Lions Led By Donkeys Podcast - Episode 189 - The Battle of Tarawa
Episode Date: January 3, 2022Fun times with the USMC on the beach! * *your experience may vary Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/lionsledbydonkeys Sources: With the Marines At Tarawa One Square Mile of Hell https://w...ww.historynet.com/remembering-bloody-bloody-tarawa/
Transcript
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Hello and welcome to yet another lovely episode of this podcast that we do.
Lions Led by Donkeys.
It's Lions Led by Donkeys.
WTYP FM radio for some reason.
Oh God, the zoo crew is back.
I don't have enough sound effects for like, I don't know, Joe.
And Leo.
Oh, that's good.
Why do I have the long order noise?
I don't know.
There's only two up here.
The other ones I have is like
the USSR's national anthem and Russian hard bass.
Oh, okay. Can't get rid of those.
I needed like a fart noise
to really harness the 90s DJ energy
that we're going for.
Liam, how you doing today, buddy?
Oh, I'm fucking terrific but outstanding
because we're talking about the Rwandan genocide
today
I'm already in the mood for it
I'm kidding
I'm ready to
learn about the radio stations being
seized
I can promise that's probably
coming summer summer of 2022 uh because i have i am now in a grad course about the rwanda genocide
so yeah look forward to that uh but i'm actually going to talk about something we
honestly don't talk about that often um even though we go back to the world war ii content
mind quite quite regularly because you know it's's only one of the largest armed conflicts of human history.
But the Pacific Theater, specifically about World War II,
we've talked about a little bit.
We've talked about the Japanese soldiers being left behind,
like the stranded ones.
Yeah, that was the first episode I was on.
The first one that you're on i think was
um the first one you're on i think was the torpedoes okay actually also incorrect it was
the jewish adventures yeah yeah yeah um we talked about the unit 731 before that was a i believe a
halloween episode a couple years ago um we. But we haven't talked much about the actual combat of the Pacific Theater.
I don't know how that happened.
Whoops.
My bad.
So today we're going to talk about probably one of the more formative, horrific, and forgotten battles of the Pacific Theater involving the United States military.
And that is the battle of Tarawa.
Um,
now,
uh,
if you've ever watched the Pacific,
which I still hold is better than band of brothers.
This is depicted in there.
Uh,
but oftentimes,
uh,
we don't like to talk about this when we like to talk about,
you know,
Iwo Jima,
Okinawa,
Guadalcanal,
cause they're like triumphant victories,
right?
Midway,
midway,
Coral Sea, um, stuff like that.
Tarawa was also a victory.
However.
Well, you sound convinced.
Yeah.
You know, it's hardly a triumphant victory, but we'll get there.
So I do have to yada yada my way through some of the general Pacific
theater stuff, how we got there.
For instance, when I talk about Pacific Theater of World War II, most people probably remember it for one or two things.
Namely, the nuclear bombs, maybe Iwo Jima, Okinawa, the flag raising, etc.
But the thing that we generally, at least not anymore, you don't see it depicted is just how awful the war was
um this slow grinding war of attrition that the allies it's not your friend no um and specifically
we're kind of talking about the birth of island hopping today what would become island hopping i
guess we could say um now this is because this war was awful. It was a slow, grinding war of attrition, mostly between the United States and Japan, though other allies were involved.
The Commonwealth was involved in some islands, the British more specifically, and Burma, modern-day Myanmar.
in Myanmar, but specifically in the island hopping
campaign that we envision
in the American narrative.
We get some help from Australia and stuff.
That's cool,
I guess. Thanks, guys.
Yeah.
Now, the reason why we
generally don't like to think about
these, specifically the Battle of Tarawa,
is because we were
effectively reducing one another into a soup-like homogenate
over islands so small that
many of them could be measured in literally
the singles of miles.
So
these tiny insignificant
tracts of land would end up becoming the
graveyards of thousands of people
and it's hardly something you can turn
into fun movies
and such. though attempts have
been made bless them yeah now some that stick out are you know like i said iwo jima okinawa
guadalcanal um which at some point we will definitely talk about all of those though
they will probably be significantly more than one episode definitely guadalcanal um but uh like everything in the pacific war the
background of this and japan's imperial ambitions throughout the pacific are tied to the u.s cutting
off their main supply of oil that being us uh for committing unspeakable war crimes throughout china
now we'll obviously go in this a bit more whenever we talk about say pearl harbor
uh but this is the too long didn-didn't-read version.
Of course, this started with attacks on Pearl Harbor on December 7th
and quickly spread throughout the Pacific as the Japanese Army and Navy elements
struck at various European colonial and American holdings,
as well as a few independent nations for good measure.
Hong Kong, Guam, Wake Island, New Guinea, the Solomon Islands,
the Philippines, Singapore, and a few others were all invaded or fell with only a couple of months after the start of the pacific theater by january 1942
there is a legitimate worry that the japanese might invade australia as weird as that is to
believe well they've invaded uh what is the city i'm thinking of? Shanghai. Was there a battle of Singapore?
They invaded Singapore.
Yeah, they invaded Singapore, Hong Kong.
That's not all that far.
Specifically, the Battle of Singapore is very embarrassing,
which will definitely get a series or episode of its own one day.
But, I mean, they invaded Papua New Guinea.
They're right off the coast of Australia.
I was going to go on ahead of the other, yeah.
And not to mention, they bombed Australia
about like a hundred times.
Which I'm sure Australians
listening are like, yeah, no shit
they did, but Americans absolutely
do not learn about this in school.
We're very dumb. It's very much
American-centric and more specifically
European-centric
when it comes to World War II.
And
reading about how realistic these
dreams were invading australia i believe were a victory would have been a pipe dream because i
just don't think japan had the military capacity to do this um but an actual attempt was not like
the imperial navy heavily favored the invasion of austral, but the army thought it was a very bad idea.
And owing to the constant internal bickering between the two branches of the military, which included various political power plays, the occasional coup, and more than one assassination, the army had more political pull at the time.
So the Navy's plans were kind of shelved.
Could you just imagine like japanese military
divisions getting lost in the outback uh yeah it's 900 miles to the nearest airship because
everything is four days from everything in australia uh this is a kangaroo he's your best
pal and your only hope of survival his name is jim good luck to you. If the emus could beat Australia, Japan's fucked.
At this point, Japan's already invaded
a large chunk of China,
which is absorbing
untold amounts of
manpower on top of
invading all of these small islands,
defending the holdings that they
have. The invasion of Australia
is not a realistic thing, though
I would argue so is a realistic invasion of China,ia is not a realistic thing though i would argue so is it a realistic
invasion of china but they attempted that too oh yep uh you know that japan was was definitely
attempting to kirby the pacific and didn't work um now as you can imagine to all these things um
happening so quickly the allies were on a bit of a back foot in the Pacific, and it wouldn't be until mid to late 1942
before they were really able to get their shit together
in order to start striking back.
