Lions Led By Donkeys Podcast - Episode 11 - The Battles That Never Were

Episode Date: August 14, 2018

On this episode Joe and Nick talk about Battles that never actually happened! From the Great LA air raid to the Battle of Kransebes, where Joseph II Austrian Army supposedly routed itself. We apologize for the audio issue that pops up about 20 minutes in. We have no idea what is causing it, but we are working to fix it. If anyone knows what might cause random static through the microphone please let us know! Follow the podcast on twitter @lions_by Follow Joe on twitter @jkass99

Thank you for watching! Oh, and welcome to another episode of the Lions Led by Donkeys podcast. I'm your co-host, Joe. I am Nick. And today we're doing a little something different. But before we get to that point, how are you doing? Doing good. We're drinking our fucking favorite drink. Old Crow.

The official sponsor of the podcast, whether or not they know about it. It's official. It's official. Well, we're just waiting for them to catch up. I know you've been ran ragged by the Army recently. Apparently so. Yes, I have. Yeah.

And I have been doing numerous stupid things on the internet and inviting the ire of a lot of people I didn't know knew I existed. Which is fucking great while I'm at work. Yeah. So Nick was at work this morning, and I made a stupid fucking joke about Black Rifle Coffee sponsoring Sean Hannity. And before I knew it, I had people from Reuters and people from Sofrep, who I defended in our last episode, calling me a piece of shit.

Now you're regretting i still i still defend what they did but what they did but the people they are right and you know they did all sorts of awful shit um in the past and you know it's it's kind of like the joke from harry potter uh wish i'd seen it whereas uh somebody can be a great man but not necessarily a good one uh yeah that's giving me a really spider-man ish yeah with great responsibility with great power comes great responsibility yeah right uh but uh great doesn't always mean good exactly we sometimes uh great just means being a piece of shit uh just a really huge piece of shit and grit becomes a measurement of size rather than quality right a unit of shit uh just a really huge piece of shit and grit becomes a measurement of size rather

than quality right a unit of measurement yeah uh so today i can go into that all day but it's not our podcast is about i'm sure there doesn't be another one or two about that um we're going to talk about battles that never actually were, but battles who still somehow through hundreds of years in one of them and almost 100 years in the other still find their way like as an earworm into popular culture. One of them is well known for being a bunch of shit, but the other one is still pretty much reported as fact. but the other one is still pretty much reported as fact.

And that kind of branches into our Q&A episode that we did last week about how things can somehow not be true but start to be accepted as a matter of fact. And that's what we're going to talk about today. What we're going to get to is not exactly in our podcast wheelhouse, and it's nothing that we've ever covered before. Our topic today brings us back to one of the multiple Aust austro-turkish wars um which is just called the austro-turkish war but a more specific battle than that and one that is well known along um pseudo historians on the internet as the battle of krinsebes um so see not going to lie. I know nothing about that. I'm going in blind.

I've never heard of it. Most people are. There's no... I mean, because it's a battle in this episode, you're going to know that there's no scholarly sources on this. There's no nothing. It is this weird thing that started at a kernel of truth like a one kernel and somehow someone just stretched it into being this big epic story

that simply doesn't measure up somebody said oh fuck yeah this shit happened yeah and that's it's what we're going to go into and that's why a lot of not necessarily classical history because this isn't classical history um but why a lot of history before uh you know actual proof existed is is flexible right um so our first story brings us to the austro-turkkish War, which actually began as the Russo-Turkish War, before it turned into a massive Habsburg family fight against the Ottomans. I know I shit-talk the Habsburgs a lot, but I don't have an excuse for that, because it's all warranted. They're pieces of shit who all fucked each other.

But there's no surprise. Nothing wrong with that or anything. Yeah, incest is the best. But we do cover a lot of, not a lot, I would say some people with incest in their family. Well, especially when you start talking about the Habsburg monarchies, it's just like a proud family tradition is that all their dicks are intertwined. Until they're so retarded they can't even. A little bit of dick twisting, no big deal. That family tree is that all their dicks are intertwined. Until they're so retarded they can't even... A little bit of dick twisting? No big deal?

That family tree is a pole. So we this has been kind of a European tradition fighting the Turks since about the 16th century. So the Turks declared war on Russia in 1787 due to

quote, numerous Russian provoc provocations end quote they never actually say what those provocations were i'm assuming they were existing yeah meanwhile austrian emperor joseph ii uh solid first name i have to say uh not biased at all no no none at all signed an alliance with Catherine the Great of Russia in 1781 therefore is mostly forced to join the war before they are ready to ensure quote so as not

to annoy the empress end quote not a good way to start your international relations with your neighbor mostly I mean the Austrians weren't exactly at the peak of their power, and neither were the Turkish at this point. They were kind of at the waning portion here, and that would continue until post-World War I.

Right. So they kind of found themselves in servitude of Tsarina Russia. So this couldn't have happened. Still Dix Interpoint? Not the Russians at this time. so this couldn't have happened. Still Dix intertwined? Not the Russians at this time. Like, this isn't when, like, Tsar Nicholas II was really a Dix. Kaiser Wilhelm II,

and they had, like, cutesy nicknames for one another. We're not quite there yet. We're about... Just before? Yeah, we're about, like, a generation removed. Okay, cool. So this couldn't come at a worse time for the Austrians.

So the Belgian Revolution was going on just next door. And he was staring down the rise of a dominant Prussia, which will go into, you know, the Prussians turn into the German Unification and then the Franco-Prussian War, which we talked about very briefly during the second Mexican Empire episode. It goes bigger than you think. So this isn't a strong time for Austria in domestic policy or geopolitical policy, but they found themselves roped into a war anyway.

But I want to add, I'm glad you're covering the Austrian thing, because when I was covering Hague, I kept saying Australian over Austria just because of how used to saying Australia. Australia is known as being a world power. I could see I get those two confused. But it's also probably because the alcohol and Australians. Don't blame the old crow

for this. The old crow has never done anything wrong. We didn't have old crow at this time. What were we drinking? We were drinking wine. A mix of drinks. There was a lot of wine. So the Austrians entered the war in February of 1788 and promptly

lost any hope of a quick victory. So logistic problems were a huge worry for the Austrian army and they couldn't really do anything other than just sit there. Disease swept through the camps and the soldiers staying in them had to deal with a human wave of serbian refugees that complicated the austrian supply problems and this wave of disease we've talked about it

slightly here and there that's pretty common for 1700s warfare even late 1800s warfare more people died from uh disease during the american civil war than they did getting shot by each other uh but it was it was so noteworthy in this campaign that was like contributed to being one of the reasons why they lost so badly um so with that background being laid we'll move into our main story. On September 21st or the 22nd, I was really sure who or where, 1788, about a hundred thousand manned Austrian army was encamped around the town of Krenseves, which is in modern-day Romania. Scouts were sent off ahead to make sure no Turks were trying to push at their flanks or send any missions around the rear or anything like that.

