Lifeline - 98. Rest In Pieces

Episode Date: February 25, 2024

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Hello. Hello. Ha ha ha. Welcome to Lifeline, everybody. Did you get new things here, too? For this? No? Oh. What up, guys?

How you doing? It's Lifeline. Welcome back to all of you listeners, watchers. We love you. We hope you love us. Do you love us? Drop a comment if you do. Did you want new windscreens for the

no no okay it's called a windscreen uh if you like uh lifeline go on over to lifeline luxury and uh check us out there patreon.com slash lifeline luxury that's our patreon you get extra episodes but it's lifeline luxury uh it's different it's just my brother and i kind of bsing a lot instead of taking videos. No submissions, just us. You know what I mean? It's a real family affair. It's very fun.

It goes off and on and popping. So go do that. And Private Record, Matt's new podcast. Go subscribe to that. Stop what you're doing and subscribe to that at the Private Record on YouTube, obviously, wherever you get your podcasts. Like, comment, share with your friends if you like it.

Thank you very much. And same with this podcast. So if you have a submission, go to WatchLifeline.com or leave us a message on the hotline, which is in the description. And if you want one-on-one advice sessions with Matt over here, MattDeLea.com. And the merch is at Lifelinemerch.com. We appreciate you. So what's up guys? So I, I got to tell you last time I went to get my haircut, which was about a month ago, I said, you don't have to do it as short as you usually do. I'll just come back more. You're looking at at least a 9.0 right now what i'm looking at it i mean yeah that's what your hair is right now really when it's too short it's not good so you made a good decision and well when it's too that but the whole thing is what's the

balance the shortness of the hair is when you get it cut should be just like a centimeter shorter than where you want it. Because hair always looks better a little too long than a little too short. But how do you know? You don't. That's why you gotta have someone who you trust who cuts your hair. Because there's no way to say I don't know. So I'm almost like maybe I need a

haircut soon. It's like I always want my hair to look almost good. Right. Well that's how you have to think I guess. Because there's like I always want my hair to look almost good. Right. Well, that's how you have to think, I guess. Because there's like, how many days of it is,

of looking good? How many days does a haircut look good? That's a good question. And how many days after the haircut does it start to look good? I mean, needless to say, I don't know. I never get my haircut. I'm sure all of you

probably could have guessed that. I mean, I guess I do sometimes, but it's been a minute. I mean, like, Anthony, you got a haircut recently, right? His hair looks good. I noticed it today. No. Chris. I mean, I guess I do sometimes, but it's been a minute. I mean, like, Anthony, you got a haircut recently, right? His hair looks good. I noticed it today. No.

Okay. It's been like two months. Okay. Got called out. Okay. Well, yeah, I just don't know because right now I feel like my hair is like kind of like the exact length I want it to be. Yeah, it's good.

But it's a little, it's like in a month it won't be. Well, yeah, because hair grows. Yeah. So, yeah, hair grows, right. Does hair grow fast or not fast? I don't know don't know my hair goes really fast really yeah especially and i think this is true for everybody after you cut it like when it's cut it's like yeah i feel good i got trimmed i got this i got that i'm gonna grow if you listen real close you can hear your hair saying that oh wow that's well you don't have to listen you heard that yeah the crack you don't

have to listen real close because your ears are right there exactly well if your hair is long enough right so you like you like the way i crack it you heard it you like it you know i love hearing dirk digler you know was it sexy i love i love hearing cracks like people this is interesting people get grossed out by cracks like the way i get grossed out by nails on a chalkboard or dry thumbs on newspaper which drives me absolutely that i can't do yeah, yeah. Great. Oh, you do? Shopping bag. The construction paper is the thing. Oh, construction paper. Not so much newspaper, but yes, newspaper.

But construction paper, I don't know what the hell. I just can't. I can't deal with- Oh, the paper bags. Don't like that. What's happening? Oh, paper bags. Doing that on it.

I lost your mind. Doing that on it. Yeah. Well, I got a present for you. So you don't- Oh. Oh. I'm not going to say what the brand is until they sponsor us. Okay. The paper bag. It's like doing that on it. I lost your mind. Doing that on it. Yeah. Well, I got a present for you. So you don't- Oh. Oh. I'm not going to say what the brand is until they sponsor us.

Okay. So that'll happen soon. Okay. Because we plug them so hard. But take that one. This one? That's the one that hasn't been touched. Okay.

We both have it, but that's bigger. Okay. Oh, you're saying I have a big nose? No. I take- Notice the big, big one's missing. I need the big, big one. Oh.

It's in my pocket right now. Okay. In fact, I'll put it in right Okay. So I just put it in. I'll give you a little tutorial. This way. I think I know how to do it. Yeah, it's pretty straightforward. And it's to breathe.

And it helps to breathe. Look how they give you tools to get it in with. Oh, you don't need that? Oh, wow. Yeah. Oh, that opened my right nostril right up. Right? Oh my God, I'm gonna sleep like a baby.

Yeah, dude. Let me see what it looks like. Merry Christmas. But I look... Of course. Oh, wow. I look horrible. Yeah, you don't wear it out in public. That sucks.

I wish it was discreet. Let me see how I look. Wow, that's nice. I'm going to sleep with it in tonight. Doesn't it feel so good? Does it make your nose bigger in the long run, though? I mean, what do you mean? That's like a parent being like, don't make that face.

It'll stick like that forever. Yeah. All right, I'm going to keep this. Yeah, keep it. It's for you. Thank you. Wow. I'm going to do it tonight when I go to sleep.

I feel so much better. So you don't crack your neck and you think it's gross, but how about this? I don't know. I don't think, I'm saying people, I was surprised to learn

because I crack my knuckles, my ankles. My ankles, dude. Really? Every step I take if I'm not wearing shoes. What? That's crazy.

It's really crazy. I don't do, I have, I don't, I crack my, I try to crack my neck. I don't do it. I don't know.

I can't do it all the time, but I tell you this, there was a, either a doctor, somebody in the medical profession that, you know how they said, they used to say like,

it's bad for arthritis. They would say it gives you arthritis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is not true. So that guy, the doctor who basically dedicated his life to proving that it doesn't cause arthritis he did it all year all you know okay it was like

his mission to yeah and then he and then he kind of proved in the medical field that it doesn't cause arthritis and then they gave him an award because they give out these awards in the medical profession community every year for like, it's a good thing that they did, but a joke. So that's the perfect thing for it. They're like, oh, good job. You figured this out.

It's silly, but you did it. Oh, like not that important thing. Yeah, like it wouldn't be like cure cancer wouldn't get it. Interesting. Yeah, and it's interesting. And that's all I know about that, honestly. I don't know what the award's called. I don't know what the award's called.

I thought there was going to be more. I don't know what the award's called. I don't know who the doctor is. And I will say I'm 85% sure that that's true. I have a theory. You don't usually say stuff like that. I don't. No, I don't.

