Lions Led By Donkeys Podcast - Episode 375 - The English Peasants' Revolt: Part 2

Episode Date: August 11, 2025

LIVESHOW TICKETS FOR OCT 4TH IN GLASGOW AVAILABLE HERE: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/lions-led-by-donkeys-podcast-live-in-glasgow-4th-october-2025-tickets-1501072671769 LIVESTREAM TICKETS FOR OCT 4TH HERE: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/livestream-lions-led-by-donkeys-podcast-live-in-glasgow-4th-october-2025-tickets-1532091008449 SUPPORT THE SHOW ON PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/lionsledbydonkeys CHECK OUT THE MERCH STORE: https://www.llbdpodcast.com/ Part 2/3 The world's most violent stag do hits the town.

Hey, everyone. We're doing another live show. This time, we are going to be live October 4th at the Flying Duck in Glasgow, Scotland, our first time in Scotland. Come get your tickets now. The links are going to be in the show notes. We hope to see you there. Like always, there's going to be show specific merch. You probably won't be able to get anywhere else. Possibly some stickers, maybe some patches, maybe some hats. Who know? Get some tickets. Come and find out. We'll see you there. If you like what we do here on the show, consider supporting us on Patreon. Just $5 a month gets you access to our entire bonus episode catalog, as well as every regular episode, one full week early. Access to all of our side series that are currently ongoing and our back catalog of those as well. Gets you ebooks, audiobooks, first dibs on live show tickets and merchandise when they're available, and also gets you access to our Discord, which has turned into a lovely little community. So go to patreon.com slash lions led by donkeys and join the Legion of the Old Crow today.

Hello and welcome to the Lines Led by Donkeys podcast. I'm Joe with me's Tom. Ever since the man in our village and Exars came around and murdered the town sheriff, things have gotten kind of crazy. We're experiencing true equality for the first time, and the lords with the orange skin and counterfeit sundials can do nothing to stop us. Tom has taken to stealing several Mercedes cars and roping them together to pull a single wagon. Meanwhile, I've liberated several pairs of skinny pants,

pants, which I'm wearing all at the same time. I watch as several of our compatriots climb to the nearest sunbed and experience melanoma for the first time. I pump my fist into the air and cheer, accidentally spitting out my several new stolen veneers. Oh, we are in prime, prime Essex energy right now. I have to admit, I don't know anything about Essex other than the show, the only way is Essex.

I mean, that's kind of all you really need to know. And I had to Google it. See, when everyone thinks of Essex, they only really think of the, like, part of it that is just filled with, like, people who, oh, my grandfather was a Cockney. So, you know, they kind of talk, like, Cockneys. And they still think themselves as, like, working class, despite the fact they drive, like, a white Mercedes with 20% interest. Essex men are, like, vibe-based soldiers, you know?

Yes. They're all hood rich, like a soldier is. Like, we have no money, but we have a government paycheck that comes in every month. So we're going to go get, you know, a Mustang with 25% interests. I'm really happy I never fell into that trap. Everybody else is doing that. And I bought a used Prius. You were smart.

You were frugal and didn't get yourself in insane amounts of debt. Yeah, yeah. Thank God for that. I spent most of my money on Xbox and PC games, though. Yeah, you were like, what's the state senator who spent all? money on. Oh, Duncan Hunter. Yeah. You were Duncan Hunter maxing. Yeah, I mean, he was in the Marines to be, but he was an officer. So I don't know where he learns those. Like, illegally using campaign money to buy Steam games is enlisted, coded. Yeah, that is honestly, like, once again,

I am pro defrauding the government if the last episode has taught you nothing. Don't pay tax, defraud the government for whatever money you can. They are stealing it from you. Yeah, that's a victimless crime. Don't steal from your neighbors, steal from the guy that doesn't matter. Yeah. So when we left you last time, the angry and armed peasants of Kent and Essex had found their political and military leadership freshly sprung from jail, John Ball, a radical priest, and Watt Taylor, a war veteran. Together, Kent and Essex men, having just taken the town of Maidstone, now began patrolling up and down the roads towards Canterbury, hunting for royal officials, or really anyone that had anything to do with the government.

And these actually were quite easy to find. Yeah. Because you wore like a badge. And like, oh, kill the cunt with a badge. Yeah. You didn't want to get the badge in four ones, you know, on your Stone Island tunic. Exactly. It's the evil badge.

The badge of your ye old G4S tunic. Thumbs in the stop vest. Thumbs in your chain mail. There's a whole bunch of dudes mobbing and beating this shit out of like the Sainsbury security guy. No, no. I'm the other G4S guy. Supermarkets in general commit massive amounts of time theft and wage theft

from their workers. Of course. It is only right that you steal a pot of hummus. I think that's one thing that every grocery store across the world has in common. Yeah, it's also, I was delighted to find out that when was it? I think it might have been like maybe a month or two ago that like demand for Sabra hummus has fallen through the floor so much that my local supermarket stopped stalking it,

Which is, you know, it's all about, you know, small victories, you know, freedom for Palestine, but also, you know, fuck, you know, Israeli hummus and avocados. Oh, no, where am I going to buy my Sabra hummus and my soda stream now? But in the first episode, the best weapon the rebellion had so far was word of mouth. Like this podcast, tell your friends about it. And check out our live show tickets for October in Glasgow, Scotland. Yeah, October 3rd, in the Flying Duck in. Glasgow, we will not be wearing any variety of green or blue and will not be involved in any sort of sectarian arguments. I'm going to wear a parcel of Hisick jersey in order

to be a good middle class, you know, Glasgow person. This time we will be taking no part in partisan conflicts. This is not a policy the podcast has in general. And that was without like why. Tyler even being there? This was just happening independently of the greater movement. And when he did gather his men

and march through, they just joined in with the locals, taking a new recruits and of course burning down the houses of people who were not on their side. After torching a house in Siddingsburn, Tyler decided it was time to head for Canterbury. Yeah, I hate when they burn down my Wotlandau, Barrett, Newbilt home.

Oh no, my Waddle, not my Dob. Just repairing the Wotlandob, I shitting directly on the wall. Someone having their Waddle and Dob burnt down is like, I have a brilliant idea to weatherproof our Waddle and Daub and they invent Pebble Dash. Oh God, a Pebble Dash

Watland Dob home. We need to return to you know, Paleolithic homes. We need to bring back Irish Kranogues. That's right. Everybody should just live in a hole.

