it will always be that belief

and i believe in horus that is very obviously true i believe it's sorry i don't know why you're saying it like it's something because as time progresses science will become more obvious obvious and you know but belief in god if anything, it will just shift. It only shifts. But, yeah, people never not. Christians, Muslims, Jews, we're not going anywhere. It's Muslim. We're all not going anywhere.

It's Muslim. Muslim? Muslim. Like Mussolini, Muslim? No. Oh, okay. Well, never mind then. The other one, though.

Okay. The point five is to tell the people that I love that I love them more. Oh, cool. Oh, so you have a two, two. You have two. That's what I'm saying, 1.5. It's like kind of-

I get it. I have zero. You have zero resolutions. That's just to keep going, dude. Well, that is a resolution. But it's not though. I could not do it because I'm going to still keep going.

I'm not going to do a resolution. You would keep going even if it was right yeah but i have my back hurts same place as it always does i stopped kind of yeah i stopped working out for 10 days got sick um traveled a little bit couldn't work out because i was in phoenix and it was raining like hell i was gonna work because i was gonna work out outside and Phoenix and it was raining like hell. I was going to work because I was going to work out outside. And then also it was like pouring, so I wasn't going to go to the gym and stuff. Anyway, dude, I was sick. And it's really, I was pretty sick for two days.

For one day, I was pretty sick. Second day, I was kind of sick. Then, dude, I was just sick for like 12 days, a little bit. You know what I'm saying? I do know exactly what you're saying. Sickness hangs on. When I was young, it never did. As I'm saying? I do know exactly what you're saying. Dude, sickness hangs on. When I was young, it never did. As I get older, I've been...

Really? I was sick in October, dude. And like pretty bad, pretty sick. And I got better in like maybe a week or 10 days. But there's like... I still have some symptoms from that sickness. And I'll probably have them until the next time i'm sick and you don't think that they're in your head what do you mean they're they're i mean they're

campy in my head because of but wait you're gonna have gross and you're gonna have them in until you're next sick that's my sense it's not going away for months you know what i'm hoping is the next time i get sick then it all is like we're done now hey you know what dude you look good with that kind of facial hair i think so too thank you okay you figured it out at 40 you figured it out i think i figured it out i think do it like that the trick is to when i'm shaving don't go to the skin like i mean obviously the mustache stays but like try to leave a little bit everywhere else but sometimes you can't why and you mess up you go a little too close else, but sometimes you can't. Why?

And you mess up. You go a little too close in one spot. No. What do you mean no? Because you can just... I'm telling you that I do that. Step it. Don't do that.

What's step it? Step it. Have a step on the thing. Put the thing on. Oh, I have those. I've never used them. Oh, wow, dude. I only use the nothing.

You ever been somewhere? No. Never been anywhere. Hold on. All right. So this is boring, right? This is very, very boring. I don't think so. We're often way more boring than this. Really? Sometimes. Never been anywhere. Hold on. All right. So this is boring, right? This is very, very boring. I don't think so.

We're often way more boring than this. Really? Sometimes. Okay, great. Okay, great. It's episode 91. Wow, that's crazy, actually, that we've been doing this for four years. Yep.

91. Episode 91. Go on over to getpatreon.com slash lifeline luxury. Get Lifeline Luxury. It's on and popping over there it's honestly so good okay i listen i don't listen to every episode of this or watch every episode of this but i do watch every i just recently actually caught up on lifeline luxury really it's the best i never watch anything i don't watch anybody's podcast period well i feel

like i have to watch this one because mr fucking yeah he does a good job mr fucker fucks up a lot his man over here well he doesn't fuck up mr mako mr other man oh he fucks up fucks up left and right so you gotta keep an eye on him just make sure everything goes so i mean he fucks up so much he's not even here right now so and if and if chris was here and anthony wasn't i would say chris never fucks up and Anthony's the one that always fucks up. We would blame whoever's not here. Yeah. All right. So, all right, good.

So let's go into a submission here. Yep. And I can't wake up today. Chris, Matt, Jesus, guys. I just want to thank you so much for, you know, I've never. Has no idea what you're going to say. No, really, you know, sometimes when I get stuck in my own head and my own thing, I've thought about putting videos out there.

Jesus, are you kidding? I've thought about sending you guys a video, right? And the amount of times that I've recorded my problems and heard them out loud myself has just made me realize how not that big of a deal it is. And how sometimes so simple, how the solution is so just right in your fucking face. So thank you so much, guys. And we didn't even do it.

Literally, it took him so long to say that. He said nothing for 95% of that. Could have said the thing so quickly. You know what? but he was so happy and pleasant he was he was great I'll tell you this

I'll tell you this much he said nothing period he said nothing period even the whole video what he ended up saying was interesting thank you which is just thank you

but what he said from what I gleaned from that is he's saying just making the video and not even having to send it in making the video forcing myself to say it succinctly out loud

made me realize the solution to the problem. That rings very true to me because very often, especially with work, I'll be really upset about something. But personal shit too. I'll write a long email or text. And then by the end of writing it, I will feel better. And I won't even have to send the thing. Oh, definitely.

You know what I'm saying? Oh, yeah. Definitely. Even though Sky didn't ask for advice. My advice for situations like that is always, like, people are like, I don't know if I should write them and let them know how much it pissed me off or how hurt or whatever. Just write out the email and save it. You've written so many letters to me. No, I've never written one to you.

Save it and sit on it for like a day. Sit on it! Well, what is that from? Al Pacino and something. I think that's from your bit about Al Pacino from like when you started. Oh, you're right, dude. Didn't we talk about this, Anthony?

Yeah. Yeah. Good input, man. Excluded me. Excluded me. Well, well no because he laughed and i wanted to make sure and i knew you thought that and i was like anyway i was in detective work i'm not gonna call mentalist um but yeah just sit on sit on it yeah yeah you'll be good yeah um you might forget about the whole thing forget about what if you write it out and sit on it yeah you will probably forget about the whole thing so i my therapist is uh suggested doing that a few times and whenever i do it i start fucking absolutely bawling really oh yeah immediately i go like this immediately oh okay okay oh okay yeah i've done it maybe two three times wow i just started

immediately bawling wow Wow. All good. Once I did it on a plane, the guy next to me probably thought it was a nut job. So it's all good. I didn't even mean to, dude. You didn't mean to cry? Not at all. Who means to cry? That's what crying is. You surprise yourself.

