Lions Led By Donkeys Podcast - Episode 22 - Jade Helm

Episode Date: October 22, 2018

On this episode Joe and Nick fly off the deep end talking about the origins and stupidity of one of the internet's favorite military conspiracy theories. Follow the show @lions_by Follow our Hosts @jkass99 @nickcasm1 Support the show! https://www.patreon.com/lionsledbydonkeys

Hey everybody, this episode is brought to you by Lift Big Eat Big's new workout program, The Phalanx Method. Coach, powerlifter, strongman, and historian, Brandon Morrison, took a unique approach in his creation to this three-block, six-month-long effort. Using ancient sources and modern techniques, he was able to recreate the training of one of history's most destructive military forces, the Phalanx. And it's not just the sales line either. This is only three days a week inx. And it's not just the sales line either. This is only three days

a week in the gym and it's brutal. I've competed in powerlifting, CrossFit, and spent way too much time doing brutal army PT. And this is the hardest thing I've ever done before. And you can do it at a commercial gym or like me from your garage. He also includes little historical tidbits every week to keep you interested and to keep you hooked. If you want to challenge yourself or just try something new, go to www.liftbigeatbig.com and enter the promo code donkey to get 15% off the Phalanx Method. Are you ready to become a warrior of oak and bronze? Thanks for joining us. We are days away from the U.S. military descending on Central Texas for Jade Helm 15.

The Army says it's an eight-week training exercise in a realistic setting, but they're not saying much beyond that. Fox 7's Elizabeth Saab is live in downtown with more. Elizabeth. Mike, because of that, there's no shortage of controversy surrounding the U.S. military's largest training exercise. So what exactly are they training for? Well, it depends on who you ask. The thing I can say about the Special Forces soldiers is they are the most elite soldiers on today's battlefield. This highly decorated retired military veteran should know. I've served with the 10th Special Forces

for 26 years. He's asked us to hide his identity. A warning from the federal government came down about online threats from terror groups, but that's not stopping him from talking about Jade Helm. Jade Helm 15, I've done this kind of training on a smaller scale. The winds of conspiracy are swirling on the roads of Smithville. This man believes for good reason. They just don't train to call it training. Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Lions Led by Donkeys podcast. I'm Joe, and so with me for the first time, what feels like fucking forever is Nick.

Forever, yeah. The army has finally let him go and let him back into our warm embrace i mean yeah i'm doing the school stuff so yeah all that cool shit um and we get to do something kind of new and fun and uh an episode we've wanted to do for quite a while and that is military conspiracies because this shit is awesome um i so we originally had this plan as an episode that was two distinct different conspiracies. Mine was something stupid and dumb and Nick came up with one.

I kicked myself in the dick for not thinking of. I had two ready to go. One of them was my favorite. What one was your favorite? That was Battle of LA. We already covered that. Exactly. I was like, well, I have this one.

That is Jade Helm! Yes! I am so mad. I did not think of Jade Helm myself. That's what I think I was telling you. The only reason why i came up with it is because my friends are oh you were in when jade helm unfolded yeah you you got to hear the the insanity in real time yeah and i had a lot of dumb friends that i used to consider friends i'm

gonna say fair i mean there's there's a certain and we'll definitely get into this later but there's a certain like level of insanity that goes into um people that like legitimately believe their government's military trying to take over like a state and i and it was bigger than texas it definitely was bigger than texas but it like focused on texas the most which is to me a little strange because like texas is already a state of the united states of america we cannot take it over yeah any further hardcore takeover yeah like what other more level of takeover can there be like you're gonna impress us into the military at large numbers of the population like there is more people from texas in the united states army

than literally anywhere else and that's completely like just my experience but it seemed like every platoon i was in had 15 guys from texas and fuck yes yes and it was worse being stationed there and they live there and they thought, Big Dick, Texas, like, oh, we're the best country in the whole state. Like, all this bullshit, like, I don't know. I don't get the Texas pride thing. I don't. I get it.

In an extent, if I was to play devil's advocate, just because they're so goddamn big. That's it. Well, the vast majority of people who live in like the inner lanes of texas you know you know growing up in michigan if i i can leave the country at the 20 minute drive because i live so close to canada i could go to ohio in an hour um i could leave the country in an hour right but like you know to leave texas depending on where you live it's's a nine-hour drive.

It's literally like going to a different country. It's fucking rough. So depending on where you live in Texas, you become your own insular community. Anything outside of there is the upside down from the Stranger Things. No man's land. no man's land uh so before we get into the conspiracies and we will um we have to tell the truth and like what the real training mission was for jade helm and it's a pretty short and sweet tale because it's like any other military mission you've ever heard of it really is uh but so uh jade helm 15 began uh from a u.s military plan a massive multi-state training mission that would involve around 1200 personnel from every branch of the

military uh these were by and large the military's correct units and one units you have definitely heard of meaning the u.s army green berets the navy seals you know the type of guys that they make movies and video games about or people that just decide to write books. Those guys. I also wrote a book, and I was definitely in Special Forces. Oh, yeah. Buy my book.

So these guys would all want to train in a large-scale capacity. It was supposed to be an anti-terror operation spanning a large piece of land. 1,200 soldiers, Marines, Airmen, whatever. 1,200 people is not a lot when it comes to large-scale training. And how large-scale Jade Helm was, it's not a lot.