I really don't. I have a theory that everyone has at least one of this kind of person in their friend group where they just say stuff where they're like, like I have, the one I'm thinking about, my own friend, I'm not going to air him out, but I'm going to say one example

of the things he said. He said, the New Jersey Highway Patrol uniforms were modeled after the German SS uniforms from Hitler's Germany. I mean, no, they weren't, first of all. No shit. But,

all right, well. And then you would say that to him, and he'd be like, no, I swear, dude, I swear. And then before, you don't even have to do this part. And this is what I'm saying. Everyone has a friend like this. This is my theory. Every group has one person like this.

You don't even have to get to the point of them, to the phase of them Googling it. Right. Because you know it's not true yeah yeah well here's what's annoying they google it of course they can't find it oh wait hold on oh and then they're like oh wait it's not on here but like they're probably just trying to cover it up you know what no you're wrong dude yeah so here's the thing i think that uh that that those people say i've gotten to the point in my life where people say stuff

like that and i just say oh yeah i don't even i don't even i used to do no they don't and then they say yes it does and then give up now i just go oh i i just go oh like i'm talking to a five year old that's probably better because the truth is those people don't change well nobody changes well also who cares you want to change them why you want to change your mind who cares no you don't want to change their mind here's here's No, no, no. You don't want to change their mind. Here's the only reason why you would do it. And you're right, though, that it's pointless to do this. Okay.

But the idea is that they'll stop saying shit that they don't know is true and put it forward. They won't. Right. Exactly. They won't. Yeah. And also, is there even a TikTok about how the SS was made by the... Well, there's a TikTok for every conspiracy.

Well, that's what I'm saying. There is? Yeah, that's right. Okay. Because if there is, then maybe, then at least then he heard it somewhere. Yeah, he heard of it. That sounds like something he heard from TikTok. He heard it from TikTok.

Great. You got a TikTok friend. I got a TikTok. There's also a comment on Facebook post. Oh, a random person just saying it? Let's see. Look at this. Here's a fun fact.

NJSP uniforms were designed by the same man who designed the German Nazi SS. How old is this guy? Different colors and swapped out the death's head for a badge, otherwise the same uniform. Mike Vidal. Let's guess how old that guy is, the guy that commented on it. Oh. 70 what?

Yeah, 72. At least 72. Can't even click on it. It's weird. Oh. Oh. Zoom in on the face, though. Oh, he's always...

Oh, what's it called? It's Archie Bunker. The sitcom actor. That's hilarious, dude. It's a pic of Archie Bunker. Of course it is. So he's at least 70. So hold on.

That's funny. So hold on. And Archie Bunker was like a racist sitcom character. All the family. So hold on. Okay. How... Is that even possible?

The guy who designed the SS Nazi? I mean, anything's anything's possible but no but i'm saying it can't be the same guy because he's probably dead well no there were i mean look unless the nj stuff has been around but there were like a lot of like with the the development of the bomb like uh we hire no i i know a bunch of german scientists so it's all i'm saying is it's possible, sure, but it's not like... But it's not possible if the lifespan is too long. You know what I'm saying? Like the guy who...

Those uniforms were probably invented... Yeah, yeah, the New Jersey ones too. Yeah, okay, cool. Okay, cool, we figured it out. So he's probably right. Yeah, so I guess... I owe my friend an apology. So pretty much a bunch of people in New Jersey are Nazis

and that's what we learned. Yeah, the highway patrolmen, those are all Nazis. By the way, dude, say what you want about Nazis. They were very bad, but they were buttoned up. That's the thing. That's the joke, right? They were terrible, but they had style. You can't really deny it.

Is that something that people say as a joke? It's like, yeah. Oh, I never heard of that. But yeah, they cared a lot about aesthetics. They were the most terrible people in the 20th century, though. So what are you going to do? So that's that. All right.

Well, let's go to a submission. Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of submissions. I'm still standing. Nice angle, dude. I got a question about phone etiquette and specifically bringing your phone out mid-conversation

when people do it I think it actually kills more conversations than it adds to and it usually results in something like this I gotta show you this funny video oh where was it Instagram

no no Mike sent it to me when did he send that? I don't care. I'm not invested. You lost me, you know? And now you killed the convo. You stole 20 seconds of my time doing this. I'd rather you butcher the video through some poor description.

Yeah, same. So, yeah. I don't know. How do I tell people to stop doing that? I know. How do I tell people to, you know, I can tell my friends to fuck off, but I'm not, you know, I don't know how to tell like a lot of boomers do it. Yeah.

That's a big one. I got to show you this funny video. I'm like, it's probably not that funny, one. But two, we had a conversation going and now it's gone. It's not even the only thing that the thing that good submission yeah good submission but i i don't know how to stop it but this is the rule don't the only way to show somebody a video is to email it or text it to them you i gotta show you this video is so annoying yes let me just text you this video watch it when you want like it's just really annoying i know people want the shared

experience you know i don't but yes i know what you mean you don't i don't seek shared experiences like i'll go to a movie alone i don't yeah yeah yeah but that's a movie but like if you want to if somebody falls down you want to share it with somebody if you fall down yeah yeah but again i want to i want them to enjoy it it's not about me doing it with them okay what i'm saying but yeah people do want that because my son will calvin you know, William C. Young, but like Calvin will just be like,

watch this. Let's watch this video. Let's watch this. Let's watch this. And he wants me to sit down. And if I go like this, he'll go like this and make me watch. It's really cute and funny.

But, um, but that's like a very basic thing. I'm mad that you're doing that. No, no, it's hilarious. Yeah.

That's funny. No, I, I, my Calvin is four now. I don't think I've been mad at him yet. Wow. Yeah.

Good for him. Maybe frustrated, but not mad. Yeah, not yet. Wow, that's a long run for no anger. But to answer the question, how do you get people to not do that? You know what? I mean, look. You can just say, yo, just text it to me.

I'll watch it later. Yeah, but. They won't. Well, a boomer will. Yeah. It is a very boomer thing. It's a real tragedy, isn't it? That this is a reality for so many people.

I hate. I'm of two minds about this. I hate when people are like, everybody's stuck on their phone so much these days, but it just, it really, there's just no denying it. Yeah. Just true.

People are so attached to their phones. You'd think at least during a conversation, we can all agree through some, you know, social contract, whatever that like, we're not going to be doing phone stuff. Right.

Unless you get a call or a text or an email, you need to respond to it. But I'm talking about like, just being like, whatever, that we're not going to be doing phone stuff unless you get a call or a text or an email you need to respond to. But I'm talking about just being like, oh, oh, or even just looking at your phone. Just don't do it. They're just so central to our lives now. I know. They really, Apple created a product

that now we need, which sucks. It's so automatic, too. I know. People don't even think, I want to look at my phone. They just do it. I do this, too. I'm not saying-

No, I know. I know you're not saying you don't. But I didn to look at my phone. They just do it. I do this too. No, I know. No, no. I know you're not saying you don't. But I didn't have my phone for over 30 days in rehab. And how was that? I'm sure by the second day, it's okay. No, no, no. No? No, no, no, no, no.

