Lifeline - 94. Rockin' The Boat

Episode Date: January 28, 2024

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Episode 94. It's Sunday, January 28th. Isn't that beautiful? Oh, nice. You're doing it a little bit different. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

It's beautiful, isn't it? Wow. A robot. A robot. Oh, you know what's so awesome before we even talk about the things? What's awesome? How much when I eat. I got to clear my throat all the time for an hour afterwards. Yes, dude.

What's going on? What is it? Always mucusy after I eat. Oh, come on. Is that gross? The show just started. Is that gross? Yeah.

I mean, no, not really. It's only a little bit, though. It's not a lot. It's just like it gets my fluids going. I mean, now we're talking gross stuff. Now we're talking gross city. Look, you guys, this podcast is not possible unless people sign up for the Lifeline Luxury. A lot of you guys are on Lifeline Luxury, and we appreciate you guys so much.

Thank you so much. We love you. I love you the most. And if you want to join Lifeline Luxury, you can. It's patreon.com slash lifelineluxury. It's just really, really – now tell me if I'm wrong. It's just really, really popping off over there. It's popping off.

Yeah, we do episodes where there's no submissions, where it's just my brother and I messing around, and we have a good time. Actually, we really laugh hard, but whatever. Anyway, also Matt's new podcast, Private Record, is out now, so go check it out on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. Check it out and stuff. Yeah, and I'm going to be on tour.

I'm going to be in, what do in, um, what do you call it? Uh, Vancouver and, uh, can you pull it up? Ah, a hundred percent. And that's a hundred percent obvious. Uh, Vancouver, Kelowna, um, that chick, dude, that's hilarious. It was Vancouver, Kelowna, um, uh, uh, Rochester, Kitchener, Shreveport, Louisiana, Houston, Corpus Christi, Durham, and Norfolk, Virginia. Learning how to speak. Learning how to speak the way you said Norfolk.

That's beautiful. That's a beautiful thing. So, yeah. So, now, obviously, click out of it, right? So, what we would do would be click out of it, and then we'd go back to the other thing, right? Oh, that's interesting. There we go. Isn't that interesting?

Now, I don't want to have to talk to people like a school teacher. You got a question? You want to be on this show go to watch lifeline.com you need some advice you go to watch lifeline.com and you ask for advice and we give it to you unless you're boring uh you want one on one one on one on one on one advice sessions with me mattalia.com you do it you go there you get advice your life's better and everything's great and world peace happens after that uh you want the merch go to lifelinemerch.com yay yay you know what kind of gave me the short end of the stick but as he mentioned my podcast the private record is out in its own and popping and popping mr. take away so we just wanted to do that i wanted to do dj quick hold on but what do you mean i gave you the short end of the stick you didn't i just wanted to do it so i had to

come up with a way to say it again and i said you give you the short end of the stick? You didn't. I just wanted to do it, so I had to come up with a way to say it again, and I said you gave me the short end of the stick. You said I gave you the short end of the stick. Gonna absolutely terrorize me. No, I don't understand why you said that. Can you please explain it? It's okay. Well, I didn't really get to expand on it because you ran into your tour dates.

But I did it up front for you, which is a nice thing. I was nice. And I just wanted to say a little bit more. I said it slow and nice. Thank you. I really did. I don't think you... Do you know that?

Yeah, I didn't. I wasn't like, oh, damn, he gave me the short end of the stick. But you did actually, in actuality... Yeah, because we're making jokes, and what we do is make jokes, right? Well, but they need to have a little bit of truth in it, right?

Don't just say... Not really. Not when they're like that. When they have truth in them and they're actually real, that's not good okay right i because it's like yeah i know i think someone's like why would you say i look fat in this and they're like well i'm kidding well it's like well because i only said it because there's a little bit of truth in it and then you got a problem no that's not true you know if i say you look fat in that it just obviously silly but

you said i gave you the short end of the stick wow. But what I want to know is why you said that. Because I just wanted to bring it up again in a real short way. And that's the thing that I chose to say. I was unexamined. Just wanted to get it done. But look at this now. I'm just curious. Would you just look at it now?

So now you have the long end of the stick. Yeah, now it's the longest possible. You get the longest end. I don't even know if there was a short end. We didn't get it. Is there even such a thing as a long end? If it's a long end of a stick, it's just a big stick. A giant when you drink it. Magic mind. That's how I always throw my magic mind bottle. Cool, man. It's cool. You want to talk about magic mind? No, we don't have to. But also,

what were you saying about the long end of the stick? Thank you. Thank you. Wow. Why? Because that was just not great. It wasn't great to see i you know i'm i'm more organic wow i'm more just kind of whatever whatever happens to do something so dick like that ruin the aesthetic of the show and say i'm just more organic so wait so uh yeah dude um my son will go like that we were talking about that earlier earlier on right before the show he'll be like hey dad are you ready first of all he always says are you ready watch watch this and then i'll say what and he'll go like this and like he'll look around and do something you should turn it around and with a real stern look in your eyes and with a real stern voice say, are you ready?

Because he's not even ready. So turn the tables on him. You're right. Make him understand that life is not a walk in the park. It's not some kind of cakewalk. Well, Calvin, are you ready? Well, Calvin, are you ready? I don't know if you, in your mind right now,

understand what it is you want to show me. So what is it you want to show me real quick? Right, yeah. Get him. Catch him. Catch him in the act. We're both wearing kind of like sweatshirts that are like nice. Down syndrome.

Come on. Yeah, but you have down syndrome for saying that. You can't? I don't like that. Why? I don't know. No, you know what? It's all right. Down syndrome people rule and they bring up cool stuff. Yeah, you're right. You're right. You're right make that. You can't? I don't like that. Why? I don't know. No, you know what, it's all right.

Who cares? Down syndrome people rule and they bring up cool stuff. Yeah. Yeah, you're right, you're right, you're right. Okay, take it back, hey, take it back, hey. So you were trying to, you were acting a little bit too like.

I just, I don't love. I don't wanna say virtual signaling. No, I'm taking it back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, gotcha. So there's no signaling there. But no, for real, look at us, look at our sweatshirts. Yeah, we have sweatshirts on. But I'm saying they're like nice ones.

Well, where's that from? Well, where's that from? Urban Outfitters? So competitive. No. I mean, oh, dogging me, dude. Dogging me, dude. No, it's from Le Tien.

What is it? Le Tien. Well, I don't know what that is. I mean, it's just the brand. It's a nice brand. The cotton's from Portugal or whatever. Making it up. How do you know it's nice?

Because I get a lot of their stuff. Got it. Okay? And it's the only kind of designer thing that I like. Really? Yeah. You always care about labels. Don't you want to?

No, no, no. I do. I've heard of L'Étienne before. I'm like, don't you want to peep it? L'Étienne? Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's nice.