No, no. I think it was large large scale just for special operations because special operations is really small community um you know uh some of these soldiers would be playing the good guys meaning like they'd be playing you know seals or rangers whatever whatever the job was and uh other people would be playing bad guys they'd be playing insurgents this is all completely normal that needs to be underlined uh it's known as opposition force or up for um everybody in the military has done this i have been up for a thousand times easily everybody's done it a few times myself and honestly i love op for yeah of course great of course the shit

you don't have to wear a uniform you get to act like the bad guys everybody enjoys playing up for but like this is what the most important part to take away from this isn't that we've all done it. It is completely normal. It is. None of this is different. The training, what was supposed to be, it was called a realistic military training or war games or immersive training. These are all buzzwords people use for it. It means that

it was going to involve every aspect of the soldier's life when they're involved in it. These normally include very well planned out scenarios that aim to be as close to war as possible. These types of exercises are nothing new. Regular soldiers go to California to take part in immersive training

in the middle of the desert known as the National Training Center. There's another training center in Louisiana known as the Joint Training Center, which is significantly worse. Yes. The U.S. Army Rangers actually put on a really well-known immersive training exercise known as Robin Sage. sage this includes an entire county of space and includes civilians playing parts of supposed foreign government military being involved thousands of people involved putting this thing on

the training is so realistic and immersive that several Rangers have actually been shot by police during the during the training. Once in 2002 and another in 2009. What it comes down to is, so it's called Pineland. It's a training area

slash fake country that's in the middle of Robin Sage. Ooh, I know fake countries. And Pineland has its own cops. Obviously, these counties have their own cops um so one is real one is very fake okay that's okay that's cool because i was about to say um and the rangers on these particular occasions came face to face with real cops while being armed and being heavily

camouflaged because they're supposed to be hiding from the enemy. They were unsure which cop they were facing. Yeah. The cop shot them. I'd imagine that would be an issue. The cop thought they found a fucking wild man in the middle of the woods with a rifle, so they shot him. Is there any more to the exchange? There's minute details.

What it comes down to is like neither one of them so both sides were in a situation the other one was not sure they were in if that makes sense i kind of want to go more into they were confronted with a pineland police officer a fake one a fake one and the cop thought he was being confronted by a psychopath in the woods with a rifle. So I want to go more into the cop got out of the car and he's like, action, and fucking shot. I mean, in both situations, I believe one of the rangers died. I didn't look too super far into it, but it would end up both times being just a massive mistake that nobody is really at fault for. Cops should have been notified that Robin Sage was going on. The participants in Robin Sage should have absolutely been warned that there's real cops in the area because it should be noted.

People live here. Yeah. But yeah, huge gray area for both sides. So Jade Helm aimed to be even bigger than either one of those things. The training would involve several states, with units training in Texas, Florida, Louisiana, Mississippi, New Mexico, and Utah. Though maps of the operation would also include Colorado and California, despite no actual training being done there.

The idea of the plan was to give all the different special forces groups a chance to work together in a large scale mission, something that is obviously very important for the propagation of the global war on terror that we find ourselves in to this day. Especially since most special forces groups work in really, really small teams, right? They don't get the opportunity to work with

everybody. That doesn't happen very often. So this is going to be kind of groundbreaking. So this should be it, right? Pack our shit up and go home. That's the end of our episode. J-Home's over. The world's strongest military was just going to go on a training mission. Nothing to see here. This is the kind of shit that happens

thousands of times a year across the country. Nearly hundreds of military bases this always happens sure that was until the planned map for the training was published also remember this is 2015 smack dab in the middle of prime right-wing obama conspiracy theory years yes um the map did look bad i will give this is as much credit as i will give any conspiracy theorist if you took the map out of any context whatsoever it looked bad and that's the thing you have to take it out of context because it's not even that bad because if you look at the map like it's fucking watermark department of defense yeah like this is obviously coming from training areas um anyway so the special operations map came out and it had the states uh like the ones i just said color-coded based on

their level of threat as pertains to the fake war they were planning the colors went from blue meaning permissive to red meaning hostile guess who's hostile? Southern California. So California and Colorado were the only two blue states, with the exception of the very southern tip of California being red. Arizona was light blue, meaning they might be friendly. New Mexico was brown, meaning they were questionable but might lean towards hostile. Utah and Texas were both labeled straight red, with the east of Texas being circled as the center of resistance.

This probably would not have gone anywhere other than, I don't know, a couple friends here and there, if it was not for one man, and that man's name is alex jones our boy the host of info wars uh laugh all you want but before he managed to get his crazy ass ban from 99 of the internet he had tens of millions of downloads every month through his info wars brand pretty much every conspiracy theory crank was involved in the spreading of this shit, whether it be Alex Jones' Infowars, the Drudge Report,

your weird uncle's Facebook group, whoever it might be. But pretty much every single thing kind of leads back to him. Like, if this conspiracy theory was a plague, he would be patient, zero. It may have sparked somewhere before him on the internet. I'm not saying Alex Jones started it. I'm saying he picked it up and ran with it. It's the difference of

a story being picked up on by your strange local news channel and it being picked up by BBC. Millions of people are going to hear it one way. Your weird racist people are going to hear it one way. You're weird. Racist grandpa's going to hear about the other way.

And once Alex Jones got ahold of it, it ran fucking wild. It's, it's kind of like all those offshoots, whether it be the weird subreddits or the four chans or the whatever, they're all like the little feeder fish at the bottom of a shark, and Alex Jones is the weird fat balding shark. Yeah. That's really good.

I like that one. Thank you. I try. So while the majority of InfoWars is centered around how he could sell people diet pills and assault rifle parts, he also spent a lot of his time screaming about how obama was going to destroy america and he was going to do it with none other than jane helm or sorry the globalists are gonna destroy america before you go any further we gotta take our brain pills oh yeah the fucking brain fuel

yeah brain fuel and our iodine genocide or whatever the fuck else is called my favorite ever bit he ever did. And I'm not going to play the clip here because it has absolutely no pertaining fact to our episode. He sells this thing called Caveman and it's a bone broth with it. Sorry. Caveman, it's a bone broth. It's got all the things that you need like mushrooms and fucking bone marrow. Did you play the clip?

No. Oh, that was you? Yeah, that fucking bone marrow. Did you play the clip? No. Oh, that was you? Yeah, that was me. You sounded great. Yeah, I try. I actually prepared my Alex Jones impression by smoking 10 packs of cigarettes a day. In the mirror. And punching myself in the throat.