Really? No, no. By the end of the, after the first week. You're okay? Not the first week. After the first week. You're saying after the first week, you're okay? Not the first week. After the first week. You're saying after the first week, you're okay? Then you start to be like, okay, yeah.

And then what happens when you get it back? That must be the weirdest thing in the world. It's actually, I'm going to be honest with you, it's terrifying. Yeah, it has to be. Yeah. You don't want to get it back, kind of. Right, yeah. You kind of don't want to get it back, for real.

It's so interesting how quickly our minds change. But here's the thing. You know you need it back for real. It's so interesting how quickly our minds change. But here's the thing. You know, you need it. So it's like, even if I was like, Oh, I don't want it back.

I still need to see what I missed and what's going on, what emails I need to catch up on. So then I'm hooked in again. So Apple created, I mean, that's what they say about making a product. You create a product that people need. Try my product.

Boku bucks. Try my product. Boku bucks, right? What is that? Boku bucks. Boku Bucks. Try my product. Boku Bucks, right? What is that? Boku Bucks? Is this Boku Bucks? I don't know. Oh, you just made it up?

Did I? Oh, you know what Boku is. Oh, merci beaucoup. No. Like that? Try my product. Merci beaucoup. Dude, you know what?

I think that, you know that try my product thing that I did or that we talked about? Yeah. I think that it's a... It's a curious thing. I think it's...

What would they call those things where... Not the Mandela effect? Yeah. Where you think it's one thing, but it's not? It's another thing? A lot of people think something exists or exists in a certain way and it just doesn't. I think that it's

please try my product it's not please try my product but people think he says please try my product and he just says try my product yep unless he did another commercial like that because i seem to remember please try my product and when i watched again he said try my product and then in the infomercial then i put it on the line people were like i swear to god i thought he said please try my product so it's either a Mandela Effect or... Conspiracy. Or they made a thing, they made a commercial like that

and they ditched it afterwards. From a product. The big famous Mandela Effect thing is the Sinbad Genie movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That trips me home. Kazam and Shazam. Well, that's why,

yeah, and I always think of that one because I did have that bit on Incorrigible about the Shaq movie. Oh, right, yeah, yeah. But why do so many people think there was a Sinbad movie about a

genie? I thought that too. What is going on? Sinbad would make a movie about a genie. What is that? Wait, I'm sorry. Real quick before we move on.

What, why is it called the Mandela effect? Cause people thought he died in jail. Is that right? I don't know. It's about Nelson Mandela. Yeah. Yeah.

I think it's because people like a bunch of people were like, I remember the news article about him oh wow okay yeah i remember that too you do yeah oh i don't i never saw that article but i don't read articles yeah you don't i remember i always knew he was alive our parents getting a newspaper that said nelson mandela dead that's crazy but that obviously didn't happen yeah he died in the 80s in 1980 the f- What is that, dude? A large mass of people believes that an event occurred when it did not. The term was originated in 2009 by Fiona Broome after she discovered that she, along with a number of others, believed that Nelson Mandela had died in the 1980s.

How does that happen? That's crazy. I can't start thinking about this too much. I'll start losing my mind. See, I'm the opposite. I can- No. I'm only good when I think about stuff like this.

If this is possible, then that's so weird, dude. You know why I like that? I believe, then ancient aliens, I believe. Let me try to change your mind about this. I'm gonna try to make you like thinking about this. Okay. I like thinking about stuff like this because, try my product, because it makes the world my experience of it

make more sense how wrong that's true how much people say things that are not true but that is adamantly believe it yeah like that makes it make more sense to me yeah that is true because i get so perplexed when people are saying things that are not true and they believe it so much i know you're just like but no do you ever do that? I'm trying my product. Do what? When you're like, oh, yeah. You're telling a story and you're like, wait a minute. Have I told this story nine times and I'm changing it or is it true?

For sure, yeah. That fucks me up. I don't like thinking of it. Yes, dude. It fucks me up, dude. I love thinking about it. It messes me up, dude. It gives me life.

Yes. I believe nothing. You believe nothing? Such a nihilist. Okay, let's go all right new one baby what up guys we're from palm beach love you obviously blah blah blah all right so i am 10 months sober off of well whatever it doesn't matter what no it was ivy heroin boom kanye joke anyway uh so a month into sobriety i got a job as a server at a really big sports bar in Palm Beach.

I've been in restaurants my whole life, obviously, because that's where screw-ups go. Six months in, got promoted to assistant general manager. There you go. I have a salary, bought my first car off a dealership. That wasn't some shitty Craigslist car like I've done my whole life. The problem is my crew is the most lazy, entitled, spoiled, just crew I have ever worked with in all my 20 years. Jesus Christ, I hate saying that out loud. Now, I made it a point to tell them I am not above you.

I'm here as your support. Like, I'm not one of these losers that gets this much power and thinks they're the shit. Like, calm down, dude. It's a fucking restaurant. So that's my problem i have anger issues um and to hear them complain when i've had a life full of traumas and i'm talking like the real deal not some bullshit like a guy was mean to me i'm saying like every trauma you could think of i've been through aside from being murdered oh except hey guess what i almost

was anyway uh so dealing with that sober and then these I just thought it'd be really funny to hear your suggestions on what to say to them and I promise I will use every single one of them because I don't care love you guys thank you I've been murdered um she's cool yeah she is cool and let me just say that the energy I got from her is she probably runs a great i get why she was made in a an authority position yeah given given her she looks like she really knows how to get stuff done fucking term uh when you give some not a raise but you a promotion promotion yeah yeah that's okay hey dude hey dude it's all good right try my product so So I think, yeah. So congrats to her for the,

it seems like she's really ironing out her life in the last few months. Also, she was hooked on heroin 10 months ago. She looks great. That's crazy. Doing great. This is great. Congratulations.

There's one thing I would say though. Don't do this shit, even before we get into the, what your call was about or your video was about. Dude, don't do this shit but even before we get into the what you know what your call was about or your video was about dude don't do this shit where hey i go to west palm beach is that what she said because that's where fuck-ups go she said long no she said i work at a restaurant because that's where fuck-ups okay yeah fuck-ups go dude cut that shit out i agree i i said it even when she said at least if you at least if you think At least if you're going to say it

Know in your heart it's a joke Okay I get self-deprecating humor and all that stuff But there's a part of you that does that Because I do it That means what you say Don't do that shit That is one ticket to

Relapstation It's true dude It is so true Because I want everybody to like me But it's like that's true it's true dude it is so true because ooh I want everybody to like me but it's like that's how it is

yeah you know so you have to make sure you know deep in your heart that that's a joke that's my only thing

with that video besides besides I thought you had advice no advice yeah well how do you whip people into shape

get down yeah I mean fire them if people into shape? You don't. Yeah. I mean, fire them if you can, but like, I don't know, man. I think that the thing is every adult in the world,

let's just keep it to America in America needs a job. And unfortunately they all. Yeah. Apply. I mean, they know that's what's unfortunately every adult needs a job and unfortunately they all yeah apply i mean they no that's what's unfortunately every adult needs a job and a lot of adults suck they just suck well yeah that yeah yeah they don't want to work and i get that i don't want to work either a lot of on a lot of things that i have to work on but like when you're there you got to do it and i i think maybe and i don't know because i'm not there with you when you do this but like it could be something about the way you are putting yourself on their level in an effort to not talk down to them and not seem like you're an authority figure it might actually be doing the opposite might be having the opposite effect what do you

mean because if she's like i get it i'm not above you i'm just like here to oh oh i see what you're saying if that's not especially if that's not working actually try the opposite be like look i don't know why but they gave me this position doesn't matter why now i'm in charge and now i have to tell you guys what to do. Because I tried being like, hey, I'm one of you guys. Well, I tried. The next day, you go into work like this. Yeah, yeah.