There were obviously stability operations,
attempting to put defenses in place,
but things were not going great.
Now, these led to victories like at the battle of midway and coral sea which
were kind of irreversible for japan you can't lose that many aircraft carriers and shrug it off
right now like i think we talked about this before like way back late during our kamikaze episode
it's more the accumulation of casualties and defeat more than any singular defeat.
When you can no longer replace all of the fucking veterans and experienced
people you're losing.
Like pilots are hard to train.
Right.
Specifically like naval pilots are hard to train.
Were we talking,
did you guys do an episode where like they shortened the training for pilots
down to like 15 days by the end of the war or something? we talked a little bit about it when we talked about kamikazes
there we go and uh we talked we'll talk a little bit about this more in like a future series i
have planned uh more to do with germany and russia but um yeah they they attempted to short and to
be fair the japanese pilot program was like obscenely difficult when the Pacific War started.
So they just kept chipping away at it and chipping away at it until it's like, fuck it.
You're not going to land anyway.
So here you go, kid.
But yeah, I mean, that accumulation of loss of experience is what really breaks the back of Japan in this situation.
But when it came time to start reclaiming islands
leading to the Battle of Guadalcanal,
part of the larger Solomon Islands campaign,
things kind of got bigger and bigger.
And at this point, there's no longer any way for Japan's going to win.
That ship has sailed.
Their only hope of winning, even if you consider it a hope of winning was
the united states deciding they didn't want any of that smoke after the pearl harbor attacks which
is honestly one of the dumbest fucking military decisions i've ever read oh no but we we wanted
that smoke baby yeah i mean like the the attack on pearl harbor was so egregious that even the like
the the isolationist campaign in the u.s
is like yeah we got nothing on this one fuck them and the the isolationist movement in the
united states was like largely fueled by like uh lindbergh and a lot of anti-semitic people uh
also jfk's dad yeah j JFK himself donated to it.
Yeah, and like, but to be fair,
once Pearl Harbor got attacked,
they're like, yeah, never mind.
We're, go ahead.
Well, USA, USA.
Because it's really, it's really easy.
They're all going to wear your American German bun banners.
Like, it's really easy to be an isolationist when shit isn't getting blown up.
I would say in your backyard,
but Hawaii is a fucking fair distance away from that but still like you the attack killed out what almost 3 000
uh american sailors airmen whatever uh so yeah japan really fucked themselves on that one and
even admiral uh yamamoto was like this is absolutely not gonna work uh but we'll definitely
talk about that more when we talk about pearl harbor. But so far, Japan had a tendency to not meet invading forces on the beach in defense.
They chose instead to allow allies to land and funnel them deeper into whatever island they were landing on to prepare deeper and more complicated kill zones.
to prepare deeper and more complicated kill zones it's hard to argue which of these work better honestly because during world war ii most of the time no matter what island defense or beach defense
you had amphibious landing succeeded um so it really seems to be the the once an amphibious
landing began obviously like the landing at calais comes to mind as a miserable failure.
But like most of the time when you launch an amphibious assault, you have such a buildup of men and material that's like, all right, well, that's two waves down.
Shove six more in there like you're eventually going to win through sheer force of bodies.
Right.
So it's hard to argue which one of these is better.
But they decided that they were going to
have a defense in depth um and this is actually where one of a bit of a historical misnomer comes
from where japanese were like legendary jungle fighters they weren't they actually had no
training in that um and japan doesn't have jungles and most of these kids are from like urban areas or rural farmland. They're not like jungle ninjas.
What it came down to is fighting on the defense is always easier.
And there were like specially trained, like special force units in the Japanese military.
We talked a little bit on our, what do you call it?
Remaining Japanese soldier episode.
There's a bonus episode at the $5 level.
Go get it.
There were hundreds of people,
maybe thousands.
There's not an army division of specially
trained jungle soldiers.
No jungle ninjas?
It just turned out that when you get a whole bunch of Midwest
farm kids who turn into Marines to invade
fucking Guadalcanal,
they're like, oh shit, Hoss,
what is this?
It's very easy to shoot them in the face.
Yeah, fair enough.
But in Guadalcanal,
the Marines met,
the Japanese met the Marines further inland and there were army units in Guadalcanal
as well. I'm not ignoring them, but Marines
get talked about the most.
Kind of like Fallujah.
In this case, we actually won.
Oh, damn.
But there
is some ideas that the Japanese
did intend to resist the
landings, but they were just
like a fuck-up of intelligence.
And there were some outlying islands
that did resist
landings, but it was an uncontrolled,
uncoordinated way.
However, it was an unorganized defense of the beach.
That would change with the Gilbert Islands campaign of 1943,
and holy shit would it change.
Now, I do have to talk about the Gilbert Islands a little bit
because there's a good chance that you probably have no idea
where they are, what they look like, and how small they are.
They're the South Pacific.
Sure. That's all I know. Okay, I'm look like, and how small they are. They're the South Pacific. Sure.
That's all I know.
Okay, I'm done.
Have a good podcast, Joe.
They're virtually in the middle of nowhere.
They're a small chain of atolls and coral islands,
several thousand miles between Papua New Guinea and Hawaii.
So truly the middle of fucking nothing.
Yes.
Now, nowadays, part of them make up the nation of
kiribati which i promise you if you look at how this island nation is spelled you will not believe
it's pronounced that way i was going for kiribati so admittedly i only know it's pronounced this way
because of the geography now youtube channel shout out to that guy uh for helping me with this one
really led me into a wormhole um Now, the Gilberts were and are
tiny, tiny specks of
islands.
Now, the reason why they're important
is because of war. They're literally
not important for any other strategic reason.
These various islands
that the Japanese controlled acted as something
of defensive perimeters for
other islands they controlled.
By invading and taking over the
Gilberts, the Allies could then open up
the Marshall Islands, which in turn would open up
the Marianas Islands.
This is where island hopping comes from.
Man, this sucks.
These are islands that are so small
they literally are only important because
if we were to sail an invasion...
Because we could slap an airstrip on it.
Meh. Kind of small for that. There slap an airstrip on it. Meh.
Kind of small for that. There was an
airstrip, but it's real small.
Sure. Now, the reason
why the Marianas were important was
the airstrip, not the Gilberts.
Because the Marianas were so close to
Japan, they were within bomber range
with an airstrip. So, of course,
we wanted that. Now, the reason
why the Gilberts were important
was to invade other islands.
