Lighthouse Horror Podcast - I Teach People How To SUMMON THE DEAD | Scary Stories

Episode Date: April 20, 2024

I can teach you how.  Story from TheJesseClark Make sure to check out more of their work at u/TheJesseClark  Cover Art from Sandeep Karunakaran        Original Post: How to Summon the Dead in Three Simple(ish) steps : r/nosleep  Original YouTube link: I Teach People How To SUMMON THE DEAD           For more stories like this one, check out my YouTube channel: Lighthouse Horror | YouTube  Patreon: Lighthouse Horror | Patreon Merch: lighthousehorror.com  Sound Effects: Freesound Zapsplat Music: Lucas King - YouTube Myuu - YouTube  Incompetech  Thank you for listening to this scary story! If you enjoyed this new creepypasta story, please check out some of my other horror stories. We'll be uploading new episodes every week, featuring ghost stories, haunted encounters, mysteries, true stories, creepypasta, and anything supernatural and paranormal. Don't miss out on the thrill and suspense that await you in each episode!

So you want to be a psychic medium? That's wonderful. You'll likely fail, though, and that's quite a bit less wonderful. In fact, it's among the least pleasant eventualities I'm yet aware of that can befall a person. And by fail, I'm not referring to the financial collapse of an outed fraud. One of those county fair hacks who sense the presence of your loved ones through a crystal ball in exchange for $200.

No, I'm instead referring to what happens if you stumble during the dissent, or strike a bad deal with a demonic being, or get played a fool while gallivanting through the depths. The consequences are quite eternal, so do keep that in mind. But we'll get to all that in a bit. For now, just be sure, exceedingly, overwhelmingly, unflinchingly, immaculchingly, immaculchingly I amaculately sure that you appreciate the gravity of this decision, as well as the fact that channeling the dead requires a descent into hell, and that this is indeed the path you'd like to walk.

If that's the case, then I believe this guide can be of some manner of assistance. So without farther ado. Let's begin. 1. Be sure you can truly communicate with the dead. This one sounds obvious, but you'd be absolutely amazed to learn how many former so-called mediums mistook their own schizophrenia or drug-induced delusions, or even a single experience with a $12 Ouija board from Target, as evidence of a genuine spiritual connection to the

afterlife. From there, the story is nearly always the same. They jump the gun and start charging fees, and after maybe even, you know, they jump the gun and start charging fees, and after maybe one or two reasonably pleasant experiences, word will get out in hell that there's an idiot on the loose. Then that idiot will get attacked by a big bad guy from the abyss and either get scared off to Christianity if they're lucky, or will be cursed or killed if they're not. And you don't want to make that mistake. So let me be abundantly clear here, an actual spiritual current to the afterlife is exceedingly rare. Not only that, but any

attempt on your part to delve into the depths of the deep or elsewhere or the abyss, when you do not have the necessary spiritual hardware to do so is tremendously unwise. If you think you might have a true current, don't just assume you're a wizard. contact an expert such as myself, or Dr. Davis on Windingham Boulevard, and will gladly run some diagnostics on you for a small fee. Some symptoms of a true current include, but are not limited to, a predisposition to paranormal activity, an innate sense of where deadly happenings and tragedies occurred. We'll get to that in a bit, and the occasional communication to you from hell or someone more else. These typically manifest as a random and unrecognizable thought that is imprinted

upon you in its completed form, as opposed to human thoughts, which, like spoken words, take time to conclude. You can often trace the source of a message by judging the content. If the thought is something like, you should give that homeless man your lunch. It's probably God. So confirm it is. Ask the voice. if it acknowledges that Christ came in the flesh. And if it says yes, then go ahead and give that homeless man your lunch. It'll be worth it. But it doesn't necessarily mean you've got what it takes to be a medium,

because God can communicate with whomever he likes. So don't get cocky. He hates that. However, if the thought is something like rob a bank, and it hits you all at once when a vault heist was the absolute, absolute last thing on your mind, well, that's likely a demon. Don't rob a bank, obviously. But take your ability to intercept that message, usually a shout from hell that would normally fall on the deaf ears of the veiled living, also known as Normies, as a sign that you might

have some kind of deeper connection to the spiritual realms. Then come pay me a visit, and I'll confirm or deny your intuition. The operative word there is pay. I do accept cash and checks and all major credit cards except American Express. Only after you've confirmed your connection, should you attempt to travel to the realms, I cannot emphasize that enough. 2. Know how to identify conduits.