Well, I tried being your friend, and I tend to do that. And walk around like this when you're doing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just stroll. Yep, yep. Lazy little steps. Walking like that guy. that was the thing you said the guy playing the fake mandolin the actor who did the thing where he walked and played oh danny houston dude he said that was the worst acting of all time but i would argue that might be the best acting it is the best

you know what we're going to talk about this is a big deal to me okay okay we're going to talk about this on luxury okay um uh yeah i think that you need to probably really uh do that i actually think that's a great idea sometimes people won't listen unless they're like really pushed it sucks dude it really is unfortunate yeah that people a lot of people won't work hard unless their their boss is a dick to them i hate that but that's that's why i don't like any of the like all the exposés that are coming out like my boss was an awful person my boss was a dick my boss it's like dude that's a boss yeah oh you don't like to work for someone no shit yeah no oh he yelled at you oh okay did you fuck up i kept looking when the ellen stuff

came out yeah looking like what yeah I didn't read it all. Oh, Ellen's a dick? No shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The most obvious thing. No shit. Yeah. You know?

Yeah. Oh, one of the richest personalities on a daytime talk show? Dude, the most you don't say. Yeah, yeah. Ever. The most? Duh! There could ever possibly be yeah yeah i mean that's just crazy dude when when the stuff came out about steve harvey about how he like how he like said don't you know oh the thing about don't look at him or whatever the hell the thing was oh what was it again i don't even remember but dude

no yeah shit here's my Steve Harvey impression Because I know everybody loves it so much That's bad No dude When something wacky happens On Family Feud Oh that's good That's good

You're right that's good That's actually good Thank you One of the better impressions I've seen Yeah I did it before And everybody loved it And I'm just reprising my impression Thank you for reprising it

Thank you for reprising it He goes like this Yeah dude Like Uncle Vinny He said Yeah And he just repeats it Yeah Godfrey does the funniest He goes like this. Yeah, dude. Like Uncle Vinny. He said. Yeah. And he just repeats it.

Godfrey does the funniest. Godfrey, damn. Godfrey, the commercial. I forgot about him. The commercial. The comedian does the funniest Steve Harvey. Anyway. Yeah.

I got dates. I didn't do it yet. I didn't say it. But yeah, to wrap that up, you've got to play the authority card. Unfortunately, it sucks, but you've got to do it. I'm going to be in Shreveport, Rochester, Houston, Texas, Corpus Christi, Texas, Durham, North Carolina, Norfolk, Virginia, Grand Rapids, I just added. I just added a bunch of places.

Fort Wayne, Indiana, Saginaw, St. Petersburg, Florida, Charleston, West Virginia, which I didn't even know there was one, Des Moines, Iowa, Madison, Wisconsin, one of my favorite spots to play. Really? And for the first time ever, Green Bay, Wisconsin, I'm going to be in there.

So go to chrisleah.com to get tickets. Never been to Green Bay before, and I can't wait to just live it up in Packers Nation, in Cheeseville or whatever it is. Cheeseville. What is it? So dumb, you know?

Don't they do the cheese thing? Yeah, they're the cheese heads. They put is cheeseville what is it so dumb you know they don't do the cheese thing yeah they're the cheese heads they wear that they put the cheese on their is resoundingly sad you know what i mean and we have the most on the most resoundingly sad news today we have people in green bay and wisconsin still put cheese on their heads it's pretty crazy and they love it that green Green Bay, Wisconsin, has its own football franchise. It is crazy. Isn't that crazy?

It's like Buffalo, same. It's just so crazy weird to me. But isn't Buffalo way bigger than Green Bay? No. Buffalo is weird too. No, Buffalo is not big. Bigger than Green Bay though. Is it?

Green Bay is tiny, I think. Look up the population, baby. Let's see. Is Green Bay really that tiny? I had no idea. I'm pretty sure it's like this tiniest city with a major sports franchise. I don know 107 000 for what is the population

of green bay okay and buffalo's got to be way more than oh were you asking about 107 yeah let's compare it yeah not a lot it's not at all a lot oh wow wow buffalo's almost three times green bay there's nobody dude I know it's crazy and they have like that's why they have such crazy fans that's why the fans are bonkers

that's wild because they it's like their life and understandably how could it not be their life a major sports franchise plays in your tiny town

that's weird that's cool I didn't know it was so oh I can't wait to go yeah okay yeah I think I'm gonna go

when it's warm too dude get all the cheese heads in your audience. Dude, I'm going to eat so much cheese. I'm going to be so constipated when I come home. I mean, you know? Oh, babe, coming home. So wait. Why is Madison so good?

What's up? He's Ventura. Soccer style kicker. Dude, Madison is awesome because it's such a cool town, dude. And it's, you wouldn't know, you know? I've never been to Wisconsin, I don't think. Yeah. It's just great.

It's just cool. It's got a cool vibe, a cool vibe, you know? So does Boise. A lot of places have cool vibes you wouldn't know. Liking it, liking it, liking it, liking it. Okay. Liking it. I'd do this now.

I know about so many places. Johnny Cash. But isn't that crazy though? Well, yeah. You know what I love? What? Watching Dateline. I mean, changing it?

No, I'm not. Oh, okay. And when they say, in a town in Omaha, and I go, been there twice. Yeah. I love it. Yeah. You should just watch the beginnings of every episode of Dateline. I should, dude.

Been there. Love it. If one's in Green Bay, gonna be. I'll be there. Next. Saginaw should, dude. Been there. Love it. If one's in Green Bay, gonna be. I'll be there. Next. Saginaw. All right. Be there soon.

Not just Saginaw. No. I'm not flagging off. Okay. All right. Next one. Chill in. I mean.

That's a chill pose. You know? Hit play. Hot play. Rest it out. Hot play it. Play it. Oh, dude.

Play it. Play it. Hey, Anthony, play it. Play it. It's not playing. Play it. Yeah, no, play it. Play it. It's not playing. Play it. Yeah, no, no, no. Oh, it's not playing?