A detachment of hussars, which are also known as light cavalry, crossed the Timis River in their search for Turks or really anything they can get their hands on. I really like using them in Total War and all that fun stuff. And this is the age where armies lived off the land. So sure, they were going out to look for enemy, but also units of the army

would be designated to look for food, look for water. I'm not going to say probably scavengers. I believe the word is provisioners would be the fancy term but you know they lived off the land

they lived off the country they were fighting in so that is another shade of where they found themselves I'm not going to say hunter-gatherer system but they had a gathering type of system going on for their yeah they weren't really hunting as much as they were stealing oh okay but it wasn't stealing because they're the army exactly it's all for the good yeah um

so the hasars didn't find any turks uh instead what they found was what historical sources call gypsies, which we now know as a slur. So we will call them travelers with wares and food and most importantly booze to sell. This might be the 1700s, but soldiers are soldiers, and of course they bought every last drop of those travelers had of booze. And they began to drink heavily because that's just what soldiers do. Great. I'm glad that still lives on. Yeah.

Eventually, a group of infantry soldiers heard the ruckus of old ones and drunken hussars get lit up on the hill and decided to see what all the collusion was about. When they got to the hussars, they wanted to join on the party, as apparently the Austrian armies had no booze of their own and the Hussars just said, fuck you, no, this is ours. They didn't exactly feel

the team's spirit. The infantry didn't take this rejection all that well. They don't really take rejection well at all. Yeah, that's like a current day thing. Yeah, no, even to this day. Like, what? How dare you?

Do you see the color of my corn? Do you turn down my dick like that? Yeah. So the Hussars outnumbered and outgunned, retreated behind the barrels of the booze that they bought. And I don't know how much money Hussars made back then. Barrels? Barrels.

Barrels of booze. Who hides behind that it was enough barrels to make a defense it's probably because the industry was like don't fucking shoot the barrels dude yeah that's a solid choice yeah like oh good cover yeah we can't shoot uh yeah i i consider that a solid tactical choice in there yeah i can see that now no no soldier worth his soul is gonna fire on a barrel of booze um unless they're quaker or something i don't know they're just opposed to it yeah so there's there's no real sources for this event uh there's no for a verified firsthand sources um who categorized who fired first but someone someone shot someone, at least according to the story.

And the hussars jumped on their horses and fucked right off back to the camp. So, what could be worse than shooting at your comrades over some cheap roadside booze? Military special, some may say. Yeah, that is the modern day equivalent. special some may say yeah that is that is the modern day equivalent um so someone no one sure who also no one sure if it actually happened uh began screaming turks turks as the hussars approached the camp which sent the entire army of a hundred thousand men into a panic and shooting in every direction. What the fuck? So, I mean, 100,000 people. That is

not an army. That's an army group. Yeah. Which is a large formation of bodies. And this is before modern technology, modern communication. No one's communicating with anybody. No. So the Hussars, who had started the whole thing, immediately just got fucking shot

to pieces um as they get up towards the camp uh and everyone you know i don't say reasonably may have suggested that this is a turkish cavalry charge and that's about where like the objectionable reasonableness of this entire story kind of starts to wear off what do you think because i'm at a loss because I know nothing about this. Yeah. But I don't think it was a cavalry charge, just off of what you're saying. Well, it wasn't a real cavalry charge.

It was the Hussars. And, you know, there's something to be said for the confusion that, well, grew up and start. But, you know, this uh almost an 1800 uh era army where they have some pretty severe discipline in place i mean like the same armies that we hear about the uh the prussians being like ironclad in their disciplines the same era uh but there's more to it um finally some officers rushed out to try to restore some kind of order and started screaming for soldiers to halt halt you know stop shooting stop moving but the austrian army at this time was made up of austrians serbs croats italians and various other national minorities with no common language spoken

between them um to some of them some of them i don't know who uh this order of halt in german sounded like a turk streaming a lot keep going so the terrified and drunken soldiers just kept on killing one another. The soldiers, able to handle little more than their enemies, broke and ran. They ran. This is the story. They ran from their own firing. They routed themselves. Dude, this sounds like my fucking Total War game.

Oh, fuck, my unit got routed. Yeah, they routed themselves. Dude, this sounds like my fucking Total War game. Oh, fuck, my unit got routed. Yeah, they routed themselves. Emperor Joseph, who had found themselves in the middle of all of this, having been commanding his armies from the front, which is marginally acceptable at,

um, through most of the war, was actually pushed off his horse and fell in a creek. So, you can imagine being the asshole who, like, routed a battle against yourself and, like, shoulder-checked the emperor into some shallow puddle. So to make the hilarious insult an even bigger injury, two days later, the Turkish army showed up,

surveying the battlefield of the Dendamununay and simply walked into Konsepi's post. Reports of the Austrian army wounded and simply walked into Konsevsky's post. Reports of the Austrian army's losses vary wildly, and that's something else we'll get into. From either 500 dead and wounded to almost

10,000 dead and wounded. That's a fucking lot compared to 500. Yeah, that's not exactly... Holy shit. That's not exactly like a slight jump in reality. Yeah. So, Joseph II limped away, being Holy shit. That's not exactly like a slight jump in reality. So Joseph II limped away, being the only commander that we can think of whose army got run by itself, right? Well, maybe not. There's a good chance this battle never actually happened.

There's actually a much better chance this battle never actually happened. Yeah, I couldn't find shit on it. That's why I'm not well there's nothing that's considered a first-hand source which is what we you know we generally consider scholarly sources that's what you really go off of yeah um so this even though this is late 1700s the austrian army and most especially joseph ii was normally very good at keeping records uh so much so that letters he was sending back and forth to his staff back in Austria detailed small things like weather, every little skirmish they found along the way, the logistical problems,

and every bullet fired. This dude didn't leave a detail unturned. He recorded everything. I don't know if that's the sound of a good commander or a bad commander. I'm going to say that's the sound of a commander who doesn't necessarily know his priorities. But still, there's a good chance if the Emperor

totally lost control of his army and was thrown into a fucking puddle, he would have made a note about it. Yeah. Especially if he found himself in the middle of this fucking chaos. I was fucking bitch-checked into this puddle. Yeah, no, yeah. Especially if he found himself in the middle of this fucking chaos. I was fucking bitch-checked into this puddle. Yeah, but he did note something.