Yeah. We need to live the life that was destined and described to us by Junji Eto. You all need to dig But those were just Tyler and his men. Remember the Kent and Essex men, Tyler and Ball being with the Kent group, were not united. The Essex group was doing their own thing in Crescent Temple, a well-known dump of wealth in the form of huge hospitaler manners and estates and temples.

It is a giant loot box. It's like you're punching local people and just like stuff is falling out of them like it's Fortnite. also they're dressed like Goku really he just beat up a priest and just gold rings fall out like he's fucking Sonic they raided the properties stealing anything that wasn't nailed down and armed themselves with hilariously ornate ceremonial weapons and armor that were like on display they're getting like the purple loot drop armor yeah yeah exactly and like giant gemmed out swords and shit like that are never meant to actually be used but

They're just like waddling down the street wearing all this shit. Yeah, this is the origin of men from Essex and Kent wearing multiple signet rings at once. Exactly. Then they stole a ton of food, stole a ton of wine, got blackout drunk and burnt down the rest of the town. Yeah, so it's just like Liverpool Street on a Thursday night at 11 p.m. Yep. It sure was. We have no experience of that at all.

From there, the Essex groups continued throughout the countryside, writing and robbing and, of course, besieging the home of Sheriff Sowall, who was still inside his house in Cogsall. The town had come to be a kind of a gathering spot for different rebel groups from surrounding villages because they knew he was in there still. And according to the book, Hand of God, at least 40 different towns and villages sent like groups of rebels to go and join this siege.

And they didn't want to like miss out on the rest of the loot as well. There's a rather large abbey there. Yeah, yeah. They didn't want to miss out on all the fucking cool vestments and whatever. Yeah, yeah. Finally, the rebels break into Sowall's home, and they beat the ever unholy shit out of him. They begin to rummage through his house, stealing anything of worth. But official government paperwork was something thereafter, specifically those marked with a green seal.

Now, the peasants would not have been able to read the paperwork that they had stolen, but they knew a green seal meant that it was related to finances and taxation. So, like, everything was just, like, color-coded in a way that even peasants knew? Yeah. It's a system so simple. Even peasants can burn it down. Yeah. They gathered up all the documents in Town Square and burned them. And they were all, like, dancing around and getting drunk and very, very happy.

And this would become a common event throughout their vault, burning down houses, but specifically gathering government documents and torching them. Eventually, they wouldn't be after only things with the Green Seal either. It's just like, that looks like paperwork. only the government has paperwork, torch it. Just peasants walking out of, you know, the house looking like, you know, remember Gold Homer? Look closer, Lenny. Just, like, dripped out in, like, the first time they've ever seen, like, a purple cloak.

Yeah, this is what happens when you loot the Lord of Springfield's home. What is surprising is they didn't murder Sewell, but the ex-checker, John Ewell, who was hiding inside Sewell's house, was beaten to death in front of him. Send a message, you know? You never killed the most powerful man. You always kill the second most powerful man to send a message. Listen here, Sher, we're going to fuck up the rest of your life by beating your friend to death in front of you.

Yeah, you go and tell the rest of the scheming unks that what's happening and what we're going to do. Caving in the ex-checkers head with a brigad, tell the other sheriff's motherfucker, tell him! And with that whole thing handled, the gang split back up and scattered back across Essex. But still, the government was offering no organized resistance. Tyler and his men reportedly numbering in the thousands at this point,

simply walked into Canterbury and took it over, including its castle. In the castle, they literally just knocked on the door. Yeah, you know, it's kind of like, look, we can all either die extremely violently or we can just let them in. Like the castle had guards, of course. The guards looked out there like, oh boy. Yeah. It's like that famous joke. I don't know how many people it's going to take to whip my ass, but I know how many people you're going to use.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They forced the monks at the abbey, the local government officials, the mayor, even the sheriff, a guy named William Stepfance, into town square and demanded they all took an oath to the true boy king, King Richard, and reject anything to do with his scheming unk regent John of Gaunt. They did, but then Tyler demanded the names of anyone in town who didn't come to the meeting. Okay. Names were given immediately. There was no torture at play here. Everybody knew what was happening. Like, oh, we have to sell these motherfuckers out.

Yeah, listen, you know, you can either, you know, swear allegiance to the king, or you can swear allegiance to the unk and, like, die at the sword. Yeah, I don't see any unks here to protect you. Yeah. These men were hunted down. Then Canterbury explodes into a riot as people have a mass settling of scores against one another. This could be neighbors, but especially against local clergy. and local government men.

The bailiffs and arm of the local government used to collect taxes, among other things, were beaten to death on the street. Other people were strung up. Rebels joined in with the townspeople, stole all the government documents, and set them on fire. Word of what happened in Canterbury reached London. And on June 11, 1381, shortly afterwards, a royal messenger,

careful to only be carrying things signed in the name of the king rather than John Fagant wrote out to meet the rebels. Make sure the seal isn't green. Yeah. They just have a knee-jerk response like, burn that man. This is where Watt, Tyler, kind of becomes the leader. Because when the messenger shows up saying effectively, what in the fuck are you all doing? He's the one that steps forward to speak for the rebellion.

He explains they've risen up for King Richard and they would not stand down. The messenger and Tyler exchanged notes with the messenger writing back and forth between Canterbury and London, acting as a go-between. King Richard, who must have been very confused by all these people who are rising up against him while saying it was for him, actually agree to meet and hash things out. Also remember, he is 14. Yeah, he should be watching like, you know, fucking One Piece at this stage. Like, he shouldn't be King. Yeah, he should 100% be watching One Piece. He's like, Mom, I'm jerking off in my chamber.

Leave me alone. The date was set for the next day to meet in Black East. So, Watt Tyler puts out a call to his various gangs of rebels to all head and Blackheed's direction. And at this point, he could have had possibly up to 100,000 people following him. Holy fuck. Those numbers are heavily up for debate. Men came freely and left. There was no enlistment or anything.

A lot of dudes joined in for the looting and everything and then would just go back home. Yeah, they just wanted to go for like a mental health walk with the bloke. Like, you know, at this time, they could have had, you know, a can of Stella on the walk. They could have, you know, enjoyed nature. Blackheath is quite a lovely area. It's about to get a lot worse, to be fair. Yeah. It's going to be a lot more on fire and covered in blood.

And depending on the source between the books, the summer of blood and the hand of God, it goes anywhere from tens of thousands to 100,000. Either way, it's a fuckload of people. Then they pick up even more people on their way to Blackheath as they make it Down to the Thames, because news begins to spread that they're going to have an audience with the fucking king. The peasants are going to meet the king. Yeah, and the king's going to be like, y'all fuck with one piece. What do you guys think of the Fortnite Goku skit?

