Lions Led By Donkeys Podcast - Episode 385 - The Texas Revolution: Part 4

Episode Date: October 27, 2025

The conclusion to our series on the Texas Revolution! SUPPORT THE SHOW ON PATREON AND GET OUR NEXT EPISODE RIGHT NOW! https://www.patreon.com/posts/early-episode-of-142158449

Hello and welcome to the Lions and By Donkey's podcast. I'm Joe and with me's Tom and Nate. The Bucky's Revolutionary Committee has broken down. Ever since that man was raptured out of the bathroom, leaving only his shoes, a powerful spell. A cult has formed in his wake. The dissidents in the snack aisle have put down their arms, but only thanks to another man who has proclaimed himself the one true pastor of the holy asses. And he claims he speaks to the missing man, who they believe has ascended to a higher plane of being. We aren't entirely sure what to do, but we see which way the wind is blowing. We daub our face in the holy sacrament and join in an evening.

chanting. Bellas, how are you doing? I love that my shoes have become a venerated object. It's like a

saint's finger. Or like a, yeah, like a saint's finger, Mary Magdalens' bones that is like contained in that absolutely insane

sarcophagus in Spain, I think. Yeah. When they take people on a tour of it, they're like, you know, this is the place

where he heed his last half. And so sometimes if you come to, pay pilgrimage and pay homage to the objects at a certain time of the day you can get the faint humid smell the last thing though came here was yehaw

it even goes into the distance I know me and Joe talked about on a previous episode can't remember Nate if you were on it or not but like whenever you go into like a public toilet you can always tell someone has just eviscerated the porcelain by there's just a faint humidity in the air

yeah yeah I've got a really good one for you one time I had an appointment and I needed to eat lunch and there was this restaurant. I was a, I mean, I feel a little worse about it now back in the day. It was in New York. It was an Israeli restaurant. But I'm like a lot of fucking, they stole a lot of food that's good. Anyway, so I got lunch and I got, but it was like, but the problem is an Israeli restaurant in the East Village is that like, it's primarily just like Jewish boomers who have zero

fucking manners. And I know this because I know this from my family. And basically got asked by like some insane lady to leave my table because she wanted to take my seats so it really wasn't an Israeli restaurant and I went to and I was like fuck what am I going to do? I need to eat this and this fucking East Village was like basically nowhere this can get I want to be able to sit and eat this before

I have this appointment and I go and I'm like there's nowhere. It's so raining outside of shit and so I'm like for you know what I'm just going to do this sad high school or move. I never did this in high school but I have friends who did and eat my lunch in the bathroom and I'm like I know there's a bathroom on the floor of this office and like no one's ever in it and then I went in and someone had taken the raunchy

shit sat there eating my tuna salad sandwich with Horissa and slices of hard boiled eggs and be like God hates me and this shit fever God fucking hates me so much for being God's chosen people yeah we are

this is what he chose for us you're driven across the restaurant into the bathroom and when we left you last time the Alamo fell nearly 400 Texan volunteers outside of the Saletto Creek surrendered to Mexican forces only to get massacred the Texan government was

newly independent under the turbo racist interim president, David Burnett, but also collapsing as soon as was formed as San Houston attempt to slap together something resembling an army to counter the Mexican advance towards Gonzalez. Sammy Houston's ranks are sold by over a thousand men, all following the rallying cry of remember the Alamo and remember Goliad. Though at the same time, Houston was coming to the conclusion that he and his army were the last Texan volunteer force still in the field, even if that force was still in retreat. By mid-March, Houston and his army of around 1,400 men camped outside of Beeson's crossing on the Colorado River. The river was swollen by spring rains and was completely impassable to Mexican forces, as the Texans had wrecked the only local ferry to make any crossing.

This finally gave Houston time to put his army of largely untrained randos through their paces, teaching them how to march, fire, and service their weapons. Though the respite wasn't long enough, only a few days, because before long, Texan scouts reported, that Santa Ana's army had split in half with 600 men under Ramirez Sesma marching right for them at Beesons. Instead of waiting, though, the agitated revenge-seeking volunteers demanded that Houston go on the attack, and he damn near had a mutiny on his hands when he refused to do so. Because he wasn't a tactically stronger position on the other side of the river, and they sat there for six days as Ramirez Sesma's forces were virtually with an eye shot.

Houston may have stanked like a dumpster fired and had been shit-faced drunk, but he wasn't stupid. An attack on the Mexican army would have required him to cross the same river, not to mention he had no artillery while Ramirez Sesma had several cannons. Then on the sixth day of waiting, he pissed his men off even further by ordering another retreat towards Samp Philippe, with the river acting as a perfect barricade between the two armies, so the Mexican forces lost track of him. He's making all of the right decisions, and everybody's pissed at him.

Though his retreat was so wildly unpopular amongst men, he nearly lost control of his army. even though it was absolutely the correct thing to do men began spreading pamphlets and posters in the camp demanding that he turn around and attack one of these famously said quote the enemy are laughing you to scorn you must fight them you must retreat no further the country expects you to fight

Houston was convinced he was about to be the victim of some kind of internal coup or maybe even murdered so he ordered that anyone who kept talking shit about him be taken out back and shot this seemed to calm things down at least for the time being. But there's always like a bitter fucking hatred for Sam Houston. I'm not going to talk about it throughout the whole episode,

but there's like a hardcore anti-Huston camp. And this hatred for him pretty much continues on until the end of the war because, spoiler, the Texans win. So there's a lot of immediate like, I always like Sam Houston. He's always been a good friend of mine. But up until that point,

people fucking hated him. Meanwhile, Santa Ana's forces advanced all across Texas, capturing every port other than Galveston and requiring supplies from the U.S. to support the Texans to take a very strange overland route and then down the Sabine River, it slowed them down considerably. Santa Ana's main force still camped out in San Antonio after the Alamo

finally left and met up with Ramira Sestma and another force under the command of General Tulsa at the beginning of April. Though Santa Ana was very nearly not there at all. Okay, for more Mexican political background, here. When Santana marched off in the Texas, he just handed off the office of the presidency to his political ally, again, Miguel Baragon. Baragon was, however, pretty much on death's door when Santa Ana left. He was very, very sickly. And then on the 1st of March, 1836, he died,

setting Mexico to yet another political crisis thanks to Santa Ana. However, one of his aides pointed out that General de Irea, the guy who had done most of the fighting and the one that constantly told Santa Ana like, maybe don't do that, was in a better position to become president. And if Santa Ana wanted to retain his aura, so to speak, and ride home and take the presidency, because Santana

very nearly just dropped all of this and ran back to Mexico City to become president again. And like, no, no, if you do that, D. Rea can, has more clout than you at the moment. So you need to stay in Texas to destroy the rebellion once and for all. Hence why he packed up his army and marched up to meet with

Ramira Sessma and Tulsa. There's a very good, like, different branch in reality here where Santana drops everything, goes back to Mexico City, and leaves the campaign in the hands of Duri Rea, who could have won. Yeah. But alas, he does not.

