Lifeline - 97. Trim Your Hershey Bars

Episode Date: February 18, 2024

✨ LIFELINE LUXURY is available at patreon.com/lifelineluxury. Extra episodes every month, no advice, all for $5. 🤳 Want to submit to Lifeline? Go here: forms.gle/EYbqjvyy1A9r728Y9 ☎️ You can also call the hotline at 213-973-8095 🎧 Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: apple.co/3NG2G2G 🔊 Subscribe on Spotify: spoti.fi/3NPUwoT 🔗 All our links: linktr.ee/watchlifeline 💚 Lifeline is the first podcast about you, hosted by Matt D'Elia & Chris D'Elia. Today we discuss a potentially scummy way to get a raise, trying to figure out if someone got the ick, what to do if you know someone who ruins stories, and if you should hold your grandma accountable for not texting (no). 📆 Book 20 or 40 min one-on-one sessions with Matt at mattdelia.com. More LIFELINE: 📸 Instagram: instagram.com/watchlifeline 💃 Tiktok: tiktok.com/@watchlifeline Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Let's go seize the night. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamex. Benefits vary by car and other conditions apply. Wow. We started. We started. We started. Should have stretched.

Should have stretched before we started. A stretch happens when it happens. Putting my hood on. Putting my hood on. You don't know when a stretch is going to happen. You just start. Dude, how about when you stretch? Don't plan on stretching.

The pleasure it brings. Robot. The utter pleasure it brings. It does, yeah. You know what? Actually, what i was thinking about um really brings a lot of pleasure and it it brings a lot me a lot of pleasure now way more than it used to but i wonder if it always made you feel pleasure going peepee

going peepee it makes me feel so good sometimes if you actually think about it while you're going and you're like oh oh, this is awesome. Going pee-pee has – it's not like that common, but there have been times I've gone pee-pee that are just like that feels too good. If you know what I'm saying. It's in the first few minutes, so I'm not going to get into it, but it feels a little too good. What is that?

Maybe you're just climaxing. Dude, I have no idea. I think it has something to do with the pros. Okay. Well, that's medical. The pros piece. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But anyway, I don't know what, but usually I'm just like, oh man, as I get older, it feels better and better. And I'm just like, this is great. I think it's the pros piece. Because as you get older, there's a collapse of the

business in that area for men. So now what? Well, you're going to have to pee more and more throughout the night. Yeah, I know that. We talked about recently as you get older, that's going to be a whole thing. But yeah. But you know what? It's episode 97, isn't it?

Oh, yeah. It's episode 97. That's not on. And it's technically, it's technically,'s sunday february 18th right right now right now as we hear it right now as you hear this as you hear this it's it's february 18th yeah right now it's valentine's day when we record it i love you too matt i love you too and i love all of you out there i would love love you all even more. Those who are already signed up for our Patreon at Lifeline Luxury, patreon.com slash lifeline luxury.

I love you all extra. And all of you who are not signed up, I will love you extra if you go become a patron over on Patreon. You should. Patreon.com slash lifeline luxury. It's so good. The last one we did, it's probably my favorite one ever. This show gets better. This show gets better.

That show gets better. I would say this, last episode of this, regular version was the best. And also, well, one of the best. People were really liking the last episode.

Dude, I got so many messages saying that the last episode of this show was the best. They loved it. Who knows? Well, hey,

maybe we're just hitting our stride, you know? Yeah, I mean, you know what? And our stride's going to be for a long time. It could be. It could be. Who knows? Well, hey, maybe we're just hitting our stride, you know? Yeah, you know what? And our stride's going to be for a long time. It could be. But anyway, you could go sign up for Lifeline Luxury. Do it, do it, do it.

Also, The Private Record's out. Four episodes are now out. The fourth one is a special Valentine's Day episode. It is wild. The craziest romantic story I've ever heard. Just the biggest liar ever, ever, ever. It's so good. It's up right now.

Go check it out, The Private Record, and subscribe over at The Private Record channel on YouTube. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Yeah. You interviewed a liar?

Or the person was lied to? No, dude, he got so- Yeah, swindled and shit. Lied to. He calls it the ultimate catfish, but guess what? That's the wrong thing to say. It's not a catfish.

He met her face to face. She fed him the biggest lies- Well say it's not a catfish he met her face to face she fed him the biggest lies that she was pregnant that she had brain surgery it was like oh wow and he believed it all wow gosh some people they'll believe anything i had someone lie about that once pregnancy yeah yeah i've never had someone lie about that uh but who knows maybe i maybe maybe people have been telling me lies my whole life and i don't even know maybe Maybe everybody's a really good liar. Yeah, that's true. Now I'm paranoid, now I'm paranoid. Everybody's been lying my whole life.

You're not my brother. The last two nights, this is weird. I've had, do you remember your dreams? I mean, sometimes. And what percentage would you say are nightmares oh uh low right low pretty low right okay yeah yeah same i remember i'm more likely to remember a nightmare i had two dreams two nights in a row one dream tonight the same dream i'm trying to say i had the same not it wasn't the same dream

i had okay this is hard to explain for two nights in a row yeah i had a dream martin luther king double in it though okay for two nights in a row i had a dream so the first draft of his speech yeah but it wasn't the same dream but it wasn't the same dream i mean i know that why are you even specifying making it more confusing you're right i was as the same dream i was like the sequel to your previous dreams recurring dreams okay sure okay yeah go ahead they were both about vince vaughn why i don't know i never had a dream about vince vaughn before and they were love vince they were nice dreams and they were good dreams okay and i don't really remember them but i

remember thinking like oh this is cool like he likes me that's a good dream yeah that counts as a good dream and my friend said that he was talking to him once like two years ago and he was like he's like i was talking to vince vaughn about you and he thinks you're funny that's cool but you kind of i know i'm a little i met him maybe two or three times yeah bragging well that's cool, man. I am bragging. It's awesome. You are funny.

Well, no, thanks. So, of course, he thinks you're funny. Whatever. I don't- Now, I feel actually a little bit bashful. I didn't mean to bring it up. Okay. Well, anyway, you know what I should bring up, too?

You want a one-on-one with me? Okay. Go to mattaleon.com. You want the Lifeline merch? Go to lifelinemerch.com. Sorry, I thought- You want to submit a question to this show? Go to watchlifeline.com or submit the link below.