Yeah, I see the website. Yeah, dude. So look at that guy. Chilling, dude. He's chilling. It's very comfortable clothing. In fact, people that don't know what's up right i'll wear it uh-huh and they'll be like oh well you didn't have to dress

up for this oh that and i grab him by the collar yeah pull him close and i said if you only knew how much this cost me i don't like you only knew i don't like i don't like people do that kind of stuff you didn't have to get dressed somebody said that to me the other day, and I actually thought I had something nice on. You probably did. And they said that, and I was so confused. And if it was you, we would have a half-hour conversation about why you said that. Yeah.

I wanted to ask him so badly. I didn't understand what it was. Who was it? That's so not like you to not ask. I know. Look how nice all the clothing is. I think I just wanted to get out of the situation. I also just copped a lot of stuff from there

because they had a sale. Okay. So you're going to be seeing quite get out of the situation. I also just copped a lot of stuff from there because they had a sale. Okay. So you're going to be seeing quite a bit of these things on my body. Well, that's fine. It is kind of weird to be wearing sweatpants during the day the whole time. But I do that.

It's a whole suit, baby. I do that. And I have the hoodie version of this, okay? If you were a chick, would you be on OnlyFans? And I don't even mean would you show everything? I have a really, really quick and ready-made answer for you, but before I even answered, I wanted you to know.

Yeah. Rarely is there such a definitive answer to a question. Yeah, I know the answer is no. No, the answer is 100% yes. Oh. 100% absolutely yes. Yeah. Because you don't even have to show anything.

You can- You show feet. Just collect so much money. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? We were actually talking about this the other day, but life for a hot chick is so easy. It can be, right?

Of course. If you're not so fucked up in the head because sometimes i don't i actually have to say i don't know why every hot woman isn't absolutely crazy because wait wait wait because the world say that again i'm sorry i don't i want to make sure to be a hot woman could you imagine but but no say the thing you said i want to okay i want to understand make sure i understand what you said i can't believe every hot woman isn't absolutely insane you can't believe they're not yes okay yeah okay yeah because of the way people treat them i agree right yeah so it's like it's like you don't expect you meet uh brad pitt you don't expect him to be normal right well no well but for a lot of reasons right right yeah but that's the male version of it

right but even brad pitt who wouldn't be successful he still looks like oh okay yeah no i'm talking about the fame stuff oh you are talking yes i am yes i'm talking about the fame okay yeah um like you don't expect you know shyla buff to be normal he's been famous since he was say yeah 14 you know he's completely crazy i mean whatever so it's like when you see a really beautiful woman who's already at this point 35 you're like oh well she's gotta be insane right and you're saying when they're not it's astounding is that what you're saying yeah okay yeah yeah because because of what you presume their life experience to have been right yes yeah okay yes the power that they hold that they either realize they have or they don't realize they have well it's also on

the way men treat beautiful women no i know it's so skewed yeah it's crazy so they're it's like you got no chance if it's both sides yeah it's not yeah yeah it's not just women but isn't that what you're saying is why they have that skewed sense because they're treated so differently than most people yeah yeah okay yeah i'm just making sure yeah yeah yeah and so uh so but what they don't what some don't understand is how easy life can be for you if you are that and they and they and they, and they, and why, and why? Oh, wow, dude. Cutting room floor, Brian Gumbel, you know? And why?

Oh, dude, why? Because like, if you're a hot woman and you're 26 and you're somewhere, you don't have to do anything. Everyone else will do it for you. And then also, you can just be a millionaire. Well, that's the last thing you said is the thing that... You can be a millionaire. Yeah, right. Dude, if you're beautiful and a woman

and you're not a millionaire, what's wrong with you? Well, no, and you want to be a millionaire. Well, right, right, right. And you want to be a millionaire, yeah. Then if you... Yeah, exactly. If you're like,

oh, I wish I had more money. Like, there's a very... That's all I'm saying. There's a couple very clear paths for you to do such a millionaire, yeah. Then if you, yeah, exactly. If you're like, oh, I wish I had more money. Like there's a very- That's all I'm saying. There's a couple very clear paths for you to do such a thing. And by the way, you don't even have to show your naked body. You don't have to do that. You don't have to do that. You can simply just be.

Can we talk about feet though? What is the feet thing? What is the foot fetish? I don't know. I don't have it. Some of my friends have it. They do? Yeah.

One friend. I don't think I know. I'm sure I know people that have it, but nobody I know has ever said it to me that I know. I don't have it at all. It's feet. And I guess this is part of it, but they like touch the ground. They get dirty. I don't think that is part of it.

It's not part of the dominance thing? No, I don't think so. Oh, really? I don't think so. I think a foot fetish is just a- A body part that they feel like? Yeah, yeah. Like me in arms?

Yeah. Interesting. Or me in cocks. Oops. All right. You want to go into a submission or what? Let's do it. It's like me in balls and cocks.

Oh, shit. This guy's the shit. What's up, Chris? What's up, Matt? Lee here. A GTA fan. I absolutely love you guys. You're hilarious.

Always making me and my girlfriend laugh all the time. It doesn't happen. It doesn't happen. Always watching Lifeline. And if not Lifeline, Ron, congratulations. So thank you guys. You're amazing. Nice.

Quick question for you. So I work in a luxury market. I sell luxury cars, Land Rover and Jaguar. Cool. And I work with this guy. And he is absolutely and most utterly not funny. His joke delivery is terrible. but he always makes the same joke that he doesn't like me usually if somebody would make that joke more than two to three times

it starts to feel personal sure so i'm not really sure what i should do obviously if this were to be in the street or something i would tell him to do something about it but because i'm at work and i have to keep a professional approach and not like a weird tension in the air yeah um is there something bunny i could say to him to just absolutely shut him up or you know do you guys think i should get serious with him i think but then again i don't want to make it weird you don't so uh i would just love to know what you guys think uh but other than that keep doing what you're doing love you guys thank you so much thanks bro dude that guy's cool dude yeah cool look at him he looks so cool he's cool, dude. Yeah. Cool. Look at him. He looks so cool. He's a cool dude.

Yeah. And he's, I bet he's so good at his job. Sometimes guys are cool, huh? Yeah. How about that? How about that? You look at a guy like that though, and you're like, oh, you get why, like, I always think it's so interesting.

Like that guy could be successful probably in a lot of different areas. Yeah. I know what I'm saying. And it's like. You know who I always think about that is our friend Jeff. We have a friend. Got it. Yeah. Yeah. I know. You know what I'm saying? And it's like- You know who I always think about that is our friend Jeff. We have a friend, Jeff. Got it.

Yeah, yeah. I know him, right? Yeah, yeah. For sure. Yeah. And it's like, and some people are just born to do, like me,

I could not be success- I could be successful in some things, but very few. Yeah, one, comedy. No, there are- My mind is crazy. What else could you do? You're so lucky that's a thing.

You don't think that? Saying, oh, so dumb. You don't think that? I think that about you. I always thought about you, like if that didn't exist, you'd be a straight hobo riding the rails, you know? Oh. The Dharma bumps.