Yeah, it's kind of like, you know, Santa Ana has like the level of loyalty where like being the president is his side chick. Kind of. And that like, he just cycles through the presidency constantly. And once he has it, he doesn't actually care too much about it. Yeah, he comes back to, you know, the presidential seat and he's just like, I'm sorry, baby, I've changed this time.

Now I'm a federalist. Oh, now I'm a centralist. I need another seat. I'll be back. There's another rebellion against me. I'm going to go join. Meanwhile, back with Houston, he pissed more people off. The Texan government had moved as far east as they could go, eventually landing in the town of Harrisburg.

So there's no point to trying to defend San Felipe. St. Philippe is the first Texan settlement. It's like this very important position to people who care about that kind of things. It's not tactically important anymore. The government's gone. Most of the town is gone

at this point. Houston orders it completely abandoned. And for a lot of men, that was a step too far. Two companies flatly refused to leave it. So Houston was pretty sick of these constant arguments at this point. So he kind of shrugged and said, okay, stay. If you

want, just try to hold the town in the nearby crossings of the Brazos River for as long as you could to help be out. And then he just leaves. When the combined Mexican force ran into the two companies men and the scouts report it was just a rear guard action, Santana was furious he was being held up

and wanted to close this whole thing out. He told Ramirez Sesma to handle it and then took a different detachment of a few hundred men and made for Thompson's ferry down river. The ferry hadn't been destroyed, rather been pulled across and held there. And used one of his men who spoke fluent

unaccident English, he simply sat on the bank of the river and called out to the ferrymen to bring it over. And he did, because the ferryman thought they were Texans. So he paddles across and then the 600 man detatcher just springs out from the woods and captures the ferry

at gunpoint. But they still only have one ferry. So it takes all day to slowly bring these guys across. But this outflanks the defenders of Saint-Philippe who decide to retreat. And someone, we aren't sure who, orders Saint-Philippe to be burned to the ground. The Texans at first blame the Mexicans for this,

but the Mexicans did not burn the town. It generally comes down now if it was an argument over which Texan set it on fire. Okay. The dudes holding the town later said Sam Houston ordered them to do it, which isn't true. He wasn't even there. Sam Houston trying to not blame anybody specifically for it. So, well, the citizens of the town,

seeing that the Mexicans were coming, their own town. It was probably the militia, but we have no idea. Meanwhile, Houston and his army hit out in the Brazo swamps resting, a place so thick and nasty that they knew that if Santa Ana attacked, they would be able to hold them off. The swamps are quite literally, like, for once their backyard. Yeah. Like, I said before, a lot of people say, like, oh, the Texans were fighting on their home turf when they, when they weren't. Most of those dudes are only been in Texas for as long as Tom has been in the Netherlands recording this podcast

but the swamps the swamps were these dudes made home because remember a lot of these guys are from the southern United States they're fucking swamp people yeah so they're doing like the iron sports nigger

predator covered themselves in mud it also is kind of a nice like spa retreat for these guys like you know get a mud mask you can go like float on your back in the swamp yeah go swim around some putrid swamp water

yell at any nearby donkeys are coming into your swamp. The problem is, is despite a lot of these guys being very comfortable in a swamp, a swap is still a giant vector for disease. Yes, and as we know, so far, these guys are not the cleanest. No. And it's made worse by the fact that they had no drinking water, so they just start drinking the swamp water.

Oh, that's going to like elevate a level of swamp ass to like a whole new echelon. you're just discovering out of boredom new ways to get horrifically ill yeah you're basically like you're kind of like removing the process of osmosis by making sure you have as much pollution and disease inside you as outside of you

harmonize it this is only made worse by a mass outbreak of measles whooping cough the mumps dysentery the flu and of course pink eye because they're shitting out their ass at a swamp

and not washing their hands. This is now just like the normal occurrence in like a Texas suburb because nobody's getting vaccinated anymore. RFK Jr. is the surgeon general of this RV. Have you tried drinking the swamp water?

It's the swamp version of balancing the humors. Yeah, back in those days where it's like all of the things that we've discovered that can make medicine and sanitation just a little bit easier hadn't been discovered yet.

And so they were like, yeah, what's, you know, what's the downside to going into like it is the disease vector what's the downside to go again to the place where people come out of it looking like the thing looking like you know like fucked up clay sculptures like it's just going to melt your skin and turn you into like a vat of filth but like that's kind of what we are already so sam houston was probably trying to create vodka the swamp water oh he just needed his guys to get so gross so they would ferment all of the water

you can just drink it get a buzz you know bring me another soldier and he's just like ringing like ringing out their uniform

into a cup yeah creating a Texan kimchi warriors fuck however there was one bright spot this was an

entirely a hopeless situation they camped outside of an old plantation that happened to have several doctors in it and for a lot of Texan volunteers

this is the first that they got medical care during the entire campaign these guys in this plantation are definitely like, um, to bring it back to King of the Hill again, the episode where Bill

goes to visit his cousins and I was like, oh, William, do Treve. It's so good to see you. They come out in pristine white suits. That was swinging a cane. Once the soldiers recovered from blasting shit and blood out of themselves,

they got badly needed rest, supplies, and training. Again, all while living in a swamp. So by like getting healthy, I mean, they were like actively dying from the measles anymore, but most of them still have an underlying foundational amount of flu and dysentery.