What, Tyler, you're kind of like Monkey D. Luffy. Have you eaten the, like, the gum gum devil fruit? Can you like stretch your arms? He's going to come down on oversized clothes like Billy Elish, made popular. Just dressed like big pawn. The mood on the banks with the rebels was compared to that of like a festival. At this point, they think that they have won. They're meeting with the king.

They'd still in plenty of food and wine, so now they're just feasting and getting blackout on the hills surrounding the Thames. Tyler was unquestionably in charge at this point. Being the point man to talk to the king's own messenger meant that he had been legitimized to the rest of the rebels. He was also smart enough to keep all of the officials he had murdered in captivity as hostages. and he used them to march into London and act as his personal messengers to people in the town as well as loudly announce

the rebel's arrival while playing trumpets which I'm assuming they did not know how to play so this is like the worst trumpet march the world has ever seen yeah it's because they hadn't invented Oasis yet so like that is the soundtrack of hundreds of thousands of men from Kent and Essex arriving into London

what Tyler shrugging on the banks of the Like, anyway, here's Wonderwall and they'd sit another house on fire. Some might say, we can't find another way. The king and his court were no longer taking these people lightly, however, probably because they could

just look out their window and see that the hillsides were covered with people. The entire royal court was a short way away, but locked into the Tower of London because it was thought to be the only place to have a safe meeting outside of Windsor. It's important to remember that they have no army to rely on here, so

this whole meeting thing cannot be a trap the king really is working on details of a meeting with Tyler and they're sending out messengers back and forth to make it happen

the rebels however just keep on doing what they've been doing they attack and loot Southwork Southwork also happens to be a the place where

there's a sizable debtors prison before because I know there's going to be comments we know what's called Southuk

Southic you stayed there two weeks ago yeah but why do I know like look English people, if you want me to pronounce things correctly, understand how the alphabet works. Yes.

Southwick. How am I supposed to get that from that word? Please, British people explain that to me. It's because English is a fake language. Fair enough. It has no grammatical structure or syntax structure. It's a fake language. It's a fake country. I am going to... It's a fake three countries. Yeah, I'm going to propagate the myth that Britain does not exist. I actually can make a good t-shirt out of that. Just like North Dakota. Yeah. Yep.

So, Suffolk happened to be the place of the sizable debtors prison, which they promptly emptied out. Yes. And in turn, a lot of the prisoners and locals joined with rebels and, you know, creating an urban rural alliance of a sort.

However, there was a small problem brewing in the rebel camp that maybe some of you saw coming, especially because we've definitely talked about this before in the past. Owing to the massive never-ending party they seem to be having, Instead of having a surplus of food, like they once had, they had partied directly through their stocks, leaving them with almost nothing. Yeah, unfortunately, there wasn't the wide availability of getting a kebab after the pool. Yeah, they really fucked that up.

Oh, boss, can I get a mixed dough please? Less salad, just lettuce, garlic sauce and chili. All right, thanks, boss, calm. There's no Brickston hot dog guy sitting outside the rebellion. Yeah, there's no Brickston hot hot hot. dog guys, they couldn't go to bagel bake yet. You know, it's kind of, they couldn't get a rotisserie chicken. Well, actually, they probably could get a

rotissory chicken. They've probably been eating a lot of rotissory chickens at this point. It's like Castlevania. They're like punching tax houses and just roast chickens fall out. God damn it, I'm hungry. Now, this is all only made worse by the fact that more and more

people kept showing up to the rebel camp and now there's no food. So now Tyler had ordered the men to be split in half, with each of them getting to eat once per day, whether it be in the morning or in the evening, but never both. So everybody gets like one meal. This, of course, led to people getting fucking pissed. So the rebel woodstock that formed on the Thames was starting to look a whole lot more like the woodstock with limp biscuit in it.

Or Altamont, where the hell's angels stabbed loads of people. Yeah, true. Altostock. Gangs of men stalked on either side of the Thames, robbing and killing and burning throughout the night. Even managing loot the palace of Lambeth, the home of the Archbishop of Canterbury. There they burned or stole church belongings and even wore his vestments around mocking him Look, you know

We all want to do that That will be fun Yeah, 100% Yeah There were other gangs of rebels joined with men that just sprung from the South of jail Who were simply hunting down and murdering lawyers Mm-hmm

Which again, who's the say that's for Beth I'm not gonna pay that child maintenance I'm not paying my child support Fuck then The onks are scheming against me To make me pay my child payment There's fringe on that English flag, which means it only falls under admiralty law. You're going to have to charge me in the middle of the Thames estuary.

Exactly. Despite this, the king agreed to meet in the morning. And here's where things get kind of weird. Well, continue to get weird, I should say. Obviously, he has to meet in the morning because he has to go for an afternoon nap. Yeah, he's 14. He's got to go for his snack, his nap, you know, watch the 360th episode of One Piece. Yeah, it's like, it's either you eat early in the morning,

so he's like had like three hours of sleep because he's been up to 5 a.m. Like watching one piece like every other teenager like I did. Drinking Mountain Dew and not going to sleep. Ye old Mountain Dew which is just like Thameswater. It has electrolytes. It's what plants crave.

What Tyler was trying to look as respectable as possible as the king and his court were inched closer to them across the Thames on the Royal Barge. He tried to like the rebels look like an army which includes like company banners and ranks and stuff like that. So it was clear that he should be respected as a commander, but most importantly, up here.

Meanwhile, John Ball had clearly not been consulted about this. Instead, he began giving sermons about equality, saying that in the Garden of Eden, who between Adam or Eve was a king, a noble, or a gentleman, explained that if God wanted men to be divided, he would have said so from the very beginning. In a sermon, which is quoted, might sound very familiar in a certain kind of way,

quote, there be no villains or gentlemen, but we all be united together, no greater masters than we. This kind of sounds familiar in a way. So as he's doing this, he's getting the rebel's blood all angered up while Watt Tyler's trying to get them to act normal. Guys, can you just like chill out a little bit? Could you stop stabbing that lawyer for five seconds? I heard they got gold rings inside them.