Saying oh is, honestly saying oh about anything is so dumb sounding dude just oh oh yeah dude i i don't know but you're amazing you're like a savant that's what i mean though like no i understand you're not amazing at the one thing and then it's like they're inept at other things. That's you. It's kind of that way, yeah? Yeah, yeah. But I know what you're saying about guys who are like, you could be anything.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm not like that. But anyway. Because sales is across, like generally that's for sales. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sales, right, right. And that's so many different businesses. Making a livings. Making a livings.

In a livings color. So, all right. So, I don't think you should try to make a joke about it because then you sound passive-aggressive and it'll get lost and it'll get messy and it'll be weird anyway dude i did the most passive-aggressive thing the other day oh my god go ahead bro and i think i'll i think i'll i it this is the definition of passive-aggressive and i didn't realize it until i got called out and guess what i'm gonna keep doing it because it's so dope oh okay okay so there we go but what is it but but that's why

i wanted to start the story i understand okay and we'll get then we'll get back to the guy yes i understand okay yeah the gta character so um hey man want to buy a car yeah that's um just so slowly walking in a circle half circle away from you come on man let me show you i think i got the right thing for you hey watch out he says right after that connected to nothing you did um um so i we were in arizona me and uh and kristen i think it was i think it was just us in the car. Yeah, it was. And I was like, how do you get there? So we have a thing in our relationship.

Whoever drives, the other person will look up the directions on the phone. And when I say that, I'm realizing in the middle of me talking about it, that's wrong and not true. Okay. It seemed like something tripped you up. Okay, now I get it. Because she's always the one that looks up the directions no matter what. Even if she's wrong and not true okay it seemed like something tripped you up yeah now i get it uh because she's always the one that looks up the directions no matter what even if she's driving yeah okay and i always want to be the one that is i'll do it you drive she says no i like to

use my shit oh okay so all right fine but she's always the one that looks up the thing no matter what because i always want to use the car one she doesn't want this she's like you're an old guy i want to use my phone that's such an old guy thing. I know. Who uses their actual car's navigation system? You know why I like to do it? You know why I like to do it? Why? Because I don't like Apple Play, and then I like to do,

hey, Mercedes, go home. Yes, direct and hold. Telling your car to leave you. Uh-oh. Oh, no. So anyway, get out. So anyway, she's doing the thing. We don't know where we're going.

We've got to go to the Desert Ridge Improv. We've got to go see Brian Callen, you know? Oh, okay. And we get to the first turn, the first right or left, okay? Now, I don't know where I'm going, right? She's doing that with Poke with pokemons oh okay no i sit at the stop sign and i go and i go like this uh-huh i mean okay she's she's not even realizing what's going on at all i'm like i'm just gonna wait as long as i can and where's the mad meter then the mad meter yeah

oh dude it's a good thing we have a sunroof oh you're a piss oh dude okay you know you don't think it's funny at all that that's happening because it happens too much oh okay okay didn't know that nice to meet you okay yeah welcome to the world so so uh so she is doing it and i go, she's not looking at me. But I want her to look at me now because I want to get there. I don't want to be late. But also I want to really land this fucking passive aggressive shit. So I smile, dude. I just go.

Okay, that's scary. I know. And then finally she goes, Jesus, what? I say, I don't know where to go. finally she goes jesus what i say i don't know where to go and what does she laugh she goes babe come on that's so passive-aggressive just tell me yeah she said just say just say hey which way do i go right i know she is okay yeah yeah okay and at any point did you express anger at her? No. Okay, good. But that doesn't matter. No, then you did it right.

No, I did do it right. But it doesn't matter because she's still going to be upset. Oh, that's no good. Yeah. Okay. Sorry, Kristen. How many times in your head have you done to a girlfriend of yours where you go like, okay, you got to be as nice as you possibly can.

Oh, my God. You got to be as nice as you possibly can. Story of my life. Hi, sweetheart. It might not be the best idea to leave the door open because the dog can run away. Yeah. And she just, oh, you go, oh, well, fuck, man. Or. heart it might not be the best idea to leave the door open because the dog can run away yeah and she just oh you go oh well fuck man or why did you say it's so shitty and you're like i actually in

my head made it to where okay chris don't do the thing in my experience it's actually not even the crying no i know it's like oh okay i did it wrong but still i mean you know so hard on yourself so that's fucking stupid. So anyway, that guy, you should definitely just approach the person. And be real. Yeah. You're dressed like be real, so be real. But first be like, look, I don't want it to be weird at all.

Like be as straightforward and real about that. Because that's true. You're like, I don't want this to be weird at all. But like, what's up with like the joke you always make about that? I wonder what he does. I'm starting to feel like, is everything all right right like that's that's not that's not even making it weird if you do that there's a way to be weird about that but it's not intrinsically necessarily weird okay so just like go into the thing knowing it's not weird present it up front as like you

want to make sure it's not weird and it won't be weird. And just ask him. Yeah. I wonder what he says. He said he make jokes about how he doesn't like him. That's yeah. Which here's the it always come back to the same thing for me, man. This guy's like, I'm starting to take it personally.

And here's why he's taking it personally. The guy's not funny. Right. Be funny. Right. If you want to try to be funny you actually you have to be i did but it's it's what i saw yeah it's like i always it always comes up if you don't want to be a dick be funny instead but if you're not funny you're always going to be a dick yep you don't square is this rectangle rectangle square it's like that thing it's yeah it's not just oh if i make a joke then it's funny no you have to be funny on top of that the the joke itself means nothing if the vessel itself isn't able to make it right i mean how many times have you made a joke and it didn't land and you're like uh oh shit bro i didn't i didn't mean that i was trying to be

funny right not me never it always works but no yeah exactly i've seen you do that i'm saying me it's never happened to me ever in my life i was saying yes because yes of course i've seen you exhibit that behavior because it always happens but that is a thing that is not done by me but mostly you no it's done you understand what it is because you do it i understand what it is and i have no idea what it is to experience it the only reason why it doesn't happen with you sometimes because you learn from me but anyway dude we're honestly we're such brothers yeah yeah gotta absolutely throttle me in that great the minute the second after he says we cut the episode are we good we're all gonna have a broken i'm gonna have a broken skull all right broken for

a number of reasons okay uh next hey what's up y'all um i'm a big fan uh my name is draven i'm coming from san and jordan that's sick and uh i was watching your latest episode and i saw the guy he was talking about how he looks at reviews before he watches a movie oh yeah which is hilarious because my ex would always want to watch like the shittiest movies and uh i'd be like yeah we'll watch it if it has more than 67 on rotten tomatoes and people say what they will about rotten tomatoes i feel like i find that typically typically uh there's a few movies that have like 30 that i love yeah uh but but typically i'm in line with like Rotten Tomatoes, which is so probably, you know,

telling of who I am. Whatever. Yeah, who cares? I was curious about, you know, we have our favorite actors. Some of my favorite actors are among like,

it's like, Has never seen the movie. Realizing it now. Let's see, Christoph Waltz. Oh, wow. Jesse Eisenberg. Wow. Ryan Gosling. Interesting. Everybody, wow. Jesse Eisenberg. Wow.