In the dick. And then he chugs this shit from a mixing cup and nearly throws up on his desk. It's pretty great. cup and nearly throws up on his desk it's it's pretty great uh so uh but other than the fact that he's like a literal comedy show alex jones actually did a lot of fucking harm to this thing um he went on ray of tyrant and rant after rant after rant um and it unfortunately it's really hard to find um after he got banned off the internet recently from – he is currently being sued by the Sandy Hook families for libel and slander. He got banned for – like he chased down Jack, the guy who runs Twitter in the hallways of Congress and screamed at him. And he screamed it all.

So he got banned for harassment. And YouTube banned him as well for violating their uh terms of service so his original clips are kind of hard to find yeah uh but i found a lot of his articles which are all still up on info wars a website i really hope none of you ever go to so i found a lot of them um he had quite a few solid articles up and by solid i mean hilarious including a video where he said quote they, they're going to practice breaking into things and stuff. It's going to be hellish. Now that this is just a cover-up deploying military on the streets, this is an invasion, a preparation for a financial collapse, and maybe even Obama not leaving office.

And I really wish I could find clips of this but i can't breaking into things and stuff things and stuff yes um you know and it it kind of sucks because the few clips i find of alex jones are long as fuck i watched multiple clips that were at least an hour long um because like the the clips topic on youtube which is always like a mirror of a mirror of a mirror to cover up for all his bands yeah it's always labeled like jade helm um alex jones tells off the globalists and then it's like him screaming into the night shirtless for reasons that make no fucking sense uh so i watched so many of these goddamn clips I started having nightmares about Alex Jones

it's like him chasing after me shirtless screaming in the night goddamn Joe there's globalists after me come with me shirtless into the night I don't want to know how he could keep up I don't know he's not a fit man. He just gets redder. In your nightmares, I imagine he'd probably be really...

As he gets angrier, he just gets redder and redder. He's the reddest man. Honestly, after these videos, I can tell your hair has a lot more volume. It looks full. That's because I'm a three-finger, Nick. I have this nice tall glass of... It's doing something. of chain, man. So he really went off in an article titled Beyond Denial Preparations for Martial Law in America.

He didn't write this himself. That part kind of needs to be underlined. He doesn't really write much of anything himself. He took a little bone broth sip. Are you okay? I think I have hiccups from screaming in Alex Jones' voice.

Not from the bone broth. Alex Jones isn't much of a journalist. He's a talking head show screaming head. I don't know how to describe him. He doesn't write. He employs a staff of writers

who are all terrible. One of them is a guy named uh joseph paul watson who i've had numerous runs with myself and he and he's british so i am actually allowed to call him a cunt yes yes finally yeah yeah he is british he's a cunt i can use that word yes um so uh he wrote this article, which is kind of funny. They backpedal and then re-pedal over the same subjects constantly. One of those. So I will read off a large part of this article.

Part of this article is about the preparations of martial law in America. He claims the whole plan is to get used to people seeing military everywhere, whether it be on the streets, on TV, doesn't matter. The end game is to get people so normalized to the idea of military being everywhere in America that when martial law really is launched, and I'm assuming this is by God, Emperor Obama during his 36th term, which clearly never happened, we won't notice. There will be military everywhere. Also, later on, can we post that nice meme I sent you of Obama with the burning Walmart behind him?

I don't know if I can post that as a swastika, and I think Twitter will ban us. Oh, shit, it does. I'll censor it and post it, though. Fuck, I forgot I had a swastika on. Yeah. I'll censor it and post it though. Fuck, I forgot I had a swastika on. So, like I said, his biggest point is this is part of the normalization of military being everyone in America.

Now, if you are someone with eyes or TV channels or internet connection, you know that the U.S. military has been everywhere since I'm 30 years old. I remember seeing the military everywhere from as long as I can remember, whether it be national sports games, posters, movies, video games, recruitment offices in every corner. The military is something that can be kind of considered an organizational cult of personality. It's everywhere. I've seen them at schools. I literally saw them in middle school yeah recruiters show up all the time and it's this isn't something that's out of the ordinary i'm

not saying it's right or wrong that's for other people that decide but i'm saying like he did not need to launch some multi and also like okay so uh'll get into this a little bit later when we talk about Bastrop, Texas. But none of the areas that training was going to be going on in were populated. These were in the middle of nowhere. Because here's the thing about special forces soldiers or Marines or seamen or airmen. We don't want people to see how they train that's the whole point and i'll even bring up like whenever i go to these rotations like what you said earlier ntc or jrtc right we aren't allowed to have phones on us when we go to our sorry about that yeah guitar

we're not allowed to have our phones on us during like in our time in the field while we are training we're not allowed to we sneak them in

because soldiers are going to soldier exactly how are we supposed to get us doing dumb shit right and you know

that's that's kind of like one of the troubling aspects of opsec i guess but like that's one of the things that so before this theory before a lot of theories actually i had a popular unpopular slash theory that um conspiracy theorists, they want to make sense of a chaotic world. They want to like, what is easier to believe? I mean, in your mind, in your warped mind, that some people just want to do terrible things like school shootings or terrorist attacks. Or that like there's some overarching worldwide conspiracy planning all these things like it it makes more sense to bring order to the chaos and say it's the new world order or it's it's a false flag like but it doesn't that explanation doesn't

work here yeah it takes something that's exponentially more simple and makes it so much more complicated. And he goes into, like, he wants to have, like, Obama wants to have the citizens of America seeing the military as normal. Honestly, they're already normalized. Right. By the time Obama's been in office, he's been at war for almost a decade. Exactly. And everybody knew somebody who fought in it. So him bringing it up, I don't know where people go, yeah, he's right.

He is normalizing them. I think it's because we had a black guy in office and we just want to think badly of him. And Alex Jones wasn't alone. I really wish I could say he was alone in propagating weird conspiracy theories. But he wasn't. Like I said before, he tended to spout them off. And as they got popular, people just ran to jump onto the train to cash their check on the runaway train. You know, one of those people was Jesse Ventura.