He did note something happening. And this is from his diaries. It says, quote, Pensebes without the enemy's knowledge. All of a sudden, a group of Wallachians became alarmed and fired their rifles, which threw a unit of hussars and dragoons into confusion. They answered this fire before finally attacking the infantry. The column in which I found myself was completely dispersed. Cannons, wagons, and all the tents were turned over. It was horrible. Soldiers shooting at each other. Eventually, calm was restored, and we were lucky that the Turks were not on our trail, otherwise the whole army would have been destroyed. Nevertheless, we lost

not only the pots and tents, with considerable damage done to other baggage, but also three pieces of artillery. End quote. How unlikely would it have been for hundreds of thousands of soldiers being killed in a drunken clusterfuck, and Joseph not even mentioning them, even though he took time to talk about cooking pots. Does he say clusterfuck? No, I said clusterfuck.

Oh, okay. He does mention a rear guard action between his forces and the Turks, which left about 150 men dead and wounded. Not the same day, not the same circumstances, but he does talk about it. Not to mention, there is no mention of this battle

to be found anywhere until 40 years after the battle supposedly took place in a publication known as the Australian Military Magazine. Who wrote the publication? I would assume the Australian Military. Right. Or the Austrian. Fuck, I pulled you.

The Austrian Military Magazine. Get fucked! It is also referenced in, and this is actually the title of the book, listen closely, The History of the 18th Century Through the 19th Till the Overthrow of the French Empire, with particular reference to the mental cultivation and progress by F.C. Schlosser in 1843. This is almost a hundred years after the battle supposedly took place. Fucking Schlosser around, fucking history, fucking books. almost a hundred years after the battle supposedly took place. Fucking sloshing around. Fucking history fucking books.

Another source considered one of the best sources on the battle, and I won't even try to say this, because it's a long string of German compound words that my dumb American tongue can't even pronounce. It was written 60 years after the battle. At that point,

we can guess some of the myths and legends surrounding Joseph's drunken army began to leak into what was considered the truth that they reported. So, could this battle have happened? Right. No. No goddamn way. 100,000 people panic murdered each other in the middle of the night. And not a single

firsthand source Prop their head up to talk about it for starters Joseph would have said something about It taking place secondly Holt in German if You were to guess up top head. What is Holt in German? I have no fucking clue. It's fucking Holt. Holy shit That's easy halt is german for stop of course um so that makes sense now yeah yeah and none of those languages that even remotely sound like a la even in their language it doesn't third there is no physical evidence this ever took place um i hope it did. When an army the size of

100,000 people camps out somewhere and then starts killing each other, you would expect bones or weapons or signs of encampment. None of this exists in Krenseppi's. There's no single fucking piece of evidence. Where did the military special go?

I would assume... Did it survive? It may have died with the hussars that supposedly drank it. So how did this myth become so popular that every amateur historian on the internet talks about it? And you can Google it. It pops up everywhere, from Reddit to Quora to Yahoo Answers

to all these places, mostly because it's one of those historical fun facts that's kind of funny and the Turks talk about it all the time because it makes them sound good yeah it's a form of propaganda because the two sides have been each other's necks for so long the Turks have been trying to get into Western Europe since the Crusades. So the idea that they may have possibly but not really slaughtered themselves on the night of drunken stupor when they were still defunding was effectively an Islamic caliphate. Shows them to be a bunch of chuckle dicks, effectively.

So people could technically be falling for 100 years of Turkish propaganda. It's not hard to believe. But there's no physical evidence. There's no scholarly evidence. The first-hand accounts are bullshit at best. Are there first-hand accounts? No.

There's none. The first-hand accounts that technically exist are so far after the battle that they're older than I am from the battle. That doesn't exist. Even in those old times, there was first-hand experiences at the Battle of Waterloo.

There was first-hand experiences during the French Revolution. There was first-hand experiences at the American Revolution. There is first-hand experiences from the Crusades. The simple fact that there's no first-hand experiences from the Crusades. The simple fact that there's no first-hand experience of some

fucking private whoever dwarf from the Austrian Private Joblo. Yeah. Who never talked about the time that he got shut out by

a whole bunch of drunken dragoons. It didn't exist. Dragoons are so good in Total War. Yeah. I use them all the time.

Which one? I usually was either on the French. Was it Napoleon Total War or Empire Total War? Empire. I either on the French. Was it Napoleon Total War? No, not Napoleon Total War. Empire. I played Napoleon very late. God, Empire Total War could have been so much better. Oh, man. But, I mean... But Napoleon was not as

good, but I still liked it, just for the graphics. The graphics were so great. How dare you. Have you ever played it? I haven't, actually. Play it, and then fucking zoom in on each soldier. It's fucking insane. Well, I played Shogun 2. Shogun 2. Shogun's fucking great. I love soldier. It's fucking insane. Well, I played Shogun 2. Shogun's fucking great. It's the best gunpowder entry of them all is Shogun 2.

For sure. Did you play the campaign for Empire? Yeah. Oh, it was great. I loved it. I mean, like, so, if you were to point, like, there's physical evidence of every battle that has taken place since pretty much

the advent of gunpowder. Right. Zero here. So, my final unfortunate, you know, and I was in the Cav, I was a Cavalry soldier for almost a decade. Yeah, I played with the Cav. If, this is absolutely something I could see them doing. Because Cavalry is Caval cavalry, just like soldiers are soldiers. If you watch shitty fail videos of Russian soldiers on the internet,

they look just like ours. It's captastic. Yeah, and I assume it's the same throughout history. And there's no shortage of drunken shenanigans from soldiers from the 1700s until now. But my final opinion here is this is bullshit. It never happened. I agree with you. Even though I did no

research on this, and I remember you talking about this months ago, eh, still believe it. Because every Joblo would talk about this bullshit. It's one of those popular internet stories that makes its rounds that just simply never happened. There's others of those popular internet stories that makes its rounds that just simply never happened.

There's others like it, uh, not necessarily from military history because it's such a niche that, you know, it's a lot like the,

um, if you Google it, you know, Catherine the Great of Russia died because she fucked a horse. Right. Didn't happen.

That'd be sweet if it did. It would be weird. Uh, it's one of those things that people spread around to discredit their foes which is sweet uh i don't know how you could ever say someone fucked a horse and actually get like generations of people to believe it like could you imagine like if like hamilton and uh like madison who fucking hated each other. Like, you know, he's such a bitch, he fucked a horse. And everybody's like, yeah, checks out.

Checks out. And like, generations later, I'm sitting in fucking high school in 2003. Yeah, and your high school teacher's like, Hamilton fucking loved it. Yeah. He's like, yeah, give me them horse balls. That's pretty much what it boils down to, except, I don't,

I was never taught about the Battle of Konsevi in school, because I was, I was never really taught much about any European history in school. But,

you know, I do remember fondly learning about D-Day, and that's about fucking it. Yeah, because Americans are the triumphant heroes.