You get overwhelmed with emotion. Not me. I'm always like, here it comes. T minus one minute. Oh. Well, robot. Cry bot. T minus sad bot.

T minus one minute. My eyes rain in T minus one minute. Eyes rain. You know poetry. No, but that's how it would be in the fucking robot movies. I hated that. Why are my eyes raining? And it's like you know.

Oh, wow, dude. You know. Bicentennial man. Yeah, but you know crying. If you know all the other words You know your eyes aren't raining What you're doing though Is you made up a thing

That isn't I think In existence Yep And got mad about it Yes I did do that Okay cool But it's probably real

Okay It probably did happen I can imagine some student film Is like why are my eyes raining Oh well definitely At NYU Yeah Definitely a student film

You know And I'm pissed at that guy Taking a shot at me And you did it probably Oh wait you went to NYU too Yeah I did For three days but i dropped out yeah because i'm gangsta honestly i should have dropped out too i'm gangsta honestly frankly i should have dropped out too you know what i'm upset about 2023 what i declared it the year of the bing bong early on i didn't really didn't really like no it was the year of the bing bong and that's so wants me to stop you know um so i i fucking cannot wake up today dude and also

my back hurts and then also i'm driving along here and i go like this to look at something fucking pinched a nerve dude damn that happens to you a lot i wonder why you you're so like i know you keep your body in such good shape why does it happen to you so much so this is what i'm saying i didn't work out for 10 days. That's why my back fucking hurts. Oh, wait. What do you mean? Why?

Remember because I said I was sick and I didn't work out? Yes, yes, yes, yes. My back hurts because I didn't work out. And then this happened probably because I just got back into working out. I need to keep moving, dude. My body is a machine. It's like an airplane. You're a shark.

The airplanes that crash are the new airplanes. It's like an airplane. You're a shark. The airplanes that crash are the new airplanes. You got to fucking have a well-oiled airplane that works all the time, that is constantly in motion. I'm a fucking 747. I'm a Mako. You know what?

What? A Mako shark. Oh, a Mako shark. If I don't keep moving, I die. All right. Do you understand? Crash and burn, baby. Yeah, I understand.

But I'm serious. I have to keep moving i die all right you understand i crash and burn baby yeah i understand but but i'm serious i have to keep moving and that's for real dude i can't believe how much worse i felt because i wasn't moving around interesting is it it is interesting yeah i don't move around nearly as much as you and you know how much better you'd feel if you did no i don't and i'm not trying to push it on you but i'm just saying you you asked me a question let me answer okay no i don't because i don't do it i don't know how much better i would feel because no if you started doing it and i'm not i'm not saying you should okay but if you started doing it in three months your life would be unreal and not to saying it's not unreal it's unreal but it will be so much more unreal that

you'd be like this is a fantasy your hair looks good it's like a nine out of ten today i don't even ask do you think maybe you don't know when your hair looks the best i think people think that hair looks good different i saw a thing on the congratulations thing someone left a comment it was an 8.2 i thought it had to be you know what i mean it's like i like when people rate my hair i i think that my hair is sometimes banging and people don't think it is. And sometimes it's not banging. People think it's banging.

So you have a different opinion than what other people think. Sometimes. About your own hair. Sometimes. But I have a different opinion on what different people think about anything. Because sometimes you think a chair is nice.

Sometimes somebody thinks a chair is ugly. Yeah, that's the way it is, I guess, isn't it? Right. Okay, let's do another one okay hey matt and chris uh just chat gpt girlfriend checking back oh yeah guys in a shocking turn of events we have broken up since then and this is a particularly brutal one for me so any words of advice or encouragement about breakups will always be appreciated from you too on another note my brother is a huge fan of you guys he is the reason that i started watching congratulations and then later on lifeline the reason that i knew that i was on lifeline was

because he heard it and then called me to let me know very cute um so shout out to travis we love him and uh i'm going through a really hard time right now but you know life rips anyway so thank you guys because of it what I have no memory

what did she do her she broke up with her boyfriend but she said no no I know I remember what happened three seconds ago

I thought that's what you were saying though you said oh yeah I remember you oh she had her boyfriend wrote her a love letter she's like all I want is something like significant and emotional from you. Like, write me something. He did a GPT one. Yeah, I remember now.

Well, yeah, that is. But you were going to break up with this guy. Anyway, my advice is to think, change the lens through which you're looking at it. Obviously, you're in pain, but let it, allow it to soften the pain knowing that I promise you that relationship was going to end regardless, whether it's now or in three months, six months.

So, and truthfully, and I can say this without actually lying in any way, it's better to have gotten it over with than have to deal with it in the future. Yeah, I know, definitely. And you may be in a lot of pain you're obviously young and you're sweet and you're cute you're gonna meet somebody thank you that doesn't write you love letters using chat gpt and doesn't that sound nice i think it does and i think that you should look forward to that instead of looking back and thinking about how look Look, obviously breakups suck.

I hate when people break up, dude. Even when you want to break up with the person and you do it, it sucks for you afterwards. Talking so pointedly. Okay. Why? What do you mean? And even when you break up. I didn't think I was doing that.

Well, you were. To be perfectly frank. Okay. Well, that's fine. People look at things in different ways. No, but I think that, you know, obviously, I To be perfectly frank. Okay. Well, that's fine. People look at things in different ways. No, but I think that, you know, obviously, I think you know this. You're going to be okay.

But it's better to have gotten it over with. And it sucks for anyone in any situation. Whether you get broken up with or you did the breaking up, doesn't matter. It sucks. Go ahead. All right. You keep saying the same thing, you know. That's why I said it real fast. But you cut me off.