Yes. The former wrestler and governor of Minnesota and host of such venerable TV shows as Conspiracy Theory with Jesse Ventura. That show was the shit. And Off the Grid with Jesse Ventura. I haven't seen that one. So here is a clip of him talking on off the grid with his co-host brigitta um about what he thinks jade helm is

the two months long military training exercise responsible for launching a trove of conspiracy theories is officially in effect right now more than 1200 u200 US troops are training in seven states. According to the map, specific states have been being hostile, permissive, or uncertain for the purposes of the exercise. Hostile areas shown in red include Utah, Texas, and a small portion of California. Yeah! reports that the

in these states replicate areas Army Special Operations soldiers regularly find themselves operating in overseas, places like Afghanistan or Iraq. It should be noted that this show has worse audio than we do. Also, we said all this earlier. Yes. Here's our boy. I think it's a lot of BS. I don't know why.

We've already got the terrain inside military bases. All of this could be accomplished on legitimate military bases inside U.S. government-controlled property. I think that it definitely is to get us used to a military presence. It should be noted that he is wearing a tie-dyed shirt that says off the grid in the center of it. Okay, I'll go ahead and stop it there. So that is where a lot of conspiracy theorists join in on what Jones laid the groundwork for. And that is not spouting the same things

because Jesse Ventura is semi-legitimate guy like he was a fucking governor everybody knows who he is mostly whether it be from a governor or be a wrestler wrestler people know who he was so like people don't want to buy in like yeah i'm with alex jones but so like they're going to like cherry pick they're gonna say like oh yeah this makes sense we want to see government we want to see government military everywhere. We want to see the government having the legions of soldiers everywhere. I mean, Grant, like, again, twelve hundred soldiers over seven states for three days. This is not so fucking absurd.

Like he's trying to rationalize the irrational yeah i'm honestly through that whole interview what you pointed out that i'm more interested in yeah is the tie-dye shirt yeah the tie-dye shirt is pretty sick like where'd you get it it? I don't know. I could've. Jesse Ventura has an interesting history that's insane to its fucking own to include suing and winning against Chris Calhoun's

estate. Yeah, fuck. It's really weird because he latches on to a lot of strange shit, but at the same time, he speaks the truth on other shit. So he's like the Paul family of conspiracy theorists where he has just enough amount of like, well, he wasn't lying this last time. But at the same time, he's standing in a studio in a tie-dyed shirt flanked by some chick named Brigitte screaming about the military in the street. Like, come on, man.

It's fucking awesome. I love Jesse Ventura. So, yeah. Just as much as, like... I believe he'll win the tag team title in Conspiracy Theorist with Alex Jones. Oh, he'd play a major role in it. He's going to beat The Undertaker and Kane. All the way back from WrestleMania.

So Alex Jones would be on the ropes fucking dying, right? And everybody's calling on. That fat shit has no cardio. Exactly. This is only two minutes into the match. He's already fucking dying. All right. This is not even like five minutes in.

Did he drink his caveman before? Yeah, he drank his caveman. He's already threw up on the side. It's the globalist's fault. He couldn't pin the Undertaker. He got Jesse Ventura on the side pumping, fucking having him pump up. Alex Jones like, get up, tag me in. He's just getting Alex Jones shaking, getting redder and redder.

Oh, yeah, I'd watch that. I'd pay-per-view that. So that wasn't the end of Alex Jones in this story, unfortunately. He didn't really stop there. Another huge part of the Jade Helm conspiracy theory, and a part that a lot of people are probably more familiar with, are the FEMA concentration camps. So the idea was, propagated by Jones,

is that the military, all 1,200 of them, remind you, that are being deployed here across seven states, are going to wrangle up all the God-fearing, Second Amendment-loving patriots and throw them in these death camps that are built where? Walmart. Yes. Fucking

Walmart. Now, if this idea sounds ridiculous to you, it is. I mean, yeah. Are those 10 and 15% discounts a trap? Low, low prices every day at the cost of your

soul. I mean, like, so this idea is actually so bad. It is so bad that Alex Jones himself backpedaled from it uh but like slowly he didn't write it he said it numerous times on on clips i couldn't find uh other than like mirrors of mirrors of mirrors that were three hours long i didn't feel like editing down but uh eventually an article popped up on infowars so if you google um the uh the

walmart death camps or the fema death camps in Walmart on Infowars, you won't find one supporting it. Because he backpedaled. Yeah. By Joseph Paul Watson, again, posted an article saying it was debunked. Because, sure, of course it is. Of course it's fucking debunked. It's insane. But those sales weren't a trap. They were really just sales.

Yeah, it turns out. So the idea was that these multiple Walmarts, they were all mysteriously closed for renovation. We're all going to be used to house people in these camps. But the idea of FEMA camps are absolutely still supported by Alex Jones, and that I was able to find. So here is a clip of Alex Jones going over a large amount of FEMA camps that were spread across the country to be used for the God-freying, Second Amendment-loving page riots that were going to stand against the brutality of Jade Helm.

So this is the continental United States that goes over to the UK all the way to Scotland. they need to get ready to staff them and that they need to be ready within a 72 hour period for the guards and the and the people in the canteen with the food and the launders and just the whole nine yards there it is so they've been setting this up for more than two decades and now they started earlier in the year okay so um so even though he backpedaled on his website about the FEMA camps being ridiculous after he got called out on it, and this

is around the same time that even though this is pre-Trump because Trump pretty much normalized Alex Jones for going to interviews and stuff with him. This is pre-Trump, but at this point, pretty much everybody knows who Alex Jones is. He is a normalized idea of the internet uh but he is popular enough everybody's like yo these walmarts

are ridiculous like these are obviously not fema death camps and that's when his agent uh joseph paul watson wrote the uh the article denouncing the fema death camps but this is as of um But this is as of 2017. This is the video clip I played you. So he clearly still absolutely is. He's still on board. Yeah, he is still selling the FEMA death camp spiel. Also, the tagline in this video is disabled states of America.