Micromachines, man. Yeah. God, I think about the micromachines man yeah um i think about the micromachines guy way too much yeah it's too much yeah it's too much anytime somebody talks fast i think micromachines guy yeah it's too much and i'm just like you know what i mean the story ended before that part it's nice out i'm having a good time robot robot just got programmed yesterday what about this apple vision pro dude you can get it i zuckerberg says meta is better wait what zuckerberg says the meta glasses whatever they call it is better aren't they both by facebook oh no one's my one's apple duh duh duh duh okay so the apple

mega pro special goggles not what it's called but yes that thing 3500 oh yeah so it's expensive they don't buy it yeah they don't buy that because it's the first one of its kind probably so that's the thing probably sucks yeah it's probably cool for 12 minutes i don't under yeah i don't understand you got to get it off yeah i i feel like it would definitely cause like migraines and stuff headaches yeah no headaches whatever and accidents you know people will be pissing into shit peeing oh oh got it you know peeing in your peeing no i don't know maybe um they should i have so many ideas for great apps though for it everybody thinks that yeah no no but i won't i won't pursue them oh okay who you mean great apps for that specifically only the goggles i don't even know that that's something you you have apps just for the i guess of course what am i talking about yeah yeah uh you could do a game where you you're peeing

and when you go to the potty it feels really good you can you can target people you can you can put up you could be like i don't like that guy put it put a picture of him on there ah okay and you can pee on the person's face if you don't like robert downey jr expand that into like a fire extinguisher a pie you could do that yeah yeah yeah but that's a little tougher now we're getting into you know now we're getting into a little bit more of a development situation right i mean you still have to develop the pee yeah but no no you pee you when you're peeing you see a face oh so you actually have to be peeing when yeah i go to the bathroom you go oh i'm so excited i get to pee on robert downey jr's face if you don't like Robert Downey Jr.

Oh, hey, that's cool. Yeah, okay. There's also another one. You could shoot zombies or shoot vampires that are around trying to get your friends if you're hanging out with your friends. I don't think you're the first person who's thought of that one. Well, the peeing one, you might want to patent that one, but I'm sure somebody or at least thousands of people are already on okay zombie one whatever um you could also have one where you change the weather

these are just ones i'm thinking of now well you know let's not do that it's pretty soon they're gonna start getting really bad it doesn't feel like the weather change because you can't but you can see like a storm coming you go oh no a storm's coming for an i have two ideas for regular apps not the goggles okay one is it changes the weather physically in the real world. But that doesn't work. And then you're cold and then you open the app. You say, I want it warmer. And then you get really a lot warmer.

You stop shivering. Talking about a lot of development. And the other one is it's a money app. And all you do is it prints cash. Yeah, those aren't. I don't know if that's. That would maybe ruin society, huh? It would be such a good app.

The weather would be changing so much you know people would be yeah it would be bad for the economy ultimately well the weather would be changing so much and people's finances would be changing so much

yeah everyone would die in a week I'm a disruptor I'm a disruptor that's what I'm a disruptor I'm a disruptor the most

the most mega geniuses are always disruptors Steve Jobs Frank Thomas Martin Luther King Jobs. Frank Thomas. Martin Luther King Jr. Frank Thomas. The Big Train. The Big Hurt.

The Big Hurt. I always mess it up. Also Randy Johnson. The Big Train. The Big Unit. The Big Unit. Okay. Now we're doing two baseball players.

Yeah. All right. We should get into the submissions. If you want more banter, sit in it, mate. If you want more banter, go over to Lifeline Luxury. Banter, sit in it. Anyway. All right. Yeah. Let's geteline luxury bans are sick in it anyway all right yeah it's getting submissions i'm gonna do it yeah so close

hey matt thank you guys are the shitskies thanks man i just want to call him real fast um is he with a parrot so i have this job and i love it a lot and uh i wanted a raise so what i did was applied for this other job that was way more money. It turns out I got that job. I went to my job, told them I got it, and they offered me a counteroffice for more money. Now I feel really bad because I think that's a scummy way to get a raise. Maybe it's not. I'm not sure. I just want to ask could you guys do you guys

think that's a really scummy way to get a raise uh well if so let me know or have you ever done anything like that uh once again you guys are the shitski this is levi calling in thanks have a good one to get shitski in so bad you? I don't think, is that scummy? That's like what agents do. I just have one thing to get out of the way. Next time you send a video, if you send another video, get out of the airplane engine that you were in when you took that video.

It was in an iron lung. Take a video in a different place. I, um... With a parrot. Get out of the airplane engine that you were in with a parrot. You're in an iron lung in a daycare. I don't... You're in an iron lung in a daycare. You're in an iron lung in a rainforest in a daycare.

I don't know. Is that scummy? Dude, when he said that, I thought that's extremely cool. Know your worth. And if someone else doesn't know your worth, show them your worth in another way. And dude, that is a great way to go. Maybe I'm way off. I'm proud of this guy i i yeah i wouldn't think that that's scummy at all maybe am i bad are we bad for that no dude no i don't he's the

shit because you also here's the other thing you didn't even go in to be like let me try to get a raise at my job and get a job from another job and see if i can you know i mean like you didn't even do it like sound like it yeah maybe he's asking because he knows deep down that is what it was. Deep down he was duplicitous like that. But even if that's true, that's fine. If you think you're worth more than you're being paid and you love your job, it's fine to ask for a raise. And if they don't give it to you, it's fine to look elsewhere for a job. Yeah. And then if you get one and they're going to pay you more, it's absolutely fine to say to your current boss or whatever, higher ups, Hey, this other place offered me more money, but I want to stay here. Can you more it's absolutely fine to say yeah to your current boss or whatever higher ups yeah

hey this other place offered me more money but i want to stay here can you match it and if they can it's all the shit skis man yeah it is the shit skis kind of so everything's all good you didn't do anything wrong you did everything right yeah i think you did wrong was the way you took that video in an airplane engine with a parakeet yeah yeah yeah yeah i don't think uh that's i yeah no you got nothing to worry about you did good yeah congratulations you got a raise you got a raise you get to stay at the job really really like it's not like you took the boss's wife hostage and is like give me a raise before that would be bad for her life ends if you do before her life ends uh that would be really bad but you did good okay we're proud of you man yeah

good job dude keep on being the shitsk okay we're proud of you man yeah good job dude keep on being the shitskis we're the shitskis he said i know but i'm saying he is too okay well it seems like you're just saying because he said i did i am so that's not really but i think he's the shit and i'm i'm i'm i'm taking on his term to refer to him okay okay now stop calling me out for it let's go no no no okay we'll do another one hello forgot how to say hi hello chris big fan big fan of chris for many years and now big fan of your podcast i love it it's like the only one i listen to awesome cute thank you so i have a question i've been, I'm an overthinker. I overthink everything.

Yeah. And it's bothering me to a point where, like, I sometimes hate my brain. Yeah. Can relate. I can't stop overthinking. And so I had this night out with this girl that I kind of like, you know. We saw each other a couple times. We kissed a little bit. That's it. Nothing happened. Nothing a couple times we kissed a little bit that's it

nothing happened nothing else and we had a night out and i don't know why i drank a lot and i was super drunk i usually don't drink that much but i don't know why maybe i was nervous because of the social gathering people i didn't know whatever and so now i'm overthinking if maybe she got the ick because you know i got so drunk but i was funny drunk i was cute drunk okay well that's what i think oh you're overthinking um yeah well i think that's what's going right i don't know should i should i just give up and um you know what? She probably got the ache or whatever. She didn't tell me anything about it. Like she didn't say anything.