Ryan Gosling. Interesting. Everybody's got to love Ryan Gosling. I'm into Keanu Reeves now. Yeah. I'm loving his stuff. We don't need the list, but anyway. Obviously, Leonardo DiCaprio.

Okay. And a lot of these are big names that I'll probably get hate from all the hipsters and shit. That's okay, man. You're good, man. I was curious, who are some of y'all's favorite actors of all time and what do you think draws you to that uh i'll watch anything that douglas that class of actor you know cam anything will what what what brings you to that actor and what makes them your favorite you know yeah i know chris has said in the past he's a big keanu fan

and big uh al pacino fan who's not yeah of course uh but matt i'd be interested to get your perspective on this but i will yeah let me know so okay i sounds good i genuinely i do i love keanu reeves love bruce willis love you know but i will genuinely genuinely watch anything with michael douglas in it. Anything. Anything. There's no other person, there's no other actor like that for me. You know what's up with Michael Douglas?

What? He is a great actor, but he just is a great movie star. Right. And that's the difference. It's like Denzel kind of, yeah. Well, Denzel, the crazy thing about Denzel,

he's a true unicorn. Because he's a phenomenal actor. He's like the best actor in history and a movie star. So for me, that is my, you're saying Michael Douglas, that's who it is for me. I would watch Denzel Washington. You'd watch the Macbeth one he did? I did watch it.

Wow, you'd watch Fences? I saw Fences. I literally will see- Wow. And I've seen all the Equalizer movies too now. But there are a couple others, I guess. Book of Eli? I saw Book of Eli.

Wow. That's truly trash. Trash movie. Safe House is cool. Safe House is cool. That's the best death scene I've ever seen. Dude, that's what I said. Really?

Yeah, I said the same exact thing. I thought he died. Yeah, he really died. The best dying on screen acting is in Safe House. You said this yes dude we must have talked about this it is probably yeah oh you know what we saw it together maybe did we i don't know bro but i i actually was like we saw the equalizer actually was like wow he looks like he died he just is sitting there against the the wall and just goes he's

kind of crumpled up on it yeah yeah and there's a moment where you're like he doesn't even really do much but there's a moment where he does it and you're like oh he died oh you think oh denzel washington died he's dead yeah yeah all right check out denzel r.i.p so yeah he's uh he's the one for me there are other actors that i love yeah lesser known actors that i love there's this dude named shea wiggum well he's great yeah he's phenomenal if you don't know he is he's he's steve buchanan's brother on boardwalk empire he's probably, he's great, yeah. He's phenomenal, yeah. If you don't know who he is, he's Steve Buscemi's brother on Boardwalk Empire. He's probably what he's most known for. But he's in a ton of shit. Nicolas Cage, I'll generally watch anything.

Nicolas Cage is that way. He's in a ton of true trash, though. But that's the thing, Michael Douglas, I will watch a romantic comedy with Michael Douglas. The American President? I would watch any, yeah, I would turn, absolutely. Something about Michael Douglas. I think he's such a quintessential man to me, you know?

One of the reasons why I like Bruce Willis. So is his dad. That's weird, actually. Both father and son actors are like very much like classic prototypical male specimens. Yeah. Male specimens. Don't do that.

I say male specimens. I don't like that. I like to say male specimens who did that who did that it's uh what's his name is it uh the guys on in living color no um uh ladies man oh my god wow love love the best snl movie spin-off everybody oh yeah everybody loves to pummel me for this but I think it's's the ladies' men. Ladies' men is so funny. Yeah. All right. So, yeah. So, what was his question, though? Oh, who do we like yet? Michael

Douglas. Anybody else? Well, yeah. Keanu, Nicolas Cage. Not anybody you didn't say. No. No. It's just, I mean... I'm trying to think of anybody young, like a young actor that I really like. I mean, I love Ryan Gosling. Yeah, but not being young. Yeah, great. he's 43 yeah uh

knows everything about ryan gosling jake jillian ryan's great ryan gosling jake jillian hall's great um but people i'll see in anything there might only be one in that state is that washington yeah if there was one it's michael douglas right that's cool all right we did it great job michael doug is still alive huh hey matt hey chris uh shout out to lifeline luxury love you guys hell yeah so i know that we've talked about people who are waiting in line and when they get up to cash register they take forever to order well i was just in line for the atm and that was the most infuriating thing when someone went up to take their money out and they just dicked around and then it's

like they didn't know how much they wanted to take out when they got there crazy you take out one amount know what you want to take out when you yeah of course so i just want to know if i'm the only person that got super fucking angry or maybe i just need to chill out i just and real quick i do have a oops button from chris and I was just wondering when we're going to get the bing bong button from Matt. Oh, yeah. That would be too bad. Because I would buy that button so fast. Yeah.

Love you guys. The bing bong. Dude, what? What? How have I never even thought of that? I don't know. Bing bong. What do you think of that?

When I go bing bong? I don't think. What's the amount? That's good. What's the amount? That you take out. So wanted me to stop talking about the bing bong button. Okay. What's the amount that you were? That I take out? You said there's the amount? That's good. What's the amount that you take out? So wanted me to stop talking about the Bing Bong button. Okay, what's the amount that you were?

That I take out? You said there's one amount. Well, no. He's saying know the amount that you want. I actually misspoke because there is one amount that I do. And I don't think that's right for everyone. No, yeah. Right.

No. Here's why I do one amount always. And I take out 300 bucks always. But I probably do it once you don't ever get cash never i like having like a little bit of cash on me i but i do i like because i get paid in cash sometimes i don't that's why i see me with the brook kissing okay i don't like i for whatever this is so old school i mean this is so like dad of me but i don't really like of me, but I don't really like depositing bigger checks on mobile. I like going to the ATM to do it. Okay. Call me crazy. I just do. You don't go into the bank?

Well, I don't like to go to a teller ever, dude. Really? Yeah. Oh, I love doing that. Okay. Anyway, I went to the ATM to deposit some checks. I go in the bank. They have the teller, like the automated tellers. It's not really an ATM machine. I know what the bank. They have the teller, like the automated tellers. Yeah. It's not really an ATM machine. I know what it is. But it is. Okay. Anyway, so I'm waiting on, there's this one guy, one guy at the machine and there's, that's

it. Okay. There's actually nobody else even in the bank. Okay. So I'm behind him. I'm like, obviously I'm not one of those people that's going to crowd. I like, I'm like six feet behind this guy. You stay far back enough.

I'm as far back as I can actually get because there's that island where you felt there's the checking deposit slip, the savings slip. I'm all the way back against that. The whole time this guy's at this thing and it's taking too long.

Okay. Taking way too long. The whole time he's looking back at me like this. Oh God. And I'm, and I realized like, oh, is he paranoid?