Lawyers are famously like a barn brack. This one's only full of roast chicken. Mmm, soft squishy red roast chicken Most of them are still shit-faced Making the scene much crazier A lot of them are just brutally hung over at this point The court man were probably getting pretty fucking scared Watching what was going on in front of them at the banks of the Thames

Because remember, up until this point The message the rebels had been sending out was Actually we love the king But things certainly did not look that way So King Richard ordered the barge to stop deciding that going to the rebel-controlled shore meant everyone was probably going to die. Yeah. So we sent someone ahead to say the king would personally receive a petition from the rebels

rather than a formal meeting that they had originally agreed on. So a list of demands was set. And we aren't entirely sure who wrote it, but it really does seem like it was probably John Ball because it was significantly more religiously radical than anything what Tyler had been saying up until that point. Also as well, the very first line is, fuck it, we ball. Yeah, ball is life.

That's a seal. His coat of arms. The list of demands weren't fair pay or taxation or even the freedom of the serfs. Rather, it was the heads of the entire royal court other than the king himself. Oh, so we need to kill all the onks. Yeah, that's right. Unks slaughter. Unksaker to be then stuck on poles around London.

So the court then decided they need to get the fuck off the river and make back for the tower of London where it was safe. They sent one final message to the rebels saying if they wanted to continue negotiations, they could petition again at Windsor. This infuriated Ball and tidler. They sought as a direct middle finger. The king or in their minds the court blew off their agreed upon meeting date, place, and time. The men were furious, mostly because Ball's preaching, but now there's even more evidence, as Ball pointed out to the king's barge and said, look, they don't care about you. they won't even come over and talk to you like men. Oh, this is not good rallying rhetoric for a group of between 50 and 100,000 men

who have just destroyed everything in their past. Yeah, yeah. Tyler or Ball or maybe Kerr, we don't know, pointed that, hey, the London Bridge is a short few hours away from here. We could just go to London. So they begin marching. Yeah. Meanwhile, the rebellion continues to spread.

More houses, more businesses, and everything in between burns as the rebels march towards the bridge. Oftentimes, it's locals joining in and burning their own shit down. For example, rebels burned down southern businesses. Virtually every time a local neighborhood joined in the rebellion, they would turn on their neighbors, which when you think about it makes sense. These are rebels that really do not have a higher political ideology, but they do have an expansive list of grievances. So their personal revolt means settling. them. Yeah, we love settling

scores, whether they're personal, political, religious, and it just so happens that that guy owes me for the pair of shoes that I made him. Yeah, that dude owes me sick, groats. Yeah, give me my groats. Give me them groats, run them

groats, motherfucker. They eventually get to the London Bridge, which has an issue. Namely, the London Bridge is a drawbridge. Meaning it can be taken up in order to protect the city, which they had done. So now the rebels are sitting on one side of the bridge and the people of London City were standing on the other just kind of staring across. And most importantly, the rebels are still just attacking and torching things at random on their side, which the people in London are just kind of watching as a spectator sport.

Yeah, it's like, look, we don't know if they can swim. Also, the Thames has like an insane undercurrent as well, so you can't really swim across. I haven't told it's mostly like suicidal to try to swim in it. it is pretty much like you are going to die meanwhile rebel leadership made sure to stand at the end of the bridge and yell across it

hey we're not going to destroy London we're not going to rob anybody instead we just want to pass through your streets and hunt down traitors in fact if you let us across we'll even buy things from local shops at market prices

we won't even haggle over any of them groats yeah we got all these groats that we've stolen on the way. Would you like a chalice or some priest's vestments? Would you like a priest vestments? Would you like this chalice that's only slightly covered in blood? Would you like a sack full of veneers? Yeah.

Grotes is fine too. Bring back bartering. We have invented our first cryptocurrency called tooth coin. Meanwhile, the mayor of London, Walworth, was standing there and realizing there is no way he can appease these people forever. Like someone who's going to control the British people, is eventually going to let it down.

He's only one man. The city guard does exist, but there's literally nothing they could do against this many people. Yeah, it's like, when you think about it, like, being in that position, it's like impossible to make

any decision that doesn't have the worst possible outcome because, like, lower the bridge, let them in, in good faith that they aren't going to sack the city and like they might trade, whatever, they just want the traders. Still, hundreds of people are going to die.

Also, as mayor of London, you probably have to think I'm probably one of the people considered a traitor. Yes. And do I let them in while they're not too pissed off or do I let them sit across the bridge

and get angry and angry that they have to wait and then they make it across? Yes. There's also the small problem that the commoners of London were starting to empathize with the rebels

and yell at him lower the fucking bridge. So he did. And soon thousands of men were pouring into the city. Londoners join in and on the other side of the city more rebels burst through the old gate

where they were not let in politely so again there's a good example like they were coming in yeah and it's great that you know a historical lyricist Fergie then later wrote a song about this how come every time you come around my London London Bridge is coming down

funnily enough the video for that is recorded on Tower Bridge and not London Bridge Fergie I'm ashamed of your a historical music video yeah like great historiography but you know unfortunately is lacking in geographic expertise. Hate that.

Yeah. This first target was, of course, the debtor's prison. Thousands more people quickly joined their ranks. Then they began to march directly through Ludgate, and what amounted to be a gated community for London's wealthy? Honestly, when, because they announced soon that, like, Klarna and stuff is going to be reported on your credit report. Like, they are going to bring back debtors prisons.

Like, people have bought so much stuff from Sheen and not paid it off that, like, Like, the fucking prison they're going to be full of people. The debtor's prison brought to by Klarna and sponsored by Chiforres. Yeah, I'm going to be locked up in prison because I bought that Afghan 9-11 rug on pay later. Worth it. Now, one of these houses included John of Gaunt Savoy Palace. This is considered one of the most outlandishly expensive, over-the-top palaces in England, and maybe even Europe as a whole.

and it's more fitting for a king than a duke. And the thing is huge. It doesn't exist anymore because, you know, they burned it down. Soon, yield suburbia burned, along with the local hospitaler temples and churches. The hospitaler temple also happened to be where a massive number of legal documents were held. So, of course, they were captured, piled up, and burned. Finally, the rebels may have disavoy palace. Thousands of men went wild, looting anything they could get their hands on, while others didn't even wait

for them to be done looting it, to set it on fire while they were still inside. Once again, people don't talk about how important looting is to men's mental health. I know. And the other guys are just trying to harsh their mellow, you know? Yeah, like we talk a lot about how it's never a good time to go camping with 10,000 to your friends. Sometimes it is really good to go for a mental health walk with 100,000 of your friends. Sometimes it's fun to go looting with 10,000 of your homies. Yeah. However, Watt Tyler had given explicit orders that men were not supposed to steal from the palace for themselves.