I actually suggested yesterday that we should see each other at night. And she said that she had plans, which is fine. But that made me overthink more. So I know who I am. I know who I am as a person. I know my value. I know who I am. I know who I am as a person. I know my value. But I can't stop overthinking the little things that I do, man.

And it's driving me crazy. What do I do? Okay. I mean, I can relate to that for sure. First of all, that sucks. I know what that's like. And I'm sorry. First of all, that sucks. I know what that's like, and I'm sorry. But for me, in situations with other people, like the one you're describing with that girl that you like and kind of kissed but are worried you gave her the ick, as you put it, the chances, if you already are someone who overthinks and you know that,

the chances of someone else thinking along the same lines as you about you are so slim. It's helpful sometimes to think of it as a numbers game. Like that person is not thinking about you and the way you were behaving and the minuscule micro things you were doing that added up and sort of like that's not what this girl's thinking she might be thinking things that you don't want her to think but there's no controlling that anyway but like i guarantee you she's not

thinking the things that you're thinking about yourself that's just that's you being way too interior and overthinking the things that you as a unique individual on this earth obsess over and that's not what she's doing or anyone else is going to be doing for that matter yeah i don't think it's probably fine you know and if you think that look the overthinking thing is horrible man i mean i don't do that with stuff like that but i definitely do that and i have intrusive thoughts and i take medication for it uh but, you know... Cousin grammar. You know, sometimes we're thinking about tossed salad and scrambled eggs. But I don't know, man.

That's a tough one. What I would try to do is get my mind off of it by doing something else. That always helps with me. off of it by doing something else that's always helps with me so either activity or like physical activity or talk to someone else that could happen you know also i mean i i'm needless to say i'm not a medical professional but if it's that bad and it's to the point where it's debilitating where you start to hate yourself because you're overthinking so much, it could definitely be worth seeing a medical professional about it because there is medication for such things. Exactly. I do that. And if it's obsessive to the point that it's getting in the way of your life, that's exactly sort of what it's for.

Right, right, right, right. So I so i do that also you got great tattoos so i think it's more likely this girl's thinking about your tattoos and how cute you are and how sweet you are and how you put it you were funny drunk it's people want to think good things about people too so if you had both options if it was like well maybe she thinks good things or maybe she thinks bad things the chances are she's thinking good things yeah because people want to thinks good things or maybe she thinks bad things. The chances are she's thinking good things. Yeah. Because people want to think good things. Yeah. Especially about people they just met. Yeah, and I have my Prozac. So it's all good and you're going to be fine and should be okay.

Also- And I'm not buying Prozac. Just as a last thing. Yeah. Your mind is like that at its core for a good reason. It's good to be sort of aware of the way that you are. It's good to have this- Yeah, that way that you are. It's good to have this governor on your behavior. So don't think of it as a purely antagonistic thing. Like you at war with your own

mind. It obviously gets to that, but at its root, it's not really that. It's like a runaway train at a certain point. But keep in mind that this kind of brain activity is actually there in our minds anxiety for instance to help us it is a part of evolution and we have evolved with it obviously in this day and age a lot of us have runaway anxiety but like again at its core this is a good thing try to keep it your friend you are not my friend oh ruined it you are ruined it immediately was good ruined it immediately chris what is that song ahaka jason momoa does that reggie and the full effect you know yes get it all up thank you okay i don't care i don't it. Everybody go listen to Reggie and the Full Effect or Havision. How about this?

When I went like this, I hit the microphone, pulled back, and there was a piece of hair on there. A magician. The worst magician. Starting out. Dude. Why should we put a hair on my microphone? And...

Can I ask you a question? I don't want this to be gross. This is not gross. I genuinely want to know. Sounds like it's gross. It's not, though. It's really not if you just think about it Okay

Trimming your pubic hair Oh god Is it gross Is it gross to talk about Yeah man It's just hair I know but You know what it is for me

The word The word Alright so let's call it Something else Hershey bars Trimming your Hershey bars Okay That sounds way worse

Trimming your Hershey bars That sounds gross Okay To me that sounds gross Pubic hair You know what I really hate What Manicuring Okay Landscape That sounds way worse. Trigger Hershey bars. That sounds gross. Okay. To me, that sounds gross. Pubic hair. You know what I really hate? What?

Manicuring. Okay. Landscape. Landscaping. Manscaping. Oh, I hate it, dude. Figure out what you hate first before you talk. No, yeah, it's true. It's a good idea.

That's good advice. So listen, I do it. Do you? No. I mean, do it. You do do it. I don't want to. But you do it. I've done it, yeah. I mean, do it. You do do it. I don't want to. But you do it.

I've done it, yeah. Yeah, I've done it. I've done it. So you don't want to, but you do it. I've done it. You're an idiot. You're an idiot. I've done it, okay?

Just say you do it, or if you do it. You don't have to be like cagey about it. I'm not. I think it's, I'm being more accurate. I think it's more accurate to say I have done it. All right. I do it or if you do it you don't have to be like cagey about it i'm not i think it's i'm being more accurate i think it's more accurate to say i have done all right i do it okay um and i think you got to do it who are you talking to but it gets long you just thought of it yeah no because i did last night the way your mind works you know what do you mean we're talking about this woman in her situation she's so nice she's so sweet she's a fan of yours specifically and you're just thinking about like i trim my pubes you know

i thought of it i can take it down the lane sure why i thought sure sure sure we'll get a window into your mind she has tattoos on her neck i have tattoos on my neck i thought wow we kind of actually have the same areas of tattoos on our neck we do she has the neck one over here okay and then i have the one coming up this way and that's what she had okay her one coming up this way looks a little bit like a very very hairy uh chest hair peeking out and i thought that about mine once and i was like huh it's interesting because when i look at her it doesn't look like that so it definitely doesn't look like that on mine. And I thought hair.

And then I thought the hair that comes out of the neck like that is a lot like the hair that comes out of the hair from the belt line. And then I thought, oh, I trimmed my pubis last night. Remember when we saw LL Cool J live when we were little kids and you were like, his penis is out. And I kept being like no it's not no it's not but you meant his pubic no pubic hair was out

I knew it wasn't his penis that was out I think you kept saying his penis no you're misremembering probably because I didn't know what pubic hair was yeah you were so young okay well you're

being antagonistic and the mom said that's actually disgusting you don't do that she got like real serious about it and we were like what the fuck I mean it is pretty disgusting

no but she was like yeah that's not even good that's not cool it's not sexy it's not funny No, but she was like, yeah, that's not even good. That's not cool. It's not sexy. It's not funny. It's gross. She didn't like it.