So I wanted to reset it real fast because I started doing that. No, I said it real fast because you were already exhibiting impatience and it was pissing me foreign robot i was exhibiting impatience and it was pissing me um so i forgot what i was gonna say because you said the same thing about it oh and you could be you're in a lot of pain but you could be at least you don't have neck and back pain like me so making it about yourself cool and that's fine but my hair is doing really well today don't touch it don't touch no that that's a fallacy dude what if you think your hair looks good don't not touch it whoa what is this yeah dude there's a here's a life hack dude but wait is this a fallacy that's been shown to be true or you think this i am the control i am the i have i understood this i've never said it out loud oh okay but this is a fucking life hack dude okay go ahead are you ready

for a life hack yeah so say your hair looks good do you go like this someone says your hair looks good and then i walk down another person your hair looks good you You go like this. Someone says, your hair looks good. And then I walk down the street. Another person says, your hair looks good. You go, I better not fuck it up. Yeah, right. Of course, yeah. Get out of here. That is not the truth. The second you decide to not touch your hair, it sits.

It settles. It all falls apart. It sits. It sits. It gets stale. If your hair looks good, it looks good because of the body because of the activation of your hair you have to keep it alive so you have so you say my hair looks good guess what i do so go ahead say my hair looks good your hair looks good thanks so much man

well it's gonna still look good it does look good see it's about the body it's about the activation dude chris so soon vidal dalia well you know i was gonna say vidal dalia yeah and that one's better yeah it might be yeah vidal is a funnier word i was going back and forth for like 20 seconds you could have just said vidal so soon i know but i didn't want to okay that was not even on the table frankly hey let me tell you something it is so fucking obvious we're brothers that it might we might be the most brothers ever you know i'm saying yeah but explain more every single cock sucking way dude i mean every that isn't true i mean every single way we're different the way we look you mean like outward facing the way we sound right the way we are the way we banter banter sick in a mate

even if we didn't sound or look the way we look you'd still be able to tell we were brothers we have brothers ah the banter guy what was he speed dating sick and that was he like honestly who fucking cares never got fucked ever that guy no you mean you mean never had sex yeah well i got fucked you like that sick in it I'm going to pass. I'm going to pass. Sick. Dude. Sitting on a dildo. I mean, dude, Jim Carrey.

Damn, dude. All right. It's all good. Do another one. Do another one? Yeah. Best hair. American Psycho. Best hair in 1998.

American Psycho. Best hair in 1998 play it what up chris and matt have a question about international relationships for you um i've been in tokyo for a couple years now and i've been seeing a japanese girl now there's a couple problems she doesn't speak any english i speak broken japanese so we can still communicate but hell yeah definitely a wall and i have american citizenship so i'll have to return to america eventually do you think that there's a limit to these types of relationships do you think it's a waste of time i would love to know if you have any experience or have any friends

that made it successful um yeah love the insight i've been a baby since day one but i gotta say this is my favorite podcast of all so please keep it up love you guys better every time yeah thanks raises something that i that was cool yeah that is cool this raises something that i've thought about um and i i don't know if i've ever said it out loud either there's a bunch of secrets being exposed this podcast okay i don't know secrets well i something i didn't say out loud about the hair thing. I don't think I've ever said this out loud either. Okay.

Not this, but I'm going to say this first. I've never dated someone that wasn't fully English speaking. You know? Have you seen someone for a few weeks? Probably. I don't know. Probably. Okay.

The thing about that is that if there's one of them, you would remember. If there's zero of them, you might say probably. No, I mean, I've been with women that are foreign, obviously. But I've seen them twice, three times probably. Right, okay, yeah. But I don't think I've ever... I feel like there is a barrier well of course there is no no but but the language barrier now i understand but i i i think i put it on more than that i think that i think that i i probably am like too harsh on it

because i think that i would have a subconscious thing that wouldn't be open to that because i would think how am i going to communicate with this person period when were you so you know in any relationship that you're in you like need there to be a specific understanding of yeah humor yeah exactly yeah so like a lot of people aren't really like that and anyway even americans for sure yeah and i think if you got over the hump of the initial difficulty of getting to know someone without like speaking one another's language like actual languages

I think it might actually be somehow beneficial because think about it I mean this is just totally theoretical I've never I've only like seen people for very brief periods of time like we're talking like a month or two that are like, that don't,

that don't speak English as the first language. It's, I agree. It's very, very difficult. But obviously people are different. I think that the, wow,

I totally forgot what I was going to say. That's okay. What was I starting to say? I wasn't listening. I have stuff, you know? Oh, you weren't listening.

Cool. Thanks, man. Oh, no, this is what I'm going to say. I think that once you get over that initial hump, now that you know oh you weren't listening cool thanks man uh oh no this is what i'm gonna say i think that once you get over that initial now that you know what you're gonna say you're gonna wow man you know trying to make me forget what i was gonna say so bad you you might end up in a place that it's somewhat in a way beneficial because you can chalk things up to miscommunication that's the main that's a big deal yes that's the big thing

initial instinct was to be like well i doubt she meant it this way it's probably just the language you could do you're getting so much help i thought you said have sex with your sister i thought you said steal your money and drain your bank account you could save your feelings so often you could be like oh that doesn't hurt my feelings she probably meant something else even if she meant like fuck you you smell you could be like, oh, that doesn't hurt my feelings. She probably meant something else. Even if she meant like, fuck you, you smell. You could be like, she probably, she doesn't know what smell means. Like she didn't mean to say that word. She meant, you know what I mean?

Like you could chalk it up to any, like any of that shit you could say is just a miscommunication. So maybe it's beneficial in a way that is unexpected. That being said, I don't think it's necessarily, like you can't just break up with someone. If the relationship's fine, certainly if it's working and both of you are happy, you can't just end it because long-term, it seems like inevitably it would be a difficult thing to have two people...

You know what I mean? Like, if it's good, it's good. If it's not, it's not. And maybe it's not because of the language thing, but if it's not, the language thing's fine. Yeah, but then you ask any woman what the number one thing about, you know, being in relationship would is the important people like so many of them would say communication you know yeah and they would be right honestly for long term so disrespectful

dude he's like you know what ready for another one um anthony just thought we were leaving that in leave that in don't think no god is heartbroken by a Japanese girl and refuses to think about it for one more second. And is looking at something that she gave him. Yeah. So did you see the thing where, by the way, how come it's considered racist for, you know, if I were to like, oh, that's racist. You're doing an Asian accent.

You know, people would say that. People would say that. you're doing an asian accent you know people would say that people would say that but yeah yeah i guess they would say whatever it's not but we don't know we also don't have to even talk about it because what i'm going trying to do is bring up this thing did you see the thing did i send it to you you know how like if if i say speak russian or or whatever you're like what does a russian guy suddenly go or whatever the fuck you know oh you did send me, I know what you're going to say, yeah.