This whole situation, and I know Nate's going to correct me because it is a different state, but this is just like the setup for a William Faulkner novel. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's fair. A swamp is a swamp. Yeah. All swamps aren't created equal. Like an old plantation house filled with doctors suddenly beset upon

by swamp warriors is like a William Faulkner novel. Right. And it cuts forward to descendants of one of the swamp warriors that's trying to convince his college roommate that actually like the swamp warriors were well they were decent guys deep down you know like it wasn't that bad

I don't hate the swamp warriors I do say these swamp warriors are awfully uncouth well I believe that man should be living not in contention with nature we should embrace the swamp if we did not crawl out of the primordial slime if that is not a swamp I do not know

I mean, I will say that it's not an easy book to read, but Absalom, Absalom will absolutely explain the entirety of America because a white dude is so mad that because he's poor, he gets told to use the side door in like plantation country of Virginia that he decides to get revenge by going to Haiti and amassing an army of slaves and getting wealthy. But he commits miscegenation and the shame of this causes him to like basically set his own house on fire and destroy his entire family. Nothing could be more fucking American than that. So I'm just saying, William Faulkner, actually huge, huge, huge respect. But, you know,

it's one of those things where he was talking, he was speaking some truth. And they call that the Texan Gambit. Mississippi, but it's all right, though. Same thing. The vibe, the vibe's the same. Well, but slightly different. Mississippi is worse. Let's be fucking real here.

All swamps create that. That's about like, unify all swamps. That's my political ideology. We're creating a new equitable society in the swamp. That's right. It's the more equitable swamp. Now, all of this last, until April 12th when Houston loads his men into some riverboats and moves them across the

Brazos and back on the march. Meanwhile, Santa Ana had stopped trying to pursue Houston's army, thinking them broken and cowardly for hiding behind the river and therefore no longer a threat. Instead, he decides he's going to close out this campaign by marching as hard as possible day and night through rainstorms and like fields of mud so deep they swallow cannons to try to catch up to the rapidly displacing Texan government. By the time Santana gets to Harrisburg on April 15th, where he thinks the government is still hiding, they had already run again.

They actually had run only like 30 minutes before he got there to the point they see them on boats escaping down the river. And they just kind of go to the riverbank and do the shaking fist. Shake harder, boy, the Texas government can't see you. So he burns the town and carries. on. This time they're going towards New Washington on the East Coast. He begins marching for New Washington

only again. When he gets there, he sees the government, once again, still in eyesight, slowly escaping down the river at a boat, shaking his fist once again. Damn, you Texans! Santana decided fuck it, that's good enough.

The government's on the run. They're completely unable to govern. And assuming that Houston was now retreating towards necadocious and wanting to cut him off, he marches for Lynchburg, a town that nowhere in the south should be named after. However, that is when Erastus Smith, remember, his nickname is Deaf, working as a scout for Houston, captures a Mexican messenger, and on the messenger is a detailed map that has every Mexican troop position on it.

The one thing we didn't want to happen. Like, we are slowly collecting the military history version of see no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil, we have death, we've missed Slav the Mew, we just need a blind guy now. Yeah, that's true. This is how

Houston discovered that the entire Mexican army was not marching with Santa Ana. Prior to this, he thought that they were all on his ass, but instead, Santa Ana only had 600 men, which meant, for the first time, Houston had a numerical advantage. Imagine being

the guy who dropped the map realizing you dropped it that guy is so fired so fired he's so dead we're gonna have you just get knifed by your asthmus over there what happened next is up for debate so Houston's army is on the march

and the way that this plays out is they're marching down a road and this case it's Texas in the 1800 so it's more of a dusty a literal dusty trail and they come to a fork and said dusty trail one heads for Harrisburg and the other one heads closer to the east coast.

Houston is marching towards the back of his army and his men let out a whoop and simply bust left towards Harrisburg deciding fuck it they're going on the attack. The military formation. Whoop whoop, whoop, whoop. You're going to have a civil war between the whoop-whoops and the Yehaws.

Yeah. And as the story goes, Houston just kind of said, God damn it, and decides to march with them. Despite the fact they, the army itself has decided we're not retreating anymore. Other parts of the story say that this was always

Houston's plan. It does make sense. He does now have all of the Mexican military plans in his hands, but he's not someone who really shares his plans with anybody. So nobody who is entirely sure what his plan was at the time. I do like

the idea of the army just forcing the commander to do what they wanted to do though. Once there, Houston, A man mostly known for getting drunk, smelling like death and sleeping it off until like 10 a.m. the next morning long after the rest of his army has woken up. Gave his only speech during this entire campaign because he was not a man for motivational speeches or words. I couldn't imagine he was very eloquent, more so communicating in a series of grommel. He shouts at his men, remember the alamo and remember goliad before I assume properly doubling over and vomiting in his own mouth.

are just like farting really lovely. His visible stinklines Yeah, it feels like a lot of these sort of historic reminiscences and sort of like, you know, invocations of heroism. We've come across a little different if like they were periodically interrupted

by people just sharding really loud. It's just like making this heroic speech about et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. It's just like a massive brown stain spray. You just see like a little bit of shit coming out of the pantaloons. He holds up a finger. He's like, oh, hold on.

Oh, no, I've done and gone and shat myself again. It's like the first fucking gladiator seen in Gladiator where the dude is pissing and you see the cameras, he's dripping down his leg. Every single person shitting themselves. They all have dysentery. They're all drug to his shit off of swamp liquor.

Yeah. You're just like, God, my boots are squelchy again. Creating your own trench in Texas. That's how they actually keep cadence, keep marching in time. everyone squelches on the one

at the same time. Together they marched on cross the Buffalo Bayou on a series of log rafts which sounds fun but it was probably quite terrified. I love the idea of the one guy

who doesn't have dysentery and has to intentionally try and shit himself just to keep K-Fame he needs to be like he can't be thought of as the outcast he won't be popular

if he's still shit and solid so he's sitting there like straining like a toddler he's the one who's calling Cadence he's singing Army Cadence but about this stuff you should go like left right

left right left right left right cow wife spinning running down the street shit running down on my feet remember Francis and his cow wife yeah

and there's just the one Polish guy who's like really confused they march on towards Lynchburg and Houston forces his army and the hardest marching the Texans

had experienced thus far not stopping for anything day or night. And remember, a lot of these guys are still really, really, really sick. And several men simply drop dead on the way. I assume mid-ye-ha. Yeah. Yeah. It's cute. Quick boys, you got extra shit in his ass stealing. Get that shit. It's like sourdough starter culture for the next swamp. The ship of Theseus, except it's the amount of shit in your boots. Like, when's the stop being yours is the collective shit you've stolen off fallen soldiers? That's right.

leave 200 men behind at the burnt remains of Harrisburg because they're simply too sick to go on. But his plan worked. The Texans managed to cross the ferry before Santa Ana. Santa Ana still assuming that Houston was in retreat was furious to find him suddenly at his rear. Word of the Texans position, I assume, spread through the stink lines. Yeah, you catch him by the rear. You can definitely, they were coming from downwind. You don't even need scouts. You're just sitting there and your horse like, Texans Yeah, I love the dedication to

historical accuracy that Nate is currently suffering from what we could have coined the Texan disease That sounds like what people in Oklahoma would call being gay

The Texan disease is when your cow gets Chlamydia Not my cow wife Oh no, not my cow wife Sad yaha y'all y'all

y'all where do the Texan's position spread through Santa Ana's ranks and according to Colonel Delgado the hungry, sick and miserable conscripts that made up the detachment started talking about running before they were even ordered

to march towards Houston's men Santa Ana didn't make things better because then he mounted his horse and like pulled his sword out and attempt to rally his men and then he just stampeded over two of his own dudes Oh my God.