Like I mentioned in passing above, an experienced medium has likely fine-tuned their innate ability to walk into a room or an alleyway or out onto a field and know with conviction something terrible happened there this of course signifies the presence of a conduit a doorway into the spiritual side sometimes deliberately placed by an experienced medium or cult member or other spiritual wanderer and sometimes a rough hole ripped into the veil by the brute force of concentrated negative energy. Now, an experienced medium like myself could walk into a conduit and tell you without a second thought, suicide, just by nature of the gray-tinted spiritual scent of the place. Or murder, because it smells like red and black. Or battle, because the sheer amount of accumulated suffering is unmistakable. And also because there will likely be a historical

plaque and some tourists nearby. If you're new to all this, however, you probably won't be able to snap your fingers and call that terrible thing for exactly what it was. It'll just feel like something is off in there, like the air is out of place, or like you're being watched. That's because it is, and you are. But after a few visits to conduits, you'll begin to get the hang of it, and you'll be able to tell the difference between a good conduit, a proper, stable gateway through which you can work, and a bad conduit. Anything else. Be it a two-way door established by some Satan-worshipping cult through which demons are entering, or a collapsible conduit, which is usually a trap set by mischievous demons designed to lure

naive spiritual wanderers into the depths, and then have the doorway snap shut behind them. From there, you'll begin to dial up this skill even more, eventually reaching the point where you can pinpoint exactly what kind of tragedy, if any, is responsible for the existence of any given door. There's an even higher, rumored level of skill here in which you can see into the spiritual realm through the conduit without having to pass through it, although I have yet to encounter any credible accounts of its implementation. Also, keep in mind that if the enemy's is in range, then so are you. So be careful. Now, if you're going to be a medium in the traditional sense, delving into the afterlife on behalf of a grieving, deep-pocketed widow, then unfortunately

you'll be spending a good chunk of your professional time around the worst conduits, like suicides. But more often than not, the dead will have become the dead through more natural means, like old age or cancer. No less tragic for your paying customer, of course. But less spiritually chaotic than some of the alternatives. In those cases, you might not have a completed conduit to work with, since not enough pain and agony existed at the time of death to completely force open a door. Instead, you might have a depression. No, not the blue-and-black-scented depression that likes to linger around the suicide conduit. But a depression, an area of the veil that's thinner than normal, but not yet a gaping

hole. If you run into one of these, then you'll have to finish opening the conduit yourself. Eventually you'll be able to open them anywhere. But these are good for training purposes. This requires a somewhat time-consuming ritual that involves salt and herbs and Latin chance and all of that, but I'm not going to dive into too much detail here, because I don't want any new wanderers giving this a shot without supervision. Again, come see me for more personalized training.

I also accept PayPal. 3. Know the layers of hell. Hell is essentially a commonly used term for anywhere in the afterlife that's not heaven, and it's where you'll be doing all of your work. Communication to heaven is called prayer, because typically God wants to tolerate any of this nonsense in his backyard. The image your mind likely conjured up, that of fire and sulfur and gnashing teeth and eternal damnation, is descriptive of the

lake of fire, which technically falls under this category. It's a fairly broad definition to be fair, but is kind of its own thing. So don't worry. Nobody gets that far down until after the judgment, or unless they've royally screwed up a trip in the rest of hell, and that would take some doing. Also, to clear up another but equally relevant misconception. No, Dante's Inferno does not adequately describe hell. It's a literary classic, but a textbook it is not. There are not nine layers of hell. There are four, which to be fair do become increasingly horrible with each descent, the bottom most of which is the lake of fire. The first layer, the one where murder victims often reside, seeing as how they're not here

because of their own behavior, alongside the billions who lived reasonably decent lives, and then died of reasonably natural causes, is called elsewhere, if you're thinking that doesn't sound so bad, then, well, it depends on what you're comparing it to. If you're comparing it to earth, then elsewhere, the closest thing I know of to purgatory. Might as well be the lake of fire. But if you're comparing it to the lake of fire, then elsewhere may as well be heaven. The defining characteristic of elsewhere is the emptiness. There are no hideous monsters here, although sometimes demons pass through it to get

to the mortal realm, and no volcanoes, and no lava or burning sulfur or torture chambers. Elsewhere is just unfinished dimensional space. Colorless, scentless, featureless. You wander the emptiness of elsewhere until the judgment. And believe me, the wait is a whole lot longer down here than it is up there. The good news, in case you haven't already realized this, is that the majority of your trips will go this far but no further. people weren't killed by a self-inflicted shotgun blast of the head, after all.