But, you know, this is, maybe that can be a thing that we do here is be disentangle historical myths from historical fact.

I don't know. You see accounts of Konsevies, and I love Reddit. Don't get me wrong. Reddit's great. I love Reddit. Reddit's great. Other than all the white supremacist and Donald Trump shit. That's everywhere. It is Ask Historians is a really good page.

Love it. It requires you to actually be a historian. Yeah. And they verify you. But this still pops up in there. Not that the historians verify it. I've never seen it pop up in there, but I do believe it. People ask about it all the time.

I do believe it because I never see it pop up in there, but I do believe it. Because that shit has so many fucking questions. And I love reading all the questions throughout my week. Like, I'll go through it probably every twice a week. And I just go through it. And just a shit ton of questions go through. And I love just reading the comments of the answers. Yeah.

And it's just great to read while I'm at work. And it requires people to cite like you're writing a college paper. Everybody remember. In Turabian. A fake shit a day keeps the work away. And that's how I get through with my red-eye fucking work. So, with that, our next story brings us to not only the United States. Fucking LA.

It brings us to Los Angeles, the City of Angels. We go all the way back to February 24th, 1942. Fuck yeah! Let's do it! A cold night, does it really get cold in L.A.? Not really, no, it barely gets cold. So hypothetically, cold night! No, hypothetically, because people from L.A. think it's cold, but then when you go somewhere else, you're like, L.A. is pretty fucking good right now. That's because you're garbage people.

So tell us about your topic today. All right, so this is on the Great L.A. Air Raid. The Battle of L.A. But it's not. It's not actually a battle. It's basically the Great L.A. Air Raid Which happened in 1942 in February And it's Technically started on the 25th

When the naval When the navy basically said hey Well the 24th is when they started Noting 24th basically they said hey look There's some fucking shit on the radar We got stuff going on 120 miles out

They basically warned the Coast Guard hey, hey, something's coming our way. This is 1942 radar technology. How accurate was that? Not at all. It was like you're playing like fucking Pong, but several layers

above that. I'm pretty sure Pong is way more accurate. Well, Pong's like 40 years older than that. Yeah, pretty sure Pong is way more accurate, because, uh... Well, Pong's, like, 40 years older than that. I don't even know how old he is. Yeah, and Pong only involved the fucking two bars and a fucking dot. I think the radar may have been as well, like... Yeah, but I'm pretty sure I won a lot more than their radar.

Bing! Oh, fuck, the ball hit a fourth time. The Japs are coming! But, uh, so, all this happened, and the Great Air Raid technically began about 2. 2 25 3 o'clock a.m and they started throwing lights up into the air the army and the coastal but why would they believe that this like so why would they believe in some californian pearl harbor taking place on la pearl harbor happened a few months before this. Right. The largest ambush

in American history took place just a couple months ago. A huge sneak attack happened. They attacked the naval and the army facilities up in Hawaii. They killed what? 4,000? 3,000 people? Around that time, yeah, roughly. Just a few days before this, they went up to Santa Barbara and they basically shelled a

oil... The Japanese Navy. The Japanese Navy had a submarine shell the oil fucking industry up in Santa Barbara. So, as you know, the Army, the Coastal Guards, all at that time were on high attention. Fucking trigger happy as fuck. I mean, well, they just saw the worst case scenario in Pearl Harbor. And honestly, I don't blame them for it.

I have a hard time. I imagine I'd be pretty tightly wound. I mean, these aren't blame them for it. I have a hard time. I imagine I'd be pretty tightly wound. I mean, these aren't the dudes that just fought in Hawaii. Exactly. These are some fucking Coast Guard dudes from California. But they know exactly what will happen if, oh, fuck, we're not on our toes. Right. Shit will get fucked up.

Yeah, Pearl Harbor is caught sleeping, and they don't... I can only imagine the kind of op tempo, sorry, the operation tempo of what these dudes were forced to do on their watches. Exactly. Because no commander wants to be the other guy that was caught sleeping. Right. So suddenly the night was torn by sirens and searchlights and swept the sky. Gun crews at their posts and coastlines ready to go. You forgot about the air wardens.

Those motherfuckers. Go ahead and go into a church. So there was these things, uh, these people at the time, they were called air wardens. And this is all up the Pacific Northwest from Washington to Oregon through California and probably for a lesser extent down the East coast as well. They,

their whole job was to try to, uh, usher and guide people towards air raid sirens. They're kind of like a crossing guard for future civilian casualties. They put a fancy hat on, maybe a reflective belt, and just try to usher people into these buildings considered safe. And they were told that same night, and they need to like stop what they're doing because the

Airborne Yeah, Airborne isn't considered a fucking full-time job. No, they were caught off guard. They were told to run out there and start gathering

people up. So, at this time all this shit's going on and it's I feel like we need to shame the Coast Guard unit that did this. It is the 37th Coast Guard

Artillery Brigade. They probably don't exist anymore. They don't. They really don't. Coast Guard doesn't have artillery brigades. Even fucking Army Coastal Artillery is hard to find. They don't exist. They don't exist at all. Around this time, all this shit

was going on. What they believed was that there was a huge formation coming out. Even coastal artillery men and coast guard and army personnel said they saw formations of planes flying over the sky. Nobody gave a single order to fire. Nobody.

We did a lot of research into this. And we don't see anything We looked at first-hand accounts. We looked at the official, the Inspector General report on the Battle of L.A. or the L.A. Air Rape. Nobody, to include a unit, can be pinpointed for giving the order to open fire. And this is pretty important when it comes to anti-aircraft artillery. In a fucking city.

In a huge city. How big is LA? Fucking giant. More than 100 square miles. I would say that. Yes. Because it's huge. And even back then. I mean, this is quite a while. LA's always been massive. Right. Always. So, in order to

underline the importance of the control of the anti-air artillery, we need to underline what exactly anti-air artillery was at the time. Of course, there was the M2 Madus.50 caliber machine gun,

which... Everybody knows that. Which opened the salvo, but then there's also the 1917 water-cold machine gun. Everybody knows that. Which opened the salvo. But then there's also the 1917 water-cold machine gun from World War I. Yes, they even threw that into the air. It's Coast Guard units and fucking, like, your Army National Guard, basically, up on the coast. Right. It's not your full-time Army. Yeah.

You're getting basically your 1917s, your M2's which basically everybody has at the time and then M2's even though modern, I don't know if you want to call them modern day military historians or just modern day military aficionados quote unquote will think of as M2's as the things that are on top of tanks, they're on top of Bradleys, they're on top

of Strikers, they're on top of Humvees but they originally invented anti-aircraft machine gun. You know what? The cool thing about that is that they're really fun to shoot. They are. That's the fun thing.