The Gilberts themselves were useless.
Now, to set up forward bases
capable of supporting operations in the mid-Pacific
to, say, the Philippines, into Japan,
the U.S. wanted to take the Mariana Islands.
The Marianas were heavily defended,
and naval doctrine of the time,
and honestly, probably today as well,
would hold that
in order for these amphibious
assaults to succeed, land-based
aircraft would need to be required
to weaken the defenses and
protect the invasion force.
Now, the nearest island
to support those
were again, not the Gilberts, but
the Marshals.
Taking the Marshals would provide the base
needed to launch offensives into the Marianas.
But the Marshals were cut off
from direct communication with Hawaii
by a Japanese garrison and very small air base
at the western side of the Tarawa Atoll
in the Gilbert Islands.
That meant for all of this to succeed,
they would have to take the tiniest fucking island the US
would fight a battle on probably
ever and
the most annoying order
to receive it's just like fuck it just turn it into
glass now I need to
point out just how small the
Tarawa Atoll is
it is only 11 square
miles total god damn but
the majority of the battle would not take part on the Tarawa Atoll.
The battle gets the name Tarawa because that is the bigger part of what the island is actually part of.
So that is the Atoll bears the battle's name.
But it would take place on an even tinier island called Batio.
Now, Batio is only two miles long mind you and
at its widest is 700 meters it is entirely flat uh with train mostly of rocks and coral
and like a lot of it is completely unusable. Now, I say about two miles long
because it's more like a high one mile.
It has been compared to the same size as Central Park.
Okay.
Now, if this sounds like a custom-built kill zone,
you're pretty much right.
And to make things worse,
the Japanese had an idea
that the Americans were going to attack
bateo uh in august of 1942 colonel evan carlson and the now legendary macon island raiders
raided the other side of the gilberts on macon atoll uh so other than this being mostly a victory
for the americans it did let the japanese know like, oh, fuck, they know we're here. They're going to come
back. They're going to invade us. Something's going to happen.
Yeah. So that
meant they needed to dig into
Bateo. So on February
1943, the Japanese set the
6th Yokosuka Special Naval Landing
Force as well as the 7th Sazubo
Special Landing Force to
reinforce Bateo Island.
Now, these islands are sometimes called Japanese
Marines, despite that not actually being
a thing that existed
to make things easier, because they had special
landing forces and they also had landing
forces. The Japanese Imperial
Navy and Army was really into different titles
for very small units.
Now,
if these guys are better or worse
than a normal Japanese imperial army conscript um
it is really up for debate because you read some things say the special landing forces are much
better the better led um they're more in uh they have more morale so they don't retreat
uh but then you read other reports like they actually kind of suck at attacking things because they're purpose-made amphibious landing units, literally in their name, right?
Right.
And most of the time they were used invading undefended islands or islands with very small garrisons, say like Wake Island, which was defended with almost as many civilians as it was Marines.
And other times they'd invade parts
of china and just get dusted uh like they didn't they did not have a great um reputation though
for defenders like i already pointed out defending makes you look like a goddamn hero most of the
time so in the when you see when you see u.s sources writing about them they'd call the special
landing forces which their name would then be changed like Special Defending
Force.
Would be like, oh, these guys are the best
the Navy has to offer.
They weren't.
And also they weren't like purpose-built.
Japanese SEALs, but it's literal SEALs.
Oh, that's just cute.
Or like a.50 cal.
My favorite technical.
Also, they weren't like marines like the
marines in the navy a wall one branch like the marines are separate right in the u.s in the in
the japanese imperial navy these guys especially landing force sometimes called japanese marines
were just sailors picked for landing duty like they were they were given very cursory infantry training like
there you go sport um are you a real soldier now get out there but they did have a different
uh command structure than the japanese imperial army which is going to be incredibly top heavy
and not so good at small unit leadership which despite all of the problems that the u.s military
has is one thing that they actually are good at is small unit leadership, which despite all of the problems that the U S military has is one thing that
they actually are good at a small unit leadership.
Um,
and the special landing forces were,
were better at that.
Allegedly.
We're not ready for you to praise the U S military.
It's a small unit leadership.
I'm,
I'm honestly only helping myself there.
Cause one of those was me.
Oh,
that's right.
No, buy his book. Hooligans. Oh, that's right. No, I was going to say, buy his book.
Hooligans are good.
Well, especially back in the day, the U.S.'s reliance on non-commissioned officers was pretty unique.
Oh, gotcha.
Most militaries are super top heavy with officers commanding everything.
Right.
And the U.S. is more of like, do what you want which worked really well uh until it
didn't um sure uh another thing that was put in a place is japanese rear admiral keiji shibasaki
i think uh now he's yeah nailed it fucking tag that one up there he was a veteran of several
amphibious landings during his tour of duty in china and and i say successful because
he didn't die um because there's all the success we need yeah i mean honestly when it comes
amphibious landing sometimes to be like a grizzled veteran just means you didn't die like everybody
else it sucked real good yeah great beach running kid uh now they put him in charge uh because you
know hypothetically if you're trained to do amphibious landings, you know really well how to reject one, right?
There would be no defense in depth on Beto Island or BTO Island like the Japanese had been doing.
Now, there's a very good reason for that.
There was simply no room to do that.
You only had, like, so many feet of beach to fight over before you're just on the other side of BTO Island.
They would have to defend every inch of the beach and every inch of the island.
I'll fucking one and a half miles of it behind it in an attempt to bleed the Marines white.
There was no intention of winning this battle.
They knew it was going to be impossible, but their goal was to simply kill as many as you
can maybe they'll fuck off but at least we'll buy some time right sure now unfortunately for the
invading marines he was also an engineer by trade uh so he put his trade and skills to use placing
14 coastal defense guns dug in and concrete firing positions building 500 pillboxes out of logs and sand because he didn't really
have any materials to work with.
He scattered 40 different pieces of
artillery around the island and reinforced
firing pits and all this is
linked together by trenches and defensive strong
points and all of them were linked
by running points.
A trench couldn't be cut off from another trench
meaning runners could always
get back and forth for supplies, medical stuff.
They also could lay communication wire.
Not that that would matter much, but we'll get there.
Now, there's also like 14 Type 95 light tanks that he had at his disposal, which are terrible tanks.