That's the most demotivating speech in human history. You're like, I think the general just murdered Phil. That's like a cutaway bit from like family guy. That's full on. It's like, yeah, General Patton giving a speech in chief and he forgets not put it. He doesn't put it in park. And it just lurches forward. It just knocks half the formation out.

So he eventually got his men together and marched him for the junction at Buffalo Bayou. And most importantly, the sun just. Jacinto River, getting there about 2 p.m. on April 20th. This was the ground that favored the Texans. It was marshland, there's thick groves of trees, all that served their Texan way of war of long-distance rifle shooting. They lacked, trained horsemen still, and the marshes in the trees would slow down any mountain Mexican attack, which of course they favored, while the trees would provide cover for the riflemen. Not to mention, since most Texans were from the American South, like I said, they're more than happy to fight. fight the swamp. Santa Ana was just outside that looking in and decided his men should build a camp and rest, much to the surprise of every other officer in Santa Ana's camp. The Texan forces in the muddy tree line were so well concealed that there's certainly no way that Santa Ana could actually see them. Once again, I am right in making a joke about Arnold Schwarzenegger in Predator. You just see like two white globes rising out of the swamp. Yeah, you see a soldier with a Kentucky long

rifle coated head to toe in mud his cow wife slowly rising from the swamp behind him or for a more contemporary example

for anyone who's played dead stranding the scene where you fight Clifford Unger for the first time he rises out of the goop with his goop soldiers

yeah you got to look out for the goop men he then sent soldiers towards the tree line hoping to goad Houston into

deploying his men away from his position of advantage and so he could counter with his dragoons that is when Santana discovered

hidden in the swamp was two Texas canons nicknamed the twin sisters that they opened fire with with a canister round on the Mexican soldiers. They're the twin sisters and they're both mine and I'm going to marry them both

my cannon wife. These are my canon wives. They share a bed with my cowwife. My cowwife isn't too happy about it. This sends the Mexican soldiers running and the Texans excited to see Santa Ana's men running for once, demanded

that Houston let them go on the counter attack immediately, but Houston refused knowing that's exactly what Santa Ana was trying to do. But he again feared a kind of general revolt against his command. So he allowed one man to Sidney Sherman to take a group of horsemen forward on a scouting mission to get a better look at Santa Ana's disposition, but gave strict orders to not engage. Of course Sherman ignored those orders as soon as he got them. He ordered his 61 horsemen, among them the Texan Secretary of War, Thomas Rusk to charge right at the enemy.

But here's the thing, these guys were not kidded out for mounted warfare in any capacity. They were carrying their long rifles, which were so long that after they fired, they could only be reloaded by dismounting off of the horse. Of course, as soon as they did this, Mexican dragoons armed with their own weapons, namely lances and swords, closed in for their kind of fighting. Secretary Rusk was immediately surrounded and nearly killed, but was saved at the last second by a Texan private name, Maraubo Bonaparte Lamar.

Oh, ha ha ha. What a fucking name. Say it again. Mirabou Bonaparte Lamar. Once again, Nate, that is a William Faulkner character ass name. Yeah, man, man. At first I thought it was like Maribau or something kind of like a weird Anglo-Saxon,

but Mirabot like in French, like, oh my goodness gracious. You would assume this is another one of those weird Europeans that showed up. No, this is just a guy from Georgia. Yep. it works out his parents also interestingly

first cousins he was a self-trade lawyer and failed candidate for Congress before washing up in Texas once again another self-taught lawyer well yeah also it's like you have names like this then you also have another guy who's like extremely not any kind of southern

European background whose last name his name is based like Alejandro Blump like those are just 19th century guys I was gonna say it like you have Mirabeau and beside him you have just a guy, a disgusting dirty texting guy called John Gunt.

I'm of the proud Gunt clan. Yeah, exactly. It's like John Gunt, Dick Hitler, Mirabeau Lamar. I guess this clump. Now, John Gunt would have definitely been on the Mexican side.

It just somehow ends up there. Well, it was like Bradburn in our first part of the series. Sherman then requested infantry support, which Houston refused. because again, this is turning into what he was worried about. So, one of his captains said, fuck it, and led his been Ford anyway. Other men saw this in charge Ford. It's the classic domino effect we always have talked about on here.

And before long, an entire regiment of Texans is running off without orders. And there's no order or discipline. There's no ranks. Nobody's beating drums for these guys to keep cadence. It's just random dudes and buckskins running in from the swap in various forms of horrible filth, with choruses of Yee-ha. Oh, no, they shot Augustus. They shot John Gunt.

Remember the Alamo. Remember Dick Hitler. My sweet, sweet boy, Miribo has died. What followed was more of an unorganized fistfight cluster fuck than a military battle. Texans on horseback and on foot fired wildly. People just upended the rifles and swung at Mexican dragoons with clubs

Mexicans impaled mid with lances. Lamar rode around firing guns akimbo but eventually the dragoons were driven back and the Texans were saved from accidentally wiping themselves out. But before he left the battlefield Lamar reportedly

stood up at his saddle, took his top hat off and politely bowed to the Mexicans in a gracious gesture who then clapped for him. Yay. The Mexicans are like, we fucking love that weird bastard. And before this, remember, okay, guy named Mirabeau Bonaparte Lamar from Georgia in a top hat is just firing guns in both hands.