Just not the headspace. It doesn't exist anymore. It doesn't? No. What the fuck? I'm not anymore. Somebody explain to me that headspace and timing doesn't exist um I may have been in shitty units then

yeah you probably were cause even when I was in back at forehead oh yeah when I was at forehead we did headspace I deployed twice out of forehead

um but one of the more uh one of the larger and more devastating pieces of anti-aircraft artillery was,

you'll be shocked to find out, an actual piece of artillery. It was a 12.8-pound cannon. And these things are what a lot of people think of as, when they think of anti-aircraft artillery, when they're diving towards the ships as kamikazes, and you see those giant brown plumes in the air. Yeah, you see that nice pluff of cloud, which you think is not harmful, but...

Oh, it shreds them. It fucking shreds you. It has the shrapnel and the explosives. If you watch Memphis Bell, Memphis Bell is a great example. If you watch old kamikaze footage from okinawa that's a great example same with the uh the opening scenes of band of brothers they get shredded by right yeah but this is a few years removed from that those are what is known as

proximity fuses um proximity fuses you can tell from the name send out a radio signal that tells when a aircraft is nearby, and it tells a shell that needs to explode. Hence, why you see all those clouds in the air. This is before those existed. So this is all a guessing game around this time. Yeah, this is... At best.

Pretty much. At best. So there's a thing called timed rounds, which required for, what was it, the radio station to tell how far out the plane or the perceived plane to be, radio back how far out they were. And it was up to the gun crews at that point to guess how far it would take them to get from point A to point B. And then they would time their shells with a specified tool to then put in the cannons to fire. And you can imagine the time delay between those two. And actually, we have a pretty good guess of that,

those two. And actually we have a pretty good guess of that because initial inspector general report stated that you had to fire 13,000 rounds to damage one aircraft. Right. Yeah. So, and along with the time fuses, there's also impact fuses, which you can tell by the name are quite a direct hit. Yeah. hit. Imagine some rounds that didn't hit. And, yeah, a good example of this, so when you zero a weapon or an optic in the military, did you ever have an optic? Yeah. Like a red dot or an ACOG?

Yeah, and so when you zero those things, you zero from a couple meters out, a couple dozen meters out. Yeah, 25 meters. Yeah. That's the low qualification rate. When you zero, it's 25 meters. Right. And if you are three inches to the right at 25 meters, you're off by a lot compared to your, what is the, 300 meters is the furthest qualification?

500. 500? Yeah. compared to your, what is the, 300 meters is the furthest, uh, quality came from? 500. 500? Yeah. Imagine that at 25 meters, and then going to 500. Right. You're off by fucking feets. You're off by a lot.

You're shooting in a different grid square. Right. Like, you can imagine what it's like to try to aim these cannons a minute after the radar picks them up. aim these cannons a minute after the radar picks them up. And this isn't like, I don't know, a random European battlefield. This is fucking Los Angeles in 1942 that has not seen combat. So you can imagine the kind of issues that come with round control and fire control. There was no issues because who cared at the time and I'll fuck it we're all all these

rounds are coming back down exactly so the night was torn by sirens search lights went up into the skies and the gun crews were ready around a thousand four hundred thirty three rounds were fired up into the sky can you imagine how much actually hit their target if there was a target and then landed back into your own city you were fucking living in?

That shit sucked. There was numerous reports of people's pretty much everything getting fucked up by descending shrapnel rounds and everything else. So some people said that there were bombs dropping onto the city and there was a baptism of fire, but I'm pretty sure that was their own bombs coming from here.

That's exactly what they were! Exactly. They were seeing those timed rounds and those impact rounds collapsing back into earth Exactly they saw their own baptism of fire In their own city So the artillery men And the coastal guards Coast guards

Coast guards were a thing Coast guards men I'm trying to figure out how the fuck you say coast guards men But I just found out how Seamen I believe there's still semen And they basically said They saw bombs dropping Coast Guardsmen, but I just found out how. So, seamen? I believe they're still seamen. And they basically said they saw bombs dropping and enemy paratroopers falling from the sky.

We believe, well, I believe that's from the fog of war and trigger happy fucking servicemen. And I am forced to agree, because I, um, so my pet theory to kind of exonerate the Coast Guardsmen at the time is that you can imagine being a commander on the Californian coast a few months removed from Pearl Harbor. These dudes are doing hella rotations, 12, 16, 18 hours, not sleeping a whole lot.

Right. 12, 16, 18 hours, not sleeping a whole lot. Right. And I had a personal story of mine where I had been awake for probably 48 hours, 72 hours, something like that. Right. And I was in Kandahar, so not necessarily California. But I swore to God I saw a Taliban stalking through the bush towards my position. Dudes with AKs, they're a little ready. I saw their fucking facial features. I saw everything. And I swear to God, they are coming for us. And I told the dude that was sitting next to me, like, holy

fuck, they're coming. And then before we can make a really dumb mistake and open fire because we're both super sleep-deprived, somebody else did. And which brings me to this phenomenon known as contagious firing. And this may displease a lot of people. It's still a thing. It's totally a thing. It's totally a thing.

So contagious firing will find its way through military formations I have been in multiple firefights where I had no idea what I was shooting at I knew rounds were coming at me from somewhere or maybe but I was shooting anyway

cops do this a lot there was a situation in I believe it was New York City where somebody opened fire, four other dudes opened fire in front of a mag change three or four times, and they jumped about 80 rounds into one guy who didn't have a weapon. What it comes down to is you'd rather be right than wrong, and when someone's pulling the trigger, you have the absolute belief they know what they're doing.

Right. You have that confidence in your own personnel that are on your same team. Right. Why wouldn't you? They're your people. You live and you work with them every day. Why would they do everything wrong? But like we said, nobody ever gave the order to fire.

Exactly. So worst case scenario, I don't know if anybody's ever seen a light shine in clouds before, but it makes some weird shapes. And then somebody opened fire at them. So, yeah, no order was to have anybody fired. Not that we know of. Not that we know of. No order that's ever been published.

Exactly. Although we do not know about it, we don't think it happened. Somebody just fired and then, of course, shit just started going downhill. People started firing up into the sky at what they saw was either a formation or what some people

say is a blimp. Some kind of weather balloon. Or! Or! You know, this is the true story. This is the fucking true story here. Go ahead. This is the true story that the big government,

the NSA doesn't want you to know, and that is it's fucking aliens. That shit is aliens. It's a rescue, goddammit. There is numerous first-hand accounts that there is unidentified flying objects over the city of L.A. Alright, hold on. Let's go into the fucking... And it is proof positive that aliens exist. Several eyewitnesses claim they saw something...