Legitimately the worst of World War II
we dog on the Imperial
Japanese military often on this show and it's because
they deserve it and specifically their tanks
were comically bad
they were very bad
I actually got to see one in person
very very up close here
and oh my god
they're so small
I'm taller than it tracks up almost
you're what five five oh yeah a solid four three yeah
um they were very underpowered virtually no armor um like an infantry squad could very easily
kill this tank
without a anti-tank specific weapon is how weak it is oh damn yeah um like a heavy machine gun
can puncture the armor oh okay yeah it's real real bad that's bad yeah uh now the japanese knew
uh that their tanks sucked like they didn't see tanks is very important they saw them as
specifically an infantry support platform
which is true however you do need to make it survivable when it comes up against i don't know
a guy with a 50 caliper machine gun or another tank they neglected that part but they knew their
tank sucked so they used them as dug in and placed weapons which is unique they i believe they
actually did the same thing later on in iwo Jima. But there was more than just Japanese defenses built into this island.
The defenses went all the way to the beach, and then they built seawalls, which were not there before, to make landing very, very hard.
On top of those seawalls, they built heavy anti-boat machine guns slapped right there on the beach.
There was no place for marines to
land it butted right up against the sea walls which were mined and barbed wired and full of
machine guns now the reason why the japanese yeah this would normally be a very stupid idea
because you just have an exposed position out there but the reason for this was the
island was kind of uninvadeable well if it's that small
one would think right um there was a 500 meter thousand sorry 500 meter wide 1000 meter long
shallow reef that surround the island's north which is where the invasion was going to come
from which was so well known for fucking up boats during the wrong tide
that the Japanese had to build a really long pier
just to get around it.
Also, there were several Japanese boats
stuck in the reef
that they just abandoned,
which they also then turned into
machine gun platforms.
This is no secret.
But now, Shibazaki looked over all of these defenses and told his men, machine gun platforms. Sure. Um, this is no secret. Um,
but now Shibazaki looked over all of these defenses and told his men,
quote,
it'll take 1 million men,
100 years to conquer Tarawa.
Now that was not true, but facing him,
Shibazaki would have the largest American fleet ever assembled up until that
point,
which included 17 aircraft carriers,
12 battleships, 66 destroyers,
plus 36 different types of transport
carrying the entire 2nd Marine Division,
as well as parts of the U.S. Army's
27th Infantry Division.
Now, the United States had over 30,000 men
arrayed to invade the Gilberts,
which gave them a 10 to 1 advantage over the Japanese
invaders. And also
more of a population than exists
today on those islands.
I think the
island like Tarawa itself has
like a population of 17,000
today. How do you
that's still like a lot of people.
It's very, very dense.
Yeah.
But that doesn't mean the U.S. was exactly enthusiastic about the concepts of this invasion.
Now, a lot of this comes from the writings of Norman Moises.
Might be pronouncing your name wrong.
Sorry, bro.
He was a Marine part of the invasion force, which had the codename Helen.
which had the codename Helen.
Now,
he got to sit through the
rousing speeches that officers
give out and stuff. He was specifically
an Amtrak crewman.
Not
that kind of Amtrak.
I was going to say, I wasn't forward until
71, so...
Laying down track all the way to the beach from
Philly. Well, let's go you guys have
tickets you guys have tickets i'm gonna get on the portland to fucking beto island amtrak
cafe cars open bitches let's do this uh so an amtrak was uh an amphibious tracked vehicle
um that's much lamer it's honestly even lamer than that. They're known for being horrible, unreliable pieces of shit back then.
Even worse today, honestly.
Obviously, newer versions exist.
They exist now mostly to break down and drown Marines occasionally.
But it looked like a normal armor personnel carrier, though if it fucked a boat.
And it could very, very
slowly make its way through rough
ocean water.
And they were good for climbing over obstacles
on the beaches and stuff like that.
Gotcha. Now, that's what
his job was. Norman was
an Amtrak crewman. Now, he
said, quote, several days before the landing, our
small group was called together and informed that there would be approximately 80% casualties among our Amtrak crewman. Now he said, quote, several days before the landing, our small group was called together, informed that there would be approximately 80% casualties among our Amtrak
people.
Our group went quiet,
too quiet to break the spell.
I put an armor on our corpsman,
which is what Marines call medics and said,
quote,
I'm going to be sorry to see you go fella.
And then everybody burst out laughing,
including the corpsman.
So yeah,
expectations were not high.
Now, like
most amphibious landings, the Americans
opened fire early in the morning
with a heavy air raid
over the island, as well as a
sustained naval bombardment.
Now, according to Norman,
as well as the movie
with the Marines at Tarawa,
there's around 4 million pounds of explosives
dropped on this tiny island.
Fuck.
Though it doesn't have too much of an effect.
Now, the reason for this is because
that the Japanese didn't have many building materials
on the island,
they just dug down really fucking deep,
which turns out is really all you need to do.
The bombardment did do something that would fuck up the defenses,
though I can't see any stretch of the imagination where this succeeds
if this doesn't happen.
And that is, despite doing all of this reinforcement, all this digging,
the Japanese actually neglected to bury their
network cables very
deep for their radios.
So when the
island gets shelled and bombed, it severs
their communication lines.
We did one thing, right? Yeah, it's kind of like
an important thing to
sleep on, in my opinion, but whatever.
Now, this forced the Japanese
to use runners uh as you
know we've talked about before it's just a dude with a letter um a letter if you're lucky sometimes
i know the japanese were very very worried about uh having runners intercepted because they would
rely on runners a lot especially in china um it's one of the reasons that their military just
incredibly weirdly advanced and also strangely backward at the same time during the same war.
That a lot of times small units didn't have radios, so they would have to use runners.
But they were so paranoid about runners being intercepted, having letters taken.
Runners would have to memorize what their officers told them meaning you're playing combat telephone right and
hoping that they uh remember it yeah exactly so i mean hypothetically speaking all these units are
connected via their trench system anyway so you can easily run runners back and forth so this led
to a slowdown of information rather than a total failure at least for now now the bombardment was called off 10
minutes before the marines packed into what are known as higgins boats which are the vast majority
of them are packed in as well as m tracks we're supposed to make landfall now a higgins boat is
what everybody has in their head when i say amphibious landing it's the boat from d-day
yeah yep it's the boat from d-day um, Higgins boats were not good for the Pacific.
They were okay for Europe.
The reason for this, we'll get to that point,
is they need a fair amount of water in order to work.
Now, the Amtraks would be the first wave, though.
And the reason why the Barma was called off 10 minutes before
was because it was putting out a lot of smoke
and so much smoke
that the pilots of the Amtraks and the Higgins
boats couldn't fucking see where they were going
so they had to call
off yeah
whoopsie doodle you know that's the one that
problems with smoke screens is
nobody can fucking see
they don't know what we're doing
how can they possibly know what we're doing
some like 4D chess amphibious landing brain thinking there Nobody can fucking see them. If they don't know what we're doing, if we don't know what we're doing, how can they possibly know what we're doing? Exactly.