Oh, no shit, man. This is going to be a good one. Hi, Chris and Matt. My name is Paris, and I'm from the DC area. Great shirt. Great shirt. My question is about jokes about birth names. Paris is my nickname, but my birth name is actually Parastu, which is a traditional old

school Iranian name. Sick. And when people ask me what it means, I tell them, well, it's a type of bird, specifically a swallow. Then they'll make dumb sexual jokes like, oh, your name is Swallow. Well, at least it's not Spitz. Or, oh, your first name is Swallow. So is your middle name Spitz? You know what I mean? It's just annoying. So basically what I'm asking is how can I come up with like a clever or witty comeback or clap back at these people that make this annoying joke about my birth name i would love to hear your thoughts on that uh chris you're hilarious you have a beautiful family matt i am single so call me uh thank you guys so

much bye wow well you got a great wardrobe i love your shirt so that's a good way to place a start. Yeah, it's... Thank you. It's... I mean, I'm so mad on your... Like, by proxy right now. You don't have to do... Don't tell people. That's... I would just not... You know what? I was thinking the same thing.

How often does it happen? When they ask, here's what you do. You calmly, but in an assured manner, you just look them in the eye and say, we're not doing this. When they ask what, though? eye and say, we're not doing this. I'm sorry, we're not doing this. But when they ask what? When they ask, what do you mean what? She told you.

No, because she said, my name is Paris, but that's not my birth name. My birth name is Parisia or whatever the heck it is, right? Okay, it's not Parisia. What is it? Parisian? I would butcher it. Whatever it is.

But the point is, nobody's being like, I mean, maybe people are like, Paris, is that your real name? Maybe? Yeah. Okay,

so that's something that they're asking. Yeah, man. I mean, I don't know the exact thing they're asking. Okay, so here's my point though.

Say it's Parisia. I don't know what it is, but I'm butchering it. But like, Paris, is that your real name? Go ahead. Say,

say, say, hey, I'm Paris. Go ahead. Hey, I'm Paris. No,

no, I'll say, you say, is that your real name? Hey, I'm Paris. Oh, is that your real name?

Oh, no, it's actually Parisia. Yeah. Oh, what does Paris. No, no, I'll say, as you say, really? Hey, I'm Paris. Oh, is that your real name? Oh no, it's actually Parisia. Uh, yeah. Oh, what does that mean? Oh,

it means, uh, it's from a bird, uh, more specifically, uh, swallow. Okay.

It's too much. Is your middle name Spitz? Yeah. It's too many. Oh, I'm sorry. I was in the character. No,

it's good. It's good. You were really good. I mean, you were locked in, but you thought you were Parisia. No, I,

more so. I just didn't know who I was because you were someone else and not natalia but uh the you're getting you're getting too far into it but what do you want her to do okay that's the advice i'm paris oh is that your birth name uh no it's like some iranian it comes from an iranian thing what iranian thing it's like parisia it's a bird Iranian thing what Iranian thing it's like Parisia it's a bird anyway you gonna finish that taco

nice bulldoze the advice my brother is giving bulldoze is a problem is to bulldoze okay don't let them

get their grimy little dumb unfunny fucking mitts control the narrative control the conversation

try my product bulldoze bulldoze and bulldoze yeah is the advice that's good advice it is uh the other thing you could do is just say yes is that your birthday yes yeah right true and you can say yes at any moment what's it from prisia oh what's it mean oh swallow is your middle name spitz yes yeah you could say yes at any time i suck so much cock i can't i can't even believe it i'm i'm sure i'm not sucking cock right now just just really quick though let's focus on how crazy not funny every single one of those jokes ever well it's

just i mean yeah it's just because you gotta understand that you're not the first person to make that joke that's well here in, in most instances, it is that. It is that. But in this instance, it's something else even more foundational than that. That isn't funny under any circumstance. But then there's the argument of, you know, not everyone has a great sense of humor

and everyone thinks they're funny, so they're going to say, well, I understand. But what they should do, all those people without a great sense of humor, is stop attempting humor. It's okay to not be funny what it's not okay to be is trying to be funny but failing well actually let me rephrase that it's not okay to consistently continually try to be funny when you're never being funny yeah okay but that has to do with she doesn't know this person doesn't want to say that they with, she doesn't know this person,

doesn't want to say that. She doesn't know if they're doing that. I've done probably that. Oh, I said the thing like, oh, whoops, I'm sure everyone says that. Yeah, I've done that too. But that, again, that is a secondary thing that's going on.

Initially, the problem is that that is not funny. This thing about swallow and spit, it's never funny. That's not funny. You're talking about the swallow spit joke. Yes, yes. Got it, yeah, that's really not funny. This thing about swallow and spit is never funny. That's not funny. You're talking about the swallow spit joke. Yes, yes. Got it.

Yeah, that's really not funny. That's so not funny. Yeah, don't do that anymore. God. So if you do make the mistake of not bulldozing or not bulldozing hard enough and you do let them in that far,

just calmly and in a chill way tell them how not funny that is. Well, that's not funny. You gonna finish that taco? Yeah, exactly. Make sure there's tacos around if you that is. Well, that's not funny. You're going to finish that taco? Yeah, exactly. Make sure there's tacos around if you do that. Bring tacos around with you everywhere. All right, next one.

Hey, guys, Marv here. Pause it. That guy looks so much like Al Leiter, the pitcher. Sorry. Got poked in the butt. Dude, that guy, anybody who's a baseball fan that looks like al lighter dude okay all right from yankees yankees and mets i know guys know that up front look at him but i do have a bone to pick with you oh oh in regards to the woman who called and was talking about how she had left her car warming up in the parking lot of a hotel good

disagreement um this guy's she was feeling violated that someone had moved the car yeah while she was uh not there yeah and matt was like yeah yeah i think yeah that would kind of bug me too and chris is like no no it'd be fine you know somebody had to move it so they could jump the car blah blah hey how about not leaving your car running yeah in front of a hotel totally yeah and expecting it not to get messed with i mean sure as far as i'm concerned she's lucky the car was there at all that's a very good point actually yeah yeah i don't know that's just me and uh also there's not a mint especially especially Andy's, that I don't love. And airports are disgusting, so use the wet napstay, Andy.

This guy. This guy's got a lot to say. Thanks, guys. He's a loud listener. He's got a whole list. Yeah. I do like how opinionated he is, even though we may not agree on everything. He was also right. He's right.