So I, then I'm like, okay, I'm going to like move my eyes. So he doesn't even think I'm doing this. Right, right, right. The guy thinks he's invisible. And then he's taking too long,

and I'm like trying to really bite my tongue like this nice woman. No, I can't do that anymore. Anyway, he finally finishes up. He looks back at me, and he says, the line's over there. I look to where he's pointing to where the line is and no one's in it. So he just wants you to stand where you're supposed to stand. Yes.

And it took me a little bit too long to process what he even meant. Right, right. Because usually you like to do the slamage right on the spot. Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you miss your slammage moment, it's gone. You're like me, though.

It took too long. You're like me, though. You want to make sure you're not being a dick for no reason. Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, wait. So sometimes it takes a little bit. And it took me a while.

I was like, what does he even think was happening? And by the time he got to the door, slammage opportunity was already gone. Hey, by the way. Yeah, exactly. You can't do that. The line was where I wanted. There was nobody in the bank. It's just like, why are people this way?

People out there who are that way, why are you this way? I always wondered. Everyone wants to know. I always wondered when I was going to start really confronting people. Because you see old guys and they're like people. And I, it, it, cause you see old guys and they're like,

move. Oh yeah. Yeah. I'm like, when am I going to be like that? Because they, what I'm going to be like that. Oh, it hasn't happened yet.

I'm like, no, it did. Yeah, it did. Yeah. And I, I,

and there's been hints of it with me where I go, Hey, what are you doing? This and that. It officially happened the other day. Okay. I was in line at the valet for my own show i wasn't going to give the car to the valet i was going to park in my spot but the valet was in the

way okay oh okay and i was like uh the guy was taking too long first of all the guy was taking too long to get out of the car okay the valet guy no the guy the guy who had the car oh and so i was like what the fuck is going on and then so i rolled down the window and i say hey um what's going on is it you know is everything good or you know and they're like yeah we got it and then i hear the valet guys say to the guy like yeah we got a line back and i'm like yeah god people like that it's taking entirely too long the guy gets out walks around the this other side of the car i can't see him okay the valet guy is now at the passenger or at the uh driver's side not in it but with the door open talking to the dude through the car on the

other side right okay the parked and and i'm like well this is we'll wrap up in two seconds so i don't have to say anything sure yeah again now even that takes entirely too long can you hear anything no okay no no no i can't hear anything so i'm like i already said one thing i heard myself say hey move the car it just popped like i didn't realize i said it it's like breathing it just i couldn't i could i said hey move the car huh wow and the guy turned to me and he said hey man why don't you relax the valet guy oh the valet yeah he got in the mix and i'm like we got to move the car man yeah yeah like what's going on and he was like i can't man i can't right now and i was like okay you know because also that i'm me you know so i don't want it to be like

sure oh chris lee is yelling at a fucking valet guy right so so i get out of the car i park and i'm like i gotta say something to the guy which i can't just let that go like that the valet guy yeah yeah because what was happening? See, that's the difference between you and me. I don't care. Yeah, no, I got it. I just want to get what I get. No, I got to know.

You got to know. You know what I got to know? Because what if something actually was going on? I need to be like, oh shit, my bad. Genuinely, okay? Well, we can assume something was probably going on. Anyway, go ahead. Yeah, we can assume something was going on.

But what though? See, that's what I'm on. Anyway, go ahead. Yeah, we can assume something was going on. But what, though? See, that's what I'm saying. I don't care. Oh, I couldn't get my big red out of the center console. Big red. I'd lose my mind. Right. Okay, so what?

You asked him. So I walk up and I say, buddy, you couldn't move the car? Like, what the fuck? And he was like, yeah, man, I actually couldn't. And I was like, huh? Wow. And he says says because somebody stole a car the guy had the car stolen and uh he needed to show me how to use the key because

it wasn't working because how the car was stolen and they use the key and i'm just like okay well obviously there was just some reason so now i know what's going on and now i know what should have what should have happened was the valet guy should have said hey there's actually something wrong with the car sorry but he jumped to you yeah yeah and then he was like chill bro chill bro well he was probably already frazzled already yeah he was holding everything up so so then i do the show oh wow okay and i'm like you know what fuck it it's not worth it it's stupid i feel bad i walk out and i say to the guy you know in my head i've got this romantic version of hey dude sorry i got mad he's gonna be like dude that's all right the car was like this i'm sorry too you know yeah yeah because in my head he's still kind

of in the wrong of course okay he is yeah um i come out and i say hey man i just say sorry i got so mad he was like that's. I'm not tripping. Wait, that bothered you? That's not acceptable to you? Why? Why? Why is that bad? That seems okay.

Say more. Like what? I'm sorry? Yeah, and also don't say, it's all right, I'm not tripping. But what that means is it's water under the bridge. I know, but also say like, yeah, I shouldn't snap.

So you want him under the bridge? Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway. Did you say that? The guy's obviously- Actually, you should- No, but

now we'll see this, you know? Yeah. I should say the guy actually seemed like a good dude. The valet guy? Yeah,

he just seemed like he was like fucking annoyed, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I don't know, man. It's weird. People don't do that. People don't say sorry.

And it's usually a woman. People don't do... Wow. This is deeper. People don't do ever. People don't ever do what you want them to do. So put that in your pipe and smoke it. All right.

I don't want you to say that. Next one. How about that? Next one. Yo, what is up? Chris and Matt. big fan of the podcast chris thank you been listening since day one and congratulations that's cool all right guys so here's my dilemma i'm in a new apartment where my downstairs neighbor is piece of shit um i'm on my fourth complaint by him by not even being that loud whatsoever so i'll have my speaker on at 50%. And next thing I know, got the apartment complex calling me.

The quiet hours are between 10 p.m. and 8 a.m. I'm being disruptive around 4 p.m. and 10 in the morning. So normal hours of living. How do you all go about the situation? Do I stomp like an elephant and say fuck you to my neighbor or i don't know go put a no in his door i don't know how to handle this you guys looking forward to answers till next time i have a feeling about this already i've thought about this kinds of things i used to live in apartment and shit but like i i think that it's

the unfortunate thing unless it's super egregious see i okay so what i want to say is it's just part of living in an apartment yeah if somebody thinks it's too loud you should turn it lower but then i'm like also if you're a neighbor and someone's playing their music let them play their fucking music get over it here's the fuck if it if it's too loud obviously yeah but here's the fucked up thing i used to live too loud, obviously. Yeah, but here's the fucked up thing. I used to live in a loft and I lived there for a really long time and people would come and go in the other units on my floor.

And a few years in, at first when I moved in, the people in the apartment next to mine would play music really loud, so much so that the top level of the loft where I would sleep, the wall would shake. That's crazy. It it was crazy but they lived there before me oh so i was like still still and then and then they moved out in like five months okay so i lived there for many years then about

three years later uh another couple moves in they're actually really nice. They introduce themselves to me, whatever. But I notice that at certain hours of the night, assuming it's when they're watching a movie together, there's just this sub... It's like there's a subwoofer in my head. Wow. It's shaking the wall. It's rattling the bed.