Get some 4D chess amphibious landing brain thinking there.
So they call it out and wait for the wind
to pull away the smoke.
Now, if you're wondering,
well, couldn't that just mean the Japanese
can see them coming?
Yes.
Yes, it did.
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
It's to strike fear into their hearts as what make eye contact as we slowly get mangled on your beach defenses.
Hey guys, we're here to invade.
So remember those reefs that we talked about?
Yeah, those are going to become very important.
Oh no. Now the US knew about them and they simply assumed, based on their tidal charts that they had,
that the water would be deep enough for the Higgins boats to make it ashore.
Well, it turns out sometimes, regardless if you have tidal charts or not,
tides are kind of unpredictable,
and they were way lower than they were supposed to be.
Now, this also was not an unforeseen problem,
because they had been warned ahead of time by a New Zealand liaison officer who was familiar with the tide pattern on the Beto Island area and said, it's always lower than you think it is.
Right.
And they said, fuck you.
Yeah.
Fuck you, Kiwi.
I forgot they were Kiwi.
Sorry, our New Zealand listeners.
So they ignored him
and the invasion went ahead
and those reefs would...
Well, I don't know if blood is good for a reef,
but if it is,
these fuckers are probably immortal now.
Now, as the Amtrak,
which were the first wave, began to approach the beach, the Japanese actually held their fire until they were about 50 meters from the beach, waiting so long that the Marine with the...
So there's a very, very good video called With the Marines at Tarawa that I'm not going to encourage anybody to go watch because it's very graphic.
that I'm not going to encourage anybody to go watch because it's very graphic.
So it's where we get, honestly,
some of the most jarring footage
of the American side of World War II
because this guy was a Marine
and he's taking incredibly graphic footage of Marines.
It was so graphic that it was refused to be released
until FDR himself signed off on it.
Wow.
So the cameraman who was filming Marines at Tarawa during the invasion assumed like other battles,
the Japanese had simply retreated further inland and they would land unopposed at the beach.
Like that's what the narrator is saying in the video.
Right.
Marines are like smiling on the Amtrak and shit.
Oh no.
Yeah.
Or another thing is, remember, they just bombard them with 4 million pounds of explosives.
Like, maybe the bombardment killed them all.
Fuck it.
We don't know.
Well, some rules didn't happen.
Then the Japanese infantry or Marines, whatever, opened fire when they're only about 50-ish meters away, tearing into the first wave of Amtrak's.
Amtrak's are not heavily armored
because remember they have to be able to float right uh now the amtrak's kept moving forward
attempting to dislodge their troops but they were stopped by the sea walls which they did not have
the ability to climb over and then behind them became came the wave uh waves of higgins
boats now the higgins boats need about four feet of water in order to draft but they need
five feet in order to turn the tide on this particular day was three feet so that meant
as soon as they got into the uh the area of operations the higgins boats hit the reefs and
got stuck now the Japanese kind of had
an idea something like this would happen,
and they had sent divers out there to plant
mines all over the reefs, as well
as barbed wire in the shallow water,
which also had more mines on it.
So, the Higgins boats stuck
in the reefs triggered the landmines that the
Japanese had placed. This forced other Marines
seeing this happen,
like, oh dear fuck, we need to get out of here jumped into the water which was about chest high for
most of them attempting to dislodge their higgins boats from the reefs like shaking them loose all
while they're being shot at i remember thousands of machine guns and artillery um all while remember
i don't know if you've ever been in a reef before,
a coral reef. Incredibly sharp.
Yes, it hurts.
So these people, these guys are getting torn to
shit by barbed wire that's in
the reefs, the reefs themselves,
and gunfire. All while
weighed down by 60 pounds of gear.
Now, they realized
they cannot knock the Higgins boats
loose. So they decided they'd have to wade to shore, which was at this point about 700 meters away.
Oh, fuck that.
Now, and remember, chest high, you can't run.
You're being torn to shreds by the Reeves, the barbed wire, the, uh, the landmines, machine gun,
rifle fire cannons are tearing through everybody.
Now at this point,
the Amtrak set got to the seawall began getting blown up,
set on fire and disabled because they're now a sitting duck.
The ones that made it through to get stuck on the first wall of seawalls
couldn't make it over creating something of a traffic jam of dead, destroyed vehicles on top of a growing number of bodies.
Not to mention all of the Marines that were dying just behind them in the reef.
Now, noticing how bad off the Higgins boats were, the Amtrak guys kind of turned into the heroes of the story and decided,
fuck, we cannot leave these guys to wade through
that water. They kicked out all of their infantry to take cover behind the seawall, which was
literally their only cover, which was still in the water. And they turned around and drove back out
into the reefs to try to pick up these guys that were wading to shore. Now, at this point, the
Higgins boats are completely fucked
and the Amtrak's are the biggest targets out there,
leaving them becoming a gigantic magnet for fire.
Right.
The same guy I was talking about before,
Norman, was in one of those Amtrak's
and said,
quote,
I told Bro,
which is a nickname for one of his crewmen,
to stop along two Marines
whose rifles were held at port arms
wading through water towards
the beach. I told him to get on board and
we'd take them to shore. Both look
frightened. The one that appeared
to be leading said, quote, no.
I again told them to get
aboard the Amtrak and this time he yelled,
get that fucking thing away from me
because there's drawing so much fire
they figured they were safer in the
reefs than in the Amtrak.
Fuck that, dude.
Oh, fuck all of that.
Nope.
Yep.
And soon, so many Amtraks and Higgins boats were stuck in the reef or destroyed.
They created an obstacle for more reinforcing waves to come in.
Soon, Amtrak drivers had no choice but to run over the dead and dying who were caught in the barbed wire in the reefs,
creating a corpse pier.
What a phrase.
Thank you, Joe. You're welcome.
Unfortunately, that tends to come up quite
often in the history of warfare, where they're like,
corpses are a road now.
It happened again.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Marines trapped in this nightmare
found out a really bad
thing about salt water and electronics and that is their radios wouldn't work right because the
vast majority of marines had to jump into the water even the ones that had come to shore and
survive the amtrak journey were pretty much sitting in a pool of water behind the sea walls
so they couldn't contact the fleet to tell them what was happening or contact air support.
This was made worse than one of the supporting ships that was supposed to come close to shore to act as a relay.
Yeah.