This is like, I can only imagine a character Nate you would create in like an RPG. Like Nate's Dungeons and Dragons character. Where like all of the outfit that he's wearing is just accumulated items from across the game that don't actually fit together. it was like firing like musket pistols top hat he's not wearing any pants yeah I mean it's like when we're talking about

the soldiers in Burma who just took their pants off because they were shitting so much and they want to ruin their pants Houston was stuck dealing with the aftermath of not really being able to reprimand people because so many soldiers had ignored his orders he couldn't punish them all

exasperated by the entire situation Hughes retired to his tent and got hammered for the rest of the night. Hell yeah. And then he pissed off his men even further because he just slept in the next day. Like, he slept into like 10, 11 a.m. while in a military camp. I assume it's because he was sleeping it off, you know. Now, the Mexican stayed where they were. And that night, Santa Ana ordered his men to dig in. The next morning, the 21st, General Koss pulled into the camp, bringing another 500 men with him, canceling out the Texans demerical superiority. Though Houston did

then promote Lamar on the spot from private to commander of all of his cavalry yes yes also a bit of behind the scenes for anyone listening we're in the studio

and the hang and the room is so filled with vape smoke that like I saw myself on the camera and I was like am I on fire because I thought

there was like vapor coming off me no the room was just so filled with vap smoke it's the stink lines because you believe in method acting

I forgot that you were in the Hague and I thought you were back in your apartment in London and you just lit up a cigarette while we were podcasted genuinely when I saw it. I have done that before, but not today. No, the room is just so filled with face smoke. I may have something to do with that. Meanwhile, Houston was planning out what to do next. With his advantage now gone, he ordered a small team of riders to go around the Mexican camp and destroy a bridge. Now, this made sure they couldn't get any more reinforcements. But it also meant that the Texans had no clear route of withdrawal either. As Houston

wrote, it's either we win or we die. As this was happening, the volunteers in the camp were getting angrier and drunker. Because to them, it looked as though Houston was too afraid to fight. It is like noon now and Houston has not left his tent. A group of officers

as well as Secretary Rusk walked into his tent, which you know it smell crazy in there, to have a council of war and to try to calm them in down. This meeting was solidly split between people who were anti-Huston and pro-Huston. The Secretary of War is very pro-Huston,

but also the conduct of this beating, the story goes in wildly different directions depending on who's telling it. According to the anti-Huston faction, they effectively shouted him down into committing to an attack, but according to the pro-Huston faction and those with more of a grasp on reality,

because it's also includes Secretary Rusk, was that Houston was calmly trying to explain to them what his plan was but either way it was a screaming match that went on for hours it was four hours until they finally left his tent

Houston finally leaves his tent for the first time of the day and orders them in to line up to attack stinking like alcohol probably also solidly sauce the Texan advance was covered by a slight hill and it was covered by tall grass and they marched

through that which concealed them pretty effectively in two lines with their cannons, the twin sisters, in the middle. Just so you can picture what this army looked like in your head, this is a line from the Texian Iliot. Quote, it was those splendid army of Napoleonic proportions. The men composed every frontier variety,

from backwoodsmen and greasy buckskins to townsfolk and frock coats and top hats, to U.S. Army uniforms, to a southern man in a planter's hat, waistcoat, and cravat. I love being assaulted by the blood-born army Just like the the cue for your average Like cosplay convention

Running you down with two big cannons Behold, it's the world's worst version of the village people The society for creative anachronism shows up And there's like, why are they forming up in a regimental line here What the fuck's going on? Jill, I got to ask, how big are these cannons? I think they're 18-pounders. Okay.

So they're normal field pieces being pulled by hand. Not a fun job to have. And then Juan Sigein and his detachment of Tejano Cowboys was still there, which is interesting as Tejano's were the only part of the army that was free to just go home at this point. After the massacres at the Almo and Goliad, Houston was worried that so many of his men had like some kind of blood hatred for Mexicans that they might shoot them. So before the march

Houston had ordered them to remain with the baggage or go home. To that Juan Sagan was so outrageously offended. He nearly challenged Sam Houston for a duel on the spot. And then he's like, no, me and my vicaros are fucking staying.

But they put a small cardboard square in the brim of their hats so people knew they were on their side. Meanwhile, in the Mexican camp, The defenders were taking a nap. I mean, good. Yeah. You got to honor the time in memoriam tradition of a siesta.

And it does make sense. Okay. This is often like, oh, the Santa Ana is so undisciplined, whatever, he just had all of his soldiers go to sleep, which is partially true. But the reason for this does make sense. Santa Ana's men had spent all night digging in while Koss's men had spent all night marching in. Then Santana woke his men up in the morning expecting a Texan attack.

because that's when he would have launched it. But it never came since, remember, Houston and his boys are locked at his tent screaming at one another. So assuming no attack is coming that day, Santana allowed his men to get rest. However, he did not post enough guards. So General Castilian and Colonel Delgado were like, shouldn't we have at least one half of the army stay awake? Like 90% of the force was allowed to nap.

Just on the Houston tent, I just got to say, you know it's smell crazy in there. Yeah, it's nasty. Going down to 10% security because there's just a ton of Seguarro Kakai around and everyone's got huge hats. And it's like, it's stereotypical on this. Listen, man, just going to say it. Okay, shouts out to my fallen brother Paco Gambo. I love you to death.

Unfortunately, he whipped shitties too hard in a helicopter in the Texas-Mexico border doing fucking, you know, hunting tours and crash and died. Loving to death, but he went out the way he wanted to, which is whipping shitties and fucking just probably probably playing credence in time. From Sonora State, moved to America as a kid, join the Army. we met that way. We stayed great friends. He introduced me to Sonoran food, one of the realest people ever met. As he said to me one time, I don't

care about the stereotypes. When you see one of those big ass cactus, you just want to take a nap. And like, General Castilian was like prodding Colonel Delgado. I was like, you need to go tell him, like, go wake him up and tell him like, this is a bad idea. But they were both kind of too afraid to wake

up Santa Ana and face his wrath. Because he also just trampled like two soldiers the other day. maybe we need to let him rest he's kind of a dick when he's tired he gets grumpy if you wake him up from his now yeah it is very funny to imagine this like you know

the sort of weird military class structure bullshit aside with your leaders like if one of your leaders like if he got really mad just like unhinged his jaw like a snake and the swallow people whole you're sort of like well I don't want to get on his bass side I mean that now is the time he isn't finished digesting the last colonel

he was mad at Santana's just laying on the floor with like an officer-shaped lump in his stomach under a heat lamp that's why he had to lie down and go for a sleep exactly exactly

be careful though if you get spook him too much when people come in to give him an announcement he'll just coil around you and he won't let go he'll rattle his boots together you just hear

the rattling of the spurs then at 4.30 p.m. The twin sisters opened fire into the Mexican camp Lamar charged with his horseman towards the left flank of the Mexican position and a Texan band struck up a jaunty tune

which I assumed was pretty much only fiddles and dudes blow it on jugs. That would be haunting. Like you've heard of the Aztec death whistle this is the Texan death whistle. Just like a dude named fucking Mirabow blowing at a jug. Mirabal has the jug. He's playing like

kind of a free, well proto free jazz on a joke. And it's the jug is empty Because your commander drank everything that was inside of it Houston rode on his horse Which he had nicknamed weirdly Saracen Oh Interesting name choice

