Lifeline - Welcome to Lifeline!

Episode Date: February 25, 2022

Hosted by brothers Chris & Matt D’Elia, Lifeline is an advice show for problems of all shapes and sizes— from the petty to the painful. Whether it be about sex, family, money, the meaning of life, or anything else you have questions about— Chris & Matt have you covered. Subscribe now and you'll have the first episode when it drops. Thank you! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey guys, this is a podcast we're doing called Lifeline and it's also a TV show if you're watching it on your TV. A lot of people watch the podcast on TV on YouTube and stuff is streaming to their TV and that's... It's still a podcast that you watch on your TV so it's not really a TV show. Anyway, I'm Chris D'Elia and this is Matt D'Elia. I'm Matt D'Elia. Yeah, you say it though.

It's an ode to the old love line in the 90s which was the shit. It was. We loved that. It was mostly about sex advice but we're going to give all sorts of different advices and the thing i say about this show is it's the first podcast about you if you got a problem or you got some kind of question in life or advice that you want you drop a video to us if it's like super secretive shit you don't want anybody to know you could take a video your face is in darkness so So nobody sees you. You got the voice like this. Yeah.

Like, you know. You can do a British accent so we can't tell. Whatever it is. If you're at a crossroads. If you've got a conundrum in your life. Just learned the words. Just got a thesaurus. Right.

Yeah. And I'm fitting them into this promo right now. Anything from really fucked up ones to really straightforward simple ones. I'll give you good advice. Chris will give you other advice. I give really good advice. I give you good advice chris will give you other advice i give really good advice i give crazy good advice do you yeah i do ask so many well we'll find out when we do the show should i give up my day job and pursue my dreams should i save my money better i'm worried that my partner is having an affair what's the best

way to do it and i'll tell you what one of the best ways to do it is to not go through their fucking text messages. Because that's super shitty. This is just an example of what I'm talking about. It's a deeper issue. But yes. So gas is really expensive. Do you think I should get rid of my car? Should I kill my father?

You know what I mean? Okay. Yeah. See, the thing about that one is the answer is always going to be no. You should not kill your father. Not necessarily, dude. Because you could be like, hey, my dad's here and he's got a 12 gauge to my head. He's my dad, but should I fucking kill him to save my own life?

What's up? What's up, fam? My dad's about to shoot me. He's got a 12 gauge. On the side of the fucking shop. A day later, you know? We give him advice and he still fucking flies in his shit. We're rip-roaring it. And you're dressed like give him advice and he's still fucking flies in his shit. We're rip-roaring

and you're dressed like an art teacher and that's fine. No, you know who fucking wears this? An art teacher. Besides me? Who? Maybe an art teacher is fucking Hailey Bieber.

So maybe you could even get fashion advice from me. Probably same size too because like... Well, watch out. No, but I'm saying no but not because you're small because the oversized fit

is the thing now. Playbar Cardi wears it too? Playbar... Who the fuck is Playbar Cardi? Okay small because the oversized fit is the thing now. Playboy Cardi wears it too? Playboy? Who the fuck is Playboy Cardi? Okay, it's a rapper, dude. What? Playboy Cardi's a person? Yeah, he's a rapper, dude.

He? There's a Cardi B. What is... But what is Cardi? What is Cardi B and then Playboy Cardi? There's a lot of Lil. Lil Jon. What is Cardi?

Cardi A. I don't like that. Well, I don't like it either, dude. I have no idea what he looks like. I just found out what Gunna looks like. And he dresses horribly. He dresses fucking... So he would never wear this.

He dresses always like there's a flood, but also he's at the beach. Somebody the other day, I was wearing this, and somebody said, oh, hi, Waldo. No, that's not correct. And guess if my blood boiled or not. Yeah, because it's not correct enough. But you were carrying a bunch of books that were toppling over. Right, and a hat that matched. Yeah.

The new show is Lifeline. Subscribe. Be ready for the first episode. And this is the new studio. And it's dusty. Yes, dude!

It's too dusty. Fuck yeah, the studio's too dusty. Woo! That's too loud. I was liking it until you did the woo.

But that's why I went like this and did it so you didn't get it in your shot. That's the most respectful thing I've ever known you to ever do.

I'm respectful. Subscribe, like, let everybody know, dude. Yeah. We're coming for you. Lifeline. Advices. Advises.

Yeah, and don't murder your father.