Four of these fired their 16 inch guns and then somehow had them traversed in such a way and knocked out their own comms array.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Oh, it's a comedy
of error or tragedy of errors
yeah yeah yeah
the phrase that comes to mind
soon more and more waves hit the beach
getting pinned down behind the long seawall
or lost out on the
on the reefs creating a bigger and bigger
literal dam of corpses
with so many people
they were running out of places to hide. Soon, men
were having to take cover behind other men,
and three or four ranks of
people were piled behind single rocks.
Other people had no choice but to hide behind the
dead.
The first attempts to get tanks to shore
ended with their Higgins boats, you guessed
it, stuck in the reefs.
Finally, landed
Marines got organized under the command of Colonel David Shoup.
Funny last name, but also a future commandant of the Marine Corps.
Now, Shoup was involved in the planning of this battle,
but had not been originally meant to lead any part of it during the invasion.
That was left to a guy named Colonel William Marshall.
But then Colonel Marshall had a nervous breakdown
overlooking the plans right before the invasion.
Fair enough.
Which, yeah, sure.
Then General Julian Smith promoted Shoup,
and this would actually be Shoup's first ever time in combat
or commanding anything ever.
Good for him.
I'm talking like the president.
Good luck to you.
To be fair, he hit the beach like a boss
he immediately ordered like
organized what he had
into a cohesive whole
to include like units were so
shattered and lost that like
one got nicknamed the orphans
because it was a unit like slapped together
by some lieutenant made up of marines
from other units
and now as soon as he stormed
ashore, he got wounded twice,
catching shrapnel in the leg and getting shot in the
fucking neck.
But he just kept on
going because, you know, sometimes
death is more of a suggestion.
Now he
finally organized a breakout
from the seawall to get an
assault further into the island,
more just to make room for more Marines.
Because there were so many people on this tiny sliver of cover,
there was nowhere to go.
Right.
Now, finally, some armor support finally made it to shore
when the first Sherman tanks triumphantly appeared to support the Marines
and then flipped and fell into a shell crater in the beach.
In other places, smaller Stuart tanks released too early and sank.
Then another got hit by a rocket,
taking its cannon out and reducing it to a mobile pillbox.
Now, at the end of the first day of fighting,
only one tank that made it to shore would still be operational.
What's better than none, I guess.
Unless you're one of the tankers, honestly.
That sounds miserable. Like, we're going to the beach.
Why is everything wet? Fuck.
I just wanted to go home.
From this precarious
position, General Julius Smith,
Radio General Holland Smith,
no relation, mid-afternoon
stating successful landings
on beaches Red 2 and 3
toe hold on red 1 the situation
is in doubt by the end
of the first day the Marines hit a tenuous
hold on all three landing zones
designated 1 2 and
3 now they are corralled onto
these very very very
narrow beaches and
no unit had penetrated more than
70 yards inshore oh shit now by nightfall being
driven back into the sea was legitimate threat if the japanese managed to throw together an
organized counter-attack which was coming not to mention marines described the weather of tarawa
of like being in a sauna, a tropical Island, uh,
like that was pushing nearly a hundred degrees of nearly as much humidity.
There was not nearly enough water to go around and men were passing out
right and left from heat stroke and exhaustion after only a few hours of
fighting.
Like when the things that,
uh,
Amtrak crewman remember it was,
when people running to their their vehicles when they'd come
to shore, what they assumed were
evacuating wounded, they were desperately
asking for water.
Oh, God.
They were trying to ferry some
people out from the combat
zone onto the Amtrak back to
the fleet that they were wounded, but it was
slim fucking chances, man.
There is a very rare chance an Amtrak is making more fleet that they were wounded but it was slim fucking chances man there is a very rare chance
an Amtrak is making more than a one way
trip
that is the one time
I will say that
probably luck more than anything
depended on
completely turned the case of the entire
battle hey what an ugly still winning
baby that's true that's true
and I say that because
the marines on the beach remember no more than 70 yards onto the island where grace with quite
possibly the biggest stroke of luck in all of military history by the end of the first day
of fighting the japanese commander was getting pretty pissed about how slow his flow
of information was getting because you know his comms wires were fucked up and it was based on
some dudes sprinting through a combat zone and playing telephone while trying not to die
not the best way to send and receive messages and to be fair i can't imagine a situation where he
could order a quick and decisive counter-attack if he hoped that the system was going to work he would
have to get closer to shorten his line of command so he ordered his entire command staff to pick up
stakes and move closer to the fighting this would shorten the distance for runners and it could give
him the needed edge on this decisive moment of the battle that is it could have if at the same time he and his
entire command staff were out of the bunker and moving toward the new spot a u.s destroyer nobody
is sure which one lobbed a shell directly into them killing them all immediately oh
that works there is absolutely no way the gunners on the ship could have known
what they were shooting at meaning they fired what has to be the luckiest shot in human history
completely obliterating the entire japanese command structure on the island in seconds
through sheer dumb luck now pretty much everybody agrees that shibazaki's next move was to launch a bonsai charge down the
beach that probably would have destroyed the invasion of tarawa or come very close obviously
there were still tens of thousands of men in reserve another wave would have just come i'm
not saying that they would have won right um maybe we would have been
like all right maybe this island isn't worth it but probably not um going off of what normally
happens in situations like this and would occur more later on the war a bonsai charge is certainly
coming and most people they think of a bonsai charge in their head they're thinking samurai sword wheeling screaming uh yeah a melee assault or
whatever and it's more accurate to think of as more directly a frontal counter-attack than anything
to do with swords granted the officers would have swords but more often than not they used firearms
uh because they weren't stupid yeah fair enough fair enough. Instead, with Shibazaki
dead and literally every
other regimental commander
dead too,
there was just no command structure anymore.
And there was no counterattack.
Japanese soldiers just sat in their
bunkers doing what they were last told, which
was holding and defending, waiting
for orders that would never come.
From this point on, each Japanese unit and each Japanese position would act completely independent in its own isolation from a greater command structure.
At this point, the battle is over.
Now, by the end of the first day of the 5,000 Marines put ashore, 1,500 were casualties, either dead or wounded.
Jesus.
Mostly dead.
1,500 were casualties, either dead or wounded.
Jesus.
Mostly dead.
From that point forward, the Marines moved steadily further inland because the organized defense is kind of dead at this point.
Now with fresh supplies and reinforcements,
they were able to call in naval and airstrikes
on the hundreds of pillboxes and trenches they came up against,
slowly chipping away at the advantages that the Japanese had on the beaches.
The Marines also landed several mortar units and their own artillery as well.
So the amount of fire now being put out accurately on the Japanese is not something that they can overcome.
Right.
Now, there was still hundreds, if not still a thousand more Japanese dug in at various points of the island.