They were supposed to loot for the commons. So when he caught a few people pocketing things for themselves, he had them thrown back into the palace as it burned. Ah, that is a interesting choice to shell power. Yeah, I'm also really surprised it worked. Because they really did seem to be stealing a lot of things for themselves up to this point. I mean, if you bring 100,000 people to essentially besiege a city, they are going to like steal a spoon.

Yeah, and you have to think of like the kind of wealth that these people are seeing. Like these are people from like mostly the villages of Hent and Essex. And now they're in the craziest looking palace in all of the kingdom. Literally 40 years ago, half the population was wiped out. Yeah. This is like after the Taliban took over Afghanistan. You saw the picture of like the Taliban in like General Rushid Dostom's palatial estate. and just like fucking around on his personal gym

like this is exactly what that's like from here the rebels broke into other groups raiding and burning other parts of London like Westminster and Newgate before doubling back and rejoining one another only to break apart again and lash out of other buildings and free more debtors prisons

though strangely the rebels were holding to their promise somewhat they were only attacking people they saw as traders granted that is a very fluid statement those were largely the nobles and the gentry and people and properties connected to them really the main reason for that so far at least is that petty grievances

of Londoners had not become part of the revolt the petty grievances of Londoners is a sentence that is ever ever accurate like back then it was whatever I don't know fucking can't get enough growth now it's oh they're parking line bikes outside my house That's enough to burn the city down

These were largely rural people Who didn't know anyone or anything About London other than the London elite Owing to the fact they ran the country However, that was changing Londoners were joining in And with them they brought the same beefs That the rest of the rebels brought with them

When they joined the movement Soon gangs of Londoners were stalking the city Knifing those that wrong them Burning and looting as the rebellion continued the same kind of spread ahead up until this point Knife goes in, Luke comes out. Life goes in, Luke comes out. I really could use a roast chicken right now.

Stab, step, step, step, step. The growing amount of violence probably wasn't helped by the fact that they did not understand that a lot of the prisons in London were not debtors prisons. Yeah. They were just prison prisons.

So they just unleashed wave after wave of rapists and murderers onto the streets as well. Yeah. It's like, whoops all crimes. Oh, well. When you're running a revolt, right? And you want to be able to commit violence. where better to go than the experts at like murderers, ink.

Yeah, you need to liberate the prison full of Flatnell's geysers back onto the streets. However, I should point out that so far, most of the violence was still not indiscriminate. For example, one of the men they dragged out of the street and beheaded was a man named William Leggett. He's a very wealthy lawyer who had a reputation for building something called man traps that he would put in ditches around London. and it's they're poor people this like there is this is the same

the same person who does this would 100% go in a fox hunt there is a kind of like a folklorist and people who are into like metaphysics and stuff

like a theory of like there is a energy and spiritualism within the land that affects how people are and it's like this is just what Britain is like

a man traps guy like everyone in Britain either wants to be the guy in the Falklands who like essentially went Rambo before Rambo the guy setting up the man traps or they want to be the Wirral Cap Man like those are the you know which way Western man it's like which way British man you can either be a costume sex pervert roaming the countryside you can be putting like snares in the ditch to capture your common man or you can just be like I just want to drive a white BMW and you know what the worst part is

the catman would get caught slithering into the ditch and get caught in the man traps even though he's a cat man or you want to be like the bloodthirsty soldier of fortune who like wants to you know shoot people of a different color

which is arguably I think one of the strongest impulses of British men sometimes those are the same guys yeah well we see they haven't caught the cat man yet so he could be all four yeah it's the cat the cat guy used to work for blackwater Many people don't know this. As the rebellion grew, their anger became much less directed,

and soon individual gangs banned together to hunt down the people they hated or simply owed money to. Now, the Tower of London is not far away from all of this burning. They were watching it happen, and the royal court was still held up inside. Many of them were watching their own personal properties burned down as a growing crowd gathered outside the tower, demanding the king come out and meet them like they originally promised, threatening a 14-year-old like,

Come on, now, face me like a man. Nobody in the court knew exactly what to do. They knew they didn't have the force needed to suppress the rebellion. According to the mayor, who was now inside the tower with them, most of the city guard had joined the revolt. The story, as it is told, is the 14-year-old king was still largely being controlled by the Council of Unks, and this is what finally broke him of that. And Richard, surprise, surprise, really had ceased to understand what was happening.

namely where exactly the rebels fell on him as king since it started off with them virtually worshipping him and now they were burning down London so he sent a message out against the will of the court offering any and all rebels who simply went home complete amnesty he is experiencing a life experience that I think has only been felt by like members of BTS

like BTS BTS stands are this level of fanatical about, you know, German and John Cook as these people are about Richard II. They must have been really happy when they did their two years

in the South Korean army. Like, nobody will bother me in the barracks. The messenger was literally laughed at carrying the message of an amnesty. Instead, the rebels had to counteroffer, the heads of all the traitors, and a total abolishment of the surf system. And this brought serious problems

to the court and the king. It was clear that if the rebels really wanted to, they could almost certainly storm the Tower of London. The only reason they had is, respect to the king, I suppose. The king did not want to hand over his court, many of whom were his family,

and had effectively raised him, knowing they would certainly be torn apart. So, he tried to politic them. That's going to work. Remember, he is 14. This is not a good place for him to be. Oh, do you guys like One Piece? Do you guys want to hang out and play Xbox

with me? I got the new expansion pack for Fortnite. You can play is Goku. He wrote another message saying the same. Everyone would be pardoned if they went home, but they could also write the king personally of their grievances, and he would do his personal best to handle them. Now this only pissed him off

further. They saw it is another form of disrespect. Another way to drown the regular people with the weight of administration in writing. Something that to be clear, these people were not able to do for the most part, and that is something the king knew. And the rebel are like, that's unc talk right there. Yeah. You're

Yeah, it's a real, like, it's a real unc move. To be fair, I do want to, not unk talk, but I really want to be on unk talk. I want to see, like, all the tick-talking uncles. Oh, my God. We need, I do like the idea of an unc talk because it segregates them to a place where they can only talk to each other. Yo. It's kind of, actually, no, someone did make a sketch about this a few years ago. I remember it's like, uh, it's like daycare for uncles.

So the rebels decided that anyone in London who could read, to write a letter, legal letter, needed to be beheaded so they could show the king what they really thought of his offers. They're doing Paul Potchette. Exactly. It's the English Cameroon. Oh, God, no. The English Comer Rouge is

such a cursed concept. Yeah, yeah. Because English people would love to do it. Yeah. I don't think glasses were a normal thing yet, but they'd definitely kill people that wore glasses. Yeah. But anybody who could write a legal document get dressed. dragged over to Cheapside and beheaded on Bread Street and Milk Lane.