It's just like, what? Maybe it's his fart. How loud are they? Wow, you know, so immature. How loud are they playing this? And then then at a certain point i was like i can't not i'm like such a like loser if i don't go talk to yeah yeah yeah you gotta say something you're just like it's also like i don't want to let it let let him live let him live let him live but then it's like well let me live too right because also you'd want somebody to say it to you i think i would right so i go over there and i complain and he's nice about it he's like what do you mean you complain well i'm just like hey i don't know

but like it's really i tell him i just tell him what's going on he's like okay cool yeah wow okay and i realized he doesn't think he was playing it loud yeah yeah yeah my initial impression yeah and i'm like but whatever okay thanks he turns it down okay next night maybe then one next night after that same exact thing oh wow i go over there again i'm like hey dude i don't know since we're like trying to figure this out like and he's like he's like you're mean to tell me your wall is shaking yeah and i was like yeah and he's clearly not like believing me i don't know if i would either and i'm like i don't really give a shit if he believes me he's like he's like all well, why don't you come in? Like,

I'm going to show you. Right. We get in. He puts, he hits play on the movie. It's the most tame volume ever, dude. My point is sometimes

it's just the way shit's built, dude. Yeah. Yeah. The neighbor thinks you're being loud not because you are.

So don't think that like the neighbor's being an asshole. Something about the building might be amplifying it beneath you. So what did you, so what did you do then? not because you are right so don't think that like the neighbors being an asshole something about the building might be amplifying it beneath you so what did you so what did you do then i was like dude i don't know what to do we decided we realized it was just the placement of the speaker was on the ground in a certain corner making the wall like it was like where the speaker was not at all the volume yeah did you ever have him come over to your place and hear the wall shake and then fuck him well we fucked but he didn't come check the wall his place we made the wall

shake but not uh with a subwoofer yeah check it out check out my boy i mean yeah it's definitely you know crazy that's so stupid yeah so my point is maybe the person is not a terrible person. It's just like the way your building is built. I had a neighbor like that that was below me. Below me? That was below me.

And she was, you know, like 60. And I can't remember why, but she invited me to her apartment once to show me something or something. It's unsexual. It wasn't. But, and she was like, this is my peach palace. Into the,

like she was a fucking, like it was Super Mario Brothers. And I walked in and everything was peach. Color. Yes. And no, the fruit.

We ate it all. Peaches everywhere? And everything was peach and she had like glamour shots of her when she was younger oh wow it was crazy wild

did you get scared for a second nah because she was like really old not just her age but right right right I got it

an old 60 yeah yeah okay alright nope yeah alright next one but yeah wait hold on sorry yeah we should say some advice what was it which I think is Yeah. Yeah. Okay. All right. No. Yeah. All right. Next one. But yeah.

Wait, hold on. Sorry. Yeah. We should say some advice. What was it? Which I think is you can write a note back. If you think someone's complaining too much,

a note is, is fine and cool. And just be, don't be confrontational though. Just be like, Hey, if you would like to come over and check out how not loud this is, I'm open to it,

but maybe we can avoid the official channel because I don't play my music loud you know be reasonable and then if they're not reasonable back then you can escalate because you have no choice equalizer then you can equalize but yeah try being reasonable okay appeal to reason all right hi guys love the show um chris i have a question for you so uh i watched the golden hour and i see your friendship with brendan and it's a lot like mine and my husband's when it comes to saying i'm gay me trying to explain something and they're you know bre, Brendan's like getting it all wrong or just not understanding and we're always like, that's not what I'm saying.

What I'm saying is, and I'm just like, I have those conversations so much. So I just want to know like, how do you make your point across to someone who is not understanding what you're saying and you're explaining it over and over

and you're like, am I crazy or? You don't. Humor. Just humor. Have fun with it. How do you with it do it because i need to learn you don't do it bye thanks people won't understand you sucks do you know i'm saying yeah i mean we do that yeah but i think it's fun to do that that's that's the problem that's the difference like i think it's fun to to try and explain something to someone if they're not getting it i think it's fun to try and explain something to someone. If they're not getting it, I think it's even more fun. And so what?

So she's like, how do you? But no, I understand what she's asking. But she's saying, or rather implying, that it obviously is a problem for her and her husband. Have fun with it. Have fun with it. That's what I do. That's it.

And that's it. And I've thought about this a lot, and that's it. Also, just to expand on that, like the way sometimes when you're like, have fun with it and someone's like, but it's not fun. You kind of have to explain how you can do that. And one way to do that is like,

of all people in the world, I would assume your husband is the one you're most interested in. He has a mind that is incapable of understanding things the way your mind does. That is interesting interesting try to get at or get into get inside the way his mind works and have fun with that is what i think he's saying yeah okay cool all right or have fun with divorce you know yeah or or get a divorce

see how fun that is a children's book all right next one hey guys quick video so much coke um my wife does something that annoys the living hell out of me and i can't shit talk her for it because she's my wife i want to love her well sure sure okay but the problem is no any time that i that's annoying like have a matter of fact like oh i didn't I didn't know that. She will claim that she does know that. For example, I will look at a playground and be like, I didn't know they had a really long slide there. And she's like, you didn't know that? And she does it on everything.

And the thing that makes me the most mad is half the time I know she doesn't know that that specific park has a slide. Well, that's what makes it the worst. But everything. How do you know that that specific park has a slide. Well, that's what makes it the worst. With everything. How do you know that? What is a spin move that I can do to not be a dick to my wife, but also let her know that's what I'm doing? Therein lies the rub, right?

Love you guys. Thanks, man. Matt, you're smarter. Chris, you're funnier. Someone had to say it. If you, when you get, when you get, when you get to the, I mean, it's so going to get to the point where he just like snaps. Yeah.

And he's just like, no, you don't. Right, which is what he wants to avoid. Yeah. You came to the right place. You really did, bro. I couldn't not – yeah, you didn't know that, did you? I would do that. I have done that.

I mean, I will bring it up a day later if it like i would i would bring it up again there's no way i could let that go fuck i'm annoying but i think maybe maybe like or maybe even act like you think it's funny and be like wait wait wait wait wait but you didn't know that, right? Like that, right? Or something. Here's the thing.

You can't keep letting it slide and do nothing. Cause like he was saying, like my brother was saying, you will snap. Nah, you know what you do? You will snap if you don't release that valve. I know what you do.

Okay, go ahead. When did you learn that? When did you learn that? You're playing with fire do. Okay, go ahead. When did you learn that? When did you learn that? You're playing with fire though. Yeah, I know. Okay. But why?

Why am I playing with fire? You're playing with fire because what that- Implies that you're lying? Yeah. No. Okay, so I got a rebuttal for that because I thought that's what you were going to say. Okay. When did you learn that?