Bro, I never thought about what it's like for, like, you can do that with English. What he's going to say is, he sent me a Middle Eastern man

and a, saying like, this is how Americans, English people sound. But the point is i never thought about when they say do a guy like speak speak cantonese like i didn't ever think about what that might sound like to a somebody in china

sure you know what i'm saying yeah but you mean and then on the english right in the reverse what does that sound like for us in english well that guy yeah we should send it so you could play it yeah it was so funny dude it was an it was in uh it's on instagram right yeah i sent it to you on it yeah there it is here i'm going to send it to you actually i'll just do it here wow bro that's so weird that is weird I never thought about that yeah

and I'm a smart guy that thinks about a lot of things well why would you think about that though if you think about it because I've done the other way I've gone wait you mean to tell me you've never thought i wonder how americans sound to people in other countries no that's not what i haven't thought of okay what i haven't thought of

is other foreigners could do what they thought an english person sounds like. But if someone said, this guy can do that, you would think, oh, I haven't thought of that. You wouldn't think, oh, that doesn't sound possible, right? No. Okay, yeah. You're just saying it hasn't crossed your mind. It hasn't crossed my mind. Well, that makes sense.

And that guy's really good at sounding American. It's crazy. In a 45 rocket launcher. What I found weird about that was that my brain yeah help but tried to make out words from bro my brain was fucked yeah right listening to the first time i didn't even understand what the guy was doing i thought he was speaking yeah i know yeah yeah isn't that weird yeah yeah yeah it is weird i guess that's how good he is yeah yeah he sounds just like an american he sounds like a radio host which is what obviously he's

taking it from not to take any credit from him anyway let's do another one we'll get into the one that Anthony was trying to push on us okay finally Anthony you can play it fell asleep hey Matt hey Chris I'm wondering what's the right way to respond to someone who's extremely aggressive and rude

and threatening to you this doesn't tend to happen to me at all so i never really know what to do but recently it happened a couple times one time in particular i took my dog out to poop and then i didn't clean up the poop in the bushes and then this guy yelled from his door at me and he said clean up your dog's shit i stepped in it last night and so i apologized to him and immediately went to clean it up and then he said i'll fucking make you eat it next time okay so i cleaned up the poop and then i didn't really know what to do after that. And I was confused. So I just went over to his door a few minutes later, asked him what was wrong, explained the situation.

He was super apologetic after that. Nice. And then we resolved it. And I started cleaning the poop more regularly anyways after that, because that was my mistake. But I kept replaying the situation later down the line and wondering if I should have been aggressive back or even not accommodated him

because he was being such an asshole about it. And I'm wondering if there are times when someone's such an asshole that actually demands being an asshole in return, or should one always be nice? I tend to be a pacifist and just friendly with everybody, even if someone's being a total asshole. But I wonder, have you guys ever encountered a situation like that and felt it's not even right to be nice back because this person's such a dick? That is so dick that he said that after the thing. But also, you never know what people are going through you know like what if that guy's fucking family just died you don't know and you would feel deep empathy for that

and you'd be like oh that's why he's doing that and i'd feel bad for that it's interesting that you called in for advice when it is clear that the way you handled that was the right way yeah 100 to a t the perfect way to do it because he ended up apologizing to you what here's the thing your experience with that guy is proof that there i would say there are very rare exceptions to this but it's proof that it's never in your best interest to meet aggression hyper aggression in this case with hyper aggression because it'll never go any place good but i obvious if you're asking is it ever warranted or even understandable to meet hyper regression with hyper regression of course because hyper regression we get defensive we feel attacked and we want to either

get super defensive and go on the attack or run. Also, definitely. But people don't typically do the latter. Also, not just necessarily. The answer is absolutely yes,

you should when it doesn't always have to do with you. Like if there's a lady near you that's going through something that somebody's doing, hyper-aggression, or your kids.

Oh, right. Absolutely. So the answer is of course there are exceptions to the rule of like you should never meet hyper regression with hyper regression but your experience is literally the perfect and as we say proof is in the pudding oh yeah exactly as we all say all the time the proof is is inside the puddings the proof is literally inside the puddings. Yeah. Okay. And also, that is... What the... That's so bitch to be like, after the guy was like, oh, I'm so sorry.

You're like, yeah, I'm going to eat this up. Because you know it's not going to turn into a thing. Because you know you got a nice guy. Totally, dude. It's like... He wouldn't have done it if you were... Yeah. Yeah.

Dude, I hate that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What the fuck does the proof is in the pudding oh dude something happened you're just gonna whiz by that huh no it made me think oh oh okay i was an asshole to someone recently and i'm a lot better at dealing with things now that i've done a that I'm in therapy and I think about things more.

But so I was, my car, fuck, I did this thing where I was driving somewhere. I think it was to the gym. I'm really buff. And as I was driving to the gym, I was like, oh, I got to get gas on the way home. Right? I'm not going to do it on the way to the gym because I want to get to the gym. Got to the gym,

did the gym, got in the car, drove all the way home, forgot. Right? Of course, naturally. We knew that's what was going on.

Yeah, I do. My shit's on zero. So I'm like, okay, this is, I, I,

I'll probably make it to the gas station, but I got to make make sure next time you next time i leave you have to down the hill i'll go in neutral like right so i'm like okay do that we leave town i don't drive for 10 days i'm sick so so i get in the car and I'm like, oh shit. Yeah. Bad feeling. Been there. Is this, is this, does it even matter that I didn't drive for 10 days? Did the gas, you know what I mean? Like maybe it can't help. So I go to, to the gym again, right?

You don't get gas? No, I do. But I have to go to the gym. Oh, okay. Yeah. I'm like, I gotta go to the gas my car stops driving whoa dude that's never happened to me it's happened to me two times two times yeah damn dude what a bad feeling that must be i'm on i'm on a street a very busy busy street pull over to the middle of the street it's like got you know the suicide lanes i guess you call it right is that what you call it? I don't know.

I know what you're talking about. You know what I'm talking about. Yeah, that's what you call it. Anyway, I'm in the middle. There's one. There's two things. Two this way, two this way. I'm on the middle one.