Yeah, that is a good point. Let me make my thing first real quick. I remember that specific submission. I was actually confused the entire time. Why? I didn't know what she was really saying what do you remember that no i was like wait how did what was the situation again like and i didn't know she initially left her car running oh you didn't know that did not know that because i i for some reason i have it in my head that it was because it's cold out and she was warming it up which is the reason to do that sure but he's also still right though yeah i get it if a car is running videos where people get robbed somebody's not there to that owns it and it needs to be moved

and somebody moves it i wouldn't get mad i'd be like well that's what i get for leaving my car running he's right yeah okay oh you would yeah i would be like that's what he's saying she's lucky it was even there which is another thing where you live like dude i see i saw this thing about i saw this video where this guy had his car running he was keeping it warm to get it warm in his driveway and some dude just walked in took the car and he was like no no no and he jumped in and when he jumped in he tried to jump in the passenger seat and the passenger seat was open and the guy reversed and he was in between the door and he reversed into the wall and so the guy got caught in between the door and the wall and then the car zipped out and the guy got up and it was like oh i mean he might have died i don't know but it was like so messed up he got up immediately you know how you

get up immediately sometimes and then die like a minute later why did you watch that because i didn't know what was happening it was one of those things that like came up on somewhere youtube something and i just it was a short or a real or something and or somebody sent it to me and i'll go oh my don't send me that kind of stuff dude people sometimes some of you some of you listeners to this show send me stuff that's funny and it is funny but some of you also send me stuff that i would never laugh at and i never laugh at people really getting really really hurt yeah i don't want to see that and it's not funny i do this thing deserve it scale uh on congratulations where it has to make sense where you know it's one to ten but it's not a ten it has to be funny enough to be a 10 but it can't if the person got really

hurt you're overwhelmed with the oh no of it yeah and the funniness is then diminished greatly right so you have to find the perfect balance of oh he deserved this this to happen yeah if the person's being a total jackass moron asking for it dot com then okay. But nobody deserves to get their head lopped off. Nobody deserves to get their car stolen. But people will be like this is a great deserve it scale and do a submission we get them in the congratulations feed and it'll be like guy is chilling

inside his house and a crocodile comes in and eats him and you're like you didn't deserve this and they're like well don't live in Jacksonville. Right yeah yeah yeah. It's like no just just sad yeah that's not people don't understand things so um anyway uh yeah uh yeah that more often than not people send stuff that isn't funny though because most people have a bad sense of humor and further than that most people don't have the same sense of humor you do but all good um what was the guy's question though oh the car thing wasn't really

a question yeah uh yeah that's a good point that i didn't think question though? Oh, the car thing. It wasn't really a question. We already addressed it. Yeah. That's a good point that I didn't think of. I would never leave the keys in my car. Oh, I can- Ever. Dude, when I used to live in New York, I'm sure this still happens. New York.

People with nice cars. Yeah. Always men. I never saw a woman do this once, but I saw dozens of men do this. Wow. They leave- That's crazy. It's like a flex.

They just leave. Wow. They leave. That's crazy. It's like a flex. They just leave. They're like Bentley running in the middle of the street. They all think they're gangsters, you know? And they just go into a store. Yeah. Nobody's going to take this from me. That's what it was. Oh, wait a second.

That's what it was. Yeah. And one time I saw- Good. That's a deserved scale. God, this is fucked up. I don't remember. I don't remember the difference, but it was either Big P fat joe do it oh for real yeah i can't believe

like sounds like a fat joke somebody somebody steal that you deserve it but he in his head you know and it's because of the you know he's like yo this is my city people respect me here and it's like oh dude i would love to think that someone thinks that. And then they take it. 100%. And then they leave. And then they're like, well, that guy better watch out because this is my city. And he's going to get dealt with. And then nothing ever happens.

Nothing, yeah. And he just has to buy another Bentley. Imagine trying to tell your insurance company what happened. I'm fat, Joe. So you just. So you don't run the city, sir? So you just left your car running on Broadway? You said you were doing what?

You were doing the Rockaway? You were busy doing the Rockaway? You don't dance and you just pulled up your pants and then you did the what? The Rockaway? Okay. Well, it's good as gone. It's as good as gone. Yeah.

Yeah. That's pretty crazy, dude. Yeah. I don't know if I've ever done that. Maybe if you live in a suburban town. Yeah. If you're in a safe neighborhood and you know. Yeah, but that's where the crooks go.

Dude, if I was a crook. Crook, you know. I would go. If I was a crook and the coppers were after me, I would go to nice neighborhoods and just steal stuff there. I think about it all the time. You do? I think about it all the time go to nice neighborhoods and just steal stuff there i think about it all the time you do i think about it all the time because nice neighborhoods bro let me just tell you something dude here's the other thing nice neighborhoods have nice stuff they have nice stuff but if you are a really rich person okay or even kind of rich you got like you know

if you got millions okay if you're that kind of rich or even if you don't have, if you got millions, okay? If you're that kind of rich. Or even if you don't have millions. You got a lot of stuff, okay? You got necklaces. You got jewelry. You're stuff rich. You're not liquid, but you got stuff. You're stuff rich, right? You got stuff. Stuff rich.

Dude, you got workers that come over your house? How are you going to know? Know what? You're not looking at everything every day. How are you going to know what? If they take something. Sure. They do it all the time.

Fuck. Definitely they do it all the time fuck definitely they do it all the time fuck what do you mean like you you want to be the first one to think of it no i don't want to do it i don't want it to happen it happened to dad with his willie mays thing in the movers or the willie mays card that sucks yeah yeah that's right yeah it's probably but you know what it was probably the movers we don't know you don't know fuck that's the worst part it was me i have it that's the worst part about this whole thing and then you can't know fuck that's the worst part it was me i have it that's the worst part about this whole thing and then you can't accuse somebody because then they're like how dare you and it's like i don't like the how dare you think oh you were around so ask me if i took it just that's fine i'm fair enough yeah i was around did i take it no well you know what i and i think we

should all come to some kind of agreement here how dare you is another way of saying i did it let's just let's just face facts dude that's funny how dare you like when someone says how dare you that's just that's just buying time like what do you mean how dare you i don't know i think you did something think about how many times like john lithgow has said it though. You know what I mean? John Lithgow, dude. Like to really mean it. How dare you? I had. That Knights used to do that all the time.

I had an epiphany recently involving John Lithgow. All right. But I'll save it for. Okay. A lot of saving for life on life. Danny Houston, John Lithgow. Okay.

Big deal. Let's do another one. Let's do another one. Hi, Matt and Chris. Hi. This question is pretty much for Chris. I have some body image issues. I don't have a lot of confidence and stuff.

And I've noticed that you are super confident. And you talk a lot about how you're the buffest man that's ever lived. But you're actually pretty skinny. And so I'm just wondering where you were able to get that confidence from and how you seem to have developed a backwards body dysmorphia that actually works in your favor and makes you feel good about yourself. I would love to have that. So I'm hoping you guys can I would love to have that. So I'm hoping you guys can give me some advice with that. Thanks.

Dude, confidence. Hey, dude, hey, guess what? Going to blow your mind. Confidence is the same thing as insecurity. All good. Confidence is the same thing as insecurity. You're saying it too fast? So slow down and say it again. Confidence is the same thing as insecurity.

And remember, if it doesn't say my confidence, it's not the real thing. Wow. Yeah, no. I'm doing that because I'm joking, first of all. And then also, I am probably insecure about certain body parts. You know what I mean? Not my shoulders, though. They go on for days. Your face, right? Put a week on it. What? You're insecure about your face, right? No, I'm not insecure about my face.