That's so close to me when you put your hand. When did you learn that? Why? Why did you want to know when I learned that because you think i'm lying no i want to know if i was with you or not and it wasn't paying attention because i need to work on that and because you're he what he was saying the way it goes down was she says you didn't know that you could also say because i want to know why i didn't know that yeah You could also say, because I want to know why I didn't know that. Yeah, there you go. Bring it back on you. Yeah, do it.

If you make it about you, it's always okay. If you make it about her, you're going to get a divorce. She's going to divorce you. Be careful. Yeah, because that's, for me, that is maddening. And I would just get in a fight about it.

I guess I can relate to that. Not that exactly, that exact kind of thing doesn't bother me. But if I'll say something about about like some fact of the world that i don't think the person i'm talking to knows and they're like but you didn't know that i'm like no motherfucker neither did you well i would do that now i know it and you don't so why are you acting like it's the other way around right right right right right right right this is not opposite day no you can't fool me we don't gaslight here it's never a day it's always the same day or whatever yeah i mean gave up at the end yeah that was a good one good great

great uh good question great great great question that's that that actually gets me to my core that's maddening though yeah you're upset about about that. Why would you pretend you know something if you don't know something? I mean, I know why. You know what's really... Hear me out. And I'm not playing devil's advocate. I really believe this.

I think sometimes people do that and they don't realize they've done it until they said it already. Yeah, I agree. And then, so I guess further advice would be, that might be what's going on. Did you realize you said that? So be careful because you might, again,

you're playing with fire, you might be treading into territory where even she doesn't know what she said. Yeah, that would be amazing if you said, did you realize what you just said? And did you mean it? Did you mean what you just said? So yeah, it could be just literally a way sometimes people communicate

in ways they use phrases yeah sometimes you just say shit it's not even what they mean it's hard to communicate with people so like yeah keep that in mind as well alright next hey what's up Matt and? Big fan of the show.

I'm just going to try to make it quick for you guys. I moved to Nashville about three months ago with my girlfriend, and it turned out that my buddy from college was moving to town around the same time. Oh, no. So we were really excited about that. I play music down in Nashville every weekend, and I was playing a gig one night and my girlfriend and my buddy, they both came out to see me play.

I have to play for four hours straight, so I can't really hang out. Yeah. So, you know, after they watched me play for a bit, they went and bar hopped. And the next day, my girlfriend brings up to me that my buddy had told her some stuff that I had said to my buddy in private. Basically, my friend was talking about how there's a lot of pretty girls in Nashville, and I essentially agreed with him. But, you know, I followed it up by saying, like, you know, I would never do anything.

But, you know, I do see them. This. So he had, like, drunkenly, like, talked to her about that, I guess. And so, obviously, she's upset and she feels like her trust is being tested. And my initial reaction, I'm pissed at my buddy. Why would you fucking say that? I don't really trust him anymore. Obviously, I got to be careful about what I say.

But this is just causing damage that didn't need to happen. Yep. Wanted to hear you guys' thoughts on it. Hope to hear from you. Have a great day. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. This is really striking.

If I'm with Kristen's friend and Kristen says something, and Kristen's friend says, hey, Kristen said there's a lot of hot guys where we live and how she would never do anything, but also she's fucking like, wow, man. Sometimes it puts her to the test. I swear to God, I look at that friend and I say, fuck you.

Yeah, right. Totally, yeah. Why are you causing a problem? Yeah. What the fuck are you doing? Couldn't agree more. Yep. Dude, that's what your woman should be doing. But if she doesn't, which most people don't,

they go, what the heck? Well, let's not get it fucking twisted. Oh, yeah, no, no, no. The friend is the fucking villain. A hundred percent. It's not going to twist it. Okay, yeah. The friend is just saying that because,

oh, dude, guys are fucked up when it comes to chicks like that, man. What a fucking dumb fuck. I wonder if he confronted him yet. Is he asking what does he do? Or how does he deal with it? Kinda, yeah. I don't even know if he asked. I got blind with rage.

Yeah. So I don't even know what the end of it was. I think it was like, what would you do? Generally. Because, yeah, he didn't ask a specific thing about how do i do make a song about it you're in nashville dude yeah yeah but dude my best friend honestly i think there's hot girls you're an adult i mean i'm playing it for four hours and you went bar hopping and you told her you got so drunk and you told her and she didn't say what the fuck fuck you but it's not her fault let's not get it twisted it's your fault this fucking friend of yours from college deserves to have no more

friends yeah so be friendless start that trend where you help him have less friends friendless be the first one on his way to friendlessness. Okay? He deserves no friends. Why do you people do that? Well, you know why guys do it. Generally. I don't know if this is why he did it, but the guy's trying to get in there.

That's even more fucked up. It is more fucked up. But you have to assume. Oh, you're trying to get in there? Oh, nice. You're trying to get in there. Well, friendless. Let's give him the benefit of the doubt. Hey, I'm trying to get in there.

Now you got to be friendless. Let's give him the benefit of the doubt trying to get in there now you gotta be friendless let's give him the benefit of the doubt he thinks that it's not that big of a deal that he said that okay that is giving fucking stupid but then he's stupid yeah because why even like risk that that's not the right word but you know what i mean like shut the fuck up talk about something else yeah why do that why rock the boat that's fucked up sit down you're rocking sit down sit down sit down you're rocking the boat sit down you're rocking sit down sit down you're rocking the boat sit down you're rocking the boat it's from hms pinto 4 well i knew that yeah and i did the uh harmony part nice that's not the okay melody great harmony oh great

um yeah it goes sit down you're rocking sit down sit down sit down you're rocking the boat Okay. Melody. Great. It's harmony. Oh, great. Yeah, that's- It goes, sit down, you're rocking, sit down, sit down, sit down, you're rocking the boat. Sit down, you're rocking the- Mr. Kelsey. The boat. That's what it does. Mr. Kelsey. Sit down, you're rocking the boat.

That's the harmony part. You know what's weird about that? Is I- Oh, shit. He died of cancer. Okay. I know it's sad. Mom.

The, what? I was just thinking about HMS Pinafore. What? That production of it. What? Because of Halal. Halal Latif. Yeah, Halal Latif.

His foot fell in a bucket, right? Cried laughing. Cried laughing. He fell because he didn't get black. You needed to have black shoes, but they were like, what if you don't have the money to get black shoes? Sure. He was like, put black socks over it.

Put black socks over his white shoes. Oh, that's such a bad idea. Fell, cried laughing. Cause it was, the stage is slippery. Cause it's a theater stage. Oh, he's wearing a sock. Yeah, exactly. He's wearing socks.

That's what I'm saying, yeah. Doubly bad, yeah. Absolutely funny. Would be funny if he fell anyway, but the reason why he fell, added to it, cried, couldn't help it, laughed. Everyone else was singing. I was not doing anything but laughing.