After some men of the court in the tower began to demand the king attack the rebels, it was clear that negotiations would not work. So Walworth heavily pointed out, most of the rebels were pretty fucking drunk most of the time. So if we wait until nighttime where they're all tuckered out and hung over and we sent a force out against them, it would not be hard to defeat them, or at least drive them away. There were many war veterans who had gotten wildly well.

over the course of the Hundred Years' War and had used that well to purchase properties in and around London, and it would certainly side with the king and, of course, bring their men at arms, who are, it's easy enough to think of them as like a private army. And there's hundreds of these around London. However, others in the court

pointed out that any raid would, you know, be insanely destructive because now Londoners were the biggest part of the revolt. Yes. There's nowhere to drive them away from. They are our home team. Yeah, once again, It is like going to see Millwall, West Ham, and then trying to get the tube home.

It's like, you're going to get a clump. That'd be an experience. Like, it's like watching wild animals, like at a safari. Is there a train that rides directly next to their train that we could gawk at them from? Actually, oh, when was it? It was, I think maybe like six weeks ago or so I was at Liverpool Street Station and I was like waiting for my train. So I sat and like the people who know Liverpool Street Station well, was like, I was sitting beside the ATMs on that bench that they're and I think Spurs were playing

and there was like two like massive groups of fans that were just singing at each other and I was like that's what I imagine this is like. The do those eventually turn into fist fights or this is more of a West Side Story situation or it's more foot stomps and finger snaps. Yeah, it's a bit more of that also football fans would fucking hate that you as compared it to West Side Story. And they should stop being so much like a fucking musical. Several of the men at the court with military experience actually suggested the opposite of military action. I assume because they know the kind of horrific violence they were going to be looking at. Yeah, you know, because London wasn't that.

It was still big, but it wasn't that big. And suddenly you have like 100,000 guys who are out for unc blood in the city. Cheapside has turned into like beheading square. Yeah. They are operating on like 40K orc logic. 100%. They have begun worshipping Gok and Mock.

They want more DACA on their wagons. Or is it Gork and Mork? It's Gork and Mork. I think I've committed to Ork heresy. For a man who was recently taking up a Warhammer miniature painting, you should know this. I play Imperial Guard.

Howard. Howard. You play some real shit. Play tow or play ork. Look, the tow are like, you could cut the towel out of 40K lore nobody would notice, first of all.

No, they're not. Okay. You know, the, the tower are cool, the necrons are cool, and the orcs are cool. Oh, I'm going to play as a human unless I can't relate to the game. No, I just wanted to send wave after wave of conscript to their death. Yeah, you know, for fantasy and sci-fi author, you seriously lack imagination. I'm not going to disagree there. Yeah, see, orcs are like the perfect faction because you have to believe it.

You have to believe it to build it. Yeah, you have to believe in the gork and the mork and putting more DACA on your fucking wagon to go behead lawyers at Cheapside. Yeah, and then you need like an orc kind of grinds, influencers. On that green skin mindset. Yeah, get on the green skin mindset.

You know, you need to move to Ork City and you need to grind out, you know, suddenly you will build a fortress. You will build a large machine just because you have willed it to be. I think they use teeth as current. Yes. Horns, I think it is. Whatever, teeth and horns. Yes. One is the dollars and one is the sense. We'll let you be the judge.

What's the groats? I think those are just, you know what I'm saying? They're the groats. Several of the men in court that had military experience point out that like, look, we've dealt with rebellions, we've dealt with armies. These people are not an army. They're not a unified body. If we just give them some of what they want, the vast majority of them are probably just going to fuck off and go. home. And whatever's left behind, we'll probably be able to deal with. And by June 14th, the king had decided on a compromise. He ordered Walworth to send for the sheriff and various aldermen of London and through them ordered all the people in the city between the ages of 15 and 60, notably taxable age, to leave the city and head for mile N. And the king would meet them

personally there. It's not too far away from the Tower of London. It's an area that some rebels had already camped out before so they could probably think of it as like home turf in a way and the goal was to lead the rebels away from the Tower of London so the royal court with a death warrant hanging over their head

could escape using their own king as bait which is kind of fun I mean look you know at this time and for a long time the king was kind of disposable yeah I mean again he is a 14 year old famously Richard the 3rd was buried

underneath a car park oh don't worry this king Richard is about to have a horrible, horrible death eventually. I know how King Richard the second dies. The king only took advisors with him who had not been openly threatened with murder, which was admittedly only about three people of his royal court,

as well of a large party of knights to protect him. And a large party is only like 20 guys at this point. Not nearly large enough should anything go sideways. And things were not calm. As the king was like walking through the streets, he's on horseback. People were like throwing stuff. And one guy literally grabbed the king's horse by its reins, pulled the horse down, punched it, and started screaming at the king.

Yeah, I mean, look, you know, sometimes you've got to fight a horse. I hate when you got to fight a horse at the unction, you know. I ever been so bad you threw a haymaker at the king's horse? Hey, that's a good double-layer joke. I've never been so mad I wanted to physically assault a horse. I don't, like, these guys must be, and not to mention, remember. remember, most of these guys are blind fucking drunk on a mix of Stella and the world's nastiest wine. Once again, it is Liverpool Street at 11 p.m. on a Thursday night. Yeah, I bet I bet like

tonight I'll see someone punch a horse. Yes. Well, maybe not tonight. Maybe not. Well, actually, we'll see. Maybe. I'll keep you updated. I'll keep you updated in the horse assault case. It's really strange because like the area I live in, like, I very rarely see police like aside from and they're like driving through. There is currently kind of a gang war going on near where I live. So like people are getting stabbed. Yeah, the groats versus the scroats. Yeah.

But quite often I see police on horseback for some reason. Weird. Back in the Netherlands, I have seen police and horseback during the NATO summit. And they just like shit all over the streets. It's wonderful. Horses. Don't like them.

Everybody's right. Can't trust them. Punch the king's horse. Animals shouldn't have anxiety My dog is anxious Whatever I leave the room There you go Animals shouldn't have anxiety

Anxiety is for people And and poodles No No animals should have anxiety Make anxiety Human again Yes exactly And just think of what all this looks like

To this 14 year old king It must have looked like He went on an alien planet The king never talks to peasants Yeah And now he's riding in a mob of them One of them decked his fucking horse And they're all, like, covered in black soot from constantly burning shit down.