And he ordered the men to open fire Now the attack that Houston had in mind Was the normal infantry attack for the day Like ranked volleying fires Slowly advancing forward But the Texans fire won volley And then he orders them to stop to relax That's when Secretary Rusk

Sprintz forward sword at his hands, screaming at everybody to keep charging because if they stop now, they'd be ripped apart by Mexican gunfire. Once again, losing command of his army, Sam Houston could do nothing

but try to keep up as the Texans broke ranks, left all military discipline in the wind and rushed forward. And to his credit, Rusk was probably right. This first volley didn't do much of anything other than wake the Mexicans up.

and if they just stood out there they probably would have gotten in more of like a slugging match with a trained army which they would have lost so Rusk accidentally turned the battle of San Jacinto into a legendary victory

the Mexican camp was caught completely by surprise officers woke up trying to get their men together but it was completely hopeless most men suddenly awaked at a cannon fire and musketry just ran for the hills not even attempting to fight some small groups of men

not entire units did follow orders and tried to man the line. Santana was powerless to get his force back in order. Texans poured over the barricades at Earthworks. Castellion was about the only commander to assemble anything that looked remotely like an organized defense, manning a cannon line until his men finally broke and ran, telling their general who they did love dearly to come with them.

To that, he turned to them, doffed his hat, and said, quote, I've been in 40 battles and I've never shown my back. I'm too old to do so now. Go on without me, and he turned to face the Texans sword in hand ready to die. Seeing this secretary Rusk ran forward and tried to get his men to not fire on the old general, I assumed because Rusk hadn't learned anything from all of the men just ignoring orders constantly, and General Castellione was cut down by about a hundred musket balls. Oh, all of this took less than 20 minutes.

However, the Texans were determined to get their revenge and shot and stab their way through the wounded or the fleeing. General Moses Bryant came across a drummer boy who had a leg broken in the retreat, who shouted up to him in Spanish begging for mercy, a language that Moses spoke. He shot the kid in the face. Mexican soldiers ran to the Tahanos for safety, begging them, calling them their Mexican brothers. The Tannos, the hardened-ass Vicaros, cowboys, screamed that, we're not Mexican, were Texan, and shot them dead. Other Mexican soldiers desperate to escape. attempted to swim across a nearby lake. Texas Riflemen simply posted up on the lake shore

and picked them off one by one like they were hunting. Other men pin down Mexican soldiers and scalp them. Oh, Jesus Christ. Dozens of Mexican corpses were found scalped. Jesus Christ. Fucking hell, man. A Texan doctor gathered several wounded men together and attempt to create a field hospital

only for Texan volunteers to simply walk through it and murder all of his patients. Several Texan leaders, Houston included, who had broken an ankle in the battle, attempted to stop the killing, but nobody was listening to them. You might be wondering, where's Santana and all of this? Well, he saw how hopeless the battle was within the first like five minutes and just got the fuck out of there. He ran into a nearby swamp escaping the slaughter and saving his life, and he ended up spending the night there, but was captured by some Texan scouts the next morning. By the time Santa Ana was captured and the slaughter stopped, 650 Mexican soldiers were dead, the vast majority of which were executed. The Texans had gotten their revenge.

Now, Santa Ana may have been captured and his column defeated, but remember, the Mexican army was far from defeated in Texas in general. This was a fact that Houston and Santa Ana both knew. So Santa Ana did what he did best. Went back to be president? He switched sides. He was brought before. Sam Houston and immediately went about saving his own life and also working on behalf of the Texan state. He told Houston, look, there's another general de Eurea that's out there and he's

not going to surrender. You're going to have to beat him and I don't think you can. But he'll go home if I tell him to. But you have to let me send an order. So he does. And he does. They retreat back to San Antonio. There's one general named General Philisola. He just picks up stakes and marches all the way back to Mexico. Deerea's like, I'm not following these orders because they're obviously under duress. But he doesn't march anywhere either. He just kind of hangs out. But he

does stop. Word eventually gets to Mexico about Santa Ana's defeat and the whole nation flew flags at half mass. Meanwhile, Santa Ana spent weeks negotiating in captivity with Houston, Rusk, and Texan president Burnett. This eventually led to the treaty of Alaska. But there's actually

two treaties of Velasco. One for public consumption and one, a personal agreement between the Texan government and Santa Ana, which was kept completely secret. Okay, so please inform me of the difference between the two. So the public one was the full withdrawal of Mexican troops across the Rio Grande River. POWs to be released, private property to be restored to its former owners, and of course, Santa Ana to be released safety. It should be pointed out here that the Texans, and in the treaty, slaves counted as personal property. And the Mexican army was freeing slaves from Texans wherever they went.

and part of the agreement was you have to give them back. To their credit, at least General Deerea refused to do that and told all of the slaves he freed to come back to Mexico with him, and they did. The second secret treaty was that Santa Ana was to become a Texan agent in the Mexican government. His whole job was to go back to Mexico and through politicking and backdoor agreements, get the Mexican state to recognize the independent Republic of Texas. This never happens, but Texans assume that until this day came, the Mexican army would be back in force, and soon thousands more American volunteers were flooding in at a level that nobody could even keep count of them anymore. And then, because of course this is going to happen, President Burnett forcefully displaced all Tejano's living near the Guadalupe River and gave their land to the new settlers.