Hold on, motherfucker! There's something up there! While shit was firing into the LA sky, five people were casualties to this phenomenon. They were dead by heart

attacks and other kind of automobile accidents. Yeah. So, three residents were killed by automobile accidents. Two died from

heart attacks just from probably the thought of being attacked. You know what makes more sense than that? Shut the fuck up. Alien heart attack race. I mean, why else would the government hide it? Because Nazi aliens

come down. I mean, people say they saw giant butterflies and flying triangles. They certainly couldn't be lying. They couldn't be. Why would they? What did they have to game? So several people were injured. One radio

announcer ran into an awning and suffered a gash over an eye. Which is hold on, this is even better. A police officer LAPD kicked in a window of a lighted Hollywood store without his right leg. But why? Which all we could

come up with, he was like, it's action boys, and just kicked it. The next thing he saw, he got a fucking... And this is before like modern radio technology, so like, you have to assume they didn't get like some message from dispatch like, the Japs are invading. Time to start kicking in doors. No, all he heard was fucking

all he saw was fucking lights going through the eye like fingers and saw an act of fire. Yeah, all he heard was fucking, all he saw was fucking lights going through the eye like fingers and saw an act of fire. Yeah, LAPD officer fucking O'Brien was like, the Japs are coming,

time to kick in the windows, boys! It's action, boys. Or it's the LAPD, they could've just saw a black dude inside that hasn't yet had his ass whooped.

He's closing the door, he's stealing! Pow, pow, pow! Yeah, so, the toll among the air raid wardens was especially high. Fucking aliens. But they were said to have valor throughout the night. Valor from what?

Valor from what? The Japanese attack. There was no Japanese attack. We don't know that. Actually, we do. We do. But not at this time. I'm a comedian.

Before that. The fucking Japanese said in 1945 we never once flew planes up LA! This is before that. So fucking... calm your horses. You know what- you know who won't calm their horses? The extraterrestrial forces who wanted to become our friends to fight National Socialism. But instead, we all lose 1,400 rounds of 12.8mm cannon rounds. Yeah, all they wanted to do was

anally probe us and whatnot. Just in peace. Just a finger, man. You know, the other theory that makes no fucking sense in the situation is that it was a... Because it's America, you know where this is going. You know where this is going. Fire up your fucking Infowars.com because there's a false flag, ladies and gentlemen,

you read that, Nick, there's a fucking false flag, alright, so these, these, these, these government jets, and mind you, this is 40 years removed from the first operational jet fighter, but these government jets were flying in to test our air radar possibilities. And the Coast Guard fired off 1,400 rounds of ammunition into General Placenti. And these were live rounds. It needs to be pointed out. These were

very well live rounds. Undisputedly live rounds because LA got fucked up by them. But these jets that never saw combat and never had any sort of registered test flight were impervious to these rounds. And that is the fact

because you don't believe, sir. You just don't believe. Other than the minor injuries, one fell from a wall while looking into a lighted apartment and broke a leg. He jumped from a wall? Yes. Looking into a lighted apartment and broke a leg. Wait, he jumped from a wall? Yes.

Looking into a lighted apartment, he broke his leg. So the... I don't know if he was fucking creeping and then the shit started and he was like, Oh, no. Wait, was some LAPD guy just jerking off in somebody's tree? Like, oh, fuck, they're lights out. It was some dude with a cape and he fucking swooshes it over. He's like, my job here is done.

And then he fucking jumps from this wall. It was the tuxedo mask of LAPD rapists. And he falls and breaks his leg. But why? Why would he ever think an apartment with a light on is suspicious? I mean, I understand that. No, we get into the suspicion, so hold on. It gets great. But was there a whole bunch of Japs living there? Hold your horses. I don't have horses, sir. I only have aliens. Hold your dogs.

I need to get those. Another jumped from a three-foot fence and reached a lighted house. Not an apartment. And sprained an ankle. Another fell down his own front stairs and broke an arm. Wait, why was he on top of the fence? Was he perched up there like some kind of shitty bird of prey?

Like Batman. Who knows, dude? We don't know. Batman back then didn't even have more fucking sense than this. We can't ask Adam West. He was really close to that Batman. Well, he's dead, so... How dare you, sir? Possibly. How dare you? Maybe ask the dead. Who knows? I'm gonna have to fire up a tactical Ouija board.

So, There was structural Damage that scattered Across the city It sounds like The fucking first Responder just wanted To get in a kung fu Fight with buildings

I just really Like the fact that One of them probably said It's action It's go time boys And then fucking My time to shine The fucking window

Like It fucked up his own life Yeah There's no evidence to the contrary. It reminds me of the fucking episode of The Office where Andy gets really pissed off and punches his hand through the wall and just screams in pain

because he's like, oh shit, this is fucking sheetrock. So there was structural damage across the city and it failed to explode in the air and they struck the ground, demolishing a garage here and there, a patio and blowing out a tire in the air and they struck the ground, demolishing a garage here and there, a patio, and blowing out a tire in a parked automobile.

Unfortunately for them, none of their insurance policies covered fucking extraterrestrial attack. So the city had met its... False flags, Nick! So the city had met its first taste of war with Valor. What? Valor! I want to know what valor awards

were, because you know they were. You know they were issued out. I just want to know who they were. No, I know for a fact they were, but who knows? For what? I haven't seen anything. So, the Secretary of War tried to save it by saying there were no enemy aircraft in the air at the time, but it was believed

that 15 commercial planes flown by the enemy agents had crossed the city. 15?! 15?! This is 15 commercial aircraft in 1942! That's what, like 40 people per aircraft? So,

from what he says, it's better to alert then, not to alert enough. Oh, please. This is like the 1940s version of the fucking shitty color-coded warning system from 9-11. So, you reenacted

as a fucking paratrooper in World War II. Okay, I reenacted the 1944 invasion of Normandy. Whatever. How many of you fuckers fit on a plane? How many? Yeah. On what plane?

C7. A C7? How about a C47? Whatever. A C47. About 20. 20. So, this is before, pre the age of civilian air travel, for the large scale civilian air

travel. Right. So, best case scenario, they're carrying 20 people. Best case, yes. So, 15 of these, which, quick, do some math. Can't do that. You know what, I can't. That's the public school system. So, a good comparison to this would be the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan in the 80s, 70s and 80s, which was several civilian aircrafts carrying paratroopers. But these were Douglas DC-9s that carried 100 or so people, and there were several of them. But let's just spitball here. Let's throw caution to the wind and say 400 Japanese dudes were going to invade California from the sky.

Is that really something we have to worry about? The funny thing about this, so the Japanese, all that cool shit, they had great formations. They had better aerial formations than our own U.S. formations at the time. They were more advanced. They saw combat in China. Sorry, that would be 300 soldiers. He just did the math right now. To pacify the entire state of California.