They're covered in blood from the constant stream of beheadings that's happening in Cheapside. Some people are carrying severed heads. Yeah. They're either blind drunk or terribly hung over. It must have looked absolutely insane. Yeah. Now, the king makes it to Miles End, but none of the rebel leaders had come. Ball and Tyler remained at the Tower of London with a massive body of men,

meaning nobody inside was able to escape as originally planned. Once again, Joe, it's mile end, not miles end. The people are screaming at you in the comments. Mile end. Well, there's a difference between a mile and miles, okay? Debatable, but go on. He's not called Mile Davis. But what if there's more than one of them?

He's moving back and forth very quickly, so it looks like two. Then it's Mile Davises. Miles Davises. long distance runner and jazz improvisation miles davis but still thousands of rebels made the trip and the king then asked rebels to pick a leader from amongst themselves and come forward and talk to him and again he was like what are you doing and what can i do to help you the rebels this time around very moderate because their leadership isn't there they ask for freedom manumission from serfdom They ask that no one be compelled to work unless it's by choice under mutually agreed upon contract and what amounted to be rent control.

They didn't demand the heads of anyone. They didn't demand a fundamental change of government. They didn't ask for like a fundamental change of the Catholic church. And to this, the king agreed immediately on the spot. The crowd immediately deflates. They have no idea how to respond to this. They didn't never, they never expected. this. The revolutionary fervor, if you want to call it, immediately leaves their bodies. And

it's kind of like, you know, a dog catches the car that's chasing. And then the king, well, he may have been caught up in the moment because he goes further. Okay. Because it's important remember how much of a fundamental change to England this agreement would make on the spot. And then he decides, it's like, I understand your complaints against the members of the court. You see them as being traitors. So I am deputizing you to hunt down traitors throughout England and bring them to the king's court for judgment. That's not a good idea. No, it's a death squad.

He just greenlighted a death squad. Yeah, it's, you know, ye old Khmer Rouge. Yep, once again, it's the British, it's the English Camer Rouge. This is a bit of a problem when everybody knows exactly where the men they think are traitors are hiding. And now, they have all been greenlit. In seconds, the thousands of rebels that were chilling in front of the king just broke, got into a sprint towards the tower of London.

The king shrugged and left towards Bainard Castle. He was like, yeah, not going back there. Oh, fuck it, I'm gone. Some people have argued that, like, he didn't know what was going to happen. He said, bring them to the king's court for judgment, not, like, become a death squad.

But there's thousands of people. They have beheaded several hundred people at this point. They have burnt down massive swaths of the city. You've seen these things. And you're like, well, they'll surely listen to me. Meanwhile at the tower, things were gripped. As the attitude in the crowd began to change, there's maybe a hundred guards in the tower. And from the change in energy outside, they knew they were quite screwed. And things in the tower were getting quite bad anyway, because the rebels

had blocked off anybody from getting inside with, like, food and water. Yeah. And the Tower of London was not stocked. Like, it was going to be the victim of a prolonged siege. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ball and Tyler were outside, urging them closer and closer and screaming in the guard's face to lower the drawbridge and stop protecting the traitors. And the guards eventually got word of the king's orders. And it's like, well, he kind of made them all more powerful than we are. Okay. There inside the Tower of London is the Duke of Sudbury, the Archbishop Canterbury.

like the number one public enemy number like I'll say like 1.5 because of course John of Gaunt is number one but he's fucked off to Scotland he's nowhere near any of this and there's a lot of reasons why they want Sudbury's head and a fair amount of that is mostly coming from Ball as the Archduke of Canterbury he had excommunicated Ball four times and threw him in prison three times so like John Ball definitely like whipping up the crowd for his person grievance there. Yeah. But also as Archbishop of Canterbury, he is, like, giving a religious veneer to a lot of this rushing taxation and these feudalism laws and served him and all this other shit. And he is the pinnacle of the things that need to die for this more equitable version of the church to be built. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So he's in the Tower of London. The guards simply drop the bridge and stepped aside. Like, well, I mean, if the king gave you permission, we have no power. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The rebels rushed into the tower. They kind of, like, mock the guards and, like, pointed at him and stuff. Yeah. John of Gaunt wasn't there, but many people connected to him were.

Yeah. They, like, worked for his house, so to say. And they were quickly captured, as was the Archbishop. Everyone captured had a hood thrown over their heads. It got smacked around a bit, led over to Tower Hill, and were beheaded. Fawn. Yeah. Oh, even funner, though.

None of these guys were good executioners. Oh, no. So it was a whole lot of, like, chopped wood. trying to get the heads off. Someone said it took like nine times to get the archbishop's heads on. And he was probably alive for at least half of that.

Oh, God. Look, you know, you got to give it to the French. The guillotine is just an incredible invention. I mean, one of the greatest grifts that existed back in the day was to be an executioner because people would pay them extra to make sure the axe was sharp. Yeah. So they didn't fuck up the job.

Nobody there got paid that day. No groats going around. No groats. The rebels had gotten what they wanted. Their arch-trader, minus John of Gaunt, of course, was dead. But that led to a strange little problem. Uh, what now? These men who were given the junior sheriff's badge to hunt down anyone they consider traders

were now entirely charge of London. And the king was right in one thing. Giving into the demands of the rebels did make a lot of them go home, especially after they chopped off the archbishop's head. However, those were the chillest of rebels. Left in London were the true radicals. They saw traitors fucking everywhere. And just like with the Archbishop, they were not going to submit them to the court.

In their heads, the king's order made them the court. Oh. Now gangs of rebels stocked the city under severed heads of the royal courtmen held aloft on spears. They found more people, they considered traitors, more beheadings took place, and more heads were added to set spears. So it just kind of looks like a kebab at this point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nothing and nowhere were off limits from their hunt,

even Westminster Abbey, which also happened to be a place where a lot of people had hidden knowing that they would fall into the traitor category. Yeah. It did not take long for groups of rebels to find them, start beating the shit out of them, and like capturing them in thereafter. They were dragged over the cheap side to get their heads hacked off

by the neighborhood's worst executioner. And again, their heads were added to the, Spears, which at this point must have been very heavy. In the middle of all this, distinctly non-rebels would make up fake charges against business competitors and tell the rebels of their crimes, real or imagined, who in turn

would cut heads off, then the original guy who accused them would just take over their business. One man, a local fishmonger, turned his once small business into a monopoly in one neighborhood because he had ratted out all of his neighbors for fake crimes.