And hilariously enough on YouTube, because FEMA is quoted in the subject line, there's a huge ad for the Federal Emergency Management Agency right under it. So well done. Nice. Well done, algorithms. You win this one. So like I said, he backpedaled pretty quickly from that

but only so far as people could uh see um but he he wasn't quite done um the the fema death camps are were alternately death camps and re-education camps depending on which day you caught them on the internet yeah um so and what would happen inside of these walmarts you ask what could pass not sales not no um so jones outlined an army manual uh forwarded me by nick thank you very much for that for doing a lot of the legwork on this article because uh i am balls deep in the air in iraq war for our upcoming series and balls deep and i really could not bother to read dozens of info articles on this shit i thought i was gonna lose my shit reading all that so um he quotes an army field mental field manual 3-19.40 titled The Interment Slash Resettlement Operations of United States Military Police.

This does exist. This absolutely does exist. I will give Alex Jones credit that he quoted something that does exist as much as if somebody quoted my book saying, I love lobster. That book does exist. I never said that in my book and that passage does not exist in my book, but the book that they quoted does exist. That's where Alex Jones stops once again from being factual. It does exist within the outlines of military police operational policies on how to handle enemy prisoners of war and

displace civilians during a time of war. That's about it. That's pretty much all it does. He claims that this ultra secret manual that was handed to him through multiple leaked sources from like the DOD himself, which he doesn't name.

The globalists might catch him. It can be a bigger pile of shit. You can Google it right now, and it's freely available on the internet as a PDF to the Library of Congress. You might be able to get it at a local fucking... Yeah, I probably know a dozen people who own the physical copy.

It is not a secret document. You can find it on Google, on the PDF, through the Library of Congress. I will link it in our Twitter so you can show that I am not fucking lying. Anyway, he claims that this manual covers the re-education of prisoners

as well as the green light to execute any American dissidents as well as confiscate firearms. Now, this is true. Obviously, the confiscation of firearms is normal through the repatriation of firearms is normal through the the repatriation of enemy prisoners of war because when prisoners of war are put in

POW camps they are unarmed there is no reeducation that is outlined there's nothing else that is outlined he takes a regular army field manual and warps it this is like saying that someone got their hands on the army manual for rifle marksmanship which you can also find freely available in the library of Congress, and decide that since this is about shooting guns, it must also be about massacring civilians.

It is such a leap of faith and it's such a leap of logic. It's like Wile E. Coyote-ing your way across a canyon and some bottle rocket strapped up your asshole. It is so fucking stupid. some bottle rockets strapped up your asshole. It is so fucking stupid. Like I think I said to you earlier, I said to somebody earlier when I was trying to explain something, it's so logical. It's stupid.

Like this is not it. This is so stupid. Like this only makes sense if you have brain worms or like tertiary syphilis. This is so dumb. Like it can be disregarded in the fastest fucking Google search. Didn't you say you read the whole manual? I read the entire thing. It is 60 pages long.

And that's the thing. I don't read whole manuals because that's fucking stupid. I never read an entire manual in the 10 years I was in the Army. But I read one for the Alex Jones episode of our podcast. Because I think the most I've ever gotten into anything on a manual is when I had to look up one thing out of the soldier's manual, the soldier's handbook. Right. For an essay. That's about it.

So when that failed to hook people, Jones rolled out a new theory. That was only only Jade Helm Was totally going to take over Texas It was also going to launch A geospatial intelligence This is it Using human domain analytics To map politics to the thought of any nation

State, city, right down to the individual That's right, that's right The army invented fucking Seabro out of X-Men. I was reading this shit and I was just like, what the fuck? Yeah, like fucking Alex Jones

thinks the military got together Cerebro from Professor X. Fucking insane. Like the military can't keep track of its own soldiers yeah dude i still get calls from texas so you had a fair amount of people still in the army or like civilians that had a lot of questions for you when this is unfolding, didn't you? I'm not going to say a lot, but I did have questions. Like on a scale of.

And sadly, they came from the people I reenacted with. On a scale of one to ten. My reenacting friends on this podcast do not sound good. They don't. I have known you for years and they sound terrible. Yeah. Not a lot. Yeah.

No, they're terrible people. I'm starting to think they're just bad people. They're terrible people. There's only a good few that i actually still talk to so were some of these people that ask you these questions like people you thought were normal up until this point like they weren't the nazi guy who literally owned his own tank so i usually tend to try not to talk to him if i didn't have to and if i did or if i for shits and giggles just for a story but these were coming from people that i considered friends that weren't the nazi side of reenacting

and i was just like what the fuck because they were like so uh what's up with the the military and i'd be like what's up like so you guys doing training or what's going on? I'm like, dude, I'm a specialist. What makes you think I would fucking know anything? They barely tell me anything. And I know why they barely tell me anything. Because if they tell me anything that has to do with any date, I will make an appointment to get out of it. That's like. So if they told me Jade Helm was happening at this time my appointment would be happening

around this time for a shit ton of stuff this is 2015 yeah right what world do these people live in where they're gonna hold this they're they're going to form i mean i know in reality it's 1200 dudes who are all like the the most highly trained in the military but the way the conspiracy theory unfolded it was you know untold thousands of soldiers across the country and and that's what they all have facebook they all have fucking instagram they all have twitter like i'm pretty sure if this is a real thing they'd be like lol hashtag take over walmart and that's what i was gonna get into also is all these uh facebook live feeds of oh, military vehicles being transported to such and such. And I'd be like, that was the railhead.