I like their odds. I like their odds. I don't know. I feel like, you know, with the entire standing military that we have there at the coast, that 300 dudes has an option there. Fucking ridiculous. So, reports poured in across the city describing Japanese aircraft flying in formation, bombs falling, enemy paratroopers coming from the sky, coming to take them.

And how much evidence of this happening? Nothing. That's right, of this happening? Nothing. That's right, because it didn't happen. It didn't fucking happen! So, and we already have a theory on why it didn't, but we'll get into that later. There was even a claim that a Japanese plane crashed landing in the streets of Hollywood at the time.

Which is fucking absurd. Because there's... It's a whole fucking street in Hollywood. There's a shit ton of people there. People would remember this. This reminds me a little bit of the Orson Welles broadcast of War of the Worlds. You know what? Orson Welles, I love him.

Where everybody, like, the dominating narrative is that people actually thought aliens were invaded when they absolutely didn't. Exactly. So, I love Orson Welles, by the way. Well, not many people don't. He's... I know some people. Inarguable. Well, they're didn't. Exactly. So, I love Orson Welles, by the way. Well, not many people don't. He's... I know some people.

...inarguable. Well, they're bad people. I agree with that. So, the cool thing about this, in L.A., every year around that time, there's a party that takes place. This is one... And, you know, he actually has video of this party. I'll post it on Twitter.

Yes, please. It's a thing. It's really a thing. It's fucking hilarious. So we fucking, as a great country, and as a great state, and as a great city of that state, L.A., we take part, and we celebrate our blunders of the military, and we celebrate every year with a reenactment of the L.A. Air Raid and we dance at a fort that actually shot into the sky in 1942 and fuckin'

party. Yeah, I'm a little disappointed in my own state of Michigan for not doing the same thing

for when we invaded Ohio. Like, we all just get tanked on the fuckin' border and fire guns in the air.

So, at least you're embracing your fuck-ups. No, exactly, and it's great. So,

everybody in the area of California, if you're embracing your fuck-ups no exactly it's great so everybody in the area of california if you're close to southern california please go to the great la air raid it is fucking fun i've seen the videos it looks like a kegger mixed with machine guns which but since they're all firing blanks they can't possibly go wrong exactly so and after parties at the queen mary which is just a few miles down, and the Queen Mary's fucking great to party at. Let's say Queen Mary. It is a troop, it was a old troop ship. It was basically a cruise ship that turned into a troop ship during World War II that

transported troops to England from New York and all that fun stuff, and then got decommissioned, and now it's status in San Pedro Harbor. And then we party in it. That's what I'd do with most museums if I had the choice. Like, I'd really like for us to throw a kegger at the Fort Knox Arbor Museum. Do a fucking keg stand

off a stug. Would you do that at Fort Knox, though? Yes. Ugh. I mean, you just have to worry about, like, 120% of humanity all the time. And another cool thing was there was a movie that was made by Steven Spielberg that not a lot of people know about. I

personally did not know about this movie until Nick showed it to me, and it might be my favorite version of historical revisionism ever made. No, it really is historical revisionism. It is a fucking Spielberg movie starring

John Belusi and Dan Aykroyd. And this is before Ghostbusters. This was in 79? Yeah, so this is before Ghostbusters where all of

the Battle of LA is turned into something that actually happened. So basically the Battle of L.A. has turned into something that actually happened. So, basically, the Battle of 1941 takes part in the Japanese shelling of the oil... The oil refinery. The oil refinery off Santa Barbara fucking coast. And then it goes into the L.A. air raid and it's fucking hilarious. I will I recommend it because I fucking loved it. Rotten Tomatoes says otherwise.

But I thought it was fucking hilarious. Well, I mean, there can be movies that are entertaining but shitty. No, true. Like a good example that fits in to our conversation is Battle LA. The shitty marine movie. I really hope you weren't that fits in to our conversation is Battle LA, the shitty

marine movie. I really hope you weren't going to bring that up. The shitty marine movie when the aliens invaded LA. Unpopular opinion,

I liked it. No, I liked it too, but it has nothing to do with war. You know what? I disagree. I disagree because aliens did it.

Aliens did it, sir. It's almost like it's showing the truth of what actually should have happened. It's a documentary. It's a documentary of what happened. I don't even remember how the movie ends. I do remember that it upset me that they said Bob as F-O-B. Every time?

Every single time. Every time! But it's a documentary, so we have to respect that. So you are fake news, sir. We recommend, well, I recommend the movie 1941 by Steven Spielberg. You will have a fucking great laugh. Yeah, so. I loved it.

To get a good cross-education on this episode, you actually need two computers. education on this episode. You actually need two computers. You set one to Battle LA and you set one to, what is it, Battle 1942? No, just 1941. 1941. That's it. 1941.

And you watch them at the same time while actively punching yourself in the head. And you will thoroughly enjoy 1941 over Battle Los Angeles. At least one of them is John Belushi. Uh, Dan Aykroyd. Dan Aykroyd kinda sucks! Also, in the beginning, you will see a naked bum from a

nice blonde lady, back in the time, on a Japanese submarine. But how? If you watch the movie, you'll find out. So, are you saying that it has a Jaws theme to it cause uh guess what

spoiler alert Steven Spielberg fucking directed Jaws so you're saying you're uh glorifying the use of Japanese

comfort women at the time yes oh rape apologist so in my opinion

I know Joel will have another. What caused the shootout over Los Angeles? The Japanese military later claimed that it had never flown over aircraft around World War II or around the time, providing the fuel and the bizarre, like, bullshit that happens. They didn't have any kind of anything over there. Exactly. I mean, sure, we had intelligence saying they were going to be over there, but we had no proof.

But them flying over the time, they totally deny it. And I believe it. Because they would totally fucking accept the fact that they did it at the time. They had no reason to lie. Exactly. So, you have these bizarre theories involving the government flying fucking jet aircraft or anything. It happened.

It happened. It happened. Boeing was involved. Why do you think Boeing stationed in Seattle? Or flying saucers and extraterrestrials flying over the Los Angeles area around the time? In my most honest opinion, the logical explanation is the trigger-happy servicemen and terrible radar system combined to produce a false alarm over the area. Yeah, I mean, completely seriously, it's probably the, uh, one of a million times this happened over World War II.