And I got to put the hazards on. Wow. So I'm like, what do I do? Well, you know what to do. I know what to do i know what to do i gotta go get gas yes yeah but i'm like should i walk there should i leave the car i don't want the car to get hit like it's just here it'll probably be okay but you don't know if you're a triple a member you call triple a have them bring gas but yeah sure okay i which i am but i was kind of close enough to the gas station where I'm just going to Uber there and then Uber back. Clever. I get to Uber.

I take the thing. I buy a canister of gas. I fill it up. I get another Uber back. Try to make sure that Uber doesn't spill. I don't want to fucking... Oh, God. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I get back. The guy's so nice. The guy's like, oh, is this your car? You want me to help? I was like, oh, don't worry about it. He's like, are you sure? I can help. I mean, that's racist that you're doing his accent, but yeah. But that's so nice. The guy's like, oh, is this your car? You want me to help? I was like, oh, don't worry about it. He's like, are you sure?

I can help. I mean, that's racist that you're doing his accent, but yeah. But that's what his accent was. I'm kidding, dude. And so I say, oh, don't worry about it. I can do it. He's like, okay. And then I go to leave.

I get there. The guy does a U-turn. He goes, here's some water. Like, just the nicest guy in the world. Yeah, okay, yeah. I go, fuck you. No, I'm kidding so that's where i was a dick so i i get the thing i put the gas gas in the thing i kind of figure out how to do it it's not really working but then i finally figure out how to do it good uh and i'm like in the meantime i'm like people are like hey man love you you know what i mean

oh really and i'm like oh really help people do it to me i don't need to help i don't need to help if it happened to me it would i would have anyway so i'm like in my head i'm like what comedian is gonna see me because i know a comic is gonna drive by right right okay i'm almost done honk honk i look it's a tesla mazda brani oh wow i'm like of course the nicest guy in the world yeah right right are you okay i'm like i'm all right buddy i was like oh you need to ride somewhere no don't worry about it so anyway i do it start the car i'm covered in gas wow you know i you couldn't help it it was fucking everywhere car sits like shit everything i'm i'm getting i'm like but you know what i can deal with this yeah but this

is as much as i can deal with you're at your threshold i'm and i know that and i'm like thank god nothing else fucked up is going to happen because i've dealt with as much i can deal with i'm on my way to the gas station i've got enough in the tank to get there yeah i've got credit cards i'm good yeah you're good yeah i'm good yeah i go to the gas station yeah credit card out oh no even worse go to the gas station see one of the pumps says see attendant for this pump hey so i go hey well not that one not that one drive up to the next one okay yeah i'm ready yeah declined so dainty the way you just did that yeah declined hey but no it's not no it's not i'm rich okay dude so i go huh try again declined crazy

maybe wells fargo is doing something silly you got one more than one credit card yeah so i go to my credit card has nothing to do do with Wells Fargo. Right. If this is Wells Fargo fault, guess what? I'm about to figure it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Decline. Okay. Ha! You're moving your body so much, it's crazy right now.

Ha! Okay. So I go, I'm pissed. Yeah. Go into the thing. Are you? Oh, wait, wait. I forgot to say. Oh, boy. Before this, I'm pissed. Yeah. Go into the thing. Are you? Oh, wait, wait. I forgot to say.

Oh, boy. Before this, I stink like gas. I go into the gas station to attend the guy. I say, hey, man, can I use your bathroom? This is before I go to even get the gas. Oh, wow. He says, we can't. What?

And I say. We can't? You don't need help. Yeah. Solo mission, dude. Yeah, dude, yeah. Can I just use your bathroom, dude, please? And he goes like this, we don't have one. And I know he's got one, obviously, because it's for employees only.

Oh, right, yeah. And I go like this, buddy, really? And he was like, yeah, we can't. So then I go back out. So you're already pissed. As much as I can deal with it, the guy's not do it but you know what i am dude i get the rules if the rule is you don't let somebody even if he's been a tv star even if he's a huge comedian you don't let him use but i don't want special preferences okay cool i get the rules i totally

get the rules i get the rules yeah so i'm surprised frankly that you don't get the rules but you do okay i do i get the rules i stink i stink like shit with the gasoline i'm like all right i'll figure it out a different way i go when the credit card didn't work right but here's the problem with that you got nobody to be mad at so what happens so you i go back and i say hey can i uh can i uh the thing doesn't work the guy says this is where it just it was it it was like the levees yeah the dam broke too much weight against it he says did you try a credit card what else would you try oh dude singing for it dude and i said yeah i tried the fucking credit card like that okay yeah yeah yeah yeah

does it work or what right here 20 on a fucking five right yeah and i got 20 on five i went in there stink like shit i walked into the restaurant next to watch the thing but i was a dick to that guy oh okay and that's my threshold and that made me think of that okay i mean that's been such a bigger dick to people for such less than really in very recent memory yeah oh really oh yeah yeah yeah not me yeah i i mean i very recently was a huge huge huge dick to the fucking parking lot attendant that we park in to come here really yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i mean killed him you know just it was when you got here and the blood's still like this yeah no i'm i and i always feel bad about it i got a temper problem you know that yeah i know

but it's fucking weird though like it's weird you at least had like you could look back and think oh well this is what happened and why i was so pissed and it was all leading the guy didn't let your point which is a good one you never know what people are going through you that wasn't in isolation you yelling at the gas station attendant that was why i brought it up just that happened and you were that big of a dick you'd be a huge asshole i would never guy in duress who's had it up to friggin friggin ass here you know you never know what we're going to do and not that like a you know you're saying that you're literally saying that about something you said though which is not great you're saying oh yeah that's so interesting you never know what

people going through you said so interesting it's so great. You're saying, oh yeah, that's so interesting. You never know what people are going through. You said- I'm so interested. That's so interesting I brought that up and I said that in such a way. But yeah, it's true, man. Nobody is just,

or not nobody, it's just very rare that a dick is a dick for no, like without any lead up, without any other context that is necessary to consider. Like just a dick for dick's sake,

Cruella deille type shit is rare there's a bad guy in a 90s action movie yeah it's just rare dude i don't like him for no reason yeah i love those are my favorite characters the guy the guy the characters who don't like each other for no reason is one of the funniest tropes in hollywood yeah you know i'm talking about yeah it's better when i mean it's a better when a bad guy is understandable that's a better dude it's so fucking funny to me when there's a guy that's just i i god i love that i love that so much but can you think of one or what no because there's so many you know i'm saying yeah i mean they still do that kind of you know yeah they do they're just bad guys i know rotten people yeah yeah all right anyway we could do another one next

what's up chris what's up matt uh this is the guy who lied about the girl who sneezed pause it small update on that what happened this is the, one of the best actual submissions ever, I think. This guy didn't tell his new girlfriend that he was traveling abroad with his best friend who was a girl. Oh, dude, this was great, yeah. And she called him one night and they were sleeping in the same room as friends.