Oh, you're not? Okay, maybe parts of my face. But, yeah. I would not be insecure about my shoulders because my shoulders go ridiculous, okay? So let's get that one thing out of there and put a week on it. To be clear, you're saying you're joking about when you say you're the buffest guy.

Well, yeah, I'm not the buffest guy ever. Dude, that should be clear that you're joking about that because you can tell with your eyes that you're not. You can convince yourself of things. It's like when they say walk around with a smile, you'll smile more, you know? It's like putting a smile on your face makes you happier eventually because you're just doing it you know that's you start with the affirmation of it right i am the buffest man

this century say it in the mirror when you wake up and you look i mean you wouldn't say that right but like you say i am the most gorgeous person alive in this century i mean don't be crazy i know i know i know but you know what i'm saying but i'm going i'm going overboard but you know what i'm saying affirmations kind of work sometimes i mean sometimes they're bullshit but i do do i you know i've done affirmations before sometimes you feel silly saying it but that's okay because those are the most important ones yeah people do say that affirmation stuff i've never tried it but here's something that i even though the question wasn't for me, which was hella rude,

but. Which is also hella rude to me. She said I was skinny. Yeah. Yeah, it was rude all around. Yeah, you're just a rude person. It's okay though. No, you're not a rude person.

I don't want her to get insecure. She's not a rude person. She's just. I just, I would implore you to keep in mind that you look in the,

it's true of everybody because it's just a fact of life. You only have one face, one body, one kind of hair, one whatever, everything. One kind of hair, yeah. And it's yours. And no matter what that is, no matter what your face is, what your body is, what your face is, what your body is, what your hair is, what your anything is.

So far. It's only that way for your whole life. So by the time you're in your 30s, at the latest, probably before that, you're going to have seen it so much, and the chances of you liking the thing you're going to be you're going to have seen it so much and the chances of you liking the thing you're looking at that you've seen so much are so low oh that's funny so keep that in mind everybody

what why on earth would we expect to like what we look at in the mirror when we see it every day that's funny all day all the time it's funny the baseline is should be we expect to fucking hate looking at when you look at it when you're about to look at marriage this is what you think oh here we go again exactly and why wouldn't you think that i'm so fucking sick of my dog shit face wow so the truth comes out my dog shit body the truth comes out dog shit fucking hair a move a monologue in a movie that was in the 80s that was so so good and so and everyone really regards us so high and i don't want any of those things that i have but they're mine and they're the only ones i'm ever gonna have a monologue in a movie richard gear says it oh dude i love richard gear

hell yeah thank you no but really though like you have to keep in mind the expectation of liking what you see, it needs to be nil. There's no chance anybody should like that. That's true. But so the reason why that can help you is because the of course aspect of it. Of course you hate the way you look. Of course you do

because you see it all the time. You're sick of it. Everybody's sick of seeing themselves. Yep. So take it with a grain of salt is all I'm really saying. Take it with a grain of salt that you don't like the way you look because of course you don't because you're you. That's for other people to like.

Other people get to like looking at you because you're new to them. Yeah. Damn. That's crazy. Never thought of it that way. And after I make points, from now on, I'm going to start saying rest in peace. About who? About what?

Rest in peace. To who? To that woman. To that woman. Why? I don't know. It feels- She's not dead.

No, I know, but I'm changing the meaning of it. So it's not a dead thing. It's just you resting in peace, not dead. Yeah, rest in peace. Like chill peacefully. So say rest in peace, not the dead way. Yeah, rest in peace, but not the dead way. How has Arnold Schwarzenegger never been in a movie where he blows somebody up and then

says, rest in pieces? Well, maybe maybe he has i wouldn't be surprised i would know that look up rest in pieces i bet somebody somebody has but arnold schwarzenegger has not said in the movie rest in pieces yeah he should do that for sure or you know rest in pieces movie. Wow. Oh, is it Arnold? No way. It can't be. Come on.

Oh. One more. Oh, my God. It's so bad. It's Sly. Hold on. Rest in pieces. Hold on.

Rest in pieces. It's as close to Arnold as you can fucking guess. That's unreal, dude. Wow. Oh, bro. Wow. All those things that came up, suggestions to watch, are so bad looking. Except the Jamiroquai thing. Wow.

Images suck now, you know? Look at everything on that screen whoa dude it's real i i i i is that has 16 views you know look at the perfection thing what the fuck is that that's for what's it called um and the thing on the top left yeah i don't i would click on that for sure you would click on that for sure anthony would love that movie whatever it is a promo for dude i i i i rest in pieces to say that dude imagine if you're with the homies you shoot someone you kill them yeah and then say that everyone like that's supposed to be badass and funny yeah if that happened in real life everyone goes oh what a fucking dork yeah or like no you guys remember when i said that you guys like how i said the

rest in pieces thing that that that would be dope if you were that kind of guy at the end. What? If afterwards you're like, yo, you remember when I killed that guy and I said rest in pieces, dude? What if that happened 20 minutes into The Expendables 2 and then throughout the whole movie

Sly kept like nudging Dolph Lundgren being like, remember when I said that? Oh, it was almost as good as the time I said rest in pieces. Like if that happened five or six times after that, I would have already seen it.

Oh, dude. And we know it. Why don't movies do that? Well, in that instance, because Sly doesn't want to be willing to even look like a person. I know.

If a movie does that, it's going to be like Jack Black doing it in a silly, silly movie. Yeah. I want a serious movie to do that. But dude, it's like the thing.

You know that movie, I don't know why I always think about this. That movie, Misery, the Stephen King book, Kathy Bates and James Caan, they went out to like eight other actors that movie i don't know why i always think about this that movie misery the stephen king book kathy bates and james conn they went out to like eight other actors to before james conn okay and the famous one warren baity okay they wanted him to do it he wanted to do it too right but he ultimately turned it down because he said it i don't i don't want i don't want to look weak

oh my god and it's like but then he wanted to change the movie around so that he was, and it's like, the whole movie's at your bedridden. Wow. And your legs are broken. Like, what do you want to do in the movie that wouldn't be misery?

You know? Yeah. But I feel like a lot of stars, the reason why they don't do that is because, speaking of insecurity, they're insecure. That's true.

They want to seem macho and not insecure. That's true. Which sucks, dude. You remember how I said, rest in pieces when I killed that one guy? Going to sleep at night. On a chopper, like holding on to everything. He's yelling it.