It just happened to be one of the few times it happened in the United States. Yeah, and you know what? There were times where, yeah, there are, uh, that, not studies, but shit that happened in New York where they had ACAC on fucking buildings in New York just because they were so scared that the access were in their fucking shit. Which they kind of were in a way. Not through the air. Not through the air, but they were afraid of it because at this time the Battle of Britain was going on. So they said, oh fuck fuck. Guess who's next? Right, because the Battle of Britain

was going so well, they can clearly extend their lines of supply to New York City. I mean, what it comes down to is throw enough caution to the wind, and soon enough, it all just sounds ridiculous. No, yeah, and I believe why they were so nuts.

I'm not saying on the scale of pralines and dick that the dick No, yeah, and I believe why they were so nuts. I'm not saying on the scale of pralines and dick that they're dick. I'm saying they might be vanilla because, I mean, it's like... I can believe their fears. Yeah, absolutely. It's a couple months removed from Pearl Harbor. No one ever thought they were going to be able to strike us in Pearl Harbor. Yeah, and then a few days before this, some shit got shelved just off the coast. Right.

And it wouldn't be the only time. It's riled up, dude. But, I mean, the idea that they're actually going to raid L.A. is kind of absurd.

Oh, yeah, it is. And in the movie, which is pretty funny, Hawaii just said that a Japanese plane crash-landed in the streets of Hollywood.

It was in the movie that it was an American airplane that crash-landed in the streets of Hollywood. Pilot by John Belushi it was an American airplane that crashed landed in the streets of Hollywood. Pilot by John Belushi! The motherfucking Belushi brother himself.

If you get a chance to fucking watch the movie and you will love it. I loved it. Honestly, I've only seen a couple clips because Steven Spielberg would like to eliminate this fucking embarrassment from his filmography, but

it looks ridiculous enough to be as good as Red Dawn. It was so funny. You know, except they're not killing communists, so, you know, whatever. Yeah, they're just killing slant eyes, you know, stuff like that. I didn't even get into the fact that, okay, sorry, I skipped over something. So, yeah, so why

did a whole bunch of Japanese people end up being arrested after this? So, yeah, so why did a whole bunch of Japanese people end up being arrested after this? So, around this time, this was an embarrassment to the Sheriff Department. It needs to be noted, this is pre-internment camps. Right.

If I'm to toe the government line, this is pre- internment camps. Right. Sorry for skipping over, but this was an embarrassment turned into an outrage. Basically, the army shot him into an empty sky, and the FBI rounded up several Japanese

nurserymen and gardeners who were supposedly caught in the act of signaling enemy aviators. Who would have thought the entire Imperial Japanese Air Force was signaled by fucking hedge clippers? Fucking gardeners. Three clips means bomb.

Like, it's fucking ridiculous. I mean, and I know. You pulled that weed. Let's fucking go. Yeah, if you pull the rose weed, that means strafe here. It's so dumb. It's all based in racism. Right.

I mean, granted, only, like only like we keep saying a million times a couple years or a couple years a couple months before was Pearl Harbor but this kind of belief would arch onward until you know Japanese people over the west coast end up in camps right just

because they look different than us clearly they need to be imprisoned. Right. Even though significantly more white, pasty, male-looking motherfuckers end up being agents for the Germans. Like yourself. How dare you ruin my handler. But yes, this happened.

It did happen. There's facts that it happened. There was just no Japs in the air. Racist. Yeah, and I'm surprised because there's never actually been any kind of historical proof that America's been racist. We've always been extraordinary in race relations and progression. Of course. And if you say anything otherwise, you hate freedom.

Basically, no. You're not a patriot. No. Even though we're sitting here, what, 20 miles away from the nearest former Japanese internment camp? Possibly. It never happened it turns out that they uh they just gathered all of our neighbors who happen to be of the asian persuasion to get together in uh retirement homes all right and uh they were just surrounded by barbed wire for the aesthetic yeah america was basically at a case of

jitters and decided you know what? We need to fucking lock these people up. Oh, they want to join the military? Create their own unit. Oh, they're highly respected. Oh, no. They got more Medal of Honor than anybody else in Europe. We should probably bury this forever.

You don't hear much about that, but it happens. That's a time for a different episode. Exactly. Which we will definitely be covering. Of course. So that's our episode for this week. It was a little different. Our last couple have been a little different, actually.

A little bit. But when you've been doing this for a couple months, you kind of got to change the formula to keep people interested. So I tried to put this off as long as possible, but due to how long our episodes are getting with our intros and all of our different files, our hosting price has gone up. Yeah, we're catching our stride, apparently. That's what people keep saying. Which has made our hosting price go up, which means the cost out of pocket has gone up.

So, don't shoot me here. I will be posting a Patreon. tossed out of pocket has gone up. So, don't shoot me here. I will be posting a Patreon. And I will tell you, however, that our hosting prices right now are $50. Every dollar spent over $50 will be put into charity that we will ensure goes to some kind of veterans organization. Uncreditable. Yeah, that is well-respected. It's not going to go to the Wounded Warriors.

No, I totally agree with that. No. I just don't want to make money off this. Our podcast will always be free. I just don't want to lose money on it. I do that enough. I'm a writer. I do that a lot.

If I wanted to lose more money, I would I do that enough. I'm a writer. I do that a lot. If I wanted to lose more money, I would just write another book. I would just throw fire into the garbage and put my fucking money in it. Speaking of which, this podcast that is brought to you by the Old Crow Licker, which is owned by Jim Beam.

Go ahead and tag him on Twitter. My book comes out, The Hooligans of Kandair, comes out August 9th. You can pre-order your... It's a good read. I feel like he is obligated to say that, but I'll accept that.

I'm not obligated. You can pre-order your copy now. You can follow the link and my pinned Twitter page to get a copy. You can follow me on Twitter at jcast99. Sorry, old crowbirds.

You can follow me on Twitter on nickcastm1. And you can follow the podcast at lions underscore bye. Rate and review us on iTunes or whatever other app you use. I know iTunes is the most popular. We will post pictures on the event because they're kind of cool looking.

Oh, yeah, absolutely. I'm going to post all the videos and pictures I can find. I'll even send videos to Joe of the times I was there because I took part in these parties and they were fun. Yeah. And so, sorry, what did they call you in read after circles? They called me the non-American American. Because you're brown. Because I am brown.

And there's not a lot of us in it. And because I have the unpopular opinion of not sucking America's dick every second I can. And that's why he's here at the table with me, ladies and gentlemen. So, with that, we have quite a few more interviews coming your way, hopefully, to include a modern-day veteran and an actual no-shit historian. Oh, fuck! Yeah, like, doctorate-level historian. I hope to make that as soon as possible. So until then...

Our board is fucking ready to go. We have shit ready. It's gonna be great. Yep, yep, absolutely. So, until then, drink old crow. Drink it. Drink it. Tastes like chemistry, but drink it.

Tastes like chemistry and fire. And buy my book so I can at least afford the server prices. And we will see you next week. Later.