That's a fucking hat. That's going to the training center. That's a truck. That's the whole purpose is to transport Humvees. Like when they say, look at all these tanks going across the rail yard. That's going to NTC. That's where we go train literally there's such a suspense of this i know it's weird this happened in the same part of the country that i

swear to god i saw like you know support our troops bumper stickers and fucking everything like support our troops with an asterisk next to it unless they're trying to take over texas or something or whatever else oh my god yeah just texas so in another article joseph watson a guy i've been shitting him constantly and i'm sure he doesn't listen to my show but uh he can go fuck himself again joseph watson is a cunt you can quote me on that uh thank you he said the real plan was to deploy Chinese troops to America. Hence the term Jade being in the name of the operation. See, I was going to put this into the notes, but I didn't think I should, but I'm glad you did.

I'm glad you did. I don't have anything more to say. It was so fucking stupid. It warranted a mention. I'm glad you did. Somehow this shit got even weirder than alex jones according to the learned and totally not crazy self-proclaimed prophet and biblical theorist afrain rodriguez real guy claimed an asteroid was coming to earth on september 15th the same day jade helm was supposed to end

does that mean anything to you no no it shouldn't because it obviously didn't happen but he said that was enough to mean the whole thing was obviously a planned mission for the biblical end times are you shook are you shook yet anyway uh so according to paul helsinki of the fine website gunsamerica.com. Yeah. Not only was the Play that guitar riff from earlier.

So not like the prophet was correct, but the asteroid is part of a giant geoengineering event created by NASA or HAARP or some fucking

both combination. I don't know how it depends on how many drugs you're on. So brain fuel. Yeah. Cave know. Depends on what drugs you're on. So brain fuel. Yeah. Caveman. In a 10,000 word unhinged rant,

during which he says climate change is quote, absolute bullshit. That only tree hugging liberal moon bats believe. He claims that Russians, Chinese, and the U.S. are all teaming up to control the weather, spread chemtrails, and somehow linking all this back to the military training in the middle of nowhere in Texas. Apparently, the end times are only going to happen in the Southwest.

Bumfuck nowhere in Texas. Obviously, all these claims are stupid. But that didn't stop the stupid from going mainstream which is where the important thing is um soon mainstream outlets began running these stories about these theories we have talked about some of them were like ha ha ha look at these crazy people but other people did not these are included but not limited to cnn and fox news at one point glenn beck uh former fox news host and current the blaze owner uh and his stupid fucking chalkboard went on a crazed rant but how is going to bring about martial law he also managed to rope in labor unions into the

conspiracy because why the fuck not he had this huge flow chart like do you ever watch uh always sunny in philadelphia yes when charlie of course had the huge conspiracy web that was glenn back in his fucking chalkboard except somehow the leftist agenda somehow flowed through labor unions into the military to take over america I think I only do a flow chart for trying to find my wallet. That's as far as I get. Like, this is where I last saw it. This is where it could be. This is where it might be.

This is where it is. So you're saying this. Mine are way simple. Mine are way simple. Theirs are fucking across the fucking strings yeah going across the room so uh once the mainstream latched on to all of these weird screaming ideas of insanity the internet found its way into the normal viewing public and this seems normal to us in 2018 um the the weird corners of the internet elected president.

The weird corners of the internet are now like normal. Pizzagate is something that is on CNN and Fox News. Like the weird Kavanaugh doppelganger theory became normal news. But I

feel like Jade Helm is like patient zero of the weird shitty corners of the 4chan internet sphere birthing themselves into the mainstream i still love the analogy you made earlier with the the 4chan and the reddit yeah yeah and alex jones, they're the shitty little pacostumist fish. It's fucking great. Yeah. So it's scary to believe, but there's a large portion of the population of this country who really do believe everything they hear said on TV. So now they're talking about that Kenyan Muslim black president marching troops in Texas. You have people like Glenn Beck screeching about it. You have people like Laura Ingraham screechingching about it and then it got worse i i honestly don't know how it got worse but it got worse the army actually saw this coming and and for the first for the

first time and maybe only time in military history the military was like this is getting bad we should probably try to head this off yeah they sent a lieutenant colonel mark listoria to bastrop texas which is like ground zero for 95 percent of the training was going to go down uh he was going to go in explain everything with a calm cool collected demeanor smooth everything out it did not go well uh listoria answered questions for two hours from around 150 people and accusations range from the military flying and fighters from isis to large numbers of people believing the soldiers were there for what else gun other people openly question mark the story is allegiance to the people of the country, leading him to go on an angry rant about how he has served in the country for 25 years under multiple presidents and he is insulted. That did nothing to slow down the crowds.

And these are the same people that go support our troops. They have the yellow ribbon on the back of their truck. This is Texas on the back of their truck. Yeah, yeah. Lieutenant Colonel Lestoria might as well have been screaming out a wall. Those people were not there to listen to them. Oh, no. They weren't.

It should be noted that Bastrop, the entire county of Bastrop, mind you, which was going to be the largest gathering of soldiers to train all at once, would consist of 60 soldiers for two days. Yeah. Yeah, 60. Six, zero. That's it. That's it. So this is where, thank God, we have adults to enter the room, right?

The government's going to enter the room to smooth this whole thing out. Yeah. The Texas state government did not do anything to temper the insanity. Fuck no. They're from Texas. Texas state governor, Greg Abbott, announced he would order the Texas state guard, which is different from the National Guard. Some places keep saying National Guard. Totally different thing.

To, quote, monitor the exercise. In a letter to the State Guard Commander Major General Jake Betty, Abbott wrote that, quote, to address concerns of Texas citizens and to ensure the Texas communities remain safe, secure, and informed about military

procedures occurring in their vicinity. I am directing the Texas State Guard to monitor Jane Helm 15. Now, this can be taken several different ways. This can be taken as a governor reading the address and problems coming from his state and saying, I'll take care of it. I will help you. Or. Greg Abbott has already shown himself for years before now to be a crazy person and to latch onto this conspiracy to rally his base. Now, I lived in Texas for 10 years before I moved to Washington State. I know tons of people from Texas.