They were killed by cheeseburgers, and so they spend much of their time in elsewhere. So if Billy Joe and Susie want to conjure up Granny Smith, and assuming Granny Smith wasn't a guard at Auschwitz, you'll probably find her wandering around the emptiness of elsewhere, somewhere near the spiritual end of her conduit, confused and alone, and all too happy, to see a visitor from the mortal realm. And yes, their proximity to their conduit is why it's advisable to begin the seance at or near the physical location of their death, lest you be forced to spend a good chunk of eternity trying to track them down in the emptiness. Once you locate Granny Smith, you approach slowly and without making sudden movements,

and introduce yourself. Then you'll likely get this. Oh, Billy and Susie sent you. How are they? Are they eating their vegetables? Susie's not still dating that nasty boy from that heavy metal garage band. Is she... Oh, and let me tell you about this one time when Billy was five. Or maybe he was six or seven.

No, he couldn't have been seven because this was before he got into his Batman phase and... Yada, yada, yada. Stop them here if you must, and explain that although time has nearly no meaning in elsewhere, it still has it on earth, and you still live there, so to you, time is valuable. So, if you wouldn't mind Granny Smith, let's get you up to the surface so you can talk to your grandchildren. In some cases, though, training is required to keep them calm. This is especially the case for the recently dead, who are only just now coming to grips with

a horror of their fate and who might treat you like a drowning person treats a lifeguard. For people who did indeed drown to death, their panic will just roll over into a typical case of afterlife madness. They'll succumb to that panic, and they'll jump on you and scratch you and try to pull you down to pull themselves up. For this reason, it's also a good idea to never accept contracts to channel the recently deceased to begin with. Give them some time to process their situation, and for the love of God, do try not to be so cruel as to even inadvertently give them the false hope of their coming

permanently back to life. Seeing the face of the dead as they realize their long prayed and pleaded for trip back up to the mortal realm was incomplete and temporary. Soul-crushing. Anyway, I myself have a pre-prepared statement for the dead that bores them out of any desire to react to my presence with reckless violence. It also serves to outline a number of legal considerations, so it's probably in your best interest to draft something similar once you start your own practice. To whom it may concern. Congratulations.

Your loved ones have purchased my psychic channeling services and would like to summon you for a temporary period to speak with them in the mortal realm. You will be permitted to use my vocal cords and facial expressions to communicate for the duration of the seance. Be advised, the conversation will last no longer than one earth hour. During that time, you may not attempt to participate. possess my body or in any way try to have your conscience transferred to any other person in the mortal realm. Any attempt to violate these rules that can be identified as an attempted

violation by a reasonable observer, including but not limited to, an attempt to retain control of my body beyond what is permitted or the time allotted, will result in the immediate termination of the proceedings. At which point you will be returned to my body. turned to elsewhere and blacklisted by the association of psychic mediums and interdimensional communicators from further contact with the living. Please proceed through the outlined conduit here in a calm and orderly fashion. This brings up another point too. You'll want to go with them and be prepared to fight for control of your body.

If things go south, there are a number of self-deliverance methods that we can discuss once you're in my office. And things may very well go south, unless you've developed a reputation as a wanderer not to be trifled with, which of course takes some time. Hell, I once met a fresh out-of-body medium and elsewhere who claimed he'd been locked out of his own body during a seance and trapped in the emptiness. That guy's name? Ted Bundy.

By the time I'd assisted the real Ted back into his body. He woke up in the electric chair and was sent straight back down to the third layer of hell. Poor bastard. Ted was a good guy. Okay, well, that didn't really happen, although it's a fun cautionary tale in the business that's frequently used to haze the new guys. I have, however, seen careless mediums get tricked into being possessed, which meant, of course, that they had to be exercised.

And that's no fun for anyone. Even if the spirit being evicted is just a desperate Uncle Joe, and not Belvisor, demon king of locust. One last thing. When you channel, you need to stay spiritually clean and be constantly scrubbing unwanted stuff out of your system. The dead are going to be sitting in your body for an hour after all, and depending on who it is, they could leave behind all manner of nasty garbage. Some of them are smart and use the seance as an opportunity to unload some bitterness or lust or unforgiveness on you, so they won't suffer from it back and elsewhere. Where there's no carnal use or practicality do those things, and where you see them for what they are, spiritual anchors around your neck. When I first got started, I remember being uncharacteristically angry and uptight, and wanting a smoke. That wasn't like me. So after inhaling a pack of cigarettes, I put two