Maybe that's why you feel weird now about pubic hair. Therapist. And I don't. Therapist. You know? This is like an episode of Frasier, guys. So, and so, and so anyway, I did it, but I did it in bed. You've trimmed your Hershey bars in bed?

Check this out, though. That's the worst idea ever, dude. What is wrong with you? Tell me a better way to do it. Over something so it disposes properly. Go ahead. Like what? Come on, let's walk this through. Something with a drain. A toilet. And it gets clogged.

What are you? Sasquatch? Nope. And then you see pubic hairs all over the toilet. Not if you are not a slob you a Sasquatch? No. And then you see pubic hairs all over the toilet. Not if you are not a slob or a Sasquatch. All right. Your hair is like a 9.3. Your head hair. Not my Hershey bars?

No, I don't know. I'm going to tell you something about this, though, about the pubic hair thing. All right. Keep going. Life hack. If we must. Okay. Life hack.

In bed? You do it in bed? Yeah. Freak. Okay. God, you're weird. Okay. Go ahead. Okay. And tell you do it in bed yeah freak okay god you're weird okay go ahead okay and tell me why it's weird why don't you tell me why why don't we walk through this i don't need to it's already weird tell me why though go ahead fired off because you're gonna make a mess oh we're gonna make a mess okay all right let's walk down this road go ahead go ahead that's it oh yeah you're gonna make a mess where's the best in your bed yeah yeah yeah oh interesting well i have a lint roller all right and let me tell you one thing about lint rollers they're so good they work yeah yeah they do don't they they work really well don't they the right ones

you let the yeah you sure you want to go down this road i i yeah all right i'm already down the road it's all right the hair's everywhere on the bed yeah you take a lint roller and you wipe it up and it's gone. And how does Kristen feel about this? Does she know? She don't like it. No shit. But she doesn't really care that much. And I understand that it's a good thing to do.

Because you're always doing weird shit like this. So she's like too much. She can't be like, that is the problem. How do you get under it though? I lift my legs up, I get under it. Anyway, let's go to the next one. Actually, no, you made an interesting point about the chest hair, about her and her overthinking.

It made me think about, you thought this about yourself. It looks like chest hair. Then you saw her tattoo popping out and you thought, oh wait, it doesn't look like it. Well, I thought, oh, I wonder if it looks like chest hair because mine looked like chest hair. And I go, actually, hers looks more like chest hair because mine's two mountains. But hers is like wiry things coming up. But then it looks less like chest hair because she's a woman. It also looks nothing like chest hair on either one of you.

And I'm here to tell you that. And that's my point. It's good. I like her. But my point is that we think things about ourselves that other people don't think yeah because we're looking at ourselves thinking about ourselves way way way more than anyone else yeah and so this is a very roundabout way of getting at the advice for you right is that what you're thinking and overthinking is not what other people and there we have it thank you very

much elvis and there we have it so before we even get into the next one rochester new york kitchener ontario i'm going to be in shreveport louisiana houston texas corpus christi durham north carolina norfolk virginia grand rapids fort wayne saginaw victoria bc augusta georgia north charleston south carolina and chattanooga tennessee and that's going to be at chrisley.com. Go get those tickets now. They are on sale. Chat, chat, chat, Anuga. That is. Do you think so?

Dude, I've known you for so long. That's the worst thing you've ever done. That's the worst thing you've ever done in your life. No, no, no. Well, in front of me. Check it out one more time. Chat, chat, chat, Anuga. I don't like that at all, dude.

All right. Well, sleep on it. No. Sleep on it. You call me tomorrow. Did you sleep on anything? What'd you think um so anyway dude uh i i'm going to be in norfolk virginia and i kept saying norfolk and i was like is i think that's how you pronounce it but i don't know and then i heard somebody say norfolk the other day on tv and i was like dude i was right the whole time you're in the money isn't that a good story yeah i like stories like that want to

go to the next one? Yeah, let's do the next one. Okay. And stop that story as soon as possible. Matt and Chris, hey. Hey. So it's my birthday today. Happy birthday.

I am, here's, okay. What do I do? Cute, cute. I've gotten texts from like everybody. Yeah. My mom, my dad, my brother, my best friend my cousin my aunt okay um but i haven't gotten a text from like my grandma do i screenshot all the texts that i've gotten and send it to her what do i do what do i say do i call her do i text her be like hey it's my birthday no what do i do okay dude thanks guys let me tell you something dude it's my birthday

a family member doesn't text me i think good i don't have to respond to it i agree but here's the thing if i i understand what this woman is referring to because on certain birthdays when everyone in a certain group or family whatever texts me happy birthday and one person doesn't it does make that one person look pretty bad i'll be honest and i've had that experience where i'm like damn that one person just really missed it huh really yeah i'm not like upset no no damn that that makes them look bad i think oh i don't care at all i don't even think about it but in this case it's a grandma as you said you said, grandma's. Yeah, she's old. A grandma with a smartphone? Come on.

Even now. I mean, it's getting to the time where, you know, I mean, mom is a grandma. She's good with it. She's good with it. But yeah, honestly, she would never forget her birthday. She would never not do that. But yeah, but I, you know. I think your grandma's losing it.

I think it's time to put her in a home. I don't think it's that. No, I think your grandma's losing it. It's time to put her in a home. Cut ties. Make sure everything's in order. Her will, her possessions, grandma's losing it it's time to put her in a home cut ties make sure everything's in order her will her possessions all that and it's time to pack it up cut ties time time to start drifting away you don't want to be near it you know i don't yeah i don't it's not a big deal at all at all actually i think no i agree yeah it's i mean if it bothers

you okay maybe say something but like it's it doesn't even seem like it bothers her make a joke just like dude grandma didn't make the screenshot joke make the thing you said send her yeah if she gets a ton of screenshots of everyone else saying happy birthday and make like a little powerpoint presentation actually like a little movie dude i who cares if you i forget stuff you know people what i think about birthdays is that after 16 we don't celebrate them. We don't care about them. I'm doing a big bash for my 44. If somebody wants to celebrate my birthday for me, great, whatever.

That's cool. If somebody doesn't, great. That's also cool. I'm doing a big bash. But I don't care what happens on my birthday. I'm doing the biggest bash, bro. And if somebody says, what do you want for your birthday?