Oh, you were laughing on stage. Oh, I was crying laughing on stage. Everyone else was singing i was not doing anything but laughing oh you were laughing on stage oh i was crying laughing on stage everyone else was like oh and i was like that like crying dude it was so funny halal was nice huh halal is nice halal's still my friend and i don't mean he died no no no but i didn't know you still talked to him no he's the best he's the best i remember him being a sweetheart yeah oh he's the best he's the best yeah sit down you're rocking sit down sit down you're rocking the boat sit down you're rocking No, he's the best. He's the best. I remember him being a sweetheart, yeah. Oh, he's the best. He's the best. Yeah. Sit down, you're rocking. Sit down, sit down, you're rocking the boat.

Sit down, you're rocking the boat. That was my part. So anyway. I think we're done with you doing that. Yeah? I think, yeah, you're done doing that. You think so? Both parts? I'm pretty sure.

Melody and harmony? Yeah, all of it, yeah. Okay. Melody and harmony, two strippers. All right. Log into the stage. Melody, melody, stage, harmony. Should we do...

Do you know what the best stripper song is for real? I do. What is it? The one I was doing. Well, I'm blanking on another song. The Nine Inch Nails, Closer. I wanna fuck you like an animal. So bad, the way you're doing it. I wanna... Wow, that animal so bad the way you're doing it i wanna wow that hurts so bad

yeah i wanna feel you from the inside just oh a smoker yeah uh that's a good really top five for sure yeah that that that one plays well not anymore maybe who the hell knows what they play now it's possible now i would walk into a strip club and be like what is any of yeah what are any of these songs yeah exactly unless it's like you know they still have the classics but but years and years and years ago uh i remember i was at a strip club and they played closer three different times in like 30 minutes or something. Like get, I love this song, but do a different one?

Mm-hmm. All the same customers? It probably sucks when you're a stripper and then they come on and somebody uses the song. You're like, great, now I can't do the fucking song. You think it's like, yeah.

Yeah, but I got some shit up my sleeve for that if that were to happen. I got some songs that nobody would use that I know are really sexy that I would fucking swing around my cock.

Okay, man. You know? I'm just saying it was Thunder Down Under. Not stripping. Obviously, I wouldn't be in a female strip club with females.

I would be in a dude one and I would be swinging my cock around and I know what songs I would be using. Cock swingers? The songs? No, the name of the company.

Yeah, whatever the place would be called, cock swingers, but I would pick probably. Does anyone know, besides Chippendales, Thunder Down Under, any famous or popular male stripper things? Because there's a bunch of, obviously,

strip clubs that have famous names, but what are the male ones? Is that it? Chippendales, Thunder Down Under? All I know is Chippendales, Thunder Down Under. Do you know Butlers in the Buff? No, is that really one? Are they old and fat

like butlers or actual like young? No, butlers in the buff are private dancers that with like two or three of them go to female or male parties

and like they dress as sexy butlers and like serve people at the party as like sexy butlers. Like they're sexy butlers. Like they're being butlers, but in basically naked. Butlers in the buff.

How funny is that? Would you like an hors d'oeuvre? Basically. Oh, that's my penis. Yeah, basically. Dude, this is the song I would pick. Just dick swinging around. You know what I mean?

Just like this. I think I know what you mean. Holding it like this. That's terrible. Like that. Just like this. I think I know what you mean. Holding it like this. That's terrible. Like that, just like this. So uncomfortable. The worst show. Dude, just fucking straight up. You know how dope that would be?

They already used the fucking song by Trent Reznor. This sucks, dude. What the hell are we going to do? Oh, fuck, that sucks, dude. Oh, D'Lea, it's you. Oh, great. You know, give me the hit. That come out. Chain's going crazy. Like, Chain me the hit. That come out.

Chain's going crazy. Like, chain's going crazy. Okay. Yeah. I could see it. You know what I'm saying? Oh, they already used the Trentonite Resonant. Great.

What the fuck? Oh, we used it three times. Great. He used it too? That sucks. Vengeance used it as well? Vengeance. Ah, shit, dude.

D'Lea, you're up. Well, you know what I want. I got it gonna hurt your neck next week gonna be talking about how your neck hurts like i don't know why my neck's messed up we should play that clip just straight up dick swinging around not good no i but well terrible terrible show but my own shit though what else you just said just that that's the one nobody knows about that one in 20 seconds and we're just like can he do another thing nobody knows about that one everyone

knows about that one in some portishead songs but you get vengeance vengeance already took it what happened vengeance took it all right i'll go vengeance you know what i want hurting his neck the lip like a lip just bouncing everywhere like a propeller dude i go so hard with the propeller that i notice i'm backing up and i'm not even using my feet you take off you got bruises on your head the front row women are just like the old dolby sound wow dude look at the butlers in the buff. Oh, dude. The first guy in the upper left. Oh, my God.

The first guy in the upper left. Cincy. So many of them are Cincy. With the butt. The butt is my favorite one. That woman being held is so scared they're going to drop her. Wow, they're all so Cincy. Gee whiz.

Yeah, they're like a thing. It's like a very well-known. I actually had a guy it'll be on an episode eventually a guy called him he was a butler in the buff you mean for uh yeah record yeah he had a story about this horrible night going totally totally haywire because of a new guy he had to break in that was like totally terrible and fucked everything up do you think you're so seductive by Tony Yayo? I think, well, yeah, I think so, yeah.

I think he probably did, yeah. Butler's in the buff, dude. They're all like nice and shit using like Steve Winwood songs and then all of a sudden a new guy comes in. Holding wine, spilling it. Pigs in a blanket all over the place. He said the guy brought his own beer and hit it and tried to drink it the whole time that's so funny dude the new guy too you know just the guy was like what the fuck are you doing

he's like what dude what it's all good you get to turn a yayo song on and you brought coke you kept singing off the bathroom with your Coke. Really? Yes, dude. So funny. You'll have to tell me when that one comes out. I want to watch it. Yeah, for sure. Anyway, watch Private Record on Matt's thing. It's his new podcast and it's great.

First episode's out. Second episode's out. And also, you can come see me in Vancouver. You can do that song, dude. You can come see me in Kelowna, BC. And I got a bunch of ones coming up Houston, Corpus Christi Shreveport

Norfolk and some other spots just go to chrislea.com Private Record first episode is out second episode is coming out this week subscribe on YouTube socials at The Private Record, everywhere.

You may be on social media. Yes! One-on-one session with me, mattdalia.com. One-on-one, one-on-one, mattdalia.com. Get advice.

And of course, we don't really plug the merch enough, but the merch is fucking sick. It is fire, as they say. We don't do it. It is fire. We don't plug it enough.

People do buy it. Of course. People buy it. Of course they do. It's do it we don't do it plug it enough people do buy it they of course people buy it of course they do it's great lifelinemerch.com maybe we're gonna get the big bong buzzer

we don't know we should do some new merch soon actually it'll be cool yeah we should alright thank you everybody I love you all Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?