So the advance was still
incredibly deadly. There was almost nowhere for Marines to hide. Remember, like I said,
it's effectively just a flat barren island. There's palm trees and stuff, but they'd all
been cut down to make in the pillboxes or blown away by the literal millions of pounds of
explosives that had been dropped on the island. There was virtually nothing for Marines
to actually use for cover other
than other captured Japanese defenses
which they would also be surprised whenever
they jumped down inside to find Japanese
people hiding in there when they
were way behind their own
lines. Yeah. It's gotta be
a mindfuck. They were effectively
forced to walk
uncovered through a barren moonscape
uh and like hope
that they didn't get shot and whenever
you look at footage from marines at
tarawa you'll see like
five people crowded behind like a tree
log collapsed in the open because it's the only
thing to hide behind uh most of the
marines are just like kneeling out in the open
right
now another problem uh the marines are just like kneeling out in the open right now another problem uh the marines
ran into were japanese soldiers who had been buried alive within their bunkers from the
bombardment and i don't mean buried alive as in they're like they have to go rescue these men
um because that doesn't happen now that sounds fucking nightmarish and it was but the the
soldiers buried inside were buried so
deep that there was air pockets and they were still able to fight oh no that nope nope nope
nope nope nope nope don't like that so there would be like mounds uh or collapsed uh bunkers
and stuff that still had a fighting hole sticking out of them and japanese people shooting out of
it and the marines had no fucking way to assault the subjective because there's no way in and they're
like 20 feet underground so you can't just like put a satchel charge on top of it they'll still
survive they just survived getting hit by a fucking naval cannon or whatever so they had to
land bulldozers on the beach and literally dig them up while fighting like you
can see you can in the video you can see bulldozers pulling things apart and like a marine with like
a pistol peering in like every time they'd shovel up a chunk of dirt they'd have to cover it with a
gun because they didn't know when they were actually going to hit the air pocket where the
japanese soldiers were hiding that That is fucking terrifying.
In other cases, they would call in bulldozers to collapse them more
and hopefully just suffocate them,
because they're not going to fight over every piece of dirt on the island.
But BTO was so small that when the actual frontline defenses were broken,
there wasn't really much left for the Japanese to do.
There was no room for defense in depth.
There was no room to maneuver, regroup, and launch a counterattack.
So they just rapidly broke down.
So instead, on day three, November 23rd, at around 4 a.m., the Japanese decided to launch their last hurrah at the Marines with a 300-man bonsai charge.
Now, this one mostly was a hand- hand affair because they had to run out of
ammo at this point.
Sure.
Nearly all of them were killed though.
Like most bonsai charges,
there's parts of it that are weirdly successful and like snap through a,
a weak part of the,
of the link that makes up defenses.
And there was like some bayonet wielding
soldiers that made it all the way through the front
line and then like ended up next to the cooks
and like near the rear
and like they like
put down their soup and gun these guys down
right quick like
hold my goddamn fucking
ladle or whatever
the worst part of this is he
bled into a perfectly food-safe bucket.
It's still good. It's still good.
Everybody just has cholera now.
Hope you guys like human being soup.
Don't worry.
It's just borscht. Don't ask
where I got all the red from.
One of the last Japanese strongholds
was a bomb-proof blockhouse
garrisoned by around 100 men.
And if that sounds crazy all
these guys packed into a very small small area it was taken out by about 21 people uh now a guy
named lieutenant alexander bonnieman jr led a very very small detachment of around 21 marines where
they flushed them out of this bomb-proof blockhouse by throwing in a satchel charged through its breathing hole,
which caused them all to run out,
where Lieutenant Bonnyman and a machine gun were waiting for them.
That'll do it.
Yeah.
Bonnyman was wounded in the exchange
and ended up getting the Medal of Honor.
But I really don't like referring back to something
that has nothing to do with this,
but it's like that scene from Band of Brothers.
It's like, it's a whole other company.
They're just coming over the hill
because they assumed it was like 30 people in there or something.
Right.
And there's 100 people ran out.
And so Lieutenant Bonnyman ordered his men to retreat
and he covered their retreat and died.
But they also
took out the last organized
position. RIP to a real
one.
He's actually buried here in an area called
the Punchbowl, which is not its real name.
Like the Veteran Cemetery.
Wherever they find
unclaimed remains
or like, because a lot of time um when uh like all these marines
died they would be buried on the island well it's actually a pretty relatively new thing for bodies
to be brought home for burial right um and uh he was buried in one of the graves there and then
eventually disinterred and brought here i think he was then disinterred again and brought home.
I don't remember.
So by the time this tiny island was declared secured on the 23rd of November of the Japanese garrison of 3636, only one officer and 16 enlisted men surrendered.
Everyone else was dead.
Jesus fucking Christ
among the dead on the island were
Korean slaves
that the Japanese had brought with them they
brought 1200 and only 129
survived there's
some evidence that they were killed in the bombardment
like sent out on purpose
during unsafe times and there's other evidence
that the Japanese simply murdered them when they realized they were
losing
the second Marine Division suffered 894 killed in action during unsafe times. And there's other evidence that the Japanese simply murdered them when they realized that they were losing.
Now the second Marine division suffered 894 killed in action. All additional 84 of,
of the wounded with later succumb to their wounds.
Another 2,188 men were wounded in battle.
Now remember this is in three days on an Island,
roughly the same size of central park.
Right.
For a comparison, today, the island of Beto, Etio, has a population of around 17,000.
The amount of dead in 76 hours was 6,400 total.
Now, the public backlash for this incredibly high amount of casualties over such a tiny meaningless island in
a short period of time was immediate and the government couldn't exactly censor the amount
of people being told their sons just died right now uh i think it was nimitz uh admiral nimitz
said that he had received like literally endless letters from angry angry family members for the
rest of his life um yeah, I can understand that.
Yeah. General
Holland Smith compared it to Pickett's
Charge and said,
Was Tarawa worth it? My answer
is an unqualified no.
From the very beginning, the decision of the Joint
Chiefs to seize Tarawa was
a mistake, and from their initial
mistake grew the terrible drum of errors,
errors of omission rather
than commission resulting in these needless casualties now to this day islanders occasionally
will still find skeletal remains on their very very small island and as recently as 2019 another
marine mass grave was found wow it's estimated that there's at minimum still
a hundred unaccounted for bodies
somewhere on the island and nobody's entirely sure
where.
Now, I know some people
will be mad if I don't point out that
Tarawa was a
lesson learned for the United States military.
Now, this
included the need for underwater demolition
teams to clear mines and barbed wire and sea walls and things.
This led to the founding of the Navy Underwater Demolition Teams, or UDTs, which eventually spawned into Navy SEALs.