I say to be left alone by you gold bars dude you have planning a bash i'm having the biggest bash dude 44 are you oh my god there's no way that's true there's simply no i don't ever want to do anything for my birthday yeah i know and you know what's the worst part about the birthday is if you have a significant other and they want to do something and they want to do something for you you don't want to do something and then you say you know what i don't want to do something and then you say you know what I don't want to do something and then they get disappointed yeah

congratulations you're making it worse because it's like it's about them now I feel bad for my birthday oh god damn it what if you did that what if you did that when Kristen does it she gets it she doesn't

do it she's like you want to do something like i really don't want to do something please don't she goes oh really all right all right that's great that's that's great yeah that's how everybody should be but there are other people that yeah because because kristen's love language is you know creating i mean my god she there was a valentine Valentine's Day party for Calvin, and she's like, I'll decorate the classroom. A Valentine's Day party? Oh, at a school? Yeah. Okay.

Well, you should have said that part, because that made no sense until I said it. I figured you'd figure it out, because she wouldn't decorate the classroom for any other reason than there was a party at the school in the classroom. All right. The coolest guy in the world.

That's what I do now. When I roll over for a point, I go like this. All right. Coolest guy in the world. So that's what I do now. When I, when I, when I roll over for a point, I go like this. All right. Coolest guy in the world. A guy that smells like weed so much. And you're going to understand why. Yeah. And so,

all right. Yeah. So, yeah. So she does that and she did that and it's great. It's like Calvin's birthday is coming up. She cut out a whole face and whole board with transformers. Does he love that stuff? Oh yeah. He loves it. That's great. You know what's funny? with transformers and does he love that stuff oh yeah

he loves it that's you know what's funny because i didn't like care about that stuff when i was a kid did you what do you mean what stuff like calvin's like like kristen is like do you want to go to do this for your birthday at this place and he's like yes i want to go there like i wasn't like that i don't remember anything about my childhood was yeah neither do i i don't remember anything what the fuck happened to us i remember something i think we were too blunted i think we were too blunted we were on weed yeah we were little kids on on weed i remember like going to like long beach island and shit what did i like the arcade i loved going to the arcade i love going to the baseball card shop oh yeah that too yeah but not when but when i was

four though when i was four, though? When I was four. Okay, yeah, that age, I have no memory of anything. Calvin's like- Except Mrs. Antoine and the dinosaurs thing. And you loved candy, and Calvin loves candy. I loved candy. Well, I refuse to eat anything besides certain candies, which is terrible. Calvin said, I don't like that, right?

I don't like food. I only want chocolate. Yeah, see? All right. Well, that's really, really bad, but what are you going to do, you know? We spaced it out. Next one. He does get very excited about chocolate. Yeah. See? All right. Well, that's really, really bad. But what are you going to do, you know? We spaced it out. Next one. He does get very excited about chocolate.

Yeah. Hello, Matt and Chris. My name is Zane. I'm from Australia. I love you guys' podcast. I've listened and watched and have done for quite a while. Hell yeah. So I'm a father to a seven-year-old.

Cool. And I'm no stranger to parents and interactions and things like that. It's fine. I enjoy it um but there's this one father in particular this one dad my son is friends with his son and every time i see him he always finds an opportunity to correct my son in a way that he feels like he's doing me a solid like he's doing me a favour he'll

pull my son up on not using his manners when my son's speaking to me which has nothing to do with him but then he'll look at me in a way of like I got you mate my son will be like I want to go to the park after school he'll be like you better use your manners when you're talking to your dad like that mate and he'll look at me like and I want to go to the park after school. He'd be like, you better use your manners when you're talking to your dad like that, mate.

And he would look at me like, and I just think, shut the fuck up. Obviously, I can't say that, but it's just like, man. That's so funny. I need a fucking second parent. That's so annoying. That's made me think about my ex. Steeper. Yeah.

What do you think I should do? Do you guys have any advice? Have you experienced this before? Should I just continue to pretend like it doesn't matter? Should I be like, bro, shout you a can? Yeah, anyway, let me know. Much love from Australia. It's so funny.

Thanks, bro. That guy's so likable, dude. Yeah, he seems like he'd be our friend. That guy's so likable. Dude, you know what? Damn. Some people just got the thing damn some people just got the thing some people just got the thing and that guy has the thing you know dude some people they just start talking and you're like yeah you got yeah yeah i mean you don't get that excited about it though i do that's what i it's actually i've been realizing it since

i started doing the private record it's like some people that you get in front of them they start telling their story you're like yes Okay. Stop being over it though. But you're screaming yes. I love that guy. I'm allowed to love that guy. Yeah. You're allowed to love it. I just like, I'm allowed to be like, all right, chill a little bit.

But I'm allowed to be exuberant in my love for that guy. That guy is great. All right. All right. I think, you know, we barely know him. We don't know him. Walking back. Walking back.

Seems like a piece of shit. But he, that's funny. All right, see, so here's the deal. Forgot the deal. It's all, it all sucks. But the worst part is at the end, like. Yeah, well, that's the. That is the.

That's the cherry on top of the pie. It makes it funny, too. Like, because. To relate. I'm thinking of Calvin. Not in the moment. Well, Calvin, I guess. It's funny to relate to. Yes,. It makes it funny, too. To relate. I'm thinking of Calvin or Billy. Calvin, I guess. It's funny to relate to. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

So Calvin's four is like, hey, you got to use your manners when you talk to your dad. Depending on how they say it, it's different. Obviously, if they're just like ribbing him, who cares? Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah but like uh but if if it's anything less than that and if you do it more than once or twice yeah if you do it a lot then it's like it's like dude yeah don't be parenting or policing my kid i think you i honestly think you should say something. This guy should say something. And I think it should be along the same lines as the thing the guy does after the fact when he's like, I got your back.

That's funny. Be like, hey, like, why do you, like you do that a lot. Like, I'm just like, what's going on? Why do you do that? And you could do it with a smile. It doesn't have to be that confrontational. You can recognize that it's kind of humorous,

like you're saying, but you want him to stop and I would want him to stop too. I would want him to stop first and foremost because I don't want him to be telling my kid what to do. I don't want my kid to start learning that he has to listen to every dickhead adult in the room. I think that's a bad lesson that we learned.

Listen to the adults all the time. It's like, well, no. Some adults are fucking terrible. And you shouldn't listen to all of them. You shouldn't listen to the right ones. Yeah, there's a difference between listen to everyone and respect your elders. Exactly. Totally, right?

Yeah. But yeah, dude. Like I would not want some other dude to correct my child, especially in front of me. If my kid's being a dick out in the world and I'm not there, of course I want an adult to say something. But, like, dude, what are you? He's right in front of you. Yeah, that's weird. If I'm letting it slide, you let it slide.