Like this guy literally is not bangeranging on this girl at all. And she, while he was on the phone with his new girlfriend sneezed and it ruined and i think he's about to give us an update so yeah yeah yeah and his girlfriend's like who's that why have you not told me that you're on a trip and it turned into a big fight yeah shouldn't have lied was dumb go ahead yeah situation did not work out she ended up getting back with her ex-husband who

actually cheated on her. Oh, wow. So weird way things work. But new question for you. My mom or my grandma, right, will always like do me a favor or tell me they'll do something for me. And they'll kind of mess it up or they'll jack it up or not do it right. And it's something I could have done myself. Not really a big deal. It was nice of them to offer to do it for me.

No, you don't have to. But it kind of created more work now that it was done wrong or I have to redo it or didn't set aside time to do it because I thought it was going to get done. Super easy to understand. But then I'm the asshole because I'm pissed about it, right? So what should I do in those situations when somebody offers to do a favor

and then they do it wrong or they jack it up? Do I have any right to be mad? Jack it up. I don't know. Let me know. Thanks, guys. I love how he says mess it up or jack it up. Those are two different things.

They mess it up or jack it up or goof it up. I get it, but what did he say about his mom or grandma? What did that mean? He said that they do that. His mom and his grandma do this? Yeah, apparently, i guess okay like no i just didn't hear that yeah okay like like hey i'm gonna build a shelf i'll build it for you and they fuck it up right grandma's building him a shelf that's your issue um yeah i mean do you have a right to be mad at them again if you're not specific it just depends on the favor. If you want something done right, do it yourself. This is basically what... And here's why.

Very straightforward reason. Nobody cares as much as you. Unless it's a pay job and the people care about their paycheck. But generally speaking, nobody... And it's not even their fault. Nobody could care as much as you. You're you. Of course you care more about the thing that you want to happen in your life than anyone else it's not their life as much as they could care they could never fully

take on the amount of care that you have that being said can you be mad at someone it's context dependent what did they do and how bad did they fuck up if somebody says hey uh like if it's like this right chris i know you're busy let me pick up calvin from school for to help you out that day i know kristen's out of town well whatever you got a ton of stuff to do if she's out of town she's not cheating and then and then i have and then i'm like 45 minutes late yeah and i make calvin wait in like a place that might even be potentially unsafe he has every right to be absolutely furious with me but like is it that kind of thing or is it like oh wait you need to hang up a thing on your wall in your house i'll do it for you when i do it a

little bit crooked like then you don't get mad at me that's unforgivable right like it just depends it depends yeah it depends true that's actually the only point you need to make that's why i wanted to be specific right like what is the thing and i get it now and you fucked up you fucked up he fucked up dude you should apologize you know what he fucked up and then he fucked up the sneezing thing he fucked let's not forget about that you thought that was i remember we disagreed about that you thought it was unforgivable that she sneezed it is i i understand well we don't need to rehash it but i remember thinking but a sneeze is a sneeze it's like the most god's will thing that you know it's coming can't not see you know it's coming dude okay yeah but for how long sometimes

longer than our face in the fucking pillow dude you're in a hotel room but she didn't he didn't explain properly the necessary... He should have been like, hey, you can't make a fucking sound. It's his fault. He didn't? The whole thing is his fault. The whole thing is his fault.

See, this is the thing that I don't like about things that are faults, people's faults. It's his fault completely, 100%. But it's secretly also her fault. But see, this is exactly what we got in the argument I was saying it's only his fault you were saying

of course it's mainly his fault but in this instance the sneeze thing was her fault I don't agree I think it's all secretly you know

I think it's all his fault you get up to heaven and God knows but he's like but you're on thin ice you know right it's unspoken

we understand you messed up we're letting you in here but that was a hell sneeze right a hell sneeze dude wow uh all right you got another one or no that could be the episode title yeah it's a good one what's up matt and chris love you both like your show uh my question is about my allergy it is you know when you go into an office and there's a sign and it's like, please don't wear your perfume because people have allergies. You're like, that's not real. That's me.

I work in an office where people use way too much Febreze in the bathroom. It happens every day. They use like 10 seconds of Febreze and then the whole office is like a Febreze office and it makes me like want to puke, it gives me a headache, even worse it gives me a migraine. Oh no. And I don't know how to address that. Can you tell someone not to use Febreze in the bathroom?

Yeah. I also sound like a wimp being like, perfumes make me sick. So what would you guys say? Dude, first of all, let me just say i agree with you i fucking hate perfume so much and i think it it makes me sneeze i can't stand when people dude i i could see someone i haven't seen in a long time hug them and if it's a woman i'd be like oh hey and dude i had a vest that i liked that i like this i knew this she. She was at the laugh factor. This woman, she was like, Hey, I've been a long time. She hugged me.

I couldn't wear that fucking vest any more. Dude. Couldn't you wash it? It was like a weird material. I know, but dry clean it. I don't think it helped. I think I did. And I don't think it helped.

Whoa. It was horrible, but not all perfume is like that. But dude, oops. When? Just now? You you know it's amazing that that's never happened to me and it happens to you

all the time it's really interesting it's not my fault it's secretly Anthony's fault okay keep going no it sucks that I find

perfume offensive I find Febreze offensive I find listening to music in a car offensive if you're with someone you're basically saying hey i know how i know the best way to hang out which one the music thing and the smelling i know what the best smell is i got it everyone

well that that is a good point but i have a question you're a fucking asshole if you're like you're basically the guy taking the guitar at the party that's what you do when you're putting perfume on right i agree actually but yes dude here's the thing though why can't people use the right amount of perfume what is going on i'm not sure there is the right amount but yes you are right going on? I'm not sure there is the right amount, but yes, you are right. There are people that, it's crazy. Why can't you just do the tiniest drop because it's enough?