Over the next several years, most of the original Tejano population of Texas would be forcefully displaced by this. the Texan state. And that is even to go into what they did to the native population. Yeah. Because it's the same thing America does. When Santa Ana returned home, he was arrested immediately. Most of the blame for the whole cluster fuck was laid at his feet. And he fell out of power, at least for a couple of years, because he pops back up during

the pastry war, which we did a bonus episode on. It's also where he gets his leg blown off. So go listen to that. Santa Ana is a man that's never out of power for long. And Mexico would never end up recognizing the republics. public of Texas. But as it turns out, that wouldn't really matter all that much. It became what you would call now de facto independent. Texas went ahead scheduling their first elections for Congress and president. Texans overwhelmingly voted for Sam Houston to be their first president. And then

the Texas Congress canceled all agreements that Sam Houston made with any native people within the country, saying he lacked any legal authority to do so when he did. And then they refused to make any other new agreements. The newly ratified Texan Constitution had significantly fewer rights for everybody that had previously existed under the Mexican Constitution. No free black person could live in Texas, period. Women could own nothing and could not legally act as their own person. Slavery was not only legal, but a slave could only be freed by an act of the Texan Congress, at which point they would have to leave the country. Jesus Christ. Texan politics. post-independence were as insane and factionalized as they were during the revolution,

with one faction eventually led by Lamar, advocating for a total genocide against the native population, and conquering more Mexican land all the way to California. So we almost got even bigger Texas. While Houston generally led the other faction that wanted to govern Texas in, let's say, a slightly more normal manner. He wanted to get international recognition, and that recognition largely failed. The reason for this was Mexico was a much more important trade partner for everyone. And by recognizing Texas, it could harm relations with Mexico. And there was also the small fact that Texas was a brand new country and an avowed slave state boiled into their constitution, much the same way the Confederacy would do in their constitution later. So that was

troubling for a lot of internet. Like, obviously there's a lot of slave countries still around. the United States for one that people are still doing business with but it's more of like well they're a grandfathered in because they own slaves when we own slaves Texas is new that's different also there's a lot of talk about just having Texas be annexed by the United States

which is something that Sam Houston comes to the conclusion like it's the only way for us to remain independent for Mexico but at the time there's an argument about Texas joining the union because they're a slave state it would throw the balance off but by the end the only countries that recognized the Republic of

Texas was the U.S., the United Kingdom, the Netherlands, France, and Belgium. The foreign policy was such a failure that that's when Sam Houston just said, I guess we need to, our true end point is joining the United States. There is even bitter battles over where the capital should be, and it switched several times, and only a semi-legal matter. Sometimes people just stole the capital effectively. Okay, tell me more. They stole like legal archives and like money and tried to move it around.

Sometimes people in that state capital stop them from stealing city archives, but just like beating their ass on the street. And meanwhile, the Texan economy was absolutely in shambles. It never fully recovered from the war. And it would remain that way for its entire existence. This was owing to the fact that they used their own incredibly unstable currency, the Texan dollar. And they decided that they did not need a central bank to manage that currency.

All of this is made worse by their number one economic. driver, slavery-driven cotton plantations, cotton crashed out, which made it even worse. The lack of recognition and the constant threat of war with Mexico, not to mention their tanking currency and completely wild economic structure, made everyone kind of think investing in Texas was a really bad idea, so people stopped. Even the constant coming of American colonists stopped, even though land was still virtually free. It didn't take long for the majority of Texans who are living in a collapsing slave state ran by monopoly money to start believing that, hey, maybe Sam Houston's annexation thing was a good idea. And eventually, just shy of a decade after independence,

the Republic of Texas comes to an end and as annexed by the United States starting the Mexican American War, which we'll talk about in a future series. It's actually funny, right before the Mexican-American War starts, Mexico offers Texas recognition, but only upon the legal promise they'll never join the United States so yeah very interesting we'll eventually cover the Mexican American War at some point I've wanted to cover it for some time

but you really can't talk about it without having this as a as a foundation so we had to do the Texas Revolution first okay but that is the Texas Revolution yeah and I will not have to make that noise for quite some time

yeah until we eventually do the Mexican American War and then it's like Yehahs are back. Yehers are back. Yeah, you're going to yee my ha. So fellas, how are you feeling? I am once again delighted to learn more about just the like guys that showed up in America around this time, like with insane names.

It's like when you leave an internet site open and like Nazis and freak show up and start fucking just graffiti and taking it over. It's sort of like that. What if that's a country and you could make money? Like, that's kind of the vibe that I get sometimes. I mean, I feel as though I have a spiritual kid going to. communion with the guys we've described because I am also riddled with pestilence at this moment. So it's been interesting reading about that and be like, yeah, but there are so many

things that you take for granted that they didn't have and they still manage to become one with the swamp. They still manage to do all kinds of feats of daring do. And yeah, this was great, Joe. This is a really, really interesting story. And I feel like I learned a lot and also learned, I discovered a lot of things. I'm glad I'm not old enough to have experienced. Unless I was the world's oldest podcaster and I just was really good with. my fucking skincare routine. Yeah, that's the fate of all of us is I'm going to be podcasting like the fucking god emperor of 40K grafted to a podcasting chair that keeps me alive so I can report about

the weird shit that's happening 200 years from now. Yeah, for anyone who's listening at home, Nate, much like the end in Melger Solid 3, if you sneak up on him three times, you get to take his spot on the podcast. It's true. You sneak up close to him. If the exclamation point appears over his head, you have to start over. Yeah. You have to save scum, Nate.

If you don't save me, then you have to ride on the fucking skidoo with Tom at the end of the game. And he's full of post-workout. He's going to be smelling fucking terrible. Oh, yeah. Just leaking shit gas right on your lap. I mean, the other day, me and Joe went to the gym and he gave me some of his illegal in the EU pre-workout. And I got about like 20 minutes in. It was like, why are my shins tingling?

I'm working out my shoulders. That's my personal promise to everybody that comes. works to me. I'll take you to the gym and I'll make you see God. I remember I was taking some kind of thing and I think we were going to do like high intensively repetition like interval workouts for Army PT and I never took a supplement

before Army PT. I forget after that because the best way I could describe it was sort of like I think my heart rate's normally supposed to calm down but it kind of isn't right now mods like it was really bad. Heart racing like the first time Lamar laid eyes on his cow wife

yeah like there's a there's a level you reach of like supplementation where your heart is beating so fast you actually can't feel it anymore that's what we call the sweet spot yeah but fellas that is a series but we do a thing on the show called questions from the legion and today's question is what is your favorite episode you've done this year oh that one's hard that one's very hard um i mean i did really like this series i think we did a good job shouts out to Ani who's gonna have to edit out all the things that we fucked up yeah honestly I think one of one of my favorite was Yardy Murphy from the other day that was a good one

that's very kind of you I think I think my favorite was watching you guys so cards on the table just people are aware my daughter became really ill it's nothing terminal nothing serious is a regular childhood illness but can be very serious and so she was hospitalized for eight days and she went to the hospital the night basically two nights before our live show