Dude, I know parents that, you know, they're great people. you know they're great people and and they just parent their kid way different than i would you know yeah it's more of a oh she's screaming and being crazy or he's screaming and being crazy like hands off yeah okay yeah and i i'm just like and they're great people like they're they're very i love they're fun to be around like it's not like and um yeah and and i'm just like wow i would never let calvin or billy get away with that you got to respect the way other people parent and i don't say anything exactly because it's you know well no that's that should be your point it's kind of my point it's like you don't you don't tell someone else's kid how to behave because because it is a reflection on how they're parented and a negative reflection on their parent yeah so while he's like i got your back it's also like no you're you're the opposite

of my back yeah you're making sure i look like inferior to you like you're everyone's dad i don't even know if he's realizing that he's doing that that's what he should say he should turn to the guy and say are you are you my dad yeah are you are you my dad will you pick me up from school can you loan me a few thousand dollars where's my allowance yeah yeah yeah i'll get it back to you dad that would be good actually what if you can pull that off do that actually uh but yeah that's annoying totally understand why it's annoying to you fuck that guy you should say something without being too confrontational because at the end of the day it's not like he's not like fucking with you you know he probably thinks he's actually doing a good thing he's not though so it's good to subtly let him know directly but subtly let them know stop i would just be like

bro you you what is going on why do you do this right it's very funny but also exactly you're messing up you're like you know let me program my kid yeah program you know you know he's my robot just say that what would the guy do all right all right want to do another one yeah what's up guys so i go to pet smart the other day to get a bag of dog food and as i'm going to the checkout realize that they have four checkout spots but only one's open which just drives me crazy anyways the guy who's second line was like hey man like you go ahead of me you only have one item i have like five i was like man that's really nice thanks so i'm checking out and I realized why it takes so long. It's because they ask you like seven different questions. Like what's your phone

number? Do you have rewards? Do you want to use them? Do you want to save a kitten? Like all these questions before you can pay. So while I'm doing that, they open another register and this lady who is just like still kind of browsing like beelines for the new register and gets in front of everyone who's been waiting at the first oh wow that's terrible so i like stopped the cashier and i'm like hey you should take care of this guy first because he's been waiting he's been here for like five minutes anyways the cashier disagrees with me and was like well she was here first checks her out and you know i was just baffled anyways what do you guys think who's right oh well there's no question on earth uh who's right and that would be you and also the guy

who let you go is also right it's always better i anytime i'm in line and i have a lot of stuff and there's somebody right behind me with like one or two things i'm always like you go of course um so you're right he's right the woman and the cashier are obviously wrong. But I've dealt with people like that woman before. Dude, I remember one time, you and I, we were young, dude. We were at KFC. Okay. And some old guy came in after us.

He was in line behind us. Okay. And he just walked in front of us and said something. I don't remember exactly what he said, but it was something like, respect your elders or I'm a senior citizen. He just went right ahead of us. What? Both of us were so shocked.

We didn't even say anything. Oh, I don't remember that. Wow. The one in La Cunada? Yeah. But you weren't even driving yet. We were young. Yeah, young.

Yeah, yeah. Well, if we were at KFC, I wasn't driving. I'll tell you that much. Yeah. Also, I remember getting in the car and telling mom. And mom was like, what a asshole. Oh, wait. I kind of remember that part. Yeah. It, yeah, I remember getting in the car and telling mom. And mom was like, what a asshole. Oh, wait. I kind of remember that part.

Yeah. It happened. Okay. I swear to God. I'm not saying I don't believe you. No, I know. But also, why does this guy look like he had a nosebleed, except when he looked at the camera, it didn't look like he had a nosebleed, but then when he looked away, it looked like

he had a nosebleed. I didn't notice that. But what I want to know is, here's what I think. I think the cashier just didn't give a shit and she's just like yeah but she's here now fuck it what i think is the cashier didn't see and if the cashier didn't see the cashier has every reason to just be like well this person's in front of me yeah so i'm not going to tell the person in front of me to go yeah yeah but that is the culprit is obviously that asshole woman yeah if she didn't know well he said she made a beeline, so maybe she was-

Yeah, she was like, I'm picturing her seeing a thing- Oh, there's my shot. Realizing, yeah. That's a piece of shit. Yeah, it's a piece of shit. Moo. I've had that happen. I've talked about this on my podcast, but I was in line at a coffee bean at Tea Leaf,

and an old lady, is in Beverly Hills, and an old lady just came in, walked, stood right in front of me in line. It's always an old person. And I said, oh, ma'am, I'm sorry, I'm in line. And she goes like this, no, you're not. Whoa. I have my brain. She doesn't.

Yeah, right. No, you're not. That was crazy. Just straight up voodoo, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you're not. A Jedi. A Jedi.

A Jedi. Walk away. Yeah, no, I hate that. That kind of person, again, presuming she did do that on purpose or at least was aware of the fact that she was well that's awful yeah those kinds of people ruin experiences across the board for all kinds of good people and i i hate those people damn dude hate hate hate hate hate you really think my hair's a 9.4 wow i. I've been harping on it. No, not harping on it. I've been thinking about it, though.

Okay, well. Harping would be if I keep talking about it. Okay. Okay, man. It's the same, man. Yeah, it's like a... Let me see. Look forward.

Yeah, it's like a 9.1 or something. Fuck. I mean, you said 9.4, dude. I said 9.3 is what I said. Yeah, it's like a 9.1. So it went down? is what I said. Yeah, it's like a 9.1. So it went down. But it's still a 9.1. It's good.

It's like 8.7. Okay, fine. It's like 8.4. It's really good. 8.1. 7.9 at the lowest. Yeah, that guy's right. All right, next one.

My question is, I've been indulging in my ex-fiance. Oh, indulging. Coming over. Oh, she's ice cream. I don't go to her place, but she comes over here and we keep seeing each other, but it's never going to work. It's never going to work out. So my question is, is. So many fabrics.

I have needs. Why does he have a rubber? You both know that. I have needs. You have needs. I get it man but should i keep indulging in that ice cream as long as it's not hostile and it hasn't gonna be but eventually it'll get there hey of course and i'm wondering if if i should just completely cut that

off or i should use that for my needs until i get to the next thing. And I know I sound like a piece of shit. Yeah, you do because that's a person you're talking about. Fucking they, guys. Not Ben and Jerry's. I have needs. You know? Okay, but there's a thing. Sauce.

Fucking sauce. Saw a casino before this, you know? Like saw that just like. There's a thing that you can do. It's called masturbation. Yeah. And you can actually empty your cranking balls. You can empty your cranking balls.

Absolutely disgusting. And sort of satisfy your needs that way. Instead of, as you would put it, indulging in your ex-fiance. Indulging, dude. That's amazing. Like it's fucking chocolate sauce. Yeah, incredible. I love how he's like, it's on good...

Eh, let me indulge. Dude. Uh-oh, about to empty out. Just the worst guy. Well, that is... You said... I know, but acting out made it really extra gross.

What if you were having sex with somebody and you said to them, dude, I always ask my wife this. I say, what if you were having sex with a guy for the first time and he said this? And I do it all the time. I know that.