It's so crazy, dude. People who use a lot, how do you not notice, dude? It's like you're bombing every place you go. It's crazy. You're an awful person. You're like a fucking, you're like Bigfoot.

You're like Bigfoot. You walk in the room and you re You're a Nazi People feel like this Ah this is beauty This is great Dude what you're supposed to do is Buy a swing set Set up the swing set Put it in your backyard

Hire someone to go outside And fucking stand with a perfume bottle You get swinging And when you get really high You go at the top fucking folk fulcrum you go spray it they spray it and then you swing into the perfume that's it that's the right you get one shot dude and then the guy goes home you pay him and then you fucking go to work anything more than one spray of perfume anything more than buying a swing set setting

it up, hiring a butler to spray that one spray when you're at the absolute top of the fulcrum, dude, and swing into it. Love saying fulcrum. You are basically an Armenian. You're putting too much perfume on. Period.

Yeah. If you want perfume, have enough money to get a swing set too. What are these people thinking when they spray more than one spray though? What's going on? More than one spray. That's what I'm saying though.

More than one spray. Yeah, yeah. People do sprays. I've never dated someone who uses perfume, so I honestly can't even... I have. And you know what I do? No.

I say, this is something that needs to stop. I don't mean to be controlling. I don't mean I have and you know what I do I say this is a something that needs to stop I don't mean to I'm not controlling I mean to be controlling I can't be around the perfume yeah it's like

it gives me all that should need to be said is it gives me a headache and perfume does give people but here and they stop because I lay the hammer down

right okay well not because I lay the hammer no because they because they respect you because they say oh that I'd rather be feared than loved, though, right? No, not me.

I'm like, let's see. Here's the thing, though. There's something worse than perfume. And it's called cologne. There is no cologne. You're saying cologne is perfume for men? That's right. Congratulations.

If you wear cologne, you are now a woman wearing perfume. No, you're a man wearing perfume. You are a woman woman wearing perfume. No, you're a man wearing perfume. You are a woman now. Congratulations. Isn't that weird, though, that it is literally the exact same thing? It's the same thing. What is it? Smell more manly?

They're called different things. It's like if me and a woman were on a date and we both ate a steak and I called it something different just because I'm a man and she's a woman. I had fish. What? I had fish, but it's a steak. I'm a man and she's a woman i had fish what i had fish but it's a steak i'm a man no i had steak you had yabba dabba doobie lost your fucking absolute mind snap right before you said yabba dabba doobie actually that is a steak isn't it no it's a yabba dabba doobie but it's

the same thing we're both in the same thing well i'm a woman i call it a yabba dabba doobie i'm a woman yeah you're a woman yeah I thought you were saying something different. Yeah, dude. I don't... I don't... God, this is weird. I hate smells, any smells, honestly. I'm confused now.

Why are we called different things? Kristen will put out a fucking... candle. And it's like, it doesn't smell nice. And it's like, yeah, in passing, if you just... Okay, cool cool but don't light it you light it i'm done what are you gonna do with the candle not light it and just have it out and smells nice actually yeah or don't even have i agree that some candles are overloaded on

scent but like a nice candle is is never too strong like the expensive candles are like very mild i disagree well no but i didn't mean anything by it uh should we do one more is there one more yeah let's do it hey guys been watching the show for a little while mustache really enjoy it one thing that i've noticed is you guys talk a lot about movies yeah and i've noticed something about myself recently where I will watch a movie based on the reviews. So if I see things on social media, like a movie's really popular, then I'll check it out. But if there is a movie that I'm interested in, I'll go check out like Rotten Tomatoes or IMDb or whatever and see what people are saying about those movies. And I won't just watch a movie based on my own interests or something this is already i curious if you guys do that or what you think about that let me know it's a great question you are the man

dude it's great you asked such a good question this is all of these have actually been pretty good questions even the first guy who asked nothing and said nothing first one was a horrible question uh well there was no question it was just saying thank you for way too long we appreciate it though um reviews in general now this hasn't always been the case but it is true now that almost i would say 98 of reviews you find on the internet are literally this some random man or woman who you've never met never will meet and very well could have nothing in common with at all writing something that is the equivalent of them saying i like this movie or i don't like this movie now why that should

matter to some random moviegoer with totally different interests and whatever interests unto themselves only, nothing to do with the person who wrote it, it's mind-boggling why someone like this guy who obviously lives in Alaska would care what some movie critic in Seattle or New York or LA thinks about fucking Salt Burn. If it looks interesting to you, see it. If it doesn't, who gives a fucking shit what someone at moviefone.com thinks? Hey, welcome to moviefone. Remember that shit?

No. What is that? No clue. Wouldn't you call? Oh, God. I mean, very vaguely. Welcome to moviefone. They would tell you the movie times yeah oh no you go you go press nine for mickey blue eyes mickey blue eyes you hit nine dude whenever there's an

it'd be like 740 an opportunity to bring up a movie from yep bygone times you always say mickey blue eyes and that's very weird uh and a robot you couldn't i mean i could like what's a better movie to pick like i fucking a stick by thinking of mickey blue no it's good yeah you did good you know it's another good one jumanji um that's a good one i recently watched jumanji let me tell you guys something i know it's for kids obviously adventure movies whatever it is the shittiest thing. The original one. Well, I'm sure the reboot is even worse.

But who would ever watch that? You're dealing with the one with Rob Mullen. Not even The Rock and his eight gajillion fans, none of them watched Jumanji, even though he's in it. No one saw Jumanji. No one saw the actual movie, even though it exists. Kevin Hart's in it. Kevin Hart is in it.

Jack Black. Kevin Hart is literally in everything. Is The Rock not in Jumanji? He is. He is, right? Yeah, he is. Oh, I don't know. Who knows?

The Rock and Kevin Hart are in so many things together. But yeah, no one saw the remake. But it's so bad. It was like mind-bogglingly bad. Yeah. Isn't Ben Stiller in it? No, Robin Williams.