Dude, you remember how I said rest in pieces to that guy? All right, we're going to touch down here. Jet Li is just like. Yes. All right. One more. What's up, and chris oh this year's episode right now which so dig writing but anyways look i had to pause it because i got an idea recently i've had this friend who when it's just the guys

when it's just us you know just chilling doing just us, you know, just chilling, doing whatever. I like him. He's cool, you know. He's himself and he can even occasionally be funny. But when there's girls around, his only sense of personality is insulting the other guys in the room. I knew this was coming. We know all about it. So annoying. So how do I address him about it in front of the girls too? Because I got to, you know, embarrass him to inspire him to quit doing this i love this without coming off as defensive or you know you know what you know

what i mean i feel like you guys have had a friend like this so fucking love both you guys you have the exact same sense of humor as me and my brother which is why i love you my brother's name is also matt which again so dick writing but uh yeah let me know what you guys think i mean the cool kid i yeah oh you're bad with chicks huh that's what i would do you change your personality you're bad But yeah, let me know what you guys think. He's a cool kid. I, yeah. Oh, you're bad with chicks, huh? That's what I would do. You change your personality, you're bad with chicks, right? I mean, you would not do that.

Oh, bro. Wait, what? You would do a version of that, but the joke you would make, it would have to be clearer so everyone in the room understood it. You wouldn't make that joke. I might. Why would I care? I want it to be weird.

You make your bed. Because it wouldn't make that much sense, though. You want him to feel clowned because i want it to be weird because it wouldn't make that much sense though you want him to feel clowned i want him to feel weirdness i don't care how it comes in what shape or form i mean puts on sunglasses turns into a different person you know that's not true but uh yeah i just that's so stupid that joke um yeah Yeah, no, I mean, well, okay. What do you think I'd do? A version of that. Mr. fucking smarty pants. You would do a version of that,

but you would make sure it was, or at least I would. Also, rest in pieces, dude. He was still in one piece, you know? That's hilarious. Yeah, he should have been killed in a different way. Slice him up, you know? Yeah, slice him up.

He just wanted to use the line so badly, and he was going to die soon. Yeah, he needed to fit it in a different way. Slice him up, you know. Yeah, slice him up. He just wanted to use the line so badly, and he was going to die soon. Yeah, you need to fit it in. Go ahead. Oh, yeah, I'm going to die soon. We should probably do a rest in peace. Just go ahead. Totally forgot what I was saying.

I know I just shoot him up, but, you know. Oh, yeah. You want to call him out in front of everybody, but do it in the same tone as he is making fun of everybody i don't know use his own weaponry against him is what i would say wow you know is that's from the art of war is it no well i know well obviously no sun tzu yeah sun tzu said when you're around a bunch of girls and you and your homies are usually getting along fine, but there's one of your homies that is mean to you guys

only when there are girls around, here's what you do. Yeah. A squirrel. When you're around a bunch of chicks and your homie says, his personality changes and he does some shit, use same tone. Use his weaponry against him. Use his weaponry against him. Use his weaponry against him.

Use same tone. Yeah, I just think you do that. He seems like he's probably got a good sense of humor, so he could just be like, oh, you changed your personality during a bunch of chicks, huh? Yeah, you would do it. Exactly, yeah.

You clearly have like a quick wit and can think on your feet. Next time he does it, don't force it though, dude. It'll look bad it has to come to you let it come to you we gave bulldoze advice to the woman earlier this is the inverse of bulldoze let it come to you open your legs receive the rolling ball and stop it just before it hits you in the nuts okay is that like a magnolia no no but it can be no you open it's

imagine so open to imagine this you open... Imagine this. So open to anything. Imagine this. You open your legs and there's a big bowling ball coming right in your crotch. Okay. And it's going to hurt.

Yeah, as it were. What you do is you meet it a little further out with your hands. You let it come. You let it come. You slowly slow it down.

And then right before it hits you in the nuts, you stop it. Okay? First job as a life coach. Because he says, yeah, okay. I think I understand. So, okay, bowling ball, okay, yeah.

It's like a Ben Stiller movie. And then you have, now you possess the bowling ball is my point. And now you use it to smash his skull in, okay? You know? Okay. That's also Sun Tzu said that. Yeah.

Yeah, I feel like that's the way to do it you know it's not your you know it's guys don't know how to do shit you know people are not around they're not good with with women or whatever it is and then like then they go to that because they think that this is the thing that is going to make them look cool and yeah i don't even know if it's that thought out a lot lot of men, especially young guys, probably do it without even examining it at all. They're probably just feeling insecure, feeling competitive, and whatever is driving those things forces them to, oops,

forces them to be a dick to the guy who spoke last, just because they're insecure and feeling all those things and it's like it just comes out it doesn't matter why though the result sucks so you got to make them stop right so you're right to do that i would i would also if this guy's really your friend i would consider not the very first time you bring it up doing it in front of a group of women. I got a suggestion. Because I think if he's really your friend, he deserves the chance to have this brought to his attention. Good point.

I have a good – And then if he doesn't stop, then do that. But give him the chance to be like, oh, God, I do that? That sucks. I don't mean to do that but but give him the chance to be like oh god i do that that sucks i don't i i don't mean to do that like if somebody told that to me i'd be like holy shit i fuck seriously yeah yeah yeah okay yeah you know what i mean like it's possible he's especially as a young guy it's definitely possible he has no idea he's doing that here's the other thing uh here's a good suggestion and i don't think we were given this suggestion before why don't you just show him this

no i'm saying show him the video. This video. Oh, oh. He'll understand it's him and it's all good. He knows you love him and you guys are friends and, you know,

he'll get the idea. And, you know, you can have an open conversation about it. You know, maybe some of it is in your head. Maybe some of it, maybe he knows he does it.

Maybe he doesn't know he does it. You know, you'll get to the bottom of it. Show him this video. Yeah. And you guys, you know, maybe even though we say we say don't text it to him because we said don't show videos with each other. But no, but this is one of those instances where you can, hey, I'd like you to watch something.

Fast forward to 53 minutes. I mean, so should he be putting him on the spot like that? And then when you turn on, you go like this. Yeah. You just stare at him. Yeah. Even while he's watching, right? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. While he's watching the whole time.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. While he's watching the whole time. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then when he looks at you after the video, you say, do we both know somebody like that? So stupid. How about the way the guy in the video took the video? He was flirting. You want to talk about that? That was a flirting pose.

He was in his bed. Yep. Leaning on his elbows. Flirty pose. He was in his bed. Yep. Leaning on his elbows. Flirty pose. He definitely had his feet up. The only lights that were on were like pink, purpley. And the TV. Like red light district lights.

And he was flirting. Yeah, I understand. That's why I said that. Yeah. So flirt more. Send us another video and flirt more. Hey. So talk to my friend yeah all right uh well thank

you for listening go to join us on the patreon patreon.com slash lifeline luxury uh we're about to record one right now so go get it and where it's gonna have a lot of good stuff but also i don't know if there's a selling point but it is very good no it's gonna be a big deal and i just put out some new dates so go to chrisalia.com and check them out uh obviously please subscribe to the private record it got a banger coming out this week a dude grew up raised in a cult and he recently escaped and he's spilling the goods it is wild subscribe to the private record on youtube uh like comment and please do share with your friends it means a lot to me me. And if you do it, I love you. I will kiss you.

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