And it's so funny to me, dude. So what's the thing this time? Well, what if a guy was having sex? I mean, it works for women, you know, but I like to ask women, like my wife, but what if a guy was having sex with you for the and he said oh i'm about to empty out and went like dude what would it so like i asked her she was like oh that would be horrible yes it would probably make any any woman in her right mind want to throw up but then i would be like but

then i always say like but what if everything else was so good it wouldn't matter that would that's that's a ruiner dude that is a deal breaker that's like as bad as like just bad breath. Uh-oh, I'm about to empty out. Uh-oh, you know, like it all snuck up out of nowhere. But no, dude, stop, as you put it, indulging. Like, it doesn't matter if like, oh, it's on good terms now. Not going to be for very long because that's not a thing that lasts on good terms for very long.

She's already your ex-fiance. So we know that there was some kind of bad terms at some point you should have stopped indulging already so stop indulging now stop emptying out dude stop emptying empty on your own time okay there's a thing called masturbation use it it's so much put it to use masturbation isn't as good though. Of course it's not. But like he's playing with fire. Yeah, you are playing with fire. Masturbation is a great thing to avoid playing with fire.

But Matt, he's got needs. Just don't. Get less fabrics. Shoot your videos from an angle at which we know what's going on. Are you upside down? Are you in outer space? Are you floating? What was going on?

It was very, very, very weird. I thought the same thing. You started talking about it. I was like, I'm glad he's bringing it up because I was going to bring it up because that's how many things were going on with that video. It looked like he was maybe in a tent, maybe on a toilet, maybe actually in outer space. He looked like he had an inflatable bed that he was on. He looked like he was maybe laying down,

but maybe sitting up. It was very strange. He had a sheet on the wall. Maybe he he had just indulged honestly you never oh he could have indulged hi guys just emptied out i just indulged in my ex i indulged in my ex-fiancee that's so weird stop it just the advice is all jokes aside stop you you made this video you know you should stop you wouldn't ask someone if you just stop if you didn't know deep down you should definitely stop what if stop stop stop Scott stop okay what if

okay we're having sex of Creed Scott stop of Creed what if you were having sex and here we go you're a chick and a guy was having sex with you and he said right as he's about to have an orgasm oh I'm a fucking idiot. I mean, I would think...

What would you think the girl would think? I would think... Oh. Well, am I a girl? Well, yeah, but... I would think that, like, he's saying something shitty about me. Oh, really?

Yeah. Interesting. I mean, obviously. Anybody would. I wouldn't. What would you think? I think our guy's got, like, a weird kink or something. mean, obviously. Anybody would. I wouldn't. What would you think? I think I always got like a weird kink or something. Like he wants to be shamed.

Oh. You know? That's such a roundabout way of doing it, though. You'd think somebody would be a little more funny. I have a small cock. Well, then I wouldn't think that would reflect that on me. No, then I would think like, what the fuck? Yeah.

I would think like he's embarrassed about himself. So say you're having sex with a woman. Okay. And you have an orgasm And she says Aw I'm a fucking idiot Oh then I would think It reflects badly on me

Yeah I would be like Well what That's so What happened Oh no I'd be like what happened Dude to be so confused

While you're having an orgasm Yeah It's hilarious Because it's so overwhelming And then you're just like Wait a minute I'd be so worried I'd be actually worried

I'd be like What the I'd be actually worried. I'd be like, what the fuck happened? What's going on? Yeah, we ruin everything. When I'm done feeling good, we have to have a talk. That's stupid. Yeah, I wouldn't say those words,

but yeah. In your head, you'd be thinking that. Maybe. Any other sex hypotheticals? No, I mean, so many. They're basically all the same. Yeah, they're all the same.

Every single one you've ever asked is all the same. You know? All of them are just like i'd be like what the fuck is that person doing all of them i'd probably laugh hard uh while orgasming laughing hard there's an all around great time orgasming and laughing all right vote for me uh okay cool let's do another one what'd you say for you i said vote for me like that's that's your slogan campaign slogan all right next one hey matt and chris big fan i'm gonna get right into it so my girlfriend and i we've been together for three and a half years we live together and everything uh she'll probably propose soon but on second thought maybe not because she fucking infuriates me so what she'll do sometimes is

when i'll so i'll be telling a story and she will interject early in my story with a gist of the ending of the story and it fucks it all up oh yeah for example a few months ago my dog put his paws up on the stove turned the burner on with a cutting board on fire almost burnt the house down but if i were to run into one of you and say hey chris dude you would not believe what my dog did the other day right there at that point if she was standing with me she would say oh my god she almost burnt the house down oh right and so now my my story's fucking ruined right like i don't even your story's if i were to continue it would it's just my the story's deflated you know like i i'm

telling the story how i want to tell it and i want to tell you all this stuff and then at the end give you the shocking bit and watch your reaction to that information and you know i that's that's the gratification yeah we get it that is we get it we get it that's really funny uh my wife does the exact opposite of that which is also annoying what is the opposite of that she'll bring up a story and then be like you tell it oh like she's teeing you up without you i don't do you tell it yeah and then she'll do it wrong and then i gotta do it anyway she was right you should have done it then she's she's she knew what she was doing she's

hijacking my mind really well i mean so overboard you're not steeper She's hijacking my mind, really. Well, I mean, so overboard. You're not steeper. She's hijacking my mind into making me tell a story I don't want to tell, dude. I'm not ready for it. It's weird. I've experienced what this guy who called in is talking about. But I can't think of the people who've done it. Oh, I go. If that happens to me, I go, oh, you ruined it.

Yeah. But you can't really do that with your soon-to-be wife you know what i mean i don't because you're gonna start fights if you do that in public in front of its social settings you're asking it's a great whoopsie it's a great whoops to do that yeah but even that's kind of asking for a fight oh it's definitely asking for a fight i think if you're asking what to do i think talk to her about it at a moment that she isn't doing it. I guess. When you're alone. I guess.

Don't be like, hey, why are you doing it? What are you doing? But when you're alone, be like, hey, I noticed you do this thing. Can we talk about that? That's hilarious. What's going on when you do that? Are you just so excited that you want to get it out? And give her like what you do in that kind of situation

is give possible reasons that reflect well on her. So that even if that's not the truth, she thinks you think well of her. Yeah. Like, is it because you're dumber than you were because you used to be smart? That's a bad, that would be a bad example of what to do. Such a shitty compliment. Dumber than you used to be. But yeah, just come up with something

like like you know what i said definitely not what he said but like you want to suggest something that it might be even if you don't think it's the truth that reflects well of her right okay that's cool yeah i like that and then just see what she says the idea obviously the point you are making is that you want her to not do it right she'll understand that you don't have to be a dick about it she'll get the point uh but yeah everybody dude everybody if you've been together for three and a half years doesn't matter who you are doesn't matter what what you are your partner you're annoyed with them for at least one major reason so everybody's not annoyed with me i, dude. Imagine if you actually- Be hard pressed to find something.