Oh, that's Night at the Museum. Right, right. Right, right, right. Which Robin Williams is also in um oh right that's what i'm thinking of uh so hold on okay jumanji robin williams is in jumanji correct okay and it's really bad terrible wow i gotta look at it um so i gotta utterly utterly utterly terrible and so is kirsten dunst is in it it's like a kid oh yeah um and this is a great and an ape question what do you a great question. And an ape, isn't it?

What do you think about what the guy said? I think you should only go see things that pique your interest. Right, but that's not exactly answering his question. Yeah, it is, no? But is that pique your interest because other people said it? Oh, no, because you think it looks interesting. The trailer looks interesting. Or the synopsis.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't, I mean. You know what you like better than you know you like but you don't know what you like before it happens though so i do understand his question is like like there is some sort of reason to oh man everyone's talking about this movie it must be good different different if if if if you hear a bunch of people being like oh man this movie of course yeah of course like participating culture if you feel like so inclined participating culture but you don't you don't say oh the new the new jumanji reboots yeah what is leonard malton i'm gonna go to to moviephone.com and see whatever that critic welcome to movie meanwhile

by the way movie critics now are just people with computers. Well, right. I know. It's somebody with 300 followers on Twitter. It's crazy. Like if you go to see who are like verified movie critics on Rotten Tomatoes,

which is the worst. I mean, there are bad. Rotten Tomatoes is the worst. There are bad aggregator sites and then there's Rotten Tomatoes. That is the most piece of shit wipe your ass. When I see some shit 100% fresh,

I want to fucking saw my testicles off. Here's the deal. There's one best rated movie of all time on Rotten Tomatoes. Do you know what it is? Wait, Deadpool? No. What? Paddington 2.

Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of critics reviewed Paddington 2 and gave it a positive review. There isn't one negative review of Pad paddington 2 and gave it positive a positive review there isn't one negative review of paddington 2 on rotten tomatoes there are hundreds of reviews of paddington 2 have you seen it it's unbelievable oh dude no i mean like what uh yeah i didn't know wrong right the thing about rotten tomatoes is and i've always said this is the people who rate the movie the specific movie that they're rating either love it or hate it nobody is just hey gotta go on my rotten tomatoes account and rate all these movies it's it's the

the it's that seven rings or ten rings movie the marvel one the asian one that everyone thought was so amazing on rotten tomatoes okay it's a pile right of heaping tan liquidy dog shit okay it's so it's so bad, it got 100%. Did it really? Okay. Because all of the Asians are like, finally. Oh, you mean the users? Yeah.

Oh, okay. I thought you meant, okay, yeah. We're talking about different things, but yeah. And then, of course, because of that, and it came out during this No Asian Hate, a lot of the critics were like, we love it. Sure, yeah. But the user ones are the worst ones. Well, that's even worse than a movie critic

because they're just doing the same thing, but they don't know how to write or think. So they're just like, I liked it. I liked it. But here's the thing. Movie-going experience isn't always so binary. You don't either love or hate movies. In fact, how often do you love or hate a movie?

It's rare. Salt Burn's a great example of it. I was like, I don't know, the whole whole movie and then i was like yeah okay i like the ending and i think i liked it honestly that's as good as any movie criticism you will read today what my brother just said about supper yeah that is the depth of of uh criticism that you go that you get when you go to these popular movie sites like i don't even know it's moving on a thing anymore probably move on but whatever those kinds of things you know maybe ash there are some movie critics that are still interesting but it's really they're really hard

to find slant magazine is interesting but it's it's dead movie criticism is dead movies are almost dead it doesn't bro i saw this review this is such a guy the guy always reviewed my specials bad and he he there are comedy special review things god wow i didn't even know that that is the dumbest agree because you're just saying is it funny or is it not funny to you exactly that's what i'm saying yes this guy was reviewing matt rife special and it was like trashing matt rife of course and you're saying of course because that's not because that's the thing to do right This guy was reviewing Matt Rife's special, and it was like trashing Matt Rife. Of course. And you're saying, of course, because that's not because Matt. That's the thing to do right now. Yeah, no, I don't think Matt's not funny.

No, I know. But it's so, and then somebody just took a screenshot of the guy's profile picture and replied to it. And it's like, of course this guy doesn't like matt rife oh he's a fucking bald fat loser and matt rife's like the most handsome that just fucking thinks he knows comedy who is and writes i don't even know i don't want to say his name i honestly don't i don't even know is he just a guy that review that you know he's a guy he's oh you see him around mont Montreal and shit, like the festival.

Oh, oh, oh. And he'd always review my shit bad. He obviously doesn't like a guy like me. Right. He obviously doesn't. He's a short,

fat, bald, fucking loser. Well, there are, I'm sure there are plenty of short, fat, bald losers who do like you though,

so I don't know. Of course, I love fat, bald losers. Yeah, me too. But this fat, bad loser,

I don't like. Right, of course. And because of that i'll call him a fat ball loser i see i see i see you know but it's like it's like dude it's it's so it's so and i saw he didn't like my right i was like oh here this fucking guy goes again dude and he matt's the biggest comedian yeah he's huge so it's like any critique i you it it makes no sense to ask your friends even at that but that's the best that's your best bet yeah yeah that's

your best bet or just see a thing dude there's no better feeling than not knowing anything i mean not i literally you took me to see Sexy Beast when I was like 15, I think I was when it came out. And I literally hadn't seen a trailer. I didn't know a single thing about it. I didn't even know who Jonathan Glazer was.

And I was like, me knowing nothing about it, seeing a movie in the theater that's that good, was like one of the best movie going experiences of my life. Yeah, you're welcome. And yeah, thank you.

And yeah. But that's obviously hard. You can't just go to the movie theater and yeah thank you uh and yeah but that's obviously hard you can't just go to the movie theater and be like uh that one paddington three you know um you got to know a little bit about something but sometimes the less you know the better that sounds interesting based on a little bit i know about it see that not paddington two you know i'm saying i agree okay see Okay. See both. Yeah. Paddington 2 is fantastic. Do a double feature. Do Paddington 2 second.

What? Do Paddington 2 second. Yeah. All right, cool. That's it. We're done. We're done. Leave a comment for us.

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