The vast majority of Texans did not believe Jade Home 15 was invading their state to take it over. What did believe, though, was a lunatic fringe from a strange county in the middle of nowhere. Greg Abbott latched onto that strange county in the middle of nowhere. With his big nasty hooks. Yep. And it did not end there. Ted Cruz, known asshole and impossible Zodiac killer, told the South Carolina Republican

Party during a speech that, quote, we are assured that the military training exercise is just a military training exercise. I have no reason to doubt those assurances, but I understand the reason for concern and uncertainty, because when the federal government has not demonstrated itself

to be trustworthy in this administration, the national consequence for many citizens is to not to trust what they're saying. Meaning, he was latching on to the wave of untrustworthiness coming out of his base due to what he has said about the current administration to write into what happened several years later was his run for president of the United States. Another representative from Texas, Louie Gohmert, who resembles a human blobfish, said that he claimed

that the training grounds were picked because they were overwhelmingly Christian, conservative, and areas of the Republican majority because obviously the U.S. military is a bastion for liberal ideas or something like so i'm not a liberal i'm not i'm a leftist i i i am far past the point of a liberal um never once was i surrounded by more than five people that remotely believed anything that i believed while i was in the army oh yeah the army is by and large a bastion of conservative very from southern states very this

statement is fucking nuts um maybe they pick bastrop fucking texas because they need fast tracks of nothingness exactly i've been to bastrop. It's a federal prison, a town of like 50 fucking people, and then nothing else. That's it. I also want to point out, there's a lot of Texas shit. Honestly, the water didn't taste too good in Texas whenever I had it. So I don't know if it's in the water. Take a sip of Texas water. I'm like, thatmart's plot against me those sales look fucking trapped it should be said like i i already

said before texas was not the only state that was labeled red utah was too and you did not get this shit coming out of utah you had a few things but nothing that was remotely noteworthy and that's what makes it really cool because southern california where i was from where i did all my reenacting and i knew all my reenacting buddies they all were in southern california in the hostile area so that's why i had all those nice questions i mean i get it i i kind of already figured those would be the questionable ones because they own a fucking tank and they have nazi tattoos those were the ones that didn't ask me those questions but i will say something that is actually kind of with the whole uh guard thing uh one of my buddies who i reenacted with uh he is a sergeant major for the california state guard he's a bad motherfucker but

the california state guard from what he told me is they basically occupy the area the national guard has like whenever they deploy right so whenever that unit deploys they take over what that national guard unit did in during their time and the texas state guard is not like like i said different than the national guard i'm not going to go into a huge yeah i just wanted to point that out like the difference yeah it's a huge if the state guard is largely unarmed it's technical support yeah they are the i.t of military formations um more so than the navy or air force um okay so this is where things get heartbreaking you ready for this i hope it's not what i think

it is walker texas ranger god damn it himself got on the stupidity he wrote a column for the world news daily a website that also heavily dabbled in obama conspiracy myths about where he was born he in his uh article praised praised Ted Cruz for questioning the exercise and said, quote, I'm not trusting what I'm being told. And he said that they are hiding something because they've not been up front with the local government about the training. This is all bullshit. All counties involved gave permission for the training.

The Department of Defense gave all the plans to state governments months ahead. They just played the role of concerned guardian of patriotism while the hooting masses that make up their voting public of Texas thought the black guy was coming to steal their guns.

Literally all of this could have been stopped if they had a set of balls between them. Like at any point, Greg Abbott who has never done a good thing in his fucking life, could have just said, no, that's not happening. Like that's all he had to do. Yeah. That's not even like – I understand that for a red state Republican during the times of Obama, nobody ever said anything nice about him. You don't even have to say anything nice about Obama. So like the military wouldn't take you over. Right.

Like that's all you have to say. Granted, he never activated the state guard. No, but he did order them to monitor the exercise. Yeah. I mean, but you, the state guard activation is something that gets lauded around mostly because it it was originally a person national guard activation right but like he had assets of the state guard monitor the united states military because he was unsure i don't know what he thought and i'm willing to bet yeah i'm get fucking murked they're they're watching a whole bunch of Rangers, Seals, and Green Berets.

What the fuck were they going to do? I just imagine it was a bunch of good old Texas guys. You know, it's stupid to think, like, the military, because I am a completely uneducated guess here. More than half of the dudes training were probably from fucking Texas. For sure. Also, also want to point out Walker Texas Ranger till this

day is protecting Texas in the eyes of a Ranger he can go fuck himself intro to the song in the eyes of the range so I'll go fuck yourself great song cuz Chuck Norris sang it I hope Chuck Norris gets testicular cancer uh so uh instead of taking charge of the whole situation as adults in the room the state of texas took the opportunity to get one last dig on president obama rather than tell the people to chill the fuck out the

government isn't invading i know i said before that a vast majority of texans did not believe that the united states government was trying to invade them. I still stand by that. But a public policy polling company took a poll in May of 2015 and found a full 32% thought that the government was trying to take over Texas, while a full 50% of people who identified themselves as members of the Tea Party were concerned with the impending invasion of Texas. The Tea party bit does not surprise me in the slightest it doesn't no yeah so in case you're wondering in the end no texas did not get invaded and no nick did not

shove anybody into a fema death camp walmart super center um the whole exercise went off without a hitch because of course it did it did. They generally always do. Though there's this new theory years after the fact. The whole propagation of Jame Health bullshit was a little more than a dry run. For what else? Russian collusion. Yes. So the idea is that Russian trolls in troll farms run by the fsb which is the russian

version of the cia were used to sway public opinion former head of the cia and msa michael hayden told the morning joe podcast 2018 which is i assure you a thing i actually listened to the episode and the morning joe does have a podcast the morning the morning joe it's a show on msnbc i believe not you no it's not the morning me okay i would not be awake in the morning to talk to it and now if the former head of the cia nsa would like to wake up in the morning and talk to me i'd love to have him on the show talking to you in the morning i don't get much out of you no because i don't have my coffee yet or my energy drink even then or my uppers

so uh he claims that the entire fiasco was invented by russian agents he cited the so-called garamisiof doctrine of russian military intelligence strategy it's a kind of informational the so-called Geremysiov Doctrine of Russian Military Intelligence Strategy. It's a kind of informational warfare using what we know to actually be used by the Russians now and the FSB, that is, large amounts of civilian possible

volunteers, whether they be paid or not, to influence what people are talking about online. They also stated that quote, the Russians took their game to America in 2015. There was an exercise in Texas called Jade Helm 15 that the Russian bots and the American alt-right media convinced most many Texans was a plan to round up political dissidents.