So, yeah, we have Tarwa to thank for that.
of tar what i think for that um though i i also think that the i say this is someone who did not go to school for military history nor ever attended a military academy where this kind of thinking is
taught i don't think there's a bright side when it comes like well we learned so much no that's
just meat grinder shit yeah that that's like uh that's what when you tell that's what you tell
someone when they fail a test well you'll do better next time i fucking hope so yeah um i think it's a cop out personally
and it always it's covering your own ass for your failures like obviously this is a victory
they won the battle however did they go out right um victory comes to mind. Yeah. It's 100% the same brain that ends with, like, Napoleon in Russia saying,
we've taken the field as he sits upon, like, 20,000 dead bodies.
Right.
Like, yeah, well, they just left it.
Like, what did we really gain?
So that is the Battle of Tarawa.
And unfortunately, theific theater in a
nutshell uh obviously we'll talk about the subject more right um down the line because i'm very
interested in it it's like you don't see that kind of treatment being done to the western front of
europe um it's certainly a different kind of fighting between two different enemies. But, you know, it's one of those situations where whenever you read about the Eastern Front, to a lesser extent, because there's a racial supremacy idea in mind on one side or in the Pacific Theater's case, both sides, which is a very weird point to have.
So there wasn't like it was one of those situations where a quarter was not asked for or expected.
Right.
And that's why we have...
There was a lot of ideological issues as to why the Japanese soldiers refused to surrender much of the time.
And there was a lot of the idea that the Americans simply would not surrender because they knew what would happen to them if they surrendered.
And by and large, that was an unfounded fear.
Right. They knew what would happen to them if they surrendered. And by and large, that was an unfounded fear. There were large amounts of Americans to surrender,
a large amount of British to surrender at various times.
And it was large groups rather than isolated incidents.
You would see people writing accounts from the Western front.
They feel very comfortable surrendering to the Germans.
And the Germans didn't feel so bad about surrendering to the Americans either.
Well, they did not want to surrender to the soviets no they sure did not just like if the soviets did not want to surrender to them right like we both understand what's going
to happen here right like this this time in captivity will be very short and bloody uh but
that is the battle of tarawa um so we do have a quick question from Legion today, which is more about the behind the scenes stuff of podcasting.
It says, you guys both host podcasts.
Why do you not have ads?
Why are you not part of a network or something?
We refuse to.
I mean, that's my quick answer.
It's that the ads we get, I will go a little bit behind the scenes.
We get ad requests all the time.
I assume you get more ad requests than I do because you're on YouTube.
Yeah, we get two or three a week.
People will usually send us emails basically saying, what's your price?
But we make enough from Patreon that we also really don't feel super comfortable
advertising at all you know if if i don't use a product personally i'm not gonna vouch for it um
if you know i've said multiple times i'm not really joking that if buy snooze.com
came to me with a uh with an ad offer i would listen listen. But yeah, in order to A, preserve our integrity,
and B, we just don't need the money that bad.
Yeah, I mean, I solicited ads way back in the day.
And of course, people remember that I did run an ad once.
It was because I knew the guy personally.
So I wasn't lying about anything I said.
I remember that.
Also, I feel like
part of me
would like if iHeartRadio
came calling, part of me would certainly entertain
that offer simply because I'd rather take rich
people's money than listener money.
Yeah, that's fair.
And you could still
have this show in its current
form and I wouldn't have to take anybody's money
to be able to pay my bills.
I would take advertiser money. However,
I understand now
that's simply never going to happen.
I think we have
and Well, There's Your Problem
has a unique show
as well where we're not exactly advertiser
friendly. No, we're not.
We're hard not.
And as far as like the closest thing
to a network i think we have is just i i simply share extended universe yeah i simply share a
producer with a ton of other people and we all work together all the time um and it's like of
course part of it goes into having a patreon allows us to be completely independent. At no point can anybody tell us other than our own...
Really, just Nate tells me that's something I probably shouldn't have in the show or I should reword something.
I'm never going to lose...
Well, unless you guys really don't like it.
It's never going to cost me money by voicing my opinion on top of history, which a lot of people find distasteful,
which I think is why academia is,
is incredibly boring and hard to parse because they make it that way on
purpose.
Yeah.
So I got out of academia.
Yeah.
And I am getting further into it and I hate it more.
But like,
I,
that's why,
that's why we do this show is to allow to kind of distill that into something entertaining.
Because I think people find history boring because of what it looks like, not what it actually is.
And I think by doing that, there's shows that do this already that are part of, I mean, to some extent, that are part of networks.
And nobody's calling.
I mean, I've had a few requests like i uh and i hilariously i think
i made a joke like this is what happens when your podcast host is armenian because i had like
manscape reach out that's funny we have not had manscape we've had war thunder of course you have
everybody gets war thunder and rage shadow legends yeah we got rage shadow legends we've got a vpn
a couple vpns have
reached out oh yeah it's like the you i'm surprised you didn't get uh the the headphones
are really trying to sell on youtube now oh raycons raycon yeah i'm yeah they're a scam
yeah i'm gonna start cutting fake ads in the middle of incredibly inappropriate areas
we've thought about doing that yeah when uh when an amtrak is churning over a dead 18 year
old conscripted marine i'm like you know what doesn't turn over dead 18 year old conscripted
marines vpn uh manscape yeah you know you know he doesn't have to worry about anymore manscaping
brought to you by manscape um i mean like i did reach out it's a bit of a bit now. I did reach out forever ago to Old Crow, which I did not know was a subsidiary of a larger distiller.
Owned by Jim Beam or Buffalo Trace?
I think it's Jim Beam.
It's Jim Beam.
And I sent their customer service rep the only email I could find.
This is a long time ago and we're a very, very small show.
I think we might be able to swing it now.
But their simple answer was just no.
I didn't even get the HR,
like, thank you for contacting us
and being interested in our product, blah, blah, blah.
It was just like, no.
Signed like Sarah from HR.
Well, there's a shot.
Yeah, but yeah, that's the fun of podcasting.
Advertisers suck. i don't want to have
them uh yeah same so thank you for supporting the show you make all of us not having to do
that possible thanks guys um and nate nate and liam uh oh yeah just oh because he's jewish and
i'm jewish is that why fuck you uh and. And Nate for having to parse everything we just said
into something that's palatable.
Thank you.
Thank you for joining me.
And for everybody, don't invade small Pacific islands.
They tend to kill you.
Yeah.
Watch out for those reefs, baby.
Watch out for the reefs.
Feed the reefs outside of Australia blood.
Maybe they'll come back to life.
Later.