supposed to happen in London and Joe and Tom covered down for me and I basically monitored the live stream my friend Safine came down to handle sound and so I was actually I my wife handled the overnight that night and I was watching you guys perform on the live stream just making sure the live stream is going okay man monitoring comments and you know relaying stuff to the tech team and I was the whole thing of the guy who just will not stop fucking like old time you pump cart confederate shit chasing down the trains you guys I did like that I loved that episode I was love that episode a lot of you like not that I am in a position to it proud of you're like your fucking dad or whatever but you know what I mean like seeing you guys I'm open in the market for

one to be fair yeah but seeing you guys run with it and the fact that like you know anybody who watched that show came into it blind we just think that there wasn't a third co-host you guys handled it so well that to me has been a huge highlight like a huge like high water mark so I do think that was one of my favorite live shows that we've done I think the the episode was really good the crowd was great and it was the first time we had a confirmed case of someone who thought we were led by donkeys coming into the show and sitting down. It was an older

couple. Obviously, immediately they had to know that we weren't them, but they stayed for the whole show. Yeah. And immediately got up and left. So at least they were very polite. I hope you laughed at least once. But I really enjoyed that one. Also, it's on an episode, but I love the miniature.

Yeah, absolutely. I know that technically was probably last year. It was, but it took a while to get. I think we didn't actually manage to launch sales on it until until January. Yeah. I recall that being a thing.

But yeah, yeah, yeah. So my friend Ari Nielsen, who is helping us out with designing social media stuff and posters, et cetera. He is a sculptor. He's a professional sculptor.

He does, like, makes his living with figurine work. And he, we talked about it, and he designed the Doug the donkey slash Hansier figurine for us. And, I mean, like,

shouts out because Ari is great, but like, you know, figurines doesn't just because someone who does a professional doesn't necessarily mean it's going to be like fucking life-changing but when I saw his work I was like Jesus Christ dude you're so good at this I was so so happy with the real and the fans their paint jobs

on them have been wonderful one person got third place when I I was in DC so I went to DC for this convention during which time the capital open painting contest was going on I was so desperately trying to get into that hall so I

could see because I knew their figurine was in the finals is our dog figurine that they painted wonderfully and there was like 20 people lined up outside like okay this must be the line to get in and they're like no it's full i'm like it doesn't start for 30 minutes like oh it's full like okay but like i tried to explain to the i don't want to call him a bouncer because it's the it's the tabletop convention they don't have bouncers i try to explain i'm like look i host this show and someone in there painted one of our miniatures and it's in the finals I really want to be there for it and he's looking at me with like

eyes completely glazed over because it's an insane thing to try to explain to someone and I couldn't get in to see but the figurine did get third and it's fucking outstanding I want to say Ari he went to some competition I think it was in Italy I can't remember where I want to say it might have been in Milan but it

was for this kind of thing basically for miniatures artists basically competition and the work he was showing pictures to me of all of people who were in it was unbelievable but he placed second I think he got a silver metal for our figurine. I know that that would never happen to me because I can't paint for shit.

I love miniatures ever since I've gotten into them. I'm painting a lot. I'm playing a lot but I'm never getting a podium on that shit. I just do it for fun and stress relief and it's wonderful. I also got to say maybe a bit of a selfish one. Doing the order was so

like so fun. It was because it was just like so insane looking at all the stuff and trying to like hold it in contention. just like the Robert Matthews voice was just such. Oh, the that series was outstanding. I think that's probably my favorite series we've done

all year. We've had so much fun. People either loved the Mickey Mouse voice or they didn't. We loved it. So that's why, because we're here to make each other laugh. Robert Matthews living in a shoe, the electric Jew. Yep. Yep.

That series is outstanding. I would say somebody once reached out and said, I got my partner to listen to lines by telling and this is the only show I've ever heard where it's it's I mean they thought we were all straight but they they were correct all three of all of us are cisgender and they just have some kind of chaotic trans energy and I was like I appreciate that that's how people feel because to me I'm working with Kiljames Bond it feels like everything I've ever done with from with trans people

in general with work always feels like the quality of work is insanely high like the workmanship like the professionalism is insanely high and the complete fucking bat shit nutsness is also high but everything it's like it's so to me that's like our life goal it's not to become trans but my life goal here is because if I wanted to do that at this point of my life like fuck what would I have to lose man more power to you guys man I'm here to support you what I'm trying to say though is that like to me it's more it's more that I want the show to sound

as good as it can I want the research to be as good as it can I want our ability to communicate perform to do everything to be as professional as I can but I also want it to go as fucking nuts as it can and be still be funny and not become distracting like I want to blade run it you know what I mean I want to like it's not enough

to have a reliable family car that gets you from point in point B when you do we do. I want to redline that shit and I want to fucking Akir-slide the horse, okay? I won't rest until I'm doing that shit. And I'm just so grateful that you two are also fully on board for that.

You understand that vision because like it's, you know, it's been amazing to see it like get fleshed out, get kind of mature and become, you know, everything builds on top of itself. So that's how I feel. I feel like the order was, yeah, I totally forgot because my brain dumps every episode. They're like, oh, you must know so much about history. Like, no, I don't know shit. I forget

everything. But, but, Tom, shouts out to you for researching that. And yeah, I think as a piece, that whole thing, that was really great. Yeah, the next terrorism series is not going to be fun at all. Nope. Well, if you're currently, I was also really ill during the recording of the order. And I was still able to tell you fucking guys, you better get inside that shoe right now. So, you know.

I can fit my family of seven and my cowwife in a shoe. Uh, guys. Relax, listen to the doors. Guys, thank you so much for joining me on this four ill. long text and venture, but you host other podcasts. Plug those other podcasts. What a hell way to dad. Trash Future. Kill James Bond. No gods, no mares. I am in some capacity either involved or I'm a co-host and both of all those shows have free feeds and Patreon feeds if you want to subscribe and get bonus content. So check those out, please. I am beneath the skin, show, but the history

of everything told through the history of tattooing. My books are available on beneath skin shop.com and I am producing a new show hosted by Greg Foley called Bloodwork, which is about the economies of violence. This is still the only show that I work on and you can support it by supporting us on Patreon. Just five bucks a month gets you absolutely everything. It is a very long list from Discord access to every show early to years and years of bonus content to include one rotating cowwife while supplies last. And until next time, Yihaha! Yehaw!

Yehaw! Y'ha! I think of my goodness.