I am Captain Birds, I know. And in case you're wondering, yes, this is when a large group of armed Englishmen also turned on any foreigners they found, namely, the Flemish. What's their reasoning? Fuck them, that's why. I mean, mostly boiled down to the same reason anybody hates foreigners. Yeah. It's like, oh, the reason why I don't have X or Y is because of them.

The reason why my shitty fishmonger business is going out of business is because the Flemish. There's also a lot of Germans and Italians around. too. They also got murdered. But yeah, they really, really poured out some hatred for the Flembs. It's like, when you were started that sentence, I was like, here comes the anti-Semitism. If they could have found him for sure. If they found any population, any notable population of Jewish people, definitely the same thing would have happened. Yeah, yeah, yeah. By June 15th, the rebels were effectively in control of London. The army was either still in France or on the Scottish border, and everyone tasked with maintaining order in England was either executed by, you know, giving them permission to do it, which of course, the king was regretting.

Tyler and Ball had ignored any other royal messengers since they're given the keys to the city. Rumors flew that they're just going to finish the job, go after the king, destroy the church, and replace it with their pseudo-Jesuit apostolic mashup that Ball believed in. But the most popular and widely believed rumor in the court was that they were going to burn all of London to the ground. Which to be fair, they're doing a lot of heavy lifting As to why they would believe that So the king turned to Let's call it the military solution to this issue

Walworth, the mayor, as well as John Philpott An alderman and member of the Grocers Guild And Nicholas Brambert The former mayor of London And one of the most wealthy men in the city Now none of these men were military guys But their idea was, hey, we got money Let's just hire a bunch of guys

to fuck these people up. I mean, this was common as well, and they could rely on loyalists with their men at arms to give Ellie some professional soldiers to this whole deal. The military thinking is left to another advisor, Sir Robert Knowles, a war hero who had taken two French cities during the 100 years war and had such been made fantastically wealthy and had several minute arms.

Any worries about order, making the rebels happy, so they'd go home, shit like that. None of that was there this time around. It was decided that whatever damage they did destroying the rebels was less damage than the rebels would do if they were left alone. So, the king ordered his advisors to mobilize their private armies.

Meanwhile, it was decided that they should probably try and just get the rebels out of the city walls to make any battle easier. So the king would try the same thing he did at Mile N. He would send a message, asking for the rebels to come and meet him personally,

this time at Smithfield. A semi-enclosed field normally reserved for festivals and the occasional execution. For example, that's where William Wallace got executed and his guts burned in front of him and his dick and balls cut off. And his grill falling to the ground.

Yeah. RIP, Grealian Wallace. That's right. Never forget. Once again, thousands of rebels gathered waiting for the king. When the king arrived with his party, they personally demanded Watt Taylor

stepped forward to speak with them. So Watt Taylor, chest out, fucking proud as shit that the king knew his name, did as he was told. Yeah. This time around things had changed, though. The entire point of this rebate,

from many of their perspectives in the beginning was the return power the boy king with the idea that he'd been corrupted by of course the council of unks

chaired by unk John of Gaunt but he himself was revered as a savior of the people if only he was allowed to rule but now Tyler

he didn't kneel before the king he wouldn't take off his hood he didn't get off his horse he didn't even call him king instead he called him

brother And you can just imagine the recoiling and horror going through the king He Hulk Hoganed him I mean this could be This is why I generally believe that I think to understand the revolt

You need to understand it as John Ball is in charge He's the guiding force between this Behind all this Because Watt Taylor was not talking like this before Or maybe he was just high on success Because look at all of they've done This man just execute the Archbishop of Canterbury

He's just there running on the DJ Khalid We the bass Exactly He dreams of being Mr. Worldwide But worldwide is just England Because that is the only world he's ever conceptualized Yeah Of course the king does not respond well To the show of equality

And instead asks him why he wouldn't leave London Which Tyler responds that he demands a charter One that fault balls thinking Ie an abolishment of nobility Though the king would remain but as an equal ruler to a parliament of the commons the true commons

not the house of commons as it currently existed the church should be transformed the one that ball dreamed of also going back to the doomsday book we talked about in part one the book that all of these guys believed was the true law of the land

because they got fleeced by some sovereign citizen lawyers Taylor demanded the book become the only law of the land and called it the law of Winchester now this was actually a thing that existed I should stop and point out, but Tyler was just wrong at what the law was.

Because, of course, he was. The man could not read. It had nothing to do with the Doomsday book. Rather, it was the Statue of Winchester from 1285 that he was referring to. Even if he didn't know it, because why would he? It effectively devolved government power away from a central body to local ones, including policing, taxation. Virtually all matters were supposed to come down to a kind of collective responsibility. which makes sense in context.

It was written in 1285. A centralized government was just not possible. So this was a way for a kingdom to work. But it wasn't based on serfdom, hypothetically. But of course, that is what it turned into. But the long heads and lungs that's kind of fallen in a favor and ended. It's been almost 100 years. They also demanded full manumission or an end to English serfdom,

as well as any class-based laws that limited what the newly freedmen could do, eat, or own. Then to the absolute shock of Tyler and the gathering rebels, the king smiled and said, all right. Yeah, he's 14. Well, it was a trap.

The king told Tyler, the only thing I'm saving is my crown. This is a trap. And this is where we'll pick up on our conclusion to our series on the English Peasants Revolt 1381. Yeah, brother. Listen to your brother.

You're going to give us equal representation in terms of the law and the government and we're going to pay less taxed brother. He's hitting with the classic Hogan of like, that doesn't work for me, brother. Don't turn this shoot into a work. Don't turn this work into a shoot. But that is part three. How are you feeling?

I am excited to hear how this goes very, very, very wrong for Richard the second. It goes really wrong for everyone. But we do get introduced to probably my favorite guy in the story in part three. Okay. So I'm really looking forward to that. But that is a podcast. Tom, you host another podcast. Beneath Skin show about the history of everything, told you the history of tattooing. I also have books for sale on beneath the skin shop.com. We also have a live show in Glasgow on the 3rd of October. At the Flying Duck in Glasgow, tickets will be available in the description of this episode. Come see us live. I will be dressed as Grillian Wallace. And it is a really big venue. So it would be really nice if we didn't feel bad about that. Come, convince your friends to come.

You will have fun. Everybody enjoys it or else. There will be goofs, gaffs, and maybe even some japes. That's right. This is the only show that I host. Thank you for listening to it. If you like it, consider supporting us on Patreon. Five bucks gets you absolutely everything.

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