It got so much traction that the governor of Texas had to call up the national guard to observe the federal exercises to keep the population calm at that point i am figuring the russians are saying to themselves we can go big time and at that point i think they made their decision to play the electoral process um there's a lot of things wrong with what hayden said if he hadn't picked up on them one the national guard was not alerted. No, they weren't. Um, that is someone that, uh, that's something that I figured someone in is a high of position. He was in would know the differences, uh, to the doctrine.

This whole idea is based on the Gary Meesey off doctrine doesn't exist. Uh, even though if you Google it, you'll see in probably a hundred different articles spanning the last two years, mostly based off the election, right? The guy who created the idea of the doctrine was a dude named Mark Galati said that he invented the term as little more as a catchy name for a blog post.

Also Hayden has not, has it has not had a government jobs in 2009, way before Jade Helm took place. He also has a track record as an out late liar and charlatan. Really? That's right. So he worked as a top intelligence figure in the Bush administration and helped lie their way to the Iraq War in 2003. When the Senate published its report on torture in 2014, it dedicated a full 36-page appendix documenting all the times he had lied to Congress in an official capacity.

Holy shit. 36 full pages. I don't even know how you lie for 36 pages and not get indicted for it just even sure it can do it I guess that helps if to be the former head of the CIA like you know everything about the people

asking you questions and if you don't you suck at your job so I literally I don't even know how to end this story that's it just peters out it rolls it keeps So I literally, I don't even know how to end this story. Honestly. That's, it just peters out. It rolls. It keeps going.

Right into modern times. It really does. But for the 36 pages, I could honestly imagine, because this is what I used to do in high school. I'd pick a topic or like a little, eh, an important word in a paragraph. Uh-huh. And I'd just dig into it and turn it into a story itself. But these are like all verifiable lies. See,

yeah, no, I didn't do that in high school. You know, and, because I would turn and into a whole paragraph. Like, well, well,

yeah, when you're counting word count, that's the best thing to do. How bad was he when he was in charge of the CIA or the NSA to not know the difference between the National Guard and the State Guard? That's kind of mind-blowing. It is. I mean, I don't expect a layperson to know the difference. But he was a cabinet member.

Somebody, yeah. You would imagine that they would know the difference between your state guard, the National Guard, or the reserves. Yeah, and we can discard Hayden pretty much by and large. Nothing he has said has proven to be true. And he was already out of office until 2015.

This whole thing took place. He could have said it in 2015. He could have said it in 2016. But instead, he waited until 2018 to start spouting shit off. So we can discount him for just trying to cash in the Russian buzzword there. I think by using some kind of outward agent like Hayden was trying with the Russians, you are underestimating the American public's – how much they accept just insane conspiracy theories about people like President Obama or people like the Clintons or people like – fuck, I've heard members of ISIS all at the same time. Yeah. Like, it's mind-blowing. The only thing I could hope from the pizza shop is that they have a brick oven.

Brick oven, what does that stand for? You've never seen a brick oven? What's it stand for? Oh. B-O. brick oven what's it stand for you've never seen a brick oven what's it stand for oh b o that means body keep going is open for business how could you like that's seriously a fucking simple it's like people talk about cheese pizza and emails like oh i mean shut up porn fuck i I wish I wish I there was an article where they had the. I don't want to get in a fucking pizza gate.

Fuck. Alex Jones had the. My throat. Jade Helm. It was an acronym. Jade Helm was an acronym. Oh, God damn it. That would be perfect.

Sure. I'm sure it'll go up on Twitter. But my throat literally hurts from pretending to be Alex Jones for the last hour. You only did it a few times. I know, but that was enough. I don't smoke anymore, so it hurts. We should do more Jesse Ventura. That's a little bit easier.

Conspiracy theories just upset me. I think they're funny. They really are. That's why I love Jesse Ventura. This and our last episode during the Halloween special and we talked about a serial killer was like those are fun little pit stops on our way back towards major conflict but like this this bothered me because i i know several people who believed in it. Yeah. And when I was, I was like fisting articles, just going through the internet,

looking for shit on Jade Helm. And it's mind blowing to think so much. There is a lot. There's an entire sub Reddit. Yeah. Yes. And people that believe the shit. Cause there's two different Reddits.

Yeah. That fucking the OP Jade Helm. And then there's the regular Jade Helm. Yep. And they go all in depth, like, this is what's happening. Oh, I could die for this if I shared this information, but here you go. Face zero is human intelligence. Yeah. Which lead to the lizard brain.

It's just like, fuck, man, I can't do this anymore. So that's our conspiracy show um please don't make me watch alex jones videos anymore you're gonna do it on your own i might i might just buy some caveman and fucking drown myself in it fill your tub up let's fucking breathe it in and die um so thank you everybody for listening yeah thank you everybody for listening. Yeah. Thank you everybody for donating. We have some bonus content coming your way. Yes. Our show will always be free.

I think what we do is worth a buck. You can throw it to us and for $1, you can have all our bonus content freely available on our Patreon. You can follow the show on Twitter at lines underscore by, you can follow me at jcas 99 you can follow me at nick cas m1 and um i'm just gonna go hang myself in a room full of alex jones posters before you do that i just want to ask can if anybody does get the sticker, can you send a picture? Yeah, yeah.

I kind of want to see how they came out. If anybody gets a picture or orders a sticker or something, just stick it somewhere fucking random and send us a picture of it. And otherwise, the globalists win! That's where we end. Yep. Have a good night. Later. Hi, this is Nate Bethea,

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