and two together and traced it all back to Benjamin Gardner. An angry son of a bitch, whose kids had summoned him through me a few days prior. It all becomes easier to scrape off once you identify the source, but still, you'll want to stay on your toes. The second layer of hell is called the deep. This realm is reserved, primarily. primarily for people worse than those trapped in elsewhere, but better than those trapped in layer 3, like Ted Bundy. Typically, you'll find your liars and adulterers and scammers and racist and generally more unpleasant than average people down here. But because the line between decent and not so decent people is so very poorly defined in life, the second veil, allegedly

set between the deep and elsewhere, is so thin, that some people argue it doesn't exist, implying that the deep isn't appreciably more than a dark corner of the upper plain, kind of like how Europe and Asia aren't really two different land masses. For that reason, it's easy enough to wander right into it, and it's not until you're well within its boundaries that you realize, hey, it's darker and hotter here, for the spiritually attuned, or anyone who's seen a horror movie, for that matter, dark and hot, is almost never a good combination. So turn around and walk the other way as soon as possible. Luckily for you, it's as easy to leave the deep as it is to enter it,

assuming you're a wanderer and not at a cease. To be honest, there isn't much to be said about the deep. Other than when a client describes an appropriately but not overwhelmingly shitty loved one who I'll be bringing back from the dead, and I know I'll be very very very much. visiting the deep. A charge extra. The negative attributes of the people here are amplified immensely. They're not murderers, but that doesn't mean you want to be hanging around them for any longer than is absolutely necessary. Moving right along. Of all the readily accessible layers of hell, the third, known only as the abyss, is by several orders of magnitude the worst. Like the deep, it is hot and dark, like elsewhere, it is infinite and desolate.

But those things don't even come close to describing the true horror of this place. This layer, of course, is reserved for your Ted Bundys and your Genghis-Kans and your Adolf Hitler's. And yes, you can go meet those guys if you want. They're down there. But by the time you see what's happening to them, you'll almost pity them for their plight, which is saying something indeed. For those of us who fancy ourselves as having a thread of human decency. Now, there's one commonly held idea of hell that isn't documented in any scripture,

but is prevalent enough in culture that it's worth considering. The image of demons running hell and torturing people in it. Well, this is that place. Right here. In the lake of fire, they'll be tortured along with us. And in the upper and mortal plains, they only dip their feet in the waters for fun. But in the abyss, that's where they live. That's where they play. To answer the less interesting questions you have, no, I do not take any contracts that involve a trip into the abyss, nor should you. So if you come to my office and ask me to channel your murder rapist mafioso of a great-uncle,

sorry, pal. Keep it moving. I'm not about to get down there and try to argue with Abadon and Leviathan about borrowing White Power Steve for a bit. I promise I'll bring him right back. Sure, even if they'd let me take him, no doubt after forcing me to to bargain my soul as collateral, or that of a loved one. White Power Steve would be so desperate to escape that he wouldn't care about my little legal contract I cited earlier. He would wreck me out of sheer panic and would possess my body, and interestingly enough, probably use it to go to church and feed the hungry, or do anything else he could think to do, to get God to see how changed a man he is. And before you say, well, he's really not changed, he's

just sorry he got caught. Uh, no. The unspeakable horrors of the abyss would scrub even Hitler so clean he'd volunteer as a synagogue janitor out of the goodness of his heart, assuming they ever let him out. To be thoroughly honest, though, I've never been to the abyss myself. Of course I haven't. I only know from what I've been told, and from the one time in which, when I was a new medium, I wandered too far into the deep and ran up against the third veil. I pressed my ear up against the wall of it, unsure of its nature, and I could hear the screams, and the laughter and the grinding. And then I heard a voice whisper my name from what sounded like an inch away, and I was filled

with such existential, eternal, inexplicable dread that I've never fully shaken the experience from my dreams. I would describe the feeling inappropriate metaphor, but how can I? I felt like I was standing at the edge of hell watching the apocalypse unfold before my eyes. And I was, quite literally. Like I said, I only know from anecdote, there is only one wanderer vastly more experience than myself, whose tales I'll perhaps recant here one day soon, if he would allow it. And from rumor what lies in the abyss, A sea of engines is how it was described to me.

An infinite plane of torturous, monstrous, cacophonous, terrible, hideous machines designed to torment and to terrorize, to dehumanize, to rend flesh from bone and soul. from spirit. What word is there for that? Other than hell? Anyway, those are tales for another time. For now, I hope you've at least given some manner of second thoughts to this career choice. If you're still game, and we'll find out soon enough, come on by my office. I accept cashier's checks and money orders. We're just getting started.