Imagine if you actually believed that. She might say that, you know, I'm messy or like, you know, I'm loud and my tone is sometimes, or like, you know. Those are some things she would say, yeah. But those are not the first things she'd say. Those would be like the 30th and 31st things she'd say. Maybe. Maybe I think about myself too much.

Yeah. Will we want to do one more? How we living? Sure. Yeah, let's do it. Solo. Hey, what's up, Chris? What's up, Matt?

Love the pod. Over his eyes. Quick question, advice that I'm seeking right now is I live in an apartment complex um and there's like a there's multiple floors you know it's kind of like uh typical how apartments are right now buildings floors all that kind of um but there's like a trash room for each floor and a shoot that goes down to like the main dumpster yeah um so the problem that we're having right now our department that we're in is that people are

too lazy to throw their trash down the chute and just leave it scattered throughout the trash room and i get it the trash room but bro how lazy are you no that's not great in the chute keep it clean you want to the place you live in to look yeah that's crazy bro so yeah just any advice you guys have on that yes like there's times when i'm like do i leave a note yes like that's fucking disgusting if i leave a cache everywhere that's so weird there was an address on the box i want to like kind of take it and put it in front of the apartment door but i don't know if that's too much and just got to deal with it that's how people are i would do that thanks for any advice guys thank you yeah it's where you live so nothing is too much except this actually either

becoming physical with someone or just like outright berating someone in front of their face it's good you look like a big dude it's good to be aware of your size and these kinds of interactions because i think sometimes as a guy yeah you're just pissed and you're like well i know what the real deal is i'm just gonna let somebody know it it you and you don't think i'm probably scary when i get mad trust me bro you're scary when you get mad so try not to do these things when you get mad but you would not be wrong to write a note you would not be wrong to confront people directly you would not be wrong to leave notes directly on people's doors if you know exactly you did it do one time when i used to live in an apartment building i lived

on the top floor and there was like a little roof area of everyone on the top floor had like a little piece of the roof of their own. And one night I went up there and there was just dog shit all over my part of the roof. And it was, I already knew how that happened. Little dogs could sneak through the bar. It was like, you know?

Okay. And, but whoever did it didn't care enough to clean it up. Oh. I was so mad wow that i printed like literally like a hundred of the same note i put it in every elevator in the building i put several on really every floor of the entire building and this was at like 2 a.m you did it my girlfriend at the time was like matt you're insane but i was so mad i couldn't why were you so mad i couldn't get why were you so mad i don't know i was 20 something it was so yeah but never something like an 80 year old would be

mad at i know because i used to have such an anger problem right now i don't know you know uh but i was just so mad it seems so disrespectful i had to clean it up i had to clean up a bunch of dog shit why did you have to clean it up because it's's my property. No one else was going to do it. Yeah, that's pretty fucking fucked up. So, yeah. I mean, that was obviously overboard what I did. But I never found out who did it. So, like.

It was me. And the notes were ripped down by the time warning came around. Why? It sucked. Because of some building policy. You're not allowed to post without everyone's permission ahead of time. Oh. Well, yeah.

You're not allowed to shit on the fucking exactly that's what i said anyway yeah i totally get it that's what you're describing though is the laziest shit yeah that's that that's why it's so weird how could you be that lazy disgusting that's disgusting how could you be that lazy i've never seen that happen i mean i i I've lived in places where, you know, the same thing. Where I had a shoot. And I've never witnessed that. You're going to take the time to take the trash out of your place, walk it all the way to the trash room, but not lift it the three feet.

You need to lift it to get it in the trash chute. The only thing I would consider, and I'm assuming you already have considered this, but this is possible because this used to happen in my old building as well sometimes the chute would get jammed up and all of the chute openings would then lock oh really so even if you went to the chute oh you'd go to open it it would be locked then you're standing there with a bag of trash you don't want to bring it back into your apartment yeah and then people would sometimes leave it at the base there which is also it's still disgusting though but yeah it is but you'd think that

if that happened the guy would know like he probably that's what I that's why I'm saying he probably has already considered that if that is a possibility

but if not that is worth consideration that's really weird that's crazy that you would do that that's disgusting people would do that people are

people will never cease to amaze you you know what I mean in a bad way I guess so yeah you know stop what because you know what I mean yeah I know what's going on you guys you got delivery at the door yeah okay well it's a good thing to take care of you know you know guessed it and i

did i know each other i looked like uh what's the ring app yeah it looked like yeah so nosy so nosy yeah so you're spying on me so dude i gotta get the ring app is the ring app good i gotta get it people always at my door you know and i want to know who it is but then they go away too fast really yeah people just come to your door dude i caught my neighbor at my door the other day why oh well i don't know what do you mean you caught him so you don't need the ring app no but i don't know what she was doing i saw her walk up my walkway. Somebody probably delivered something there by mistake. But there wasn't anything there. Because she took it back. See, then it would be handy to have the ring.

Right, right, right. Or you just call me and ask me. Yeah. So what do you think happened? Make a video for Lifeline and I'll answer it. Yeah. Yeah, she's a really... Well, I don't want to...

She's my neighbor. I don't want to say anything. Yeah, yeah, she's cool. Well, I wouldn't go that far, but yeah. She's actually... Honestly, my neighbor is the weirdest person I've ever encountered in my entire life. Oh, oh wow she's the biggest spaz in the world she's the kind of person that sees someone and thinks that because someone is looking she has to be

behaving in a certain way like she walks her dogs all the time and if i don't if i don't if she doesn't see me if she doesn't see me, she's totally quiet. Okay. And if she sees me, she suddenly starts talking to her dogs like crazy. Oh, wow. Come on. Come on. No, we're not going that way.

We're not going that way. I know, but she's 60. You know what I'm saying? Dude, when you're 60, you can't be insecure anymore. I know. All right? De Niro. De Niro, dude.

Could be a little bit. Yeah. All right. Well, okay well okay then look thanks for listening if you want to go sign up for lifeline luxury that's the best we love it we love you if you do that it helps us keep doing this podcast and then also uh my next dates are uh rochester and kitchener and corpus christi don't forget hou Houston and Saginaw and Shreveport, Louisiana. And Norfolk. Norfolk, yeah. Yeah, you can't forget that. Listen to The Private Record.

Subscribe to The Private Record YouTube channel. And of course, find us on socials at Instagram and TikTok at The Private Record. The episodes are on and popping and on and popping. And that's that. Checking to see who's at my door. And this guy's always looking at who's at his door. And obviously, you get the merch, lifelinemerch.com. If you want to submit to this show, go to watchlifeline.com

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You want to talk about on and popping? It's really on and popping. Yeah, it's really on and popping yeah it is really popping up uh thank you all we love you all see you soon